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Remus was so far out of his depths it was laughable. He’s sure, if he were alone, he would be laughing at himself. He’s going on a date with Sirius. A real date.
If you had told 14 year old Remus that he would be about to go on a date with his best friend he’s secretly in love with, well he’s not sure he would have believed you. Sirius has been this unattainable dream for so long, he’s not quite sure how to act now. Which is stupid really, it’s just Sirius.
Sirius, who is his best friend.
Sirius, who he’s been in love with for as long as he’s understood what love is.
Sirius, who is standing next to him on the tube completely unaware of Remus’ spiralling thoughts.
There’s a part of Remus that still can’t believe this is real, that the universe is pulling some elaborate prank on him and Sirius will turn around with that signature smile of his, laugh and say got ya before leaving Remus alone.
He tightens his grip on Sirius’ hand, gives himself a second to scream internally about the fact that he gets to hold Sirius’ hand, and wills his thoughts to stay silent. This was real and he was here. Going on a date with Sirius.
“You okay?” Sirius asks, tilting his head slightly in a way that reminds Remus so much of a dog he can’t help but let out a little chuckle.
“Yeah, perfect. You?”
“I’m not the one with a death grip on your hand” Sirius is smiling as he says it.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I can just-“. Remus starts to try and pull his hand away.
“Don’t you dare”. Sirius tightens his grip even more, pulling their joined hands closer to him, almost protective of them.
Remus laughs at him, a giddy feeling erasing the last of his spiral.
Sirius is beautiful like this. His hair a bit messy from work and the walk and his cheeks a bit flushed. He’s staring up at Remus, eyes so full of love that Remus can’t help but press a small private kiss to his hairline.
“What was that for?” Sirius asks.
“Just because” Remus responds with a shrug and small smile.
“Okay weirdo”
Remus just grinned at him.
“How many more stops are we?”
“You have eyes” Remus says, readjusting his grip on the pole next to him.
“But that’s what you’re for” Sirius says, batting his eyelashes at Remus.
“You sure its not because you can’t see over people’s heads”
“No, definitely not” Sirius says, too defensive for Remus to believe him. “I can see shut up” He responds when Remus starts laughing at him.
“Uh huh” Remus says. “So tell me, if you can in fact see over people’s heads, how many more stops”
“Moony” Sirius whines.
“It’s two more” Remus answers with a sigh, feigning annoyance just to get a reaction.
“Thank you” He says, leaning up onto his tip toes to press a kiss to Remus’ cheek.
---
The record store was near on deserted when they entered, only the odd teenager shuffling through the stacks.
The second they walked through the door Sirius went up to the front, placing both elbows on the counter as he smiled at the tired woman in front of him.
“Hi my love” Sirius sighed.
“What do you want now” The woman sitting behind the counter responded.
“Is this how you treat customers” Sirius said, placing his hand on his chest in mock outrage.
Remus watched him from the 80’s section with a smile on his face. He caught the worker’s, Poppy’s, eyes and shared an exasperated eye roll with her.
Every time they came to the shop, their shop, Poppy was working behind the counter, and Sirius had made his mission in life to befriend the older woman. He was outraged when she had told him she preferred Remus, much to Remus’ delight.
The shop was an older corner unit stocked full of second hand donated vinyls and cd’s. They had stumbled upon it one of their first days at Gryffindor when walking back to Remus’ flat. It was perfectly halfway between their office and Remus’ building and only 5 tube stops away for when they’re feeling lazy.
Sirius’ eyes had lit up when he’d seen the sign and that had been it. They’ve been frequenting the store for 3 years now and his eyes have never stopped lighting up.
“This is how I treat you” The woman continued, ignoring the dramatic gasp from Sirius.
“Sorry Poppy” Remus says to the woman as he goes to retrieve Sirius from the front of the store.
“Don’t you worry, Remus dear” Poppy says, pulling out the paperwork with all the new intakes and sliding it to Sirius with a tired sigh.
“How’s it been today?” Remus asks once Sirius has been distracted by the new donations list.
“Quite busy this morning but it’s been dying down the last few hours” She says as she goes back to organising the stickers and badges tub.
“Oh, that’s good” Remus replies, taking a handful of stickers to organise too.
“Oh yes. We’re definitely not as worried about the store going under anymore, that’s for certain”
She had confided in the a few months ago that she was worried about the store after 4 months of low purchases and increased window shoppers. Remus and Sirius had stayed up all night trying to find solutions to help the store that had become a safe place for them.
“I told you those posters were a good idea” Sirius adds before wandering over to the 70s metal section of the store.
“Yes, you did, dear” Poppy calls after him. “Anything you fancy?”.
