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You are Noelle Holiday. You are a straight A student, and you are half of the track and field team, but your biggest interest is in creepy pastas and other horror media. You also love video games. You are currently watching a comfort video of yours, in your room, in an effort to distract yourself from recent thoughts. Thoughts about your... former? best friend, Kris Dreemurr.
These thoughts were far from new, you were sure about that, but when they had started was unknown to you.
You first noticed these thoughts two weeks ago, at the festival:
You were thinking about how you hated Kris. This wasn’t a new thought, though usually it was an endearing sort of hate, the kind you felt after someone told a dad joke or pulled a stupid prank. In this case, however, it was nothing more than the fact that Kris was here with you and Susie. Like, why did they have to play third wheel?
The worst part was you enjoyed having them along. Riding the carousel, winning each other prizes on the fairway, eating all the greasy food you could.
No, the worst part was Susie or Kris making a joke and you not being in on it. The worst part was being left out of the conversation, because you couldn’t even think of what to say.
The real worst part, though, was the Ferris wheel.
Susie, resting her hands behind her neck, “So, you want to ride this thing?”
Oh, you did. You so very much wanted to recreate the moment from your dream.
But Susie wasn’t asking just you, was she.
Kris signed, ‘Yes’, and they got in. You only followed after a moments hesitation. Would Susie prefer to be alone with Kris? Would she prefer you not to be around?
You hated that idea, the thought of the two of them staring into each others eyes before kissing, a kiss that quickly turns into a make out and--
“Are you getting in or what?”
God, you were flushed. What was that brain, why couldn’t you stop thinking about them, why, Why, WHY!?
You didn’t notice them looking at each other worriedly, as you were too focused gripping your hair. You couldn’t breathe.
You couldn’t breathe.
You felt someones arms around you, as they put you in their lap. You heard a raspy voice telling you to breathe with them, and so you did.
You were in Kris’ arms, as they helped you calm from the panic. You saw Susie, wide-eyed across the gondola.
You don’t remember the rest of that night except as flashes of vague memory, of a bonfire and fireworks and candy and a picnic blanket and the warmth of your friends. You remember thinking that you wanted this forever, the three of you. That you wanted Susie, and Kris too.
Your video ends, and you are stuck in that wish. A pint echoes from your phone. You have a text from Kris.
School the week after the festival was awkward. Kris and Susie were no shows the day after, the second day engrossed in each other, barely even acknowledging your presence. Berdly was as helpful as ever, though at least he’d stopped flirting with you... after you told him straight up you weren’t straight... and threatened to lock him in the nearest locker. But, even without his annoyance, things still sucked. Kris and Susie weren’t talking to you, much less anyone else, and often just weren’t around.
You had hoped to talk about things, but all this made that hope seem stupid.
You ignore Kris. This isn’t the first text you’ve ignored from them, after seeing them and Susie... well, you’d rather not think about that.
The week after the festival ended with another day at church, listening to Father Alvin and singing. You’d like to think you are good at singing (Kris’s compliment would hang with you forever, you think). You wished they’d talk to you, but after six days it was getting old. You’d talk if they ever apologized for ignoring you.
The second week after the festival was a mess, compared to the awkwardness of the first. Kris and Susie were declared missing, school was closed soon after, and then it happened.
You start a new video. God, you hated what happened then. Your mother dragged you to the Shelter, and she knew about the dream? She’d been working with Kris? Like, what the actual fuck.
The events in the shelter dark world were a blur, until the moment that lives in perfect clarity in your mind.
Kris and Susie kissing in what seemed like relief. You ran, and haven’t left your room since. You vaguely remember them looking around for something or someone after the kiss, but you were in shock.
Kris’s texts began soon after. You never read any, but also refused to block their number. You want to pretend that things are normal with them someday.
Your video starts buffering. God, fuck anti-adblock measures. You attempt to end the buffering when a rock flies through your window.
You knew this would happen. Kris couldn’t just let you get over them in peace, could they.
Outside your window, down in the yard, are Kris and Susie. You decide to yell at them.
“Cheesus Crust, why the fuck are you two outside at 3 in the morning?”
God are you glad your mother has been working constantly cleaning up after the second shelter incident.
“We’d like to talk to you, dumbass! Why aren’t you answering our texts?”
You’d like to lie, but talking like this kinda sucks, so you decide to go down to the side door. They can wait a few moments longer.
