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It was totally unexpected.
The last thing Stiles expected doing some shopping in the middle of the day.
Stiles is just grabbing a Chips Ahoy box for Daniel and himself when he feels his phone buzzing in the back pocket of his jeans. He quickly leaves the box in the shopping cart and looks at the ID before replying.
"Hey Derek, what's up?" Stiles says as he walks towards the cereals at the end of the aisle.
"Stiles. Don't freak out, okay?"
"Okay."
"He's awake," Derek says as calm as he can.
"What?"
"It's true. Jackson just came out of the coma."
"He did?"
"Yeah. His eyes are open and he talks so yeah, I'm pretty sure he did."
Stiles doesn't say anything, he's still processing the news and too shocked to appreciate Derek's sense of humour.
Derek snorts, "I told you it was a matter of time, didn't I?"
Derek loves the I told you so...
"Oh god.." Stiles says finally shaking his head, "yeah, you did..." Everybody did, "but I thought..." He doesn't even know what he thought anymore.
"Are you coming over or what?" Derek sounds impatient which is pretty unusual in him.
"Am I...? Yeah, yes, I'm going... Just, I'm in the supermarket. I'm going to pay for this stuff and I'll be on my way."
"Okay, see you soon then,"
"Bye," Stiles says before ending the call.
"Shit," Stiles says to himself as he places his phone in his pocket again.
******
Everything happens so fast that when Stiles arrives to the clinic he's not sure how much time has passed, he's just happy he didn't have an accident on the way there because he wasn't exactly focused on the road.
As soon as he goes through the door he meets Derek with a smile that he had not seen on his face since before that night when Jackson fainted.
"So you said he's talking?" Stiles says.
"Yes. He is awake, Stiles," Derek repeats because it's obvious that Stiles is not fully convinced yet.
"Did you... Did he ask anything?"
"Well, he asked what happened obviously and he asked about the baby... about you.. about Daniel. What did you expect?"
"Did you tell him anything?" Stiles wonders.
"A few things... yeah, I mean, Deaton told him what happened to him, of course, and that the baby is okay and he's doing better but nothing about you or Daniel if that's what you mean. I told him I was going to call you and then his mother arrived, so I left them alone."
"And how is he? Is he okay?"
"Yeah, Deaton is with a patient now but you can talk to him later if you want. He examined him and he has no memory loss or any physical consequence, other than his loss of strength for being inactive for so long, but he's a werewolf so with the right diet and physical activity, he should recover much faster than you did. And besides, now things are different, you are at the house and you know the truth, so I'm sure he'll be okay in no time."
"You called Kane, right?"
Derek nods, "I texted him... he was in a meeting. He said he'll come over as soon as he can, which could be for lunchtime I guess. I know he had a very busy day today. But anyway, go see him, don't make him wait any longer."
"Okay, see you later," Stiles says before going to Jackson's room.
He knocks on the door and hears a "come in" from Laura so he enters the room.
"Hey Stiles! I'm glad you're here, take a seat," Laura says getting up and offering him her chair. "I'm going to go."
"You don't have to, you can stay with us." Stiles says.
"No, it's okay, I'm going to make some phone calls, David is out of town and he told me to call him as soon as I talked to Jackson. Besides, I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about."
Stiles felt badly at first, but the truth is that he'd rather talk to Jackson alone than in front of his mother-in-law, especially when he's not sure what they're going to say to each other.
The situation couldn't feel more weird. After waiting for so long to see Jackson awake, it feels pretty surreal... but there he is, sitting on that bed with eyes open and looking at him like he's afraid to be the first one to talk. The curious thing is that of course, there's not much difference in his appearance. He looks the same as the previous days and even if he's pale as hell, he's gained weight and he looks much better than he did before the coma.
"Hi," Stiles says after sitting on the chair.
"Hi," Jackson says staring at him. "I'm glad you're here. How are you doing?" Jackson's smile doesn't reach his yes but Stiles can feel that he's making an effort because he seems happy to see him.
"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? You're the one who just woke up from a coma, not me."
"I'm sure Derek already told you that I'm fine."
"Yes, but I want to hear it from you, not him. And I want you to tell me the truth."
"I'm a werewolf, Stiles. I remember you, our life. I still..." Jackson stops himself from ending that sentence. "I remember our son... and, whatever happened, I'll be okay soon."
"Whatever happened?" Stiles raises his eyebrows, "Seriously? Are you gonna still keep that up? I thought you talked to Derek."
