Chapter Text
Till breathed heavily as he finally reached the rooftop, catching up to Ivan. He seemed more energetic than usual, or so he thought. But, as soon as Till looked at the sky, his jaw dropped at the sight.
The sky was painted with orange hues, as meteors fell down to the ground. A meteor shower... Despite its chaotic look, there was some sort of warmth to it. Was it the more exclusive setting, since it was only him and Ivan there? Or was it just the simple sightseeing, looking at the warm hues of the meteorites painting the sky colors of orange, gold, etc? Or... was it something else?
What was usually an endless void of black emptiness, the light reflected onto Ivan's eyes, making them glimmer. Why Till could swim in those eyes for forever if only he was granted a diver’s permit… He had a soft expression on his face, one that Till only ever saw when it was just them two. Ivan's hair gently blew in the wind's flow, the serenity of it all being almost surreal…
No, Till thought. What would Urak think? What would the others at Anakt think? After all, he was supposed to be going against him, since they were fighting all the time, right? Till was a burning flame, a volcano waiting to erupt. Ivan was a ghost, haunting Till everywhere he went, someone who was selfishly selfless. Selfless to the point of being selfish enough to not consider the other's feelings when they self-sacrifice. Their personalities clashed in every way possible, so why was Till always catching himself getting drawn to this void-eyed freak?
Regardless, they were just outside of Anakt, the possibility of escaping at their mere fingertips. They could just run away right now if they wanted. Till's gaze shifted to the missing collar on Ivan's bare neck. His eyes widened.
"Ivan, how did you--"
"Need help?"
The collars were impossible to remove. No matter how much Till pulled, pushed, and struggled, the collar remained right on. A reminder that they were pets, just test subjects for the Segyeins. But, with some hand movement, the collar fell down with a clank. Till placed his hands on his neck, feeling the bare skin that's now exposed from the collar with astonishment.
"With both of our collars removed, we could run away right now if we wanted," Ivan excitedly suggested. "You and me! We wouldn't have to suffer at Anakt anymore."
Till hesitated. Mizi would still be down there, the match that sparked joy in him, the one that temporarily difused the ticking bomb that was his mind. And Mizi deserved freedom just as much as he did, if not, more. Ivan already predicted the answer, and let Till run to the stairs. Yet, just before going back down, Till stopped and looked back at the sky, thinking of the opportunities he would miss. What was originally sorrow, turned to surprise as Till took three steps forward. He could escape with Ivan right then and there. However, he could also back out as well. Just then, BOOM! Everything went black as time froze.
__________ __________ ___________ ______________ ___________________________
Till was not looking at the sky, but black emptiness, just as black as Ivan's eyes. Images then flashed through his head of what seemed like him and Ivan, but... Older? It was like he was looking at the future, like a psychic. wait- IS HE A PSYCHIC?! Questions raced inside his brain like Nascar, but he had to put them aside, since this could be related to his choices.
A tall figure was standing on a stage. His black hair was neatly kempt, his complexion almost as light as snow, and his eyes as black as the abyss. Till assumed it was Ivan, for the resemblance was the same as Ivan's in the present. He heard a voice.
"Allow me to the tips of your fingers, allow me to the ends of your feet.. Dissolve me in your gaze, I don't want to let you go.."
Another figure was standing, a figure that bore much resemblance to Till, so he assumed it was his future self. Wow, who knew future Till looked so depressed? Present Till was already considering the escape offer if he knew he was gonna end up like THAT.. Darkness clouded around future Till's eyes, his hair just as spiky as present Till's, just more lengthy. His face expressed tiredness and sorrow, but it was too hard to read. Till already felt pity for his future self, but at the same time... WOW. That's what his voice was gonna sound like?! At least he knew all that pressure was worth it. And at least his future self had a sense of style! On the stage, the Future Till wore all black, contrasting Ivan's all white suit. He wore a black shirt, the same collar that Ivan helped remove, black jeans, and some silver jewelry that styled the outfit.
"Please leave me scars, please hurt me so that not a drop of me remains, let me drown in you until these falling stars are buried in the blur of time, on your icy lips.. read my soul... Yes, my soul..."
