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Chapter Text

“When's Lloyd getting back again?” asks Kai as most of the Ninja gather round the table for lunch.

Lloyd and Misako had gone on a mother-son bonding trip, a mission to Kyoshi’s labyrinth where they were planning to explore an abandoned temple looking for some old artifact.

“Still one more week Kai,” groans Nya, “are you going to ask this every meal?”

Kai gives a small huff.

“What? Is our company not good enough for you?” teases Cole.

“No. I just wanted to know when he's back! It feels like he's been gone forever.”

The door to the dining room slides open to reveal Lloyd and Misako. “Aw, did someone miss me?” says Lloyd with a grin, but something about his voice is off, nasally, scratchy.

Kai was already closest to the door, but he gets up to greet Lloyd.

“You're back early.” says Wu with a frown. “Did something happen?”

“I guess you could say that…” says Misako. “Lloyd is sick.”

“It's just a cold… I'll be fi-” Lloyd's face freezes as he fights the urge to sneeze, but he isn't successful, body jerking forward as the sneeze sprays Kai, at the same time a small amount of green sparks form on his hands and shoot into the floor.

“Ew, gross!” moans Kai wiping his face.

Wu stands suddenly, knocking the table loudly as he does. He stares at Lloyd for a moment, eyes full of fear, before turning to look directly at Jay. Jay meets Wu's eyes, frowning slightly, utterly confused about why he had been singled out when Lloyd and Kai were the ones making a scene.

Wu turns back to the newcomers. “Misako, please take Lloyd to his room, and wait for me there.” His voice is stern, and laced with fear.

“Uncle… did I do something wrong?”

“No… just, it might not be a regular cold. Please, I'll explain everything, but I need you to leave this room.”

Lloyd and Misako leave, no one else moves, put on edge by Wu's sudden change in demeanor.

“Kai, go and take a shower, put all those clothes in the wash.”

“Can you tell me what's going on fir-”

“NOW!” bellows Wu.

“Fine…” says Kai before also leaving the room.

Wu takes a deep breath, running a hand down his face. “Pixal, Zane, I want you to disinfect everything Lloyd has touched since he got back.”

“But Sensei, we don't know what he has touched?” asks Zane.

“Then just disinfect everything!”

The two give each other a concerned look but start to stand.

“We can help.” offers Cole, also beginning to rise.

“No.” snaps Wu. “You three will go directly to the courtyard and wait for me there. I'll come and see you after I've checked on Lloyd.”

“At least let me finish my lunch.” says Jay as he lifts a fork towards his mouth. 

Suddenly the fork flies across the room, struck by Wu's staff. “Not. One. Bite.”

Jay gulps, accepting the fact he is going to need to abandon his lunch.

“Lloyd's going to be ok right?” asks Nya as she also gets up.

Wu lets out a sigh. “I believe so. I will explain, please wait for me outside.” He glances at Jay again before leaving the room.

~~

Outside three impatient ninja try to pass the time. Nya is pacing, Cole is bouncing pebbles off the wall. Jay is sitting on the steps, leg bouncing away.

“Did anyone else see the way Wu looked at me back there?” asks Jay. He was used to being the subject of Wu's rage, but he normally knew why he had earned it. Breaking something, stuffing up training, running his mouth. But this time he just can't figure out what he did.

Cole cocks his head slightly. “Yeah… he did seem a little fixated on you now that you mention it.”

“Forget Jay for a moment!” says Nya, lifting her hands energetically.

“Hey!” complains Jay.

Nya ignores him. “Does Lloyd have the plague or something? Zane and Pixal are nindroids, that's why they're the ones cleaning right?”

“Better them than us.” says Jay, folding his arms.

Nya let's out a frustrated growl. “Could you think of someone other than yourself for a second!”

“Hey!” Cole steps between the two. “We're all freaked out ok, but can we try not to panic until after Wu gets back?” Jay gives a small huff and Nya crosses her arms. “I thought you two were meant to be in love or something?” Cole says with a roll of his eyes.

“That doesn't mean we can't fight!” say Jay and Nya in unison, before staring daggers at each other for a moment. Even when they were bickering, they were somehow still in sync. Nya lets out a huff and goes back to pacing.

A knot of uncertainty twists inside Jay's stomach.

It doesn't take long before Wu comes out to see them, he is wearing a half mask, which is unusual for him.

“Thank you for waiting.” 

The three ninja line up to face him.

“What's going on?” asks Jay.

“Is Lloyd going to be ok?” says Nya over the top of him. 

“Shhh, let him speak.” Says Cole, pushing his way to stand between the two before they glare daggers at each other again.

Wu clears his throat. “Unfortunately my assumption has proven correct. It seems that Lloyd has somehow contracted elemental fever.”

“Never heard of it.” says Jay, frown spreading on his face. It still felt like Wu was looking at him more than the others.

“Is it dangerous?” asks Nya.

“Yes.” says Wu. “For elemental masters it can be quite dangerous indeed, some more than others.” He glances at Jay again, and Jay swallows nervously.

“Why? What does it do?” asks Cole.

“It is a type of infection, the main symptom of which is a high fever for multiple days. It is usually accompanied with a cough and other flu-like symptoms.”

“So it's just a bad cold?” asks Jay hopefully.

Wu shakes his head. “For elemental masters it also has the unique effect of reducing control over one's element, and also severely reduces immunity to one's element.”

“Is that why you keep looking at me?” asks Jay.

Wu nods. “Lighting is the worst pairing with this disease, while it is dangerous for everyone, for you… the chance of death is much higher.”

“Death??” Squawk Nya and Cole in unison, Jay is too stunned to speak.

“You sure Lloyd is going to be ok?” asks Cole with worry.

“I believe so.” says Wu without hesitation. “His element, well, it won't be pleasant, but he should be fine. He is also part oni which will help.”

“What about Kai??” says Nya, “Lloyd sneezed right on him!”

Wu sighs. “After Jay, Kai is the one I am most worried about, hopefully that exposure is not enough to transfer the illness. We will just have to wait and see.”

There is an uncomfortable silence as the three ninja process Wu's words.

“What now?” says Jay, finally breaking the silence.

“You will go and stay with your parents until this is all over.” says Wu to Jay.

“You want me to run away?”

“I want you to stay safe, staying here… the risk is too great.”

“And the rest of us?” asks Nya.

“Pixal and Misako don't have an element, they are fine to stay. Zane is a nindroid, so I am hoping he will be immune. Kai… well unfortunately he has already been exposed, so he should stay here for monitoring. You two are free to stay or leave as you choose. Your elements are less risky than the others.”

“ They get to choose?” grumbles Jay.

“Yes.” says Wu.

“But I don't get any say?”

“No.” Wu looks him dead in the eye, the intensity is fierce, a mix of rage and sadness.

Nya lifts a hand out to Jay's shoulder. “Surely staying with your parents for a few days won't be that bad?”

“Yeah? So you'd be fine going to stay with yours then?” snaps Jay. He knew Nya had been struggling to bond with her mum since they got back. He watches her flinch and immediately regrets it. “Sorry…” he says more gently, placing his hand over hers. “I think I'm just a bit freaked out.”

She nods.

“If you stay, none of you will be permitted to see Lloyd, and contact with Kai should be minimised. I would recommend playing it safe.” says Wu.

“I'm sure my parents would be thrilled to have you at the junk yard.” says Jay to Nya. “You know… if you wanted a different option?”

Nya hesitates, thinking it over. Eventually she lets out a sigh. “Fine, I guess it doesn't make much sense to stay here.” she finally admits.

“You'd be welcome too Cole.” adds Jay.

Cole looks deep in thought. “Nah, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of you two lovebirds. I think I'll stay for now, but I might go see my dad tomorrow.”

Wu nods. “Would you mind packing a bag for Jay?” he asks Cole.

“What, I'm not even allowed back inside?”

“No, you are not.” says Wu sternly. “If I catch you inside these walls before the illness is gone, you will be expelled as my student.”

“But-”

“Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes master.” says Jay sadly.

“Now, I must prepare some tea for Lloyd.” Master Wu turns around to head back inside.

“He's joking right?” asks Jay to the other two.

“He seemed pretty serious…” says Nya.

“I was not joking!!” bellows Wu from inside the building.

“I thought hearing was meant to get worse with age?” complains Jay.

Cole snorts. “I'll go pack your stuff.” He grips Jay on the shoulder, “don't worry, I won't forget Mr. Cuddlywump.”

“Mr. Who?” asks Nya.

Jay groans in frustration.

~~

Lloyd waited fearfully in his room with Misako for Wu to come back. Wu had asked lots of detailed questions about how the illness had started, and what exactly his symptoms were. It felt like an interrogation. At the end he had instructed Lloyd, “Under NO circumstances are you to leave this room until I get back.”

He sounded scared, which meant this was serious.

“It's going to be ok.” assures Misako, putting an arm on his shoulder, obviously sensing his worry.

Lloyd sighs, unconvinced. He didn't feel great, but no worse than a bad cold. Hopefully Wu was just freaking out over nothing. But Wu usually made a molehill out of a mountain, not the other way around.

The door slides open revealing Wu with a tray of tea.

Lloyd pushes himself up from where he was leaning on the headboard. “Uncle, what's going on?” 

“I think we are all in need of some calming tea.” says Wu.

Lloyd sighs again, he wanted answers, not tea, but takes the cup as it is offered, staring down into his lap.

“I'm sorry if I seemed panicked before…” says Wu gently, “you are going to be ok Lloyd.” Lloyd lifts his gaze up to Wu. “You have elemental fever. This disease is more dangerous to some elemental masters than others, but for you… it won't be pleasant, but you're going to be fine. I promise.”

Lloyd nods. He feels the comforting warmth of the tea in his hand. “What about Kai?” he asks. There was a reason Wu had ordered him out of the kitchen, why he had dashed off after the interrogation. If he wasn't worried about me, then he must be worried about someone else.

Wu hesitates, and Lloyd's stomach flips. “Hopefully that brief exposure isn't enough to catch the disease.”

“And if it is?” Misako asks, her worry also evident.

“Fire could be tricky.” admits Wu.

“Why? What even is elemental fever?”

“Elemental fever is an infection that reduces the victim's ability to control their element, and also takes away their immunity to their element. Kai, well he is likely to set fire to things and may burn himself. All while running a high fever.”

Lloyd looks down at his arms. Green sparks had been periodically forming on them, running up or down, but it didn't hurt, at least not yet.

“Kai isn't who I'm most worried about.” admits Wu glumly. “So just be thankful you didn't sneeze on Jay.”

Lloyd frowns at that, mentally running through each of his friends and how dangerous their element would become without immunity. 

Ice. Well that would be more of a problem if Zane was human. A nindroid getting too cold didn't sound like a permanent problem.

Water. Nya would what? Just be wetter than normal? That didn't sound too bad.

Earth. Lloyd somehow doubted that elemental fever would be able to make Cole throw a boulder at himself.

Fire. He could see the dangers with that, as Wu had explained.

Lighting. Exposure to electricity could cause a heart to stop. Even if it didn't, it was extremely painful, could cause burns, affect the brain… Lloyd swallows nervously.

“Jay and Nya are going to go stay with his parents until this is all over.” says Wu, and Lloyd feels himself relax slightly. “You weren't in the room for long, and I ordered them outside straight away. I highly doubt he has contracted the disease.”

“I'm sorry…” says Lloyd. “I brought it here.”

“You didn't know.” says Misako, putting an arm on him again.

~~

The next morning Cole bumps into Kai in the hallway. “Aren’t you meant to be in your room?” Wu had put Kai on lockdown.

“But I’m fine!” hisses Kai, trying not to be too loud and grab Wu’s attention.

“Come on man, it’s only for a few days.” Kai huffs and grumpily folds his arms. “I know, how about we move the TV into your room?” asks Cole.

Kai softens slightly. “Ok fine.”

The two go and grab the TV and game console, cables dragging along the ground as they take it to Kai’s room. Kai sits on the bed as Cole fights with the mess of cables, trying to get things to fit on Kai’s desk. He had tried to help at first but quickly realised that this was a situation where more hands weren’t actually helpful, so had backed off, sitting there, giving deliberately bad advice to try and annoy Cole.

“Have you tried the blue one?”

“There isn’t any blue one!”

“What about the purple one?”

“Seriously dude, are you colour blind or what? Maybe that’s why you thought you were meant to be the green ninja…”

Kai chuckles at that. “Oh burn… and here I thought I was the master of fire.”

“Aha! Finally.” Cole attaches the last cable and the TV comes to life, displaying the menu for the game they had last been playing.

“What is going on in here?” Master Wu is suddenly at the door looking at them both disapprovingly.

“Kai was bored.” says Cole, “so we were setting up the TV.” He is unsure what they have done wrong, were they not meant to move it?

“Kai is meant to be in lockdown.”

“I’m in my room, just like you asked.” says Kai defensively.

Wu groans, running a hand down his face. “The point of a lockdown is to keep you separate from others who might not be infected yet.” Wu gestures to Cole.

“But I’m not sick yet!” says Kai. “I thought the point was to keep me away from Lloyd?”

“I was just setting up the TV.” adds Cole. “Wasn’t going to stay and watch a full movie.”

“I would hope not.” says Wu sternly. When no one moves he adds, “Out!” glaring at Cole, while pointing to the door. Cole sighs and leaves the room. “Kai, if you need anything else, I’m sure Pixal would be able to assist.”

Kai sighs, falling backwards onto his bed.

Cole goes back to his room and starts packing a bag. He wanted to stay and try to support the others. Comfort Lloyd, try and keep Kai distracted, but if Wu wasn’t even going to let him be in the same room as them, well, Nya was right. There really wasn’t much point in staying. “I can call Kai from my dad’s place just as easily as the living room.” he mutters to himself. And maybe my absence will help Wu stress a little less.

~~

Lloyd is laying in his bed shivering. He clutches his comforter, but it isn't enough, he still feels so cold, even though he knows his body temperature is higher than normal right now.

He coughs, feeling the familiar tingle of his powers as they circulate through his arms. Wu is sitting beside him sipping at a cup of tea.

“Times like this I kinda wish I knew more about my powers…” says Lloyd.

“What do you mean?” asks Wu with curiosity.

“Like I'm the green ninja, but what even are my powers? Green isn't an element?”

Wu looks at him dumbfounded. “You mean to tell me you have been using your powers all these years, and you don't even know what they are?”

“Well you never told me!”

“Well, I didn't think I needed to? Didn't your father explain it to you?”

Lloyd sighs, pausing as he endures another round of coughing. “Back when it was golden he explained a lot of things… but gonna be honest, I wasn't very good at listening back then, and half of it didn't make sense anyway.”

Wu chuckles. “Ah yes, you've grown a lot since then.” He pauses, taking a long sip of his tea. “What do you think your powers are?”

“Um, Chen called it power. I'm master of power? But how is that different to lightning? I did think I was the master of green lightning for like a week after that, but watching Jay… it's quite different.”

“Different how?”

“I dunno, my power isn't as, um, jittery? It stays closer to my fist? Travels straighter?”

“So kind of like Kai?”

Lloyd laughs, “yeah, which is why after I ruled out green lightning I thought it might be green fire, but that didn't fit either.”

“There is only one of each element.”

“I know that now! So what is it, what's my element called?”

Wu strokes his beard. “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

“What?”

“You don't need to know the name of something to understand it.” 

Lloyd sighs, “but it would be nice to know what to call it.”

“Hmm,” Wu strokes his beard again, “yours is hard to describe, but the closest approximation is probably life.”

“Life? I'm the master of life?” Wu nods. Lloyd pulls his hands out from the covers and watches as the green glow passes through them once more. “Is that why it doesn't hurt?”

Wu nods. “Your power comes from within, it won't hurt you.”

“Wait… does it not hurt other people either? When I shoot off an energy blast, am I like healing them?”

Wu laughs, “What? Not at all. Your life energy is no good to anyone but yourself. Also your status as green ninja means you have a special connection to some of the other elements. When you use your powers you control it, transform it into energy, into a weapon. Right now you can't control it, so it's stuck circulating as raw ‘life’.”

Lloyd lets out a sigh of relief. He decides to rest his eyes for a bit as he was so tired. After a few minutes they shoot open again. “Wait! Does that mean every time I use my powers, I like age? Or use up some of my life??”

Wu pauses before answering. “I don't think so?”

“You don't know? ” This was honestly scarier than having elemental fever. Lloyd could feel his life, or rather every time he had used his life, flashing before his eyes.

“Honestly, the thought had never crossed my mind. But Lloyd, even if it does, the effect would be very marginal. And even then, you are part oni, your lifespan will be long, you have nothing to fear.”

“You're sure?”

“Pretty sure.” Wu reassures. “But I'll look into it for you, see if I can confirm.”

Lloyd closes his eyes once more. “Ok uncle…” he mutters. He was going to have to worry about that later. Right now his body needed rest.

~~

In the junkyard Jay had made some dummies out of scrap and was training, mostly with his element. Shooting lightning at them from lots of different angles and positions. Control. It takes away control… Lightning was already difficult to control. It wasn’t like Kai’s fireballs, it didn’t travel in a straight line. Jittering this way and that, looking for the quickest path to ground, which was unfortunately usually through Jay himself. Although it had become second nature, it took a great deal of effort to block the lightning’s path down through his legs and force it out of his hands towards his targets. It had taken him a long time to master, he had shocked himself quite a few times during the early days. But even then you had immunity… If this disease could weaken his control, then he needed to make sure it was as strong as possible to start with.

Nya comes back into view and hangs up her phone. Jay finishes the set then goes over to her. “Any news?”

She sighs. “Not really. Unless Kai being bored out of his mind counts as news.”

“So he's not sick yet?”

Nya shakes her head. “Not yet.” he watches her hands fiddle with the phone, eyes distant, mind churning.

“And Lloyd?” 

“The same. High fever, powers going a bit haywire, but he’ll get through it.”

Jay sighs. He hated this, hated just waiting and doing nothing. He was glad that Nya was here with him, if he had been here on his own, well, his anxious thoughts were prone to spiralling.

“I just wish there was something we could do.” says Nya, as if she could read Jay’s mind.

“Yeah.” agrees Jay. “I’ve never been good at waiting.”

~~

Misako gently wipes the sweat from Lloyd’s forehead. His fever had continued to get worse.

“Sorry.”

“What for?” croaks Lloyd before coughing, green sparks running along his arms.

She waits for him to finish before answering, concern resting on her face. But Wu was sure he would be fine, they just needed to wait it out. “This probably isn’t the sort of mother-son-bonding you were looking forward to.”

Lloyd shrugs slightly, shifting the blankets around him. “Not exactly… but it’s nice, you being here.”

Lloyd didn’t have much experience with being sick. He would watch colds bounce through the rest of the team, but most winters he got through with barely a sniffle. Now that he knew that he was part oni, he wondered if that had something to do with it. It was not like he had never been sick, he could remember a couple of times when he was much younger, but it was uncommon for sure. He sighs, remembering his time back at Darkly’s.

“You alright?” asks Misako.

“Yeah, just…” he is interrupted by another cough, “I don’t get sick very often.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

Lloyd pauses, deciding if he should tell her what was on his mind. “Um, when I was at Darkly’s, I tricked a sick kid into spitting in my drink.”

Misako blinks, “Whatever for?”

“Well, um, when the other kids got sick, the school would call their parents. Sometimes their parents would take them home for a few days, or they would come and visit, or at least get a phone call…”

Misako looks down guiltily. “Right… so you tricked a kid to spit in your drink?”

“Yeah.” Lloyd laughs, triggering another small cough. “I couldn’t just ask him to do it, that would make me seem super weak, so what I did was plant the idea for a way to prank me, make the other kid feel like he got one over on me, when actually it was exactly what I wanted. It also gave me the perfect reason to prank him back. Win-win.” Lloyd sighs. “Didn’t work though, I drank the whole thing, and, nothing! Perfectly fine.”

“Why didn’t you just fake being sick?”

“You think I didn’t try? Ha! That poor nurse had to put up with almost every kid trying to pull a sickie every other week. She knows her stuff, no way you can trick Brenda.”

“I’m sorry, I should have been better at staying in touch.”

There is a pause before Lloyd answers. “Yeah, but you’re here now, right? I’m not hallucinating from the fever?”

Misako smiles, wiping down his brow once more. “Yes, I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“The point I was trying to make was, well, this still counts as mother-son-bonding.”

Misako chuckles at that. “I suppose it does.”

Lloyd closes his eyes, thinking back further through his memories, to a time when he was feverish as a young child. Misako was there beside him, he was lying in a lukewarm bath, and he felt awful. She had given him some medicine and they were waiting for it to work, waiting for his fever to go down.

‘Mum, tell me a story?’ he had asked, desperate for a distraction.

‘What kind of story?’ she had asked.

‘The one with the hero…’ Misako often told him stories about an unnamed hero. Lloyd loved to imagine that the hero in the stories was his father. The reason that he wasn’t around very much was because he was off doing important hero things.

‘Once upon a time, there was a brave hero…’

Lloyd opens his eyes again and looks up at his mother. She catches his gaze. “I thought you might have fallen asleep.”

“Do you remember those stories you used to tell me? About the hero?” asks Lloyd.

Misako smiles warmly. “Now that takes me back…”

“The hero didn’t have a name, but the way you told the stories made me think you knew who he was?”

Misako lets out a small chuckle, “I guess you could say that.”

“It was dad, wasn’t it?”

Misako turns to look at him with slight surprise. “Actually… it was supposed to be you.”

“Me?” Lloyd can’t help but cough again. He shudders, feeling the green energy circulate. It still didn’t hurt, but it felt weird. A part of him moving about in ways it shouldn’t.

“Yes, the hero I always knew you would become. Kind, and brave, and strong. A role model that you could look up to, because I knew your parents weren’t doing a great job at being that role model… I-” she pauses, letting out a huff of air. Lloyd reaches out a hand towards her, and she takes it. “I’m so proud of you Lloyd, you’ve become a fine hero, even without me there to guide you. A hero that so many look up to, one that I’m sure gets mentioned in bedtime stories to kids all over Ninjago.”

Lloyd coughs again. “It’s a lot to live up to…”

“Such is the life of a hero.”

They sit in silence for a moment, still holding hands.

“Mum?” asks Lloyd. “Tell me a story?”

She looks down at him, small smile on her face. “Once upon a time, there was a brave hero…”

Chapter Text

Kai wasn't enjoying quarantine. He was so friggin bored! Pixal brings him meals and periodically checks he doesn't have a fever. Now that Cole has gone, Wu does let him out of his room occasionally, so he runs laps around the courtyard whenever his body gets too restless. 

He doesn't see Zane much, working on something in the lair. Wu and Misako took turns being with Lloyd. Kai could hear him coughing through the walls.

He called Nya (and Jay, if she put her phone on loudspeaker), and Cole just for something to do, but they quickly ran out of things to talk about as they were all stuck doing nothing. Just in different locations.

To try and fill the time at least he had the TV. He started off working through his favourite video game. It was a fantasy setting, lots of quests, but after a while even that felt like a chore. His mind didn't want to focus on it. He lets out a sigh, and decides to swap to movies. He calls up Nya, asking for recommendations and somehow gets in an argument with Jay over the best Starfarer movie. So now he was stubbornly committed to watching all of them, just so he could point out the flaws to Jay later.

By the second movie he is starting to feel cold, which is ridiculous for this time of year, but maybe winter was coming early? He closes his window and pulls on a hoodie before settling back into the bed. It doesn't seem to help very much, and so he pulls up his blankets, wrapping himself in a cozy cocoon. That felt better, or maybe too cozy as he lets out a yawn.

My arm is warm… no, HOT! Kai's eyes shoot open as he wakes up to see the blanket he had wrapped himself in was on fire.

“Argh!” he yells incoherent nonsense as he rips the blanket off him, throwing it onto the floor. His sleeve is still alight, so he uses his other hand to pat it out, then jumps up to stomp on the blanket which was still burning. It doesn't take long before all the flames are gone.

There is the sound of rapid footsteps, and his door sliding open. “Kai, are you alright?” Pixal looks between Kai and the charred blanket beneath his feet.

Kai stands there frozen, trying to process what just happened. “Yeah? I think so?” He starts coughing, there was a fair amount of smoke in the room.

Pixal comes over to him and places a hand on his forehead. “You have a fever.” she says disapprovingly. “And your arm is burned.” She traces her hand down to his left arm, some of the hoodie’s sleeve remained, but not much.

Kai stares at his arm in disbelief. It had been a bloody long time since he had burnt himself. “Shit. Guess I caught it after all.” Now that he was waking up properly he could notice the achyness present in all of his limbs, the weariness in his mind, and that's probably why he felt cold too. Now that the blanket was gone he had started shivering.

“Come on,” says Pixal gently, “we need to treat that burn, and get you somewhere with less flammable objects. Zane has been preparing a space in the lair, just in case.”

Oh. That's why I haven't seen Zane… “Sure Pix.” says Kai glumly, as he allows himself to be led out of the room.

~~

Jay and Nya had been competing to see who could throw something the furthest from the top of the tallest junk pile. Any object was allowed, obviously they wouldn't be able to throw a car very far (thankfully Cole wasn't playing), but choosing something too light just got blown away, slowed down by the breeze.

They had started with just ball-ish shaped lumps. Jay thought he got the upper hand with a spear like object, but then Nya had launched a hubcap like a frisbee which went all the way over the outer wall.

Jay had then spent a decent amount of time folding a sheet of metal into something resembling a paper airplane, but had fumbled the first throw. He climbed down off the pile to retrieve it for another attempt.

When he turned around to head back up, he saw Nya on the phone, gesturing angrily, frustrated scowl on her face. He sighs, they always called Nya with the updates, not him. Like he couldn't be trusted to not freak out. Like he needed some sort of buffer. He lets out a huff as he climbs back up. It was probably just because Kai was the one most at risk right now. He was her brother, of course they would call Nya.

He catches the trail end of the conversation as he gets closer. “Ok. Ok… just, keep me updated.” She lowers her arms with a defeated sigh.

“So, he caught it?” asks Jay, because what else could her reaction possibly mean?

“Yeah… he fell asleep in front of the TV and his arm caught fire.”

Jay struggles to contain a giggle at the image. “Sorry, sorry… is he ok?”

“Yeah, the burn isn't too bad.”

“Wait, he actually got burned?” All of the mirth from before was now gone, replaced with guilt and fear.

“Yeah, it weakens immunity Jay… He's fine for now, but they are really worried about the fever. Lloyd’s has been really high, and he isn't the element of fire…” Jay reaches over to put a hand on her shoulder. “Should I go back?” she asks, looking up at him.

“Does he want you there?” asks Jay.

“Well… no. He doesn't want me to get sick too.”

“Then you should stay here.”

“But-”

“Look, I know you're worried, but Zane is the master of ice! If anyone can keep Kai cool, it's Zane. Misako, Wu, Pixal, they're all going to take care of him.”

“Yeah. I know. I just… I'm scared Jay.” She leans into his embrace.

“Is Lloyd improving yet?” She shakes her head and Jay lets out a sigh, suddenly uninterested in hurling garbage.

~~

Kai had gotten worse. Zane had gone from occasionally patting Kai down with a fire blanket, and applying ice packs, to full time using his powers to try and keep Kai cool. His fever was way worse than Lloyd, his entire body radiating heat and periodically trying to set itself ablaze.

Kai had been conscious at first, but was now pretty out of it, occasionally muttering incoherently. Talking to people that weren't there, like Nya, he kept mentioning Nya. Telling her to go inside, it's not safe, eat your dinner, don't be scared, I'm here, don't forget your lunch. When he was a bit more lucid, he asked where she was, was she safe? He asked about Lloyd, was he getting better yet?

It took a great deal of focus for Zane to use his powers to regulate Kai's heat. He couldn't make him too cold, as that could be equally damaging, but too hot and his mind would melt, other organs at risk of failure as well. The medications had only a minimal impact, without Zane and his ice, well, things could quickly go from bad to worse.

Zane can't remember when he last slept, was it yesterday? Or the day before? Pixal had urged him to rest, but he couldn't stop, couldn't leave Kai until the fever broke.

They had some temperature sensors taped to his chest, although Pixal had already needed to repair one after it got burnt.

Zane checks each of the icepacks are still cool, re-freezing them with his element before putting them back in place. He then goes back to running his hands over Kai's arms, legs, forehead. His cooling touch creating steam near constantly.

He was so tired.

“Zane, his core temperature is rising again.” says Pixal from the computers. She was monitoring the output of the temperature sensors.

“Again?” says Zane with concern, he thought things were finally under control. His method had kept Kai stable for a while now, although it had been getting harder. Each burst of ice taking just a bit more effort. He runs a hand over Kai's arm once more, but barely any steam comes off at all. Something didn't feel right. He lifts the hand in front of his face, trying to summon some ice, but nothing happens. “Pixal… I can't…”

Alarms start popping up in his vision. SYSTEM TEMPERATURE WARNING. CHECK COOLANT SYSTEM.

“Zane? Are you ok?”

Zane feels his knees give way as he slumps forward, catching himself on the table. “No, I… overheating…” he can barely get out the words, neural processors starting to shut down in order to protect themselves.

Pixal’s hand is suddenly on his forehead. “Zane, you are too warm. I told you you needed to rest.”

His arms are the next things to give out, he feels Pixal catch him as he slips from where he had been leaning on the table. “Help… Kai…” he manages to say as the room starts to blur.

SYSTEM SHUTDOWN IMMINENT. CHECK COOLANT SYSTEM.

“Zane!”

~~

Nya and Jay had been watching some TV in the Walker's caravan. Ed was out tinkering with something or other in the yard, and Edna had gone out for supplies.

Nya's phone rings so she mutes the TV before answering.

“Oh, hey Pix.” she says cheerily after glancing at the caller ID. It was normally Kai or Zane who called with updates.

“Nya…”

Nya immediately tenses at the tone, pulling herself out of the couch cushions, gripping the phone more tightly, like that would somehow allow her to hear better. Something was wrong.

“Zane… he collapsed. Either overheated from helping Kai, or nindroids aren't as immune to this disease as we thought.”

“Collapsed? Is he ok?” she feels Jay tugging on her elbow, pulling himself up too, worried eyes begging to be let in to what miserable news was being relayed.

“I don't know… it just happened… and Kai, without Zane to cool him, his temperature keeps rising, I don't know what to do.”

“His fever still hasn't broken?” Lloyd's had broken after 2.5 days, Kai was past that point already.

“No… Nya, he's getting worse. I- I don't know how much more he can take…”

“Pix, I'll be right there, ok? Just do what you can until then. Maybe a bath?”

“Shit. Nya, I have to go. He's seizing.”

“No! Pixal wait! He's what?” Nya yells into the phone but the line is dead. She pulls the phone out in front of her, confirming the call is disconnected.

“Nya?” asks Jay, voice laced with delicate worry. “What happened?”

Nya feels like she can't breathe. Staring at the blank screen that had betrayed her. “It's Kai… I have to go.” She couldn't sit still and wallow in self pity. She needed to move, needed to go. Nya jumps up off the couch, grabbing her bag and starting to shove things inside.

“What happened? Is he ok?” Jay hovers nervously, trying to stay out of her way as she packs, but desperate for information.

“He's overheating, Zane collapsed…”

“Zane did? Is he ok?”

“I don't know Jay!” she snaps, yelling at him. It wasn't his fault, but right now, she needed to go, not explain everything to Jay. She forces herself to take a breath. “But what I do know is without his ice… Kai could be in real trouble. My powers… I might be able to help.”

