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Teru, contrary to popular belief, is great with emotions.
He can attest to this because when Akane leans over him to grab a paper, he doesn’t even flinch. His breath doesn’t stutter as he hears Akane laugh at something across the student council room. He doesn’t even blush when their shoulders brush against one another while giving a presentation to the rest of the council.
Despite all this, he knows that he is truly, deeply, irrevocably in love with Akane.
There was no big moment that led to this realization. It was more of a slow, quiet acceptance - one that he tucked away in the back of his mind as his eye would catch a glimpse of the pocket watch that Akane carried.
He wondered if the watch felt as heavy as the sword on Teru’s back did some days.
The accidental late night meetups with Aoi started becoming a lot less accidental and a lot more frequent.
It’s how they found themselves at the convenience store yet again, choosing snacks and making light conversation.
During a lull, Teru looks over at Aoi who is debating between two different chocolate bars. It’s probably the sleep deprivation, but suddenly he feels the need to get the crushing weight of his feelings for Akane off of his chest. Once the idea is in his head it won’t leave so there’s only one thing to do.
Staring at the bag of chips in his hand, Teru tries to quell his heart and finally softly asks, “Akane-san, have you ever had a crush?”
“Is this about Akane?”
Teru whips around so fast he gets a crick in his neck but he hardly pays it any attention. “You have a crush on Aoi?”
Aoi gives him a funny look. “No? You do.”
Something in Teru’s heart falters and he sighs, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket. He supposes that just because he lacks outward reactions that doesn’t necessarily mean his feelings were unnoticeable. He briefly wonders if Akane noticed and the thought shakes any of the previous sleepiness out of him. Noticing his dilemma, Aoi pats him on the back sympathetically.
“Let’s go to the park.”
They sit down, Aoi cracking open a melon drink and Teru opening a bag of chips. She sips her drink slowly and waits for Teru to gather his thoughts but when it seems like he won’t say anything she sighs.
Setting her drink down she turns to look at him, “So you’re going to ask Akane out.”
Teru accidentally bites his tongue at the sudden comment. “I am not going to be doing that.”
“But you like him?”
Aoi says it like it’s so simple and Teru wishes that was the case. With a groan he hides his face in his hands.
“That’s the problem though, I can’t.” How should Teru explain this? “It’s—it’s against everything I stand for.”
Aoi pauses mid-sip of her melon soda and her expression is something Teru can’t quite place. “You mean... morally?”
“Yes!”
“Because he’s a—”
“Don’t say it out loud.”
Aoi gives him a sad look and Teru looks away. He could’ve sworn Aoi had no knowledge of supernaturals - thinking no more of them than just being silly rumors and myths - but perhaps hanging out around Nene gave her some insight.
There’s a brief silence before Aoi sighs, “It might sound hypocritical of me to say but: you’re allowed to care about someone, even if it surprises you. That’s not a weakness.”
Teru wants to protest. Caring for someone was a weakness, especially as an exorcist. Still, he doesn’t want to make Aoi’s understanding of the supernatural world even more deprecating so he settles for saying, “…I guess you’re right.”
Aoi sets her drink down slowly. “Minamoto-senpai,” she says carefully, causing Teru to look over. Once they’ve made eye contact, she continues, speaking slowly as if to make sure to really drive the point home.
“It’s really okay if you like Akane. Even if he’s a boy.”
There’s a long silence. The sound of the crickets in the dead of night would almost make the moment comedic if Teru didn’t just realize what this conversation was morphing into.
“…What?!” Teru shoots upright, a visible vein bulging near his temple. “No! That’s not—I’m not—It’s not because he’s a boy! It’s because he’s—he’s—!”
So maybe Aoi doesn’t know about supernaturals. Teru is busy trying to come up with another suitable excuse for not being able to ask Akane out when Aoi interrupts.
“...Handsome?”
“No! I mean—yes—but NO! I mean he’s suspicious!”
Aoi raises a single brow. “Suspicious…ly good looking?”
“Aoi!”
She giggles behind her hand. Teru looks like he’s having a mild stroke.
“...It wouldn’t work,” he mumbles finally, resting his head on the table. “We’re too different.”
Aoi pats his head sympathetically and doesn’t push the subject anymore.
After the disaster that was his conversation with Aoi, Teru decides it’s better to go with someone who unmistakably does know about the supernaturals of the world. And if there’s someone familiar with that, it’d have to be Nene Yashiro.
Her and Number 7 were in love, but not together, right? If anyone would understand his dilemma it’s sure to be her.
That’s how he finds himself waiting at her locker after school, arms stiffly crossed and posture formal, like he’s about to hand her a report instead of asking for advice.
Nene blinks up at him when she rounds the corner. “Minamoto-senpai?”
“I need to talk to you,” he says, serious. Too serious. He glances around the hallway. “Privately.”
