Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Echoes of a Year Ago
Keith stared at the piles of paper on his small office in the spaceship and groaned - annoyed at all the work that had to be done. Especially all the paperwork. He loved working for the blade and helping people all across the universe but he hated all the paperwork that came with it. It was very frustrating.
He was grateful he refused the leadership role he was offered. It would just be more work and steer him away from what was actually important. Helping people. Keith continued working diligently, his eyes growing tired. The door opened and he looked up to see Axca standing there, looking at him concerned.
“You look tired,” she said, worried.
Keith grumbled a response but smiled back at her.
“Let me help you” she said and grabbed a chair to sit next to him.
Axca grabbed half of the papers that still had to be done and started working.
A few hours of working in silence and they finally finished.
“I swear, how come you always have so much paperwork” she chuckled at him
“I guess that’s what happens when you’re high up in the chain of command. I’m just thankful I didn’t take the leadership role” he grumbled
“Why so much paperwork anyway?” she asked
“We’re been running low and stretching ourselves thin. We need more supplies and I’ve also needed to sign paperwork for missions and agreements etc.” he responded
Axca looked at him with concern in her eyes
“You’re always working yourself too hard” she said
Keith looked up at her
“I could say the same thing” he said
With that, Axca let out a chuckle
"Guess neither of us know how to relax,” she said as she leaned back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling.
The light from Keith’s desk lamp highlighted Axca’s face and gave her a forlorn look.
“What are you going to do after the blade of malmora?” she asked
Keith turned to look at her, confused. What was that supposed to mean?
“What do you mean by that?” he asked, as he looked at her more closely.
Axca tilted her head as she scanned Keith’s face and his reaction. Like a cat trying to understand her strange owner’s actions.
“You can’t seriously expect to spend the rest of your days at the blade of malmora. It will take whole lifetimes to fix what Zarkon’s done. To rebuild the damage he and his whole family made. You deserve to live your own life outside of all this. We all do” she said as she grabbed Kosmo who had woken up from his nap near Keith.
Kosmo turned to look at Keith as Axca petted him as if he was also asking Keith what he was going to do with his life. Keith looked at her shocked. He never thought about his life outside of space, outside of the blade of malmora. This has been his whole life for the past few years. Almost a decade since he first went to outer space. Two years since the death of Allura. A year since the lions disappeared from them. He still remembered that day well.
***
Keith woke up to a strange light in the distance, coming from his window. He opened his eyes slowly. He got up and peered through his window. He couldn’t believe it. It was the lions, and they were all glowing strangely.
Keith rushed out of his room to head towards the lions. Followed by the rest of the paladins close behind.
Lance was ahead of everyone though. He turned back to make sure we were close behind.
Lance looked different. He had since Allura’s death. He always had a sad look to him and he constantly had dark shadows under his eyes now. As if he wasn’t getting enough sleep. Keith wanted to check up on him. Make sure he is fine. He wanted to use this yearly meetup to check up on Lance. He had tried to check up on Lance regularly after Allura’s death but Keith was always quite busy and Lance always pretended that he was alright. That he was unaffected by what happened. Lance decided to live a quiet life on his farm with his family. That was so unlike the Lance he knew. The Lance he knew was boisterous and loud and made an impact on people wherever he went. A quiet life that sounded more like Keith. Keith before the lions, when he was lost and trying to find Shiro. When he felt alone and had no friends or family by his side to help him. Keith was now the loud one - making an impact. Being loud throughout the universe whilst Lance left a quiet life hidden from the world. They arrived outside to see the lions beginning to fly away.
Keith stood next to Shiro, and stared at the Red and Black Lion. The two lions he had piloted throughout his Space adventures. Now it seemed like they were leaving. Gone someplace none of them could follow.