Jay nods. “I'm coming too.”

“Like hell you are!”

“But Nya-”

“No buts! Seriously Jay, do you want to be expelled by Wu? Kai could by dying… the last thing we need is another victim.”

“Then why are you going!” Jay raises his voice, and then regrets it, seeing her flinch. He was scared. Scared for Kai, scared for Zane, scared for Nya. He was so sick of everyone being worried about him when it was the others getting hurt, the others facing danger. Why did he deserve to be kept safe and sound while everyone else was exposed?

Nya pauses for a moment before saying softly “He's my brother Jay… I have to go.”

Jay's mouth hangs open, wanting to argue further, but knowing it was pointless. Her mind was made up, she was going, and he wasn't. “Wu said water should be fine, so I'm going.” She pauses her packing and reaches out to grip his shoulders, squeezing them tightly as she makes eye contact. “Promise me you won't go back to the monastery, promise me you'll stay here where it’s safe?”

“I-” Jay hesitates, he doesn't want to lie to her. Staying while she was here with him had been hard enough, without her…

“Jay, please! I need to know you'll be safe.”

“I promise.”

Her arms pull him into a brief embrace, warm and tight. “Thank you.” She whispers in his ear. Jay wishes he could stay in her arms forever, but she pulls away far too soon, grabbing her bag and heading out the door. Jay follows to see her off.

Ed wanders over. “Hey now, what's all the hubub?”

“I'm heading back.” Says Nya as she makes her way over to their vehicle.

“Oh, is everyone better?” asks Ed hopefully.

“No.” says Jay glumly. “Kai's worse.”

“Oh…” says Ed with a frown.

She pauses before closing the canopy. “Jay, I love you, stay safe.”

“I love you too, go help Kai, and CALL ME!” he yells the last bit as the vehicle closes. She gives a small wave before zooming away.

Jay watches as she drives away, and he can't shake the feeling that this felt like a proper goodbye, like this would be the last time he would see her alive and well, like he had made a terrible mistake in letting her leave. 

Logically he knew water shouldn't be too risky, he knew there was more reasons for her to go than stay, more reasons for him to stay than go, but his gut didn't always understand logic. And now he was here without her, without any of his friends… just a boy in a junkyard watching the best thing that had ever happened to him drive away into the sunset.

Without him.

“Don't go… please…” he mutters the words he couldn't say before, because they would only make her sad, make this harder than it already was.

A warm hand rests on his shoulder. “It's gonna be ok.” says Ed.

Jay turns towards Ed, clinging onto him like he used to when he was smaller. Warm arms wrapping around him, making him feel safe, protected. And thankfully these arms didn't pull away too soon. Tears trickle down his face, he wishes that this time it was just a scuffed knee, something that could be fixed with a bandaid and a kiss on the forehead.

“I hope so.” he mutters, as his dad squeezes him tighter.

~~

In Nya's defence, she did call Jay an hour after she got back. Giving details about Kai's seizure and the new plan for keeping him cool. She was wearing a mask whenever she was with him, but everyone sort of knew it wasn't going to be enough.

Zane had regained consciousness briefly, but it seemed like he was sick and not simply overexerted. His limbs were locked in place, joints frozen. His core temperature fluctuated between warm and feverish, or too cold. Pixal was doing what she could, but for now Zane had shut himself down to rest and hopefully recover.

Once his powers were behaving themselves again, then Pixal would have a much better chance at effective repairs.

~~

Jay ate his dinner glumly, his parents doing their best to lighten the mood. Constant chatter, a background noise to his despair.

Kai is sick.

Nya's going to get sick.

Kai could die.

Zane is sick.

Nya could die.

Zane could die.

The one bit of good news was Lloyd. He was improving significantly, no longer at risk, still fatigued and coughing, but powers obeying him, fever gone. He was going to be ok, just like Wu had said.

Jay snuggles into the blanket on the pull out couch. He had been sharing it with Nya, without her it felt so empty, her absence filling him with a cold dread. He squeezes Mr. Cudlywump, but it wasn't the same. Not bringing the usual comfort.

He didn't deserve to rest when he knew Nya would be up all night monitoring Kai, keeping him cool with her powers. If she wasn't sleeping it felt right that he would also keep vigil, staring uselessly at the ticking clock on the wall. 

Cause that's all I'm good for… waiting around for my friends to die.

Yeah, he definitely wasn't sleeping tonight.

Eventually he must have dozed off from exhaustion, in the early hours of the morning, as he wakes to the sound of his phone ringing. Jay bolts upright, a call meant news, and news wasn't always good… He grabs his phone in a sleepy panic, fumbles it, catches it, fumbles it again, and it ends up on the floor, new crack running through the screen. He groans in frustration as he picks it up, but is still able to answer, screen not damaged too bad.

“Hello?” Jay normally checked to see who was calling, but he was too distracted.

“Please tell me you are still at the junkyard.” He hears Cole on the other end.

Jay pinches his nose, letting out a sigh. This wasn't worth cracking my screen over… “Of course I'm still at the junkyard! Why does everyone assume I'm an idiot?” probably because I'd be back there already if they didn't keep telling me to stay away.

“Oh, thank goodness, I just heard Nya went back yesterday?”

“From who?”

“Lloyd called me. He didn't call you?”

Jay sighs, “no, my last update was Nya last night.” His phone starts buzzing with a second incoming call. “Oh, speak of the devil.”

“Ah, whoops. Ok, talk to Lloyd then call me back ok?”

“Ok fine.” Jay hangs up on Cole and answers Lloyd's call. “Jay Walker, yes I'm still at the Junkyard.”

“Um, what?” says Lloyd before coughing. It sounds muffled, like he had covered the mic with his hand.

“You were going to ask… may as well get it out of the way.”

He hears Lloyd sigh. “Yeah… Nya did want me to remind you to stay put. Wu too.”

Jay grinds his teeth. “Can everyone stop worrying about me for a second and let me know how everyone else is doing?”

“Right, yeah, that's why I called. Kai's fever started to go down this morning, it's still elevated, but he is requiring much less cooling, we think he's finally turned a corner.”

Jay sighs. “Oh thank goodness. What about Nya?”

“She's almost definitely exposed, but fine for now.”

“And Zane?”

“The same. Shut down for now. Pixal is looking after him.” Jay hears Lloyd start to cough again.

“And how are you doing?”

“Yeah, still fatigued and coughing, but it's just like a cold now, nothing like before. I'll be fine.”

“Yeah, you better…” grumbles Jay.

“You too Jay.” 

Jay rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah…”

“Seriously, look after yourself, and I’ll make sure Nya gives you a call later, after she’s gotten some sleep.”

“Thanks.” says Jay, letting out a sigh. “I’m glad Kai is doing better.”

“Yeah, me too. Anyway, talk later.”

“Sure, bye Lloyd.” The call cuts out, and Jay pulls the phone away from his face and stares at the crack in the screen. He traces his finger along it glumly, it felt like there was this huge divide separating him from everything that was going on at the monastery. A chasm that he couldn’t cross, a crack threatening to break him away from the team completely. Maybe I am the weakest link after all… unable to handle this disease, unable to be there when it really mattered.

Yeah, Cole and Lloyd had been right to hassle him about staying put. He lets out a deep sigh, shoving the cracked phone in his pocket. 

I promised Nya, so I’m going to stay right here.

Jay gets halfway through making breakfast before he remembers; oh shit, I was meant to call back Cole!

Chapter Text

After Zane collapsed, Pixal respected his wishes and tried to help Kai, but without Zane’s cooling touch, Kai’s temperature spiked incredibly quickly. It was suddenly very obvious how much Zane had been exerting himself to keep Kai’s fire and associated heat at bay. 

Pixal quickly called for help, but Kai was seizing before Wu and Misako had even made it down the lift. She ended up spraying Kai with a water based fire extinguisher and then using a fan to provide further cooling with evaporation. The seizure stopped and shortly after Kai’s unconscious form was taken away by Wu and Misako to go give him a bath, submerged completely in cool water. Nya had called from the car, she was on her way back, they simply needed to keep Kai cool until then.

Pixal watched him go and then turned back to Zane who lay like a discarded doll on the floor. Stiff and lifeless. She got him up onto the bench and began her inspection. He was completely shut down, warm everywhere, but warmest at his energy core. She began running some diagnostics. As she did, Zane's temperature slowly began to drop. She ran some calculations based on the temperature of the room, his surface area, thermal conductivity of the table he was on… yes he was cooling in line with the rate expected given no additional thermal input. Was he running a fever, or simply overexerted?

As his core temperature dropped back into normal range Pixal hears a soft click, and then his bright blue eyes were open, blinking at her.

“Zane!” she exclaims with relief.

“Pixal? What… happened?”

“You overheated and collapsed approximately 17 minutes ago.”

“No, I mean… what happened with Kai… is he ok?”

“They are giving him a bath upstairs.” she wanted to say, you don’t have to worry, but Kai’s condition was still critical. She was worried, but Zane had already done everything he could.

She watches as Zane’s arm twitches, but does not move. “I cannot move.” states Zane slowly.

Pixal goes to examine his arm, it was cold, much colder than his core. She tries to shift it manually, but the joints were stiff, frozen in place. She sees ice crystals poking out from around the wrist. “It is frozen…” she states her findings.

“I do not… feel good.” states Zane, closing his eyes.

Pixal frowns, hearing a beep from the temperature probe, turning away from Zane to examine the data on the screen. His core temperature was rising alarmingly quickly. “Your arms are frozen, but your core is overheating again…” Maybe he was running a fever after all.

“Check… coolant… system…” mumbles Zane before going offline again.

~~

Kai tries desperately to keep his head above the raging water. Flowing currents trying to pull him under.

I can't swim!

His limbs flail, but it doesn't help, head bobbing under as he thrashes about. It's cold, and suffocating, a dark wet pressure, his powers useless.

Despair coils inside him. Fear and panic rising every time he needs to hold his breath, dark cold liquid covering his face.

I can't swim! I'm going to drown!

A hand reaches down towards him, he takes it eagerly, someone pulling him up towards the surface…

Kai slowly opens his eyes, and sees Nya staring at him. “Kai?” she asks gently, she sounds so tired. Kai frowns, wait, where am I? He realises he is sopping wet, lying in a half filled bath in his underwear. Oh, that's why I was dreaming about drowning… 

He pulls himself up into a seated position, feeling the water slosh about, trying to get some of his body out of the suffocating dampness. He knows it’s pathetic to not know how to swim by his age, but every time he had tried to learn… well the feeling of being surrounded by water just freaked him out. He barely tolerated showers, let alone baths.

“Nya?” He croaks looking at her again.

She reaches out a hand to his shoulder. “Your fever finally broke. We think you're going to be fine.” she looks at him with such a warm relieved smile.

Kai lets out a small sigh of relief, mind slowly waking up. “Am I, am I still dreaming? You're meant to be at the junk yard.”

Nya's smile falters slightly, Pixal had mentioned Kai was hallucinating about her. “You needed me.”

“Zane had it under control.”

“Zane collapsed.”

“What?”

“He's sick.”

“Sick? How can a nindroid get sick?” Kai coughs, feeling an ache in his chest, a throbbing in his head. He might be out of the woods, but not completely cured.

Nya shrugs. “How can a nindroid be an elemental master? The disease affects elements Kai.”

“He's going to be ok right?”

Nya nods. “Probably. He's a nindroid, if his body gets damaged, we can fix it. For now, well, Pixal is looking after him.” She sounded flat, tired.

“And you?” asks Kai, reaching out a hand to cup her face.

Nya sighs. “I almost certainly caught it, but Wu said water should be fine. I’m ok for now, a bit tired, but that's probably just because I've been up all night looking after you.”

Kai shakes his head. “You should have stayed with Jay.”

“Kai! You almost died! You were delirious, you had a seizure! I needed to come back, you needed me! My powers… I kept you cool when Zane couldn’t do it anymore.”

Kai's stomach twists with guilt. He looks down at his body, it felt like shit. Aches and pains everywhere. A few burns on his arms, and one on his chest. This disease was brutal, and now his little sister had it. 

Because of him. 

Because he wasn't strong enough to handle it on his own.

“I'm so sorry Nya…”

“About what? This isn't your fault.” He turns to her with worry. “I'm going to be fine! Don't worry.”

“I'm your brother. Of course I'm going to worry.” He lets out a deep sigh, which triggers another cough, "But can I please get out of the bath?”

~~

There was a time when Pixal had lamented over the fact that she wasn't an elemental master. Everyone else on the team was, so at times she felt like she wasn't a full member of the team. 

It hadn't helped matters that she had been without her body for a while, and when she did finally make a new one, she wasn't sure if they would welcome her back. That fear had been misguided, but in her absence it just felt like everyone else had grown closer, further cementing her position as third, or rather seventh, wheel.

She had thought, if she had an element, well, then she would be like them. Be like Zane and his ice, she would belong. But with time, even without an element she had found her place in the team, her role as Samurai X, tactical support, pilot, mechanic, medic, friend, lover… she had found her belonging, and she was grateful. Right now she was especially grateful to not be an elemental master, to be immune to this brutal disease. Able to help the sick, without fear of getting sick herself, and there weren't many skilled enough to help Zane.

Pixal was grateful that Nya had come back, she felt bad that Nya was now exposed to the disease, but she couldn’t do everything on her own.

Misako had been helping Nya with Kai, which left Wu to try and help Pixal with Zane. Honestly, his presence was not particularly helpful. Wu barely knew the names of the tools which she asked him to pass. For a moment she wished Jay had returned with Nya, he would be a lot more help in running diagnostics, figuring out what was wrong with Zane’s coolant system, if it was even broken… She still couldn’t believe that a biological agent had tampered with a mechanical system. She sighs, she couldn’t even call Jay for advice. If he knew she needed help, there would be no way to keep him away. They couldn’t risk it, Zane wouldn’t want to be the reason Jay got sick. And seeing what the disease had done to Kai… no she couldn’t call Jay about this.

Nya might be able to help her later, but for now Nya was resting after a long night with Kai. At least knowing Kai was doing better gave Pixal one less thing to split her attention.

Lloyd had come and tried to help for a while, still coughing, still sounding a bit like death warmed up. That hadn’t lasted long before Misako had come to insist he go and get some rest. “But I’ve been resting for days!” whines Lloyd as he is led away.

Zane’s temperature had continued to fluctuate. Every time his core activated, its temperature would go dangerously high, until the protection system switched everything off. He would slowly cool back down before the system attempted another reboot. Rinse and repeat. For now Pixal had blocked the reactivation attempts, which had so far kept the temperature stable, but meant Zane would be offline until she could figure out why it kept doing that.

His extremities on the other hand were frozen solid. Hands now encased in blocks of ice, feet not much better. She periodically removed what she could, not wanting it to overtake Zane’s entire body, and especially, not letting it approach the sensitive core processors which she knew housed his personality and memories.

“Check coolant system…” Pixal mutters the last words Zane had spoken. What did it mean? Was he just reading off the warnings as they popped up? Or was it actual advice for something he knew was wrong? She sighs once more. “Sometimes I wish you had bothered to write a manual…”

~~

Misako had helped to move the TV back into the lounge room. Lloyd, Kai and Nya huddled under blankets half watching what was on the screen. Lloyd was starting to get more energy, feel more like himself. Kai was still pretty rough, having moderate cold symptoms, but his powers were back under control. And Nya was on the phone to Jay.

“No Jay, you can’t come back yet, not until everyone is better… yeah I know it looks like it’s going to take longer than we first thought. Surely you can tolerate your parents for another week?... No, you need to keep away from Cole too, he spent half a day with Kai before he left… Yes I know he isn’t sick yet, but Wu wants to be cautious… Maybe you could go on patrol, in the city? … That’s the point Jay! A distraction might do you some good… I’m fine , you really don’t need to worry. What’s water even going to do, make me a bit wet? … Just stay put ok, I need you to stay safe… I love you too.”

Nya sighs as she hangs up, body slumping as she leans back into the couch.

“Liar.” says Kai.

“What?” asks Nya tiredly.

“You’re not fine.” He leans over and places a hand on her forehead. “You’re warm, warmer than me.”

“I know.” admits Nya, pulling the blankets up around her. “I’m just worried about him.”

“Worried about him? He’s the only one not at risk.”

“Not at risk? You don’t get it Kai! Getting him to stay away was hard enough when I was there with him, but now… What if he comes back? You saw what it did to you, imagine what lightning would do.”

“Jay knows the risks.” says Lloyd. “Even he isn’t stupid enough to come back.”

Nya is quiet for a moment. “I hope you’re right. I really hope you're right.”

Lloyd sighs. “I don’t think lying to him about how you are doing is going to make him worry less.”

“I’m fine!” objects Nya, “It’s not that bad yet. I’ll tell him, I will… just not yet. I don’t want him to worry just yet.” She starts shivering, so Kai reaches an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in.

“I’ll go get you some meds.” says Lloyd as he gets up.

~~

Nya quickly fades, a rattly cough settling in. She barely makes it to the end of the movie, eyes drooping, needing to be encouraged to go rest in bed. Pixal was finally satisfied that Zane was ‘stable’, leaving Wu to keep chipping away the ice, and had come upstairs to check on everyone else. She finds Kai sitting in Nya’s room, and is sure Kai would have stayed to watch over her all night long, but he was still sick too. She manages to convince him to go rest by offering to take his place by Nya’s bedside.

Nya’s rest is frequently interrupted by coughing fits, her breathing taking on a slight wheeze. Pixal had the foresight of bringing in a bucket, she gently rubs circles on Nya’s back as she leans over it, coughing, retching, drips of liquid coming out.

“Did you throw up?” asks Pixal gently when she finally stops.

Nya wipes a sleeve over her mouth. It was hard to tell how much of the liquid dripping down her face was sweat from the fever, or water from her powers. The sheets were getting quite damp, and Pixal knew she would need to change them soon. “I don’t think so Pix… it’s too clear.” She sounds exhausted, and Pixal takes the bucket so she can lean back into the pillows again.

“Hmm. It does seem to be mostly water. Do you think it is coming from your lungs?”

“I don’t know…” Nya coughs again.

“May I listen to your chest?” Nya nods, so Pixal runs a cool hand under the back of Nya’s shirt, feeling the vibrations similarly to a stethoscope. “Ok, please cough.”

“You want me to cough? Aren’t I doing enough of that all-” Nya interrupts herself with more coughing.

Pixal sighs, withdrawing her hand. “There seems to be some fluid buildup in your lungs. You should keep trying to cough out as much as possible.”

Nya gives a half hearted chuckle. “Water was meant to be fine! My powers are what? Creating water in my own lungs? This is bullshit.”

Pixal looks on with sympathy. “It will pass. Hopefully quicker than Kai.”

“My chest already aches Pix… I don’t want to do this for three days…” Nya reaches out for the bucket as she starts coughing again.

“I’ll call a doctor in the morning, get some advice.” She rubs at Nya’s back again as the coughing continues.

~~

By morning Nya was finally asleep, but her breathing wasn’t sounding great. The longer she slept, the more fluid built up, and the worse the coughing fit was when she eventually woke.

“It feels like I’m drowning…” she had lamented after a particularly bad session.

Kai had been with her since the morning. Pixal had set up a dehumidifier which seemed to be helping a little. Misako had gone off to the hospital to pick up some oxygen and a range of meds. Wu had been nervously pacing the halls, taking some shifts keeping Zane's ice in check, making people tea, listening to the never-ending backdrop of cough after cough after cough.

Lloyd had insisted on calling Jay, letting him know what was going on. He watched Nya strain herself to not cough while they had a brief conversation before passing the phone back to Lloyd.

“She’ll be ok Jay, we’re looking after her.” he tries to reassure.

“I know you are…” says Jay, “but you must understand how frustrating this is?”

“Oh believe me I do. She’s your Yang, of course you want to be here, but it’s not safe Jay, she doesn’t want you to come. She doesn’t want you to get sick too.”

“I know, I know…” Jay lets out a frustrated sigh. “I just feel so useless!”

“Maybe you could make her a card or something? Put together a care package? Get it delivered.” Lloyd stresses the last word, not wanting Jay to deliver it himself.

“Yeah… I guess I could try that.” says Jay half heartedly.

“I’ll call you again later ok?”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Stay safe.”

Jay hangs up, and Lloyd starts to wonder if Nya’s fear about him coming back might be justified. He brings up his chat with Cole, who had been having some issues with his mic, and quickly types out an update.

GreenBean: Worried about Jay. Distraction ideas?

DJRock: On it.

Chapter Text

Cole was sick, how he had managed to catch it from his fleeting interaction with Lloyd and limited time with Kai was beyond him. He now understood why Wu had been so frustrated to see them together in the same room, and why Jay wasn't allowed back in to pack his own bag… This disease was highly contagious. In hindsight he should have left at the same time as Jay and Nya, but it was too late for that now.

It wasn’t too bad… yet. He just felt like he had a bad cold. Mild fever, throat like sandpaper. Coughing, so much coughing. Ok, maybe ‘bad cold’ was under-selling it… His muscles kept spasming, his powers activating randomly, and not in sync with correct muscle groups. It hurt, so he was trying not to move around too much.

Compared to what everyone else was going through, muscle cramps were pretty minor. He didn’t want to worry them, didn’t want to draw attention, so he had claimed his mic was having issues. He took a call from Lloyd, and said absolutely nothing, hand clamped over his mouth in case he coughed. He listened to Lloyd ramble on for a bit with the typical “You there? Can you hear me? Helllllooo?”

Then hung up. Texted Lloyd a could you hear me? Then called him back and repeated the same procedure for good measure. He did feel guilty about the deception, but it was only until Nya was better, then he would say something.

He re-reads the text from Lloyd.

GreenBean: Worried about Jay. Distraction ideas?

Cole furrows his brow, tapping the corner of his phone against his chin as he thinks through options. Which would be so much easier if his brain didn't feel like wet mush.

Everyone was sick except for Jay. Jay, the one who gets easily anxious and would be desperate to go back to the monastery in order to comfort Nya. What Jay needs is a mission, some sort of criminal disaster to make him feel useful. Something to show him that he was doing a noble thing by staying healthy, because someone had to look after Ninjago while everyone else couldn’t.

Simply suggesting he go on patrol hadn’t worked, and if he did and found nothing, well, it wouldn’t distract him for very long.

Cole pulls up the Police Commissioner on his phone and taps call.

“Hello?” comes the gruff voice after only a single ring.

“Um, hi. It’s Cole.” Cole hated making phone calls, tried to avoid it as much as possible. The fact that he was sick, and his head felt a bit like it was full of cotton wool wasn’t making it any easier to choose the right words.

“I know who you are! I have all of the ninja contacts saved in my phone. Why are you calling? Is the city in danger?” Blunt and to the point. This guy was always so serious, even about his hobbies.

“Um, I sure hope so…”

“What?” The commissioner doesn’t sound impressed. “You hope the city is in danger?”

“What I mean is, I was hoping you might have a mission? For Jay?” Cole pulls the phone away slightly from his face as he starts to cough.

“For Jay? What for? Are you sick?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit sick right now, but Jay isn’t, and well, um, we just need something to keep him busy for a while is all.”

“I’m not a babysitter.”

“And Jay isn’t a baby! Surely you have some cold case you can let him help with, a minor criminal he can chase down?”

“Hmmm…” There is a pause as the commissioner considers the offer, Cole can hear some background noise.

“Is that Jay, are you talking about the ninja Jay??”

“Um, where are you right now?” asks Cole.

“Hmm? Oh, I am currently doing an inspection over at Kryptarium. Fugidove here has been completely fixated on Jay since he was brought in. Wants some sort of rematch.”

“Jay wants a rematch??” Cole hears the excitement, despite it being muffled background noise.

“Well that’s perfect!”

“How so?”

“Ok, so, hear me out… what if you just, like, let him escape?”

“No.”

“You haven’t even heard the full plan yet, you let him escape, Jay hunts him down, Fugidove gets his rematch, Jay gets some valuable training, so when an actually dangerous criminal escapes, you know for sure we will have it covered! Win-win-win.”

“No.” Cole can practically hear the commissioner pinching his nose. “Criminals aren’t your play things… I’m not going to just let them out for your amusement.”

He hears Fugidove wailing in the background, “Oh pleeeease! I promise not to do any other crimes, I just want a rematch! Come on!”

There is a frustrated sigh from the commissioner. “Goodbye Cole. Please don’t call again unless the city is actually in danger.”

He doesn’t even let Cole speak a word more before the call cuts out with a disgruntled beep.

Cole sighs and flops back into his sheets, that could have gone better…

Ok, so if the police weren’t going to help, who else could Cole call on for a distraction? He scrolls through his contacts and pauses when he gets to D. That could work…

He taps call next to the brown icon.

“Y’ello?”

“Hi, um, Dareth? It’s me Cole.”

“Large Okinawa milk with extra boba coming right up!”

“What? I didn’t…”

“Sorry Cole, Laughy’s is popping off today! I’ve never been so busy!” There is quite a bit of background noise coming through the line.

“Right, well, I was wondering if you could do me a favour? I think the city might need the brown ninja.”

“Yes we do brown sugar pearls, no they’re not sugar free… what? Cole? What did you say, brown ninja?”

Cole grits his teeth, suddenly a lot more unsure of if this was going to work. “Dareth, focus! You were a big help to us during the Sons of Garmadon, so we thought it was about time to give you some formal ninja training, take you on a patrol or two, show you the ropes?” Jay hadn’t agreed to this, not yet, Cole would worry about that later… He coughs, this was more talking than he had done in a while.

“Ah, I see! It has been a while since you have seen the power of the brown ninja! so you want me to do a patrol, as training?”

Cole lets out a sigh of relief, Dareth was finally getting it. “Yes, I want you to train with Jay.”

“Order for Jay! No, wait… order for Jenny!” Cole starts coughing again. “Wait, Cole, are you sick?”

Cole panics, seeing a flaw in his plan. “Shhh, not so loud.”

“Oh, right! We wouldn’t want to let you-know-whos know when the um, other you-know-whos are unwell! That could cause, who-knows-whats!”

Cole pauses, trying to get his slow thoughts to figure out what Dareth meant. “Sure… so you can’t tell Jay.”

“Don’t tell Jay, seems a bit odd, but I guess it is all part of the training? Secrecy and all that?”

“Yeah… right.” says Cole, not following, but taking the win. “Just call Jay when you’re ready to go.”

“Call Jay, you got it boss! Yes, take as many napkins as you wan-”

The line cuts out.

Cole stares at the phone for a few seconds, trying to process the conversation. What did Dareth even agree to? He should probably give Jay a heads up, but his mind was starting to feel like mush, well, mushyer than usual, surely he could do that after a nap?

~~

Dareth was ecstatic! Best day ever. Business was booming, and the ninja had called him! Finally acknowledging the power that was the brown ninja.

From Cole's instructions all he had to do was:

1. Go on patrol in order to prove himself.
2. Don't tell Jay, which was the weird part, as Jay was apparently assessing his performance.
3. Call Jay when he finished the patrol. If the results were impressive enough, then;
4. He would get one on one training with Jay. Not that he really needed it, he had so many trophies that were proof of his fighting skills already. Yes some of them might be fake… but the ninja didn't know that.
5. Don't mention to the press or public that Cole was sick. Which unfortunately meant he couldn't tell Gayle about the brown ninja going on patrol. Maybe he could line up an interview with her once Cole was feeling better?

Dareth wonders if any of the other ninja were sick too? That would explain why they were calling on him. 

“The city needs me.” He says with utter seriousness as he pulls his brown gi out of the dirty laundry basket. He sniffs at the arm pits, it wasn't too bad, he had only been flexing in front of the mirror, not running any marathons. “I don't have time for laundry, the city needs the brown ninja!”

He races out of his apartment, tripping on the bottom step, but manages to catch himself after stumbling. “I just… won't tell Jay about that.” He mutters before darting down the street. He needed somewhere high to get a better view of any crimes, but also not too high such that it would be too tall to climb.

“I know the perfect place!”

~~

Fugidove was ecstatic! Jay wanted to fight him! Now if there was one thing Fugidove was good at, it was flying the coop. He had actually snuck out of jail once before as a teenager after a minor trespassing incident. He was a decent lock pick, and had a certain knack for acquiring shiny objects, such as keys, or coins that had been in someone else's purse…

He still remembers the humiliation he had faced after his first attempt at a proper heist. Robbing a bank, but of course Jay had to be there to screw it all up! But the fact he had left an impression on the blue ninja, enough to want a rematch, enough to call in favours with the chief? That was rival stuff. He had a ninja as a rival! Which meant he was a pretty big deal.

Ever since landing in Kryptarium he had been working on his escape plan. Greasing the wheels, stashing things where they were needed, pulling objects out of pockets… He had been waiting for the right time to pull it off, but if Jay wanted a rematch!? Oh, now was most definitely the right time.

The plan worked perfectly, within the hour he was out and roaming the streets of Ninjago city, didn't even trip the alarm, he thinks with a smug grin on his masked face.

But where would Jay be waiting for his rematch? The bank where they had first met? No… too obvious. He needed somewhere high to look out for clues. Borg tower would be ideal, but he didn't want to climb that many floors of fire escapes… No, there was a better option, “I know the perfect place!”

~~

Fugidove finally makes it to the top floor of the middle school building, panting slightly as he breaches the top. The school was atop a hill and had a decent view of a large section of the city. He starts walking over to the corner which he knew from experience was the best lookout, but freezes when he sees someone else already there. Not just anyone, a ninja!

The tassels from the head wrap blow in the breeze. There is not much lighting on the roof, but the silhouette was obviously a ninja, and given the phone call earlier, who else could it be?

“Aha! I found you! I accept your challenge, ninja!” declares Fugidove, pointing a wing at the figure.

Dareth just about jumps out of his skin, spinning around to face the newcomer, stumbling away from the edge of the roof. He could barely see them in the dim lighting, it kind of looked like a giant bird. But giant birds normally did not talk…

He takes a tentative step towards the newcomer, getting a bit closer to the only light on the small piece of building that stuck up above the roofline. “Who are you?” he asks with a slightly trembling voice.

Fugidove growls in frustration. “Who am I? WHO AM I? It is I, Fugidove! My cry fills the night! Coo Coo!”

Dareth just stares, getting over his surprise and suddenly a little less afraid. A mental patient maybe? But no, they were wearing a prison uniform. “Um, doesn’t ring a bell.” he admits.

“Wait… you’re not Jay!” Fugidove declares angrily.

“Why would I be Jay?”

Fugidove starts pacing angrily as he speaks. “Because Jay has challenged me to a rematch! I am supposed to meet him, so why don’t you call him up, and get him here, or at least tell me where he is?” 

“I’m not allowed to call Jay.” This must be why Cole had told him that rule, it was a test. Jay had arranged for this meeting, and they wanted to see him handle it on his own. No backup. Dareth quickly glances around his surroundings, Jay was probably watching from a nearby building…

“What?! You’re a ninja right?”

“Yes!” declares Dareth with confidence, turning back to Fugidove, “only the deadliest, most powerful ninja of the lot, the brown ninja!” He pulls out a crane pose, which is always intimidating.

“Isn’t the green ninja the most powerful one?” deadpans Fugidove, not intimidated at all.

Dareth wobbles out of his pose. “There isn’t an exact ranking…” he admits sheepishly. “Wait, so if you think Lloyd is the most powerful, why do you want to fight Jay?”