What kind of lyrics were these? Till hated how sad and sorrowful they sounded, but sure did admire the melody that came with it. Sounded like something from some romance book that Ivan would quote, since he'd always follow Till around like he was some sort of magnet. The songs that others sung on stage were usually romantic, sometimes sad, but Till was taken aback by how gloomy the song was, and how gloomy the setting was in general.
After a while, it was Ivan's turn to sing his part of the song.
“Even if your cold words, carve scars between my eyes, may they linger on your tongue, you can break me apart… Notice my pain, and mend me right now, to quiet my fears I’ll drown in you, sick of these nights to come, to be engulfed in silence, in your gaze where I’m seen, consume me, yes, me, oh”
Till had to admit, Ivan’s future self was really good at singing as well. He could see the raw emotion in his voice as he sung.
“In this everlasting melody… Face to face we dance… With our story, lost in forever’s embrace”
Okay, this has got to be present Till’s favorite part. The switch between vocals, the harmony at the end was heaven to his ears.
“Until these falling stars are buried in the blur of time, on your icy lips, read my soul, yes my soul, sick of these nights to come, to be engulfed in silence, in your gaze where I’m seen, consume me, yes, me, oh”
Ivan put aside the mic and ran to Till, cupping Till’s face with his hands. And what present Till saw next made him shocked at the core.
In the heat of the moment(or so present Till assumed), Ivan pulled Till into a passionate(or so it seemed) kiss. Till was trying to push away, but Ivan continued nonetheless. Just when Ivan was finished and Till was gasping for air, he grasped at Till's neck, choking him to knock the scared boy out before getting shot. Unfortunately for Ivan, Till still had some conscience enough to witness the end of Ivan.
Ivan was gonna sacrifice himself just so Till could live some more...
What was originally a disgusted expression from the kiss, soon turned into a look of horror and sadness as he watched Ivan fall to the ground, watching Ivan's eyes getting more lifeless by the minute. As much as Till hated Ivan (Not really hate), he didn't want him to die! Despite how much he hated it, he did care a lot about the boy. Whenever Ivan was around him, there was a deep part of Till that actually enjoyed his company. That was why he never pushed him away immediately, at least..
The vision sped up to show another part of the future, later on.
Oh god, there can't be any worse, can there? Present Till thought. There was worse. His vision showed future Till, but even older, sitting alone in a bedroom. The room was dimly lit, there was old trash lying around on the floor, and an empty tissue box on his nightstand. A torn photo of Ivan right beside it, the tear cutting off his face. Day by day, Till forgets what he looks like, angry at himself for slowly starting to forget pieces of Ivan, mad at himself for not being there for him when he needed Till. Angry at himself for not returning all the affection that Ivan gave. Tears welled up inside future Till's eyes as he held the torn photo with shaky hands. He couldn't even remember what his face looked like. Day by day, his image was slowly fading away, and Till was scared. Alone, and scared. Despite being surrounded by rebels who share a lot in common with him, he still longs to see Ivan again, the guilt overcoming him like a Tsunami.
"So come inside and be with me, alone with me...
Alone, with me alone
If you would let me give you pinky promise kisses
Then I wouldn't have to scream your name
Atop of every roof in the city of my heart
If I could see you...
Once more to see you..."
The vision was gone. Time resumed again, as if Till didn't just witness the most depressing moments of his life. They could escape, live with the rebels, and come back to save everyone else. That was the plan Till had in mind. And, hopefully, Ivan thought the same. He looked at the stairs once more, and walked back to Ivan, their hands intertwined.
"Let's go," Till said, his eyes sharing the same determination as Ivan's.
"Really?!” Ivan didn’t actually expect him to say yes.
“Yes, really,” Till replied with a slight waver, a part of him doubting this decision.
“Y’know, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to..” Ivan assured, not wanting to force him into coming, since he knew Till wouldn’t want to leave behind Mizi.
“Do you want me to come or not?” Till blurted out impatiently.
“I- yes!” Ivan was startled by that question
“Then what are you waiting for? Let’s go!”
“thank you," the brunet sighed hugged Till tightly before enthusiastically dragging him with his free hand (the other was clutching a duffel bag) to where they were headed next.