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It had been a rough couple of weeks for the Curtis household. Ponyboy had come down with a case of pneumonia after the fountain that had resulted in every member of the gang stepping up to babysit, including Evie, at one point or another. It took two weeks and two doctor’s visits for the kid to even start feeling better. Darry was grateful they avoided the hospital, but it was a close call. By the third week his fever was down, but the rest of his symptoms were still very much present. Even now, four weeks out, the fatigue still got to him.
Pneumonia was difficult for anyone to handle, but Pony’s immune system really wasn’t strong enough to fight it off properly.
As if that wasn’t enough, his nightmares were worse than ever. Not even having Soda there was helping lessen them, and Darry had switched him into his own room soon after they started. Between him being sick and waking up screaming so frequently, he would rather have him close by. Darry had hoped that they would calm down after his fever broke, but so far they were batting zero. Technically, it was a little better, but they still happened multiple times in a week and it was starting to take its toll on all three of them.
Pony had spent the last few nights back in Soda’s room, but the whole house woke up when he did, regardless of where he was sleeping. Exhaustion was drowning all of them, and Darry could feel the tensions in the house rising, though he didn’t know how to stop it. All three of them were snapping at each other, even Soda, which was uncommon since their parent’s death. Darry felt like he was on a hair trigger, and he could only imagine how close Ponyboy was to breaking if he and Soda were struggling this much. The gang was around as much as they could to help, but even they had kept their distance some with the tension in the house.
They were starting to fall back into a routine though, and Darry got home just in time to start dinner for the boys. As soon as he walked in, he tripped over little shoes though and Darry felt the words leave his mouth before he could stop to think about them, “Ponyboy Michael, put your shoes on the rack! We’ve talked about this. Why can’t you do as you're told?” The annoyance and frustration in his tone was pliable, and Ponyboy looked up from his spot on the couch with wide eyes, before a hard set glare found its way onto his face.
Great, he was in for a fight.
“You could say please,” Pony retorted, making no move to get up. Darry raised an eyebrow, “And you could do as I ask once in a while. Drop the attitude, little man.” The clenching of his jaw was the only warning Darry got that his brother was about to double down. “You have an attitude too, but no one yells at you for it!” his voice was raised and if Darry was in a better state of mind he’d stop this conversation in its tracks and start deescalating things. Weeks of little sleep, worry, and fear were tangled up inside of him, choking out his rational thought, and Darry found himself using the same argument he hated as a kid, “Yeah? Well I’m the adult here, and it’s your behavior we’re focusing on, not mine! When I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Soda creeping in from the kitchen. Darry gave him a warning look, because he knew his little brother was seconds away from joining the conversation and coddling their youngest brother. At the moment though, Darry was sitting up on the high ground and he’d be damned if he was undermined. Still, the breaking point he feared was coming hit the youngest of them like the train that killed their parents and he screamed, “You’re not my Dad, Darrel! I don’t have to listen to you!”
It was like a bucket of cold water washed over him, and Darry could only imagine that the shocked devastation on Ponyboy’s face mirrored his own. Narrowing his eyes, Darry’s voice was cold and detached as he responded, “No, I’m not, but I’m all you got and you do have to listen to me. Room, now.”
The fight drained out of his youngest brother, and he ran down the hall into his room, the door haphazardly thrown shut behind him, leaving Darry and Soda standing in the living room. Trying to cut the tension, Soda murmured, “Well that went well,” and to his credit, he didn’t even look cowed by the glare Darry shot at him. Soda moved first, coming over to pull his older brother into a hug. “He didn’t mean it, Dar,” Soda murmured. Darry was tense for a moment, but eventually gave in and sagged into his brother’s hold. “He’s right though. I’m not his Dad, Soda. I don’t know what I’m doing,” he murmured. Soda pulled back, “You’re doing fine, D. So you sent him to his room so you could both cool off. It’s not like you belted him.”
A shudder ran through him at the thought. Their Dad had only spanked him once, and it was with his hand. Though Darry couldn’t even count it as a real spanking because part way through his Dad got so upset he stopped. Instead, he ended up holding Darry and apologizing to him. They talked out the situation and Darry ended up grounded from the tv for three nights instead. He couldn’t imagine using his hand on his brother, especially knowing how awful his Dad had felt about it. “I wouldn’t do that,” he admitted, and Soda nodded, “I know. We’re not a corporal punishment household.”
