Archive of Our Own

SHIVERS [Easy: Success] – The city of Revachol is calm and quiet under the colourful, clear night sky. Her streets, long and winding, flow into one another, eat one another, gnaw at the sharp turns—not unlike Ouroboros eating its own tail.

The weather gives a promise to be sunny tomorrow, without any rain, for the first time since you and Lieutenant had arrived in Martinaise. There is no wind.

PERCEPTION (TOUCH) [Medium: Success] – Your fingers touch upon the surface of your skin, hairy, soft and pale, when you take off your shirt. You feel something — a mark, a long line, travelling right under your chest, and another one, just like that, on the other side. Are those scars? You didn't know they were there.

LOGIC [Easy: Success] – Then again, you *wouldn't* know they were there. With your retrograde amnesia and all that. Just a thought.

1. Take the shirt off first.
2. Look at your chest.

THE SHIRT – The shirt hangs loosely on your frame, with one of your arms still in the sleeve. You slowly, almost cautiously, remove it from there, and soon it lays at your side in a messy crumpled pile, having set your body free.

1. Take the shirt off first.
2. Look at your chest.

THE SCARS – Yes, those are *definitely* scars. There are two of them, neat, thin and very white, barely noticeable under all the hair — no wonder you only see them now. They somewhat resemble two reversed letters T; one of its lines going up to each nipple, while the other two stay under your chest, looking like they support it in some sense.

You really don't know what those mean. Did you get them in the line of duty, protecting civilians from a perpetrator's knife with your own chest? Or could it be some kind of a scary illness that needed a surgery? Is that even something you *need* to know, or was it just some stupid accident like scrapped knees in your childhood?

1. [Visual Calculus: Medium] – Try to ascertain what the cause of the scarring was.
2. "Hey. Where did you come from?"
3. Have a panic attack.
4. Let them be. [Leave]

YOU – "Hey. Where did you come from?"

THE SCARS – The scars are very quiet. They do not seem to be particularly willing to answer your question.

DRAMA [Trivial: Failure] – They must be ignoring you, sire. YOU! They live on your body and feed from it, yet they refuse to acknowledge you, their *owner*!

1. "Hey! Stop *ignoring* me!"
2. "Actually, I understand you, guys. I wouldn't want to talk to myself either, if I were you."
3. Cry from shame.

YOU – "Hey! Stop *ignoring* me!"

VOLITION – This is insane. You are talking to a body part. Please, get your shit together. They are not going to answer.

AUTHORITY – You need to establish your dominance. If they knew you're in charge here, they'd listen.

VOLITION – Is that a fucking joke? Don't listen to him.

1. [Authority: Impossible] – Make the scars talk.
2. Yes, this is insane. I'm not going to do it.
3. "Please, answer. That's very impolite!"

YOU – "Please, answer. That's very impolite!"

VOLITION – …

AUTHORITY – Don't let them push you around! You need to make them understand. I'll walk you through it.

THE SCARS – The scars are still quiet. They must be judging you. Or laughing at you. Oh, yes, they are a 100% laughing at you.

1. [Authority: Impossible] – Make the scars talk.
2. Yes, this is insane. I'm not going to do it.
3. "Please, answer. That's very impolite!"

AUTHORITY [Impossible: Failure] – I got it. Take your gun out of its holster.

VOLITION – DON'T.

AUTHORITY – I told you, I *got* it! Let's scare them into submission, then they'll talk.

1. Take your gun out.
2. Yeah no, not doing that. (Back out)

YOU – Yeah no, not doing that. (Back out)

AUTHORITY – There is no backing out now! You are THE LAW, the alpha dog here.

1. Take your gun out.

YOU – Take your gun out.

VOLITION – How am I supposed to keep you alive if you try to kill yourself at least one time a day? What the hell is wrong with you?

AUTHORITY – We are not killing anyone. Simply threatening. Like a good, normal police officer would do.

THE SCARS – The scars are not scared still.