After putting on shoes (fit for hooves) and a light jacket you head out, peak around the corner, and see Susie pacing around while Kris lies in the grass. It’s the perfect opportunity for a prank of your own: the simple jumpscare. Just gotta wait for Susie to face away and it should work.
You jump out at them. Susie curses up a storm, and Kris jumps to standing. Oh, you love a good prank.
Susie walks up to you and flicks you on the forehead. “You scared us, dumbass. Why the hell did you do that for?”
“You gave me the perfect opportunity, fa ha ha. Kris would have done it, you know!” You stick out your toungue at her as Kris nods in acknowledgment.
“Why you... agggh”
Kris taps Susie’s shoulder, interrupting her annoyance. ‘We came here with a purpose, Susie’
“Right. So, uh, last week was kinda a lot, we didn’t mean to ghost you after the festival date and all, but shit happened, Dark Worlds and Saving the World shit, y’know. And, you aren’t innocent either, you’ve been ignoring us. We’d like to know why and, uh, move on as a trio?”
Kris grabbed Susie’s hand as she talked. God, you want that.
Be honest or not, you think. Do you tell them of your jealousy? And what was that Susie said about a date?You may as well tell the truth, if that’s what they think, though will they receive it well?
Fuck it.
“I am jealous. Of both of you, I think, fa ha ha. It’s not something I really noticed until the festival, like, I like you Susie, and you too Kris, but like, I... I didn’t notice, and I thought it was too late then, and then you guys ignored me, and then I saw you kissing each other and like, I don’t know, I just stayed in my room, fa ha ha.”
You don’t notice Susie and Kris looking at each other through your sleepy, tear-filled eyes. What you do notice is them hugging you.
“Thanks, this, this feels nice,” you say.
You relax in their arms, content to stay there for a time. You almost are asleep when Kris pulls off and starts to sign.
‘You’re jealous of me, huh.’
You hesitate to respond.
“I think so?”
‘You wanna make out?’
Your sleepiness goes out the window at that. Do you? You do, but so nonchalantly?
“Would Susie even be okay with that!”
Susie nods. She was paying attention, apparently, even though you could have sworn she was asleep a second ago.
“Go ahead. Don’t think I’ve the energy to do anything like that, damn if I know how you have any. Do you ever sleep, Kris?”
‘Yes,’ Kris signs.
You sit down in the grass, ending up with Susie’s head in your lap and Kris sitting across from you. The sound of bugs and nature and Susie’s breathing fill the air around you and them; the harsh light of the security lights illuminates you and your soon to be make out partner? Romantic partner?
Their long, shaggy hair; their new outfit, to you, god it reminds you of Dess and of yours and Kris’s not as long ago as you’d like to think Homestuck phase: new jeans, new black t-shirt, new red plaid un-buttoned up. They look pretty, in simple terms; you want nothing more than to kiss them and Susie and maybe talk about what you guys are, reconnect with Kris and all.
You say, “You look pretty, I like the outfit.”
Kris signs a compliment on how your pajamas make your legs look. You blush, they grab your face and lean in, you kiss and you want more of them. You and them try not to jostle Susie and mostly succeed, Kris kisses your neck and bites and you bite back and you are holding onto them and them to you and...
You wake up in your yard, and it must be late as the sun is overhead. Susie is still in your lap, and Kris is sitting nearby, drinking chocolate milk and texting someone.
“Who’re you texting?”
‘Your mom,’ Kris signs.
“Why?” You ask incredulously.
They topple backwards, laughing uproariously, coughing and sputtering as they try to hold it in.
“What’s so funny?”
By the time they calm down, which takes so much longer than you would like, Susie is awake, rubbing at her head.
“What are they laughing about?”
“I honestly don’t know. They said they were texting my mom?” You ask, still confused, but glad to have someone else to be confused with.
Once Kris calms down they sign an explanation. They were texting Dess--the knight, alive somehow?-- about the three of you, and god, why does that seem even worse than the texting your mom alternative.
The day continues on like that. You and Kris and Susie talk and now you’ve two partners, and no, they don’t smoke weed, though they likely would if they could. Your sibling teases you, saying it should have seen this coming. You are happy, you guess, though god you want out of hometown and your partners agree.
Your day ends like most days recently: sleeping on top of your bedcovers, curled up, but now you get to text your partners before bed--god you cannot wait to sleep cuddled together every night. You hear your sister playing it’s guitar, and it lull’s you softly to sleep.
--the end