Soda continued, “He had a rough day at school I think.” Instinctively, Darry defended, “That doesn’t give him the right to not listen and lash out when he’s told to do something.” The middle brother raised an eyebrow at him, “But it’s totally reasonable to come home from a bad at work and immediately pick a fight with a five year old over shoes?” Darry didn’t have anything to say about that, and a deep sigh escaped him. Ponyboy was forgetful when it came to putting his stuff away, but his brother was working on it and Darry knew patience went a long way with the kid.
“What do you mean he had a rough day?” Darry asked. Sucking in his teeth, Soda went to the door and grabbed his brother’s backpack. He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to his brother. Darry’s eyes widened, and then closed as he fought back the tears welling in his eyes.
Parent’s Day.
Well, that explained Ponyboy’s outburst. It was set for Friday afternoon, and Darry felt vaguely nauseous at the idea of no one being there for his brother. From the way it was balled up in the bottom of his back, he reckoned Ponyboy wasn’t going to tell him either. Running a hand through his hair, Darry murmured, “That explains a lot.” Rubbing his hand down his face, he continued, “I’m going to take a quick shower and change and then I’ll go talk to him.”
Usually, Ponyboy needed a little space after something like this and Darry knew he needed a second as well. Soda nodded, “I’ll get dinner made up tonight.” Darry placed a kiss on his brother’s forehead, “Thanks, Pepsi. I dunno what we’d do without you.” Soda grinned, shrugging him off, and they went their separate ways.
In his bedroom, Ponyboy had his face shoved into a blanket. He was in his own room because he didn’t want to lock Soda out of their shared one just because he got in trouble. Despite his best efforts, Ponyboy couldn’t stop crying, despite how muffled it was. He hadn’t meant to fight with Darry. His brother had sounded so frustrated with him though, and the guilt had gnawed at him. Ponyboy had been stuck between anger and tears since they got the flyer this morning at school. Darry telling him off was just the tip of the iceberg that had Ponyboy shattering.
He wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t move from where he was, paralyzed by his anger, his guilt, his fear, and his hurt. Ponyboy hadn’t meant to imply that Darry wasn’t his guardian, he was just projecting his fear. Darry wasn’t his Dad, because their Dad was dead and so was their Mom. The thought dawned on him then: he’d never be their baby again; he’d never be anyone’s baby ever again. The realization made him cry harder, and the full weight of his grief threatened to swallow him.
No one was going to come to Parent’s Day, or Grandparent’s Day, or Mother’s Day, or Father’s Day because Ponyboy didn’t have any of those people. All he had was Darry, and he constantly made his brother’s life harder. He couldn’t even remember to put his shoes away, despite being asked several times. Instead of apologizing, he’d picked a fight, and shame threatened to consume him as he continued keening. The boys at school were right. Eventually, Darry was going to realize he wanted to get on with his life, and Ponyboy would prove to be more trouble than he was worth.
Darry was all he had, but eventually, he wouldn’t even have him.
Outside the door, Darry’s heart shattered as he heard Ponyboy’s muffled sobs. In that moment, he was positive the last thing his brother needed was space, and tossed the damp towel in his hand down the hall by his own bedroom, before knocking on the door to his youngest brother’s room. There was no answer, and Darry realized then that the kid was already so far in his head that he couldn’t even hear Darry trying to reach him.
That wouldn’t do.
Opening the door, Darry shut it behind him, and then moved until he was kneeling down next to his brother’s bed. He put a hand on his back, rubbing it gently, as he murmured, “Hey baby, it’s okay. Just breathe for me.” The moniker only made Ponyboy cry harder and it took Darry a moment to catch onto what he was saying. “I’m not your baby. I’m never gonna be anyone’s baby ever again,” he wailed. Darry’s heart squeezed, and he was pulling Ponyboy into his arms before he could even register that he was doing it. He pulled his brother’s face to his and put their foreheads against one another, not allowing Ponyboy to pull away.