“Ugh, this is pointless. I’m going to go find Jay.” Fugidove turns to leave.

“Wait!” calls Dareth. He couldn’t just let this criminal leave, who knows what horrible crimes he would commit. “I am currently on a mission for Jay. If you defeat me, then Jay will come for your rematch.”

Fugidove stops and slowly turns around. This guy didn’t seem all that, surely he could use a warm up before the main fight?

“Fine!” Fugidove races towards Dareth and starts hitting him with his wings. Dareth after being momentarily startled starts fighting back, flailing hands blocking his wings and occasionally slapping him lightly in the face.

“Oi, stop it!”

“Is that all you got?”

“Take that!”

They grumble at each other, neither doing a particularly good job at inflicting actual damage. Eventually they separate, both panting from the exertion. Maybe I should have brought a weapon… thinks Dareth.

“What was that!” whines Fugidove between pants, “pathetic, aren’t all you ninja supposed to have like an elemental power?”

Dareth grits his teeth. The so-called brown power that Mystake had bestowed upon him had turned out to be a bout of diarrhoea brought on by that ridiculous potion. He was not keen on trying to use that in battle. “I don’t need an elemental power in order to fight someone as weak as you!” he snaps while still panting himself, “your form is terrible!”

“My form! What would you know about my form! Yours was just as bad!”

“I am a master in many animal styles of fighting.” says Dareth proudly. He demonstrates a few with appropriate poses, “The tiger, the crane, the penguin, and of course, the dove.” He spreads his arms while squatting down low. “You are dressed like a dove, but you fight like a swamp rat.”

Fugidove scoffs. “Don’t you tell me, Fugidove, how to fight like a dove! What would you know about doves? You don’t even have wings!”

“I bet they don’t even work.” taunts Dareth gesturing to Fugidove’s wings with a sly smile.

“What?”

“What’s the point of making wings, if you can’t even fly? I bet you can’t jump from this rooftop without getting hurt.”

Now Fugidove wasn’t a complete idiot. He knew his wings weren’t enough to let him soar up into the sky, but he did sometimes use them to glide, slowing his descent on larger leaps. He wanders closer to the edge of the rooftop checking how high it was, trying to calculate if he would be able to prove the stupid ninja wrong.

That is when Dareth tackles him, pushing him over the edge.

Fugidove lets out a not-so-manly scream as he tumbles towards the ground below. If he had jumped, he would have had a chance at landing safely, but being pushed threw everything off. He lands with a thump, and a yelp, and yes there was the sound of something cracking in his shoulder.

“Victory for the brown ninja!” yells Dareth from the rooftop.

~~

Cole wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing. What time is it? He thinks drearily. Why are they calling, my mic is ‘broken’... He goes to cancel the call but pauses when he sees the caller ID. BaotyMcBoatFace, which is what he had affectionately nicknamed the commissioner. 

Cole answers the call. “Hello?” his voice is husky from sleep, mind barely awake.

“Cole.” The commissioner sounds serious. Always so serious with this guy. “Do you care to explain why I have Dareth at my police office, who performed a citizen’s arrest on Fugidove after pushing him off a roof?”

“What?” says Cole, sitting up, wondering if he was still dreaming. “I thought Fugidove was in prison?”

“You call me up asking for his release, and after I say no, not two hours later he is missing from his cell.”

“You think I had something to do with that?” Cole coughs, “I’m sick, I literally haven’t left my bed since we spoke.”

“You, one of the other ninja… or are you telling me it is a pure coincidence that Dareth was on a mission from you at the time of the incident?”

“I um, well, I did ask Dareth to do a patrol with Jay, but that was because you didn’t want to help!”

“We can’t have vigilantes pushing people off roofs! Fugidove wants to press charges…”

“Sorry, but I didn’t tell him to do that…”

“No more patrols for Dareth!”

“Ok, fine…”

“And if I ever find out you ninja had something to do with this…” there is the sound of frustrated growling.

“I swear, none of us broke him out…”

“Goodbye Cole. I have a lot of paperwork to do.” 

Cole stares at his phone for a while not sure what to make of the situation. His head felt terrible, maybe it was all a dream after all? Dareth vs Fugidove? Ridiculous… he lies back down on the sheets, letting the fog in his brain pull him back to sleep.

~~

Jay gets a phone call over breakfast from an unknown number. He frowns as he accepts the call. “Hello?” Hopefully it wasn’t a fan who had somehow figured it out. He really didn’t want to change numbers again…

“Oh, hi Jay. It’s me, Dareth.” Jay’s frown deepens, Dareth sounds nervous for some reason. He was also sure that he had saved Dareth’s number in his phone.

“Oh, hi Dareth. What’s up?” It was unusual to get calls from him, but the guy had helped them out a lot during the Son’s of Garmadon fiasco. He was owed a favour or two.

“So um, I’m at the police station right now, do you think you could come and bail me out?”

“What?”

Cole’s phone buzzes with a notification.

Bluejay: You have some serious explaining to do…

However Cole sleeps right through, blissfully unaware.

Chapter Text

Jay had been tinkering with some junk, trying to see if he could fix an old radio that someone had left. Not that he wanted a working radio, he just wanted something to do.

His phone rings, and he sees it’s Cole. Strange, I thought he was having mic problems? Cole had also been less responsive since the Dareth fiasco. Jay had guessed that Cole was feeling guilty and/or embarrassed about the mix up, although there were still a lot of details Jay didn't understand… Jay was starting to think he was being too needy, asking too many questions, so had been trying to give Cole a break. All of this made the phone call especially unexpected. 

Jay answers it nervously. “Hello?”

“Jay, is that you?” The voice wasn't right, it wasn't Cole, older.

“Um, yeah… Lou? Is that you?”

“Yeah, I um, realised I didn't have any of your numbers… this was the first one I saw in Cole's phone.”

Jay frowns. Was Cole unable to make a phone call right now? “Is he alright?”

“No, he's been sick for a couple days Jay, but it's getting worse…” 

Jay feels his stomach drop. Cole was sick too? And the bastard had tried to hide it from him? “He's sick?”

“He didn't tell you?”

“No he didn't tell me!” Jay is furious, but tries to take a breath and reign in his emotions, yelling at Lou wasn't going to help.

“Sorry, he's been on his phone so much, I thought you all must know.”

“Never mind that now, you said he's getting worse?” Edna looks up from where she had been knitting, seeing the tense worry in Jay's face.

“Right, yeah, last night his fever got quite high. His arms keep glowing on and off. He says it's fine, but he's clearly in pain. And I just went outside for the mail, and there's a crack, running right under our house… I just, don't know what to do Jay?”

“I'll be right there.” Jay gets up, planning to start packing.

“And where do you think you're going?” Asks Edna, putting down her knitting.

Jay pulls the phone away from his face. “Cole's sick.”

Edna frowns. “Well that's not good news, but sweetie, that means you can't go visit him, you'll just get sick too.”

“I don't care Ma! Cole needs me!”

“Now Jay, don't be so selfish, imagine how Cole would feel if he made you sick?”

Jay drops his shoulders, abandoning his plan of packing. “But-”

“No buts. Let me talk to Lou, let's figure out how to help Cole.” She rests a hand on his shoulder.

“Ugh fine!” Jay puts his phone on speaker and they are greeted to the sound of Lou and Cole having a similar argument.

“You called Jay?! Dad, what were you thinking!” There is the sound of a rattly cough echoing through the background.

“Cole, I need help! You're going to bring down the whole house!”

“Then call Lloyd, not Jay! This could kill him…”

“I wouldn't have to call anyone if you weren't keeping this a secret!”

“Hey!” barks Edna into the phone with her best mum voice. “Cut that out right now.”

There is the sound of more coughing. “That doesn't sound like Jay…” says Cole weakly.

“Ma wanted to talk to Lou, you're on speaker.” says Jay.

“Jay!” Yells Cole between coughs, “I swear to the first master, if you come here I'll kill you myself!”

Jay sighs. “Fine!”

“How about Ed and I take the Jalopy and help Lou out? We can bring the camping gear in case the house does become a problem, and I'll make some good hearty chicken soup.” Edna puts an arm on Jay's shoulder. “Would that make you feel better dear? Knowing Cole is looked after?”

Jay bites his lip. Then he would be alone. But everyone at the monastery already had their hands full, and there didn't seem to be anything special that would ease the infection. It was all just symptom management and waiting it out. “Fine, yeah, go help Lou. I'll stay here and, I dunno, play with garbage…”

Edna looks at him disapprovingly. “Now now, no need to insult garbage. You have the most important job of all, staying healthy!”

“Listen to your mother Jay!” comes Cole's husky voice over the phone.

~~

In Jay's defence, he doesn't leave the junkyard immediately after his parents leave. He spends the afternoon playing with garbage. Training. Making dummies, then blasting them to bits, trying to get rid of his ever growing nervous energy.

He calls Lloyd around dinner, wanting an update on Nya, but the update is unbearably vague. “Yeah, she's still feverish, but it hasn't gotten worse… her cough is about the same, still coughing up some water… she's not sleeping well, I don't want to wake her to speak with you, sorry. I'll try to remember to call you when she wakes up.”

Jay ends the call feeling more apprehensive than when he had made it. He can't shake the thought that there's something they're not telling me.

No one calls the rest of the evening. Which means she was resting.

Which means she was too sick to speak.

He tries to sleep, watching the clock ticking on the wall, feeling more anxious than the night Nya had left. He had known Kai was critically ill that night, and this felt worse, which his mind tried to convince him meant Nya must be doing worse than Kai.

It's fine. You're overreacting.

Nya is going to die.

No she isn't, they'd tell me if she was that sick.

No they wouldn't, Cole didn't tell you he was sick.

He was just worried about me. Everyone wants me to stay here.

You need to go back. You need to save her.

Save her, how would I save her?

She's going to die. She died before.

That's different. I had help, a wish.

You didn't know how to save her until it happened.

I saved her.

You saved her because you were there.

I need to go back, I need to be there.

If you're not, she's going to die.

Jay packs a small bag fueled with anxious dread.

Nya is going to die.

On some level he knew his thoughts were being unreasonable, but there was no one to talk to to clear his head.

Only you can save her.

And what if they were right? He couldn't risk it. Had to act, trust his gut, his intuition. Zane had visions sometimes, how was this any different?

I need to go back.

If I don’t, Nya is going to die.

~~

It's a smooth ride across the desert to the base of the mountain. Cool night air tugging at Jay's gi as he rides on his dad's old moped.

Once he gets to the monastery, he scales the walls, sneaking in, not for the first time… being careful not to rattle any roof tiles as he climbs into the courtyard. Everyone had told him to stay away, so the less people he ran into the better.

Nya's room opens onto the courtyard, he slinks up to the shutters, peeking inside. Kai is sitting by her bed, awake, arms folded as he looks at her with tired eyes.

She's sick enough for Kai to stay up with her? Isn't he still sick?

This didn't ease Jay's concerns at all. But now he has a problem. How to get past Kai? He realises with a sinking heart that he really didn't think this through.

There is the sound of movement in the room, Jay peeks in again and sees Kai rising out of the chair. Shit, did he see me?! Jay holds his breath nervously as Kai lets out a sigh, stretches his arms and leaves the room.

Jay waits a few seconds before letting out his breath and moving slightly to get a better view of the room. Coast was clear. He quietly opens one of the shutters and slips in the window.

He takes a moment to survey the room, a dehumidifier had been set up in the corner, blowing dry air over Nya's bed. The door was slightly ajar, maybe Kai would come back soon, so he couldn't waste any time, he needed to see Nya.

He walks softly over to her bed, she was covered in blankets, slightly damp, her face was pale and very damp. Eyes shut as she slept, beads of sweaty water dripping down her forehead. Plastic tubing was clipped onto her nose, oxygen? No one mentioned that… Her breaths were a little uneven and scratchy. There was a bucket by the side of the bed with a concerning amount of clear fluid in it.

“Oh Nya…” says Jay as he crouches down and gently cups the side of her face, it's warm, way too warm. She looked so much worse than he had been imagining. She was really sick.

“Nya, I'm here. I've got you, I'm going to look after you, I'm going to…” Jay pauses, realising with a sinking heart that there was nothing he could do. He could reassure her, that was it.

Her eyelids start to flutter, and then she pulls away from his touch and coughs, half heartedly raising a tired hand to her face. The sound is awful, rattly, how long has she been coughing like this?

Eventually the coughing stops and Nya half opens her tired eyes, squinting at him with confusion. “Jay?” she rasps.

Jay nods, reaching out towards her hand. He opens his mouth to speak, but doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to explain why he had to come. Suddenly remembering his promise to her, to Cole, to Wu, to his parents…

Nya's brow relaxes, a calm washing over her face. “Guess I'm still dreaming…” she mutters, closing her eyes once more, head sinking back down into the pillows.

Jay starts to tremble, pulling his hand away so Nya wouldn't have to feel the vibrations. Shit… I think I fucked up.

He had worked so hard to be here, broken everyone's trust, so it had to be for something, it couldn't be for nothing, it couldn't be a mistake… His mind had been begging him to come for so long, so it didn't feel right to just admit he was wrong and leave. He sits there, crouched by her bedside, paralysed with indecision.

I shouldn't be here. I should leave.

You need to save her, you need to do something!

What!? What can I possibly do?

She's going to die.

Shut up. SHUT UP! Why the fuck did I listen to you!?

She's really sick, look how sick she is. It's good you came. This might be the last-

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of footsteps.

“Jay?”

Jay is still trembling, tears starting to form in his eyes as he turns to see Kai standing in the doorway. “I- I…” he stammers, still locked in a stalemate with his own mind, unsure of how to explain himself.

Before he knows what is happening he is being hoisted up off the floor by the scruff of his neck and not so gently shoved out the open window.

“Ow!” moans Jay as his shoulder hits the deck. He rolls over and scrambles to his feet.

Kai also climbs out of the window, and he looks pissed. Kai gently shuts the window once outside, not wanting to wake Nya before turning to face Jay. “You had one job Jay! One!” He whisper shouts. “All you had to do was stay at the junkyard, and you can't even do that! FUCK!”

While Jay knew he was wrong, Kai's outburst put him on the defensive. “You lied to me, all of you, she's dying isn't she?” he stammers, finally finding his voice.

Kai pauses for a moment, properly looking at Jay, seeing his trembling, the dark bags under his eyes. But it was no excuse. “She's not dying Jay, she's really sick, but she's stable, we're looking after her.”

“But what if she gets worse? What if something happens and I'm not here? What if she dies?”

“Then at least you'll still be alive Jay!” Kai raises his arms into the air, exasperated. “She's been so worried about you, the last thing she wants is to be the one to make you sick. How could you do that to her?”

Jay feels the doubt come rushing back in. I promised her… “I'm sorry… I just…” he doesn't know what to say.

“I did this to her Jay, I made her sick, because she came back to help me. And now I have to sit by her bedside and watch her suffer.” He pauses to cough, not fully recovered, but at least his cough wasn't as rough as Nya's. “And now you've gone and done the same to her. I know watching you go through this is going to be so much worse than what she's going through right now.”

“I'm sorry…”

“I don't want to hear it Jay, just leave, while there's still a snowball’s chance in hell that you didn't catch it.”

Jay nods, turning his back and sprinting away, climbing back onto the roof, vision going blurry as tears get in the way.

~~

The ride back to the junkyard was full of even more anxiety than the ride to the monastery. The voice telling him that Nya was dying was still blaring at full volume, but now it was accompanied by the knowledge he had royally fucked up. Everything Kai had said to him, just added to the chorus. He was right. They were all right. He should have stayed away, he had one job! He was a pathetic loser who couldn't even do that.

Once back at the caravan he curled up into a depression cocoon. Lying on the couch, blankets over his head. He cried, and allowed his thoughts to continue their destructive spiral. He eventually thought about doing something, watching TV, working on the radio, going for a walk, but he didn't deserve a distraction, so he stayed curled up, putting himself in time out, punishing himself for his stupidity.

Kai tried calling him early in the morning. Jay declined the call. He didn't feel like being yelled at again.

His parents tried calling him mid morning, but he knew they'd pick up that something was wrong way too easily, so he declined the call, instead texting them “I'm having mic issues.” Hopefully they would think he was just still mad at Cole. They texted back with an update on Cole, his fever was starting to improve, and the house hadn't collapsed yet.

By lunchtime his stomach was starting to growl, so he gets out of his cocoon and goes to fetch some food. He settles on eating plain bread out of the bag. He didn't deserve a proper meal right now… he takes his bag of bread and a water bottle and goes back to lying under the blanket.

I'll show them how good I am at staying put. As if taking quarantine to the extreme now could somehow help compensate for his extreme stupidity the night before.

Mid afternoon Lloyd calls him. Jay looks at his phone, mind panicking, unsure what to expect if he picked up. He still hadn't figured out how to explain what he had done, so he panics and declines the call. He holds the phone at arms length, staring at the cracked screen, he knew he couldn't dodge everyone's calls forever, and he did really want to hear how Nya was doing… should I text? What’s a more believable lie than mic issues?

While he is thinking through his options, Kai texts him. 

Flameo: I didn't tell them about your visit, but if you keep dodging everyone's calls I probably will.

Jay sighs, at least Lloyd was unlikely to yell at him then… there would be time for that later when he eventually finds out.

“The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.” says Jay out loud, testing to see if he sounds somewhat normal, and not like he had been crying under a pile of blankets all day.

He taps the call button next to Lloyd's missed call. Lloyd answers too quickly, like he had still been holding his phone trying to decide if he should try again. “Oh, Jay.”

“Hey, sorry about missing your call, I, um, was on the loo.”

“Oh, um, sure.” says Lloyd, he doesn’t sound convinced.

“How’s Nya? I’m guessing that’s why you're calling?”

“Yeah, Nya, her fever is finally starting to go down. The coughing is a little better, but it’s still pretty bad.” Jay winces remembering the rattlyness of her cough. “It’s good news Jay, she’s getting better, she’s going to be ok.”

“Yeah… thanks.” says Jay, feeling a small amount of relief. “And Zane?” He hadn’t heard about Zane for a while.

He hears Lloyd let out a sign. “His spontaneous ice production stopped yesterday, but he’s still shut down. Like he’s in some sort of hibernation. Pixal is running some checks on his software and memory files, she’s not worried yet, and said it could take a while.” Jay sighs, at least Zane was in good hands with Pixal to look after him. She was probably the only one he would trust to poke round his memories like that, having lived in his head for a while. “And how are you doing Jay?”

Jay blinks, the question throwing him off guard. “Me? Pssht, I’m fine!”

Lloyd sighs, not believing the answer. “I just mean, it must be pretty stressful for you to not be able to visit Nya when she’s sick.”

A knot of guilt twists in his stomach. Whatever he said, Lloyd would see right through it. “Yeah… I guess it’s been hard without my parents around.” That was an understatement, but Lloyd didn’t need to know the full story, not yet.

“What do you mean, where are you right now?” Jay hears an edge of panic rise in Lloyd’s voice.

“Chill, I’m still at the junkyard.” wasn’t last night, but am now… “My parents went to help Lou with Cole.”

“Cole? Oh no… is he sick too? Dammit! Is that why he was having mic problems?”

“You too?” asks Jay with a half hearted chuckle, although he had already somewhat figured out Cole was hiding it from them too.

“How is he?”

“Not too bad, Lou was just getting a bit stressed from all the earthquakes, so they went to help.”

“Ugh! Ok… Ok.” Jay could practically hear him running his fingers through his hair, nervously tugging at it.

“Just promise me you won’t visit him Jay.”

The knot of guilt twists tighter. “Why do you think I sent my parents?”

“Ok, sure… just, stay safe alright? It’s probably going to be a while longer before you’re able to come back.”

“Yeah… I know.” says Jay glumly. “Look after Nya for me.”

“Of course.”

He hangs up, hoping that conversation was enough to put Kai at ease that he wasn’t completely falling apart. He was sure Kai would have been listening in, based on the timing of the text message.

He shoves his phone back in his pocket, face settling into an uncomfortable frown. Nya was getting better, she was going to be ok. He should be relieved, and he was. The voice constantly telling him that she was dying was suddenly quiet, but it was replaced by something new.

You’re going to die. Electricity is the worst one.

Nya was going to get better, but he was going to get worse. 

There is no way you aren’t infected.

Lloyd coughed on Kai once. Kai wasn’t even sick yet when he infected Cole.

What was it Kai said? A snowball’s chance in hell?

The image of Wu staring at him across the kitchen table was burned into his mind,

Looking at you like you’re already dead.

Fuck, Nya was really going to kill him if he died from this.

He chuckles nervously, the ridiculousness of the statement pulling him slightly up from his spiral. “I just need to make sure I don’t get sick.” He takes a deep breath, slapping himself in the cheeks. He picks up his half eaten bag of bread and takes it back to the kitchen, swapping it for every piece of fresh fruit he could find. Fruit is healthy right? He then goes back to the lounge and puts on the TV, watching the news while he eats his bowl of dinner fruit. (The lemon was particularly unpleasant, but that must mean it had more nutrients, right?)

He had been up all night the day before so goes to bed early, staying well rested would surely help prevent an infection. His anxious thoughts don't help with falling asleep, but eventually he manages, the knowledge that Nya at least was going to be ok, giving him enough peace to drift off.

~~

The next day he rises a bit later than normal, but feels surprisingly good, at least in comparison to a night of no sleep followed by emotional spiralling…

“I'm not sick, and today is going to be a good day.” he says as he gets up, trying desperately to convince himself. 

He makes porridge for breakfast as well as a tea? made from crushed garlic and a bunch of other herbs he found in the cupboard. He remembered reading about some sort of home remedy involving garlic… and surely the other herbs would help too right? He gets through about half of it before deciding that maybe he would prefer death after all.

“I'm not even sick, so it doesn't matter…” he mutters while pouring the rest down the sink. To prove his point he gets dressed and goes outside, determined to get some exercise in instead of lying on the couch all day again.

He rearranges garbage, trying to help out his parents, going through the newest pile, moving items into the already organised piles further back. To a bystander, it probably all looked the same, but Jay knew his parents’ system well.

That evening he goes through a round of catch up calls and cooks every vegetable he could find for dinner, having already eaten all the fruit. He feels a little off, a bit tired and achy. He rolls his shoulder around trying to dispel the feeling. It's probably just cause I was moving garbage all day… you're meant to feel sore after hard work.

At least the tired feeling helps him fall asleep more quickly, passing out almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Chapter Text

Jay wakes up with a groan. His head hurt. His body hurt. The later could at least be explained from over-exerting himself yesterday, but surely he wasn't so out of shape for that meagre amount of work to make him feel this bad right?

It means you're sick. You're going to die.

Jay does his best to ignore the thought. Maybe my head hurts because I didn't have my normal coffee yesterday? He gets up and scoops a generous amount of instant coffee into a mug while he waits for the kettle to boil. Once made he drinks it while snacking on a piece of plain bread.

Back to punishment food are we?

“Why is it that toast is a perfectly acceptable breakfast food, but bread isn't?” he mutters to himself. He wished he was back at the monastery with all his friends, that question could have started a lively breakfast debate. He thinks about texting the question to Nya, or Cole, but remembers they are still sick, and he doesn't want to disturb them.

Doesn't deserve their company.

Jay sighs, drinking the rest of his coffee, hoping that will make his headache go away.

After breakfast he goes back to sorting garbage. It isn't long before he starts to tire, muscles aching, head still pounding. It wasn't right, he shouldn't be this tired this soon.

It's cause you've sick. You're going to die.

“Pssht, no! I'm not sick… I'm fine!”

Yeah, cause talking to yourself is a thing healthy people do.

Jay bites his lip as he stubbornly continues to work. Less than 10 minutes later he is trying to move a mini fridge when a rouge spark runs up his arm.

“Ow!” he yelps, pulling his hand away and shaking it out. “What was that?”

You know exactly what it was. You're sick. It's starting.

Jay feels his heart rate climb as he stares fearfully at the fridge, trying to come up with a logical explanation as to how it had shocked him, and not the other way round. But it was unplugged, no battery… it couldn't do this. And even if it did, it wasn't supposed to feel like that, it wasn't supposed to hurt.

You're sick. You're going to die.

“Well shit.”

Jay retreats back into the caravan, pretty sure that people with elemental fever shouldn't be doing strenuous exercise. He rummages through the cupboards looking for the first aid kit, finding the familiar old ice cream tub with a big red cross drawn on in permanent marker. He opens it up, taking out the thermometer and shoving it under his arm, going to sit on the couch until it beeped. He pulls it out again, and lets out a sigh. Yup, I have a fever.

He puts the thermometer to the side, and pulls out his phone. I should probably tell someone… But who? He didn't want to disappoint them. Kai would probably yell at him again. Wu would expel him. Nya would be mad he broke his promise. But he needed to tell someone, he was going to get worse, going to need help.

Lloyd, maybe I could tell Lloyd? Lloyd could stay focused on the practical side of things, right? Jay scrolls down to Lloyd's name, finger nervously hovering over the call button when electricity flashes through his hands.

“Ow, fucking dammit!” curses Jay as he drops his phone. Sure enough, when he picks it up again the screen is black, not turning on, faint smell of burning coming out of it.

“Great, this is just great!”

It's what you deserve. You got into this mess, now you need to deal with it.

Alone.

~~

Cole was worried. Jay hadn't been responding to his texts, and when they tried to call him it went straight to voicemail. He knew Jay was mad at him over hiding the fact he was sick, which, fair enough, but the silent treatment was getting him down.

His phone starts to buzz and he looks at the screen eagerly before realising it is just Kai. Cole lets out a sigh before answering.

“Hey.”

“Hey, um, you speak to Jay lately?” Kai sounds worried.

Cole frowns. “Not since yesterday. I think his phone is off, normally he notices and charges it by now.”

“Dammit!” mutters Kai, “someone needs to go check on him.”

“Well don't look at me, I'm infected too, remember?”

“He might be sick.” It sounds like Kai is whispering, not wanting to be overheard.

“How could he be sick? If he caught anything from Lloyd it would have shown up days ago. He probably just forgot to charge his phone.”

“Cole…” Kai doesn't sound convinced and it is making Cole uneasy. “He snuck back here to see Nya three days ago.”

“What?” Cole grips his phone more tightly, hearing the screen crack, his control over his element was still poor, but luckily the call doesn't drop out.

“So someone needs to go check on him.”

“Ok, leave it to us.”

~~

They weren't 100% sure if non-elemental masters could be carriers for the disease, so the plan was to just do a drive by, confirm Jay was still healthy from a distance then continue on to the monastery. Ed for some reason had a pair of binoculars in the glove box, which Cole was using to try and spot Jay.

“He's not outside.” Says Cole as they get closer.

Ed parks the car outside the main gate and presses the horn a couple times. “Jay! You in there?” he hollers.

They wait for a moment, but no one comes out of the caravan. 

“Maybe he went out? Lloyd was trying to distract him with patrols?” Cole wasn't convinced by his own words.

“I'll go check," says Edna as she puts on a surgical mask. She walks up to the caravan and knocks on the door. “Jay? Honey? You in there?”

“Ma?” There is a muffled sound from beyond, then the sound of coughing.

Edna lets out a sigh and enters the caravan, after only a moment she emerges again, mask removed. “Cole dear, you can come in. He's sick.”

Cole lets out a sigh and follows Edna. As he enters he sees Jay's head sticking out of a pile of blankets on the couch. He looks pale and clammy. “You sure it’s elemental fever, not just a regular cold?” He hovers in the doorway, waiting on the answer.

“Pretty sure.” mumbles Jay before coughing. “been shocking myself all day…”

Cole goes over to sit beside him, placing a hand on his forehead. “Damn… you are really warm. Why didn't you call someone?”

Jay shrugs, keeping his eyes off Cole. “I shocked my phone too…”

Edna had found the digital thermometer and sits down on the other side of Jay, pressing the buttons to try and make it work. “Oh deary me.” she mutters, frowning at the device.

“Oh, I broke that too…” adds Jay, “and you might need a new kettle… sorry.”

“Don't you worry about that.” says Edna, abandoning the thermometer and taking a turn at feeling Jay's forehead.

“We need to get you back to the monastery.” says Cole.

“I'll pack a bag.” says Edna, getting up to gather Jay's things.

Jay looks up at Cole with confusion before coughing again.

“Why the long face?” asks Cole gently, “I thought you'd be excited to go see Nya?”

“I, um, don't think they want me there.” says Jay quietly.

“What? Why on earth not?”

“Because it's all my fault Cole! I… I-” Jay looks like he is about ready to burst into tears, and the streaks on his face suggested it wouldn’t be for the first time.

“I know.” says Cole, “Kai told me.”

Jay looks up at him again with the same confused face. “Then why are you here? Why aren't you yelling at me?”

Cole is genuinely stunned by the question. “Because you're my friend, and you need help.” Jay still looks unconvinced. “Wu knows more about this disease than anyone, so we need to get you back to the monastery.”

“Wu won't help me… not anymore. I don't deserve it Cole…”

“Jay, respectfully, shut the fuck up.”

“Language!” says Edna.

“Sorry,” mutters Cole to Edna before turning back to Jay. “One mistake doesn't mean you deserve to go through a life threatening illness on your own, it doesn't mean we're not going to help you.”

“Really?” Jay asks hopefully.

“Yes, really! Now come on, let's get you to the car.”

~~

The Walker’s Jalopy drives all the way into the lair. Cole looks around, seeing almost everyone had come to welcome him back. Lloyd, Kai and Wu hovered around the main screen, Pixal stood over a workbench where Zane lay, still offline.

Cole sighs, looking down to where Jay had fallen asleep on his lap, beads of sweat clearly visible on his forehead. “Hey… We're here.” He says softly, giving Jay’s shoulder a slight shake.

“Cole, welcome back.” says Wu as he starts walking towards the vehicle.

Jay half opens his eyes and wearily sits up. The atmosphere in the room immediately changes, Wu freezing as he spots Jay.

“Jay?!” Wu says in alarm. “What are you doing here?!”

Jay turns to face Wu, foggy brain still waking up. It's the same look as before, why does he have to look at me like that… he turns away, scanning the room, and sees a surprised Lloyd, disappointed Kai, and stoic Pixal.

A rogue spark jumps up his arm and he can't help but flinch, gritting his teeth at the pain.

“He's sick,” explains Cole, “so there was no point keeping him in quarantine.”

“How??” asks Lloyd with frustration. “Jay was barely in the same room as me before he left.”

“It wasn't you.” clarifies Kai. “He snuck back here to see Nya three days ago.”

“What? Why didn't you say anything?” asks Lloyd angrily to Kai.

Kai swings his feet from the chair he is sitting on. “Cause it wouldn't change anything. It was already too late.”

Jay sits there patiently waiting for his crucifixion. For them all to start yelling, confirming the negative thoughts that had been spiralling through his head since he had come back. To even tell him to leave, that they weren’t going to help… But instead there is just uncomfortable silence, everyone staring at him, processing what his presence means.

“I can't do this.” snaps Wu. “I can't do this again…” he then storms out of the room.

Lloyd runs a hand down his face before letting out a frustrated groan. “Uncle, wait!” he says as he goes after Wu.

Cole sighs, watching them go, seeing Jay curl in on himself, tense lines of stress on his face.

“I'm sorry…” Jay finally manages to speak, an open apology to the people left in the room.

Cole reaches out an arm to his shoulder, “come on. Let's get you to your room.”

