Chapter Text
It was 3pm when Hwang Inho went to visit his wife in the hospital. Of course, as always, he knew that this visit would not only be about seeing his wife and he would be happy about it,
but also arguments about the fact that she should not give birth if it can kill her.
It is also necessary to add that she had cirrhosis.
Inho entered the hospital and because he was there every day, the nurses immediately knew which room he would go to .
He bowed slightly to the nurses and went towards the room where his pregnant, and also very sick wife was .
Right after entering the room he was greeted with a big smile
- Hello, honey! I thought you were offended because you came an hour later... -
-Sorry... I'm still trying to make as much money as possible, so I might be coming back later from now on. -
After this information, her smile was no longer as wide as before, but she still tried to maintain a calm atmosphere. She knew Inho was already stressed, tired and exhausted enough.
After a few minutes of silence, his wife broke the silence by saying what she always did.
"I have to give birth to this baby no matter what, if not I will feel guilty forever.."
"Honey, please get some rest, I can't look at you when you're like this"
Inho was tired of listening to these words.
He knew they weren't meant to piss him off, they were meant to be comforting, but for him, it wasn't something that ever comforted him.
After his wife repeated all the sentences she told him every day, Inho spoke up.
- Babe... Please, I can't listen to this anymore. You know I won't give up and I will work as hard to get money for you.-
Inho came over and sat down next to her so she could cuddle up to him.
- I know you want to comfort me with this, but it really doesn't work.. -
-I want you to spend more time with me, please..-
- You know I can't, right? -
-If you don't work so much you will be able to. -
Slightly irritated, he replied with boredom in his
voice.
- I won't stop working ! The only thing is that I could work more, but certainly not less. -
She moved away from him a little and with sadness in her eyes she said looking at him.
- Do whatever you want, I don't care. -
- I do what I want, just like you! You know you'll die if you give birth, and you're not even sure the baby won't be sick! -
Inho angrily took his jacket and quickly left the room.
As soon as he came out he stood in the middle of the corridor. He stood there for a few minutes then put on his jacket and slowly started walking towards the exit.
He turned his head to the back and for a moment he thought about going back to the room and apologizing to her, but he was afraid that something would explode inside him again.
It was raining outside, or rather a storm, considering how intense it was.
Inho didn't have an umbrella with him so he put on a hood.
Inho walked slowly towards the convenience store to wait until the rain stops, or at least it would rain less.
While being there, he can buy something to eat and an umbrella.
Before entering the store, he shook off the water because his clothes were completely wet.
Immediately after entering he felt better, despite his wet clothes he felt a pleasant warmth which was normal as this is the temperature usually in convenience stores, but it comforted him a little.
He took the basket and immediately went to the instant noodle section, taking the cheapest one he could find, because he couldn't spend much now.
Then he went to the alcohol section and grabbed one bottle of soju. This was his dinner, it wasn't something Inho had dreamed of, but he knew it had a purpose to save money.
He went to the cash register and handed the products to the cashier.
-Do you sell any umbrellas here?-
He said in a tired voice.
- Yes we do, do you want to buy one? -
-Mhm..Yes.-
- Also can I get a pack of cigarettes? -
- Of course, sir. Here at his place -
After the cashier scanned his items, he pulled out his wallet and paid. This was probably the worst part of the shopping.
- Thank you for shopping, have a nice day! -
Nice day?
- Yea you too, goodbye. -
Inho packed his items into a bag and slowly walked towards the exit.
when he was about to leave, he remembered that it was raining outside [it's strange that he forgot about it] so he took an umbrella out of the bag and opened it .
Before Inho was going to go home, he sat on a bench in front of the shop and closed his umbrella for the moment because it was under a roof.
He took a pack of cigarettes out of the bag, opened it and took out a cigarette.
When he put the cigarette in his mouth, he took a lighter out of his pocket and lit it.
These were moments when he could at least rest a little. Even if it was something as silly as smoking in front of a convenience store and watching happy people with their families walk by, it usually gave him some peace of mind.
But today it wasn't as relaxing for him as usual.
When Inho saw a happy couple with a little child, he didn't think he was proud of them, nothing like that.
Why do they live happily and I have to live in such shit?
Why?
Inho looked down to avoid looking at the family and even though he didn't want to, tears started flowing from his eyes.
After crying for a while, Inho threw his unfinished cigarette on the ground.