“You are too my baby. You’re going to be my baby for the rest of your days, whether you like it or not. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. This ain’t something you get to decide, Colt. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and you’re my baby,” Darry told him, leaving absolutely no room for argument.
If there was one thing about Ponyboy though, he could always find room for an argument, even if there wasn’t one. Ponyboy’s eyes filled with tears as he shook his head, “You’ll get tired of it. You’re gonna move on and get married and have your own kids and you’re not gonna want me in the way. You’re gonna have your own babies and you won’t need me.” Darry’s chest ached at how earnest his brother was, as if this was a simple fact that everyone should know. He also knew his little brother didn’t get there on his own, and that thought made him violently angry.
“Who told you that?” he asked, pulling back so that he could cup his brother’s face. Ponyboy went tight lipped, and Darry brushed his thumbs over his kid’s cheeks, “Who told you that, Ponyboy?” he asked. Tears steadily slid down the boy’s face as he bawled, “I told my teacher I was gonna invite you to Parent’s Day and she said you probably wouldn’t want to come because you’re not my parent, and then later a few of the boys in my class said that it was dumb for me to invite you because obviously you would want to have your own babies and you wouldn’t want to be my Dad. I told them I didn’t want you to be my Dad, I just wanted you to be my Dar, but they said it didn’t matter. You’d want your own baby and not someone’s leftover. Besides, your baby probably won’t forget to put their shoes away and won’t get sick all the time, and won’t make your life harder.”
Rage grew inside of him as his little brother continued and he wanted nothing more than to set them all straight, but none of that was as important as making sure Ponyboy understood the score. Darry shifted them, cradling Ponyboy in his arms just like he did when he was a baby, and he moved so that he could sit against the headboard with his brother in his arms. Despite his earlier fierceness, Ponyboy didn’t fight him, just laid there in the crook of his arm. Darry placed a gentle kiss on his brother’s forehead, before pulling back to look at him.
“They’re stupid and they’re wrong,” Darry started, and raised his eyebrows to silence Pony from arguing. “My baby leaves his shoes out, forgets his jacket, and is as stubborn as the day is long, and I wouldn’t change anything about him,” Darry told him, before continuing, “You know I was the first person to hold you after Mama and Dad? You were so tiny I could hold you in my hands alone, but I used to hold you just like this. Your head in the crook of my arm and my hand supporting your back so that you wouldn’t go anywhere. You were my baby brother the moment you were born, Ponyboy. Forever mine and Soda’s baby to protect, to take care of, to love, to dote on. You’re ours Colt. You’re mine. My baby,” Darry told him fiercely. He rocked him just like he did when he was little, and like he did now when the nightmares took hold of him.
“That’s never going to change. If I meet someone and get married, you’re still going to be my kid, Ponyboy. I wouldn’t marry anyone that didn’t understand that you are mine from now until always. I could get married and have a million kids, and you would still be my baby, my first baby. That’s never going to change, Colt. I wouldn’t give you up for the world,” he reassured, before tucking him closer, resting his chin on his brother’s head. Swallowing, Darry decided to be a little more open with his brother, “You know I didn’t fight for custody just for your sake?”
Ponyboy tilted his head, his little confused face looking at Darry intently. Darry gave him a small grin as he smoothed out his brother’s forehead, “I did it for me. Ponyboy, you are still Mama and Daddy’s baby, even if they’re gone. You and Soda are all I’ve got left of them, Colt, and Soda is almost grown himself. We lost them, but I’m not losing you. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else taking care of you. You were their last baby, Pony, and now you’re mine. Not because I had to take you in, or out of obligation to them, or because there’s no other options, but because I want you to be. I want you to be my baby, and I want to be your Dar. God kid, I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t get to be the one taking care of you,” Darry admitted.
