Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Caffine, Small talk:

Taking a deep breath to calm any remaining nerves, Ben settles himself onto the lone bean bag that he had found in the cafe. The address was sent to him by Adam, who he had met at a party in New York for the American Bystander and they immediately hit it off. Despite being more inclined to stay inside and play on his switch than going to a work party of all things, it was enjoyable, mainly because of Adam. Enjoyable enough that they had made plans to meet at this cozy cafe in Downtown Manhattan, and talk about potentially doing a writing piece together. Even though Ben was 10 minutes early, Adam arrived not a minute later. Almost as if Ben had sensed the other man’s presence, his eyes snap up to meet the other’s as he walks in through the door. Whether it’s the smile directed at him or the simplicity of Adam’s outfit (jeans and a Yale sweatshirt), this feels a lot more intimate than Ben had planned for. He places his stuff down with a quick hello, before going up to the counter to order… nothing but a tall iced Americano. 

Ben snorts, which ticks a muscle in Adam's jaw as he turns to face the other brunet.

“Finding something funny over there, Ben?” There’s a teasing lilt to his voice, so Ben knows this is all in good fun. 

“Your order is spoken like a true New Yorker. Running on nothing other than caffeine and water.” 

Adam scoffs, then nods to Ben’s own cup of coffee. “Like you can say anything with your sugary monstrosity over there.”

Unfortunately Adam had a point, considering Ben’s latte could be understandably confused for a coffee flavored milkshake by how much cream he put in. “What can I say, I think better with copious amounts of sugar at 8:00 in the morning.”

Once Adam has his coffee in hand, he sits down opposite Ben on a comfortable leather armchair, laptop open and ready to go. He sends Ben another smile, asking “Well, let’s get started?” 

Wait out the plastic weather, discussing current events.

As time goes by, the two brunets spend more and more time with one another. It wasn’t uncommon to find Ben at Adam’s house or vice versa, coming up with ideas for their writing, and they often visited restaurants or cafes with each other. While everything was kept strictly professional, Ben could slowly see the connection he and Adam were forming. He had even started wearing some of his more eccentric pieces of clothing around Adam, and was filled with happiness every time his newfound friend complimented him on his sense of style. 

When Adam had met Sam, Ben paid no mind, still focused on his college education. He figured Adam was just trying to do some more networking, which was an excellent thing to do when you were just graduating. And it eventually worked out, because Adam was hired by Sam as a full time writer for his YouTube channel. Adam excitedly shares the news with Ben at their next meetup, this time at a bar in Brooklyn, who is really happy to see his friend’s abilities come to fruition at this new job. Almost too happy, because he can feel his stomach doing cartwheels at the smile on Adam’s face. Due to listening to Adam talk, Ben could do nothing but sip at his Long Island iced tea and nod along, so his drink contained considerably less liquid than his friend’s. “Maybe it’s just the alcohol…”  Ben hopes, but even before tonight he’s been feeling different around Adam, noticing things that a casual observer wouldn’t take note of. That look of intense concentration Adam gets when he’s focused. Certain inflections in his voice whenever Adam is particularly excited about something. All those moments that Adam and he spent together, when Adam’s attention was on Ben and Ben alone, and that any sort of physical contact between them sent Ben’s heart racing. 

“You alright buddy?” A soft touch from Adam on his arm alerted Ben to look up at him. A concerned glance was being directed at Ben, and it felt good knowing that Adam was worried about him, that the other man cared about his well-being.  

“I’m good, great even.” Ben shoots his friend a reassuring smile, beginning to take another sip of his drink. As Adam launches into another anecdote about his new job, Ben’s mind couldn't be further from the conversation, too busy soaking up Adam’s presence. 

I take, my time, I'm not the forward thinker:

Despite all of his thoughts at the bar that night, Ben still didn’t realize his affections for Adam had passed platonic. At least, not until they were working together at Ben’s apartment. They were brainstorming ideas for their website, which was a project sprung onto them by Ben’s mentor, Michael Berber,  from the American Bystander. Ben had enthusiastically accepted, because any time spent with Adam was time well spent, and it seems like Adam agreed. Right now, Ben was lounging on his couch, prepping the basic design of the site, and Adam was standing at the kitchen counter. 

“What color scheme are we thinking? Any ideas?” he asked, picking his head up to look at Adam. 

“With your awesome sense of style, I feel like that’d be your expertise. But maybe try complementary colors, like red and green, to make it pop, yknow. Give it a little, pizzazz.” He even made jazz hands to emphasize the "pizazz", and in hindsight was actually quite adorable.

Ben appreciates how Adam managed to give compliments while also giving in his input, one of the reasons Ben loves to work with him. Among other things, like his energy, care for Ben’s well being, and sincerity when it comes to most, if not all aspects of their relationship. To himself, he jokingly thinks about how these are things one might want in a partner rather than a coworker. The statement hits harder than it should, causing Ben to stop his web design for now and really analyze how he thinks about Adam, ignoring how this might be detrimental with him in the same room. He comes to a conclusion right as Adam heads over to the couch to check on Ben’s progress. With the other man leaning over his shoulder, close proximity combined with his groundbreaking observation makes everything almost worse. This observation being, of course, I want him. 

I’ve got a crush on Adam Chase. 

You read, my mind:

After this little revelation, everything changes. Well, not exactly. He and Adam still meet up from time to time, whether it be for their new project or for the sake of hanging out. It’s more of an internal change, because Ben cannot for the life of him figure out how to handle this new dynamic between them. For instance, a mutual friend had invited both of them to a dinner party, and they agreed. Ben was told it would be fancier than a normal Applebees or something, so Ben had thrown on a decently nice blue and white striped shirt, with matching blue shorts. Hell, he’d even put on a chain, which was not something he’d normally reach for, but he was feeling adventurous tonight. 