Keith felt a familiar pain in his chest. A pain he had felt throughout his entire childhood. A pain that had followed him through his adulthood as well. Loss. He knew that feeling well. It had followed him like a plague his entire life. It was like a shadow, always lurking nearby. He clung to him like skin and stuck like oil. Keith turned to look at everyone quickly. All of them filled with sorrow in their eyes. Not just for the lions but also Allura who sacrificed everything for them. The lions were a reminder of her and all she sacrificed. Allura sacrificed her own life so that they could live theirs. Keith swept a look at all the paladins’ reaction. Their eyes all filled with sorrow and reminiscing the good times they had in the lions and with each other. Finally, Keith turned to look at Lance who was staring deeply at the blue lion. The first lion they all saw. The lion Lance had piloted, and also Allura. Lance stared at it, deep in thought as he was reminded of Allura and filled with nostalgia. Keith continued to watch Lance. Concerned for him. Keith really wanted to talk to Lance. He could sense that Lance wasn’t alright. No matter how much Lance tried to deny it. He could tell. He knew Lance better than most. Afterwards, everyone silently went back to their rooms, all lost in their own thoughts. Keith began to follow the rest and head back but turned to see Lance was still there, by himself looking up at the stars. Keith stayed back and began walking to Lance, checking to see if he was alright.
“How are you Lance?” Keith asked after a few moments of silence.
Lance, his eyes blurry with fallen tears, turned to look at Keith. His expression filled Keith with so much pain.
“I’m alright” Lance said and smiled at him. It was almost believable except for his red eyes that had fallen with tears a few seconds ago.
“I know you’re not Lance. You can tell me anything, you know that right. Not just me but all of us. We’re all here for you Lance. So please talk to me.” Keith begged as he looked at Lance faking it again.
Keith watched as Lance put on this mask and persona. It hurt that Lance refused to talk to him, to anyone about his struggle and grief.
Lance looked him in the eye again and for a split second I could sense his overwhelming grief and pain. It broke Keith to see him like this.
“I’m fine Keith, honestly” Lance said with a smile plastered on and walked away
Keith turned around to watch him go, his figure fading away. Keith was alone now outside, where the lions were a few seconds ago. Nothing but him, the sky and the wind brushing past.
.
***
“Keith, are you listening?”
Keith turned to look at her, out of his trance.
“I’m sorry, what did you say again?” he asked
“I asked what your plans are after the Blade of Malmora” she said, looking art him concerned
“I never really thought about it to be honest. I guess maybe I’ll live out in the countryside or something?” he said, looking out the window of his office at the beautiful view of space.
“You should think about it. You deserve to be happy Keith” said Axca, as she got up and put a hand on his shoulder. Kosmo seemed annoyed that Axca got up.
“I am though”
Axca looked at him one last time.
“I’ve known you for a while now Keith. I know when you’re lying. I don’t think you’ve been truly happy for awhile now.” said Axca and then she left
Keith watched Axca leave his office and turned to look back at the expanse of space out his window. Kosmo jumped on his lap and Keith began patting him.
“I am happy. Right?”
Kosmo turned to look at him curiously, his head tilted at an angle.
Keith smiled slightly at Kosmo and continued patting him.
Later that night, Keith stared up at the ceiling of his room, struggling to fall asleep. There were two many things going through his mind. It was the same sort of things that always went through his mind. The most prominent worry that always seemed to be there in the back of his mind was Lance. He was always at the forefront of Keith’s mind. A constant worry in his head. He used to find Lance annoying and a nuisance. Now he couldn’t imagine a world without Lance in it. That’s why he had to help Lance. No matter what.
Keith listens to the silence of his room, finding comfort in it. Next by, Kosmo was sleeping curled up next to Keith with his tail tucked near his nose. Keith brushed his fingers gently against Kosmo’s fur. Kosmo grumbled softly at his touch, his ears twitching slightly. Tomorrow would be the day he meets up with the rest of the paladins. That should be interesting. Keith hadn’t heard from Lance since they all met together which was a year ago. Keith tried to stay in contact with Lance but he seemed to not be responding. He wasn’t surprised though, especially since what happened last time they talked.