Ponyboy’s tears had slowed, but a few slid down his cheeks quietly as he curled up closer to Darry’s chest. “I miss them,” he admitted, and Darry cupped the back of his head, supporting it just like he did when Pony was a baby, and kissed his hair, “Yeah baby, me too.” Swallowing, Ponyboy pushed back enough that he could meet Darry’s eyes. “I’m sorry I forgot to put my shoes away, and for fighting when you reminded me, and for yelling at you. I didn’t mean it,” he apologized. Darry gave him a small smile and brushed his cheek, “I forgive you, Colt. Thanks for apologizing. I’m sorry I snapped at you instead of asking nicely, and getting so short with you.” Ponyboy’s lip wobbled, “I forgive you. I can still be your baby?” he asked, and Darry was quick to pull him into a real hug, “Oh yeah, kiddo. You can and will always be my baby; even if I’m angry, annoyed, or frustrated, and even if you make a mistake or cause a fuss. Just like I’m always going to be your Dar,” he promised.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, sniffling just a little bit. “You don’t gotta thank me,” Darry murmured. He let them sit there a few minutes longer, before he heard noise from the kitchen. “Come on, your brother is probably close to done with dinner. We should go set the table,” he offered. Ponyboy nodded and rubbed his cheeks. Darry used the edge of his shirt to wipe his brother’s tears clean from his face. “We’ll get you some water too,” he promised. Ponyboy chimed in, “Chocolate milk?” Darry snorted, “How’d you get chocolate milk from water?” he asked, teasing him. Ponyboy gave him an innocent shrug. “Water first, then chocolate milk you fiend,” Darry murmured.
The pair of them made their way into the kitchen, and Soda gave Darry a grateful smile. It was clear there was some resolution. The rest of the gang had filtered in, and Soda made his baby brother a plate first and then got his own, letting Darry go next and the rest of the gang dig in after. Friendly banter filled the kitchen and after a moment Darry turned to his youngest and said, “What time is Parent’s Day on Friday?” Ponyboy looked at him, eyes wide and filled with hope as he answered, “three o’clock.” Darry nodded, “Alright, I’ll be there, kiddo.”
Gentle, affectionate teasing commenced at Darry’s admission, led mostly by Two-Bit, but he just grinned in return. There was no way in hell Darry was going to let his kid down, and he had a few choice words for his brother’s teacher anyways. The rest of the night was filled with quiet chaos that Darry had come to find comforting.
Friday afternoon came fast, and Darry had left just early enough that he could go home and shower and change. He wore simple blue jeans, but put on one of his Dad’s old button ups so that he looked a little more like a parent and a little less like a brother. He couldn’t admit it to himself, but he was nervous. Darry was no stranger to the judgement of Tulsa, but he hated that the judgement of him would reflect how they looked at his baby brother. It shouldn’t matter, and Darry wouldn’t change for strangers that were determined to look down on him, but it felt lousy all the same.
At least this way he was putting his best foot forward.
By the time Darry got there, quite a few parents were already there, and their kids had come running up to them with varying degrees of excitement. He caught Ponyboy’s anxious gaze and gave him a small wave. A beaming grin spread across his face and he bolted across the room with an excited, “Dar!” Darry lifted his brother into a full swinging hug before setting him back down again. “Hey Colt,” Darry grinned, ruffling his hair. Ponyboy grabbed his hand and led him over to his desk, chattering as he did, “I had to make a family portrait; I wanna show you.” Darry beamed at him, “Oh yeah? I can’t wait to see it,” he admitted. Across the room, Darry’s eyes met Ponyboy’s teacher’s and he registered the shock on her face. Darry gave her a polite smile, but it wasn’t warm. He turned his attention back to Ponyboy.
“Here it is! I had to make the house a little bigger so everyone could fit, but see, that’s you, me and Soda, Steve and Evie, Dally and Johnny, Two-Bit and Marcia, all in the living room hanging out,” Ponyboy explained, and Darry felt himself getting a little teary over the portrait. “Who’s up here?” he asked, pointing to the two flying figures, though Darry had an idea already. “Mama and Daddy. They’re watching over us,” he explained. Darry grinned, kissing the top of his head, “You bet they are. This is really good, Colt. We’re gonna have to put it up on the fridge,” Darry reassured. Ponyboy shot him a bright smile as he nodded.