When arriving at the restaurant, he meets up with his friends for the dinner party, but he only has eyes for Adam. Adam, who is looking unfairly hot in a black polo and khaki shorts. He’s exchanged his usual glasses for sunglasses, emanating an effortlessly cool demeanor that Ben wishes he had right now. It doesn’t help that Adam decided to give Ben a heart attack by smiling softly at the other brunette, taking him from hot to breathtakingly beautiful. 

The group made their way into the restaurant, their mutual friend raving about the specialty seafood dishes that this restaurant was famous for. Ben would have asked for more details, if not for Adam murmuring in his ear, “Seafood? Please, we didn’t make an effort to look this good for a simple seafood boil.”

Ben had blushed at his words, then immediately felt stupid for looking too deep into an off-hand comment. At the table, Adam sits across from Ben, something Ben is very grateful for because he doesn’t think he can handle close proximity without imploding on the spot. To save face, Ben begins to talk to his friends, asking them how they’ve been and if they’ve decided what they wanted from the menu. His attempts of finding a balance between socializing like a proper adult and battling with his love sick heart are going fine so far. Yet he still finds himself heading into the restroom, too distracted by Adam’s existence to keep still. He wonders if he’s going crazy, because he could have sworn he felt eyes on him from Adam while he was talking, but he always seems to be looking at the menu when Ben looks over to check. 

Keep it together man, these aren’t appropriate thoughts to be having about a friend, he tells himself through the mirror. 

But you don’t want to be just friends, his mind unhelpfully suggests, leading him to think about all kinds of other scenarios where he and Adam were more. They could have been going to this restaurant on a date, just the two of them, before going home and holding hands in the back of an Uber. Or sharing a meal between the two of them, one that they had made together in Adam’s tiny kitchen. Ben could almost taste Adam’s phenomenal cooking, imagine them sitting across from each other and sharing such a heartfelt moment. None of it was real though, and Ben splashes water on his face to rid himself of these delusions. (At least until he’s back in his lonely apartment, free to daydream all he wants.) Ben knew he was running out of chances and time to confess, with Adam flourishing in his new job, and him still working on his degree.

Soon after, Adam was heading off to St. Helena, a tiny remote island off the coast of Africa, to film a documentary with his new boss. 

Better to leave it unsaid; why can't I leave it unsaid?:

Ben wouldn’t want to ruin Adam’s trip with a spontaneous confession, but it’s so hard not to when Adam looks so radiant and excited to go to this awesome island. Most of him is excited for his friend, for this new opportunity. But a part of him, one that Ben would rather never bake anything again than admit to having, was jealous. Jealous that Adam was getting so excited to go somewhere this far away, isolated from New York, and from Ben. Exposing the emotional turmoil from Adam leaving was not an option, so he bottles it up, electing to keep quiet. He didn’t even go to the airport to see Adam off, too scared that if he saw Adam get on the plane with a stranger, he wouldn’t be able to resist saying something stupid, like 'I want to kiss you'.

It ends up being the worst week of Ben’s life. Worse than finals week where he had procrastinated  on all of his college work and had to pull multiple consecutive all nighters. Worse than the week after that where he went to a bunch of post finals celebratory parties and was drunk probably every other night. Worse than- you get it. It didn’t help that everything that Ben did could be connected back to Adam. Getting coffee in the morning reminded Ben of their first meeting. Looking in his closet and seeing that blue and white outfit reminded Ben of the night at the seafood restaurant. Hell, even working on new articles was difficult when Ben was so used to asking Adam questions and to review his work. It was endless pining and suffering, those glimpses of what they could be, followed up by the punishing reality of their friendship. At the end of Hell week, as he nicknamed it, Ben had decided. He couldn’t continue to live like this, alone with memories and questions and longing. He was going to confess, for better or for worse.

Chapter Text

You know I talk too much, honey come put your lips on mine to shut me up:

His plans to profess his undying affection for Adam were … unsuccessful. He had planned to meet Adam at the airport, help him get home and do the confession there, in Adam’s apartment. There was a speech that Ben had memorized, which he knew he was going to forget anyway, but it’s the thought that counts. If things went south, hopefully Adam would be too tired of taking multiple, long and annoying flights to remember Ben making a fool of himself, and he could escape to his own lodgings and bake his heart out, to forget the pain of rejection.

However, flight delay after flight delay kept Adam in Africa for a whole other day, (Ben had asked his friend for updates on getting home, which Adam was dutifully supplying), leaving Ben another night to anxiously go over his plan. The next day when Ben arrived at Laguardia airport bright and early, going so far as to buy breakfast for the two of them, Adam was already there. His friend was chatting with two other guys, one blonde and one with light brown hair. He didn’t get a good look at them before the strangers were waving goodbye to Adam and heading off into the rest of the expansive airport. Taking a deep breath to bolster his bravery, Ben approaches Adam, calling out his name like a lifeline. 

Whatever measly preparations that Ben had put together weren’t enough. They were never going to be enough to resist Adam’s smile, his disheveled hair, or the newly acquired tan from the African sun. If that wasn’t enough, Adam pulls the other brunette into a staggering hug, surrounding Ben with his scent. It was like having drugs after a month sober, fixing every withdrawal symptom with physical contact. Ben was drunk on the feel of Adam around him, overwhelmed by the sudden touch when just the other night all he had to rely on were faint memories.

