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“You know what, guys? Let’s play ‘Spin the Bottle’!” Lisa announces and the small crowd gathered for the party cheers loudly. Ray keeps quiet, but nobody’s paying that much attention to him, so it’s fine. It’s Lisa’s birthday, after all, and she gets to choose what they will do - Ray’s not going to be the one to spoil her fun, even though he’s not exactly sure he’s too comfortable with the game.
His discomfort only increases after they sit in a circle on the ground and Lisa smirks at them smugly:
“New rules, though. None of that hugging-handshaking crap, alright? You spin, you gotta kiss the person, properly, no matter if they’re a guy or a girl, yeah?”
A new round of cheers, catcalls and yells rises from the group and Ray feels his stomach sink through the floor. His hands tighten into fists in his hoodie’s pockets and he does his best not to look Sydney’s way; Ray has been slowly,slowly trying to make peace with the startling fact that somewhere in his sixteen years of life, he has apparently started wanting to kiss boys sometimes (one particular boy, if he’s honest with himself, but there’s still a couple of miles in his road to acceptance for him to be able to be quite so honest). However, he doesn’t know if he wants Sydney to know - Sydney who has been making fun of him for a lot of things of much lesser significance. Sydney who would no doubt tell their parents, their other friends, everyone in Ray’s life - and he would not be kind about it, or understanding, or supportive.
Nothing Ray can do now, though: if he protests, they will know regardless, and the teasing will only get worse. All he can hope for is that the odds will be in his favor - there are enough girls in the group that he doesn’t necessarily have to end up with a guy. Right? Right.
Lisa goes first, because she’s the birthday girl and because she’s been eyeing Caitlin - and possibly Iris - for a while now. Ray knows that Lisa is quite liberal with who she kisses: she always plays it off as fun and games, but he has seen the wistful looks on her face when she thinks nobody’s looking, and he thinks that maybe they have more in common than he would’ve believed before. Not that Lisa would admit that she can take anything seriously - which is, ironically, her undoing, because nice girls like Caitlin and Iris would never make out with her just for ‘fun and games’. Nice girls like that tend to be cross with Lisa, give her talks about not having to do things like that just to entertain the guys. Ray wonders if he’s the only one thinking that Lisa is not doing it for anyone but herself - but maybe, he’s just projecting his own insecurities onto a friend.
The bottle stops on Cisco, and he looks like a deer caught in the headlights - the crowd cheers and laughs as Lisa crawls through the circle and leans forward, planting one on the guy like it doesn’t matter. He makes a tiny, strangled sound and it makes everyone laugh again - when she pulls away, he follows her for a couple of inches and then blushes, shaking his head as if to pull himself out of a daze. Lisa looks smug when she crawls back to her place, and it’s Cisco’s turn now.
Cisco gets Shawna, who spins for a kiss with Oliver, and he looks at Felicity first, as if asking for permission, before he leans in for a smooch from Caitlin. It only hurts Ray a little bit now, to look at Felicity and see the way she stares at Oliver as if he hung the moon - she broke up with Ray last year, so he’s had enough time to recover, but he still misses, from time to time, how good they used to be together. Caitlin claims a kiss from Barry, who laughs good-naturedly until he spins for Iris and turns the color of a tomato, stammering about how they’re almost brother-and-sister before Iris rolls her eyes and crawls through the circle to take matters into her own hands. She’s pretty matter-of-fact about it, and maybe that’s why Ray doesn’t feel like he’s screwing over one of his best friends when she spins and gets him: it’s not like everyone knows about Barry’s crush on her, but Ray does, since Barry’s been one of his closer friends for years, and it does make him feel a bit better when he glances at Barry and just gets a smile before Iris comes to him for a kiss.
“Now everyone,” Sydney snorts when Ray reaches for the bottle, “pray that your luck is better than getting this one, or you’ll get nerd slobber all over your face.”
Ray’s insides clench painfully, as always when Sydney says something ‘funny’ like that - it doesn’t help that much that some people, Barry and Cisco and Felicity, mumble their protests and frown at Syd. Ray takes a deep breath and sends a quick prayer up to the heavens that he gets a girl, just so that he doesn’t have to listen to Sydney tease him about something that Ray is definitely not confident about-
-and of course that’s when the door to the living room opens and Ray’s hand slips, sending the bottle spinning wildly and rolling out of the circle altogether. Everybody’s too busy staring guiltily at the newcomers to notice and stop it: Lisa’s older brother doesn’t look too impressed, if his scowl is anything to go by.
Well, to be fair, Len Snart scowls a lot - so does his best friend, Mick Rory, who is standing right there next to him, looking at them like they’re silly kids.
“What’s going on here?” Len demands, with his usual level of superiority in his voice. Lisa groans and gets up:
“Come on, Lenny, we’re just playing. You can even join - look who’s here,” she smirks mischievously and waves her hand towards the far end of the circle. Ray wonders if Len has a crush on one of them… the direction of Lisa’s hand would indicate Iris, or Caitlin, or… no, probably one of the girls. But they’re just sophomores, and surely the high-and-mighty (and scary) senior like Len wouldn’t care about kids like them.
