Chapter Text
I hate to say I love you. It hurts me each time I utter that four letter word. I hate to say I want you when you make it clear you don't want me. Why am I the only one who feels this pain? I'm such a fool. Despite my misguided love, I know exactly what you'd say. You would tell me you were sorry and I’d believe it. Then you would tell me you love me, just not in that way. And I would take it. I would understand your reasoning. Knowing all this, I still felt compelled to utter those for letter words. I love you, I want you, I need you.
Can you tell I long for you? Lately you have grown distant, pushing me aside. That is how I know I am pathetic. How I realised just how dependant I am. You make it so clear. Voicing my feelings would get me no where. So that is why I broke when I finally told you I need you. Why did I have to be so reliant? You will never know this feeling. This gut wrenching feeling. It hurts. Words cannot explain the pain radiating from under my chest, all they can do it state the facts. All words can do it say those four letter words that my lips cannot.
I’m such a fool. I am a fool for falling in love with you. Maybe if we meet again, I could ask you and it wouldn’t matter if you didn’t love me in that way.They say the purest expression of grief is screaming the name of a foreigners God, so it only makes my sense when I choke on those words late at night. I have always been a slave to my cowardice, so it doesn't concern me that I am shamelessly running from what I am feeling. It doesn't matter.
Take care of this town, because someday I will be back to take what is mine.
S.S
Gripping the letter tightly, Stiles scent had already faded, lost to the world. Scrunching his eyes shut, Derek struggled to gather his thoughts. Was this really it? Was Stiles leaving for good? Derek was lost to his own grief, reading over the words like they held all the worlds secrets. And Derek understood.
His God's weren't enough to shoulder his sadness