Chapter Text
It’s been two months since her dad’s death. It’s been two months since her entire life was flipped upside down.
It was the McMillin’s first day of high school in their new town. Illi was going into her senior year, while her brother Mikey was starting as a freshman. Both were severely rattled by this incident, but they showed it in different ways. Mikey is trying his very best to make his father proud, while Illi has come to the conclusion that nothing good ever lasts long. She thought a new identity would help her, but her mother isn’t taking this change so well.
“ILLI!” Mikey shouts. “Come down and eat your breakfast before I eat it!”
Illi groans. She didn’t want to go downstairs and feel their mother’s wrath, and she wanted to go to school even less. Regardless, she slumps down the stairs and grabs her bowl of Count Chocula. She grabs her backpack and reaches for the door, and-
“Gerard! Is that makeup? No son of mine is leaving this house dressed that way!”
Illi stiffens and spins around. “I’m not your son, Margaret. And that’s not my name anymore, it’s Illi.”
Their mother scoffs. “Oh, shut up. This isn’t who you are, you’re not Lilly, you’re some idiot too stupid to realize that this is who you are, Gerard McMillin!”
Illi stiffens. “How would you know who I am?” And with that, they grab their brother’s arm, and storm out the door. “Oh, and by the way, it’s Illi.”
The first day went just how Illi expected. Dull and boring. At her old school, at least she had friends. Illi sits up, stopping her doodles on their history textbook. That’s it, friends! Illi needs to make friends!
The next day at school, Illi brings a surprise that’s sure to make her some friends. But who to give it to? she wonders. They sit down in math class, and look at the girl behind her. She seems nice, pretty.
Illi waited until her teacher, Mr. Martin, wasn’t looking, and turned around. “Pst.” The girl didn’t look up. “Psst!” Still no response. Illi was getting impatient. “Hey!” she whispered, and knocked on the girl’s desk.
The girl jumped. “What?”
Illi shushed her. “I have something for you.”
The girl’s face lit up. “Really? Let me see!”
Illi cups her hands and rests them on the girl’s desk. She opens her hands and out pops a-
“EEEEK, SPIDER!!” the girl shrieks and jumps up out of her chair.
“Yeah,” Illi smiles, “isn’t he cool? His name’s Poe!”
The girl shakes. “G-g-get that thing away from me!”
Mr. Martin walks over. “I heard a scream, what happened? Maria, are you alright?”
Maria points at Illi. “That-that freak set that spider on me!”
Illi was baffled. “Wha-no! No, I was just showing her Poe!” Illi picks him up and shows him to Mr. Martin. “Isn’t he cool?”
Apparently Mr. Martin doesn’t like spiders, because that day Illi got sent to the principal’s office. So much for making friends…
Illi sighs. Maybe she’s not cut out for this friend stuff after all. Maybe they’re destined to a life of solitude. That’s ok, she thinks. All of the kids here seem like massive jerks, anyway. I wouldn't want to be friends with any of them.
“Hey.”
Illi looks up. Beside her on the bench sits a boy her age with floppy black hair and lots of piercings.
“Uh, hey.” Illi responds. That was smooth.
“So, what’re you here for?”
Illi tenses up. Does he know me from my old school? “Um, I kinda go to school here.”
The boy laughs. “No, why are you waiting outside the principal’s office looking all depressed? I assume you’re not here just to chat with her.”
Illi feels her face get hot. “Oh, sorry, I meant, um, I thought you…nevermind.” Illi looks up at the boy, expecting a judgmental look. But instead she’s met with a different look. One of, understanding...? “So, there’s this girl in my math class who seemed really nice, so I offered her my spider, y’know, as, like, a gift of friendship?” Illi sighs hearing herself. “Tell me if I sound stupid.”
The boy shakes his head. “Not at all. Keep going, what happened next?”
Despite the circumstances, Illi smiles. “So I place the spider on her desk and she lets out the most blood-curdling scream I’ve ever heard! Then Mr. Martin came over, blamed me for, like, traumatizing her or some crap, I don’t know. So yeah, now I’m here.”
The boy smiles. “Y’know, most people probably don’t want a spider to be dropped on their desk.”
Illi scowls. “Well how would I know that? I personally love spiders.”
The boy shudders. “Well I don’t. They’re creepy, and I normally love all things creepy, but there’s just something weird about them and their eight legs. It’s unnatural.”
The boy glares at Illi as she laughs. “Sorry, it's just you’re afraid of spiders? You, the most punk dude I’ve ever met?”
He shrugs. “Everyone’s afraid of something.” There’s an awkward silence, then the boy speaks up again. “So who was it? That you scared the bejeezus out of, I mean.”
“Some girl named Maria. She seemed chill at first, but now I know first impressions aren’t always right.”