Len and Lisa start arguing, something about his responsibilities and her recklessness, about appropriate games for a birthday party and stuff like that, but Ray’s not listening. Ray is too busy feeling a sense of dread creep up on him as he watches the bottle - his heart ends up somewhere in his throat and he can feel his palms go sweaty in a matter of seconds. The bottle stops its journey with the bottleneck pressed into Mick’s sneaker, sitting there like a reminder of all those stolen moments when Ray allowed himself to think about a boy, this boy, and how it would feel to- no. No no no. Surely that doesn’t count? It’s not like Mick’s even playing. Ray gives him a terrified look, but Mick’s face is unreadable as he stares at the circle, probably trying to determine whose bottle it is. His eyes land on Ray, and that’s when Ray realizes he should’ve acted like he doesn’t care because now it’s obvious that it’s his turn, and he swallows, feeling like his stomach has taken a vacation and a journey to the South Pole.
“A-HA!” Lisa exclaims, and Ray knows what’s going to follow, with a terrifying inevitability of a boulder rolling down a hill to crush some innocent bystanders. He knows that Lisa’s trying to divert Len’s attention so she won’t be scolded, but Ray really wishes she wouldn’t use him to do it. “Ray’s turn! You gotta kiss him now, Mick!”
Yeah, Ray’s stomach? Definitely back home, because it rolls so hard it nearly makes Ray nauseous with expectation and horror and with how much he simultaneously wants and doesn’t want it to happen.
“Give him a break, Lisa,” it’s Sydney’s voice that cuts through the panic in Ray’s mind, and for a split second, he’s nearly shocked that Sydney would stand up for him- “no one wants to kiss my brother, even if they’ve signed up for that risk. Which Rory definitely hasn’t.”
Oh. Of course. Ray swallows, the excitement in his stomach turning to regretful lead. He bites the inside of his mouth because he, stupidly, feels like he’s going to cry, maybe out of embarrassment, maybe out of shame at how much he wanted this to be true, even if he feared the mocking. He looks up at Mick and makes a small smile happen on his face, even though smiling is the furthest from his thoughts now. But it’s okay - Ray knows how to smile through the pain. If he keeps smiling long enough, Sydney will eventually get bored and move on with his jokes: Ray has learned that very early on.
“He’s right… you don’t have to,” he says, voice small, and Mick quirks an eyebrow at him before turning to Lisa.
“What kinda rules is that?” he huffs, and Lisa smirks, feeling her victory over her brother at the tip of her tongue, now that Mick is obviously playing along instead of getting mad at them too.
“Ones that actually make sense. Gotta kiss anyone you get, no stupid handshakes and shit.”
“Lisa-” Len starts, but Mick’s moving - he’s moving forward, towards the circle, and holy hell, Ray’s palms are all clammy again. It can’t be, it can’t-
“Well, if you gotta,” Mick grumbles and Ray’s frozen to the spot - he should be getting off the ground, but he can’t, he forgot how to use his legs. Caitlin next to him drives an elbow to his ribs and then he’s suddenly standing up, not knowing how he got there, and Mick is walking to him, eyes fixed on Ray’s like Ray is a prize in a cereal box, a shivering rabbit trying to hide from a wolf in plain sight. He feels like prey, at least, but somehow his body didn’t get the memo that this is dangerously close to a line he doesn’t want to step over - the lead in his stomach becomes all sorts of fluttery insects and Ray has to steel himself not to keel over just at the thought of what’s gonna happen.
“Seriously,” Sydney sneers, somewhere down on the ground, “you don’t have to, Mick. Like anybody would willingly subject himself to this.”
“Better him than you, Fumble,” Mick snaps, and Ray can hear someone, probably Lisa, mutter ‘burn’. Sydney inhales sharply, as always hating to be reminded of the time when he dropped the ball in the field, nearly losing them the game. Of course, being Sydney, he then managed to score the winning points five minutes later, just seconds before the game ended, but somehow, Mick is one of the (very) few people who will occasionally sit Sydney down by reminding him that even he can make a mistake.
Ray wonders if it’s healthy that he finds it hot.
And then he can’t think about anything except Mick, who stop just a foot from Ray, scowling at him in what looks like a serious, more than pissed-off, expression. Ray swallows, hard, and realizes for the first time that this year’s growth spurt means he’s nearly of height with Mick. He’s skinnier, that’s for sure, not being on the football team and being the one to hit the books instead of the gym, but the height gives him some confidence, at least - confidence that maybe he’s not gonna get punched.
He expects Mick to lean forward for a quick peck - even though Lisa said ‘proper’ kissing, she never specified, and so it would satisfy the requirements of the game Mick hasn’t even been playing a moment ago.
What Ray does not expect is an arm around his waist, pressing him flush against Mick’s strong torso. What he does not expect is Mick’s mouth, lips burning and a bit chapped, surprisingly gentle after the first burst of movement that nearly clacks their teeth together. Ray lets out a startled yelp and suddenly there’s tongue and a hand on his jaw tilting his head for a better angle, and his eyes fall closed on their own, because this, this feels so much better than he could’ve ever imagined. He vaguely hears the shouting and cheering going on around them, but he can’t focus at all - he’s too busy trying to figure out how to make himself look like he knows what he’s doing.
