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“No, no! I don’t wanna!! You can’t make me!”
Yang Jian blinked once calmly before slinging Wukong over his shoulders, ignoring the shouting and the squeaks and kicking of feet.
“Yes, I can. You’re going to do it. Now.”
He already made the appointment for Wukong’s wisdom teeth removal. It was TIME TO GET THEM TAKEN OUT.
Wukong had mistakenly thought Yang Jian wanted to yank out his previous canines and hissed when he heard “surgery” and “cutting out”.
Yang Jian patiently explained, “No, it’s not your canines. It’s those extra teeth in the back of your mouth. Why Nüwa decided to give you them, we don’t know but you need to get them taken out.”
When he had been eating food, he had been squealing in pain as he bit into lettuce and, even his previous peaches which made him extra cranky..
Yang Jian was getting sick of Wukong’s constant grumpy attitude because he couldn’t eat properly and his constant “backing out at the last minute to go see the doctor.”
He ignores the onlookers staring at them as Yang Jian puts Wukong onto the bed, (which had already been prepared just for Wukong), and straps him in. The doctors give him a nod, as if to say, “Great work, soldier. We respect you.”
Wukong wiggles and tries to break free. But it was no use.
The only thing he does is whimper as they wheel him to the room where they’ll give him anesthesia and a surgery.
“Don’t worry, Wukong. I’ll be right here the whole time.” Yang Jian pets his head gently.
“Yang Jian, why are you doing this to me? Do you hate me?”
Not that old trick again. Everytime Yang Jian makes Wukong do something even slightly unpleasant, Wukong immediately asks if he hates him. Sometimes with big old crocodile tears in his eyes too.
What a manipulative little monkey.
Sometimes it works, because he was just too darn convincing.
But not today. Those bulging teeth have GOT TO GO.
“Just try to relax, ok? I’ve got you. When we get home, I’ll prepare some miso soup for you to drink. I’ll help you recover, my dear.”
Wukong hesitantly nods and the doctors secretly “awww” at this precious sight of love.
When the anesthesia goes in, at first there’s no effect at all. Even though it was the special dosage for immortals, the anesthesia seemed to take slower to come into effect.
Wukong did have a really great tolerance for pain and poisons, including medicinal drugs.
Eventually, Wukong’s speech starts to become slurred and he starts to say a bunch of random things.
“You look pale.”
Yang Jian chuckles as Wukong stares at him, eyes glazed and half lidded, struggling to keep consciousness.
“Really?” He plays along.
Wukong nods.
“You’re really pretty. Are you a girl?”
Yang Jian laughs a bit at this.
“No. I’m a man. Just like you.”
Wukong tilts his head slightly. “But I thought I’mma monkey. Where’s my fur? Did I lose it?”
Yang Jian touches him slightly, lifting up his limp arm.
“See, your fur is right here.”
Wukong sees his own arm with fur as if it was the strangest thing he had ever seen. The doctors were struggling to contain their laughter.
“You’re a man? And I’m a monkey? But I feel like I know you. Are you secretly a monkey too?”
Yang Jian shakes his head.
“No. I’m not. But I do know you.”
Wukong’s nose scrunches up. “Are we family?”
Yang Jian nods. “Yes, we are.”
Unexpectedly, Wukong bursts into tears and starts wailing after he hears this. The doctors wondered if the anesthesia had some unexpected side effects or something.
As they scrambled to check on his vitals, Yang Jian goes over even closer and asks, “Wukong, what’s wrong?”
Wukong sniffles and replies with even more slurred speech, “I-I can’t marry you then. We’re related so I can’t marry you. But I really, really want to. This is unfair! Can I marry you anyways?”
Yang Jian wanted to laugh so hard his stomach would hurt. But he was nothing if not painfully capable of self control.
He does decide to have a little fun with this though.
“Wukong, I’m already married.”
Wukong squeals out even louder at this statement and bawls. The doctors found it both heartbreaking and absurdly hilarious.
“It’s not fair! I want marry you! I good for you! Promise!”
Yang Jian decides to mess around with him one last time, before revealing the truth.
“Wukong, why do you want to marry me?”
Wukong honestly says, “Cause you’re pretty.”
Yang Jian waited for him to continue, as Wukong’s fingers were held up as if counting down the reasons.
“You nice to me. Really nice. No one has ever been so nice to me. You touch so gentle. I like.”
“You warm. Your eyes so kind.”
“Your voice is soothing.”
“I want to kiss you when I see you…”
At last, Wukong dozed off from the drug and went under. The doctors notice and immediately start operating on him.
Yang Jian watches the procedure, with fondness in his eyes and tears threatening to come out.
***
“Are you an angel? Am I dead?”
Wukong was a bit better now that the anesthesia was wearing off. But he was still very much out of it. The doctors wheeled him out and Yang Jian carried him home bridal style, being extra gentle.
His fast healing meant he only needed the stuffing sin his mouth for about an hour before he stopped bleeding or swelling up. One of the perks to being an immortal.
“No. I’m the person who visited you before, remember?” He teases.
Wukong blinks slowly and the says, “I do. I still wanna marry you. Who is your wife? Imm better than her.”
Yang Jian chuckles. “I’m not so sure about that. My “wife” is pretty amazing.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Yes. The prettiest. With the most dazzling eyes.”
“Is she smart?”
“Yes, even smarter than me sometimes. But you can’t tell him.”
“Is he good to you?”
Yang Jian sets Wukong down on the bed gently and tucks him under.
“Very. I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“I can be better! I promise! Break up with him!”
Yang Jian shakes his head.
“I’ll never break up with him. I can’t. I love him too much.”
Wukong’s lips start to wobble as he begins to cry again.
“B-but….I’m better than him. I promise.”
Yang Jian decides to be “merciful” and kisses Wukong’s slightly swollen lips softly.
“Ok, I’ll break up with “her.” I’ll be with you.”
Wukong smiles wide, a sort of woozy smile. He looked a bit silly as he laughed with joy.
“Mine. Angel is mine. Not anyone else!”
Yang Jian nods and laughs again as Wukong goes to sleep.
This was going to be so fun to tease him about once he wakes up.