When they sat down for a bite to eat, Adam had talked Ben’s ear off about the trip, his new boss Sam, (the blonde that Ben had seen before), and the video that they had created for Wendover. Instead of enthusiastically nodding along and asking questions like he normally would, Ben stayed quiet, jealousy ripping through him once more. All in all, something needed to change soon if Ben wasn’t going to spend forever pining after his friend. Nothing was going to plan that day, and he just wanted to get this stupid confession, along with his inevitable rejection, over with. The pair had finally made it to Adam’s apartment building, when Adam had the audacity to mention Sam’s name again, for the fiftieth time that morning. Rather impulsively, Ben drops the two suitcases that he offered to carry, places one hand on Adam’s waist and another in his hair, before kissing him like he longed to do ever since he first spotted Adam in the airport. 

We can blame it all on human nature:

Stay cool it's just a kiss; why do you gotta be so talkative?:

If the week that Ben had spent alone was hell, then this was heaven. The kiss was gentle yet intense, perfect in every way possible. Ben softly moves his lips against Adam’s in rhythm with his racing heart. Eventually, when they separate for air, Ben’s paralyzed with fear, struggling to comprehend what just happened. It had felt so right, but what now? Adam comes to his senses, tugging Ben along with him into his apartment, and closing the door behind both of them. 

Ben’s heart is going for a completely different reason than before, utterly terrified of what Adam will say next. Will he kick Ben out? Never talk to him again? Or, and Ben hopes this is right, maybe Adam wants him just as much as he wants Adam.

Overwhelmed by this anticipation and silence in the apartment, Ben starts spouting apologies. “I’m so so sorry, I should have asked first, hell I shouldn’t have done that at all, please forgive me-“ His thoughts are similar, berating himself for being impulsive, for not sticking to the plan. It’s one freaking kiss, why are you losing your cool? This spiral continues, at least until Adam speaks up.

“Can I kiss you again?” 

“Wait, what?” Ben was so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even registered the other brunet. Adam had come closer, and tentatively placed a hand on Ben’s cheek, brushing against the same stubble that he felt while kissing Ben. 

“Ben, it’s okay. I want to kiss you, and I really want to date you, if you’ll have me.” The physical contact and the nerves clear in Adam’s voice helped to confirm that this was real, and not just some fever dream that Ben’s crush-addled brain had come up with. Adam really wanted him back, no unrequited feelings.

In response, Ben places his forehead on Adam’s own, whispering “Yes, of course I’ll date you, silly,” Before meeting Adam’s lips with his own once more.

Chapter Text

You know, my type:

It had been a full 6 months of dating Adam. 6 months of bliss, but also stress, trying to figure out how to date people like an actual adult. He was 23 for god’s sake, he should know how to settle into a real relationship, not like the various one offs that he had in the years leading up to his 20’s. It’s always the little things that Ben struggles with, but Adam takes them in stride, actively listening to Ben’s random, unhinged thoughts, linking their arms together when they are out in public, and even letting Ben fall asleep on his lap during their movie nights. The affection and support was overwhelming, but in the best way possible. 

However, this 6 months has also been a time of turmoil, in terms of Ben getting a good, stable job. His major in Literary arts means that there weren’t that many opportunities for someone like him, and it was starting to wear Ben down. In a last ditch attempt, Ben asked Adam if Sam, his boss, was willing to take on another writer, or at the very least an intern, to which Adam replied “Sure?” And with that, Ben emails Sam about working at Wendover, and crosses his fingers that maybe, just maybe, things will work out. 

He got his answer not even a week later which was, surprisingly, an affirmative. Another week goes by, with Ben chipping away at a script for Half As Interesting. He just polishes off that project before he’s being contacted by Sam again. Apparently, he’s been invited to shoot a documentary in Alaska? As someone whose only been with the company for a week, he feels incredibly underqualified to be shipped all the way across the continent so soon. At least Adam is going as well. The two of them make plans to fly out that week, and Ben mentally prepares to meet this elusive boss of his, and see the company for himself, rather than through Adam’s eyes. 

Seeing Sam and his crew for the first time at the airport in Ketchikan was interesting to say the least. It was his first time meeting these people in person, or really meeting them at all. So far he’s been working only one week from the comfort of his own apartment, not needing to even think about being social, and now he’s in an airport surrounded by mostly strangers. It was clear that Adam already had a semblance of a connection with the others though, leading Ben to feel out of place and quite daunted with the task of meeting and working with so many new people. They were all waiting for someone named Graham to arrive before walking to the hotel, meaning everyone else was chilling and catching up. As he watches all the others talk, Ben finds himself getting worked up over all the uncertainties that come with his new job. 

What if he does something stupid and ruins the show? What if everyone hates his eccentric personality and starts leaving him out of the loop on purpose? What if Sam decides that he isn’t good enough, and fires him while they are still in Alaska? What if he disappoints Adam? What if-

“Hey! You’re Ben, right? ” 

Startled at the new voice, Ben whips his head around to face… Sam? He thinks the blonde next to him was Sam, based on the descriptors that he got from Adam. What Adam failed to mention was how tall Sam was, even when the both of them were sitting, which just made Ben feel even more cornered.

”Yep, that’s me, how can I help you?” 

Sam shrugs, long fingers playing with a loose thread on the seat. “I just wanted to ask how the flight over here was. You came here with Adam, right?”

“Yes…? You do realize I’m just an intern, there’s no need for all this small talk and stuff.” Okay, maybe that wasn’t the nicest thing that Ben has ever said, but he just came out of a long ass flight and was immediately thrown into a stressful social situation, he wasn’t exactly thinking with niceties in mind. 