Still crying, but a little less than before, he whispered
- W..why me...-
He stepped on the cigarette, although the rather heavy rain had already extinguished it.
Inho totally lost control of his emotions so much that he forgot he was in a public place.
It wasn't good because he screamed.
-Why! .. Was I a murder in my previous life or what that I have to feel this way now?
Inho would have shouted something else but he heard his phone ringing in his pocket .
Discouraged from talking to anyone he took his phone out of his pocket .
Stupid Junho
His brother usually didn't call him, so either he was trying to convince him to have dinner with him and their mom again, or something happened.
Inho answered the phone
- What ? -
- Inho .. please come and eat something decent with us and don't just eat the cheapest instant noodles!
- I fucking told you so many times but apparently you forgot again so I'll repeat it to you , no thanks .
- Inho, mom is worried about you.. -
- I picked up, so I'm alive, now go eat and leave me alone. -
- You seem meaner than ever, is something wrong?
Inho hung up without answering .
"Is something wrong?"
Everything is wrong, Junho
He would probably tell him that if he still considered him close. Of course, In ho still considered Jun ho and their mother as family, but he had no intention of burdening them even more with his terrible life .
After finishing the call, Inho didn't stay there for long, but after a few minutes he got up, opened his umbrella and walked towards home.
It wasn't surprising that a lot of people were staring at him on the way home, not only did his clothes look awful but probably his facial expression as well.
He probably looked pissed off , sad and tired .
One child even asked his parents if the man was feeling well. After 10 minutes of walking he was so fed up with it that he whispered to himself.
-Fuck-
Fuck all these people, they enjoy judging me because they are happy .
Or maybe I'm the weird one .
He finally reached the house. As he opened the door to the building, he folded his umbrella and lightly brushed off the rain from it.
If only there was an elevator here, that was all Inho needed right now. Unfortunately, he had to take the stairs to the sixth floor.
He met a neighbor on the way who immediately started the conversation .
- What happened to you? Is it raining so hard or have you been wandering around aimlessly again? -
- Sir, do I really look that bad? -
- I'd like to tell you no, but then I'd be lying.
Is something wrong? You usually look similar, but not this... bad-
- Sir.. My li-
Life
Inho stopped himself just in time. He rightly told some old man that he hated his life.
- As you can see, it's raining heavily. Please be careful sir. -
- I know. You need to change and eat something good, preferably some soup! You might get sick. -
Inho replied as quickly and simply as he could .
- Ok, goodbye sir. -
As he slowly made his way upstairs, his phone rang again.
Inho, thinking it was his brother Junho again, ignored the call and walked to the door of his apartment. He entered the code to the apartment and closed the door behind him.
After he decided to see who was calling, he took out his phone and unlocked it.
When he saw the number that was calling, he immediately got scared.
Money idiots
That's what he called the idiots he borrowed money from. Sometimes he wondered if it was a good idea to have their boss saved that way, but he never changed it.
They probably called him to ask for the money he borrowed from them, but Inho, no matter how scared he was, couldn't do it.
He didn't fight back once and he knows that the consequence was that he was beaten. Even knowing that he might be beaten, he couldn't lose the money now.
Before he could call back, he saw an incoming call .
Money idiots
Even though he was afraid, he picked up.
- Woah, you finally answered! I thought someone had killed you before I did. -
Inho remained silent .
- I think you know perfectly well why I'm calling, right? -
He replied in a frightened voice.
- Y.. Yes.-
-That's perfect. I'm already nice enough to have let you off the hook once, but I'm not going to do it now. If you don't pay me back, you'll be in the hospital just like your wife, or worse.-
- Don't bring my wife into this, you son of a bitch.-
Only after he said it did he realize what he had said.
- N..no! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry, d..don't kill me..-
- I'm sure that's exactly what you meant, but this is the first time you've been brave enough to say it. Trash like you are always the same. You have to give me my money back tomorrow. If you don't, i won’t be gentle.
- Y..Yes I will , i promise . -
- Your promises are never worth anything, but you better be prepared if you don't intend to return the money tommorow.-
He hung up before In ho could say anything.
Inho's hands were shaking and his phone fell to the floor.
- If I give them the money then... -
Inho crouched on the floor and put his hands on his face.
- I can't... But I need to give them the money or ill..-
Die
Slowly getting up from the ground, Inho went towards his room to get some fresh, not wet clothes.
