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“You should have a crush on Bucky!” Yelena exclaimed. Bob’s eyes widened in panic as he whipped his head around to see who could have overheard her. They were thankfully alone.
“I don’t have a crush on Bucky,” Bob hissed at her, shifting uncomfortably on the floor where Yelena had banished him—apparently to protect the couch.
“I know you don’t have a crush on Bucky,” she told him, gesturing a bit widely with the black nail polish. “I’m saying you should have a crush on him.”
“But…I don’t.”
“Sure, now,” Yelena said as she grabbed his foot. “You want black or red?”
“Black,” he answered automatically. His foot twitched slightly as she moved it.
“Be still! I’m crafting your tragic but sexy aesthetic” Yelena rebuked him, repositioning his foot.
“It’s nail polish not a miracle serum.”
“Oh and we know how well miracle serums work, don’t we?” Yelena raised her eyebrows at him. Bob fell into a slightly moody silence.
“You should decide to have a crush on Bucky! Then you will have a crush on Bucky and it will be perfect.”
“That’s not how crushes work, Yelena,” Bob told her as she began to paint his toe nails.
She waved her hand dramatically through the air. “Of course it is. You pick someone and you have a crush on them. And Bucky is perfect for you!”
“Why?” Bob asked, baffled.
“You have daddy issues!” Yelena proclaimed. “He’s old enough to be your daddy. It’s perfect.”
Bob turned red. “Okay, but like, that’s still not how crushes work.”
“It is!”
“I mean, generally you’re attracted to them first,” Bob pointed out.
“I guess so. But like, who isn’t attractive in their own way.”
“Are you saying you’re attracted to everyone?”
“Of course,” she said with a shrug. “Aren’t you?”
“No.”
“Oh,” Yelena shook her head and went back to painting Bob’s toe nails. “So you’re not attracted to Bucky?”
“I mean he’s very attractive,” Bob said, conciliatory.
“Yes, exactly, he’s a super soldier and the metal arm,” Yelena rolled her eyes a bit. “So attractive.”
“Yelena, do you have a crush on Bucky?” Bob asked.
“I mean if you’re not going to then I might as well,” Yelena told him.
“Did I hear my name?” Bucky asked, sticking his head in the common area.
“Bob and I are having a sleepover.” Yelena announced. Then quietly she hissed to Bob. “You cannot tell him that I have a crush on him. I would be so embarrassed.”
Bob stared at her. He had a feeling she wouldn’t be embarrassed at all. Her tone was far too casual, not the whispery panic of someone harboring a secret crush.
“And you’re talking about me?” he asked, looking amused as he leaned over the couch.
Yelena looked at Bob with wide eyes. He supposed he was supposed to talk now.
“Uh, yeah, that’s what you do at sleepovers. Gossip?” Bob looked up at Bucky with wide eyes, silently begging for an extraction team. He didn’t know how to climb out of the Yelena-shaped hole he was currently buried in.
Bucky looked at them like they were about to cook and eat him. Which, because he was Bucky, translated to mild confusion and nothing else.
“I didn’t get to go to any sleepovers before we left Ohio. The Red Room was kind of like a sleepover except it wasn’t at all. So Bob agreed to help me have a sleepover.” Yelena gripped Bob’s foot tighter as she continued to paint his toes.
“Bob says he’s not attracted to everyone. Are you attracted to everyone, Bucky?” Yelena asked in a tone Bob guessed was supposed to be casual.
Bucky looked at Yelena and then at Bob. Bob knew Bucky had to be able to see how red he was getting. Also the fact that they were talking about attraction and he had heard Bob say his name.
Bucky straightened up and turned in the opposite direction and began walking.
“Have a good sleepover.”
Bob turned and stared at Yelena. She seemed oblivious to the fact that he was now embarrassed.
“Oh! After this we should prank call my friend, Kate Bishop!” Yelena exclaimed. “I wonder if she has a crush on anyone. I think it’s probably me.”
Bob was exhausted but he just leaned back against the couch and nodded his head. Fighting with Yelena was impossible. He didn’t know how he had done it as Sentry.
“Did you get started without me?” Ava called out as she carried in a giant bowl of popcorn. Ava phased through the couch then went solid again to sit on it. She held the popcorn out to Bob who gratefully took a handful.
“Just painting Bob’s toenails,” Yelena told her with a smile. “And talking about crushes.”