“I’ll grab your things dear.” says Edna as she goes around to the boot. Ed had wandered over to Pixal, eyes glancing over Zane. “Anything I can do to help?”

“You could tell me about when Jay's symptoms started.” says Pixal. Jay sighs, tuning out that particular conversation.

As they make their way towards the lift, Kai speaks. “I'm sorry too.” Jay looks up at him, confused. “I'm sorry you caught it, I didn't want to be right, I was really hoping it was too quick, that I kicked you out in time…”

“You were right.” says Jay glumly. “Everything you said, you were right.” He continues his way to the lift. “Whatever happens… I deserve it.”

“No one deserves this Jay… “ says Kai glumly, before coughing as the door slides shut.

~~

Lloyd trails after Wu all the way to his room, pushing his way through as Wu tries to shut the door. He stands in the doorway, glaring at Wu who had his back turned, gripping his staff so tightly, his knuckles had gone white.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” asks Lloyd angrily. “Your student is hurt and scared, and you just abandoned him!”

“Go away Lloyd.” His voice is quiet but stern. On any other day Lloyd would be afraid of what Wu might do to him for disobeying such a direct order, but he pushes through.

“No. I’m not leaving until you explain to me why Jay is different, why you were looking at him like he’s already dead.” Wu’s shoulders start to tremble, Lloyd frowns, is he crying? Lloyd’s mind churns through what he said. I can't do this again. “You’ve seen this disease before, haven’t you?” Because why else would he know, why else would he have been able to recognise it so quickly?

“Yes.” says Wu, voice wavering. ”The last time I saw this disease I had to watch one of my dear students die, and now, I’m going to have to watch it do the same to her son.” his voice cracks on the last word. “So forgive me, for needing a moment to compose myself.” his tone is harsh, demonstrating that sentence contained the last of his patience. Wu gently leans the staff in the corner, then turns to face Lloyd, with wet puffy eyes. “So get. out.”

Lloyd frowns, most of the rage from before melting away. “He’s not dead yet.” he says as he leaves the room.

Lloyd slams the door to Wu’s room and then leans on the wall beside the door, bending over, running his hands into his hair.

This is bad…

“Lloyd?” Lloyd looks up and sees Nya standing in the doorway to her own room. “What’s going on? I heard yelling?”

Lloyd pulls his hands out of his hair and tries desperately to get his emotions in check. “Jay’s back.” he says glumly.

“What?” Nya lifts a hand up to cover her mouth. “I’m still sick Lloyd, he can’t come back yet!”

Lloyd shakes his head. “It’s too late Nya… he caught it.”

“What? But how?” She coughs as she comes out of her room to stand beside Lloyd, to hear him more clearly. She still looks pretty awful, eyes missing their usual shine, body looking like it is taking everything she has to just stay standing.

“Kai says he snuck in, came to see you…” Lloyd pauses, scared about how she might react.

Nya closes her eyes and lets out a sigh as she leans against the wall beside Lloyd. “Of course he did…” she mutters.

Of all the possible reactions, well, it was probably one of the better options. Lloyd pushes on with his bad news. “And now Wu is freaking out because apparently the last elemental master of lightning died from this disease.”

Nya’s eyes go wide. “His mum?” she chokes out in a whisper before coughing again.

Lloyd nods. “And now I need to figure out how to go tell him how his mum died, because heaven knows Wu’s not gonna do it!” Lloyd gestures angrily.

Nya reaches out to his arm, and he’s not quite sure if she is offering comfort, or just needed the support from standing too long. “No. I’ll do it.” she volunteers.

“Nya… you shouldn’t have to do that…”

“Neither should you.” she says firmly. “Lloyd, you are way too worked up to have a delicate conversation with Jay right now, and you have a much more important mission.” Lloyd frowns as he looks at her. “You need to figure out how to save him.”

“Right…” Lloyd turns away, clenching a fist, tapping it against the wall. There had to be something they could do, something to make it easier for Jay. “Misako was talking to some doctors about you, I’ll go see if she could reach out, get their advice on Jay as well.”

Nya nods encouragingly. “And Pixal might have some ideas about how to manage the shocks?”

“Yeah ok.” says Lloyd, feeling slightly calmer now he had a plan. “And you’re sure you’re ok to…?” he doesn’t really feel like saying it again.

“Yeah.” says Nya glumly before turning and heading slowly down the hall.

~~

Nya slides open Jay's door, some part of her hoping to find the room empty. To find it all had been one big misunderstanding, that Jay wasn't here, wasn't sick, was safe and well at his parent's junkyard. But the bed is not empty, familiar brown curls poking out from under the covers.

“You idiot.” she says, but it isn't harsh, instead laced with a deep sadness. She goes over to sit on the bed beside him, standing too long was still hard, lungs working overtime to just keep her upright.

Jay turns to face her, sitting up, unraveling himself from the sheets. Tears in his puffy eyes. “Nya?” he croaks, and she hopes it is just from crying, not the sickness. Not yet.

She nods, lifting a hand to his face, cradling his cheek. He’s already so warm and she frowns, worry building inside of her.

Jay just about falls into her, leaning over, wrapping his arms around her, sobs escaping his lips, mixed up with words as they start tumbling out. “Nya, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… please don't be mad… please.”

Nya wraps her arms around him. “Jay…” she starts but gets interrupted.

“I know I deserve it ok? I shouldn't have come back… so you can be as mad as you want after ok? Give me the real silent treatment, make me do all your chores, whatever you need… just, right now, I'm scared, and sick, and I need you to not be mad at me. Please.”

Nya lets out a sigh, squeezing him tighter, as she gently whispers. “Ok. I'm not mad. I love you Jay, I'm sad you’re sick, but I'm not mad.”

She feels Jay relax slightly at her words, body becoming just a little less tense. “I love you too… I'm sorry…”

“Jay, stop apologis-” Nya almost bites her tongue as a painful burst of electricity flows through her, there is a pained grunt from Jay, both their muscles tightening briefly before it passes. 

After it does Jay pushes himself away from Nya. “I- I'm sorry! Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”

“I'm fine Jay.” She assures, while shaking out the sensation from her hand. Her body tries to prove her wrong, deciding now is the perfect time for a coughing fit. 

Jay hovers nearby, looking like he wants to help, wants to rub or pat her back, but doesn't want to touch her in case he shocks her again. “You sure?”

Nya nods, still coughing, waiting for the illness to give her her voice back. Eventually she manages. “I'm getting better. The cough just takes a while. Even Lloyd is still coughing.”

“Something to look forward to?” says Jay with a lopsided smile, as he leans back on the headboard. He looks pale, sweat already glistening on his forehead. She reaches out a hand to his, but he pulls it away. “Cole went to find some rubber gloves… please, I don't want to hurt you.”

“Are you ok?” asks Nya. “Be honest with me, that shock hurt you too right?”

She watches as he turns away. “It's fine…” he mumbles. “I can take it.”

“Jay! We aren't going to be able to help if you lie to us.”

There is silence, while Jay weighs up his options.

“I'm gonna be fine right?” he asks, voice small, afraid of the answer. Nya pauses, that hesitation speaking volumes. “Like, Kai got better, you're getting better, Pixal said Zane is not showing any permanent damage… Like it's gonna be bad, but I'll get through it too right?” he pauses, looking up at Nya, meeting her sad worried eyes.

“We're going to do everything we can.”

“What does that mean? Why is it different for me? How does everyone just know it’s going to be worse for me?”

Nya grips his shoulder, ignoring his protests as he tries to squirm away. “Jay, stop, I don't care if I get shocked right now. I need you to understand we aren't giving up on you.”

“Giving up? Who said anything about giving up?!”

Nya sighs, she needed to tell him. “Jay… the reason master Wu is so freaked out is because the previous master of lightning died of elemental fever.”

Jay stops his squirming, eyes going wide as they unfocus, looking right through Nya, like he was trying to see something very far away. “My birth mum?” he whispers. Fuck. He knew she was dead, but hadn't built the courage to ask Wu anything more about her, in fact had gone as far as telling Wu ‘I don't want to know, my real mum is in the junkyard.’

“Yeah…” whispers Nya, releasing his shoulders, hand running down to hold his own.

“Well, shit.”

“Yeah. Which is why you're an idiot.”

“I'm dead…” he says the words, but couldn't feel the weight of them. Like this was all some big joke, some big misunderstanding.

“Not if we have any say in it.” says Nya, squeezing his hand, ignoring the trickle of sparks. “Ninja don't quit. So you're not allowed to, ok?”

Jay looks at her, tries to bring his focus back, gives the smallest of nods. “I don’t want to die…” His voice is so small and it breaks her heart.

~~

In the end Jay's parents go home, seeing Jay has plenty of people to take care of him, and they didn't want to impose, filling up rooms and requiring hospitality when much more important things were going on.

Jay also encouraged them to leave, not wanting them to have to witness what was about to happen. 

“We'll call you if it gets bad.” assures Cole. They could always come back later.

Pixal quickly runs a bunch of cables up to Jay’s room. They are grounded and will hopefully assist in drawing the excess electricity out of Jay, preventing it from interfering with his heart and brain. She goes about attaching them with a special conductive gel to each of his limbs, holding them in place with large adhesives. Finally she adds sensors to each of the cables so she can monitor the intensity and frequency of each shock.

A defibrillator is placed in the corner of his room, and Jay can’t help but chuckle at the irony of potentially needing more electric shocks administered to keep him in this realm.

Nya is still significantly unwell, so Kai drags her out of Jay’s room to go get some rest.

~~

Wu comes into the room, letting out a deep sigh as he sees Jay lying there shivering amongst the cables. “Oh Jay…” he starts, a deep sadness to his voice.

Jay had been resting, trying to sleep, the shocks were going to get worse, so he needed to do as much of that as possible while he still could. He opens his eyes wearily, looking up at the new visitor. Wu hadn’t seen him yet since he had stormed out when Jay first got back. “Oh, hey master Wu.” Jay pauses to cough a couple times. “I guess I should stop calling you master… since you’re going to expel me as your student.” He hadn’t been looking forward to Wu's inevitable visit. Wu had been very clear, and Jay had disobeyed him. He was going to get the lecture of a lifetime.

Wu sits down on the edge of Jay’s bed, being careful of the cables. He reaches out a gloved hand to Jay’s. “How about, you just get through this, and then I’ll make you my student again?”

Jay looks at him with a frown. “You’re not mad at me?”

Wu looks at him, unsure what to say. “I’m furious that I didn’t protect you from this. I’m so sorry, if I had told you sooner about your mother… you would never have come back. This is all my fault.”

Jay can’t believe what he’s seeing. Wu was apologising to him? “No…” he shakes his head slightly. “It’s not your fault, it wouldn’t have changed anything. If I knew, I still would have come back.”

It is Wu’s turn to frown. “What do you mean? Why did you come back?” he asks. It is soft and gentle, not like he was seeking some stupidity to reprimand, he simply wanted to know what had gone wrong.

Jay drops his eyes. He knows it was stupid, he considers not telling Wu, but what would that accomplish? He lets out a sigh before starting to speak. “At the time, I 100% believed that if I didn’t come back, then Nya was going to die.” Wu’s frown deepens, not understanding the statement. “So it didn’t matter, even if I knew I was going to die, I still would have come back, I still would have tried to save her.”

“But… there was nothing you could do for her? How were you going to save her?”

Jay sighs trying to figure out how to explain it, when his body tenses, shock passing through. Count it out, push it into the wires.. He gasps for breath after it finishes.

Wu lets out a breath. “Are the wires helping?” he asks.

Jay shrugs. “Maybe a little? It still hurts.”

Wu runs a gloved hand over his hair, wiping perspiration from his forehead.

“I was all alone, and it felt like Lloyd was lying to me, like he wasn’t telling me how sick she was? And I didn’t have anyone there to talk me out of it. And Nya went back when Kai was sick… and I just couldn’t let her die again. And I couldn't get the thought out of my head that I needed to be there, like I was the first time, with the poison. I only stopped it because I was there… so I had to come back. I just had to.”

Wu is still looking at him with confusion. “But when you got here, how were you planning to save her?”

Jay laughs. “I don’t know! Gosh, it’s almost like you don’t understand how anxiety works.”

“You came back because you were anxious?” Wu asks, finally starting to get it.

“Yes.” says Jay. “I was anxious, and my thoughts got away from me, so I did something stupid. I let the anxious thoughts win, so now I'm here! So it's my own fault. No one else's.”

“I was too focused tending to the sick, that I didn’t spend enough time making sure you were being supported.”

“You thought I was with my parents. I don’t know what else you could have done.”

Wu sighs, still looking at him with sadness. “You can get through this Jay. The illness affects everyone differently. You are not your mother.”

Jay tries to believe him. “How long… how long did it take for her to die, after she got sick?”

Wu pauses before answering. “Two days.”

Jay nods, not sure what to do with that answer.

Chapter Text

It had been just over two days since Jay had gotten sick, including the roughly 12 hours he had been feverish by himself at the junkyard. Nya sighs, sitting by his bedside, sick of everyone telling her to go rest. She could rest after. Right now Jay needed her.

The shocks had gotten worse. Initially he could go hours without any, but now he was lucky to go 30min without curling up in pain, that now familiar gasp as it passed, body twitching. But he was still breathing, heart still beating, which was more that could have been said for his mother… The fact he had lasted this long was a good sign. She tried to convince herself that the end was in sight, that his fever could break any minute, and that the next shock could be his last, but for now they showed no sign of slowing down.

She runs a gloved hand through his messy hair. “Hey, you still with us?” she asks gently.

Jay blinks, realising he had zoned out. It was so hard to focus, not that focussing was really helpful in this situation. “Yeah… can’t get rid of me that easily.” he forces a smile onto his face. The last thing he wanted was to have Nya watch him die, to go limp in her arms, just like she had in his own. He just couldn’t do that to her. Which meant he needed to keep fighting, needed to stay positive.

But FSM was that hard.

His every muscle felt like it was on fire. The spots where the cables attached to his skin burned. They had moved them a couple of times, but the more they moved them the more burns he would have. He thought he understood torture before, but this was something else entirely. 

The anticipation, not knowing exactly when it would come was anxiety inducing. Pixal had recommended that he try to trigger the shocks himself, theorising that more frequent shocks would equate to lower intensity ones that would be less risky to his heart. He had tried for a while, but after a few hours he was just spending the entire interval trying to work up the courage to trigger another one, and that was about when he gave up realising they were coming quickly enough without his assistance.

Misako had come back with some sedatives from the hospital, their only helpful advice being; ‘if you can’t stop it, at least don’t make him suffer.’ While Jay was appreciative in theory, if he only had a day or so left to live, he didn’t want to spend it unconscious, and he felt like if he stayed awake he could still exert the scrap of control he had left to try and keep the lightning away from his heart. Push it into the wires… push it into the wires… was his usual mantra whenever a shock came. He wasn’t sure if it was helping or not, but the defibrillator had remained unused so far.

On some level he also felt like this was his punishment for being a complete idiot before, he didn't deserve to spend it in blissful unconsciousness. Every shock that rippled through him there was a little voice in his head.

You deserve this. You earnt this. This is all your fault.

He was usually trembling, and he wasn’t sure if it was shivering from the fever, or all the shocks completely messing up his nervous system. He didn’t ask about it, as he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Nya was still sick too, he listened to her cough near constantly. She had acquired a secondary infection in her lungs from all the water, so was taking a bit longer to bounce back than the others had. Despite this, she was still a near constant presence in his room. It wasn’t fair, he hadn’t been able to do that for her, she shouldn’t have to do it for him… Kai’s words echo through his head.

‘I know watching you go through this is going to be so much worse than what she's going through right now.’

So he tried to be brave. Pretended he was fine. Attempted feebly to make this ordeal easier on her.

“You know,” starts Jay, trying to distract her, (and himself) from the horror that was unfolding, “ECT is an effective treatment for depression.”

Nya blinks, “ECT?”

“Electro Convulsive Therapy.”

Nya frowns, “Isn’t that just in the movies? They don’t really electrocute depressed people right? At least not anymore?”

He was kind of glad she didn’t know about it already, gave him the opportunity to explain. “It’s a real therapy, the movies give it a really bad rep, for starters the patient is usually sedated…” he chuckles slightly, briefly reconsidering Misako’s offer. “It’s actually one of the faster acting treatments for depression, gives the brain a good old fashioned reboot, and can be quite effective if medications aren’t working.”

“Huh.” says Nya. “You going to go volunteer at the hospital after this?” she gives him a small half smile and he just about melts, glad to see something that wasn’t worry on her tired face for once.

“Nah, my point is, all these shocks, like, I’m going to be the happiest person ever once this is all done!” He tries to mimic her smile, but it doesn’t feel right. Like it doesn't belong, like he doesn't deserve it.

He must not have been very convincing as her eyes are once again full of worry.

~~

A little while later Cole and Kai come into the room. 

“Come on sis… let someone else have a turn.” says Kai gently, reaching out to her shoulder.

“I'm fine right here.” declares Nya stubbornly, shrugging off Kai's hand before coughing. She looked exhausted.

Kai sighs. “Pixal wouldn't let me sit with you all night when I was sick…”

“This is different Kai…”

Cause I could die… thinks Jay cheerily. “It's fine Nya, go rest.” encourages Jay, “Get some sleep for me too would you?” 

Nya looks around and sees the three men staring at her disapprovingly. “Fine!” she surrenders before leaning over to kiss Jay's forehead. “You just better still be here when I get back, ok?”

“I'll do my best.” says Jay, forcing a smile. The masking was getting harder. As much as he didn't want her to go, didn't want to spend a second of his potentially limited lifetime without her, he needed a moment without her there…

Kai helps guide her out of the room, and then it is just him and Cole.

“Is she gone?” whispers Jay. He looks so tired, not moving his head at all to look at Cole when he spoke.

“Yeah.” confirms Cole, glancing to the shut door before settling into the seat where Nya had just been.

Jay starts to sniffle, and it quickly turns into full blown sobs.

“Hey, What's wrong?” Cole reaches out to squeeze Jay's hand through the rubber glove. “Should I call her back?”

“No!” Jay snaps quickly. “I just… I've been trying so hard… to hold it in… to be brave… I can't do it Cole- I can't!” words tumble out in between the sobs.

“Hey, no one said you have to be brave, What's going on? What are you feeling?”

“It hurts! Fuck, I've never been in so much pain… and it doesn't stop… it's not gonna stop… I can't-”

“Jay, breathe. It’s going to stop, you just need to hold on a bit longer.”

“What was I thinking! How could I do this to her? Wu told me… you all told me… I didn't listen… I should have listened… I'm so stupid!”

“Jay, breathe!” Cole was growing increasingly worried, Jay wasn't looking at him, eyes stuck somewhere in the distance.

“And now I'm gonna die… from my own powers! I'm gonna shock myself until my heart stops… and then Nya's gonna see… and it hurts… and I can't stop it… I can't! Fuck… what have I done Cole?!”

Cole lets out a sigh as he climbs into Jay's bed, pulling Jay's shivering body into his lap, taking off his rubber gloves so he could properly feel the warmth of his skin, the softness of his curls. “Hey, I'm here. You're going to be ok. You're not going to die.”

“Cole? What are you doing? I'm gonna shock you!” Jay tries feebly to push Cole away, but he is so weak and Cole only pulls Jay in tighter.

“I'll be fine.” says Cole without concern. “You've been getting shocked all day, I'll manage a few. I'm not leaving, so you better just accept it.”

The fight in Jay evaporates and he leans into Cole’s embrace, large sob bursting from his lips. Cole just holds him, squeezing him tighter. “Let it out. I got you.”

Jay cries, body trembling, now with one more possible reason as to why. “I'm scared.”

“Me too.” says Cole.

“I'm sor-” the word is cut off as a shock ripples through Jay. His body clenches as the familiar fire ignites throughout his muscles. But it passes quickly, muscles relaxing, head ringing. It had been doing that more, taking longer each time for him to find his bearings.

“-ay? Jay?” Someone was shaking him, and it hurt.

He lets out a groan, an acknowledgement that he was still alive and the shaking at least stopped. It wasn't Nya's voice this time, like it had been for a while now. It was different. Cole… he was touching Cole… “Cole!” Reality snaps back into focus as Jay pushes himself up on trembling arms to look at Cole. “A-are you ok?”

Cole smiles warmly, running a hand through Jay's hair. “I'm fine zap trap. It hurt, but you've done me worse in training.”

Jay relaxes slightly, collapsing back into Cole's lap, trying to remember what they were talking about. “I'm sorry…”

“It's fine Jay, I chose to sit here.” Jay closes his eyes for a second, but can hear the slight smile in Cole's voice. “Dude, when was the last time you slept?”

Jay frowns, eyes fluttering open once more. “I dunno…” he shrugs. “It's pretty hard to sleep when you are getting shocked over and over…”

“Maybe you should try? Rest could help you regain some strength.”

“What if it makes the shocks worse? What if I can't control it?”

“Are you really controlling it now?” asks Cole sceptically. Jay doesn't respond. “I'm sure the shocks will wake you up, you'll still be able to react to it.”

Jay gives a small nod. He lies there for a moment with his eyes shut, breaths even, and Cole wonders if he might already be asleep.

“Cole? What if I don't wake up?” his voice is so small, timid.

“Not gonna happen.” says Cole, squeezing him tighter.

Jay starts crying again, softer this time, not holding the same raw panic as before.

~~

Lloyd gently slides open Jay's door and sees Cole sitting in his bed with Jay asleep in his lap.

“Should you be sitting there?” whispers Lloyd with a frown. “Wait- does that mean the shocks stopped??” he asks hopefully.

“No.” says Cole glumly. “I'm just a sucker for punishment.” Lloyd sighs, leaning on the wall. “I'm fine, I've always had a higher tolerance to Jay's lightning than the rest of you.”

“Still,” says Lloyd gently, “there is no point in you getting hurt too.”

“He was really freaking out before.” says Cole. “It was the only thing I could think of to calm him down, and it worked. He's got a solid 4 hours sleep, although there have been a few interruptions…”

“Is it at least slowing down?” asks Lloyd.

Cole shrugs, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Maybe a little, been um, 52 minutes since the last one.”

Lloyd sighs again, “so due for another one soon.”

“Probably.” says Cole, feeling Jay's forehead. Still unbearably warm.

As if on command there is the flash of sparks and Cole feels the now familiar pain as his muscles tighten. This one lasts longer than normal.

“Cole, Cole!” He hears Lloyd panicking, but is unable to respond. A gloved hand grips his shoulder then he is mercifully released, body relaxing against the headboard. “Cole, you alright?”

Cole runs a shaky hand up into his hair. “Damn, that was a big one. I'm fine.” he assures Lloyd before reaching down towards Jay. “Jay, buddy, you ok?”

Jay doesn't react at all, lying limp on Cole’s lap.

Lloyd's eyes go wide and he looks up at Cole. “Is he… is he breathing?”

Jay was currently face down in Cole's lap, so Cole gently flips him over so they can get a better look. He squeezes Jay's shoulders again, before holding a hand in front of his mouth, trying to feel his breaths. “Jay, Jay? Come on…” After a couple seconds Jay opens his eyes with a startled gasp. Cole pulls his hand back slightly and lets out a relieved breath. “Don't scare me like that-”

He is interrupted by Jay groggily pushing his hands away. “Get off! Get off me!”

Cole reluctantly obeys, getting out of the bed, still standing close, Lloyd looking over his shoulder. “Jay, it's just me. You alright?”

“No! Go away! No more…” he curls up, turning away from them, and starts pulling at the wires on his wrists, although the adhesive patches used to attach them are strong, so it doesn't have much of an impact.

Cole reaches out to stop him. “Hey, you can't take that off just yet, it's helping you.”

Jay turns and looks at Cole with big scared eyes that quickly change into a look of confusion. “Cole?” he croaks, “What are you doing here?” he whispers like he is afraid of being overheard.

“Yeah buddy, just me, do you know where you are?”

Jay’s eyes jump between the ceiling, the walls and his friends. “Um… I'm in my room.” says Jay with a tone that implies he doesn’t quite believe it. “It was just a dream…”

Cole wants to give Jay his normal reassurances after having a nightmare. ‘Everything’s fine, you're safe’ but realises it doesn’t really apply in this situation, reality probably being more dangerous than whatever he was dreaming about, so bites his tongue.

“What were you dreaming about?” asks Lloyd with concern.

Jay ignores the question, blinking a couple times as he flops back onto his back. “If it was just a dream, why does everything hurt for real?” He runs a hand up to where the wire is attached on his opposite wrist, picking at the corner for a moment, frowning at it like he is surprised it didn’t disappear with the rest of the dream.

Cole and Lloyd exchange a look before turning back to Jay. Cole reaches out his hand again now Jay seems to be a bit more calm. “You’re sick, remember?”

Jay stops picking at the adhesive and frowns, processing the statement for a few seconds before responding. “Sick? Right… um… elemental fever?” Cole nods. He was probably just dazed after the large shock, but it wasn’t just Jay’s heart they were worried about, electricity could have disastrous impacts on the mind too. “Where’s Nya?” asks Jay timidly.

“Um, I’ll go get her.” says Lloyd. He gives Jay a half hearted smile, before turning and walking out.

Nya soon comes into the room, tired eyes indicating she may have been sleeping. Cole quickly makes room by Jay’s bedside.

“Hey,” she says warmly, “you were asking for me?” She quickly slips on some gloves so she can hold his hand.

“I was?” Jay looks up towards her. “Right… I just wanted to see you were ok.” A tired smile rests on his face as he looks at her.

Nya shoots a confused look towards Cole. “Did something happen? He seems…” Jay’s eyes had given up staying focussed on her, resting in a half closed state.

“He had a large shock a few minutes ago,” explains Cole, “before that he was having a nightmare, was a bit confused when he woke up.”

“A nightmare?” Nya realises why Jay had asked for her. She turns back towards him, squeezing his hand to get his attention. “About Nadakhan?” Jay nods, and she feels him squeeze back. He seemed a bit dazed, but was still responsive. “No need to worry. I’m safe, and he’s long gone.” Jay nods again.

~~

A while later Nya is still sitting with Jay. The shocks were starting to slow down, but this might not be a good thing as the intensity of each seemed to have increased. Nya tried to convince herself that change was good, that it meant the disease was one step closer to being over, being finished.

Tried to ignore the other way that it was likely to end.

Jay was so weak, constantly trembling, still feverish. Each shock left him non-responsive for a few seconds up to a few minutes. She wanted him to use the drugs, convinced he was too exhausted to be controlling it at all, but then it would also be harder to check if he was still there.

“Hey Nya?” comes his weak voice, “don’t worry so much.”

She realises the expression she was holding in her face, takes a deep breath and tries to force it to relax. The last thing she wanted was to freak Jay out, let him think she thought he wasn’t going to make it. She forces it into an uncomfortable smile. “Sorry.” she doesn’t know what else to say, how to fill the void of silence sitting between them.

“You know, ECT is an effective treatment for depression.”

The smile immediately falls from her face. “What?”

“Electro Convulsive Therapy, I know it sounds crazy, but it’s a real treatment.”

She pauses briefly before responding, was he just reminding her about it? “Jay, I know about ECT, because you told me this already.”

It’s Jay’s turn to frown, fake smile fading away. “I did, when?”

“Earlier today, you don’t remember?”

Jay pauses, blinking a few times. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Why… why don’t I remember?”

Nya squeezes his hand. “Kai got pretty delirious too when he had his fever. Don’t worry about it Jay, it doesn’t mean anything.”

She really hopes she’s right.

~~

An hour later Jay has a particularly bad shock. Nya and Lloyd are in the room with him at the time. He’s laying on his back, semi-conscious, still thankfully breathing. Nya is squeezing his hand and shoulder, speaking his name, trying to rouse him, get his attention.

Eventually the glossy eyes start to shift, Jay moving slightly, flinching away from her touch. “No… no…” he mumbles.

Nya pulls away, giving him some space. “Jay, what’s wrong, does it hurt?” she meant her touch, but realises that was a bloody stupid question given his current condition.

“No… no more…”

“Do you want the drugs?” asks Lloyd hopefully, they hated seeing him suffer like this, but he had been very adamant that he didn’t want them.

“You win, ok? I give up.”

“Is that a yes?” asks Lloyd gently, shooting a confused glance towards Nya. At least Jay’s speech was becoming more coherent.

“I wish… I wish it all away.”

Nya feels her stomach drop. No…

“I’ll go get Misako.” says Lloyd, briefly squeezing her arm before he slips out of the room.

“Didn’t you hear me? I wish it all away! Why isn’t it working? This is what you wanted right? I give up, make it stop, just make it stop!” There are tears forming in his eyes.

“Jay, it's me, Nya, Nadakhan isn’t here.” says Nya, voice laced with despair. She wants to reach out and hold him, offer some comfort, but if he thinks he’s on Misfortune’s Keep… he probably didn’t want anyone touching him. He had told her some of what happened, she had filled in blanks on the rest. Brutal torture for weeks, but he didn’t crack, didn’t give up… until now.

Which meant this was worse.

The pain he was in now was worse than everything Nadakhan put him through. She feels sick just thinking about it.

“Well go get him! Please… just stop hurting me… I can’t… I just… no more…”

“Ok, we’ll get him, we’ll make it stop, just hold on.” If he wasn’t going to break out of the delusion, the least she could do was try to comfort him inside of it.

Thankfully Lloyd had been quick, Misako entering the room with a vial and syringe, Lloyd following closely behind. “I heard he had a change of mind?” she asks while drawing the dose.

“Not exactly,” says Nya, “he doesn’t know where he is, doesn’t understand what’s happening, he wants the pain to stop.”

Misako leans towards him, and he flinches back. “What’s that? You’re not Nadakhan… I don’t want that… go get Nadakhan!”

Misako frowns at the sight before her. “Jay, listen. It’s Misako, this is going to help you ok? Help with the pain.”

Jay wriggles further away from Misako, shaking his head. “No… not that… no…”

Misako lets out a sigh before saying to Lloyd and Nya, “Please hold him still.”

Lloyd and Nya reluctantly reach out to keep Jay in place, he wriggles weakly under their grip as the shot is administered. “No! Stop! Get off me!” His blanket is kicked onto the floor.

FSM, please let this not be the last thing he says…  

His struggling starts to fade and Nya lifts a hand to cup his cheek. “Jay, it’s going to be ok. Just, keep fighting, ok?”

He doesn’t respond, body going limp as his eyelids droop closed.

Nya can't hold it in any longer. She had been trying so hard to stay positive for Jay, but he was… fuck, it was going exactly as Wu had predicted.

She drops to her knees as tears start streaming down her face. She no longer needed to hold him down, so her gloved hands slip down to clutch at Jay's now limp hand. “Jay…” she gasps, but doesn't know what else to say.

Her gut continues to somersault as residual thoughts of Nadakhan come bubbling to the surface. Any day that she didn't think about him was a good day, and they had been becoming more common, but she was pretty sure she was about to have a significant relapse.

‘I wish… I wish it all away.’

Jay had been so proud that despite everything they did to him, he never gave up. That was one of the things that he would cling to, that in the past she had used to help pull him out of his anxious spiralling. But now? 

It didn't count, she knows it doesn't count! His own imagination and powers being the ones doing the torturing. Nadakhan wasn't even here. If Jay's head were clear, he never would have given up… but did they have ways of making his head not clear too? The way he flinched back from the shot, surely that didn't mean anything?