They’re not exactly friends - more like close acquaintances - so he’s not surprised when she hesitates.
Nene stares. “...Is it related to Hanako?”
“No,” he says. Then, after a pause: “Maybe.”
She looks at him for a moment and whatever she finds in his expression must convince her and she quickly gathers her things and follows him out of the building.
They end up seated behind the school building on one of the stone benches, the sun dipping low and casting long shadows across the pavement. Teru still hasn’t sat properly—he’s half-perched, like his dignity won’t allow full contact with public benches.
Nene kicks her feet and waits patiently, hands folded in her lap. “So. What’s up?”
Teru exhales through his nose. “Let’s say, hypothetically, there was someone.”
Nene’s eyes light up. “A someone?”
“I said hypothetically,” he snaps and immediately feels guilty about it but she isn’t deterred.
“Uh-huh. Got it. A totally hypothetical crush that’s eating you alive.”
“I’m not being eaten alive.” He frowns.
She leans forward, grinning. “So talk to me about Akane.”
Teru chokes. “I never said his name—!”
“You didn’t have to.” She grins, smug and too knowing. “I was wondering when you were going to admit it. You’ve been weird every time he’s around.”
“I’m not—!” He stops himself, groans, and buries his face in his hands. “This is a mistake.”
“No wait, I’m invested now!” she says, scooting closer. “So what’s the issue? He likes you back.”
Teru lifts his head, startled. “He does?”
“I mean, probably,” she says, very unhelpfully. “He acts like it. He’s not exactly subtle.”
Teru presses a hand to his temple. “This is not good. This can’t happen. It’d never work.”
Nene sighs, starry-eyed. “Ugh, forbidden love. I live for this. I have so many manga that would help.”
He glances at her warily. “You have manga about a supernatural and an exorcist falling in love?”
She blinks. “No? I meant BL.”
He stares.
She beams. “There’s this one where they’re from rival schools and fight all the time but it turns out they’ve been secretly in love for years and—”
“I’m leaving.”
“No wait, I can lend it to you—!”
“Yashiro, I swear—”
“You need guidance! Education! An outlet!”
“I don’t need BL manga as a coping mechanism!”
“Everyone needs BL manga as a coping mechanism!”
Teru walks away mid-rant. Nene yells after him, “You’re just in denial! This is textbook tsundere behavior!”
He speeds up.
(When he opens his locker the next day, a singular manga volume sits on top of his books.)
Teru scrolls through his contacts, lobster plush under his chin. There must be someone who could accurately see the problem and tell Teru he was insane for even entertaining the notion of possibly asking Akane out. The list of names stares back at him.
Akane
Not an option for obvious reasons.
Aoi
He’d already tried there.
Father
Absolutely not.
Kou
Anyone else. Literally anyone else.
Nene
Already tried that and the manga sitting on his desk proves that. (It really was good.)
Akane
Aoi
Father
Kou
Nene
Teru stares at the screen like it personally offended him.
Akane. Aoi. Father. Kou. Nene.
Gosh, he needs to make more friends.
With a sigh, he drops the device onto the bed, mulling over his options. His thoughts are interrupted by Kou’s voice calling out, “Nii-chan! Dinner’s ready!” before disappearing down the stairs.
Teru weighs his options before getting up with a sigh and opening his bedroom door.
He really does need more friends.
Dinner goes on as it normally does, which is a disadvantage for Teru because he can’t seem to find a good point to bring up the topic. He tries, time and time again, but is distracted by Kou changing topic, or Tiara struggling to grab a piece of food.
It’s only when he sees Kou get up and make a move to start cleaning up that he takes matters into his own hands.
“I like Akane-kun!”
Okay. Not quite what he meant to do. Teru can feel his heart thundering in his chest and it feels good to say the words, but a part of him is also so scared . There’s a beat of silence. Kou tilts his head. “…Okay? That’s great?”
He goes to pick up Teru’s plate and is stopped by a hand on his.
“But you know why we can’t be together.” Teru says the words slowly making sure Kou understands the weight behind them.
As much as Teru tried to shield it from him, Kou grew up hearing the same lectures Teru did - about the duties of exorcists. About how disgusting supernaturals were.
Kou just blinks again, more owlishly this time. “I mean… I thought you knew I was bi.”
“Nii-chan is homophobic?” Tiara, who had been distracted finishing up her side of broccoli, chooses that moment to chime in.
Teru bolts upright. “No! That’s not the problem!! Why does everyone think that?”
He also wants to ask how Tiara even knows what being homophobic is, but he doesn’t think it’s the right time. (Well, good on her for recognizing that being homophobic is bad.) (He’s also realized maybe he shouldn’t have started this conversation around her.)
Kou stares at him like he’s insane and Teru is starting to feel like he is. “You’re acting like you’re gonna be disowned for dating Akane, so I figured it was that he’s… y’know. A boy. Which is totally fine.”