1. Point your gun at them.
2. That is enough, I am not *that* insane. And they do not seem to be scared at all. Put the gun away.

YOU – That is enough, I am not *that* insane. And they do not seem to be scared at all. Put the gun away.

VOLITION – Thank God.

AUTHORITY – You're such a pussy.

1. [Visual Calculus: Medium] – Try to ascertain what the cause of the scarring was.
2. "Hey. Where did you come from?"
3. Have a panic attack.
4. Let them be. [Leave]

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] – Two thin, long scars are making their way across your chest. They look pretty old and nicely healed — you must have taken care of them while you were recovering. You should have gotten them really, *really* long ago — when you still gave enough fucks about your life and body.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] – Before it all went to shit.

VISUAL CALCULUS – But they are too accurate and precise to be from an accident or an attack. Their position and form highly suggest their cause was, indeed, a medical surgery.

THE SCARS – For some reason, the sight of the scars fills you with pride and sense of accomplishment.

1. Okay, surgery, sure, but *why* did I need a surgery on the chest?

YOU – Okay, surgery, sure, but *why* did I need a surgery on the chest?

VISUAL CALCULUS – How am I supposed to know?

1. [Encyclopedia: Challenging] Try to establish the cause of the surgery.
2. No, thank you. I like it when my body keeps secrets from me.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Challenging: Failure] – I don't know either, Harry. I can't know the condition just from the way your scars look.

If anything, this has more to do with your past specifically than with general knowledge of illnesses that require medical surgeries.

LOGIC [Easy: Success] – Maybe the Lieutenant will know?

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] – The night is still young. He's not sleeping — sitting at his desk instead, the yellow light of a desk lamp painting his sharp features into golden light. In front of him — his notes, the pages covered in sharp, barely readable words written in a hurry. He's going over them.

His eyes are scanning the pages quickly, long fingers tracing the interlacing of letters. There is deep-seated tiredness in the wrinkles of his face, under his eyes, in the way his hands move slowly, almost sleepy.

But he isn't asleep yet.

1. Go ask Kim.
2. No, thank you. I like it when my body keeps secrets from me.
3. No, I don't want to bother him at night.

YOU – No, I don't want to bother him at night.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] – He wouldn't mind. If there's any chance this mystery of the scars would take your attention away from the investigation, he'll be only glad to help you with that sooner than later, before it will start affecting your productivity.

VOLITION – And knowing you — it will.

1. Go ask Kim.
2. No, thank you. I like it when my body keeps secrets from me.
3. No, I don't want to bother him at night.

YOU – Go ask Kim.

You get up from the bed, quickly putting your shirt on again, leaving it half-unbuttoned. You make your way across the room, and then — into empty corridor to the closest door. The wood is hard under your knuckles when you knock at it — the sound comes back hollow, but wooden in a nice way.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] – There is silence for a few moments, and you almost decide to run away and pretend you never knocked. Before that, though, your ears catch very quiet, calm footsteps approaching the door.

KIM KITSURAGI – He doesn't immediately open it. "Hello?" he asks, his voice sounds quiet from behind the door.

1. "Hey, there's, uhh, something I need to ask you."
2. Apologise and leave. [Leave]

YOU – "Hey, there's, uhh, something I need to ask you."

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant is quiet for a few moments.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] – He seems to have caught the worry it your voice, but he'd rather not deal with something like the reality low-down again. He *really* doesn't want to be your guide in the basics of reality, but starts to feel like it's not really an option for him.

KIM KITSURAGI – "Is it urgent?"

1. "Not *really*, but…"
2. "It won't take long."
3. "No, not at all. Sorry. I'll go now." [Leave]

YOU – "It won't take long."

KIM KITSURAGI – After a moment he unlocks the door, gesturing you in. He is clothed in a sleeveless shirt, without his bomber jacket — and you, for a tiny moment, find yourself fascinated by the unexpected and unfamiliar sight of his bare shoulders and arms.

