Chapter Text
“Dazai, are you sure that this is a good idea?” Atsushi asked, the skepticism clear on his face.
“Oh Atsushi, don’t you trust me?”
“No, not really.” Atsushi deadpanned.
Dazai shrugged, “Ouch, but fair enough. Anyways, yes, I think that a three night river trip would be a great way to strengthen our alliance with the port mafia, prove our truce with the guild, and find out about the DOA’s plans.”
Atsushi sighed, “You realize that none of them will agree to this, right? Who would want to spend three nights and four days on a river in the middle of nowhere,” He waved his hands animatedly at this, “with organizations that have tried to kill them?”
“No one! But they’re coming anyway. For Mori, it’s sort of a power struggle. Refusing this trip would be admitting that we scare him.” Dazai explained patiently, “Poe and Louisa are best friends now, They probably bonded over the fact that they’re both losers. Poe trusts us, and Louisa trusts Poe. Since she leads the guild now, she decided that they would come. Plus, she used her ability to create a plan in case we double cross her.”
“Okay, but what about the Decay Of Angels? There's no way that they would-”
“Dostoevsky and I have an agreement.” Dazai interrupted, “We all go on a trip together like the civilized people that we are, and we try to learn about each other’s plans.”
“We have plans?”
Dazai pretended to think, “Well, we have a plan to go on a river trip with all of our rival organizations! Anything else, I can’t tell you in case you accidentally spill the beans.”
“What? You don’t have to worry, because I’m not going on that trip!”
“Atsushi!” Dazai pleaded, dragging out the i.
“No! It’s way too risky, and we’ll probably all die!”
“You can bring Lucy, she’ll protect you….” Dazai teased, knowing that Atsushi had a bit of a crush on her. The white haired boy was also obviously interested in Akutagawa, but Dazai knew that he was less likely to admit that.
Atsushi’s face turned bright red, “I don’t know what you’re implying, but I won’t put Lucy in that kind of danger either! Or you, for that matter! Or any of the agency! This trip isn’t happening. I-I won't let it!”
“I’m afraid that you’ll have to.” Said Fukuzawa, who had suddenly entered the room, “It’s crucial to defeat the Decay. We’ll only send about five agency members, and we’ll have the remaining people monitor the whole thing. I believe that Dazai wouldn’t put us in any danger.”
Atsushi slouched defeatedly, “You have way too much faith in him..” He mumbled, “Okay then, president. Who are you sending?”
Fukuzawa smiled gratefully, “Dazai, Yosano, Kunikida, Ranpo, and you. Montgomery also agreed to come.”
“Wait- ME??” Atsushi screeched, “And do you mean to say that Lucy got roped into this too?”
Fukuzawa shook his head, “She wanted to help, and came willingly.”
“I…. well alright. This whole thing seems unnecessary, but I’ll do it.”
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And that’s how Atsushi ended up spending his Friday in a parking lot by the Aki River with Dazai, Yosano, Kunikida, Ranpo and Lucy, all waiting for the other organizations to show up.
“I can’t believe this….” Atsushi muttered.
Yosano gave him a sympathetic look, “Yeah, you and me both. But I more or less trust Dazai’s judgement.”
“I guess that I do too, but seriously, I think he’s finally lost it.”
“Oh honey, he lost it a long time ago.” She exhaled.
Just then, a black van pulled up, opening a door to reveal five fully armed members of the mafia, Higuchi, Chuuya, Gin, Akutagawa, and Kouyou.
“What the fuck?” Yosano said, loudly enough for Kouyou to notice her presence and give her a quick smile. Yosano’s expression visibly softened after that.
“What the fuck yourselves! Where are your weapons?” Chuuya gawked.
“Umm, in our drybags? Don’t wanna get them wet and we hopefully won’t even have to use them.” Lucy stated.
Higuchi looked confused, “So…. this river trip isn’t part of your plan to take down the mafia and break our alliance?”
“Dazai, I told you they would think that!” Kunidida yelled, beginning to choke Dazai.
“Kunikida, stop doing that, he looks like he’s enjoying himself a little too much.” Ranpo said, “And no, we don’t want to attack the Mafia. When’s Ed getting here? I’m bored!”
As if on cue, one small car parked right next to the van. Out of the car came Louisa, Steinback, Lovecraft, and Poe. They all stood still once out of the car, wearily analyzing the other two organizations.
“Ed!”
Poe’s face turned from worried to relieved when he heard Ranpo call his name, “Ranpo! Oh thank goodness, I fear that this trip won’t be such a success after all-” He was promptly cut off as Ranpo waltzed confidently over and planted a kiss on his cheek.
“Quit talking! Now I’m even more bored!” the detective complained. Poor Poe looked so red that Atsushi thought he might pass out.
“R-right. Okay.”
It had been all cheesyness and disgusting romcom type stuff since those two had started officially dating, but Atsushi honestly thought it was cute. If he could have that kind of relationship with Lucy, he would be happy. He knew that she liked him too, but he also knew that Louisa had been in love with her for far longer than he had. And plus…. Akutagawa…. Well, nevermind that. For now, he had a question for Dazai.
