Work Text:
Nico: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it
Jason: Just rip the bandaid off
Nico: It's Percy
Jason: Put the bandaid back on
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Jason: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Nico: *turning to Percy* How tall are you?
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Will: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated
Nico: Killed without hesitation
Will: No.
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(during BotL)
Percy: What's up guys? I'm back
Annabeth: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.
Percy: Death is a social construct
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Nico: How many kids do you have?
Will: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
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Nico: Will...
Will: Oh no, 'Will' in b-flat
Will: You're disappointed
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Annabeth: Is something burning?
Percy: Just my love for you
Annabeth: Percy, the toaster is on fire
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Nico: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Will, without looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Nico:
Nico: fsh
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Nico: I want to wake up with you everyday for the rest of our lives
Will: I wake up at 4:30am
Nico: I want to see you at some point everyday for the rest of our lives
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Jason: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?
Leo: Okay
*later*
Piper: Valdez! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble
Jason, whispering: Deny everything
Leo, loudly: That isn't a chair
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Percy: Can I bother you for a second?
Nico: You're always bothering me, but go ahead
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Nico: Where did you get that tomato soup?
Will: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved
Nico:
Nico: Get the fuck out
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Nico: The path to inner peace begins with four words… not my fucking problem.
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Jason: Wow, they really hate us
Leo: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic
Jason: But we’re not gay, Leo.
Leo:
Jason:
Leo: We’re not?
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Annabeth: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Thalia: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Hazel: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.
Percy: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Jason: I tried to eat a stapler as a baby
Nico: I have emotional scars
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Nico: "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease
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