“Oooh, who does Bob have a crush on?” Ava asked, excitedly.
“Not Bucky,” Yelena said with finality. “And you can’t either because I called him.”
“Yelena! You can’t call Bucky! That only leaves me with Walker or your dad! And Walker’s the worst!”
“You can’t have a crush on my dad!” Yelena exclaimed, wielding the nail polish as a weapon.
Bob grabbed another handful of popcorn just glad he wasn’t the current focus of conversation.
“I don’t have a crush on you dad!”
“Good. Because that would be weird. You can have a crush on…Val!”
Bob and Ava both looked at Yelena like she was insane.
“Hate-crushes are totally a thing,” Yelena explained with a shrug. “You can have a hate-crush on Val.”
Ava gave Yelena a look and shook her head. “She gives off ‘I want your puppies for my winter wear project’ vibes.”
“She’s fashion forward!” Yelena exclaimed triumphantly.
“I refuse to have a crush on Val.”
“Fine,” Yelena said with a sigh. “I’ll share Bucky.”
“Fine,” Ava agreed with a grumpy nod. Her eyes then turned to Bob and he felt a cold sweat go down his back.
“Finished painting your toenails, Bob! Don’t go anywhere or you’ll smudge them” she said cheerfully. Meaning he was effectively trapped here.
“So, Bob, who do you have a crush on?” Ava asked. “We’ve admitted ours. Your turn.”
Bob was beginning to squirm.
“No moving! Your toenails!” Yelena exclaimed. Both women were staring into his soul.
Bob rooted around in his brain for the most benign name he could think of. “Uh, Steve?”
“Steve?” Yelena asked. “Like Captain America?”
Oh shit, why couldn’t Bob remember all the superhero names? He didn’t even know anyone actually named Steve.
“Isn’t he, like, really old?” Yelena pondered. “Or dead? I don’t remember which.”
“I heard he was on the moon,” Ava offered, taking a handful of popcorn.
“Not Captain America,” Bob protested. “A different Steve.”
“I think Bob has a crush on someone else and isn’t telling.” Ava’s tone was full of delight and mischief.
“Hold on!” Yelena cried scrambling for her phone. A couple of seconds later and it was ringing. “We have to Facetime Kate Bishop.”
“Yelena?” A pretty brunette with a ponytail popped on screen. She definitely seemed to be running.
“Kate Bishop!” Yelena shoved the phone in Bob’s face. “This is Bob.”
She turned the screen toward Ava. “And this is Ava. They’re my friends. We’re having a sleepover.”
“You didn’t invite me?” The woman’s voice sounded a bit hurt.
Yelena laughed, obviously delighted. “Did you want to be invited, Kate Bishop?”
“No!” Kate paused and then said with more conviction. “No.” The screen tilted and seemed to be pointed upwards. Bob could see buildings extending up into the sky.
“What are you doing, Kate Bishop? Why are you running?”
“Hold on!” Bob could hear a scuffle then a small explosion. Both Yelena and Ava tensed as if ready to fly into action. Ava pulled out a tablet and looked like she was going to start tracking the cell signal. Yelena had moved to the balls of her feet.
Kate returned to the screen, looking slightly disheveled but no longer running. “I was chasing down some mob guys. You know, I’m not on a fancy team or anything but I’m still a hero too.”
“Did you get them?” Yelena asked still looking like she was ready to blast off to the rescue.
“Of course I got them,” Kate said, sounding offended.
“Oh, sorry, Kate Bishop. Sorry, sorry,” Yelena rolled her eyes slightly.
“You don’t sound very sorry,” Kate said, giving a mini death glare through the screen.
“So, Kate Bishop, my friend Bob,” Yelena turned the phone towards Bob then back to herself, “won’t tell us who he has a crush on. He’s trying to keep it a secret.”
Bob let his head fall back onto the seat of the couch. That only gave him an upside down view of Ava who had crossed her legs on the couch and was smirking down at him. Bob wasn’t sure if she was playing along with Yelena or if she was just as insane as the former Widow.
“So who do you have a crush on, Kate Bishop?”
“What?” Kate asked with wide eyes. She paused and shook her head. “You know, if you’re going to ask me invasive questions and not invite me to your sleepover, you could at least just call me Kate.”
“If I invite you to my sleepover, can I keep calling you Kate Bishop?” Yelena negotiated.
There was a long pause then a sigh. “Yes.”
“Great! Bring us pizza, Kate Bishop!”