The taller’s wince was almost enough for Ben to feel guilt over the harshness of his words, and it definitely made Sam lose any confidence that he might have had. Sam then explained “I know, but I felt really bad for pulling you all the way out here, when you’ve barely even started. We definitely threw you into the deep end right away, and for that I’m sorry. But I can see you clearly want to be left alone, so I’ll just go now-“ Sam would have fled the scene, and while some vindictive and petty part of him wanted to let the other man go, most of Ben felt sympathetic toward him, seeing as he’s been in similar circumstances before. 

Ben does the first thing that comes to mind and snatches Sam’s wrist, before saying his own apology for his rudeness. He hopes it won’t come to bite him later. “I’m sorry too, it’s just been a long day, and while this is the deep end for sure, I know you probably wouldn’t have brought me out here if you had a choice. Meeting new people isn’t a strong suit of mine, especially now, so I’m sorry if I come off as a little passive aggressive. How about we just agree that we’re both sorry and start over.” 

Looking very relieved, Sam nods, before clearing his throat and describing what exactly they would be doing in Alaska for the week. Ben was beginning to get excited about the whole ordeal, and basked in the good vibes that Sam emanated whenever he talked about this special project. 

Their hotel was a quaint bed and breakfast, thankfully located near the airport. Ben’s spirits weren’t doing so hot, but the fact that his and Adam’s room had two beds had managed to get a snort out of Ben. After showering and getting ready for sleep, Ben finds Adam calmly arranging pillows on one of the beds, and he decides to give in to his clingy-ness by collapsing on top of the bed and his partner. They had fallen asleep like that, tangled up with one another. The next morning, Sam had woken everyone up for an early morning hike. Needless to say, this was not a pleasant development for any of them, and especially in the rough and rugged terrain in Ketchikan. The rest of them sleepily pulled on their coats and ate breakfast, all the while Sam raved about how fun this would be, or the team bonding that they would all receive. When Ben asked Adam if this was normal for Sam, all he got was a fond head nod. Not very helpful in explaining how this little trail was two freaking miles. In Ben’s opinion that was two too many, and that didn’t even account for having to walk back the same two miles, or that the change in elevation was something insane, like 200 feet. Ben was sure this was the universe’s way of telling him he was not cut out for this job, yet he went anyway because of Sam being his boss and whatnot. If Ben was even the smallest bit swayed by Adam’s begging to go with him, that’s his and his boyfriend’s business, no one else’s. He had to admit though, the fresh air of early morning in Alaska was really refreshing, and the fact that most of the crew went up ahead meant that he and Adam got to hang out in the back alone. Ben leans into Adam for support, while intertwining their hands. He’s looking down to focus on where he’s stepping, not wanting to take an embarrassing tumble in front of everyone else, so he doesn’t notice the taller’s slight laughter. 

“Hanging in there buddy?” Adam asks, as he tucks a piece of Ben’s curly hair into his hat. Ben breathes in his familiar scent, then retorts, “Barely. I didn’t think my job as an intern would involve long nature walks, and you didn’t even warn me!” 

“Sorry Ben, I’ll do better next time. Is there anything else you want me to warn you about?”

“Can you just tell me more about Sam and everyone else?” When Adam looked confused, Ben said quickly “I dunno- maybe just more about them, their personalities and interests? I feel like I’m going into this blind, and I know how excited you were when I got this job, I don’t wanna mess up and disappoint you.” With every word his voice became smaller and smaller, so by the time he finished, Adam was having to strain his ears to listen. 

“You don’t have to worry about disappointing me, Ben, “ he said firmly. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you have to be perfect. I guess I might have gotten ahead of myself in my enthusiasm. Having you as a part of Wendover was more than I could ask for, but I pulled some strings and asked Sam to include you in this documentary. Being thrown into a big project like this, especially when you’ve just started, must have been nerve-wracking, I’m really sorry.”

Feeling marginally more relieved than before, Ben responded “Thank you, I think I needed that. Like you said, being part of something this early is really scary, and I don’t know anyone here, so it’s… rough.” It meant a lot to Ben that Adam felt like he deserved to be in such a project, that Adam trusted him enough to involve him in these important matters. 

“I knew that your ideas and creativity would fit the style of the videos so well, and researching wacky shit is something you do at home, for fun.” Adam says, rolling his eyes at the other brunette. They continue to chat, and Ben jokes that he’s quitting if Sam makes them do any more hikes. His partner laughs, loud and clear in the crisp forest air. He pushes Ben forward jokingly, telling him to get to know his boss more. 

Ben takes the advice, heading over to where Sam is leading the pack. Conversation with Sam surprisingly wasn’t as stilted or uncomfortable as Ben would have thought. Obviously not as effortless as spending time with his boyfriend, yet Ben finds himself bonding with Sam in ways he didn’t expect. Their conversation focuses on the hike, with Ben poking fun at Sam’s willingness to tire himself out, and Sam retorting how the other man needs to get out more. Over the course of the walk, the distance between them got smaller and smaller, both metaphorically and physically, because they had somehow linked their arms as a joke. When they did however, Ben couldn’t help but let out a silent gasp. You wouldn’t know it just by looking at the man, but Sam’s arms were quite solid, and with every step the duo took, his muscles flexed under Ben’s fingertips. Ben couldn’t focus with the gentle feeling of Sam’s fingers hooked onto his own arm either, even through the thick fabric of his coat, so much that he didn’t even notice they were still talking. Registering the cadence of Sam’s voice stopping, Ben realizes that he’s waiting for his input and hurriedly says the first thing that comes to mind. “Oh, yeah okay. That sounds good.” 