"Yeah, we talked... but what do you mean?"
"And he didn't tell you?" Of course, he should have guessed that Derek wouldn't even mention it.
"Y'know," Stiles continues, "I'm aware that you just came out of a freaking coma and this is not the first thing I wanted to tell you when you woke up... but the truth is that I couldn't get it out of my head and god, you did this to us!"
"Will you please tell me what you are talking about?" Jackson waves his right arm.
"Shit, you know what I'm talking about! You fucking lied to me, Jackson. You were sick. You knew you were sick all along and you didn't say a word. You kept it to yourself and Derek! And that's why you ended up here! You could have died and our child would have died too and you didn't care..."
"How do you...?" Jackson shakes his head confused, "Derek promised me he wouldn't say anything..." Jackson says getting more upset by the second. "He promised me!"
"Oh no, don't worry. He kept your fucking promise. If it wasn't for Kane, I'd still be totally clueless of your stupidity."
"Shit," Jackson says closing his eyes for a second. Of course, Derek told Kane, there's no surprise there.
"He had no right," Jackson shakes his head.
"Oh yes, he did. He's my friend," which comes out before he has time to think twice about it. "He knows what you did is bullshit and irresponsible and... shit! How could you do this? How could you risk your life? You are..." Stiles stammers, "I mean, you are pregnant... I don't understand it."
"I know I'm fucking pregnant, you don't need to remind me. But I thought... I hoped that I could convince you... that maybe, if I was patient... I don't know, that maybe you'd come back for Daniel, not for me, y'know? And if you came back to the house, I could stop what was happening and things would go back to normal."
"Go back to normal?"
"Not with me, but with him. I know you don't love me, okay? I know that and it hurts but I can deal with it. Daniel, on the contrary, he doesn't understand it, he loves you and he needs you and I know you, I know you'd understand it sooner or later and you'd come back home for him. And we could have some kind of arrangement... maybe --"
"Wait," Stiles interrupts him. "An arrangement? What do you mean?"
"Yeah, y'know, figure out a way to live under the same roof but in a way that somehow you weren't miserable. I would have tried to give you your space, your freedom..."
"My freedom?" Stiles frowns.
"Yeah. I know you left because you felt trapped there, you made it pretty clear. But Daniel needs you and he wants you there. So I was ready to do anything you wanted. I still am."
"You're unbelievable," Stiles shakes his head. "You could have talked to me. I might not remember what happened between us, but I'm not asshole, y'know? I wouldn't have just let you die and the fact that you think I would --"
"I just told you!" Jackson interrupts him. "I didn't think --"
"I don't care! I don't fucking care what you say. It doesn't matter. What you did..." Stiles bites his lip trying to calm down. "It was reckless, and stupid and you should know better... you should know me better."
"Stiles --"
"No, don't Stiles me, you left me alone with a kid who needs you. Because you're too proud and too stubborn to be honest with me."
"That's not --"
"True?" Stiles finishes for him. "Oh yes, it is. We didn't know if you were going to wake up! Sounds familiar?"
"It is not the same," Jackson says dryly.
Stiles snorts, "the fuck it isn't."
"You don't care about me! Okay? You don't know how it feels to see your husband dying on the side of the road! You have no fucking idea. So don't tell me it is the same because it isn't," Jackson runs his right hand through his hair avoiding Stiles's eyes. "It isn't."
Stiles is taken aback for a moment by the sudden outburst. He's seen Jackson sad before but it had been a long time since he had seen him so frustrated. The last time was when he was at the hospital and Jackson tried to talk to him.
The truth is that Stiles didn't know what would happen if Jackson came out of the coma. He didn't know how that conversation would go exactly, but he never expected it to take this turn. It was Jackson who had fucked up after all.
"Look, I know you're right. I didn't mean to imply that what you went through didn't suck, okay?"
Jackson rolls his eyes dramatically, "didn't suck?"
"What?" Stiles waves his right arm.
"Nothing," Jackson licks his lips and smiles wryly.
"What?" Stiles insists.
"Just..." Jackson hesitates, "the way you talk."
Stiles looks at him confused and Jackson knows he doesn't get it. Obviously he wouldn't.
"Since you woke up... you sound like you used to... when we started, I mean. When you were seventeen." It's like being married to a teenager.
"Really? Why didn’t you tell me that before?"
"Because I don't mind... You're still you... but sometimes, it reminds me what happened, that's all."