‘No… not that… no…’

Surely that was just him remembering he didn't want the drugs? But they had to do something, they couldn't leave him like that, they couldn't leave him trapped on that ship, even if it was only in his head. Not again, she wouldn't leave him there again. She couldn't…

‘No! Stop! Get off me!’

The tears come harder, loud ugly sobs bursting from her mouth as she folds over laying her head on the bed. Now the last thing he could ever experience might be her holding him down, her own hands playing out a role in his torture…

A warm hand grips her shoulder and is accompanied by a sad voice, “Nya…”

She pays it no mind. Nothing mattered right now except for Jay. The delicate hand clutched between her trembling fingers.

“Nya, come on… let's go.”

“No.” She shakes her head, still lowered, resting on her trembling arms. “I'm not leaving him…”

“Nya… I think you're hurting him?”

Nya's head whips up as she lets go of Jay's hand. It does in fact have red lines where she had been clutching it. “I…” she doesn't know what to say, and she really doesn’t want to hurt him, he was so hurt already.

“It's ok, but come on, there's nothing more you can do right now.”

Before she has a chance to react she is being hoisted up by strong warm arms that could only belong to her brother. One under her legs, another supporting her back. “No, Kai! Stop…” she gasps between sobs, before coughing, that familiar ache squeezing her chest. She flails, wiggling in his grip, but he only holds her tighter, squeezing her close against his own body and…

The fight in her vanishes, snapped clean in half. Her flailing hands wrap around his neck, holding fistfuls of shirt as she sobs into his shoulder. There is the sound of footsteps and she's vaguely aware they have already left Jay's room.

“Oh Nya…”

The movement stops as Kai sits down, still holding her, making no move to set her aside. Not telling her to calm down, not telling her she was over-reacting.

“Let it out. It’s ok.”

“It’s not- ok! It’s- he’s…” she gasps between sobs.

“Lloyd told me they finally sedated him… he’s not dead Nya, it just means he’s going to be in less pain, that’s good.”

“No! He- I- I had to…” she can’t finish the sentence, can’t explain how horrible it felt to hold him down. She starts crying harder, which triggers a bout of coughing, chest aching with every jolt.

“Nya, you’re still sick, you have pneumonia… you need to rest. Jay is resting right now, so you need to rest too.”

“How am I supposed to rest, when he’s dying Kai?”

Kai squeezes her tighter. “He’s not going to die.”

“We don’t know that!”

Kai closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, getting deja vu to Jay in the courtyard. ‘She’s dying, isn’t she?’ It was no wonder these two idiots fell for each other. At least she was starting to speak in full sentences, not full of the same raw despair as when he had first picked her up. “What can I do?”

“What?” Nya pulls away slightly to look at him, still sniffling with a puffy face.

“Do you want me to stay here with you, or do you want me to go sit with Jay? Look out for him in your place, while you rest.”

She looks around, seeing they are in her bedroom, sitting on her bed. “Promise me you’ll look after him?”

“I promise. He’s going to be fine Nya, he’s not going to die.”

She nods, and starts disentangling herself from her brother, sliding into bed, fatigue resting heavily on her thoughts.

~~

Back in Jay's room Misako dials up the Walkers. “No… I’m sorry, but it’s not good news. He's getting worse. I think you should come. One way or another, it is likely to end soon.”

~~

~~

The next morning after resting Nya once again sits by Jay's bedside. His fever had broken hours ago, the shocks ceasing along with it. His body temperature was still slightly elevated, but it seemed safe to stop the strong pain meds and now she was just waiting for him to wake up.

Waiting to see if he was still there.

He finally starts to stir and she leans over the bed, grabbing at his hand. “Jay, your fever broke, you're going to be ok.”

He wriggles around, opening his eyes slowly, squinting at her like she said something stupid. “What?”

Nya takes a breath, he was just waking up. Probably hadn't heard her. “Your fever broke, you're going to be ok.”

“My what? Am I sick? Is that why I feel like crap?”

Nya freezes, an ugly panic coiling inside her. “You… don't remember?”

“Remember what?” Jay starts pushing himself up into a seated position, but pauses when he catches sight of his arms. Multiple burn marks, like giant cigarette burns with fresh lichtenberg lines coming out of each. “What the fuck?”

His memory had started having issues before the shocks stopped, this really wasn't a big surprise, but she had been so hopeful that he would bounce back like the rest of them. She puts on a brave face, not wanting to panic him more by freaking out. “Jay, I'll tell you about your arms, but first, what is the last thing you remember?”

Jay drags his eyes away from his arms and turns to her, a mix of horror and fear on his face. “I um…” he closes his eyes trying to think. “Ugh! This shouldn't be that hard… I think Lloyd was planning a trip with his mum?”

“But he hadn't left yet?”

Jay opens his eyes again and shakes his head. “No. I don't think so?”

“Jay… that was over three weeks ago.”

Jay looks at her with disbelief. “Why don't I remember, have I been sick that whole time?”

“No. Roughly three days ago you caught elemental fever.”

“What the fuck is elemental fever?”

“It is a disease that makes elemental masters lose control of and immunity from their own elements. You shocked yourself… a lot.” She traces a hand delicately along one of the burns. “We used wires to try and draw it out of you, but, it was not without drawbacks.”

Jay pauses, taking in her words, poking at the marks on his arms. “Well this sucks.” he declares while still looking at his arms.

“It could suck more.” says Nya sadly.

“How could this possibly suck more?”

Nya flinches slightly before answering. “Jay… we thought you were going to die.”

Jay deflates slightly. “Sorry… I just, I'm pretty freaked out right now.” He coughs, lifting a hand to his chest, probably still sore.

Nya nods. “Yeah, so am I.” She squeezes his hand reassuringly. “Do you think you would be up to eating something?” Jay nods. “Ok, I'll be right back.”

Nya puts in some bread to the toaster and takes a moment in the kitchen to recollect her feelings.

He doesn't remember the last 3 weeks!

That was bad, but it might be a good thing that he couldn't remember the last three days. He had endured an ordeal that by his own assessment was worse than torture. So it was fine right? They'd tell him about the last three weeks, and everything would be fine! He'd be the same old Jay, just with a three week gap.

Eventually the toast is done. She puts it on a plate, slathers some chocolate spread, then takes it back to Jay.

When she opens the door she sees Jay staring at his arms in horror. He turns to her as soon as she opens the door, eyes wide and panicked, tears clinging to the edges. “Nya?” He sounds terrified.

“Jay? What's wrong, does something hurt?” She hurries over to him, shoving the food to the side, it could wait.

“Nya, what's going on? What happened to my arms?”

“Jay, we just went over this, you had elemental fever.”

“What the fuck is elemental fever?”

Nya feels like the floor has fallen out from under her. 

He doesn't remember... He doesn't remember 5 minutes ago!

“Nya?”

He sounds so worried, but she's frozen.

“Nya? What's wrong? Why can't I remember?”

“Jay, I'm sorry… I need to get the others.” She gives his hand a reassuring squeeze before heading to the door.

Chapter Text

Jay is sitting in his bed. He has a long sleeved hoodie on, but his arms don't feel right. Kinda tingly like he'd been lying on them funny. They’re trembling slightly too, and he’s not sure why.

Nya, and Wu are sitting on his bed, Kai is standing nearby, with Lloyd and Cole hovering in the doorway. They are all staring at him with worry stricken faces.

Something is wrong.

Something is wrong with me.

But he can't remember what. He clenches and unclenches his fists trying to figure out why his arms felt weird.

“Why are you all in my room?” he asks timidly. He's not really sure what's going on. Maybe he's sick? He doesn't feel great, there is a weariness resting over everything. He coughs, and his chest aches with the movement.

“Jay,” Wu sounds serious, drawing Jay's attention. “Do you remember the three words I told you when I came in?”

Jay blinks, and frowns slightly, trying to remember. Three words? Why would Wu want him to remember three words? “Um, go ninja go?” he guesses wildly.

Wu and Nya exchange a look. Jay feels panic rising inside of him, and the looks everyone is giving him right now isn't helping. “Can someone please explain what's going on?”

Nya looks so sad as she takes his hand. “We'd love to, but you won't remember it for long.”

…

Jay is sitting in his bed. There is a hand written poster on the wall.

DON'T PANIC!

You had elemental fever.

You shocked yourself A LOT.

It's affecting your memory.

We think it's temporary.

Jay groans, he doesn't remember that, but as he reads it, there is a hint of familiarity. He looks around the room and sees Lloyd leaning near the window. “What idiot came up with the wording?” he says with frustration, before coughing. He must still be recovering.

“That would be you.” says Lloyd. He sounds tired, bored. Like he was expecting the question, like he'd answered it before.

Guilt mixes in with Jay's frustration. “How many times have I asked that?” he asks quietly.

“It's not important Jay. You're not being repetitive on purpose.”

“Great! So I'm annoying and predictable!”

“That isn't what I said… we can always change it if you want?” Lloyd gestures towards the poster.

Jay reads it again, but the part that is wrong can't be fixed by changing the wording. “I shouldn't need a poster…”

Lloyd points to the last line. “Maybe in a few days you won't.”

…

Jay is lying down in his bed. It's dark. He's exhausted. He wants to sleep, but something doesn't feel right. He can't seem to get comfortable, shifting fabric rubbing against tender spots on his arms and legs. He rubs one leg up against the other, trying to scratch away the ‘itch’ but it doesn't help, and if anything makes it worse.

He rolls over, but his arm bumps up against something and it hurts. Something is wrong, and he needs to figure out what. He sits up and reaches over to the lamp, but a hand reaches out of the dark to stop him.

Jay pulls his hand back in alarm, squirming to the other side of the bed.

“Sorry… it's just me.” Jay blinks, and barely makes out Nya's silhouette in the moonlight.

He relaxes slightly, but is still confused. “Huh? What?” he croaks, looking around the rest of the dark room, before coughing. His chest ached, but not as much as his arms.

“Jay, please, you need to go to sleep.” she sounds so tired.

“Am I sick?”

“Yes, so you need rest.”

“Why are you watching me sleep?”

Nya sighs. “Because you keep sitting up, turning on the light, and staring at your arms.”

Jay frowns, looking between his arms, currently covered by a long shirt, and Nya. Why doesn't she want me looking at my arms? Why can't I remember doing what she said? “I- I don't understand.”

“Your memory isn't working very well right now. But we think it's temporary. You just need to rest and maybe things will be a bit better tomorrow?” She reaches out to hold his hand. “So please, just lie back down and try to sleep?”

Jay doesn't like that answer. My memory isn't working?? He has so many questions, but if his memory wasn't working, was there any point in asking them?

Nya sighs again, as he hadn't made any move to lie back down. “Come on Jay… I really don't want to drug you again.”

“Again?” He looks up at her, fear in his eyes.

Nya looks down. “Sorry, I shouldn't have said that…”

A million thoughts race through Jay's head. Why would they need to drug me? Why am I sick? What did they use? How many times? How long have I been sick? Why do my arms hurt? Why can't I remember??

He can't pull out anything cohesive into words, so simply stammers “Wh-what?” as his breaths start to speed up.

Nya reaches out a second hand to him, taking both of his hands in her own. “Jay, you were really sick. Hallucinating, shocking yourself with your powers. You didn't know where you were, and you were in a lot of pain. You wanted it to stop, so we made it stop. But that's finished now. You're getting better, but to keep improving you need to rest.”

Jay blinks a few times, processing, breathing, trying to calm down. This was Nya, he was safe with Nya right? He could trust her. “sorry… I just… my arms hurt.” he squeezes Nya's hands like a lifeline, mind still racing.

“Yeah… I can see why Cole was having so much trouble. He was trying to get you to sleep for over an hour.”

“He was?”

“Would it help if I got in the bed with you?”

Jay takes a breath before answering. “I, um, I dunno, maybe?”

Nya nods, sliding in beside Jay, and he does feel somewhat comforted having her strong warm arms wrapped around his aching body.

“It's going to be ok Jay, right now you just need to rest.”

She kisses his hair and he tries to trust her, closes his tired eyes and tries to let go. 

…

Jay is in the shower. He is trying to remember if he has already washed his hair. He is sitting on a plastic stool, which is weird, normally he would stand. He pauses, furrowing his brow, he must have been daydreaming pretty hard to forget where he was up to.

He catches sight of his arms. Multiple burn spots, with lichtenberg scars branching out. It looks painful, but he can barely feel it. 

I can't remember how it happened…

Jay was clumsy enough to get the occasional mystery bruise, but this? There is no way he wouldn't notice getting something like that… He glances past his arms and sees similar marks on his legs.

What the hell happened to me?

“Jay, are you staring at your burns again?”

“What?” croaks Jay from the shower. Why would Cole be in the bathroom while he was showering?

“You stopped moving, did you forget again?” Forget what? He hears Cole sigh. “Jay, I'll explain your arms after ok, but can you please just finish the shower? Do I need to come in and help?”

“No! I- um,” he coughs, feeling an ache in his chest, he must have been coughing a lot lately. Surely he didn't need help showering right? This was so embarrassing. “Um, have I washed my hair?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Jay moves onto cleaning the rest of his body, eyes fixated by the strange marks.

Something was wrong. Cole will explain after, so I just need to finish showering.

…

Jay is sitting with Pixal at the dining table. He is having breakfast, and she is holding a tablet.

“Do you know what day it is?” asks Pixal.

Jay frowns, he doesn't, but he doesn't want to admit it. “Tuesday?” he guesses.

She taps out something on the tablet. “What did we have for dinner yesterday?”

Jay sighs, that is a blank as well. “What's with the 20 questions? Can't a guy eat his breakfast in peace?”

“Jay, you have short term memory loss. We do this everyday to see if there is any improvement.”

Jay feels his cheeks flush. “I knew that.” He didn't.

“You didn't. It would help with data accuracy if you didn't lie to me.” Pixal sighs. “I think I have enough data for today. We can try again tomorrow. You can now enjoy your breakfast in peace.”

Jay stares at his half eaten toast, suddenly not hungry.

…

Jay wakes up. It's still dark. He needs to pee. His legs don't feel right. Tingly like he had been sleeping on them wrong.

He swings them over the side of his bed, and manages to stand ok. He leaves the light off, he's used to making the trek to the toilet without light.

He makes it to the door, but the pins and needles haven't cleared up as quickly as he was expecting. As he enters the hall he trips, landing with a loud thunk and accompanied expletive.

“Fuck, what is wrong with my legs!” He sits up and starts massaging them, but yelps in pain when his fingers pass over a particularly sensitive spot.

He hears footsteps and the sound of a sliding door.

“Jay, are you out here?” There is the soft crackle of fire as Kai lights a small flame, warm soft glow spreading over the hall, then a slight sigh of disappointment as Jay is spotted. “What are you doing out of bed?” asks Kai, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he walks over, crouching down beside Jay.

“Just trying to get to the bathroom.” grumbles Jay, feeling bad about waking up Kai.

“Righto. Um, do you need a hand? Did you fall?” Kai holds out his non-firey hand towards Jay.

Jay hesitates, not taking it immediately. He doesn't want to fall again in front of Kai by standing up too soon. “There's something wrong with my legs.” he admits sheepishly, tapping one of his feet on the floor, trying to shake out the tingling sensation.

Kai frowns, a flash of concern. “Pins and needles?”

“Yeah… but it hurts in places too.” He goes to start rolling up one of the legs of his pants, but Kai reaches out to stop him.

“Maybe you shouldn't…”

“Why?”

“Because I don't want to do this in the middle of the night… come on, let's just get you to the bathroom.”

“Do what?”

“Explain everything. Look, you got hurt and your memory is playing up, and it's 3am and you need to pee.” He holds out his hand again, and this time Jay takes it. Allowing himself to be hoisted up. He manages to stand despite the pins and needles.

“Thanks… and sorry, for waking you.”

“It's fine. Come on, let's go.”

Jay makes his way down the hall with Kai Hovering nearby in case he needs support.

It's not fine. Something is very wrong.

He has a million questions, but doesn't want to bother Kai. Your memory is acting up. What does that mean? How long have I been like this? How many times have they explained things to me already?

What's wrong with my legs?

Jay bites his tongue as he limps along the hall.

…

Jay is standing in the lair with Pixal, looking at Zane's unconscious form on one of the work benches.

“What happened to him?” asks Jay.

“He got sick, like you.”

Jay frowns, “Like me? Am I sick?” he suddenly feels the urge to cough, so maybe Pixal was right.

“Yes, you are recovering from elemental fever, it is impacting your short term memory, but we think it is temporary.” It sounds like a well rehearsed response. Jay feels like he should be upset and/or alarmed by the fact his memory wasn’t working, but the answer felt familiar, like on some level he already knew that. Business as usual, not worth panicking about. 

His eyes drift down towards Zane. How had a disease caused Zane to become sick? “But he's a nindroid?”

“Yes, but elemental fever affects elements, and he is an elemental master.”

Jay coughs again. He still doesn't understand why Zane is unconscious. “So what's wrong with him?”

“That is what I am trying to determine, I could use your help.”

“ My help?” How am I going to be able to help without a functioning memory?

“Yes, you sometimes help Zane with maintenance, correct?”

“Well, yeah…”

“When was the last time you helped him perform maintenance on his coolant system?”

Jay blinks, trying to remember. “I, um, I dunno Pix, I can't remember.”

She sighs. “You can still remember things from before, right? Like who broke your high score on BX5?”

“That was Lloyd, but I got it back two days later.” says Jay smugly. That was easy, so easy! So why can't I remember walking into the room?

“So did Zane mention anything about his coolant system?”

Jay tries to focus on the problem at hand, Pixal needed his help with Zane. He scratches at his head, and lets out a sigh. “If he did, I either wasn't listening, or it must have been a very long time ago. I only help with stuff he can’t do himself.”

“These systems should be maintained quarterly, and he would have needed someone to help.” Pixal traces her fingers over a component in an open panel, “but I suspect he was using his elemental powers to mask a faulty component.”

“He did mention something about waiting on a part… but said it wasn't important.”

“Hmm… that could explain it.” she sighs again, turning back to Jay. “When he contracted elemental fever he lost control of his element, could no longer mask the faulty coolant system. So he overheated. Even now, he can't regulate his body temperature correctly. I need to fix it before we can wake him up.”

Jay nods. “He's gonna be ok right?”

Pixal nods. “With time you will both get better.”

Both, cause I’m sick too. His arms start to feel a bit tingly, so he wraps them in close to his body. With the tingling feeling a familiar dread settles over him. Ok, so maybe it is worth panicking about after all.

…

Jay is eating soup. He's not sure if it is dinner or lunch. That thought has him trapped in a thought spiral. How could I not know?

Suddenly pain shoots along his arms, a tingly twitchy type of pain. Kind of like he's getting shocked, but he's not using his powers at all. And even if he were, it shouldn't feel like this.

He drops his spoon as he lets out a surprised gasp. It lands with an extravagant plop, managing to catapult some soup an impressive distance.

“Jay, are you ok?” asks Master Wu.

“No.” Jay pulls his arms into his chest, hoping that would somehow help. “Something’s wrong with my arms?”

Nya's hand reaches out to his shoulder. “Breathe, it will pass.”

“It hurts…” Jay curls up further.

“I know, it will pass.”

“How do you know? What happened? What's wrong with my arms?”

“You got sick.” says Wu. “It is an after effect of the illness, a side effect of severe electric shock.”

“We're seeing the doctor tomorrow.” assures Nya.

“Make it stop.” begs Jay.

…

Jay is sitting in a doctor's waiting room. Nya is sitting beside him holding his hand. That was strange, she normally wasn't big on PDA.

He feels his arm twitch, and it hurts. She must have felt it, as she looks towards him. “Hey, are you ok?” she asks it so gently.

“My arms hurt.” he admits.

She nods. “Yeah… that's one of the reasons why we're here. The doctor is going to take a look, run some tests.”

Jay nods. There's something wrong with his memory too. He knows that much, but he's too embarrassed to ask what happened to my arms? He's sure she would have explained it a million times by now. Probably the same thing that fucked up his memory. A new powerful enemy?

“They're going to fix it right?” he asks instead.

She hesitates. “I hope so. There has to be something that they can do to help.”

…

Jay is fuming. Furious with the world, angrily gripping his comforter as he lies on his side.

Something is wrong.

He can't remember what, and this only adds to his rage.

Kai comes in and takes a look at Jay. “Wowee, Cole was right, you are grumpy today.”

“Shove off Kai.” grumbles Jay.

Kai raises his hands defensively. “Come on! I haven't been here long enough to do anything that deserves this level of harassment.” His tone is jovial, which somehow makes Jay even angrier.

“Well maybe you should leave while you're ahead!”

Kai chuckles at that. “Seriously Jay, what's got you so worked up?” Jay pauses, clutching the bedding, not saying anything. “Oh wow. You can't even remember!” Kai laughs, louder this time.

“Shut up! It's not funny!” Jay finally turns to face Kai.

“Oh come on, it's a little funny?”

“You wouldn't be laughing if it was you.”

Kai forces his face back into a neutral expression. “I'd rather be laughing than moping all day. Wouldn't you?”

Jay sighs. “I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.” He pauses, eyes wandering up past Kai's face, small frown growing on his own. “Wait… did you burn your hair?”

“Huh?” Kai runs a hand up into his hair. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Haven't had time to get it cut yet.”

Jay chuckles. “Now that's funny.”

Kai smiles, joining in. “You're right!” He lights a flame on his hand. “If you want, I could do yours to match?”

“Noooo!” complains Jay among more giggles.

…

Jay sits in the med bay, holding his hands out as Pixal dabs them with disinfectant. It stings, his hands are shaking slightly. His arms feel fuzzy, and so do his legs. He sniffs, feeling a wetness on his face. Was I… crying? He can’t remember why.

“See, it is going to be ok Jay.” says Pixal reassuringly, letting go of one of his hands, and moving to the other, turning it over. The palms are grazed, one clean, the other with drying blood.

“What is?” he asks her, voice wavering. Yeah, he’d definitely been crying. He watches as she looks up, meeting his eyes. That look of realisation, oh, you've forgotten again. That pause as she calculates how much to share with him, how much to hold back.

She looks back down, beginning to clean the second hand. “You fell. Your legs and arms are injured from electric shock.”

“I know that.” he snaps at her. He could remember some things, like the fact that his memory was fucked. Like the fact that his arms and legs kept hurting.

“Good. That’s good Jay.” 

He clenches his free hand. “Not good enough…” he mutters.

Pixal sighs. “Your legs were being tingly, so you fell,” she wipes at the cuts on his palm, “then you got frustrated about falling and punched a wall.” She turns over the hand, moving on to cleaning his knuckles.

“Great…” huffs Jay, “another set of injuries to be constantly confused by!”

“And this one will be harder to conceal with long sleeves…” muses Pixal.

Jay frowns, he knew his arms hurt, but… He pulls his hand away from Pixal and slides up one of his sleeves, revealing healing scabs, with lichtenberg scars branching out. “The fuck?” he feels his pulse increase slightly, mind trying to imagine how it happened, what it felt like, was I conscious? Pixal waits patiently. Jay eventually tears away his eyes from his arm to look at her. “You hide this from me?”

She shakes her head. “You hide it from yourself. It’s easier.”

Jay stares at her for a moment. “My legs are the same, aren’t they?” She nods.

He goes back to staring at his arm, still shaking slightly, blood dripping from his fist. “I’m never going to be ok again, am I?”

Pixal reaches out to take his hand once more, wiping away the fresh blood. “Don’t say that. It’s small, but we are seeing some improvement with your memory.”

Jay sighs, rolling down his sleeve, and letting Pixal continue her work. “Not enough…” he mutters, feeling fresh tears. At least for now he had figured out why he was crying.

Chapter Text

Jay is watching a movie with Cole. His arms are hurting again. Pins and needles that shoot up and down. He pulls them in close to his body, trying to give them comfort as he continues to watch. 

It's an old Fritz Donnagan movie, one Jay could practically recite by heart. That's probably why Cole chose it, Jay wouldn't keep up with something new. He sighs slightly at the thought.

“What's up?” says Cole. “You're quieter than normal today.”

“Yeah? I'll take your word for it.” Jay's voice is glum.

Cole pauses the movie and turns to him with concern. “Yeah. You normally don't stop asking questions.”

Jay fiddles with his hands. “I don't want to bother you.”

Cole frowns. “What do you mean?”

Jay pauses before answering. “It's like, I think of a question, but then I think, how many times have I asked it already? And I'm not even going to remember the answer! So what's the point... I'm just annoying everyone for nothing.”

Cole slides over and wraps an arm around him. “You do realise the reason we are keeping someone with you as much as possible is so you have someone to ask questions to right?”

“But I won't remember Cole! I can't remember anything!”

“You remembered that.” Jay pauses. I remembered I have a memory problem… “Two days ago you couldn't do that. So, you are getting better. Or maybe you just need to hear the answer a hundred times before it sinks in. So you should ask more questions, not less.”

“That's a pretty good pep talk. Shame I won't remember it.”

“Oh, it took a few tries to perfect.” Cole gives Jay a wink.

Jay chuckles nervously, but can't tell if he's joking.

…

Jay is holding a small plastic cup with some pills in it. He frowns at them, a feeling of unease resting in his gut.

“Are you going to take them?” asks Misako, who was sitting next to him.

“Um, what are they for?” he asks nervously. He feels drained, tired, sore… He knew his arms hurt, and that his memory was having problems, but something else wasn’t right. Were the pills going to make it better, or worse? Why does she want me to take them?

“How about we do them one by one?” offers Misako gently, “I explain what it is for, then you take it?”

Surely they wouldn’t make me take medications that weren’t helping, right? “Um, sure…” He nods timidly and Misako takes the cup off him.

She pulls out a clear yellow one. “First up there are a couple of vitamins that may assist in your recovery. This one is fish oil,” she places it in Jay’s hand, “and this one is a multi-vitamin.” She adds a round white one.

Jay scoffs. His dad could drone on for hours about how vitamins were scams and only good for making expensive urine. But while he didn’t believe they would help, he was smart enough to know it wouldn’t make anything worse. It wasn’t worth arguing about, so he shoves them both in his mouth and downs them with a mouthful of water.

Misako smiles at him as she takes out the next pill. “This is one the doctor wants to trial to help with your nerve pain.”

“I have nerve pain?” He raises one eyebrow looking at her.

“In your arms mostly, an after effect of severe electric shock.”

Right. He knew his arms hurt, but nerve pain? That didn’t sound good. He frowns at the pill. “Any side effects?”

“You haven’t displayed any so far.” assures Misako. Jay bites his lip, wondering how long he has been taking them, before letting out a small huff and decides to take the pill. He feels Misako’s eyes on him as he sips at the water to wash it down. “Ok, good. Lucky last.” Misako places the last pill in his outstretched hand.

Jay frowns again, he recognises it. He used to take these years ago for his anxiety, and more recently he had needed some after his run in with Nadakhan. “No.” he says as he puts the pill down on the table. Shit. Was that why he felt so hazy and out of it?

“Jay…” Misako’s voice is laced with disappointment. “The doctor thought it could help. It has been an incredibly stressful time for you, and stress doesn’t assist with recovery.”

“I don’t care.” He pulls his hands up into his hair. “I already feel like I can’t focus, like everything is slipping away, like I’m not in the right frame of mind… that will just make it feel worse.”

Misako frowns at him, then lets out a sigh. “Well, the point of it is to make you stress less, so I’m not going to stress you out more by trying to force you to take it.” She takes the pill back and sets it aside in the cup once more.

“Really?” asks Jay, loosening the grip on his hair, he had been preparing for a fight, body tensing, bracing to be yelled at, ready to yell back if needed.

She reaches out to his shoulder. “The nerve pain one is the most important, the rest are optional. It’s ok.”

He blinks at her a couple of times before muttering, “Thank you.” The knot in his stomach loosens a little. Everything felt so out of control, he couldn't remember shit, and apparently has nerve damage… But I said no, and she listened. Which meant; if I said no before, when I can’t remember, they would have listened then too. They weren’t dosing him up to make this easier on them, to make him easier to manage. He feels a tear forming on his face, and reaches up to wipe it away.

I still have consent… something which he had been without before. He hadn’t felt so lost, and hurt, and scared since he had been a captive of Nadakhan. No hadn't meant anything up there.

“It’s fine Jay, we just want you to get better.”

He nods again. “Thank you.” he says once more.

…

Jay is playing Tetris on an old Gameboy. He's not sure who loaned it to him, but at least he didn't need much memory to react to what the bricks were doing on the screen.

He's doing pretty well, bricks falling at a stupidly fast pace, in the zone, mind figuring out which brick goes where on pure instinct, when his arm twitches. The brick goes on the wrong spot, and others quickly land on top.

“Argh!” In his frustration some lightning escapes his fingers and the screen goes black, small amount of smoke coming out.

“Oh… shit. Dammit.” He wants to hurl it at the wall, but it isn't his. He normally had much better control over his lightning…

Lloyd walks into the room with snacks. “How's Tetris going?”

“I think I broke it…” Jay admits glumly.

“You broke it?!” The alarm evident on Lloyd's face makes Jay cringe.

“It was yours wasn't it?” asks Jay.

Lloyd runs a hand up into his hair. “Yeah… that's ok. Don't worry about it, I have a newer console anyway.”

The tone of his voice makes Jay suspect that Lloyd did in fact care that his game was broken. “Lloyd, I'm so sorry. I'll fix it.”

“Sure Jay, we can try that later.” He takes the broken gameboy from Jay. Jay can’t help but thank that he’s lying, and he will never see the console again. Not even remember that he had hurt Lloyd by breaking it.

It wasn’t fair, I deserve to carry that guilt around.

…

Jay is lying in his bed. Light streams through the open window, filling the room.

“Come on Jay, it’s almost noon, don’t you want to get up and dressed?” Cole asks, standing slightly out of Jay’s line of sight. 

“No.” mumbles Jay, pulling the sheets over his head.

“Why not?” Cole sounds tired, like it isn’t the first time he’s asked.

Jay pulls the sheet down again with a frustrated sigh. “Cause there’s no point! I’m not going to remember today, so there is no point doing anything! I may as well just stay here.”

Cole lets out a disappointed sigh, but doesn’t try to argue. He doesn’t leave either. No sound of footsteps exiting the room. After a minute Jay rolls over, such that he could see what Cole was doing. He was just standing there waiting, looking at him with pity.

“What are you doing? I said I’m not getting up, so you may as well leave!”

“I’m not leaving Jay.” says Cole flatly.

“Why not?”

Cole pulls his phone out of his pocket, glancing at the time. “I’ll try again in 10 minutes or so.”

Jay scowls at him. “You’re what, just waiting for me to forget?”

Cole shrugs, eyes shifting to the window. “Right now you don’t want to get up, I respect that, but your mood changes pretty quick these days.”

Jay stares at Cole for a moment longer, a sense of betrayal sitting in his gut. He huffs, pulling the sheet over his head once more. “I’m NOT getting up!”

“That’s fine Jay.”

It wasn’t. Nothing about this was fine.

…

Jay is walking to the kitchen to get a drink. His legs are being tingly, so he's walking slowly, watching each step. As he gets closer he hears voices.

“Nya, he's not going to be like this forever.”

“We don't know that Cole! The doctors keep saying we need to wait and see, but how long am I supposed to wait? How long are we supposed to do this?”

“I get it… it's hard seeing him like this. It's like he's stuck somewhere else, but he's still right here.”