PERCEPTION (SMELL) [Easy: Success] – He smells of cigarettes. The smell is thin, not loud or obnoxious, but easily noticeable. He must have smoked recently — before he started going over his notes, probably.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] – You should ask him for a cigarette. Like, right now. The smell is almost making your mouth water.

KIM KITSURAGI –"Detective?" His voice pulls you out from your wordless staring at his body. He looks at you, one brow raised.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – He seems to be amused at your loss of words, and, surprisingly, not annoyed in the slightest.

COMPOSURE – Get your shit together immediately, stop staring at him, start talking.

1. [Composure: Medium] – Get your shit together. Pretend nothing happened.
2. Clean your throat with unbearably painful awkwardness.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] – You try to get your shit together like you did when you were first approaching the hanged man, but the situation is entirely different and isn't as familiar to you as staring at ugly dead bodies. Your shit isn't really willing to get together for this one, brother.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] – Because the Lieutenant is neither dead nor ugly. He's actually kind of…

VOLITION – Shut. He's already brain-damaged, don't make him *think* in this direction.

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] – Is that, like, a homo-sexual underground thing you're talking about?

VOLITION – I swear to Her Innocence, if you don't stop…

LOGIC [Easy: Failure] – He's actually kind of *what*? What does that even mean? What does homo-sexual underground has to do with any of this?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Sweet summer child…

COMPOSURE – You open your mouth in an attempt to finally start talking, but, with all those voices talking about *this*, all that comes out of your mouth is…

1. "Oh, uhm, yeah… I…"

YOU – "Oh, uhm, yeah… I…"

KIM KITSURAGI – He's waiting patiently for you to collect the words, the hint of laughter in a way the corner of his lips twitches, almost unnoticeably.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] – You can still back out. You don't *need* to know the cause. It's not an important secret. Some people will be grateful for a chance to *not* know this.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Challenging: Success] – And oh, brother, can this knowledge bring you pain…

1. "There are scars on my chest, and I don't know where they came from. Maybe you can help me?"
2. Take your shirt off. Better show than tell, right?
3. "Actually, nevermind. I'll get going now. That was a completely normal encounter, thanks, bye." [Leave]

YOU – Take your shirt off. Better show than tell, right?

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant raises his eyebrows, not really caring about averting his gaze from your naked frame, and you two stand in silence while you carefully hang your shirt from a chair.

"Okay?" he says, finally, with an intonation of a question. He must be used to your suddenly undressing and changing clothes in from of him, but you never did it with such intention. "What now?"

1. "There are scars on my chest, and I don't know where they came from. Maybe you can help me?"
2. Take your shirt off. Better show than tell, right?
3. "Actually, nevermind. I'll get going now. That was a completely normal encounter, thanks, bye." [Leave]

YOU – "There are scars on my chest, and I don't know where they came from. Maybe you can help me?"

You poke one of the scars with a finger — the skin feels just as soft as it always did, even a little saggy at that.

VOLITION – And it's too late now. Obviously, you have the right to know, but is this knowledge going to bring you closure?

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant follows your fingers with his eyes, and furrows his brows, when he finally sees what you're talking about.

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] – He's starting to feel a little uncomfortable for some reason, but his straight posture doesn't change, and he barely shows his discomfort. He just really doesn't want to explain *that* to you, whatever that is.

EMPATHY – But with some kind of determination he accepts the fact that he probably is the only one who *can*.

KIM KITSURAGI – "You don't remember?" he asks carefully, with the same intonation as he does when he worries you've forgotten where you are again. With this same intonation he reminds you that you're in Martinaise, in Revachol — telling you something painfully obvious, that you *should* know.

1. "I really don't. At all."
2. "I think they might be from a surgery, but that's all."
3. "I must've gotten them protecting a beautiful princess from a horrible dragon. I do that sometimes. As a pastime."

YOU – «I think they might be from a surgery, but that's all.»