"I shouldn't have said anything," Jackson says when Stiles doesn't reply.
"I'm sorry," Stiles says.
"I told you, I don't care. You don't have --"
"No, I mean... I don't want to argue with you. That's not what I wanted. Shit, it's been six weeks waiting for you to wake up and when you finally do it's like we can't talk to each other."
"I don't want to argue either..."
"I've had a lot of time to think and I know I fucked up. I..." Stiles hesitates. He's thought a lot about what he'd say if he had the chance and now that he has it, it's like he's not sure how to actually say it.
"What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry I left. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing and the truth is that I didn't listen to Derek... and I didn't listen to you either. I know you wouldn't be here if I had stayed... so yeah, I'm sorry I disappointed you."
Jackson doesn't say anything at first because he's obviously too surprised to hear that from Stiles.
"You didn't disappoint me," he finally says. "Of course I was upset because I didn't want you to leave but it doesn't mean I didn't understand how you felt. And what happened to you... it wasn't your fault. Besides, you couldn't have known this bond mess would happen."
"Why did we do it exactly?"
"What do you mean?" Jackson frowns.
"The bond? This mates thing? Seeing as it almost killed you, doesn't seem like the best idea."
"Well," Jackson hesitates. He understands the question but trying to answer it when Stiles has forgotten how he felt is certainly complicated. "I know how it looks now... but if it wasn't for the accident it would never have been an issue," he's sure of that.
"We did it because we loved each other and you like that I'm a werewolf. You always have. And I wanted..." Jackson licks his lips for a moment as he trying to find the words, "I wanted something special because I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you," Jackson shakes his head and closes his eyes as his remembers. "You said I was your soulmate," Jackson opens his eyes, "believe it or not, this mates thing... it was your kind of thing. I guess that everything supernatural is your kind of thing. I didn't need to convince you."
"Yeah, that sounds..." Stiles runs his right hand through his hair. "I mean... I believe you... Like I said, I've had a lot to think about and I've made some changes..."
"My mother told me you're back at the house..."
"Yeah, Daniel missed it and I realised that he... we needed to be back there. It's been good for him, he's happier, you know? he's got his clothes, his toys, his bed... he only needed you. He's going to be so happy..." Stiles grins. He can't wait to give him the news.
"I can't wait to see him," Jackson smiles.
"My mother said you've been taking very good care of him... Thank you," Jackson says with sincerity. "I know it mustn't have been easy."
"You don't need to thank me. He's my son too, y'know?" The way he says it is so simple and honest that it takes Jackson by surprise again. Once more, he realizes that some things have really changed while was unconscious. He can easily feel a change in Stiles's attitude but he's afraid of saying anything in case it makes Stiles feels self-conscious about it.
"What else has your mother told you?" Stiles wonders since she's obviously talked about him.
"Not much about you if that's what you mean. She said you've been here every day and that you two have talked about the past. That you had some questions. That there were things she thought you should tell me... Do you know what she was referring to?"
"Yeah, I think I do," Stiles says avoiding Jackson's eyes.
"Well? What is it?" Jackson asks getting impatient.
"I'm going to tell you but please, don't be upset with me..." Stiles says unsure, running a hand through his hair.
"Why would I be upset?" Jackson frowns. "Did anything happen?"
"Kind of... you could say that, yeah."
"Shit, Stiles, whatever it is, spit it out..." Jackson insists.
"Okay, okay... so the thing is that like three weeks ago... I brought Daniel to see you."
"You did what?" Jackson frowns.
"Look, your son wouldn't stop asking about you. He wouldn't let it go and he's not stupid. He wanted to see you... he wanted to talk to you."
"And you brought him here?" Jackson waves his arms with incredulity.
"Yes, I did. He's my son and I care about him. I had to make a lot of decisions while you were here. I asked my father and he agreed that it was the right thing to do. I'm sorry if you don't agree with me..."
"Stiles, I --"
"I just, I didn't know what else to do," Stiles interrupts him.
"I get that. I do," Jackson says.
"You do?" Stiles asks surprised.
"Of course, I do. I went through the same. It was so fucking hard. That's why I barely saw him. That's why I left him aside. I didn't want him to see you in that situation. The way I handled it... I already told you once... I'm not proud of that."
"Then what's the problem?" Stiles asks confused.