Once he did it, he went to the bathroom to take a shower. It might not make him forget about his problems and life, but a warm or even slightly hot shower would be perfect.
When he entered the bathroom, he took off his soaked clothes and put them in the laundry basket. He didn't even care that everything in the basket got wet, including the basket. If he cared about such things, he wouldn't even survive a day in his everyday life.
Inho turned on the shower to warm it up and looked at himself in the mirror. When he saw what he looked like, he was no longer surprised why people were staring at him.
He looked as if he hadn't slept for several days and had drunk several cups of coffee.
After looking at himself in the mirror for a while, he stepped into the shower and was immediately doused with perfectly warm water.
It was probably the only perfect thing that happened to him today, or even the perfect thing that happened this year.
Inho grabbed some shower gel and quickly washed up. He was so tired that he didn't wash his hair, just rinsed it with water.
Even though he was tired, he stood in the shower for a while because the feeling of warm water was very pleasant.
When he turned off the water he felt unpleasantly cold. It wasn't surprising, but it certainly didn't make him happier.
He quickly got out of the shower and wrapped his body in a towel, seeing his reflection again.
- Fuck, I want to smash this mirror. -
He turned away to avoid meeting his gaze and dried himself with a towel.
After that he took the clean clothes and put them on as quickly as he could because he was still feeling cold.
- Maybe I should apologize to her and Junho? No, I can't .. -
When he finished dressing, he left the bathroom so as not to see his reflection and went to get the shopping bag he had bought.
He took out instant noodles, soju and an open pack of cigarettes with a lighter, which he threw in the bag.
After that he went to the kitchen to prepare his dinner.
It was neither the healthy soup his neighbor had mentioned nor anything healthy that Jun ho had asked him to eat with him and their mother .
Inho boiled water, put the noodles and spices in a bowl and poured water over them.
Of course it wasn't his dream dish, but the smell of any food made him smile .
The smell of the food was so pleasant that it continued to stand in the kitchen for 5 minutes while the noodles was making.
These 5 minutes passed quite quickly.
As soon as the noodles was ready to eat Inho took the chopsticks and the bowl in his other hand to carry them to the table.
After reaching the table, he immediately placed the bowl on it , he took the chopsticks in his left hand and started eating .
Any average person wouldn't be that happy eating the cheapest instant noodles they could find in the store, but Inho was definitely not one of them.
- I wonder what she ate for dinner... I should have asked her when I was in the hospital. -
After 7 minutes, Inho ate and got up from the table. He took his bowl and chopsticks with him and put them in the sink.
Since he was home alone, he didn't have much to do, so he decided to go get his phone, which was still lying on the floor near the door .
When he picked up the phone, he wasn't greeted with pleasant news. No, he hadn't received any messages from those bastards or Jun ho.
The entire phone screen shattered.
When Inho saw this, he didn't know whether he was more angry or sad.
- How the fuck am I supposed to do anything on this phone now? I'd rather the fucking bathroom mirror looked like this than my phone. -
Inho got to his feet and went to sit on the couch. Even though he couldn't see much through the broken screen on his phone, he still intended to use it.
6:48 pm
Inho was shocked .
- What? There's no way it's that late, something must have broken when I dropped it.
He looked at the clock that hung on the wall near the door to his room.
6:49
- How is it already so late! Fuck...im so close to meeting this assholes..-
Turning his head from the clock, he clicked Kakaotalk .
Junho :)
- I should apologize..-
He clicked chat his with his brother and started writing.
Inho: Junho im sorry , Mom probably really wanted to see me, right?
He didn't have to wait very long for an answer.
Junho: Yes, and she always will. After your wife got sick, we never ate anything together, nor did you even meet her.
Inho: Im sorry, I don't want to worry her .
Junho: About what? She knows that your wife is sick.
Inho: Don't worry about me, please.
Junho: Why?
Inho didn't write anything more. He turned off his phone and decided to go to bed early, or at least lie down because he had nothing else to do alone.
He didn't really expect to fall asleep that early.
He entered his room and immediately went to the bed. After lying down and covering himself with the blanket, he finally felt tired.
- It's so early and it feels like 11pm. -
Inho he placed the phone on the floor and closed his eyes.
- I hope I don't dream about these bastards, the fact that I'll meet them tomorrow is bad enough.-
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