KIM KITSURAGI – He nods curtly, still looking at them. "Looks like it. Healed very good, I must say," he adds, and you gleefully smile at him, like it was a proper compliment.

"But you wanted to know why you had the surgery in the first place, right?" he asks. "Why did you come to me for that, if you don't mind my asking?"

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] – He asks the second question with a slight frown, choosing his words carefully. Like the answer means a lot to him. You better answer.

1. "I… don't really know? I just thought you'd know about surgeries more than I do now."
2. "Actually, I *do* mind your asking."

YOU – "I… don't really know? I just thought you'd know about surgeries more than I do now."

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant's posture becomes more relaxed when he hears your answer.

"I'm not a doctor," he muses quietly, giving himself some more time to consider his next words, and then says: "But it might have been a mastectomy."

1. [Encyclopedia: Challenging] What's that?
2. "Kim, what's that?"

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Challenging: Success] – Oh, right. I knew that from the very beginning, by the way. Mastectomy is a surgical removal of one or both breasts, partially or completely.

DRAMA [Easy: Success] – He *didn't* know that from the very beginning, sire, not before Lieutenant told the name of the procedure.

ENCYCLOPEDIA – Is often used as a prevention or a treatment of cancer for women.

VOLITION [Trivial: Success] – You're not a woman, though.

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant is quiet, waiting for you to come back from your thoughts — by now he's already used to moments like that when you fall silent and then suddenly come up with an answer. There is apparent worry written on his face, as if he's scared of how this information might affect you.

1. "Holy shit, so I, like, had boobs before?"

YOU – "Holy shit, so I, like, had boobs before?"

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant's features soften when he realises you're not going to break down right this instant.

"That appears to be the case, yes," he murmurs, throwing a quick glance at your chest again before turning to your face, as if looking in your expression for something.

1. "Wow. I didn't know men could have breasts."
2. But why?

YOU – "Wow. I didn't know men could have breasts."

KIM KITSURAGI – "Yes, they can," he clarifies with a sigh, as if that was something you were supposed to know about the world.

ENCYCLOPEDIA – The more you know, brother.

1. "Wow. I didn't know men could have breasts."
2. But why?

YOU – But why?

ENCYCLOPEDIA – For men, it could be a treatment of abnormal growth of breast tissue — it's called gynecomastia, maybe you had that. Or you could be trans-sexual.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Easy: Success] – For some reason, the last word makes you feel a little uncomfortable in your own skin.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] – I'd suggest not asking about that one.

ENCYCLOPEDIA – Suddenly I'm with him on this one. Don't ask me.

1. "Kim… What's 'trans-sexual'?"
2. "Kim… Could it have been gynecomastia?"
3. Forget it. It's not worth asking.

YOU – "Kim… What's 'trans-sexual'?"

The word sounds foreign in your mouth.

VOLITION – But there's no point in listening to me. Of course.

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant's brows raise in what looks like surprise, and he is silent for a few moments, choosing his next words.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – It's a little strange for him, the way you got that word from seemingly nowhere. And he has even less desire to explain that to you.

KIM KITSURAGI – "That means that someone's sex doesn't align with the way they perceive themselves," he says finally, very slowly and carefully.

LOGIC [Challenging: Failure] – Uh-huh… I don't really get it.

1. "What exactly does that mean?"
2. "Yeah no, I totally got what you just said. Understood it perfectly. It has so much meaning to me, that's cool." (Lie)

YOU – "What exactly does that mean?"

KIM KITSURAGI – He purses his lips, but then explains, very plainly: "It's when you are a man, but when you were born, you were a girl. Or vice versa." It sounded like he didn't really want to explain it in such crude way, but there wasn't a second option.

1. "That sounds very left-wing to me."
2. "That makes zero sense. How can you change what you were born as? Nature is always right about those things. As is the Government."
3. "So what, is that what I am?" (Conclude)

YOU – "That sounds very left-wing to me."

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant grins and quickly turns away. "That is." His smile is evident in his voice.