“Nah, it’s all country” Sirius says with a wave of his hand, “we’ll try again next week”.
“Of course you will” She mutters under her breath, just loud enough for her and Remus to hear.
The two work together in a comfortable silence for a moment.
“Did you find Mittens?” Remus asks, starting a pile of cat stickers.
“Oh yes! The daft cat was stuck in the understairs cupboard” Poppy exclaimed; frustration undercut with fondness.
“Oh god”
“My wife got home and could hear her scratching, nearly turned the place upside down trying to find her” She finished with a laugh.
“I’m just glad you found her”
“Oh, so are we, love. We’re still trying to work out how she got in there in the first place.”
The pair shared a laugh before being interrupted by a squeal.
“Moony!” Sirius shouts across the small store.
“What”
“Come here”
“No, I’m talking to Poppy,” Remus replies, just as Sirius begins to pout. He sighs, already knowing he doesn’t stand a chance at resisting. “Just a second.”
“That boy has you wrapped around his little finger you know”
“I know”
His love must be plain on his face as he watches Sirius study the back of whatever vinyl he’s picked up, completely lost in concentration. Beside him, Poppy glances over with a knowing smile and asks, “Is there something I should know about, Remus?”
He debates lying to her, telling him what he’s always told people, that no, Sirius is just his best friend, but Poppy has been his confidant before. She’s seen him have crisis after crisis over Sirius. She’s seen him pick out heartbreak albums whenever Sirius went out with other people, seen him get angry records when they’ve fought. This woman has seen most of the points in their relationship and heard about the rest of them through stories. He couldn’t lie to her now.
“This is a date”
“I thought the day would never come” she says as she throws her hands up in celebration.
“Poppy!” He exclaims, his cheeks burning red.
“I’m sorry, dear, but I’ve been watching you two for the past 3years,” Poppy says gently, as Remus buries his burning face in his hands. “I’m happy for you both, you make a wonderful pair.” She rests a warm, reassuring hand over his on the counter. “Now stop helping me. You’re supposed to be on a date,” she adds with a playful shoo, waving him away from the till.
Remus places the stickers back down with a bashful smile, waves goodbye to Poppy and goes to stand by Sirius, examining what he has in his hands.
“Look!” Sirius says as he shoves the vinyl in Remus’ face.
“Day at the races? You already own this Pads” Remus says, taking the record from his hands.
“No, I know but look at the year” Sirius responds, pointing at the back. “2009 baby” He continues, doing a little dance in place.
Remus watches with a smile, his heart burning. There was nothing that Remus loved more than Sirius being happy. “Still not an original press though”.
“Moony why you gotta kill my vibe” Sirius said, winding his arms through Remus’ bent one and hanging off.
Remus laughed at him. He’d never been so enamoured by someone in his entire life. There were parts of Sirius that fascinated him. Over a decade of knowing this boy, years of loving him and there has not been a single second that Sirius has bored him. He loved his mind, the way it worked and processed. Sirius was someone Remus wouldn’t mind sending the rest of his life studying.
“2009 was the whole remastered rerelease. This is special Moony I’m telling you. Yes, it’s not an original pressing but I can smell it, it’s getting closer” He says as he takes the vinyl out of Remus hands and tucks it under his arm, continuing to flick through the basket in front of him.
“You’d want Day at the Races over Night at the Opera? What about Bohemian Rhapsody?” Remus asks, knowing that Sirius loved that song.
When he first heard it, he cried. Remus was the one to recommend it to him, having just started his edgy old soul phase, which turned out to just be his personality. Sirius had sent him a video later that evening of him crying, cursing Remus for ever telling him to listen to the song in the first place. He listened to it nearly every day that year, Remus is sure.
He remembers the butterflies that he felt in his stomach every time he saw that Sirius was listening to it, the joy he felt knowing it was his suggestion ad that Sirius loved it.
Looking back that was probably the beginnings of his crush, the need for Sirius’ approval.
“Well, I mean I want them all, but I want this one most” Sirius says, breaking Remus from his reminiscing.
“Why?”
“It has Good-old Fashioned Lover Boy on it” Sirius responds with a shrug. “It reminds me of you”.
This was on of Remus’ suggestions he was there for the first listen of.
They were 14, drunk in James’s garden, all sat around on various pieces of furniture. James had begged his dad to borrow his speaker and had spent the first hour adding songs to a playlist they’d all like.
James and Pete were in their own conversation when it came on. By the end of the first verse, Sirius was slapping Remus’ arm and demanding to know what song was playing.
He played that song on repeat for the rest of the night, learning the words the best he could after 6 ciders and pulling Remus up to dance with him, unsteady on his feet but enthusiastic.
It had been the night that Remus has deciphered what the butterflies meant.
