Work Text:
You worked in accounts for an up and coming video game company and you enjoyed working, constantly working was the perfect pass time to think about other things, ironically you didn’t have other things to think about. The past was a brightly coloured blur and the future seemed to hold nothing rewarding, maybe a promotion or two at your job in C&A but nothing really monumental. You worked late and came in early, quickly becoming your boss’s favourite employee because of your work ethic, so you were unsurprised when you were given a promotion, what surprised you though, was your boss giving you a promotion gift. “Here take this promotion gift, it’s still in beta testing but it’s one of our new VR headsets that’ll be on the market soon” Your boss’s voice boomed out around the office.
“Thanks, but you didn’t have to get me a gift and anyways I find video games quite childish” You politely replied
“Oh go on take it you deserve a break anyway”
Not wanting to sound rude you accepted the gift and brought it back to your apartment, though just left to sit and collect dust in the corner of your bedroom for a few weeks continuing with what your coworkers would call ‘workaholic’ lifestyle. That was until Christmas, since the office was closed you were basically forced to stop working for at least 3 or 4 days, which you hated. With a sigh on Christmas morning you investigate the promotion gift you got almost 3 months ago now.
You open the box to find the headset was your favourite colour, what a happy coincidence, the headset was plastered with the company’s logo all over it, the headset smelling quite musky like it had been sitting in a warehouse way before you had acquired it, but the smell could be ignored. You notice how your name was carved into the side of the headset, maybe your boss had just wanted to make your promotion feel personalised… It was still a weird choice though. As you sat in your empty apartment you sighed to yourself feeling childish for even attempting to wear the headset but a small child-like part of you was really curious to find out what games were on there and how good or bad they were. So accepting your fate you set the headset onto your head.
The second you put the headset on you were transported to this place, this uncomfortably bright and colourful place. You stood still trying to regain your bearings and clawing at your face trying to take the headset off but it just wouldn’t come off. You soon noticed that there were other people in this space, so you stayed quite trying to not get noticed, you just wanted to get this headset off. Unluckily for you somehow you were noticed and a voice boomed from further in the circus.
“My all seeing eyes spy that a new member has joined the circus! But they’re not just any old member, no! They are one of our V.I.P’s, as you my dear friend, are wearing one of our premium headsets!”
“Where am I? I was… where was I? I put a stupid headset and now I can’t take it off… Would you guys be able to call tech support or something?.. Wait, that's a stupid idea you’re just video game characters… you probably can’t even understand what I’m saying” You ranted but then one of the characters, a small jester, replied.
“Actually we can understand you, you're trapped in here, we are players that also got trapped, well everyone here except Caine and Bubble” The jester pointed to the pair of floating teeth and the bubble beside it.
“Well [Y/N] you have entered ‘The Amazing Digital Circus’ a place where anything you can imagine is possible! I am the ringmaster of the Circus, my name is Caine! Any questions?”
“How do you know my name? And how do I leave?”
“I know your name because of the brand of headset you were wearing, it’s a newer type that lets you pick out your name before you play!” Caine paused before continuing “Why would you want to leave? You haven’t even gone on one adventure yet?”
Before you could reply a tall purple rabbit cockily chirped in “It’s not like you could leave anyway, like Pomni said we’re all trapped here… we can’t leave.” He said while gesturing over to the small jester.
“Ignore them [Y/N] I would describe it as trapped I would say you’re just caught in a little coding mishap” There it was, he said your name again and for a second it felt like you could remember something, like all your memories were on the tip of your tongue, so close but yet so far. And then, it went again and it felt like you couldn’t remember anything. Soon enough Caine gave you the usual tour around the circus and its grounds showing off the lake and the fun carnival. He brought you to your room and when you went inside you saw all your childhood favourite toys and your room was themed about all your childhood favourite things, not like you could remember that they were your childhood favourite. That’s when you saw your avatar.
You had the features of a child, dressed in children’s clothes and swirls of paint covering your body. You were furious that your avatar was dressed like a child, you weren’t a child anymore, you just wanted to be treated like an adult. “What is all this?! I don’t like any of this stuff!” You yelled “You don’t like it? I had based it off your personality, it seemed a very fitting room for you!” Caine said cheerfully not really phased by your raised voice. “No I don’t like it! Can’t you change it or something?” Caine shook his head “Nope, once I build a room I can’t change it”
“F**k” You muttered under your breath before continuing “I can’t swear either? S**t, B**ch, a**. Really I can’t say any swears at all?”
“Yes ’The Amazing Digital Circus’ has a no swearing policy, plus no one wants to listen to that type of foul language anyway, at least I don’t want to.”