1. "That sounds very left-wing to me."
2. "That makes zero sense. How can you change what you were born as? Nature is always right about those things. So is the Government."
3. "So what, is that what I am?" (Conclude)

YOU – "So what, is that what I am?"

KIM KITSURAGI – "Are you asking me?" he clarified warily.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] – He really wouldn't know.

1. "Um, yes. What do you think?"
2. "No, it was rhetorical."
3. "I'm asking the higher powers. The ghosts in this room would surely know the answers."

YOU – "Um, yes. What do you think?"

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant is quiet for a moment, considering your face with an unreadable expression. "I don't think anything," he says, finally. "Do you really not know?"

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] – You do. The moment that word stopped ringing out in the air between you two, you knew. You knew that that's what you really were, *are*, even though it's doesn't feel like a pleasant revelation.

KIM KITSURAGI – When you stay quiet, the Lieutenant puts a hand on your shoulder — gently, if a little stiffly. Even this display of emotion is a lot for him, alien in its earnestness. His hand is a little cool and comfortingly heavy; the skin to skin contact feels new to you — you haven't gotten that since you've awoken from your alcohol-induced coma and God knows for how long before that.

Kim's fingers are rough and calloused, which is unexpected — you thought they would be softer, especially with the gloves he wears all the time. But they're steady and cool, grounding you in this reality, not letting you start spiraling into the abyss of your own mind and voices within it.

1. "I don't know."
2. "I don't want to know."
3. "I feel like it might be it. It sounds right. But uncomfortable."

YOU – "I feel like it might be it. It sounds right. But uncomfortable."

KIM KITSURAGI – "It wouldn't be a pleasant thought, I imagine," he says, very softly. His voice sounds close and rumbles a little, like he doesn't have it in him to talk in full voice. "Are you sure?"

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] – Yes, you are. You still don't *remember* in a general sense of the word, but with the way longing and old misery washes over you when you think about that, you are sure.

There aren't any pictures or words when you think about that. Just flashes, really — the feeling of the world around you crumbling, taking you with it, and nobody noticing, nobody even trying to understand; the mirrors all but telling the truth to you, instead cloaking the You under a picture of a person you don't know, wrong and grotesquely sad.

And still, nobody notices. Nobody understands.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Success] – And brother, didn't it hurt. Every second. You've carried it with you ever since the feeling first creeped into your awkward teenager body; it grew into you, more and more, with your body and your mind, poisoning it. The feeling is lesser now, it's gotten easier since the surgery, but the memories are still there. And it never really went away.

LOGIC [Medium: Success] – Here it is, then. The reason for the surgery. To feel better. And you really did.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] – Holy shit. No wonder you started drinking.

VOLITION – You just forgot that it was there, that it had a reason and a definition.

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant must have noticed your empty staring. His hand is still on your shoulder, carefully, like a pressure can break you, rubbing it.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – He's worried for you.

1. "Would that mean I am actually a woman?"
2. "Can an RCM officer even be that?"
3. "Would you think of me less?"
4. "Kim, am I a freak?"

YOU – "Would that mean I am actually a woman?"

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] – He doesn't think he is the right person to have this conversation with. It should be a close friend, someone from your past, who was there when you felt all that. But that really isn't an option.

KIM KITSURAGI – "Because you were born one?" he clarifies, raising his eyebrow, and then very suddenly gives you a one-sided smirk. "You were also born a baby. You're not those things anymore, right?"

INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Success] – Not to mention that you can be whoever you want to be. Living is hard enough without trying to be something you cannot and don't want to be. It all isn't real anyway.

1. "And I can be whoever I want to be?"

YOU – "And I can be whoever I want to be?"

KIM KITSURAGI – "Also that, yes. But I'd prefer you be a detective, at least for now. We still have a case to solve." he gives you a warm half-smile.

1. "Would that mean I am actually a woman?"
2. "Can an RCM officer even be that?"
3. "Would you think of me less?"
4. "Kim, am I a freak?"