“I love you”
Sirius turned to him, surprise written on his face that Remus just had to kiss off. The first touch of their lips was so soft Remus thought he could melt. It was so warm and firm and everything Remus has ever wanted. It wasn’t their first kiss, far from it, but it was the first kiss of their first date. It was in public; in a place they loved. It was them declaring to the lonely teenagers and Poppy that they were each other’s.
As he pulled away, Sirius chased his lips, causing Remus to chuckle before kissing the tip of Sirius’ nose.
“Hi” Sirius said, still dazed.
“Hello” Remus responded, smile so wide it hurt. “Are you going to get that?”
“Yes” Sirius says, tucking the vinyl more securely under his arm. “But I want to look around a bit more before we go to the café if that’s okay”
“Of course it is Pads”
Sirius places a chaste kiss on Remus’ lips before bouncing away to the next section he wanted to look at.
Remus watched him go as his insides turned to mush. He spared one glance back to Poppy, who was watching the two of them with pride in her eyes. She winked at Remus and he winked back, going to join Sirius.
---
The walk back to Remus’ flat is bliss.
They had grabbed warm hot chocolates from the café to go, long since drunk and discarded.
They don’t talk because they don’t need to, both content with the comfortable silence.
The night air is cold against his hand, but he doesn’t feel it, too warm from where his fingers are intertwined with Sirius’.
Remus takes this time to appreciate Sirius. He truly is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. The way he holds himself, elegant yet confident. He doesn’t even know how to put into words all that Sirius is, how do you capture the beauty in someone so like a storm.
He’s not just beautiful in the way you’d describe a flower. It not only in the perfect angle of his jaw, or the brightness of his eyes. It isn’t confined to his easy smile or perfect hair.
It’s in the cervices of his being, his defiance against all his was raised to be. The scars he hides behind his clothes, his sharp words and boyish humour.
Sirius Black is beautiful the way the night is, dark and dangerous, yes, but beautiful. And if you take the time to look and learn, you can see the stars underneath.
Remus seriously considers taking a wrong turn as they get closer to his street, trying to prolong the night as much as possible.
“Would you judge me too harshly if I took a wrong turn” Remus jokes.
“Yes” Sirius replies, face straight as he stops and looks at Remus. “You can’t get enough of me can you”. He tucks a lose piece of hair back behind his ear, grinning up at Remus for a second before continuing to walk.
“Never” Remus pulls their joint hands for Sirius to catch back up, his shoulder bumps against Sirius’, causing them both to laugh.
“I wouldn’t judge you” He confesses quietly. “I don’t want this night to end” He releases his grip on Remus’ hand, instead wrapping both his arms around Remus’, hugging it close to himself.
“Neither do I”. Remus unwraps Sirius’ arms from around his, instead wrapping the arm around Sirius’ shoulder pulling the shorter man to rest comfortable against him as they continue walking, considerably slower than before. “But this night being over doesn’t mean the feeling is”
“You’re so smart Moony” Sirius says, blinking up at him from beneath his lashes.
“Shut up” Remus mumbles, cheeks going pink.
Sirius laughs at him, his arm going around Remus’ waist.
Remus leans down slightly, placing a small kiss to the top of Sirius’ head, revelling in the blush and small giggle it causes. He wants to bottle this feeling right here, this sense of peace and rightness of having Sirius under his arm like this, walking as a pair.
He doesn’t think he’s felt this comfortable or content with another person ever. Theres no performance to put on, no filter to watch out for. He can say what he pleases with no fear of judgement.
He supposes he’s always, in some ways, felt this level of comfort in being near Sirius, but removing the last barrier, last secret, has opened up a whole new level of understanding and Remus glows with it.
They reach Remus’ building too quickly for his liking.
“Well, I guess this is good night then” Sirius says, coming to a stop and moving to stand in front of Remus with a pout on his face.
“I am literally going to see you tomorrow at work, no need to pout” Remus responds, picking up Sirius’ hand again, unwilling to let go.
“I know but it’s not the same” Sirius stares at their joined hands.
“I know” Remus swings their joined hands. “I had a really nice time”
“Me too” Sirius says, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyes drop down to Remus lips.
Remus reaches out, his fingertips skimming the edge of Sirius’ jaw before cupping it fully. Sirius leaned into the touch, letting out a breath. They both leaned in and met in the middle. Lips against lips. Not rushed, not hungry. Just a slow and soft press of lips.
Sirius’ hand curled around Remus’ neck as he leaned more into it, their kiss becoming deeper, but no less tender.
They pulled apart, foreheads resting against each other, breath mingling between them.
“Goodnight Moony” Sirius whispered into the space between them.
“Goodnight Pads”