Pulling his focus from Sam’s arms to his face, he notices that the other looks concerned and confused. “Are you okay Ben? I was asking about your apartment back in New York, but if you don’t want to talk I-”

“No! Sam, I’m fine, really, I was just thinking of how pretty the scenery was.” And how pretty you are, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t considered something normal to say to your boss, that you also just met the other day. 

While working, Ben didn’t get to spend as much time with Sam as he would have liked, but it made sense considering the disparity between their different jobs. Fortunately, the entire group of writers, photographers and other crew members often got together for dinner at the end of each work day. They often used this time to share progress on the documentary, which at the time, the working title was “Alaska’s Silent Summer.” (Ben was very proud to say that he came up with the name, and struggled not to mention this fact every time someone used his title.) It also meant that he got to interact with his coworkers in a less stressful setting, to learn about their various skills and lives, realizing that they weren’t as scary or intimidating that he first made them out to be. More importantly, these nightly get-togethers allowed him to get closer to one particular blonde, whom he was already starting to harbor further than platonic feelings for. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his boyfriend, and couldn’t imagine a life without Adam there as his lifeline. 

That being said, this pull that Ben feels toward Sam is different then the one that he felt toward Adam, but still quite similar. With his boyfriend, Ben gradually fell in love with him, his laughter and smile, his ability to understand Ben like no one else. Yet Sam, oh Sam was different. Maybe it’s the rather intimidating height difference. Maybe it’s the subtle strength that he exudes, or the softness of his blonde hair and the way it frames Sam’s blue eyes. Ben couldn’t help himself from being attracted to the other man, even if it was all sorts of wrong.

Chapter Text

I can't keep holding my breath; new wave, no time:

Okay, so maybe he was overreacting. After returning home from Alaska, with lots of well wishes and promises to visit from the other crew members, and his sudden awakening of liking another guy, Ben feverishly started researching anything on the subject. It turns out that polyamory exists, and that Ben fits the description (that google provided) like a glove. He decides to not reveal this new revelation about his sexuality to Adam, even though that probably breaks some relationship rule, but at the time it seemed like the right idea. Keeping the secret only got harder and harder, as Ben graduated to working full time at Wendover, writing scripts, going on calls with Sam and Adam to discuss video ideas, and developing wonderful friendships with those he worked with, including Sam. From the multiple semi-educational channels that Sam owns and runs, it’s hard to believe that he’s anything but the charismatic and successful entrepreneur that he comes across as to the public. Lucky for him, Ben gets to experience the real Sam, and while he can be very awkward and shy occasionally, so are Ben and Adam, which makes them a great trio. 

Oh god, even his subconscious thoughts had picked up on the fact that they were a trio? 

Anyways, Ben was fully aware of his feelings and all the ramifications that came with them. However, there wasn't much Ben could do about it when, one, he already has  a darling boyfriend whom he loves, and two, his crush is also his boss. At least this time making his adoration known wasn’t limited only by Ben’s hyperactive and paranoid imagination. He couldn’t do anything about it because he literally didn’t know how to bring it up. He doesn’t know which one is worse. 

There’s no time anyway, since he was super busy with the creation of Wendover’s new channel, a travel game show called Jet Lag: The Game. In preparation for this new, ingenious show, they had to record at least 2 seasons before putting up one episode, so they were working extremely hard over the span of a couple months. It was one thing to film the first season, which was an already stressful and arduous task, and another to edit it together, make all the motion graphics and generally polish it until it was the best it could possibly be. On the bright side, it meant spending lots more time with Adam, which Ben was taking advantage of, both in a work and personal sense. Since they designed the games and took on the most editing, they relied on one another a lot to check their work, often asking about different clips from the footage and where to insert  them into the video. On the not so bright side, there were plenty of sleepless nights, or times where the both of them had skipped meals entirely due to being too absorbed into their work. Tonight was a close call, the two of them nearly missing dinner before Ben had remembered and ordered some well-deserved midnight pizza. Adam was still working after they ate, posture hunched and eyes straining at the bright light emitting from his laptop. Ben was on one of his breaks, which were  definitely  increasing in frequency as time went on, and he was contemplating dragging his overworked boyfriend to sleep. He acted on this thought when he saw Adam trying to hide a yawn, going over to lay a hand on Adam’s shoulder. His concern only grew deeper as Adam flinched a little, revealing how much the lack of sleep had gotten to him.

“Adam, you’ve got to go to bed. You’re overworking yourself again.” 

The man in question shuddered, before leaning into the warm touch of his partner. Adam whined, “But Ben, we know the deadline. It’s coming up soon, and I need to get this done.” 

“It’s soon, not tomorrow.” Ben told him firmly, already dragging Adam to their shared bedroom. If he could pick up the stubbon man that he calls his partner, he would have already. “And anyways, I bet Sam would move the deadline if I told him that you were working yourself to death.” Ben pulled out his phone to do just that, then shoved Adam into the bathroom, along with a pair of sleepwear.  Then, his phone pinged, telling him that Sam had responded. 

Ben: Adam’s overworking himself to death again

The Plane Enthusiast: oh no, is there anything I can do to help? 

Ben: Yes, can u move the deadline to around 3 hrs later? That should be enough to finish the episode and actually sleep. 

The Plane Enthusiast: Knowing the workaholics that we have working on this show, I'm just going to make it due that night instead of that afternoon.

Ben: Thanks Sam, ur the best :D

It didn’t escape Ben’s notice that the quick reply time meant Sam was also up, but he figured that he’d deal with him later. Once Adam was actually sleeping, (don’t worry, he triple checked) he went to their kitchen to clean up from dinner, but not before sending the other workaholic another message. 