“Sometimes he says something that's just so Jay, and I forget he's sick…”

Jay finally makes it to the doorway, he sees Nya tense as he's spotted. “Gee, I wonder what that's like.” He meets her eyes and sees they are filled with a mix of sadness, guilt, and something else? He doesn't like seeing her like that, so turns away and continues his trek into the room. “You may as well continue talking about me. I'm not going to remember it anyway.”

Nya shakes her head and walks out in a huff.

Cole lets out a sigh. “You might not remember this, but she will…” he says to Jay, leaning on the counter as Jay goes to get a glass.

Guilt pools in his stomach, but Jay can't bring himself to apologise. His mind eagerly working through the look she gave him, trying to figure out what it means before he forgets. “Why do I get the feeling that this is all my fault?” Cole hesitates, looking away. Jay's stomach churns. “It is??” he asks in alarm.

“No, Jay… well, not exactly. You did something stupid, but no one expected this to happen…”

“Cole, what did I do??” Jay reaches out to grip Cole's shoulders.

“It's not important Jay. Right now, you just need to get better. We can talk about all that after.”

He's panicked, and upset, and knows he will forget this.

It’s my fault, it’s all my fault…

…

Jay is resting in his bed. He's not sure how long he's been here, or if he is supposed to be doing something else.

He pulls out his phone, opening the to-do app which is now the only app on his home page. Guess I kept forgetting which app it was… A bunch of things are ticked off, like get dressed, have breakfast, brush teeth. There is nothing else listed until lunch, so he lets out a sigh and swaps to a video app, scrolling for something short to watch.

Nya walks in through the open door. “Hey, Jay, I was thinking we could-” her voice cuts out as she catches sight of his wall. “What the hell is that??” she points in alarm at a handwritten poster.

Jay pushes himself up so he can see. There are two pages, with large messy text. 

The first page reads: You can’t remember shit.

The second page reads: and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT .

He feels guilt twist in his gut. He can’t remember writing that, but it did look like his writing, and none of his friends would write something so cruel, would they? No… it had to have been him.

“Jay… why would you write something like that?!” Nya had come to the same conclusion.

Jay shrugs. “I dunno, felt like a good idea at the time.” Seriously, how did she expect him to answer something like that? He obviously couldn't remember. She goes over to it and starts picking at the corner, where tape is holding it to the wall. “Stop. What are you doing?” says Jay as he starts to get out of bed.

“I’m taking it down.” says Nya.

Jay walks over and places his hand over hers, stopping her efforts. “Is it true?” he asks.

“Jay…” He was hoping it was some sort of misunderstanding, but she looks down, unable to meet his eyes. I wouldn’t have written it if it wasn’t. “It isn’t fair Jay.” 

“But is it true?” he pushes, not letting go of her hand.

She pulls away from him, stepping back from the poster, abandoning her efforts for now. “It isn’t good Jay! You shouldn’t have to look at that!”
“This is all I have Nya! You don’t get to choose what I forget. If it’s true, it stays.” Nya glares at him from across the room. “You’re mad at me.” he realises, because if he had caused this, then of course she would be mad at him!

Nya scoffs, mouth slightly open, trying to figure out what to say, trying to figure out what she’s allowed to say.

“It’s fine.” says Jay glumly. “You’re allowed to be mad at me.” he glances towards the poster. “It sounds like I deserve it. So let it out, let me have it! I can take it, and it doesn’t even matter, cause I won’t remember, so there’s no need to hold back. No need to spare my feelings.”

She looks like she’s going to cry, body trembling as she clenches her fists. “Of course I’m mad Jay! I’m furious that you would throw your life away like that! But when you first got sick, you begged me, said I could be as mad as I wanted after, but right now you were scared, and hurt, and you needed me to not be mad. And I waited, and waited, but you’re still sick! So I can't do this yet.”

“I take it back, what I said. You can be mad Nya, it’s fine.”

“No Jay, it’s not! None of this is fine! None of it!” she gestures angrily, tears forming in her eyes. “You don’t deserve this! For one mistake? But you promised me, you lied to me! And I’m never going to get a real apology, because you can’t even remember doing it!”

Jay stands there, unsure of what to say. She was right, him apologising now would be meaningless, so he holds his tongue.

“I… I don’t know what to do.” she admits. “But that isn’t helping.” she gestures to the poster.

Jay reaches over and pulls down the first page. He then walks over to his desk, turns it over and writes: Nya is mad at you. He goes back over and tapes it back on the wall.

Nya shakes her head in disbelief, reading the new sentence: Nya is mad at you, and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT .

“You can take it down when it’s not true.” he says as she storms out.

…

Lloyd and Jay are sitting in his bed playing Uno. It is a special deck where each colour has been replaced by one of their elements. Merch for their fans, which Lloyd has for some reason.

Jay plays a lightning 3, then glances over at his wall.

Nya is mad at you, and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT .

He lets out a sigh, feeling a familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. He wonders how long it had been on his wall.

Lloyd plays a lightning skip, then earth skip, then earth 4. He waits a second then looks up seeing Jay staring at the wall. “Your turn.” he reminds.

Jay turns back to the game, examining his cards. “Did Nya break up with me?” he asks as he plays an earth 6.

Lloyd sighs. “No Jay, she didn't break up with you.” He picks up a card, then plays it immediately, a fire 6.

“She should.” says Jay as he plays a fire draw two.

“Jay, she loves you, she's not going to break up with you just because you got hurt, just because you had one fight. She's your Yang.” he adds an ice draw two.

Jay frowns. “She should. She didn't sign up for this… I can't… I don't want to be a burden.” He adds a lightning draw two to the stack.

“Dammit.” Lloyd starts picking up 6 cards. “You're going to get better Jay. And then you'll be glad she didn't dump your sorry ass.”

Jay plays a lightning 1. “Uno.” he says, realising it isn't worth arguing about.

…

Jay's eyes read the last sentence of a crowded page. He blinks, completely blanking on what he had read. His eyes jump back up to the top, looking for a heading.

How you got sick.

He sighs, looking up, seeing Wu sitting by his bed. “It's too long.” he admits glumly. “By the time I finish reading, I need to start over cause I can't remember any of it!” He lowers the book into his lap.

Wu gives a light chuckle. “Too long he says.”

Jay frowns. “What’s so funny?”

“We made a shorter version first.” explains Wu, “you kept accusing us of leaving things out.” Wu hands him a different notebook, swapping it for the one in his lap. “I'll leave this one here. Maybe in a few days it won't seem so long.”

Jay opens the new book. It has the same headings, but instead of full pages of text there are short dot points. There is a slight familiarity as he skims through them. He had definitely read this one before. “Sorry.” he mutters, “it must be really annoying trying to meet all my ever changing demands…”

“Jay,” starts Wu gently, “I respect that you want to know what happened. You want to understand all the details, but right now you need to embrace not knowing. You need to learn to shrug it off, live in the moment, because this moment is all you have.”

Jay closes the book, thinking it through. “But how am I supposed to remember to do that?!”

“We'll find a way.” says Wu. He goes over to Jay's wall and unfurls a scroll. “I heard you were in need of some better motivational posters.”

Embrace not knowing. Right now is all you have, and right now is pretty good. -Wu

Jay feels like there should be something else on his wall, something, bad… but he can't remember what. He sighs, trying to embrace not knowing.

Chapter Text

Jay is sitting in the dining room with Nya. “You ready to start?” she asks.

Jay just looks at her blankly for a moment before answering. “Um… sure.” he lets out a small sigh. Probably easier to just get on with it than have her explain it again.

“Ok, roll up a sleeve.”

He complies, picking the left as she squirts some moisturiser onto her hands. He notices there is a folded towel on the table, so he lays his now bare forearm upon it. He glares at the burn marks, feeling an unpleasant familiarity. Everything was mostly healed by now, but there were still marks, scars, he might have them forever… He turns away trying to think about something else.

Nya starts massaging his arm, he flinches slightly as she passes over a tender spot. “Sorry, too rough?” she asks gently.

“It’s fine, just surprised me.” says Jay. They sit in silence for a minute while Nya continues her work, Jay doing his best not to flinch again. “Um… does it help?” he asks.

“What?” Nya’s fingers pause for a moment, awaiting his answer.

“The massage, does it help? With, ah, whatever is wrong with my arms…” He knew his arms were often hurting, one of the few things he could remember.

Nya shrugs as she continues her work. “We’re not really sure.” she admits.

“What?” asks Jay with a chuckle, “how could you not know?”

“Well Jay, tell me, is the pain better or worse than yesterday?”

“Ah… I see the problem.”

Nya smiles slightly at the comment. “They do seem to be bothering you less, but that could be because of the medication…”

“Medication?”

“Yeah, the doctor has you on a low dose anti-depressant which apparently can help with nerve pain.” Jay sighs, Right. Nerve pain… I have nerve damage… he reminds himself. Trying to get it to sink in. He frowns slightly at the thought he was on antidepressants… but it sounds like they weren’t being used for that. Nya looks up at him with pity. “I’m also not sure if it’s just because you can now remember that they are hurt, so you don’t ask us about it as much.”

Jay looks down at the floor before muttering, “Sorry.”

“Jay, why are you apologising?”

Because I’m a burden… Because you are stuck here massaging my stupid arms… because I can’t even remember how to take care of myself… because I don’t deserve your help…

Yeah, Nya wouldn’t react well to any of those. Jay sighs. “I forget.” he lies with a forced smile on his face.

Nya looks up to examine his face with a concerned frown, but she doesn’t push the point. “Ok, let’s do the other one too.”

…

“What are we doing outside?” Jay asks Kai, who is setting up a training dummy.

“You've been begging Cole to do some training for hours.” explains Kai.

Jay looks down at his arms, they were hurting again. “You think I'm up to it?”

“Oh come on Jay! Don't chicken out now and make me go back inside and tell Cole he was right.”

Jay looks at Kai with confusion. Kai sighs. “We're not going to do a full workout, but you and I are both energy elements, you've barely used your powers in weeks, what if that build up is making your arms worse?”

“What if using them makes my arms feel worse?” asks Jay, suddenly unsure.

“Well, there is one way to find out. Zap the dummy.” Kai steps back from the dummy, gesturing for Jay to proceed.

Jay tentatively takes a fighting stance, but then catches on something Kai said. “Wait… weeks?” He turns to Kai.

Kai sighs. “Yeah, it's been just over two weeks since you woke up.”

Jay frowns, not liking the answer. But it doesn't matter, it didn't change anything. 

He goes back into his fighting stance. He plans to just lightly zap the dummy to see how it feels. He takes a deep breath before channeling the familiar jittery energy, pulling it out of himself and pushing it through his hands.

It hurts, the tingling getting worse, but he grits his teeth and bears it. Along with the pain there was something else, a relief? At not being bottled up anymore?

That's enough, I should stop… but his element didn't seem to want to, pouring out with above average intensity. “Jay?” says Kai nervously from the sidelines, likely seeing the pain in his face. Jay can't answer, clenching his teeth, full concentration on battling the ferocity of his own lightning.

I need to stop! With great effort Jay manages to block the flow through his arms, but this just causes the lightning to find a different path, jumping down through his legs, flowing into the ground. Jay lets out a pained gasp as the lightning finally stops and he feels his knees buckle.

“Jay!” Kai is suddenly by his side, catching him before he hits the ground. “Jay? You alright?”

Jay is overcome with exhaustion as he leans on Kai, arms and legs trembling with pain. “I don't think it helped…” he stammers.

“Shit. Ok… I guess lightning is more different to fire than I thought. Let's get you back inside.”

Jay clutches at Kai, allowing himself to be lifted back to his trembling feet. “You were right… it built up. But I- I couldn't control it. It just…” he grunts in pain as he tries to take a step while still leaning on Kai.

“Yeah… control. It took me a while to get that back too.” Jay pauses his attempts at walking, looking at Kai with a frown. “What, you thought you were the only one who caught elemental fever?”

Jay blinks a couple times. “Well… yeah? I'm the only one who's a complete wreck… Wait, you were sick too?”

“We all were. You were just the lucky last. Have had less time to recover than the rest of us. Myself and Nya were the worst, well apart from you…” Jay continues to frown as he starts walking again. “So like I said, elemental fever takes away control of your element, so you might need a bit of practice to get that back.”

There is a moment of silence before Jay speaks. “Is that why we're outside? To practice? My legs feel pretty bad Kai… maybe we should practice later.”

Kai sighs. “Yeah, good idea. Let's get you back inside.”

…

“Stop it! Stop looking at me like that!” Jay is yelling at Cole. Kai stands in the doorway watching with his arms crossed. Probably came to see what the ruckus was about.

“Like what?”

“Like I'm stupid! Like I can't handle the truth, like you're hiding things from me! You're treating me like a pet!”

“We're not hiding things from you! We've told you the truth over and over! I've watched it destroy you again and again! Trust us, it's better for you right now if we don't tell you everything!”

“Why do you get to decide? Where's my say in this? I bet you all go through my phone, delete my notes, my photos…”

“Jay I would never!”

“Then tell me, what did I do Cole?? Why was this in the bin?” He holds up the crumpled bit of paper which reads: it's ALL YOUR FAULT.

Cole sighs, pinching his nose. “You took it down Jay, not us.”

“But it's true?”

“It's not that simple.”

“Give him his book back,” says Kai with a sigh, “sad Jay was better than this.”

My book?? “So you are hiding things from me?”

Cole looks wounded as he retrieves a notebook from up high in Jay's cupboards. “I, I just thought you could use a break. You've been obsessed with this for days.”

Jay angrily swipes the book out of Cole’s hands.

…

Jay opens the top tool drawer revealing the mess of a sorting system that himself, Nya, and Pixal had been arguing about for years. He blinks examining the clutter, trying to remember what he came over for.

“You were getting a screwdriver.”

Jay looks up and sees Lloyd sitting at the workbench. “You know there are like a dozen different types of screwdrivers right?”

“Really? Well, you're helping me fix my Gameboy if that helps?” Lloyd holds up the device.

Jay looks at it briefly before turning back to the drawer, grabbing the set of small security bits, another couple small flat and Philips screwdrivers, some long nosed pliers and a multimeter. “Ok, let's see what we're working with…” he mutters as he dumps the tools on the bench and takes the Gameboy off Lloyd. “What's wrong with it?”

“It won't turn on.” says Lloyd.

Jay flicks the on switch, confirming Lloyd's diagnosis. “And I assume you already checked the batteries?”

“Yes Jay, I'm not that stupid.” says Lloyd with a roll of his eyes.

Jay turns it over and starts taking out the screws. “How'd you break it anyway?” he sees Lloyd hesitate, a flash of guilt, he must have been doing something pretty stupid to not want to talk about it. “Knowing how you broke it might help me fix it. What, did you drop it in the bath or something?” teases Jay.

“No, nothing like that…” says Lloyd.

Jay gets out the last screw, now somewhat curious about what he would find. He lifts off the cover and sees black burn marks on a few components near the buttons. He squints, looking more closely, it looked like it was caused by electrical overload, but the batteries wouldn't be nearly enough for this… “Oh…” says Jay with slight sadness. “I broke it, didn't I?”

Lloyd sighs. “Yeah. But it was an accident, and you're gonna help me fix it, so it's fine. Talk me through what you're doing, so I can help remind you.”

Jay looks at the charring a bit longer, feeling guilt coil in his stomach. But Lloyd was right, he just needed to get on with it and make it right. “Ok. See here?” he points to the charred area as Lloyd leans over. “These capacitors are blown, we'll start by replacing them and hopefully that's enough. Otherwise we'll need to troubleshoot the rest of the board to see if anything else was damaged.” Lloyd nods as Jay goes to fetch a small drawer full of electronics components. He tips it onto the bench and starts poking through them. “I just hope we have the right spares… for the capacitors we might be able to use a slightly different one if the rating is similar enough, if any of the chips are damaged, the replacement needs to be exact.”

“Ok, and if you can't fix it, that's fine, it's not important.”

“If it's not important, why do you have me fixing it?”

A smile creeps onto Lloyd's face. “I wanted to show you that you can still fix stuff. That you're still smart.”

Jay picks out a fresh capacitor, holding it up against the charred one. “One problem greenie, I won't remember fixing it.”

“Yeah you will.” says Lloyd, pulling out his phone and snapping a photo of Jay holding the capacitor. “If you forget, I'll remind you that you're still smart, and show you this photo.”

“And if I don't fix it, you going to say I did?”

Lloyd scratches his chin. “You're right, we need another photo when you're done with it on.”

Jay rolls his eyes. “Guess I better hurry up and fix it.”

A sense of unease rests in his gut. What if I can't fix it? I can't learn anything new. This is as smart as I'm going to get.

…

Zane is sitting with him having breakfast. “Do you know what day it is?”

“Tuesday.”

Zane sighs, tapping at the tablet. “You always say Tuesday.”

“Yeah, cause eventually it will be right.” he smirks, seeing the frustration on Zane's face. “It's Tuesday, isn't it?”

“Yes.” admits Zane.

Jay pumps his fist in the air. “Nailed it.” Zane rolls his eyes. “Hey, doesn't Pixal normally do this?”

Zane looks up at him with intrigue. “Yes, that is correct. I have been unwell, so only recently started assisting with this task.”

“Oh, ok. I get bonus points for remembering that right?”

Zane nods. “Indeed, it is a good sign. You are starting to remember some details about routine things that happen more than once, but still struggle to recall any specifics.”

…

Most of the team is out in the courtyard, Wu is leading them in some stretches. Jay glances up at the sky, trying to figure out if it is morning. Are these sunrise exercises? Or sunset?

“Ugh, how much longer, it feels like we’ve been doing this forever!” Jay whines, only half serious. He honestly couldn’t remember how long they had been at it.

Kai tries poorly to suppress a chuckle. Was it the first time I said that?

“Are your limbs hurting?” asks Zane, turning towards Jay without breaking his pose.

“Nah, they’re fine.” says Jay as he shifts into the next pose. He knew his arms were often hurting these days, but was struggling to remember what it felt like when they did.

“Focus…” says Wu, shooting them all a look.

A mischievous thought pops into Jay’s head, and he can’t help but grin. He waits one more pose before saying. “What time is it? It feels like we’ve been doing this all day!” 

Sure enough Kai starts laughing.

“Kai, it’s not funny…” mutters Cole.

“Beg to disagree- Ow!” Kai stops laughing as he is gently bonked on the head with Wu’s staff.

“Focus!”

Jay can’t help but grin, Wu having left him alone. Zane shoots him a look, one eyebrow raised, and Jay quickly pushes his face back to neutrality. He waits two more poses before his next attempt. “When is this going to end, it feels like we’ve been doing this forever!” he really layers on the emphasis into the last word.

Kai breaks his pose completely, bursting into laughter again.

“Kai, seriously?” says Cole with frustration, also breaking his pose. “He can’t help it!”

“Dude, he’s doing it on purpose!” wheezes Kai.

Cole looks towards Jay with an eyebrow raised. “No… he wouldn’t?”

“I believe Kai is correct.” states Zane. “Jay can usually remember longer than this. Jay, I trust you are familiar with the tale of the boy who cried wolf?”

Jay rolls his eyes. “Pfft, of course I know the story, I just fail to see how it applies in this situ- Ow!” It is finally his turn to get bonked in the head with Wu’s staff. “Hey now, easy on the head, in case you forgot, I have brain damage!” The bonk had been incredibly gentle, but it was fun to complain.

“No, I didn’t forget, but you will.” says Wu with a sly smile.

“Touche…” says Jay with a chuckle, who obediently goes back into his pose.

Cole sighs and follows suit, Kai barely holding it together, trembling with suppressed laughter.

Gosh, I really hope I forget and say it again by accident, Kai would explode…

…

Most of the ninja are sitting around the lounge room. Some on sofas, some on the floor. Cole managed to find a bean bag. Everyone is tired, some scrolling on their phones, others half watching whatever is on the TV.

“Shit… how is it this late already?” asks Kai. “Anyone feel like cooking dinner?”

“If you're so hungry Kai, then you should volunteer.” says Lloyd.

Kai lets out a groan. “Nope. No way. Am I hot? Maybe I'm getting sick again?” He pulls Lloyd's hand over to feel his forehead.

Lloyd yanks it back. “Kai… you're the master of fire. You're always hot.”

“Why thank you!” says Kai as he runs a hand through his hair.

Lloyd rolls his eyes. “That's not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Nup, no backsies, Lloyd thinks I'm hot.”

Nya snorts. “So, takeout again? Jay, what do you want?”

“What? Why does Jay get to choose?” grumbles Cole.

“Cause he won't take half an hour to do so.” says Nya with a slight smirk.

“Actually, it's Cole's turn.” says Jay with a frown. Slightly unsure of himself. “He should choose.”

Everyone in the room turns to look at Jay. “What do you mean?” asks Lloyd.

Jay wrings his hands, focusing hard. “The other day…” he starts, which was his way of saying recently, but I don't actually remember how long ago… “we ordered pizza, and Cole was complaining about it, so Zane said next time he could choose.”

There is a moment of stunned silence before Cole says “oh yeah! It's totally my turn. We're not having pizza again. Thanks Jay.”

“I don't understand how anyone can not like pizza.” says Lloyd as everyone goes back to what they were doing, no longer staring at Jay.

“It's not that I don't like pizza, there are just so many better options.” says Cole.

“We're not ordering cake for dinner.” teases Kai.

“Wait, I was right?” asks Jay, heart hammering in his chest.

Nya reaches out a hand to his cheek. “Yup, you were right.” she gives him a gentle smile, before going back to flicking through food aps on her phone. “So… noodles? Burrito? What are you feeling Cole?”

Jay glances around to each of his friends in turn, something wasn't right. “I remembered something… I'm getting better! Why isn't anyone else freaking out?”

A few faces turn back to him. “Jay,” says Lloyd gently, “this isn't the first thing you've remembered.”

“It isn't?” asks Jay.

Kai half suppresses a chuckle. “Nope, although the fact you can't remember that is down right hilarious!”

“Kai!” whines Nya, throwing a cushion at him. “Be nice!” she then turns to Jay. “It's not going to happen all at once.” she assures him, “but we've seen a change these past couple days. You're getting better.”

Jay nods, feeling hopeful for the first time in a while. I remembered something… I'm gonna be ok.

Chapter Text

Nya was right. It doesn't happen all at once, but slowly Jay feels like he is waking up from some weird dream. He gets more of his morning questions with Zane or Pixal correct. He manages to finish tasks without having to constantly check with someone where he was up to. He still compulsively checks his phone to see what he should be doing next, but more often than not it is to confirm that he is right, not because he can't remember.

It's not perfect, he knows he is still much more forgetful than he was before, he often finds himself standing in a room straining to remember why he came in, but he can learn, he can grow, he can move forward with his life, instead of being stuck in a loop. He can finally see the progress he’s making, and knows he is still improving.

~~

Jay is sitting on his bed, flicking through his phone when Nya walks in through the open door.

“Oh, there you are. Watcha doing?” she plops down on the bed beside him, leaning onto his shoulder so she can see his screen.

“Just, um, going through some photos.” Jay says glumly. He swipes the screen and the photo changes. The current photo is of his arm, when the injuries were much more fresh.

“Oh…” says Nya, pulling back slightly, “sorry, should I not be looking?”

“Nah. It's fine.” says Jay. “I'm sure you've seen all this already.” 

He swipes through two more photos of his arms then lowers his phone, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall.

“Hey, you ok? You could just delete them if they're upsetting.” 

Jay laughs. “I already did Nya, this is my recycling bin.”

“Oh… but then why are you looking at it?”

“Because I don't remember taking the photos, and I don't remember deleting them, and I'm trying to figure out what I was thinking, or, was someone else deleting them?”

Nya lets out a sigh. “I didn't delete any Jay, I don't think the others did either. We might have suggested to you occasionally, like I just did, but generally you didn't like us looking at your phone much… You let Pixal or Zane help to set up your tasks in the morning, but that was about it.” Jay lifts his head, turning to look at her. It made sense that if he was worried about people deleting his photos now, then he would have been worried about it before too. Nya continues. “You occasionally accused us of hiding things from you, and, well, you were right. It was just too much information for you to remember, we had to carefully choose how much would be useful to share.”

“Sorry.”

“There is nothing to apologise for.” says Nya, resting a hand on his thigh. She was wrong, but he lets it slide for now.

He picks his phone back up and starts swiping backwards. “There are just so many of them. It's like multiple times a day I decided ‘I need to document why this is hurting’ then an hour later would decide I didn't want to look at it.”

“Yeah…” says Nya glumly. “Your arms stressed you out a lot. Particularly in the early days. It makes sense you would do that.”

Jay keeps swiping until he gets to the one he had seen earlier. A picture of his wall with a poster that read: Nya is mad at you, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT. “And then there's this one…” he shows her the photo nervously.

Nya scowls, letting out a small sigh. “You know I didn't write that, right?” she asks gently.

“Yeah… I figured as much.” Jay admits. “But why was it on my wall? Did we- did we break up?” he was so scared to ask the question, to find out the answer, but he needed to know.

He feels Nya tense slightly beside him. “Not this again…” she mutters near inaudibly.

“Like, it's fine if we did… I wouldn't blame you… I just can't shake the feeling we did, and I can't remember, and you're just waiting for the right time to tell me-”

Nya cuts him off. “Jay, can you please stop trying to break up with me!”

“What?”

“We didn't break up Jay, cause I wouldn't fucking let you.” Jay blinks a couple times, this wasn't what he was expecting to hear. 

“I tried to break up with you?”

Nya lets out a huff. “I think your record was 6 times in one day? 4 of those telling me I should break up with you, and 2 more when you took matters into your own hands. I'm sure it would have been more except I straight up avoided you for the rest of the day.” Nya crosses her arms grumpily.

“But…” he glances back at the photo, “then why would I write that?”

Nya uncrosses her arms, gesturing as she speaks, “We had a fight, I was mad at you, mad that you were sick, just mad! But I never stopped loving you.” she turns and plants a kiss on his cheek.

He should feel relieved, happy, overjoyed that Nya still wanted to be with him, but something felt wrong, an angry knot in his stomach as he looks at the photo.

He never understood why she wanted to be with him on the best of days, and now? While his memory was fucked, when he had obviously hurt her, why on earth would she have continued to fight for their relationship? He just didn't get it.

“Why were you mad at me?” he asks. He realises too late it is a terrible fucking response to ‘I love you’. FSM I really don't deserve her…

Nya sighs. “It's not important Jay, I'm over it. That was weeks ago, I'm not mad anymore.”

“But you were, and I caused it, so I need to know… because I don't want to hurt you again.”

Nya lets out a deep sigh. “Ok, fine… You lied to me. You said you would wait in the junkyard until it was safe to come back, you promised me.”

Jay drops his shoulders slightly. This at least he understood. The book explained how he got sick, he had come to visit Nya in the middle of the night, but it wasn't particularly clear on why he had done so, just said that he was worried about her. “I want to say I'm sorry, I want to say I won't ever do something that stupid again, but I'm not sure exactly why I did it in the first place…” he moves his hand to overlap with hers, and she squeezes it eagerly.

“After our fight I spoke to Wu, or rather he came and spoke to me… Before you started to forget, you told him why you came back.” Jay raises an eyebrow, curious to know what he had said. “Jay… you were having an anxiety attack.” Jay flinches at hearing the oh so obvious answer. “You were all alone, because I left you there, because I came back. You didn't have anyone to help you through it because your parents were off helping Cole. You thought I was dying… Kai said when he found you, you were a mess. You looked like you hadn't slept in 2 days, haunted, shakey… It wasn't your fault ok? I'm sorry it took me so long to realise that.”

Jay takes a moment to process her words. “Nya… just cause I was anxious, I still had a choice, it's still my fault.”

Nya shakes her head. “You could say that about anyone. It's Cole's fault for not telling Lloyd he was sick, if he went back to the monastery earlier, then your parents wouldn't have needed to help Lou.”

“That's ridiculous-”

Nya cuts him off, “or my fault, if I had trusted Pixal and Wu and Misako to look after Kai without me… I'm sure my powers helped, but they probably could have managed it with a regular bath.”

Jay shakes his head. “Of course you needed to help Kai, you had to go back.”

“Or Wu's fault for not telling you your mum died of this disease, if you knew that, the danger may have felt more real to you.”

Jay pauses, turning to look at her. “Wait… What?”

“Oh, shoot… that wasn't in the book huh…” she turns to look at Jay, examining his reaction.

Jay's frown deepens as he leans back against the wall. “That's why he sent me away… I knew she was dead, but, I hadn't worked up the courage to ask about what happened.”

“I don't know all the details,” explains Nya, “only that she caught elemental fever and died two days later, and Wu was there when it happened. He didn't say a word about it to anyone until after you were already sick.”

“I should probably talk to Wu, huh?” Jay lets his eyes drift to the door. 

“Yeah…” agrees Nya, “when you're ready.”

“Still, that doesn't make it his fault.”

Nya nods, “My point is, if you’re willing to forgive us, then you need to let us forgive you too, ok?”

She leans onto Jay's shoulder and feels him wrap an arm around her.

“I'll try.” he lets out a small sigh of relief. “And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for breaking my promise.”

“I know. But thank you, I think I needed to hear that.”

Chapter Text

Jay is training in the courtyard. While his mind was getting better, his body still needed some work. He was sick of feeling weak and useless, so he wanted to get back in shape. 

He had been practicing with his lightning, it hadn't felt quite right since he got sick, but was starting to feel closer to how it had before. Like he was regaining his control of it. Learning all over again how to tame this finicky beast.

He finishes the set, and his arms are tingling. Pins and needles, jumping up and down. He sighs, starting to massage one of them, it was unfortunately a feeling he was becoming quite familiar with. He still wasn't sure if using his powers actually made it worse, or if it was just negative mental association, as they had caused the injury to begin with.

Thankfully his legs rarely got tingly anymore, they were less severely affected than his arms. He didn't have to worry about tripping over things like he apparently did to begin with.

He turns towards the sidelines to get a drink and sees Kai sitting there watching him. He immediately stops rubbing his arm, face flushing slightly. “Oh, hey… how long have you been there?” asks Jay as he comes and sits beside Kai, reaching for his drink.

“Not too long.” says Kai, “sorry, do you not want me watching?”

“Nah… it's fine.” says Jay, but knows it sounds unconvincing. “I just like to know when I'm being watched.”

“Ah, fair enough.” Kai looks up at the sky. “The first time you tried to train, well, it didn't go very well. I just wanted to make sure you were ok, I didn't realise you were training on your own now.”

Jay finishes drinking and puts the cap back on, setting it to the side. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “I don't need a babysitter anymore.” 

“I know.” says Kai. “The set looked good, you're doing so much better.” he turns towards Jay giving a warm half grin.

“Thanks.” says Jay curtly. As excited as he was for his progress, particularly with his memory, it felt a little condescending when everyone kept pointing it out. If that set was impressive, oh boy he must have been a mess before.

“So… how's the arms?” 

Jay flinches, so Kai had seen him rubbing them. He pulls them a little closer reflexively. “Um, fine.”

“FSM you're a terrible liar… come on, roll up a sleeve, let's take a look.”

Jay hesitates, he considers holding his ground, but Kai was just trying to help and would probably dob on him to Nya for being difficult later. They had all needed to put up with difficult forgetful Jay for way too long already… He lets out a sigh as he rolls up his right sleeve, holding out his arm for Kai's inspection. “It's just a little tingly. It's honestly not too bad.”

