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In a way, Euini had died that day.
Terror had swept over him that day as the transformation spell began to take over, and he could feel himself fading away. And he had realized, in one horrible moment, that he was going to be gone.
Just when he’d begun to like himself for the first time in his life, he was going to lose who he was. Forever.
And then the spell had enveloped him, and he had known no more.
It had felt like dying. Dying in pain and fear.
And then Qifrey’s apprentices, his new friends, had found a way to save him. Suddenly, he’d felt himself wake up inside the scalewolf. Like coming back to life with a sudden gasp of air. And then he had been able to become human again.
Become himself again.
One of the first things every witch apprentice learned was that no spell could return the dead to life. And if any such spell had been created, then it had been forbidden long ago.
And Euini had not actually died that day. But that was how it had felt. Who he was had disappeared when he’d been transformed. And that was the same as death, wasn’t it?
In retrospect, it felt exactly the same. He had died in Serpentback Cave, but Agott and Coco and Tetia and Richeh had returned him to life. He wouldn’t be himself anymore without them.
Euini owed them his very life. A life he’d finally realized was worth something.
“...okay?” A kind voice floated into his thoughts.
“Euini? Are you okay?”
Euini forced himself out of the thoughts swirling around him and turned to see Master Alaira next to him, looking worried.
“You’re shaking,” she said. “What’s wrong?”
Euini realized how fast his heart was beating. “I…” He swallowed. “It’s just…”
Alaira placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey. It’s okay. Tell me what’s going on.”
Euini felt tears well up in his eyes. “It’s… It was like I died that day.”
Master Alaira didn’t ask any questions. She just got down on her knees and hugged him, pulling him in close. Like a mother or an older sister would.
“You’re gonna be okay,” she said. “We won’t let you lose yourself again. I’m here for you. And so are Richeh and the others.”
Richeh. Oh, Richeh. Euini wanted to see her again and thank her once more. Thank her again and again.
Alaira and Richeh and all the others had given him another chance at life. A chance to be happy as himself.
As he hugged Alaira back, Euini swore to himself that he’d use his chance well.
He wouldn’t lose himself again.