Ben: I know u aren’t sleeping either, mister. Call me so I can convince u to go to bed. 

Soon enough, Sam had FaceTimed, the screen changing to show Sam in a familiar position, hunched over his desk and staring at a computer screen. His clothes were wrinkled, and Ben could see how sluggish his movements were, how deeply the toll of too many long work days and nights had affected the blonde. Ben couldn’t help but sigh, asking the universe why he cared about these overworked dumbasses so much. 

“Not you too.” Ben shakes his head, heading to the kitchen to make a dent in the mess he and Adam left from dinner. “Did you at least eat something? And don’t you even think of lying to me.” 

Either Ben has gotten good at intimidating his friends, or Sam was too tired to argue, because he admitted that he hadn't eaten for a while. At least Sam was coherent enough to go to his own kitchen, knowing that Ben was going to nag him to eat something. While Sam had started on a random banana he found in his fridge, Ben was finishing cleaning up the kitchen, and impulsively decided on a cup of calming tea. If this decision had anything to do with not leaving Sam, Ben was blaming that on his generosity and kindness. The water had just finished boiling when Sam piped up, his voice breaking the relative quiet of the night. 

“Ben?” The brunet hummed a response, focusing on staying awake and being here for his friend, and also not pouring boiling hot water all over his hand.

“What if this was all for nothing?” Sam whispers. He’s curled up in his chair, staring at something that Ben couldn’t see through the phone screen. Suddenly, he continues, voice growing more and more anxious. “We’re putting all of our effort, all of our time and resources into this one project, and we don’t even know if it’ll get a good response? Adam’s suffering because of it, and he’s probably not the only one with all the tight deadlines. But the worst part is, I can’t guarantee that this will work, that people will like something new. And if they don’t, it’s all going to be my fault.” 

Ben wants nothing more than to comfort Sam, to wrap him up in a hug and tell him everything will be alright. But logic and reasoning catch up to him, reminding him that booking a midnight flight to Aspen right now would be very irresponsible, if not impossible. So Ben does the best he can from Adam’s place in New York, pouring every ounce of conviction he has into his next words. 

“Well, we don’t know that for sure, Sam. All I know is that we’re going to make this our best work yet, and put it out there. I personally think it’s going to be a hit, who could resist team Ben and Adam?” Ben jokes, hoping to pry a laugh out of his despondent friend. When he doesn’t get one, Ben continues, this time with a more convincing tone. ”And if it doesn’t do well on the first try, it doesn’t mean the quality or the premise of the show is bad. It just means that we haven’t found our audience yet. So we keep going, posting our second, and hopefully third, season, and we wait for the people who are going to love it. ”

A few deep breaths and something that sounds suspiciously like sniffling comes from the speakers on his phone. It seems that this fear of Sam’s was bothering him for a while, and Ben’s happy to have alleviated some of Sam’s worries. There’s a bit of back and forth as Ben badgers Sam to go to sleep, and eventually he’s successful, because Sam wishes both him and Adam goodnight and leaves the FaceTime. 

Ben arrives in their shared bedroom, being as quiet as possible to not wake up his boyfriend. It doesn't matter though, because Adam sits up in bed, not even pretending to be asleep. 

“Is Sam okay?”, and though the room was so dark that Ben couldn’t see his concern, he heard it well enough in the strain of Adam’s voice. 

It didn’t surprise him really. Adam had always been the caretaker of their little trio, the one who is always there if you need him. In fact, the times that their roles were reversed like this had become scarce, so Ben was happy to make it up to him. 

“I hope he is now. He was having doubts about the show, if the public is going to like it or if it's going to do well. I don’t blame him honestly, starting something completely new from what we already do at Wendover is terrifying, especially for Sam.” 

Adam nodded solemnly, then moved over to make space for his partner. As Ben was making himself comfortable enough to fall asleep, Adam whispered one last question.

“What would you do if I booked a flight to Aspen right now?”

Ben merely chuckled, leaning over to place a soft kiss on Adam’s stubbled cheek. 

“I’d get the seat right next to you.”

Chapter Text

Red velvet under pressure; Blah, Blah, green eyes:

The brunet smiles as he scrolls through the comments on the finale of season two of Jet Lag The Game. Many people had left comments on how underrated their show was, that they loved the game design, or referencing funny clips from the video. Ben tilted the phone in Sam’s direction, then laughed at the bashful smile that appeared on the other man’s face. 

“I told you, we had nothing to worry about Sam. People love our show, because of all the blood sweat and tears we put into it.”

Sam laughs, leaning back on the train seats. “You’re right, you’re always right Ben.” 

At the time, the two of them were on a train to Paris, hoping to either catch Adam or prevent him from getting out of the city. Ben starts his intro for the camera, saying “ So here’s kind of a weird thing…” 

Until that train came out of nowhere and scared the living daylights out of him. 

“Oh that was so scary! That was so scary, does that happen?” Ben exclaims, while Sam laughs hard at Ben's reaction. 

Sam’s explosive laughter only makes the fluttery feeling in Ben’s stomach grow, and even though it terrifies him, he plans to make the most out of his friendship with Sam, any other desires thrown to the wind. At the end of the day, he can’t keep the denial at bay for long, as images of their past round together keep him second-guessing. Maybe it was the fact that they were in Paris, known for being the city of love, or Ben’s delusions had turned into full on hallucinations. But he couldn’t forget the lingering touches from the blonde as the two of them crossed the street, or the smiles that were a little too soft to be considered just platonic. 