Jackson snorts and shakes his head, "The problem is I hate the idea of him seeing me here. Not only is this one of the saddest places of earth but I look pretty horrible if you haven't noticed..."
Leave it to Jackson to worry about his appearance when he could have died.
"Believe me, when they brought you in, you looked much worse. I'd say that this time off has been good for you. You've gained weight and the baby is healthy."
"You don't need to tell me, I feel so much bigger..." Jackson says touching the baby bump with his right hand.
"Well, you should. You're almost six months and two weeks pregnant, so I mean, that's how you should feel."
"I know." Jackson has done this before but it's easy to forget that Stiles doesn't remember it and doesn't know what he went through.
"So are you going to tell me or what? How did he take it?" Jackson asks breaking a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.
Stiles licks his lips as he remembers what he meant to say before.
"Well, we brought you roses, red roses because I know you like them, and he was very excited to finally see you. So, I thought maybe this is not going to be a disaster... but when he saw you," Stiles hesitates, "he was so sad, he wanted you to wake up and come home, and then, he started crying and broke my heart in a million pieces and I started to think that I completely suck as a father because that was my fucking brilliant idea and I realized that you would be furious with me for bringing him here but then..." Stiles sighs, catching his breath. "Then he did his very own demonstration of werewolf healing and I started to freak out, called Derek and probably totally lost it afterwards."
Jackson raises his eyebrows, both with incredulity and surprise, trying to make sense of all that endless rambling.
"Did you just say werewolf healing?"
"Yeah, that's exactly what I said."
"Oh my god," Jackson's smile reaches his eyes and Stiles can't help but remember how beautiful Jackson looks when he smiles. He can't remember the last time he saw him smile... it never happened when he was at the house. It seems he never gave him something to be happy about and he never once stopped to think about it, which, in retrospect, he can admit that it's pretty fucked up.
"You mean... you mean, he's a wolf, don't you?" It's not really a question and that's why Stiles doesn't say anything, he just smiles back, happy that Jackson seems to love the idea.
"Derek said you'd be happy about it..." I guess he was right, Stiles thinks.
"To be honest, I thought... I expected that maybe he wouldn't be human... It was a feeling I had since before he was born but I didn't know if it was my imagination or if it was more than that. So I didn't tell you anything, although maybe I should have."
"Well, I wouldn't have remembered it, so it doesn't matter."
"So, you freaked out?" Jackson asks when he remembers what he said.
"Look, I'm not proud of it. That was probably my lowest moment as a father so far which proves that I'm stupid because I had never considered the possibility and shit," Stiles shakes his head, "you are his father, of course there was that chance."
"Don't say that, okay? You're not stupid," Jackson says looking directly at Stiles's eyes.
"What happened next? He didn't notice anything, right?"
"No, he was too upset to realize what was happening. He calmed down in Derek's arms and it didn't affect him. Derek says that what happened is actually totally normal because you two share a very special bond... and basically, under that emotional situation, his protective instinct took over and healing you was the only way his wolf found to connect with you."
"Shit," Jackson says shaking his head. He never wanted his son to go through all that and now he's going to have to deal with being a wolf as well. He hadn't stopped to think about the consequences.
"Just a moment ago I thought you were glad he's a wolf," Stiles frowns.
"I am glad. I never expected to have a son, let alone a werewolf one... and he's so smart... but now that I know, after everything he's been through, I wonder if this is going to be hard on him, if he won't like it, y'know?"
"I know what you're trying to say and I've thought about that too because I've had nothing but time to think about it a million times but my father says that we've done a good job so far and that as long as he knows we love him and that we're here for him, he's never going to feel alone or different."
"I'll be honest," Stiles continues, "before you woke up, I wasn't so sure because I'm not a wolf and, as much as I appreciate Derek offering to help, he's not his dad and Daniel knows that. He needs you, his real dad, who can teach him all that werewolf shit he needs to know. And I need you too," Stiles adds grabbing Jackson's left hand.
"I want you to give me another chance," Stiles bites his lip.
Jackson was about to make a comment when he feels Stiles holding his hand and saying a sentence he would never have pictured him saying and he looks at Stiles's eyes and he hears him talking and it still doesn't feel any more real.
"I know I fucked up when I left, but I'm home now and I know I don't have a lot of practice but I'm trying to be his father again the best way I can... and I want to try to be your husband again and so, I think that maybe our bond will be strong again, and you and the baby will be safe... and you won't die... because I don't want you to die, okay? So, what do you think, you're okay with that, right?"