YOU – "Can an RCM officer even be that?"

KIM KITSURAGI – "Well, you are an RCM officer," he remind you carefully, like you've forgotten it again. You didn't. "And if you're also *that*, then yes, so it seems. Why not?"

LOGIC [Easy: Success] – That makes a lot of sense, actually. What he said.

1. "Would that mean I am actually a woman?"
2. "Can an RCM officer even be that?"
3. "Would you think of me less?"
4. "Kim, am I a freak?"

YOU – "Would you think of me less?"

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – The question catches him by surprise. He's even annoyed by it, a little — not by you, but by the fact that you seem to think him that petty.

He calms down immediately, though. He understands that this is really about how you perceive your worth, and not about your thinking him shallow.

KIM KITSURAGI – "I really wouldn't."

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] – He really wouldn't — this fact is a deeply personal thing and wouldn't affect his opinion on you in the slightest.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] – If anything, it's almost like he's proud of how far you've come with all the pain you've been dragging behind you.

1. "Would that mean I am actually a woman?"
2. "Can an RCM officer even be that?"
3. "Would you think of me less?"
4. "Kim, am I a freak?"

YOU – "Kim, am I a freak?"

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant answers immediately, without hesitation. "Yes."

"But not because of your being trans-sexual," he adds, just as quickly. He meant it from the very beginning.

1. "Wait, because of what then?"
2. "Oh. Okay."
3. Is that it then? That was the reason?

YOU – "Wait, because of what then?"

KIM KITSURAGI – "Because you talk to yourself and your necktie, for example," he says it post-factum, like he doesn't really care about it personally and is just making a casual observation.

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] – You don't do that. The necktie is mostly the one doing all the talking.

1. "Wait, because of what then?"
2. "Actually, it's mostly the necktie talking, not me."
3. "Oh. Okay."
4. Is that it then? That was the reason?

YOU – "Actually, it's mostly the necktie talking, not me."

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant raises an eyebrow. "See? That's what I mean."

1. "Wait, because of what then?"
2. "Actually, it's mostly the necktie talking, not me."
3. "Oh. Okay."
4. Is that it then? That was the reason?

YOU – "Oh. Okay."

KIM KITSURAGI – He nods curtly, not really knowing that to say to that.

1. "Wait, because of what then?"
2. "Actually, it's mostly the necktie talking, not me."
3. "Oh. Okay."
4. Is that it then? That was the reason?

YOU – Is that it then? That was the reason?

VOLITION [Medium: Success] – Yes. That was it. You're trans-sexual.

SHIVERS [Challenging: Success] – The sky is getting darker by the minute. The city is quiet in the night. On its streets, like blood circulating the veins of a huge organism, people are moving — all different, all going in different directions.

All different, but some of them, little people in far-away homes, far away from Martinaise and death surrounding it, are just like you.

They've survived those difficult times, just like you did. And you'll survive so much more. It won't stop hurting completely, but you'll never stop hoping, as well.

That's what it's about, in the end. About hoping even in the darkest of times.

The city of Revachol has carried you this far. Keep her on this earth. And she will do the same.

KIM KITSURAGI – His voice gently coerces you from your thoughts. He sounds a little awkwardly, but this time he really needs to be open with you. "So, what do you think?"

1. "I'm trans-sexual. And I think it'll be alright."
2. "I've survived worse things."
3. "It's beautiful, in its own way."
4. "Now we'll solve this case. And solve it *hard*, trans-sexual style."

YOU – "I'm trans-sexual. And I think it'll be alright."

KIM KITSURAGI – He doesn't seem to he particularly surprised by the revelation. Most of your thought process was invisible to him, but he can understand the way your thinking went. He's mostly just glad you figured it out.

"Glad to hear that," he nods at you, appreciatively. "Mind putting your shirt on, though? Hope that would be alright as well?"