The next day, Adam is finally caught at Massy-Palaiseau. Ben can already feel the nerves begin to ramp up for his next turn as a runner, but when Sam spots the google street view car, he couldn’t help the urge to pose with his boyfriend. As he reaches up to place a kiss on Adam’s cheek, Ben isn’t sure if he’s imagining things or not because Sam tenses up and averts his eyes, which Ben knows for sure is Sam’s version of pouting. There isn’t much time to think about it, because soon it’s time for Ben to start running away from the chasers to goodness knows where. But even the exhilaration of starting a new run isn’t enough to shake the nagging feeling of loneliness he gets when leaving Sam and Adam alone. 

I never leave it unsaid; Why can't I leave it unsaid?:

Oh well, Ben never expected to get out of Brussels before the day ended, and while he would have liked to take advantage of the many trains leaving in the morning, he’s glad that he can spend some one on one quality time with Adam. Their 45 minute freeze period is spent planning the potential routes of Sam, but also talking about their time as taggers with the blonde. 

“I will say, he definitely knows how to stay focused, and that really helped when I was freaking out about you escaping from Saint- Quentin.” Adam mentions while looking up from his phone. “By the way, did I mention how impressed I was when you pulled that off? I know we were on different teams, but I was rooting for you.”

Ben blushes, bashfulness making him ramble even more. “Well, if it wasn’t for watching Sam strategize and learning how he thinks, I would have take the other train to-“ 

“Wait a minute.” Adam’s eyes light up, and a curious smirk appears on his face. “You wouldn’t be talking about Sam this much if he wasn’t on your mind, right? I suspected as much for a while, but just wanted to confirm.” The brunette leans in, as if to share a precious secret, and Ben does as well, eager to hear what has Adam so excited. 

“You want him, don’t you?”

Ben freezes, rendered speechless by the various emotions barreling through him. Nervous laughter escapes him, echoing through the nearly empty train station. Thankfully, Sam arrives to ask about a challenge specification before he is able to respond. They were too busy filming this sudden interaction for the show, and trying to get an appropriate amount of distance between them without it being too obvious. Ben had never been so happy to ask Sam if he wanted to touch him. 

Unfortunately though, the moment passes with Sam elbowing Ben, (ow, that hurt) so Adam is back to waiting for a response from his boyfriend. He tries to play it off, asking what they were talking about again, but Adam just gets a bigger smirk on his face and raises an eyebrow. 

Silence is golden; And you've got my hopes up:

Words of denial immediately rise to the tip of his tongue, but he thinks better of straight up lying to his partner. Adam deserves a true response, even if he doesn’t like what he hears. The longer he looks at Adam’s expectant expression, the more doubts creep to the front of his mind. It’s probably the stuff of relationship nightmares, having to admit that you have a crush on someone else, right to your significant other’s face. Something you would only see in some trashy romcom, where the main characters get into a big misunderstanding so bad it makes you want to turn off the TV. But no, he refuses to think this could end their relationship over something as small as this. The trust that Ben placed in his boyfriend of a whole year has to mean something, right? No time like the present to find out.

”Okay. You’re right. I… do have feelings for Sam. I’m sorry.” As soon as the incriminating words leave his lips, Ben feels tears come to his eyes, and he has to inconspicuously wipe them away. The mere chance that Adam will leave him, when they still have to play this game, and potentially have to navigate a terribly awkward situation at the same time, is an awful feeling. 

“I understand if you don’t-” “Let’s go, I definitely called it!”

The two of them stare at one another in silence, Ben’s hopes rising with every passing second. 

We talk too much; No hesitation; What are we waiting for?

We talk too much!:

Adam’s shoulders sag as he takes in Ben’s upset appearance. He chuckles, hands reaching out to comfort the other brunet. 

“Oh Ben, I thought you knew as well. I also have a crush on Sam.” It’s impressive how Adam manages to say that without flinching, but before Ben could question Adam’s words, he continues saying “It’s not that I don’t love you, every day is a reminder of why I fell for you, how lucky I am to wake up and call you mine. And yet, I don’t think my life would be complete without Sam. While I can’t speak for you, there’s something more than platonic feelings when I think about him. What is it like for you?” 

Those words coming from Adam healed a tumultuous part of Ben’s mind, all the fears and self-hatred that he had when he realized he liked another man. This overwhelming relief nearly made the tears start anew, but he managed to give an answer.

“Well, it started when we first met in person, in Alaska. Obviously he’s attractive, but I thought it was just admiring someone for their looks. And I was pretty head over heels for you, so I didn’t have anyone else in mind.” Ben released a sigh, letting his eyes slip close. “ I remember going into an absolute panic over the fact that I had these thoughts about Sam, especially when we were already dating. As we kept working together, I realized there was more to him than his looks, and it all snowballed from there.”

Adam was quick to agree, aggressively nodding his head to Ben’s statement. “Same! When I was recently hired, and then did that shoot in Helena with him, I didn’t think I’d survive that much proximity to someone so fine. It’s probably correlated to how athletic he is, but he’s so strong. Not just in the physical sense either, the way he handles business so confidently is the reason why I attend those boring meetings. And have you heard him speak french? Holy s***.”

“I couldn't agree more.” That night, they spent hours just talking about what they admired in Sam, kicking their feet and giggling like school children with a crush. Ben had brought up the possibility of Sam joining their relationship, which sobered them up and resulted in a serious conversation of what they were to do going forward, what they wanted from their relationship and more. Luckily, Adam was totally onboard with the idea of the three of them being in a throuple. The only problem was, how were they supposed to bring this up to Sam? 