Bob was impressed that Kate showed up in less than twenty minutes with three large pizzas.
“Kate Bishop!” Yelena exclaimed, as if the tower’s very loud security system hadn’t just announced her arrival. “You got here quick!”
“Lucky for you, I tracked the guy down just outside the pizza place five blocks from here. They were so impressed they gave me these with a 25% discount,” Kate said. Bob could tell she was trying to sound calm but was giddy on the inside. “Nice tower.”
“Yeah, Val calls it the Watchtower but everyone pretty much still calls it Avenger’s Tower,” Yelena told her with a shrug. Bob got to his feet and took the pizza boxes from her. He wasn’t sure yet if she was going to be an ally or just another addition to his chaos.
“So, Kate Bishop,” Yelena said, smiling at her. “What sleepover traditions do you have?”
“Uh…” Kate seemed to be actually pondering the question and Bob was leaning towards adding her to the chaos goblin category. “Truth or dare?”
Yep. Chaos Goblin.
Yelena’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Truth or dare!”
Bob snatched up a piece of pizza. That would give him at least thirty seconds before anyone could reasonably expect him to speak.
“Okay!” Kate said with a smirk of her own. “Truth or dare, Yelena?”
“Wait, me? Oh.” Yelena seemed thrown off for a second, then lit up as she contemplated the situation. “Dare!”
“I dare you to make a Sam Wilson fan video and put it on your Instagram story. No deleting!” Kate suggested. Bob was once again relieved that he was not the center of the chaos.
“Ugh, he doesn’t even like us,” Yelena complained even as she pulled out her phone. Bob knew the only social media Yelena used was the ones that Val had made the team set up for PR. All of the official team members (not Bob) were required to post three times a week. It was mostly workout videos, tower tours, meet and greets and light hero work. Alexei and Yelena posted more frequently, each one more chaotic than the last.
“Hey, it’s your girl, Yelena! Coming to you live from the Watchtower. I just want to say that I really respect Sam Wilson. He’s an amazing Captain America. Did you see him swoop in and save that kitten out of a tree last week? So heroic.” She signed off and closed her phone.
“Oh yeah,” Kate said dryly. “Totally sincere.”
Yelena waved her off. “Bob, truth or dare?”
Yelena’s face was a mask of glee. Bob knew that if he claimed truth then she was just going to keep on the crush angle but a dare was likely to be moderately to massively embarrassing.
“...dare,” he said swallowing the bite of pizza.
Yelena opened her mouth but before she could say anything, Ava jumped in. “I dare you to get a shirtless picture of Walker!”
Bob whipped around on her. She had been so quiet for so long he hadn’t thought she was going to be the enemy of his ego. Yelena cackled with laughter. She didn’t seem at all bothered that Ava had stolen her chance to dare Bob. Instead she seemed delighted.
“I…uh, what?”
“And it has to be a new photo, not one of those workout things that the PR team posts.”
Bob’s brain could only play the dial-up tone as it tried to connect.
“Come on, Bob,” Yelena said with a giggle. “You chose dare.”
Bob got to his feet like a man walking to his own execution and picked up his phone.
“He was going downstairs to work out when I popped the popcorn,” Ava offered, oh-so-helpfully.
“We’re going with, right? We have to make sure it’s new,” Kate offered, climbing to her feet.
Bob glared at her.
“You’re new!” he exclaimed. “How are you as bad as them?”
Kate just shrugged and smiled shyly. It would have been endearing if this was all happening to someone else.
“If we all go traipsing down there together, he’ll know something is up,” Bob pointed out.
“You’re right,” Yelena said with a solemn nod. “That’s why we have video feeds and comms!”
Five minutes later Bob was outfitted with a commlink and his phone, standing outside the gym. This…this was going to hurt. He glanced in to the gym and saw Walker working out in the middle of the room. Bob was pretty sure those were bicep curls.
“He’s got his shirt on,” Bob hissed into the comms.
“You’re just going to have to get it off him, Bob,” Ava said, with a calm even tone.
Bob groaned. Then his eyes lit on the thermostat. Slowly Bob eased the door open and snuck over to it. He slowly raised the temperature and switched it to heat.
“Excellent thinking, Bob!” Kate’s voice sounded cheerily in his ear.
“You're still on my shit list,” he muttered to her.
“Sorry can’t really hear you over that yacht rock that Walker’s blasting,” Kate said.