Teru groans, dragging a hand down his face. “I know it’s fine because I’m gay.”
It was just a fundamental fact about Teru that he’s known his whole life. He was the eldest Minamoto son. He was an exorcist. He was gay.
“Congrats on coming out,” Kou says but it sounds more like a question. He frowns. “Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem,” Teru says through gritted teeth, “is that Akane is—he’s—he’s a supernatural!”
“So?”
Teru throws his hands up. “My job is to eliminate threats from the supernatural world!”
Kou, bless him, looks like he is trying very hard not to laugh. “Nii-chan. He’s part supernatural. And only technically - he’ll be fully human again once he graduates and his contract expires. ”
“What would dad think?”
The thing is, Teru knew that Akane being a supernatural was just an excuse. Like Kou said, it was only on a technicality to begin with. But there was a fear bubbling in the back of his mind - part of Teru that thinks What would that say about the Minamotos? that he just can’t seem to quell.
Kou looks around pointedly at the three dinner plates on the table and is about to say something to it when Tiara interrupts once again.
“But nii-chan!” She’s now trying to wiggle out of her chair, causing Kou to quickly step in. Once she’s safely on the floor, she trots over to Teru and puts her hands on his knees. “Akane makes you happy!”
Teru freezes.
“…You like him,” she says with the stubborn finality of a five-year-old who knows she’s right. “And he makes you less grumpy.”
Kou pats her head approvingly, then looks up at Teru. “She’s got a point.”
Teru stares down at them like they’ve just solved the riddle of the universe. Or maybe like he wants to sink into the floor and disappear.
“…Fine,” he mutters, finally. “Maybe I like him. Maybe he makes me happy. Maybe I’m the problem.”
“Progress,” Kou says, nodding solemnly.
Tiara nods excitedly. “And if Akane comes over he can have a tea party with Tiara.”
They make it sound so simple and Teru feels stupid for going to three (well, four) people about it to ask for advice. He’s lost in thought when Kou claps him on the back, nearly making him choke on his own tongue.
“You’ve got this.”
He does not “got this”.
They’re in the student council room because that’s where most of their interactions are and even the familiarity of that isn’t enough to make Teru breathe easier. Akane is distracted by something on his phone, completely oblivious to Teru’s panic.
Teru shifts awkwardly. His hand flies up to ruffle his hair. He never ruffles his hair. His fingers clench around his sleeve, heart in his throat like it’s preparing to jump ship entirely.
Akane glances up from his phone, raising a brow. “You okay, Minamoto-senpai?”
Teru clears his throat. “Yes. No. I mean—I need to talk to you. About something. Important.”
Akane pockets his phone with a curious little smile and if Teru wasn’t already spiraling he might’ve looked more into it. “Okay.”
“This is going to sound… stupid. Or weird. Or both.”
Akane leans against the wall, arms crossed, like he’s settling in for a show. “I’m listening.”
“I like you,” Teru blurts. Then, realizing he’s said it way too fast and way too bluntly, immediately follows with, “But that’s not—wait, I mean—it is that, but it’s more complicated—”
Akane blinks. “Okay?”
Teru groans. “It shouldn’t be complicated, but I—gosh, this week has been a nightmare—I asked Aoi for advice, and she thought I was gay panicking, which, I guess I kind of was, but not in the way she meant—and Nene gave me some manga and I don’t even want to talk about that—and Kou thought I was coming out? And Tiara thinks I’m homophobic—!”
Akane snorts.
“—but the point is, I like you,” Teru says, very seriously, “and I shouldn’t.”
Akane tilts his head and assesses Teru for a moment. “Why not?”
Teru hesitates. “Because…you’re…”
Akane’s smile is all teeth now. “A boy?”
Teru looks up, panicked and completely missing the joking lilt in his tone. “No! I mean—yes—but that’s not the problem!”
“Oh?” Akane says innocently, stepping closer. “Then what is?”
“You’re a supernatural,” Teru mutters.
There’s a beat.
Then Akane laughs.
He actually laughs. Not a mean laugh—more incredulous than anything. “That’s what you’re worried about?”
“I’m an exorcist!” Teru protests, red in the face. “This is a conflict of inter-!”
Before Teru can keep spiraling, Akane steps forward, grabs him by the collar, and kisses him.
It’s short and firm and shuts Teru up completely.
When Akane pulls back, he says, “You’re Teru,” eyes bright. “And I’m Akane.”
Teru just stares at him, dazed. He is still processing the situation when Akane smirks and - he’s so pretty . He’s so beautiful and Teru forgets about being an exorcist and supernatural or them both being boys because he’s just Teru and that’s just Akane and it’s so simple Teru must be stupid.
Teru groans and hides his face in his hands. “I hate you.”
“You really don’t.” Akane waves him off dryly, not missing a beat.
He doesn’t.
Not even a little bit.