1. "I'm trans-sexual. And I think it'll be alright."
2. "But it's a pride moment for me! I'm being proud of my body and identity."
3. "I've survived worse things."
4. "It's beautiful, in its own way."
5. "Now we'll solve this case. And solve it *hard*, trans-sexual style."

YOU – "But it's a pride moment for me! I'm being proud of my body and identity."

KIM KITSURAGI – He starts raising his hands, but stops mid-air. "Sure," he says, nonchalantly. "Okay. You can have it, Detective."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – It's not a reverse psychology thing this time. He really thinks this time you can have it.

1. "I'm trans-sexual. And I think it'll be alright."
2. "But it's a pride moment for me! I'm being proud of my body and identity."
3. "I've survived worse things."
4. "It's beautiful, in its own way."
5. "Now we'll solve this case. And solve it *hard*, trans-sexual style."

YOU – "I've survived worse things."

KIM KITSURAGI – "I'm sure you did. I'm also sure this one is not all that bad," his lips form an encouraging little smile.

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] – It's not.

1. "I'm trans-sexual. And I think it'll be alright."
2. "But it's a pride moment for me! I'm being proud of my body and identity."
3. "I've survived worse things."
4. "It's beautiful, in its own way."
5. "Now we'll solve this case. And solve it *hard*, trans-sexual style."

YOU – "It's beautiful, in its own way."

KIM KITSURAGI – "I guess it is," he agrees thoughtfully. This kind of emotional openness is somewhat alien to him, and he's not used to thinking about identities this way.

"Being genuine always is," he adds, as if explaining his vision to you. «I think it's good that you've found yourself. The first time and then the second, after forgetting,» he sends you a little gentle, really soft smile.

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] – He sounds proud of you. He doesn't want you to think he's infantilising you, although he can't help but feel this pride. He really *is* happy for you.

KIM KITSURAGI – "What now?" he asks, as if looking for some type of closure.

1. "I'm trans-sexual. And I think it'll be alright."
2. "But it's a pride moment for me! I'm being proud of my body and identity."
3. "I've survived worse things."
4. "It's beautiful, in its own way."
5. "Now we'll solve this case. And solve it *hard*, trans-sexual style."

YOU – "Now we'll solve this case. And solve it *hard*, trans-sexual style."

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant smiles openly this time, almost showing his teeth. "That's what I like to hear," he answers, a certain kind of repressed excitement in his tone.

"See you tomorrow, then," he adds a little awkwardly.

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] – It's almost like he doesn't want to let you go, but has to. This is not easy for him, too.

1. "Good night, Lieutenant."
2. [Composure: Godly] "Do you want me to stay, just this once?"

YOU – "Good night, Lieutenant."

KIM KITSURAGI – The Lieutenant nods at you, both with relief and regret.

YOU – You take your shirt from his chair and hastily put it on before walking to the door, feeling his gaze on your back.

KIM KITSURAGI – "Detective?" he calls for you from behind, and you turn around to face him again.

"Good night," he says, with unbearable gentleness in his voice.

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] – The tarmac streets, full of concrete houses destroyed in the war, reduced to ruins — painful reminders of defeat and mistakes that were made — almost glisten in the moonlight.

The wind is soft and unexpectedly warm outside, gently moving the branches on sparse trees, still naked after the long, dire winter.

And it's alright. There is still hope in this hopeless world. You carry it with you, no matter how small and seemingly fragile it is. But it has survived this long, came with you this far — so it'll stay with you, deep inside, even when being you feels like a burden and a crime.

I love you.

EMPATHY [Godly: Success] – He doesn't need to say it — and you don't, as well.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] – It wouldn't be a confession when he says that. It'd be a promise, thrown in a conversation with pretend carelessness.

A promise to stay at your side more than anything. It's all about work for him, about trust that comes with the work.

And you'll be there to promise the same in return, brother.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – But for now, as you close the door behind you with a sense of accomplishment and alien, soft warmness in your broken down body, neither of you say it.

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] – And the spring will come, and it will be alright.