Kai starts massaging his forearm and Jay flinches as his knuckles pass through a tender knot. “You're so tight, have you been keeping up with the massage?”

“Um, when I remember?” says Jay with a half grin.

“So no?” asks Kai, matching his grin.

“Hey! Rude.”

Kai laughs, continuing to work his fingers over Jay's arm, and they were warm, FSM that warmth felt good, relaxing his muscles, taking away some of the tension. The tingling was reduced too, replaced by warm pressure.

“How's that? Not too hard?”

“No, no, it's good.” Jay replies too quickly. “Please tell me you have time for the other one too…”

“So it's helping?”

“Yeah.”

“I'm always happy to do this, if you want my help.”

Jay doesn't know what to say to that. Surely Kai would get frustrated if he went to him every day to take advantage of his warm hands when he could do massage adequately on his own. Calling him a liar would be rude, agreeing and following through would put Kai in a bad spot if the offer wasn't genuine, agreeing and not following through would turn himself into a liar.

Jay spends too long thinking about how to respond, so misses his opportunity. Kai letting out a small disappointed sigh. “Come on, time for the other one.” Kai moves to sit on Jay's other side as Jay rolls up his other sleeve.

“Does training make it worse?” asks Kai.

“Um, a little. It comes and goes, even when I'm not training, but training is a reliable trigger.” Kai nods, and continues his work. “Um, when you started training again, did it hurt?” Jay regrets the question almost immediately, why would Kai want to talk about that?

Kai's fingers freeze for a moment as he considers his answer, then they start moving again. “It was like using my fire for the first time all over again.” Kai lets out a sigh. “I had no control, I couldn't regulate the heat properly, so my hands would overheat way too quickly. But if I didn't train, then all that power just built up. It took about a week for it to start feeling normal again.”

Jay nods. Not sure what to do with the answer. It had been a lot longer than a week since he had had elemental fever.

Jay's eyes jump up to Kai's hair, giving a small frown.

“What? Is there something on my face?” asks Kai.

“I'm just surprised you haven't cut it out yet.”

“What?”

“Your hair is burnt.”

“Oh yeah, right.” Kai chuckles, “I burnt it when I was relearning how to control my fire.”

“But that was weeks ago…”

Kai shrugs. “Yeah, I suppose I could get it cut now.”

Jay continues to frown. Kai was usually so particular about his hair, so why hadn't he fixed it already? “What do you mean by that?”

Kai reaches up to touch his hair, finishing up his work on Jay's arm. “You found it incredibly entertaining that I managed to burn my hair, so I decided to leave it for a while. Give you something to ‘discover’ and make you smile.”

Jay feels his cheeks flush. “Oh… sorry.” he rolls his sleeves back down.

“Don't be sorry, you're not the one who burnt it!” Kai pauses scratching at the back of his head. “Actually… at first it wasn't so noticeable, but the way you reacted to it… I actually burnt it more.”

“What? On purpose?”

“Yeah,” Kai smiles softly, “It didn't go particularly well… I really need to find some less flammable hair gel.”

Jay can't help but laugh at the mental image. “Sorry… sorry. I don't know why you burning your hair is so funny!”

Kai pats him on the back. “I'm glad it is. You needed something to laugh about.”

“Dude, you love your hair… That might be the nicest thing you've ever done for me.”

There is a slight pause before Kai says, “well, I did do CPR on you.”

Jay stops laughing. “Wh-what?” He looks up at Kai, who's suddenly gone tense. “That wasn't in the book.”

Kai sighs. “I didn't want to tell you via a book Jay, I didn't want you reading that over and over.”

“What, that I died?”

“You didn't die Jay, you just, were in cardiac arrest for a few minutes.”

Jay tries to reconstruct the scene in his head. Lying in his bed not breathing. Kai leaning over him pushing on his chest hard enough to flatten him out, over and over… he feels sick.

“How many rounds?”

“It wasn't too long, about four rounds I think… Cole was there, he got the defib on you. The second shock brought you back.”

Jay wraps his arms around his chest, squeezing himself. He wants to go and strip off his shirt, stare in the mirror and look for any signs of bruising, or marks from where the pads were attached, but he knows it would be well healed by now. “Um, breaths too?” he asks nervously.

“Yeah.” says Kai. 

The fact that it was Kai giving him breaths wasn't the thing that bothered him. Jay understands the importance of first aid, the fact there is nothing remotely sexy about rescue breaths. He would do it for anyone on the team if they needed it.

The thought that anyone needed to breathe for him, that his body was still and lifeless, if only for a few minutes… that was what was bothering him. And the fact that he didn't know, didn't even realise! felt like some sort of violation.

“Jay? You ok?” Kai was patting his back.

“Yeah… sorry… no… I died?” he was stuck on that.

“No. Cause I didn't fucking let you!” says Kai. “I promised Nya, so you weren't dying on my watch. The shocks actually stopped after that. Dunno if we tricked it into thinking it had won?” Kai shrugs.

“You shouldn't promise Nya something you can't guarantee…” says Jay glumly, glad one of them at least had been able to keep their promise.

“Yeah, I was freaking out a bit about that when I was doing the CPR…”

“You were freaking out about Nya? Not the fact that I was… you know-”

Kai cuts him off. “Both Jay! I was freaking out about both! And also that my timing might not be good enough, and what if I wasn't pushing hard enough, or pushed too hard and broke all your ribs, or what if I didn't get a good seal and none of the air went in, or what if me stuffing it up was why your memory was all…” Kai pauses, taking a shaky breath and running a hand up over his face. “I just… never want to see you like that again. Ok?”

Jay looks over at Kai, forcing his arms away from his chest, he wasn’t the only one freaked out about this. They had all been comforting him for so long, the least he could do was try to return the favour. Jay leans over and wraps an arm around Kai. “You did great Kai. Thank you.” He gently lays his head on Kai’s shoulder, wondering if it was too much? Kai usually kept his distance a bit more than the others. “I’m ok, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Kai eagerly wraps his big warm arms around Jay, pulling him in closer. “Damn straight you’re not going anywhere. We only just got you back.”

Jay closes his eyes, soaking in Kai’s heat. The massage had felt great, but this was something else entirely. His whole body relaxes slightly, covered in a blanket of warm safety.

“Jay?” Kai sighs, “seriously, you better not be falling asleep.”

Chapter Text

Jay is having breakfast when Pixal walks in with her tablet.

“Good morning Jay.” she says warmly.

“Good morning Pixal.” says Jay cheerfully with a mouth half full of toast. He swallows quickly so he can talk more clearly. “It's Thursday, yesterday we had a chicken pasta bake for dinner, this afternoon I have an appointment with the doctor, and yesterday's words were dragon, balloon, and pineapple.” He takes another bite of his toast, feeling smug.

“Impressive.” says Pixal, tapping away. “You don't have all that written on your arm now, do you?” her tone is not serious, and Jay rolls his eyes. She sits down beside him at the table. “I see no reason for us to continue these assessments.”

Jay swallows, almost choking at the surprise. “Really?”

She nods. “It took a bit longer than expected, but your short term memory is back within normal parameters.”

Jay lets out a sigh. “So that's it? I'm officially cured?”

“We might need to wait for the doctor's formal opinion.” Jay scoffs. “He may even want to write a paper on you, extended short term memory loss from electric shock is not particularly common.”

Jay groans, “Who would want to read about my crappy memory?”

“Doctors.”

“Do they not know about comics?”

Pixal lets out a small chuckle. “It is good to see you acting more like yourself.”

Jay blinks, turning down to his toast, small frown growing on his face. “Was I not before?”

She sighs, hands still clutching the tablet. “Sorry. I may not have phrased that well. It was still you Jay, just, fragmented. And, often you were stuck dealing with emotions, without the time needed to work through them properly.” She looks up at him. “I like this version of you better.”

“Me too Pix.” says Jay, he means it in a positive way, but it still comes out glum.

“I know you were concerned about us hiding things from you-”

“It's fine Pix, I get it, my mind couldn't handle everything.” Jay interrupts, trying to prevent an unneeded apology.

“What I meant was, I recorded a lot of data throughout your recovery.” she gestures to the tablet. “It wasn't just the daily assessment. I also kept a log of overall mood, any notable activities, or interactions, such as conflicts. At least those that I was aware of.”

“Conflicts?”

“You had a habit of bickering with Cole.” Jay sighs, while it was common for himself and Cole to get into light hearted arguments, Cole had been acting a bit distant with him… maybe something more had happened? “I also recorded some videos, mostly to show the doctors, but, if you wanted to watch them, or read through any of the data… I don't know what good it would do, but I thought you deserved to know it existed.”

She hands the tablet over to Jay, and he takes it with mild apprehension. Of course Pixal would keep good records, she had always been organised. Her original purpose had been to be Borg’s assistant. He flicks through and sees that not only does she have the raw data, but a lot of it has been plotted into graphs or other visual representations. He chuckles seeing the day of the week graph, with a massive spike on Tuesday. “I really like Tuesday, huh?”

Pixal leans over and points to a small blip above Saturday. “This was just over a week after you woke up. You said it was Saturday, and when pushed on why you thought it was Saturday, you simply said it ‘felt like a Saturday’.”

“Was it Saturday?”

Pixal smiles. “No. It was Sunday, which to be fair has similar vibes. If it was Saturday, I would have accused you of cheating, checking your phone before I came in, but no. It really threw me, as you were otherwise obnoxiously consistent on that particular question.”

Jay smiles, glad he could still have been subconsciously playing tricks on them, even without his memory. 

He keeps scrolling down through the pages until he gets to the section with video files. His finger hovers over the first one, but he pulls back, unsure.

“I can go.” says Pixal, starting to rise from her seat.

“No.” snaps Jay, then realises how harsh it sounded, “um, could you stay?” he asks more gently, looking up at her.

“Of course.” Pixal sits back down again.

Jay lets out a sigh before tapping on the video. He couldn't stall forever if he made Pixal stay. 

The footage is from Pixal’s perspective, recorded with her own eyes. Jay chews his lip wondering why he never realised she could do that. “Jay, Wu has asked me to give you a full physical work up.”

The camera angle shifts, and FSM he looks awful… dark rings under his eyes, he has managed to make sitting up look exhausting. “Why?” asks the Jay on the tape, sounding so unsure, so hollow, rubbing at his arm before coughing loudly. 

“Because you got hurt,” says Pixal, “and you're sick.”

Jay blinks at her with a frown. He seemed so out of it, not fully understanding. “My arms hurt… what happened? Why do they hurt?” Jay is reminded about how much he hates hearing his own voice on tape. It sounds wrong. Which to be fair was a good match for everything else. He looks wrong, it was incredibly disconcerting seeing him do and say stuff that he had absolutely no recollection of.

“Ok, let's start with your arms.” Pixal reaches out and rolls up one of his sleeves. 

There is a gasp of surprise as the wounds are revealed. “Wh-what is that?!”

Jay hits pause, scowling at the tablet, gritting his teeth. He could see where this was going and really didn't want to watch himself having a panic attack over a couple of burns. He’d seen them already in his photos…

“Jay, are you ok?” asks the real Pixal beside him.

“Yeah, I'm fine… just maybe a different video. I think I got the gist of that one…” he stubbornly exits the video and picks another one at random, taking a deep breath.

“What's with the 20 questions? Can't a guy eat his breakfast in peace?” Jay still doesn’t like the sound of his own voice, but at least he seemed less scared this time.

“Jay, you have short term memory loss. We do this everyday to see if there is any improvement.” Pixal sounds calm, but also sounds a bit like she is speaking to a child.

Jay watches his cheeks flush. “I knew that.” And of course I have to sound like a bratty child when responding…

“You didn't. It would help with data accuracy if you didn't lie to me.” Pixal sighs. “I think I have enough data for today. We can try again tomorrow. You can now enjoy your breakfast in peace.”

The video ends, Jay blinks, not expecting it. That one was much shorter than the first. The final frame stays frozen and he spends a moment examining the fear and confusion on his own face as he scowls at the toast in his hand. He doesn't like it. 

“Jay?” asks Pixal worry lacing her voice. And why did I ask her to stay again? “I'm fine.” he lies, before exiting the video and moving onto another, picking one a bit further down, one where maybe he could remember something about what had happened to him.

He's lying on the ground in the courtyard as Pixal runs over to him. “Jay! Are you ok? Did you fall?”

“Fuck!” snaps Jay, already trying to push himself up on trembling arms. “I can’t even fucking walk right!” sparks form on his fist as he slams it into the nearby courtyard wall. Jay hears the crunch as render covering the bricks crumbles, leaving a charred crater in its wake.

Pixal had almost reached him by this point, but the perspective shifts as she takes a step back. Oh shit… she was scared of me…

“Jay, are you ok?” she asks, hovering out of reach.

“No I’m not ok! I can’t remember anything, I can’t walk, I can’t…” his voice starts to crack, by this point he was kneeling, staring at his hands, blood dripping onto the pavement below.

Pixal is the one who reaches out to pause the video this time.

“Huh, what?” croaks Jay, but he doesn’t make any moves to unpause it.

“Jay… you’re crying.” says Pixal gently.

A lone tear falls onto the screen. Jay lifts a sleeve up to rub his face. He shouldn’t be crying over this. “I’m sorry.” he mumbles.

“What for?” asks Pixal, as she moves the tablet away slightly.

“I don’t understand… I know what happened to me, I know I spent weeks hurt without a functioning memory, I know I must have been confused, and frustrated, and scared… so why is watching it so upsetting?” His voice is trembling, and he hates it. Makes him feel like he was still the scared freaked out version of himself that he had just watched. I’m meant to be doing better!

Pixal reaches out to hold his hand. “There is a difference between knowing, and feeling. You know you were hurt, but you haven’t felt it yet. You can’t remember feeling it. It’s ok Jay, it’s ok to be upset by this. I would be more concerned if you weren’t.”

“But then, why show it to me?”

“Because it shouldn’t be up to us to choose what you forget.”

Jay squeezes her hand. The phrase sounds familiar, but he doesn’t know why. He hates this, FSM he hates this so much… Every time he thinks he finally has the full picture, thinks he has put together all the missing pieces, there is something else that ambushes him from the sidelines, kicking the floor right out from underneath him. The Jay on the tapes, it didn’t feel like him, it didn’t feel like something that happened to him. 

“Jay. Look at me.” Jay reluctantly lifts his eyes up to Pixal’s face. “These are the worst moments. I didn’t record you sitting happily watching TV, or every time you were playing cards with Lloyd… These were for the doctors, to show what you were struggling with. This isn’t the whole story.” Jay’s eyes wander back down to the tablet as he lets out a sigh. “It's over. And you don't need to watch it.”

“I do.” he mutters.

“Why?”

“Because it's my fault Pix… I deserve it.”

She frowns at him for a moment. “That assessment is neither logical, nor correct.”

“What?”

Pixal sighs, thinking how to explain it. “You made a mistake Jay, because you were experiencing emotional distress. The repercussions are significantly disproportionate to the transgression.” He blinks at her, brow furrowed as he tries to interpret her words. “You don’t deserve what happened to you Jay.”

He sighs, still not believing it. But it was hard to argue with the logic of a nindroid. “Nya said the same thing…”

“And you trust Nya right?”

“Well, yeah…”

“So why don’t you believe her?” Jay looks up at Pixal once more. He hadn’t thought about it like that before. “Is it easier for you to understand that something bad happened to you because you did something wrong, than accept that this horrible thing happened to you for no reason at all?”

Shit. Was that why? “I dunno Pix… I just… I guess I still have a lot to think about.”

She reaches out a hand to his shoulder. “Take your time with it. Something like this, it’s going to take a while to feel it.”

“Why are you so smart?” asks Jay while rubbing a sleeve over his face again.

“Borg made me.” says Pixal smugly. She rises, taking the tablet with her. “I won’t delete anything, I promise. But I think you need a break right now. Feel free to come see me if you want to try again later.”

Jay nods. “Thanks Pix, for staying, for everything.” He lets out a deep sigh.

She gives his shoulder a comforting squeeze. “You’re going to be ok Jay, remember that.”

Chapter Text

After breakfast Jay decides he wants to do some tinkering. He hadn't been down in the lair since he had gotten sick, at least that he could remember… and he was pretty sure they would have wanted to keep no-memory-Jay away from the power tools. 

The only problem was he didn't have a specific project that he wanted to work on. So he just decides to go down and see if anything down there jogs his memory and brings a spark of inspiration. He exits the lift and heads over to the workbench, there are a few bits and bobs lying around but it is relatively clean. He briefly picks up a box that looks like a transmitter, turning it over in his hands, but he doesn't know what it was from or if it was even broken. He places it back down when he sees an old Gameboy. “Who's is this?” he mutters quietly, flicking the power switch. It comes on right away, so it doesn't need fixing. He lets out a sigh, maybe I could fit it with a backlight? No, I would need to ask whoever owned it first… 

“Jay?”

Jay just about falls over, almost dropping the Gameboy. He spins around and sees Zane sticking his head out from under Cole's drill car. “Zane… first master don't scare me like that!”

“Sorry.” says Zane with a smile, “but as ninja, we are meant to be prepared for anything.”

“Nope, absolutely not.” says Jay while carefully placing the Gameboy back where he can't drop it. “I am not letting you jump scare me in the name of training.”

“Oh, I didn't mean I would start doing it on purpose…” says Zane with a smile as he extracts himself further from under the vehicle. “Are you lost?”

Jay frowns slightly before looking around the room. “Aaah, I'm pretty sure I still know my way around Zane?” he says slightly indignantly.

“No, sorry, I meant, do you remember why you came down here? You seem a bit… lost.” Zane sighs at his inability to find a better word for it.

Jay's frown melts away. Right. That was what he meant… “No, I remember why I came down here, I just wanted to tinker with something, I didn't have a specific project in mind.” he smiles at Zane who continues to look at him with uncertainty.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, pretty sure. You, um, need any help with the drill? I wasn't expecting anyone else to be down here.”

Zane turns back to the vehicle. “I was recently reminded of the importance of regular maintenance, a few of our vehicles have components whose servicing requirements have been overlooked.”

“So is that a yes?” asks Jay eagerly, head slightly tilted.

Zane smiles. “It is a yes. This will actually be much easier with a second set of hands.”

Zane slides back in under the drill and Jay starts handing him tools as directed. It is a little less of an engaging activity than he was hoping for, but it was something useful. And he hadn’t felt useful in… well, he couldn’t remember. So he lets out a content sigh as Zane asks for a slightly different socket wrench, picking out the requested size with ease, before passing it under.

“So, what inspired you to catch up on all our maintenance?” asks Jay. tapping his foot, eyes still inspecting the rest of the room for inspiration whenever he wasn’t actively helping Zane.

Zane pauses his efforts for a moment. “My coolant system.” Jay raises an eyebrow, leg freezing its movements. “I let it get into such a state of disrepair that I was relying on my elemental power for thermal management.”

“What?!” Jay is stunned, Zane was normally not someone likely to put off until tomorrow what could be done today. Jay couldn’t help but hear the phrase in Wu’s voice. “Since when?”

“A few months. I was waiting on a specialised part, but it turns out they don't make it anymore, so there was the option of machining it myself, or doing more complex changes to allow a different part to be used. Neither option was particularly appealing, so I kept putting it off as I was managing fine without it… until I caught elemental fever.”

Jay sighs. “Right. I heard you were offline for quite some time.”

Zane nods. “I regret not being able to assist when you were sick.” He pulls himself out from under the drill and looks up at Jay nervously. “Nya too, I was barely able to help Kai for a day before I collapsed.” he looks down guiltily.

Jay reaches out to his shoulder. “And I regret not being well enough to help you when you were sick. Maybe if Pixal had help, we could have gotten you online again sooner?”

“It is possible.” says Zane cautiously, “but I do not harbor any resentment.” He grabs at Jay’s hand, giving it a friendly squeeze. “You had your own challenges at that time…” 

And wasn’t that the understatement of the century. “Yeah…” agrees Jay without enthusiasm. They go back to working for a bit, Zane had finished up whatever he was doing underneath, and had just popped open an access panel on the side. Jay is now able to look over his shoulder and actually have a chance at trying to figure out what he was doing. 

But before Zane starts on the new task he lets out a deep unsatisfied sigh. “It is an odd feeling to be missing so much time.” Zane muses.

Jay can't help but laugh at that. “You're telling me! We both missed a lot, huh?”

“Learning what I missed has been… unpleasant.” admits Zane.

“Hmmm.” Jay hums an agreement. “Did you watch any of Pixal's tapes?”

Zane sighs. “A few. I did not enjoy them.”

“Saaame.” says Jay, a little relieved to have someone who understood. “At least with your gap, well, you know what you were doing…”

“Lying unconscious on that workbench.” states Zane cooly with a nod of his head in the direction of the bench.

“Yeah…” says Jay, suddenly unsure about if Zane actually had it worse, mind madly reassessing if what he had just said was horribly insulting.

“Whereas you spent weeks having complex interactions which everyone else can remember, but you can not.” Zane glances at him with a sympathetic look, and Jay lets out a small sigh of relief. He didn't seem upset. “It must be incredibly disorientating.”

“Yeah.” Jay looks back at Zane. “Everyone else, they’re trying to be understanding or whatever, but it's nice to have someone who gets it.” Zane nods. “It's like, I don't know where I stand with everyone? Everything has changed, it feels a bit like I'm inserting myself into the life of some stranger…”

“It was still you Jay.” says Zane.

Jay tenses slightly. “Pixal said the same thing.”

“I did not see first hand what you were like at the start, but you never felt like a stranger.” 

Jay feels the smile slip from his face. He wasn't sure how to explain exactly what he was feeling. He knew he could be a bit much at times. What was it Kai said in the first realm? ‘You're the annoying one'. A joke, but jokes were only funny when there was an element of truth to them. “Sometimes, I, um, don't like myself very much.” admits Jay, while staring down at his feet. “And I just worry that unlikeable version of me was the one you were all stuck interacting with.”

“Jay…” Zane's voice is laced with pity.

“I know it was still me, but that just makes it worse. Because if I hurt anyone, then it was still me who did it.”

“Jay, I have not met any version of you who was unlikeable.” states Zane calmly, and Jay finally looks up from his feet. 

“Well, you must be a terrible judge of character…” Jay starts to chuckle, trying to deflect with a joke.

“Jay, I am being serious.” Jay bites his tongue. “None of us are perfect, we have all said or done hurtful things on occasion, but that does not make you unlikeable.”

He’s lying. They’re all just being nice. They don’t actually like you, especially who you have been these past few weeks…

Jay sighs, trying to tune it out, trying to remind himself that he trusts Zane, a hell of a lot more than his stupid anxiety… he glances up and sees Zane staring at him with concern.

“You don’t look convinced.”

Jay squirms, eyes falling back to his feet. “I just find it hard to believe that none of you are mad at me, that I didn’t hurt anyone… ruin anything.”

“Is there anyone in particular you are worried about?”

“I’ve already spoken to Nya,” Jay pauses, unsure if it was worth saying anything. He was probably over-reacting like normal, “it, um, kinda feels like Cole’s avoiding me…” he reluctantly admits.

“Hmmm.” says Zane, and Jay can hear the fanspeed increase as Zane thinks deeply about the statement.

Jay waits for a few seconds, but Zane makes no move to offer any further information, so he continues. “How do I make it right if I can't remember what I've done?”

“Sometimes you just need to ask.” says Zane. “Like this, can you pass me that spanner?”

Oh if only all problems were that simple…

Chapter Text

Jay goes into the lounge and sees Cole sitting there watching TV. He pauses, Cole had been acting a bit weird since… well since he could remember. A bit distant, like he had trouble looking Jay in the eye, like something had happened between them.

Something that's probably my fault…

“Hey…” starts Jay, hovering in the doorway, “mind if I join you?”

Cole looks over, and there is a brief flash of uncertainty before he shrugs. “Of course not. It's the lounge room, you don't need to ask permission.”

Cole goes back to watching the TV as Jay comes in, sitting beside him on the couch, but not too close. They watch in awkward silence for a couple minutes before Cole lets out a sigh. “Um, did you want to watch something else? I know sports aren't really your thing.” Cole lifts up the remote, getting ready to change the channel.

“But aren't you watching it?”

Cole shrugs, “not really, my team's not playing, so it's not important.”

Jay wrings his hands. “Um, would you mind if we talked?”

Cole hesitates, and Jay wonders just how badly he's stuffed up. What had happened between them to make this giant divide between him and his best friend?

Cole flicks off the TV. “Yeah, ok.” He doesn't sound particularly thrilled about the idea. “What did you want to talk about?”

Jay glances nervously at Cole. “Um, are you mad at me?” 

Cole blinks, not expecting the question. “What?”

“I mean, it's fine if you are. I totally deserve it… but like, did something happen when I couldn't remember? Did I do something to upset you?”

“Jay…” Cole sighs, “I’m not mad at you, it wasn't anything you did. I'm just a bit annoyed at myself. That’s all.”

Jay frowns. “What do you mean?” 

Cole hesitates, “how much do you remember? Is any of it coming back?”

Jay looks down at his hands and shakes his head. “Some of the memories from before might come back, but after… the part of my brain that saved new memories was broken. There's no files to recover.” Cole smirks slightly at the analogy. “But I can remember what's in the book, what people tell me about that time, I watched some of Pixal’s videos... I'm starting to piece it together, but it still feels like people are leaving a lot of stuff out. Like they don't want to upset me. I want to know, I want to understand what it was like, what I put you all through.”

“It wasn't your fault Jay-”

“Yes! It was.” Jay interrupts. “So I can take it, I want to know what happened, I want to know why you can't even look at me right now…”

“Ok, fine!” Cole crosses his arms, frowning slightly, thinking through what he was going to say. “The first few days were awful. You were so confused and scared, and still sick. Everyone was always a bit relieved when you were asleep, because when you were awake it was a constant cycle of panic and confusion. You didn't know what had happened. Seeing your arms always freaked you out. We tried to be patient, but it was hard. Seeing you like that, it was really hard.” Cole lets out a sigh, staring at the TV, arms still crossed.

Jay nods. He had figured as much. He knew that taking care of him must have been awful, tedious, but hearing Cole say it, it still hurt.

“Your parents came and tried to help, but that just freaked you out more. You didn't understand what they were doing here, you normally go see them in the junkyard, not the other way round. So they left and stuck to phone calls after that.” Cole glances over to see how Jay is taking it so far. Jay nods. Making a mental note to call and apologise to them later.

Cole uncrosses his arms, gesturing slightly as he speaks. “After a few days, you finally started to remember the basics, that your memory was damaged, that your arms were hurt, I thought that would make it easier, and in a way it did, we weren't constantly trying to pull you out of a panic attack…” Cole looks away.

“But?” Jay asks eagerly. This must be close to why Cole was upset.

“Instead we had to watch you give up. Over and over again.” Oh. That's what I did. He watches Cole let out a small sigh before continuing. “Lloyd was better at it than I was. He would find a way to keep you distracted, make you smile, I think he's actually a little bummed to have lost his board game partner.” Cole grins at the thought.

“I'll make sure to play a game with him later.” says Jay.

Cole nods before taking a deep breath. “But when I was with you, well, you kept telling me about how awful everything was, about how your life was over, that you'd never do anything useful again, and at first I would politely disagree, try and talk you up, but you'd forget. Reset, and after a while I just couldn't take all the negativity. I'd snap, and we'd end up yelling at each other, and I’d realise what I was doing, that it wasn't helping, and then I'd feel awful and…” Cole shrugs, not sure how to finish the sentence.

Right, that was what Pixal had meant when she had said ‘You had a habit of bickering with Cole’. “Ninja never quit.” says Jay with a sigh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No.” Cole cuts him off. “I don’t blame you for how you reacted, you didn’t have the luxury of being able to think things through and move on. You were stuck in a moment of despair, and you needed me, and I failed you.”

“Cole… you didn’t fail me. I can’t even remember it, so it doesn’t matter.”

“It mattered Jay, in that moment it mattered. Just cause you don’t remember it now doesn’t mean it didn’t matter. In that moment I hurt you, and after a while… I still did my share, but I found myself counting down the minutes, and there was this relief when someone came to swap out.” Cole sighs. “I felt so guilty, tried to convince myself it was easier for you if I wasn’t around as much, but I knew it was a cop out.”

“Cole,” Jay starts sternly, reaching out a hand to rest on his knee, “listen carefully, you didn’t fail me.”

“But-”

“Let me finish! If the one time you yelled at me counts, then so do the 10 times before that where you comforted me calmly. If you needed a break, that’s fair, that’s fine! That doesn’t make you a bad friend Cole… The way you all took care of me, it worked. One of the things I learnt pretty quick was my friends were there for me, all I needed to do was look around the room, call out, someone would be there ready to help me.” Cole’s shoulders lower slightly, the tension in his body starting to relax. “Lloyd wasn’t better at it than you, I think,” Jay scrunches up his face, slightly unsure, “you are my best friend. If I was scared, sad, or freaked out, I’d want to talk to you about it, not Lloyd. That’s probably why I was so whiney whenever you were with me… I can guarantee that when I was with Lloyd, those same thoughts would have been running round my head, I just didn’t feel safe bringing them all to the surface.” He looks up at Cole, who is finally looking at him, properly meeting his eyes, his face full of love and concern. “You weren’t doing worse than Lloyd, you were just doing something different. And it wasn’t fair of me, friendship is about give and take, supporting each other, and I-”

He is interrupted by Cole wrapping his arms around him, pulling him into a tight warm hug. “I know you’d do the same for me, help me when I need it.”

“Yeah…” agrees Jay, finding small tears in his eyes, squeezing Cole back, glad to find that their friendship wasn’t completely broken.

“I’m so glad you’re doing better Jay, I’m so glad you’re not stuck there anymore…”

“Yeah. Me too.” Jay leans eagerly into the embrace, Cole always gave warm firm hugs that rivaled even those from his dad. He feels a wave of relief knowing that he hadn't stuffed up their friendship. Cole wasn't mad at him. He had plenty of reason to be, but he wasn't. And for once he wasn’t going to let his anxiety try and argue the point, convince him it was a lie. Cole was holding him, which meant it wasn't a lie, which meant things were going to be ok.

Jay expects Cole to loosen his grip eventually, but if anything the firmness of Cole's bear-like hug was increasing. Jay was almost about to say something, mind searching for a witty remark, when Cole speaks once more.

“I thought I was going to lose you.” The words are so quiet, broken. 

Jay lets out a small sigh, abandoning his complaint, he would let Cole hold him for as long as he needed. “I'm ok Cole.” he says gently into the other man's ear, resting his head on Cole's shoulder. He thinks back to what Kai had told him. Cole had been there when his heart stopped. Cole had got the defib on him. I should probably thank him for that. “Thanks to you.”

Cole finally loosens his grip, pulling away slightly so he can look at Jay, a hint of confusion on his face. “Thanks to me?” 

“Well, yeah. You saved my life?” 

Cole's frown intensifies. “What are you talking about?”

Jay blinks. “I thought I was meant to be the one with a bad memory?” he teases. “Kai mentioned you, um, helped with the defib.” he adds, more seriously.

Cole pulls away completely, “Kai told you??” He looks away guiltily, “Ah… well, you shouldn't be thanking me for that…”

“What? But you saved my lif-”

“Stop saying that!” Cole snaps and it is Jay's turn to stare at him in confusion. “I didn't do anything, I, I froze.”

“What?” Jay asks timidly.