Stiles looks at him expectantly after his rambling, and Jackson looks at him like if he had asked about the creation of the universe and Stiles doesn't know what to think. It's not like he expected the most euphoric answer but he didn't expect that lack of reaction either.
"So?" Stiles insists.
"You're asking me if I want you back at home with us?" Jackson asks, raising his eyebrows, trying not to smile.
"Yeah, I am." Stiles says, still holding Jackson's hand.
The way he says it, Jackson realizes what was so weird about it. It's been so long since Stiles has been insecure about their relationship that he had totally forgotten about it. It seems like a lifetime ago, but people's personality isn’t erased, it just changes through the years as they grow up.
"I mean, I'm already there and I know you said before that you wanted some kind of arrangement so that we could be under the same roof... but I don't need an arrangement. I want..."
Stiles licks his lips and Jackson can feel the nerves radiating from him.
"I want you to be happy. Like before the accident. And I think, if I try harder... maybe this time, we'd have like a second chance... you know?"
Jackson smiles and he could kiss Stiles right now because he looks like the cutest thing and he never expected something like that to come from him.
"You don't need to ask me anything. I want you with us... with me, bond or no bond. It's not about that, and that's why I didn't tell you anything when I found out. You are my husband and that's never going to change. My love for you is never going to change. It doesn't matter if you remember me or not. You belong with me, so of course, you're not moving your ass from our house... don't be an idiot," Jackson says.
"Is that what you've been thinking about while I’ve been here?"
"Yeah, amongst other things..."
"What kind of things?" Jackson says although part of him is a little afraid to ask.
Stiles bites his lip, unsure what to say exactly.
"Stiles, come on, what were you thinking about?" Jackson insists because he can feel Stiles getting nervous again.
"Okay. So... point one, you're not sleeping on the sofa again. That has to end. There's nothing wrong with sharing a bed because we're fucking married and you're pregnant and you need to stay close to your mate and that's me and so, as I said, this thing with the sofa is definitely over."
"I see..." Jackson says, hiding any sign of surprise. "Yeah, I can see how that makes sense. If you think it's a good idea I have nothing against it. Despite what I said, I'm not a big fan of the sofa."
"And point two—"
"How many points do you have?" Jackson interrupts him.
"Well, actually, I have three... why?"
"Nothing... nothing, just curious," Jackson says, "go on."
"Yeah, so, point two is that I think we should go on a date." Stiles continues.
"A date? You mean like a romantic date?"
"Do you know any other kind of date?"
Jackson snorts and tries not to laugh because that's something like what he said all those years ago.
"Are you really laughing at me?" Stiles frowns, feeling a little self-conscious. When he thought about this, he was sure Jackson would understand that they needed this... that it made perfect sense given their fucked up situation.
"No, sorry. I swear I'm not laughing at you. You just reminded me of something. And yeah, I know what you mean. You're right, we should totally do it. Just tell me what you want to do and we'll do it. You decide."
"You want me to decide? Seriously?"
"What? It's your idea..."
"Well, my idea was to go out to have some dinner, nothing very original… I’m not an expert on this field..." Since this is actually going to be his first date.
"That's fine with me. Dinner is good. Just pick a place and a date and we'll do it, okay?"
"Fine. I will," Stiles says.
"What's the third?" Jackson asks after looking at their joined hands to make sure that he's awake and this conversation is indeed real.
"The third, right. The third point is that we need to talk to Daniel and tell him what's going on because like you said before, he's smart and A, now that you're bigger he's gonna notice, right? And B, it's not like if we can go home one day with a baby and say hey, here's is your brother or sister and he's gonna be okay with that without asking any questions... so, yeah, we need to tell him, don't you agree?"
"Yeah, of course. Believe it or not, I had been thinking about it too. We talked about it and we knew it'd be a matter of time before we had to tell him, and we agreed that we were not going to try to hide it from him. I know I should have told you but it never came up, I guess."
"Cool," Stiles nods, "we'll tell him then..."
"Yes, don't worry, we'll figure it out," Jackson says intertwining their fingers. "It's gonna be okay, you'll see."
For the first time since the accident that changed their lives, Jackson can see some light at the end of the tunnel. The truth is that he has no idea how they got to this point but he doesn't care. What really matters is that his husband is touching him again... he's holding his hand and he had points about them in his head. Maybe there's a future for them after all... maybe they're getting that second chance some people get in life.