He lets his tongue respond to Mick’s, flicks it across the other boy’s lips and shivers when Mick grunts and pulls him even closer. Ray is uncomfortably aware of his crotch being pressed into Mick’s thigh - if this goes on for much longer, he’s really going to make an embarrassment out of himself, but he hardly cares at the moment. His hands slide up Mick’s very nice arms to settle on his shoulders and it’s all thinking about dead puppies from then on, because he has to stop the blood flowing south before he actually gets a real hard-on in front of all his friends.
Fortunately, Mick must feel him tense, because he lets Ray pull away, just a couple of inches and it’s not enough, it’s not far enough and it’s not close enough and Ray’s mind is a mess of ‘more’ and ‘please’ and ‘never stop’. He’s panting, even if they couldn’t have been kissing for more than ten seconds, and someone’s loudly cheering his name (probably Cisco). Ray finds that he can’t turn his eyes away from Mick - he’s gorgeous, with his scowl and his fierce eyes and his lips tinged pink from the kiss. From the kiss he gave Ray. Willingly. On his own. Not forced at all. Oh god.
“Wanna get out of here?” Mick mutters, and Ray’s mind goes completely blank (well, apart from the very loud ‘YES’ echoing in his suddenly empty skull).
He can hear Sydney sneer, say something stupid like that he didn’t know his brother got it up for criminal psychos. And Ray suddenly… doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that everyone in this room now most definitely knows he’s not straight; he doesn’t care that Sydney will surely tell their parents, both about the kiss and at length about who Ray kissed. He doesn’t care that his parents will disapprove of Mick, who has been to juvy and has a couple of records for brawling at school. He doesn’t care about anything but Mick’s eyes burning into his heart and about Mick’s hand, curling around his own, large and warm and callused from all the activities that gave him his fantastic shoulders and arms.
“Yes,” he breathes, barely audible, but it’s enough for Mick who turns and pulls Ray along, out of the circle of his friends, around one Snart who is laughing like crazy and another who is giving them his best suspicious look, and out of the house, down the driveway to the beat-up truck that used to be fire-engine red at some distant point in time.
He doesn’t care that the truck smells a bit like gasoline and a lot like smoke - he doesn’t care that he’s being driven who knows where by a guy his parents will definitely disapprove of. All he cares about is more kisses while this dream lasts, so that when he wakes up he has something nice to remember.
Mick stops the car in a spot that’s near the park, secluded enough on a Saturday afternoon but not so secluded that it would give Ray the creeps, and when he turns off the engine, Ray is equally terrified and expectant of what will happen next.
“Um, so, thank you, for playing along, I mean you really didn’t have-”
“Less talking, more kissing,” Mick growls and twists in his seat until he can lean forward, and suddenly he’s all up in Ray’s space, looming over him despite their height difference being nearly nonexistent now. Ray yelps and leans back on instinct, and Mick’s forehead crinkles into a frown.
“Unless you don’t want to?” he asks, and there’s something… almost tentative in his voice, something that makes Ray’s stomach flip all over again and his hands tremble at the implications that he mostly guesses and is afraid to hope for.
“I do!” he blurts out quickly, so that Mick doesn’t lean back - after the initial shock, Mick’s closeness is an incredible treat that Ray doesn’t want to lose, heat radiating off his body and making Ray’s fingers twitch with the need to touch. “I definitely want to. I, uh, I kinda like you so it would be strange if I didn’t want to, right?” he laughs, and then realizes what he just said and he wants to bury himself in the deepest level of hell designed for people like him, who run their mouths before thinking.
He’s certain Mick will kick him out now, leave him on the curb alone and drive away, because surely Mick just wants to have some fun, without the additional baggage of an infatuated kid hanging on to his every word-
-but Mick’s expression doesn’t shutter. He doesn’t pull away, he doesn’t tease Ray for being too emotional, for confusing making out with… something else. Instead, he honest-to-god smiles and Ray doesn’t think he’s ever seen that before, a quiet, soft smile on Mick’s face that lights up his eyes and transforms his otherwise severe features into something kind and warm and inviting.
“’s okay, Pretty Boy - I like you too,” he mumbles, and Ray is pretty sure he’s gonna throw up from sheer excitement, and wouldn’t that be just like him, to completely screw himself over just because he can’t contain his nerves-
Mick kisses him again then, his lips slow and sweet, the roughness of chapped skin sending twitches and tingles like little electric sparks down Ray’s spine. He can’t quite swallow the high-pitched happy sound that has roots all the way somewhere in his lower belly, so he grabs onto Mick’s shirt with one hand and buries his other in Mick’s thick, dark hair and holds onto him for dear life. He doesn’t remember ever being this happy in his life, but he doesn’t remember much at all except for the last brush of Mick’s lips that leads him to yearn for the next one.
When Mick finally pulls away, they’re both breathless, and Mick’s hair is a rumpled mess and Ray’s hand is cramping a little for clutching Mick’s shirt so tight… but when Mick smiles at him, Ray knows he never wants to get out of this car ever again.