Cole looks away in shame. “When it happened, I just stood there, stuck, thinking about my mother, how it felt, how it was going to feel… thank the master Kai was there. He didn't hesitate, he was on top of you in an instant, yelling at me to move, to help.” Cole sighs, rubbing at his arm. “Eventually I snapped out of my stupor enough to follow simple directions, but it felt like I wasn't even there… like it wasn’t actually happening. It was all Kai. So you don't need to thank me for that.” Cole lowers his gaze to the floor, face flushed with shame, body tense waiting for Jay's judgement.

Jay lets out a small sigh at the revelation. Well no wonder he's been avoiding me! “Cole…” he starts, but he doesn't immediately know what to say. He isn't mad, but he doesn't know how to explain it.

“So you still think I didn't fail you?” 

Jay sees tears forming in Cole's eyes, hears the crack in his voice. No matter how he answered that, Cole wasn't going to believe him, so he asks something else instead. “Were you there, when she died?” he asks tenderly.

Cole finally looks at him, blinking away tears, not expecting the question. “What? Um, well… yeah, I was. My dad literally had to pull me off her so the doctors could have space to work, to try and save her.”

Jay reaches out to grab Cole's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. He knew how young Cole had been when it happened. His heart breaks a little imagining what that must have been like. “Of course you froze.” says Jay calmly. “Last time you felt like you got in the way, of course you would stand back if it happened again.”

Cole turns to look at him again, still looking like he’s on the edge of completely breaking down. “You're not mad?” his voice trembles with disbelief.

Jay shakes his head before pulling Cole into another hug. “Of course I'm not mad.” He feels Cole's body start to shake with suppressed sobs. “You did great. You listened to Kai, even when it was hard, even when you were stuck thinking about your mum, you kept going. You saved my life.”

It is as if Jay had said the magic words to open the floodgates. Cole clinging to him as his body lets out weeks, or even years of suppressed grief. “I'm… so… sorry…”

“It's ok, you didn’t do anything wrong. I'm ok. Just let it out, you're going to be ok too.” Jay goes back to nestling his head into Cole’s shoulder, trying to get comfortable, he had a feeling he might be here a while. Cole had done his best to support him through the last few weeks, it felt right that he could do something to return the favour. However small, however meaningless. “We’re gonna be ok.”

Chapter Text

Jay knocks nervously on Wu’s door. He had been putting off seeing him, but wanted some answers about his mum.

“Enter.” Comes the muffled reply through the door.

Jay takes a deep breath and enters the room. It looks like Wu had been studying, sitting at a desk with a bunch of scrolls.

“Master? I was hoping you had a minute to talk?”

Wu looks up at him. “Oh, Jay! How is your memory? I heard from Pixal it is much improved?”

Jay rubs his legs together nervously. “Yeah… I'm doing much better now. I can remember most things, for at least a few days now.”

Wu stands up, coming over to Jay and reaches out to hold his shoulders. “Good. Because I wanted to make sure you would remember this.” Jay tenses slightly, not sure what to expect. Wu pulls him into a big firm hug. “I'm so glad you're ok.”

Jay feels the tension vanish. He lifts his arms to wrap them around Wu, hugging him back. He tries to think if Wu had ever hugged him before? He wasn't Jay's dad, or uncle. They had shook hands, sparred, he was sure Wu had caught him one time when he had come flying out of the training course, but a hug? Wu normally kept his distance. Maintaining that role of teacher.

It was firm, strong, warm. FSM did Jay need a hug right now. Although he couldn't remember most of what had happened to him these past few weeks. He knew it had been rough. His body, his nervous system remembered, reminding him with aches and pains and anxiety. Right now it was being comforted. Reassured that it was over, that he was going to be ok.

They stand like that for a while, but it still feels too soon when Wu pulls away, holding Jay's shoulders at arms reach for a moment longer, small tear in his eye, warm smile on his face.

“You were really worried about me huh?” says Jay guiltily.

“I was.” admits Wu, before gesturing to the cushions on the floor, inviting Jay to sit. “I'm not sure if the others told you this yet, but I threatened to expel you as my student if I caught you inside the monastery walls before the disease was gone.”

Jay blinks, “no… no one mentioned that?” Was Wu really going to expel him after such a warm display?

Wu strokes his beard. “Hmm, interesting. Well, technically Kai was the one who caught you sneaking in. I slept through the whole thing. So I see no reason to expel you.”

Jay lets out a small breath. Thank goodness for loopholes… “Thanks… I um, don't deserve it, but thanks.”

“You don't deserve any of it Jay. It was always an empty threat. I just didn't know how to keep you safe.” Wu looks down at his lap, and there is such a deep sadness in his voice.

“Nya mentioned my mother…” says Jay.

“Ah,” Wu looks up slightly, “that explains the visit.”

“Yeah…” Jay rubs at the back of his head.

“What would you like to know?” asks Wu gently.

Jay pauses, rubbing his hands together, eyes dropping down to his lap. There were so many things he could ask. Details about what had happened; how did she get sick? Did anyone else get sick? Where was I? How old was I? What was her last day like? Who was with her? But do I want to know?

Then there were the things he could ask about her more generally. How old was she? What did her laugh sound like? Did she talk too much? What was her favourite food, favourite colour? Did she like being a ninja? He had found traces of her in Cliff's house. A few photos, some jewellery. It wasn't much, he knew what she looked like, but that was about it.

There was a reason he had never asked Wu before. It wouldn't change anything, wouldn't change what happened, wouldn't change that she was gone. He had two loving parents already, and that was enough. Thinking about his birth parents hurt, so he tried to avoid it. But the reason it hurt, well, it usually circled back to two big questions.

Jay lets out a sigh. “Did she love me?” he asks, voice small and fearful. Scared that she didn't, that he was a mistake, not planned, not wanted. Something inconvenient to discard.

“Of course she loved you.” says Wu, voice full of tenderness. “She loved you a great deal.”

Jay nods, shoulders slumping with relief, but this just fed into the next question. “Then why was I left in a junkyard?” Wu drops his eyes, letting out a small breath as he thinks about how to answer. “Don't get me wrong, I love Ed and Edna. I'm not upset about where I ended up, but who does that?! Who leaves a baby at a junkyard?! That's where you take unwanted trash.” Jay could feel his voice cracking, hands starting to tremble. Yup, this was why he didn't like thinking about it. “Was it- did it happen before, or after she died?”

“After.” says Wu, jumping in before Jay could continue rambling. “It happened after, your mother had nothing to do with it. If she was still here, well, it never would have ended up this way.”

“So, my mum loved me, but my dad didn't?”

Wu sighs. “Things are rarely so simple. I didn't know Cliff very well, none of us did. Lilly was very against their relationship when they first started dating, didn't like the guy for whatever reason, but tried to put those feelings aside when your mum got pregnant with you.”

“Was I an accident?”

Wu shrugs. “I'm not sure, but if it was, it was a happy one, at least for your mother, I'd never  seen her so excited!” Wu sighs, moving into a more serious tone. “After she died, Cliff blamed me for not being able to help her. He blamed Lilly for passing the disease to her during a visit. He took custody of you, wouldn't let any of us visit, wouldn't take our calls, screamed and called the police the one time we tried to force a visit.” Wu sighs again. “I left things alone for a while after that. Hoping with time there could be forgiveness. I'm sorry, I don't know exactly why he took you to the junkyard.”

Jay sighs. At least now he had some sort of answer. Someone specific to place the blame on. A story that made sense. Sure Cliff had all that Jay merch in his house, but that must be why he never reached out. Full of shame about what he had done, or more simply maybe he just didn't want to be a father?

“It's not an excuse,” says Wu, pulling Jay slightly from his thoughts, “but Cliff, he was grieving a great loss at the time, he also didn't seem particularly good around children…” Wu reaches out a hand to Jay's shoulder. “You ended up exactly where you needed to be.”

Jay nods. “Thanks Master Wu. For telling me. Sometimes it's hard to face the truth, but I've been putting it off for too long.”

Wu gives him a small smile. “You are loved Jay. Please never doubt that. By the team, by Ed and Edna, by your mother, by myself, by Nya… whatever happens, whatever happened, you are loved.”

Jay nods again, wiping a sleeve over his face. “Thanks. I um, probably have enough to think about for now, but later, do you think you could tell me more about her? What she was like?”

“Of course Jay. I look forward to it.”

Chapter Text

Jay was looking for Lloyd and finds him reading comics in his room. The door was already open, so Jay can see the kid lying on his stomach, feet absentmindedly kicking in the air. Jay knocks on the door frame announcing his presence.

Lloyd’s feet stop mid swing as he looks towards the door frame. “Oh, Jay!” He twists around until he's sitting on the bed. “Did you need something?”

“Um,” Jay starts nervously, “I was just wondering if you want to play a game?”

Lloyd blinks at him a couple times. “Um, sure?” He doesn't sound particularly thrilled.

“Only if you wanted to!” stammers Jay, “I don't want to be a bother…”

“Dude, of course I want to.” says Lloyd with a roll of his eyes. “It's just normally I have to beg in order to get any of you away from the TV.”

“Oh…” says Jay with mild relief.

Lloyd tucks a bookmark into the comic and sets it aside. “So, what would you like to play?”

Jay pulls at his sleeve, “What did we play before?”

“A few things. Uno, chess, a bit of monopoly, connect 4. Hearts if we could convince anyone else to join in.” He counts out the games on his fingers. “It had to be something you already knew how to play, and something that didn't require a lot of planning. You needed to be able to figure out your next move with fresh eyes.”

“Chess doesn't require much planning?” Jay raises one eyebrow.

“Ha! Not the way I play.” says Lloyd as he pulls out a chess board.

Jay chuckles as they both move to sit on the floor. “So… did I win?” asks Jay as he helps set up the pieces, making sure the king and queen were the right way round.

“With me? Yes. Unless you were super tired and not really trying… With Zane? Still no.” Lloyd smiles at the statement. 

Jay had gotten hyperfixated on chess for a few months before the whole Nadakhan incident. Zane had been trying to teach him, but he had never been able to beat the nindroid. “Why am I not surprised?” muses Jay, matching Lloyd’s smile.

“To be fair you didn’t play many games with Zane, it took Pixal a really long time to get him working properly.” Lloyd was white, so moves one of his pawns to start the game.

Jay feels the smile fall from his face. If he had been well, he might have been able to help Pixal with Zane. He lets out a small sigh before taking a move. They sit in silence for a while, just playing the game. Lloyd is picking his moves relatively quickly, and forming a much stronger opening than what Jay was used to.

“Huh…” says Jay, examining the board. “You sure you didn’t win?”

Lloyd smiles proudly. “You gave me a few pointers, went through some openings. This is about as far as I remember.” Jay believes him as he immediately makes a questionable move.

Jay pauses, scratching his chin, he sees an opportunity, but wants to make sure there isn’t a counter he was missing… if Lloyd plays sensibly it wouldn’t be a great move, but… He takes the gamble and moves out his knight. Lloyd’s eyes light up as he quickly takes the knight with a pawn. Jay sighs, he fell for it. Lloyd’s pawn had been protecting his Queen, blocking an oncoming attack. Jay slides his Bishop in for the capture.

“Nooo!” moans Lloyd. “Why didn’t I see that!”

“Guess I still have a thing or two to teach you.” says Jay with a grin, reaching over to ruffle his hair. It had been a while since he had done that, he thinks… It was sometimes easy to forget that this tall lanky teenager, with a broken voice, and wait, was that stubble? Does Lloyd shave now? Hmmm, anyway… was actually much younger than the rest of them. Robbed of his youth by tomorrow’s tea. Forced to grow up, both physically and mentally in order to meet prophecies which he had no say in.

“Hey, quit it!” complains Lloyd, swatting Jay’s hand away, but Jay sees the smile, knows it had been secretly appreciated. Lloyd knocks over his king and they both go about resetting the board.

They start playing again, and Jay feels a light tension in his chest. “Sorry.” he mutters, before taking a move.

“What?” asks Lloyd, looking at the board in confusion. Was Jay about to take one of his pieces?

Jay sighs, “I just feel like I should apologise to everyone… for how I’ve been acting, for what I did…”

Oh, it wasn’t about the game. Lloyd frowns, thinking through his move, thinking through his answer. He slides up a pawn. “Jay…” he sighs, “I should be the one apologising.”

Jay frowns, looking at him like he was stupid. “Why?” asks Jay with utter bewilderment.

“Because it is all my fault!” Lloyd clenches his fists, holding them tightly on his lap. “I brought the disease here, I got everyone sick!”

“You didn’t know…”

Lloyd scoffs, “I should have realised! Colds don’t normally affect my powers, I should have noticed something was wrong. I should have gone straight to my room when I got back but no! I wanted to see you all… I’m so selfish.”

“What? Lloyd, that doesn’t make any sense…” Jay isn’t sure how an apology had turned into this… First master, is this what I sound like when I keep insisting I’m to blame?

“And I had to watch all of you get sick…”

“Lloyd…” Jay's voice is laced with pity.

Lloyd wipes a sleeve over his face. “Forget it, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m fine. I deserve it.” Lloyd stares intently at the board, wanting to continue the game as a reason to exit the conversation, but it is Jay’s turn, so his fingers twitch uselessly in his lap.

I deserve it. Jay’s heart plummets. He was way too familiar with that phrase, echoing around in his own head. He knew he had anxiety, but Lloyd? Lloyd normally seemed like he was doing ok, he could hear it too?

“Lloyd, the voice lies.” he says with utter seriousness, and watches Lloyd’s green eyes finally leave the chess board and snap up to his own.

“What voice?”

“The one saying; It’s all your fault, you deserve it, your friends don’t actually like you!” Jay puts on a whiney voice, trying to make the phrases sound less believable. “It lies. And I should know…” he runs a hand up into his hair. “I’ve been dealing with mine for a long while.”

“Wait, you think we don’t like you?” asks Lloyd with dismay.

“Well, not normally…” says Jay with a sigh. “Cause most of the time I can tell it’s lying.”

“Oh.” says Lloyd softly.

Jay lets out another sigh and reaches down to move a piece. “So… is it new?” He glances up at Lloyd, but doesn’t want the kid to think he’s staring so goes back to looking at the board. 

Lloyd is looking at the chess pieces, but his mind seems to be elsewhere. “I, um… it’s never been this loud.” he admits sheepishly. “I mean, I guess it got pretty bad when I thought you were all dead.” Jay cringes at that. At least from their side in the First Realm they knew the others were alive. “I watched the bounty explode Jay! With you on it! And it felt like my punishment… And this time, I had to watch as each of you fell victim to the disease that I brought. I had to watch Kai overheat, Zane freeze himself to a table, Nya gasp for air as if she was drowning, and then you, as you lay there, shocking yourself.”

Jay wants to say something to comfort him, but he doesn’t remember that part, well he didn’t remember any of it, but had been focusing his efforts on learning about his recovery, not what had happened while he was actually sick. “Lloyd, that wasn’t your fault-”

“I held you down Jay! You didn’t want the drugs, but I held you down so we could knock you out, because you thought you were with Nadakhan, because you wished it all away.” Lloyd has fresh tears in his eyes and lifts a hand to his mouth, realising what he just said, trying to muffle the sobs. “I’m sorry, I- I shouldn't have said that… I-”

Jay blinks, brain choosing not to fully process the words. Something about Nadakhan? Yeah, he could deal with that later. Right now Lloyd was sitting in front of him, distraught, and it was his fault, so he needed to do something about that.

Jay knocks over the chess board as he moves closer to Lloyd, wrapping his arms around the too-tall shoulders, feeling a bit of scratchy stubble brush his skin. Yup, he was definitely shaving now… “Lloyd, it's ok. I'm ok.”

Lloyd wraps his arms around Jay, squeezing back. “I thought… you were going… to die…” he wails in between sobs.

“It’s ok. I’m fine, I didn’t die.”

They stay like that for a while, Lloyd letting out weeks (or more) of pent up grief. Loud sobs muffled by Jay’s shirt. Eventually the crying dies down, and Lloyd pulls away from Jay. “Sorry.” he mumbles, while wiping a sleeve over his face.

“What for?” asks Jay.

“For making you comfort me, when you are the one who got hurt!”

“We all got hurt Lloyd, it’s ok to talk about it.” 

Lloyd doesn’t look convinced, staring at his lap. “I still shouldn’t have mentioned that…”

Jay sighs, “now that I can remember stuff, I’ve been piecing together what happened. It’s hard, but I do want to know, you don’t have to leave anything out, ok? Like Kai already told me about the CPR… so it can’t get much worse than that, right?” Lloyd fiddles with his hands, still unable to meet his eyes. Jay frowns, brain starting to process what he said before. “Wait… did you say Nadakhan?” Jay tilts his head in confusion, Nadakhan was still trapped in the teapot of Thyran, wasn’t he?

Lloyd looks up at him with worry. “I, um, yeah… you kept dreaming about him. A couple times you woke up and it took you a while to figure out where you were.” Jay lets out a small sigh of relief, at least that meant he was still trapped. “The second time it happened, you weren’t snapping out of it. We couldn’t convince you that you weren’t there…”

“So, you sedated me?” Lloyd nods timidly. “Thank you.” says Jay, lifting a hand to his shoulder. “You did the right thing.”

Lloyd looks up at him, still looking tense. “You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? You helped me get through it, right?” he lets out a huff. “Maybe it is good I can’t remember it all…” Nadakhan… why does it always have to be Nadakhan? Jay thought he was finally over it, but something must have reminded him of the pirates. During his round with elemental fever he had apparently been sick, feverish, weak, and in pain… and on Misfortune’s Keep? Well, he had been exhausted, weak (thanks partly to the damned vengestone), and in A LOT of pain. He frowns, remembering the way his eye had been swollen shut, and the various other injuries that he had acquired. “I was in a lot of pain, huh?” he asks Lloyd.

“Yeah… you were.” admits Lloyd. “It was hard to watch.” The rest of what Lloyd had said before dances through his thoughts, mind slowly catching up. 

‘You wished it all away’

Jay feels his mouth go dry. I wished?? Crap… All those pirates had to do was get a bloody car battery and I would have wished it all away?? He looks over to Lloyd, who is staring at him with worry. Nope, he wasn’t going to break down about this, not in front of Lloyd. He takes a deep breath trying to settle his nerves. “Then you definitely did the right thing.” he says, staring into Lloyd’s eyes, emphasising his point.

Lloyd nods again, looking a little calmer. Jay shuffles back to his side of the board and stares down at the mess of pieces scattered over the floor. He starts picking them up and placing them back on the board, instead of resetting the game, he places them back exactly where they had been. Lloyd tries to help but stops when he sees what Jay is doing. “Wait… you remember where they all were?”

“Yeah, I think so.” says Jay, “We hadn’t made that many moves yet.”

Lloyd frowns slightly looking at the board as Jay places the final piece. “You’re not cheating? You didn’t move something to your advantage?”

“Pfft, like I would need to cheat with you.” sneers Jay, glancing up at Lloyd with a crooked smile. “Now come on, it’s your turn.”

Chapter Text

The entire team was huddled on the roof of Ninjago City High School, which was immediately adjacent to Ninjago City Middle School. While the middle school building arguably had a better view of the surrounding section of the city, they weren’t here to stake out the city, they were here to stake out the middle school. An anonymous tip had been left with the police stating that bad things were likely to happen unless the lightning ninja was present at the middle school at midnight on Tuesday. However the details on what bad things would occur had been extremely vague.

Everyone was confused about why Jay had been singled out. “Maybe someone saw us at the doctors?” suggests Nya.

“And they want to test to see if he's still sick?” asks Cole. There was a reason he had told Dareth to keep it quiet.

“It's probably just a prank call.” says Lloyd. It was the type of thing he could see a younger version of himself doing. “Especially since it is focused on the school, a student wanting to get out of classes?”

“But then why make the time midnight?” asks Zane. “There are no classes at midnight that would get cancelled.”

“Whatever it is, they don't sound like a professional.” adds Jay. “So this will be a piece of cake!”

“I hope so…” says Cole. “Something doesn't feel right.”

Given this was Jay’s first mission since, well, everything, the whole team decided to come along as backup. Even Pixal was nearby with the bounty in case they needed a quick getaway. They had been at the high school since 10pm, to try and spot any traps or setup that whoever it was might attempt to implement, but so far there had been absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. 

Emotions were fluctuating between a mix of boredom and nervousness. Jay needed to remind himself that he wasn’t the only one who had gotten sick, everyone was nervously fiddling with their elements, testing their control. 

Nya was repeatedly pulling up the water from a nearby puddle, shaping it into a near perfect sphere before attempting a cube, getting frustrated, and letting it fall back down. Kai sat there flicking small flames on each of his fingers. Zane had coated his shurikens in a thin layer of ice at least a dozen times by now, tapping it on the roof to break it off and start again. Cole was flicking pebbles at the brickwork, orange lines snaking along his arms, and had managed to hit the exact same spot 4 times in a row. And, well, Jay would be lying if he denied creating small sparks between his fingertips, if they wanted to see the lightning ninja, well, he wanted to be able to deliver. 

Lloyd was the only one not testing his element every 5 seconds, instead pacing back and forth. He had the perfect timing of an NPC sentry. 5 paces left, pause 3 seconds, turn 180, 5 paces right, pause 3 seconds, turn 180. It was mesmerising to watch.

As the 5th pebble collides with the wall, a sharp crack can be heard echoing over the schoolyard.

“Would you stop that.” grumbles Kai. “They’re going to hear you.”

“Who? There’s no one here!” whines Cole, leaning back on the guard rail with apathy.

“Yet.” says Kai gumpily. “We want to spot them, before they spot us.”

“Well maybe you should stop lighting up a signal fire every 10 seconds.” whines Cole. There was no artificial lighting on this particular rooftop, they were currently relying on the moonlight, and glow of the city being reflected back by the patchy clouds.

Kai huffs at the statement but makes no further rebuttal, clenching his fist, for now ceasing with the flames. Tensions are high, and Jay doesn’t want more people to start snapping each other, so he does what he does best, and tries to make a joke. “Um, can someone remind me what we’re doing up here?” he says.

Kai rolls his eyes. “Ha, ha. Very funny.” he says in a completely unamused tone. 

“I'm serious!” whines Jay, “I can’t remember. Like, it looks like we're on a stake out, but that can't be right.”

“Why not?” asks Zane.

“There's no donuts.” says Jay with a completely straight face.

Cole snorts. “You're right! What a horrific oversight!”

“Is that why you can't sit still?” asks Kai playfully, small smirk on his face, “we forgot to bring your snacks?”

“We need to focus.” says Lloyd, pausing his pacing, “snacks would be a distraction.”

Nya reaches out a hand to his shoulder. “Lloyd, seriously? There's nothing here! Even with snacks, I'm sure we'd be fine.”

Jay looks at her fondly then turns to Kai, whispering loudly. “Who's the hottie? Is she new? Please tell me she's single.”

Kai shoves Jay, “dude, seriously? That's my sister!” 

A small amount of water collides with Kai's face. “Well maybe your sister likes hearing that her ying thinks she's a hottie.”

Cole is doing a terrible job at stifling his laughter as he looks between the very unamused Kai, smug Jay and sassy Nya.

“Wait? Did you say Ying?” Jay runs over and plants a kiss on her cheek.

“They're here.” says Zane, standing from where he had been sitting on the edge of the roof. The team quickly switches to serious mode, abandoning their banter and rushing over to huddle at the railing. 

Nya, being the only prepared one, pulls out a set of binoculars, Zane uses his advanced vision, and everyone else just squints into the darkness. “They seem to be alone.” states Zane.

“They're early.” says Lloyd, glancing at his watch, it was barely 11:40.

“Who is it?” asks Kai.

“Hmm, wearing a prison outfit…” says Nya as she looks through the binoculars, “and wait… are those wings?”

“Wings?!” Cole snatches the binoculars off Nya. She lets out a huff, but lets him take them. “Oh first master, the commissioner is going to kill me.”

“Why?” asks Kai, “do you recognise them?”

“Kinda…” admits Cole glumly. “Well that explains why he wants Jay. It's Fugidove.”

“Fugi-who?” asks Jay. Cole passes him the binoculars. Jay squints through them but doesn't recognise the figure on the roof. “Am I meant to know who that is?”

“A bit over a month ago you apprehended Fugidove while he was attempting to rob a bank.” states Zane.

“Right…” says Jay, that time period fell in his memory void. He lowers the binoculars, passing them down the line to Lloyd.

“But that doesn't explain why the commissioner is going to kill you?” asks Nya while glaring at Cole.

Cole lets out a sigh, he hadn't told anyone about his feverish attempt at distracting Jay. Well apart from Jay, who had conveniently forgotten… “Well, um, I might have suggested to the commissioner that he let Fugidove out on purpose to distract Jay while you were all sick…”

“What?” says Lloyd, passing the binoculars to Kai, and looking at Cole in disbelief. “He said no right?”

“Of course he said no.” admits Cole. “it was a stupid idea, I wasn’t thinking clearly… But Fugidove somehow broke out anyway because he really wants to get a rematch with Jay.”

“Wait, so I've fought him twice?” asks Jay.

“No, um, Dareth brought him in the second time…”

“Dareth? The brown ninja Dareth?” asks Nya.

“Now I know you're making this up!” says Kai with a chuckle.

“Why would Dareth be apprehending criminals?” asks Zane.

Cole pinches his nose. “Look, I really don't want to get into it, it's a bit of a long story, but it ended with Dareth pushing Fugidove off a roof, that roof if I remember correctly.” Cole points over at the middle school building. “So can everyone make sure not to push him off the roof this time?”

“This is not what I had in mind when I asked you for distraction ideas.” says Lloyd grumpily.

“Wait, so this guy thinks I'm like his rival or something, and I literally can't remember him?” Jay chuckles. “That's pretty funny.”

“Well I guess we should go and apprehend him.” says Lloyd with an air of boredom.

“Maybe we should call Dareth?” suggests Kai with a cheeky grin towards Cole.

“Absolutely not…” Cole runs a hand down his face.

“Well if even Dareth could take him, it will be a piece of cake, right?” asks Nya.

“A perfect donut to finish the stake out.” agrees Zane.

“That's not how that works buddy…” says Cole gently.

Jay chuckles. “Ignore Cole, I thought it was funny!” Jay cracks his knuckles. “So, I go give him a rematch, and the rest of you surround the building and cut off his exits?”

“Jay,” starts Lloyd sternly, “just because he wants to fight you one on one, doesn't mean you have to. We can go together.”

“I know.” says Jay, “but he has already broken out of prison twice in order to fight me, if he doesn't get the opportunity he might just break out again next week?”

“That's a good point actually…” says Nya.

“Don’t sound so surprised!” says Jay playfully bopping her in the shoulder.

“I don't like it.” says Lloyd, “this still feels like a trap, it's too easy.”

“And you will all be right around the corner ready to help!” says Jay. “Best we don’t all get caught in the trap, if there is one.”

“Fine.” agrees Lloyd. 

Jay grins as he jumps over the railing, other ninja following suit.

Jay climbs up onto the rooftop as quietly as he can, using every last scrap of his stealth training. He watches Fugidove from afar who is muttering and pacing, a much more fevered imitation of what Lloyd had been doing earlier. Jay sticks to the shadows until he is close, and then casually walks into the lamp light.

“Hey there!” Jay says cheerfully, waving to Fugidove.

Fugidove trips over his own feet, landing on his butt. “Gah! What? When did you…”

Oh yeah, now Jay could see how Dareth had managed to win against this guy. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!” Jay is still grinning as he offers out a hand to Fugidove and helps him up. The smart thing would be to zap him right now, but Jay was having too much fun, and he needed to put a stop to this whole rival thing. “I’m meant to be meeting someone in a little bit, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone else up here, you haven’t seen them have you?”

Fugidove stares at Jay, blinking a couple times. “Wh-what? It’s me!” he finally stammers.

Jay frowns, “What? It’s me? I don’t get it.”

“It’s me, Fugidove! My cry fills the night! I’m the one who called you here! You don’t recognise me??” Fugidove had backed off slightly, gesturing wildly as he spoke.

Jay had to suppress laughter as he pushes his face into a more neutral position. “Sorry, have we met before?”

Fugidove falls to his knees, taking significant emotional damage. “But, but… you recognised my skill? You wanted to fight me!”

“Um, you called me here, remember?” says Jay.

“Well, yeah, I did, this time… but last time you wanted me!”

“And was I here last time?” asks Jay, with one eyebrow raised.

“Well, no…” Fugidove lowers his head in shame.

“So why did you think I wanted to fight you?”

“Well, um, but the bank! Surely you remember me from the bank?” Fugidove looks up again, eyes eagerly searching Jay for a reaction.

Jay frowns, tapping at his chin. He honestly couldn’t remember the bank. “Which bank was it again? I get called to a lot of bank heists.”

“No… but I… you’re my rival?”

“Dude, I don’t even know who you are.” Jay starts to feel a little bit bad, seeing tears start to leak out from under the ammature looking mask.

Suddenly Fugidove is back on his feet, running away from Jay, and towards the edge of the building.

Oh no. “Wait!” cries Jay, as he starts running after the other man, but Fugidove has too much of a head start, even with his speed Jay isn’t able to reach him before he leaps off the edge of the building.

“My cry fills the night, COO COO!”

Fugidove spreads his wings and Jay watches in admiration as he glides towards the fence line. Jay knew first hand how difficult it was to make home made wings that actually worked. Fugidove wasn’t flying exactly, but the glide was graceful, white feathers outlined by the moonlight, at least until his foot caught on the top of the fence and he went tumbling down the other side. There was a loud thump from where he landed, followed by some muffled cursing, then footsteps sprinting away.

Jay stops at the edge of the building not sure what to do next. He couldn’t make that jump, he’d have to go down and around, but was this guy even a threat?

Cole and Lloyd come running from opposite directions, then stop when they see Jay perched on the edge of the roof. “What was that sound?” asks Lloyd.

“Where’s Fugidove?” asks Cole.

Jay sighs, and points to the fence.

“What? How?” asks Lloyd, frowning at the stupidly high fence.

“I didn’t push him I swear!” says Jay defensively, as he climbs down off the roof.

“The commissioner is really going to kill me!” moans Cole as all three of them start to scale the fence.

Kai, Zane, Nya and even Pixal joined in to help scout the nearby area, but they couldn’t find any trace of the feathered fugitive. This was meant to be easy, how had they let someone like Fugidove get away from them? The embarrassment was probably why they were all still out here searching, hours after they had lost sight of him.

Cole had separated from Jay and Lloyd in order to cover more ground. He is just about ready to finally admit defeat and call it quits when his phone starts buzzing. He pulls it out of his pocket and frowns when he sees the caller ID. He lets out a deep sigh as he lifts the phone to his ear. “Dareth… I’m kind of in the middle of something right now…”

“Sorry, sorry, I know it’s super late, but you are not going to believe who I just hit with my car.”

Cole’s heart skips a beat, no…

“I haven’t been drinking, I swear! Never do while I’m working, I just closed up the bar and was on my way home when this guy just flew out of nowhere, running in front of my vehicle, he was in some mad rush, that’s for sure… but when I got out and saw who it was, well I just had to call you.”

Cole pinches his nose. “Dareth, where are you right now?”

“Um, about a block from the police station, in fact I think I see a patrol car, hey! Over here!”

Cole pulls the phone slightly away from his face, trying to pretend that this isn’t happening. utter dread flowing through him. Yup, the commissioner is going to kill me.