“Are the Decay Of Angels not coming?” He asked hopefully. He really didn’t want them to, if that wasn’t clear enough.
“Here they are…. Just in time.” Dazai’s expression darkened as a helicopter descended from the sky, whipping the air around them into storm-like movements. After what seemed like forever, it landed and the DOA hopped out. “Gogol always did like making an entrance…. I guess he must be behind the helicopter idea.” Dazai decided.
“Actually, that was me. I thought it would be symbolic.” Came a thick russian accent.
“Ohh but I truly do wish that it had been me!” Sighed Nikolai, draping his arm across Fyodor’s shoulder, “Although if I had been in charge of the planning, there would be a lot more glitter.” He stated dramatically.
His comment received no laughter, only suspicious stares from the ADA, Guild, and Port Mafia.
“Are you all still mad about the terrorism thing?” Gogol asked innocently.
Sigma facepalmed.
“Maybe a little.” Dazai said humorlessly. “Okay everyone, there’s four rafts by the river. One for each organization. Now, I trust that you all packed your drybags?”
Most people were surprised with how quickly he acknowledged the DOA, but they all nodded.
“Great then! Strap all of your stuff to the raft you choose!”
The next hour was spent setting up their stuff and getting ready to begin the trip. The ADA was the first to be ready, with Kunikida’s helpful and slightly commanding hand. They also had the most people.
Next was the Port Mafia, with Chuuya’s gravity manipulation being a huge help, and Kouyou’s Golden Demon who served as an extra person.
After a bit longer came the guild, who continuously messed up despite the fact that Louisa was quite literally reading instructions from a river trip guide book. Eventually she gave up and set up the raft pretty much on her own. Poe was horrified, and apologized over and over again, but Lousia assured him that it was fine and that she actually preferred to do it by herself.
The Decay Of Angels wasn’t doing well at all. Sigma was the only one actually doing anything, and whenever he finally got a bag strapped onto the raft, Nikolai would unstrap it and giggle. Soon, Sigma stormed off in rage. At one point, Nikolai decided to just pile everything into the raft without strapping it in at all, which would surely backfire later. Once Fyodor had convinced Sigma to come back, (They needed him to row the boat) everyone set off.
It was a sunny day for now, and the trip seemed like it was going to go well. Everyone was afraid of the other groups shooting them at any second, (besides Bram, who was sleeping.) but other than that it was okay. On the ADA raft, Kunikida was rowing, and Atsushi was sitting in the back with Lucy, making sure that none of the bags fell in the water. Yosano was the designated copilot in case Kunikida got tired or something happened and she needed to take the oars, and Dazai was on the front of the raft being useless. “What’re you thinking, Dazai?” Atsushi asked.
“Just thinking about what a beautiful place this would be to drown! The only thing missing is a beautiful woman to drown with…. Oh well, I guess I’ll settle for Chuuya. That was a joke, by the way Atsushi, stop looking at me like that. I’m not gay.”
On the topic of Chuuya, he was “Rowing” The PM raft using gravity manipulation. Kouyou was sitting on the side of the raft, holding an umbrella over herself to prevent sunburn. Akutagawa was also under the umbrella with her, because he’s so pale that he looks more like a vampire than Bram does. Higuchi and Gin were doing the same thing that Atsushi and Lucy were and making sure bags didn’t fall in the water.
On the guild Raft, Louisa and Steinbeck were taking turns rowing the boat while Lovecraft swam in the water beside them and Poe reapplied sunscreen for the third time in one hour, because he was also incredibly pale.
On the Decay Of Angels raft, Sigma rowed, Bram slept, Fyodor sat on the side of the raft with his hands neatly folded, and Nikolai was perched at the very front of the raft with his feet dangling in the water. He would fall in soon, without a doubt.
After a bit of uncoordinated rowing, they got to where Dazai Declared was their campsite. It was a large, flat, sandy beach. Everyone unloaded their rafts and set up camp.
The ADA was on camp duty, which meant setting up the campsite and unloading the rafts and such. The Guild was on kitchen duty, meaning that they would cook all of the meals when it was time. The port mafia was still highly suspicious that this was an attack, and didn't do anything. And the DOA was on groover duty. The groover was a small metal toilet that was going to be where everyone did their business for the whole trip, and the DOA got to set it up and pack it away the next day…. Yippee…. Fyodor refused to help, Bram was still asleep, and Nikolai ran off into the woods singing Hamilton music the second they got to land, so once again, Sigma was on his own.
When it was finally time to sleep, no one except Bram and Lovecraft actually did so. Most were scared of an attack from the DOA in the middle of the night.
Each organization had a tarp with some sleeping bags, but since no one was sleeping, they weren’t in use.
Dazai glanced around. Okay, so day one had been a failure so far. No worries! There’s always tomorrow! (If no one died by then.)