“Your stealth skills could use some work,” Ava added.
“Says the woman who just phases out of existence when she wants to sneak around.” Bob said.
“Who’s there?” Walker’s voice called out.
A chorus of giggles echoed in his ear.
“What are you going to do, Bob? Stealth or full frontal assault?” Another round of giggles followed Yelena’s use of the words full frontal.
“Hello?”
“He’s headed your way, Bob,” Kate offered.
Bob straighted up and saw a somewhat sweaty looking Walker. Walker blinked looking a bit surprised.
“Bob? You don’t usually come to the gym.” Walker was already suspicious. This was not going well.
“Hey, Walker, I thought maybe I should try working out.”
“Why?” Walker frowned. “Aren’t you just naturally strong?”
“Tell him you want definition!” Ava yelled in his ear.
“I was thinking maybe I should get some…definition,” Bob said. He felt like his head was exploding.
“Okay,” Walker said, eyeing him suspiciously. “Well, have fun.” Walker turned to go.
“Ask for his help!” Yelena said in his ear.
“He can spot you!” Kate added.
“Walker,” Bob said, reluctantly. “You’re the expert, think you can help me?”
“Oh, sure, I can spot you?” Walker offered.
“Yes!” Kate crowed.
“No! No!” Bob said a bit too quickly.
“Oh…okay,” Walker watched him closely.
“I’ve got you, Bob,” Ava said. The background chatter died down and Bob could only assume she was shushing them. “Tell him you want to mirror his technique. He’ll get competitive with it. He’ll get hot. That shirt will come off.”
“I thought I could mirror your technique?”
Walker shrugged. “Alright. What were you thinking?”
“Shoulders!” Kate yelled. “The shirt gets in the way.”
“No, no, it’s battle ropes!” Yelena said. “Everyone takes their shirt off for battle ropes!”
“That’s just you, Yelena,” Ava broke in. “Bench press. He’ll be flexing his chest.”
Bob looked around wildly like the answer might be written on the walls.
“Pull-ups,” he said with a slight nod.
There was a pause on the comms.
“Oh. Yeah,” Kate said with warm approval. “His shirt will ride up.”
Bob caught himself licking his lips as he followed Walker to the pull up bar.
“So it’s not really complicated,” he said as he gestured to the equipment. “You grip here.” He pointed at a bar then reached up, the hem of his tshirt rode up. “Then you kind of jump up and start pulling yourself up.” Walker followed his instructions.
His shirt rode up, revealing a sliver of his stomach. Stealthily, Bob slipped his phone out of his pocket and prepared to snap a picture.
“That doesn’t count,” Yelena warned. “It has to be full shirtless.”
Bob snapped the picture anyway. The camera sound went off. In a panic Bob shoved his phone in his pocket.
“What was that?” Bob asked as Walker dropped to the ground and looked around.
“You heard it too?” Walker looked around as well and then shrugged his shoulders. “Weird. Your turn, Bob.”
“Good save, Bob,” Ava said but Bob barely heard her over the panic that he had actually agreed to workout.
“Bob?” Walker said his name. “It’s easy. Grab up here.”
Bob sighed and followed Walker’s instructions. He dangled there for a second, realizing how close Walker was to him. Then he began pulling himself up. Oddly it wasn’t as tough as he had thought it would be. He did a few pull ups then dropped to the ground.
“That wasn’t too difficult,” he said to Walker.
“Well, I generally like to do like twenty reps most days,” Walker said, seeming to bristle slightly.
“Oh, well, then, let’s do that,” Bob suggested lightly.
Walker huffed slightly and reached up to the bar. He pulled himself up and began ratcheting off the pull ups. Bob found himself slightly mesmerized by the motion of the exercise.
“Wow,” Kate breathed into the comms echoing how Bob was feeling.
“Yeah,” Yelena agreed.
“It’s getting warm in here,” Bob managed to say as Walker hit the floor again.
Walker shrugged. “I guess so. It's your turn, Bobby!”
Bob took a deep breath and pulled his t-shirt up over his head.
“Oh,” Kate said softly.
“Yeah, I forgot about that,” Ava said. Bob wanted so badly to ask what they were talking about.
“Stop looking at Bob’s abs,” Yelena chided. “We all know they’re beautiful but Bob is gay.”
“Sorry, Bob,” Kate said, sounding chastised.
“I refuse to apologize,” Ava said. “I’m allowed to enjoy art when I see it.”