***
Keith woke up the next morning tired. After everybody left, Lance refused to talk to him. He had ended up staying outside for longer, just trying to calm his nerves. He was really worried for Lance. Keith just wanted to talk to him, but he refused to acknowledge anything was different.
Keith got out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He headed towards the bathroom to have a quick shower. He let the water drizzle down his face and skin. Helping to cool him down from his thoughts running hot. He let himself breathe in and out deeply to calm down his anxiety. Lance didn’t want to talk but Keith will make him. He couldn’t keep ignoring and pushing his feelings away. It wasn’t healthy for him. Keith knew that better than anyone.
Keith changed his clothes quickly and headed for breakfast. No one else was there yet except for him. He wasn’t surprised though. Keith was a morning person and always woke up early, no matter what.
Keith poured himself some coffee and was buttering his toast. The door opened and he turned to see Lance was there, dark shadows under his eyes seeming even more prominent than before. He had a sad, tired expression on his face but when he saw Keith was sitting there it quickly switched to a joyous smile. Lance was acting again, putting on a facade. Keith looked at him, trying to find a tiny slip of his mask.
Lance sat down across from Keith, his usual bright smile pasted onto his face like a bad sticker, already peeling at the edges.
"Morning," he said too cheerfully, grabbing a piece of toast but not eating it.
Keith studied him. The deep shadows under Lance’s eyes, the way he kept tapping his foot, restless.
"You didn’t sleep well, did you?" Keith asked, quiet but direct.
Lance’s smile faltered. Just for a second.
"I said I’m fine, Keith."
"You keep saying that, but you’re not. You don’t have to pretend with me. Just talk to me. Please."
Lance froze. His fingers curled tightly around the edge of his plate.
"I don’t want to do this right now," he said flatly, but his voice was already shaking.
"I just— I want to help. You’re not alone in this. I’m right here, Lance—"
"Don’t," Lance snapped, eyes flashing. He pushed his chair back.
Keith stood up too, calm but firm. “You can't keep burying this. It's eating you alive. You think I like seeing you like this?”
Lance’s hands trembled. His jaw clenched. His breath hitched — and then the dam broke.
"You think you know me?!" he yelled, voice cracking. "You don’t get it, Keith. You don’t get what it’s like to wake up every day and feel like you’re stuck in a life that doesn’t belong to you anymore."
Keith stepped forward, but Lance stepped back.
"You get to keep going, being the hero, saving the universe like it’s what you were born to do. And me? I’m just—" He laughed bitterly. "I’m just the guy who stayed behind. Who lost her. Who watched her die and couldn’t do a damn thing."
Keith opened his mouth, but Lance kept going, voice hoarse now.
"Sometimes I wish it had been you instead of her," he said, barely above a whisper. "At least then— then maybe I wouldn’t have to look at you and be reminded of everything I’m not."
Silence. Thick and heavy.
Lance stared at him, chest heaving, eyes wide and angry.
Then Lance’s eyes instantly filled with regret but the damage had already been done. He stayed for a second and then left in a hurry.
But Keith just stood there, silent. Still.
***
Keith woke up the next morning, feeling more dead than the undead.
He sat on the edge of the bed, eyes blank, as the memories from last year pressed heavy on his chest.
The words still echoed in his head like they’d just been said: I wish it had been you.
He ran a hand through his hair, exhaled slowly, then stood. He breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm his nerves down like Shiro used to teach him when he was as impulsive kid angry at the world
He moved through his morning routine in silence. Each action mechanical, distant.
Today was the day.
The day he would see the rest of the paladins.
The day he would see Lance again.
Keith stared out the small window of his quarters, watching the stars pass like ghosts. His reflection looked back at him in the glass — his eyes tired and worn
He wasn't sure if he was ready.
But the day had come anyway