A week or so later.
By now you had noticed that Caine never let you go on any ‘scary’ adventures with the others; instead you would be playing childish games with him in the safety of the circus tent. This just pissed you off even more, it was bad enough to be trapped here but to constantly be treated as a child when you just want to be an adult was even more infuriating. The games were tedious and boring, normally being games like patty cake or some old board game. Something did peak your interest though, Caine’s odd behavior, he reminded you of someone, someone who was very close and dear to you, someone who no matter what was always able to keep a positive attitude and a smile on their face, you just couldn’t remember who. Today went like any other day the main cast would get given their dangerous but way more fun adventure and you were stuck with Caine playing snap.
You were mentally scolding yourself, like usual, feeling vulnerable and childish for playing these childish games with Caine. One part of you hated yourself and your role in this circus, though another, smaller, part of you enjoyed the games, you liked having fun and having a childish side. These thoughts battled with each other causing you to quickly grow overwhelmed, Caine’s constant noise wasn’t helping you and the second Caine wasn’t looking you ran for it out of the circus to the digital forest nearby. Caine was distracted with the main cast coming back from their adventure, not noticing you slip out of the circus.
While running away, your adrenaline sky high, you felt that sense of deja vu like you had witnessed this before the whole situation feeling familiar. This feeling of deja vu currently wasn’t your main focus, instead you were focusing on getting far away from the circus tent and deep into the forest. Caine on the other hand was panicking like crazy, searching all over for you, terrified that his newest member was going to abstract already. He searched all the corridors and all over the circus before coming to the horrible conclusion that you ran outside the circus and could be anywhere.
After what seemed like an eternity for Caine he found you leaned up against a tree crying, he bent down beside you instantly reaching out to comfort you. You didn’t react to his comfort instead your brain was starting to finally process what this world was and how you played a role in it. You realised that you could never leave, could never go home or see your friends and to make everything even worse you couldn’t remember if you even had friends, you could remember if you had a pet and if you did they were just laying there probably watching your limp body wondering what happened to you. You couldn’t remember a thing, but this stupid AI ringmaster was somehow accidentally bringing back your memories even though you could properly remember them. You could finally remember who he reminded you of. Your dad.
You leaned into Caine’s comforts before muttering under your breath almost subconsciously “Thanks Dad”. Caine seemed surprised to hear this but held you tighter, still scared that you would abstract. “I think my dad was the creator of this game Caine” you mumble looking at Caine for his reaction. He was very surprised by your claim but was definitely willing to listen to your reason. “Why do you think that my dear?” He questioned.
“My dad, he worked as a computer programmer, as a kid he had shown me a few of his projects, I clearly remember being shown your character model. He was working on this beautiful game built for me since I didn’t have a great childhood. He said he’d name a character after me, which is maybe why you remember my name, the headset was made specifically for me…”
Caine rubbed the small of your back as you told your story, “Did you like circuses as a kid? Is that why your dad made this place for you?”
“Kinda, my mother forced me to grow up fast when I was a kid, I was always working somewhere around the house or making her food since she was too lazy to do it herself, she taught me to have a mindset where work always came first and nothing else. My dad on the other hand wanted me to enjoy my childhood for as long as I could making the circus so I could enjoy my childhood more. My mother was a very dramatic woman and one night when I was a kid I walked down stairs to find my parents fighting, when my mother noticed me she said that I was a mistake and that she wished she’d never had a child with my dad. Later that day I ran away to a forest and my dad found me and carried me home. I never saw my dad after that as the next day he went to work and never came home again, I don’t know what happened to him after that. So I was left with my mother who continued her work over anything else and continued to make me do everything.” You softly sigh now looking down at the ground instead of looking at Caine.
“It got to the point where the relationship with my mother was basically abusive so when I was old enough I worked as hard as I could to earn enough money to move out and get an apartment in a different city, but I guess that mindset had never really left me since, until I joined this circus”.
Caine pulled you into his lap holding your head close to his chest trying his best to comfort you before softly saying “I may not be your real father, but just know [Y/N] I will always be here for you. No matter what you're going through I’ll be here to hold your hand, alright?” You nodded and Caine continued “Now, let’s head back before the others get worried huh?” Caine said in his normal goofy voice but just a tad softer. He gently squeezed your hand showing his reassurance before scooping you up into his arms, just like your dad did all those years ago.
A day later, you were being held back from the dangerous adventures, as usual, instead playing ‘Tic Tac Toe Extreme™’ with Caine, that usual sense of vulnerability had faded away and been replaced with a sense of longing as you had realised that it was okay to embrace your childish side after all.