Bob tried to ignore them as he turned beet red and grasped the bar.
“Bob, I need you to do these one-handed then switch to the other hand and do twenty more.” Yelena’s instructions made Bob want to groan but he resisted. He must have made a face because Walker smirked at him.
“Don’t wear yourself out, man,” Walker said. “It’s your first time. We can take it gently.”
Bob had a completely different urge to groan at those words. He was grateful that the peanut gallery seemed to have missed that or been struck silent by the sheer audacity of it. With determination, Bob adjusted his grip and began doing one-handed pull ups. It was strangely easy but he supposed that was because of his Sentry Project changes more than anything. He switched hands smoothly, repeated it and landed on the ground.
Walker was glaring at him.
Uh oh.
Walker didn’t comment. He did whip off his shirt though and toss it towards the corner. Jackpot. Walker walked over to the pull up bar and reached up with one hand and began copying Bob’s one handed pull ups. Bob lifted his phone, checked to make sure the sound was off and snapped a picture of Walker on the pull up bar.
“Abs, Bob. We need abs,” Yelena insisted. Bob sighed. He just had to wait for Walker to get off the bar. He’d turn back and Bob could snap a quick picture. Then run. Flee. Like a coward. Bob took a few deep breaths. Walker finished his reps then his feet hit the ground, Bob whipped up his phone.
“What are you doing?” Walker asked and before Bob could run, he snatched Bob’s phone out of his hand.
Bob was dying. That’s what he was doing.
“Pictures?” Walker scrolled through Bob’s camera roll like he owned it. Bob wondered if his Sentry powers included spontaneous combustion and if so how quickly he could access those powers. “You’re taking pictures of me?”
Walker sucked in a breath then gave Bob a smirk that made him want to kick Walker and kiss him both at the same time.
“Bobby,” he said in a low teasing voice. He was laughing a bit as he went back to the camera and turned it on selfie mode. He took a couple of pictures of himself. One where he had a moody serious look on his face. Then one where he was winking. In the last one Walker hooked his thumb into the waistband of his shorts and pulled them down into almost dangerous territory.
The peanut gallery was blessedly silent throughout.
Then Walker tossed the phone back to Bob, he caught it without looking because he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Walker.
“Next time, just ask,” Walker told him, moving closer to him. His voice pitched low. “The lighting is better in my room.” Walker shoulder checked Bob as he headed towards the door. Bob’s mouth opened. Nothing came out. That was probably for the best.
“I may have a crush on Walker,” Kate breathed into the comms.
“Dibs,” Bob said quickly.
Walker stepped out of the gym, and he couldn’t stop the cocky smile spreading across his lips. Walkter let himself look back at Bob, still dazed, staring at the far wall like it held the answers to life. He reached up and touched the comm at his ear.
“Beautifully played, ladies,” Walker said, still smirking.
“You weren’t bad yourself, Walker,” Ava said. He could hear her munching on popcorn even from here.
“I still say if you hurt him I will kill you,” Yelena growled at him.
“Hey, does this make us Walker’s Angels?” Kate asked with genuine enthusiasm.
“I’m really hoping this was a one and done situation,” Walker said, turning away from the gym.
“Say thank you, Walker!” Yelena demanded.
“Have a good night ladies,” he replied, pulling the comm out of his ear and dropping it to the floor. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and began thumbing through his selfies. He headed towards the elevator and tagged his three best to send to Bob. He smirked as he hit send.
Let me know if you need any more. Or want to check out the lighting options.
The elevator doors started to close as down the hall, Bob opened the gym door, staring at his phone. He looked up and caught Walker’s eyes. Walker smirked and gave him a little wave.
Bucky heard the door click shut and the soft sound of Yelena’s footsteps across the room. The feel of her sliding into bed behind him made him smile. She draped an arm around his waist.
“How did Operation Sleepover go? Were you successful?” He asked as she propped her chin on his shoulder.
“Oh, yes, they’ll be dating by the end of the week and I got pictures of both of them without their shirts on.”
“What?” Bucky asked, lifting his head to give her a look.
“I refuse to apologize. I am allowed to enjoy art when I see it.”
“You’re the devil,” Bucky teased her, rolling into his side and wrapping his arm around her, tucking her up against him.
“Your favorite devil,” Yelena said as she snuggled up to his chest.
Bucky just laughed and shook his head.
“Oh and Ava has a crush on you.”