“Let’s make a deal.” Ben said, placing his hand out in front of him like he was about to make the business deal of the century. “Whoever wins this season of Jet Lag pops the question and asks Sam to join our relationship. Right after we film the outro, in whatever random European place we end up. Deal?”

Adam’s eyes met his, and his gaze contained the same magnitude of emotions that Ben felt. They both realized the implications of this agreement, what it could create, but also destroy at the same time. It was the turning point of many potential futures, whether they ended up together, or ended up broken and apart. Yet, Ben hoped the mutual blossoming desire to deepen their connection with Sam was enough to throw caution to the wind. 

Instead of taking the offered hand, Adam kissed him then, deeply and passionately. It seems Ben’s excitement of where this agreement could take them was shared. When Adam detached himself from Ben’s lips, he whispered “You have a deal, buddy.”

Chapter Text

YOU KNOW I TALK TOO MUCH!

Honey come put your lips on mine to shut me up!

We can blame it all on human nature,

Stay cool it's just a kiss, so

why do you gotta be so talkative?

I talk too much, We talk too much!:

‘3 miles? 3 miles!' That’s all it took for Adam to snatch the win right out from under him, which drove Sam absolutely crazy. Something else that was bothering him more than he’d like to admit was that Adam and Ben were conspiring and whispering to each other behind him. The three of them were making their way back to the Champagne-Ardenne train station, from all the way out in the countryside, and they couldn’t even stick together? No, the two lovebirds had to have their own private moment, probably Ben congradulating Adam for winning the season, filled with sweetness and sentementality. Besides, if they were even talking about the season, Sam would at least like to be present for the conversation. 

“What are y’all talking about hmm?” Sam turned around on his heel, now walking backwards as he observed his travel companions. They appeared startled, then very suspicious, as they shifted their stances and gave Sam matching nervous smiles. 

Ben says nothing, but pushes Adam forward, as if telling him to go ahead. Adam begins to speak, while fidgeting with the straps of his backpack. “It’s nothing crazy, but during the season, Ben and I talked about our goals and our hopes for our relationship. And we realized that we were missing something, or rather someone. Sam, you’re amazing. The hard work and passion you put into everything that you do, how caring and considerate you are, the way you’re able to provide balance and stability in any situation-“ 

“Not to mention how smart and gorgeous you are.” Ben smiles, interrupting Adam, and there’s genuine honesty in their words. They aren’t saying all this for shits and giggles. These are genuine and meaningful compliments, though the purpose behind them still eludes Sam. 

“You’ve been the answer to the question we didn’t know we had. Ummm… this might feel really out of pocket, and if you’re uncomfortable you can always just tell us to go fuck ourselves, but do you want to join our relationship? This is only if you want to of course, and it’s completely up to you…” 

Sam tunes out the rest of Adam’s flustered rambling, brain left short-circuiting as he stands in the middle of this random field, trying to process this information like a dusty computer from the 1980’s. Adam and Ben, his friends who have been dating for the longest time, suddenly want him to join their relationship? They had even gone so far as to talk about it, talk about him? The idea of it, though it makes Sam’s heart beat like crazy and his face feel incredibly hot, is absurd. There’s no way that the one thing he’d been wishing for, ever since he figured out his feelings toward the both of them at the end of Season 1, was going to come true, right?

Ben shakes his head fondly at the both of them, stopping Adam’s tirade. “What Adam is trying to say is that both of us like you romantically, and this is an official invitation to become boyfriends with us.”  

And there it was. The truth that Sam had been desperately hoping for since October last year was finally coming true. Unless… 

“Are you sure? That you both want me… like that?” He avoids eye contact while he talks, nerves making it impossible to meet their gazes. “I mean, it's not like I’m opposed to it, but I just want to make sure that it’s me, Sam Denby, that you’re looking to date. Also, it’s been so long, what changed? What happened to get to this point, maybe I’m too curious for my own good but-”

There’s a hand on his chin, forcing him to look down at Ben, who had planted himself right in front of the blonde. Ben was looking at him with an exasperated expression, though his eyes were trained onto his lips. 

“God, the both of you are such ramblers, talking wayyyyy too much. It’s now or never, Sam. Just… kiss me, for the love of God.” 

His first instinct was to look at Adam, who might be having second thoughts after watching his boyfriend ask to kiss another man. But no, while Adam looks like he’s going through several revelations at once, there isn’t a single negative emotion shown from him. With that last piece of reassurance, Sam lets himself lean forward. They meet halfway into the kiss, and the softness of Ben’s lips tears down any resistance that Sam might have left. Relief washes over him due to his dream becoming reality, and he melts into the kiss, moving their lips together in tandem before they inevitably break apart.  Yet, there’s still one more thing he has to do. 

Sam strides over to Adam with purpose, 

“Does this mean I can…” He swipes his thumb over Adam’s lips softly. 

“Please…” the brunet shivers at the touch, and a visual blush appears on his cheeks. This time, Sam initiates by bringing his mouth down to Adam’s, capturing his lips in a fast paced but passionate kiss. 

Ben appears at their sides, taking one of their hands in each of his own. His expression is the same as theirs, glowing with happiness and dazed that this is really happening. He searches for something to say, something to commiserate this momentous point in their relationship, but eventually just blurts out “ Y’all talk too much.” 

It’s a testament to their friendship how a couple words from Ben can make all three of them dissolve into laughter and giggles. They smile at each other, giddy, content, and so in love. Adoration is clear in every move they make, from the way Adam slides closer to Sam, and the way Ben takes their hands to tug them in the direction of society and home. 

Although Sam knows that here, at Ben and Adam’s side, he's already home.