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"My voice? No, no."
The patterns shouldn't affect her voice, not now, not when they were so close! The Hunmoon was about to turn golden, she could feel it, and she needed it to be there soon, so she could finally stop having these patterns on her skin, and be free.
She couldn't waste any more time, delay things any longer. This was supposed to be the day.
So why? Why are her stupid patterns ruining everything for her again? The three of them were so close. Mira and Zoey had performed brilliantly in their parts, so why? Why did it always have to be Rumi who failed? Why did this side of her always have to ruin her life!?
"Rumi? Are you okay there?"
Oh no, how long had she been here? What had happened to the Live? God, she left the girls alone, and ruined everything.
What would her fans think? Celine? This was terrible.
Rumi was terrible.
"Yes, yes, I'm good."
But she wasn't. The patterns grew larger and larger every day, and Rumi could feel herself beginning to lose control. It had been her voice now, but what would it be next? Would her eyes take on that demonic hue? Would she grow claws and fangs? Would Gwi-Ma be able to control her?
She didn't know. She hadn't anticipated this would happen; it wasn't supposed to take so long to make the Hunmoon golden.
And now, with her voice gone, she couldn't do it.
"You uh, don't sound good, Rumi."
"Zoey, I promise you I am." Rumi didn't like to lie, but what was one more lie, when their entire relationship had been forged on them?
Of course, she wanted to tell the girls the truth, but Rumi was a demon, Celine had been right to tell her it was dangerous for them to know. They might be her friends, but Celine had taught them to put their duties as Demon Hunters before anything else, Rumi being no exception.
If she told them now, they would kill her, and everything she had fought for, everything Celine had fought for, would be wasted.
No, she couldn't tell them. It wasn't the time. First, they had to turn the Hunmoon into gold, and after that Rumi could fracture their relationship. They couldn't allow themselves any weakness or fear before then.
Even if Rumi was a walking one. A problem waiting to happen.
Mira would probably hate her after learning her origins. Rumi had betrayed her trust and lied to her face ever since they met. She would never forgive her.
And Zoey... Maybe Zoey would still be her friend, but if Rumi's friendship with Mira broke, she would suffer because of it, and she wouldn't know what to do.
No, the truth has to wait. Just a little longer, just a little longer!
Soon, her voice will return, and they—they will fulfill their purpose, yes.
"Rumi, you've been there for half an hour, I'm going in."
What?
Wait no no no-
"Mira! Wait!"
Rumi reaches out, grabbing the hem of her jacket. She needs to hurry, put it on, and zip it up. She needs to- come on! move a little faster.
Why can't her body cooperate with her just once!?
"Rumi, are you...okay?" Mira's voice trails off, her wide eyes fixed on her skin. The jacket dangles uselessly in her hands.
There, the revelation hits her.
Rumi hadn't managed to cover herself. Rumi hadn't managed to cover herself.
And now...the girls were watching her. All of her, including the rotten parts.
This is bad, this is very bad.
"Rumi... you have patterns."
"Zoey, I-" It wasn't the right time; Rumi wasn't ready for this!
"Have you been lying to us all this time?"
"Mira, no, I mean, yes, b-but it was for a good reason! I was trying to get rid of this side of me, to eliminate it! I'm not—I'm not like the other demons, I swear. I'm good."
"Good at lying, maybe."
"Mira, no-"
"If you're a demon, why were you so desperate to turn the Hunmoon golden?"
"Because when we achieve that, these ugly patterns will go away and- and I'll finally be normal!"
"Rumi, that doesn't sound..."
Try as she might, Rumi couldn't keep quiet, not when Zoey and Mira were looking at her like that.
"I swear I was planning on telling you! I've wanted to for years, but I was afraid, because I wanted you, once you... knew the truth, to be able to love me."
"Able to.. love you?"
"Yes!" Why wasn't Celine here? She could explain all this better. "Without this ugly part of me, I can finally be truly loved!"
Rumi didn't like the way Zoey and Mira exchanged glances. Had she said something wrong? Had she proven herself a danger to them?
Her hands tremble, floating in the air, as if she wants to get closer to the girls, and at the same time move away from them.
She would, if she weren't so scared. If her patterns weren't growing and spreading all over her skin.
As it is, Rumi remains frozen in place, holding her breath, awaiting her friends judgment.
"Rumi." Zoey's voice is soft as she moves toward her. "What do you mean by 'truly loved'?"
Her brow furrowed. Of all the things she'd said, was that what had confused them?
"Everything with patterns must die. No demon deserves love, nor to live far from misery." The words come easily. Years of hearing Celine repeat them have left them ingrained in her. "As long as I have these patterns, I am one of them, so I need to make them disappear, and I will be the opposite."
Zoey's eyes lit up, and her hands gripped hers, holding back her trembling.
"Rumi, we already love you."
"That-" Her voice chokes. "That can't be true, I'm still a demon."
"Rumi, you may have lied to us, and I may be very angry with you right now, but I love you. We both do." Mira places her hands over hers, staring into her eyes.
She seems to mean it, but she can't. She just can't.
"No." Rumi pulls her hands away from them, backing away against the wall. "No! Stop lying to me! No one can love me while I'm like this! "
The girls recoil at the scream, the ground vibrating beneath them, and Rumi clutches her throat, turning pale.
She had just- she had just-
"Rumi, look at us."
She couldn't.
She didn't want them to see her true face. The monster she truly carried inside.
If they were going to kill her, she wanted them to at least see her as human a little more.
"Please...just finish quickly with this."
"Rumi, we're not going to kill you." Mira's voice was tense. "We never would."
"But Celine-"
"I don't give a shit about anything Celine said." She took a deep breath, crouching down in front of her. Zoey followed her, crouching down beside her, leaving Rumi surrounded and with no way out. "You are our best friend and, demon or not, hunter or not, we will always love you. Nothing will make us stop doing it."
"But..." Her voice is shaky, weak. "But if you can love me when I am like this, why can't Celine?"
Celine had seen her born, raised her. If anyone could see her and love her despite being a demon, it would have to be her.
And yet...yet Celine didn't. She couldn't look into her eyes, or- or love her completely.
She wouldn't do it until the patterns disappeared. And even then, who promised that would happen?
Who promised her that the only mother she's ever had in her life would ever love her?
Nobody.
And perhaps that hurt more than any curse her blood carried.
"That's because she's an idiot." Mira grabbed her face. "Hear me now, Rumi, your patterns do not change or decide who you are, understood?"
"Y-yeah."
"Good." Mira hugged her, and instantly, Zoey joined in. "Now, please don't ever ask us to finish you off again."
"Or believe that we don't love you, because we do, and a lot."
"I-" A sob escaped her throat. "I promise."
"Good." Mira tightened her grip. "I think we should take a little break. Bobby and the fans will understand."
"But the Hunmoon-"
"It can wait. Nothing is more important than you, Rumi." Zoey squeezed her hand. "Now, how about we go eat? Deep conversations don't happen with an empty stomach!"
Rumi looks at Mira, waiting for a reaction. She just smiles, kissing her forehead, where a pattern is right there.
"We'll always be here for you, Rumi. No matter what."
Her eyes stung.
"O-okay."