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(Zeus and Hera are chilling on their thrones on top of Mount Olympus.)
Zeus: You know, I really did not appreciate that jab about my infidelity back there.
Hera: It was groovy though, wasn’t it?
Zeus: (sighs) Sure.
Hera: Oh, would you look at that! Someone’s at the door!
(Poseidon walks into the throne room, completely soaked and blood seeping from his ribs and his head. He drags his trident behind him, which is also covered in blood.)
Zeus: Hey broth… Holy me, what happened to you?!
Poseidon: Shut up.
Hera: Hades! Are you…
Poseidon: Shut up.
(Hermes flies in, with his sunglasses and signature fur coat.)
Hermes: Darlings! Darlings! Sorry I’m a bit late! I had to… Oh Poseidon! How is Ody?
Poseidon: Don’t you speak another word.
Hermes: Oh, of course dawling! I know all I need to know. Anyway, I have to get to my coffee date with Aeolus. Those winions are just so adorable! Catch you all later! (Hermes flies away.)
Zeus: Well… I guess you can go to the infirmary with Athena. Apollo will probably riot about “better wages” but I…
(Poseidon walks into the infirmary and lays in a bed. Athena sits up in the bed next to him.)
Athena: Hello, uncle.
Poseidon: Great! My favorite person is here!
Athena: I would probably laugh if my own father hadn’t shot so many lightning bolts at me to the point where everyone thought I died. But I didn’t! I’m in quite a lot of pain, but I didn’t!
Poseidon: Can’t hear you over the stab wounds in my ribs.
(Ares walks in with Aphrodite strolling after him.)
Ares: Hey uncle, I saw that fight back there. I’ve got to say… yikes. But don’t worry, I won’t try to punish you for losing a war. I don’t want that trident to have my blood on it too. Ody really did make everyone bleed.
Aphrodite: And he actually got home before Penelope died of a broken heart. Though I probably wouldn’t even look at her. She’s not exactly the prettiest, at least not like her cousin.
(Hephaestus runs in, and Ares and Aphrodite run out.)
Hephaestus: Eh, I’ll catch them one day. Hey Poseidon! The strike of six hundred, that's got to really hurt! Though, not as much as Ares will hurt when I catch him. Alright, bye!
(Hephaestus runs away. Finally, Apollo walks in.)
Apollo: Okay, Athena, I have your ambrosia right here and… Oh my dad! Poseidon! What are you doing here?
Athena: From what I’ve gathered, I think he was stabbed by Odysseus.
Apollo: Ah, Ody. You know, I was the first one to say that he should be released!
Athena: I know. I asked you.
Apollo: I hope he didn’t kill any more of those sirens. I’m going to need new songs soon. Maybe I can make Ody musical himself!
Poseidon: Oh, he is.
Apollo: Oh, right, here Poseidon. Let me get you some medicine. (Apollo runs out.)
Athena: So, Odysseus made it home.
Poseidon: Yep. (turns to face her) You know, as much as I hate both you and Odysseus - and believe me, I want to see you both dead - you made a great warrior, Athena. One that will go down in history forever. And his dedication is something I’ve never seen before. You did good.
Athena: (confused) Thank you…
Poseidon: And if you ever see Odysseus again, tell him I want a rematch.