The boy smiles. “Well this is my first impression of you, and you seem pretty cool.”
Illi’s face gets hot again. Honestly, how often will this be happening? “Oh, thanks! You seem pretty cool, too.”
Another awkward silence. A look of realization crosses the boy’s face. “Wait, you said Maria? You tried to be friends with Maria?”
“Yeah.” Illi replies. “Is that a problem?”
The boy shakes his head and smiles “Yeah, kinda. She’s the most popular girl in school, and here at Pencey Prep, popularity means everything, even more than niceties and crap.”
“Oh.” Illi thinks for a moment, then gathers up their courage. She will ask this boy to be her friend. “Hey, uh, while we’re here, would you-”
Just then the door to the principal’s office opens. “Iero? Come in.”
The boy gets up and turns to Illi. “Whelp, nice meeting ya! Catch you later.” He walks into the room with the principal. “Hey Mrs. Glen! How’s your mom? She still living on that houseboat?”
Mrs. Glen sighs and rolls her eyes. “Just take a seat.”
And with that, the boy was gone. All Illi had to do was wait for her turn. Luckily, she brought her pencil and a piece of paper, so she spent the whole time doodling. She waited for what felt like hours, zoning out into her drawings. Finally, the principal came and called her into the office. Illi got up and was about to fold her paper and put it into her pocket, when she looked down and admired her work for the first time.
Oh. Taking up most of the paper was a drawing of the boy. Oh god. She had to admit, it was a good drawing. Fairly accurate. But she still felt a little unsettled. Why was she drawing a person who she didn’t even know the name of. That’s it, she had to find out his name. After all, she can't keep calling him “the boy”.
Mrs. Glen clears her throat, snapping Illi out of her daze. “McMillin? Come on inside.”
Illi sits in science class, her last class of the day. Thankfully their punishment wasn’t too severe, just a call to home (that her mother never picked up) and a demerit.
They looked for the boy the whole day, and only wound up seeing him at lunch, but he was with other people. Fortunately, he was also in her science class, but he sits in the back, surrounded by people. Illi would go over and say hi, but some of the kids he was with intimidated her a bit, although she would never admit it.
Eventually, class was over. Illi assumed the others would just leave, but no, they kept hanging around. Illi took a deep breath, and walked over to their table. “Uh, hey.”
Everyone looked up. “Um, hi?” one girl said. “Like, who are you?”
“Oh, I’m-”
“Hey, wait, I know who she is!” One guy said. “She’s that freak that set the spider on Maria!”
Illi was taken aback. “What? No, I didn’t set the spider on her!”
The guy stands up. “Dude, that was my girlfriend! You better not mess with her ever again!”
Illi stutters “I-I won't."
One girl points at Illi. “Guys, do you see her eyeliner? Emo alert!” She cackles.
Tears form in Illi’s eyes. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
Finally, the boy speaks up. “Hey guys, maybe let’s lay off her. Like, I wear eyeliner too, lots of people do.”
The group rolls their eyes. “Whatever. She can just leave now.”
“Oh, uh, ok.” Illi runs out of the room and down the hall. She ducks underneath the stairs and starts to sob. It wasn’t just the teasing, she was used to that. No, it was that the boy she wanted to be friends with just sat there and let them tease her. Then again, he did kind of stick up for her, but was it really that effective? Was it even whole-hearted? Illi sighs and buries her head in her hands. She doesn’t know what to think, what to believe.
Just then someone else comes beneath the stairs. It’s him. “Hey, are you alright?” he asks, as he sits down next to her. Illi huffs and shifts away from him.
He rubs the back of his head. “Look, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me…”
“Well, you’re right, I don’t.” Illi says, still not looking at him.
The boy sighs. “You don’t have to respond, but I just want to apologize for being such a jerk. I shouldn’t’ve let them bully you like that. I’m sorry.”
Another pause.
“Look, you don’t have to forgive me right now, or even ever. I just don’t want to leave things sour between us, cause… well cause you seem pretty cool, and I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything like that.”
Still no response. The boy sighs. “Well uh, I guess I’ll be on my way.” He gives her one last look as he starts to leave.
“Hey, wait.” Illi says. The boy stops. “Uh, thanks for coming to check on me, I guess.”
The boy offers a shy smile. “Don’t mention it, it’s what friends do.”
Illi looks up, surprised. “We’re friends?”
“I mean, if you want to be.” The boy says, and, is it possible that he’s blushing?
Illi gives him a soft smile. “Sure.” They sat there for a little while. While it was awkward at first, their small talk turned into talking about the misfits, their favorite band. Soon she was laughing about something he said, and it felt like all of her problems were solved. Well, all except one.
“My name’s Illi, by the way. What’s yours?”
They boy smiles. “Illi, huh? I like that. I’m Frank.”