After a few minutes Ponyboy’s teacher, Mrs. White, clapped her hands together to get everyone’s attention. “Welcome to parent’s day! We’re very excited to have you all here today. We have a few activities lined up for you all. Your child will be sharing their family portrait with you today, then we’ll do the relay race, and finally, we’ll have a snack before an early dismissal,” she explained. Her voice was painfully cheerful and Darry knew he really disliked her because of what she’d said to his brother. When she finally finished up her directions, Darry turned to Ponyboy, “A race huh?” and his brother grinned sheepishly. “Uh huh, and we’re gonna win,” Pony murmured.
A competitive grin formed as he nodded, “That’s the spirit.” Once they were outside, he noticed a couple of boys eyeing him and his brother up. Darry nudged him, “Those the boys that were being mean?” he asked. Ponyboy shrugged, which was a definite yes, and Darry nodded, “Okay, come on.” Pony looked at him in alarm, but followed him. Darry pulled out his most charming smile as he approached the three boys that were giving his brother a hard time and their clearly soc families.
“Hi, my name’s Darrel, but everyone calls me Darry. I’m Ponyboy’s guardian; his Dar, if you will. I wanted to meet some of Ponyboy’s friends,” he introduced, and Ponyboy was in awe of his big brother at that moment. There was so much confidence in how he introduced them, and Ponyboy noticed the boys looking at him wide eyed and nervous. He figured they were probably afraid he was going to rat them out to their parents, or even that Darry might lay into them for what they said.
Darry didn’t do that though. Instead, he showed them exactly who he was to Ponyboy, and exactly who Ponyboy was to him. He was expecting more judgement from the children’s parents, but they were polite towards him, bordering on friendly. They reminded him a bit of Paul’s mom, who always thought Darry was “one of the good ones”. There was always a double edge to her compliments, but Darry knew how to deal with that. He knew how to save face in order to get ahead, and that was exactly what he was doing now. If making nice with these boys' parents made them fearful enough to leave his kid brother alone, so be it.
They were called to line up for the race, and one of the Dad’s he was just talking with laughed, “We’re going to have a heck of a time keeping up with these young bucks.” Darry grinned as one of the other Dad’s commented, “You were the quarterback a few years ago right? My oldest was on your team.” Darry nodded, “Yeah, I was the quarterback and captain.” The other Dad whistled, “Well shoot, I think we’ve got real competition.”
Darry knelt down next to Ponyboy and gave him a quick pep talk, “I”m going to sprint as fast as I can to you okay, and as soon as you feel my hand you go. Good?” he asked, and Ponyboy nodded, “Good. We’re gonna do great,” he beamed, and Darry loved seeing his confidence. He gave his brother a tight hug and then sent him forward to his position. Darry would run halfway around the track and then tag Pony in, who would run the second half. It was a full lap in total, and Darry loved seeing his brother excited about something.
Not wanting to let him down, Darry took his mark and sprinted as soon as the buzzer went off. There was only one other parent that was close to his speed, and she was a younger mom. Still, Darry decided chivalry could be dead today as he pushed forward and lowfived Pony’s hand first. It amazed Darry how fast his kid brother could run. The girl that was tagged in by the Mom right behind him took off only a few seconds after Ponyboy, but his kid brother pulled ahead. She was quick too, but Ponyboy looked like he was flying. Darry couldn’t help but cheer him on as he got close to the finish line. Darry was already cutting across the field to greet him there.
Ponyboy ran through the finish line first and Darry jogged the rest of the way so that he could swing his little brother up into his arms with a grin. “You did it! You did such a great job, baby!” Ponyboy squeezed his arms around his brother’s neck and laughed. “We won!” Darry laughed, “Yeah we did, little man,” and Darry felt very much like a winner in that moment. As soon as he set Ponyboy down, he put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Ponyboy was already turning though, smiling and waving to the girl that finished right behind him. She ran right up to him and gave him an easy high five.
“Good job, Pony!” she grinned, and his little brother matched her smile, “You too, Birdie!” Darry couldn’t help but wonder if they first bonded over their names. He watched Birdie’s mom approach and Darry was fairly certain he knew her. Looking at her a moment longer, he realized she graduated a couple of years above him in high school.
“Darry, right? You were the quarterback in high school,” she greeted, and Darry nodded, before hesitantly answering, “Yeah, Julie, right?” She beamed, nodding, “Yeah, nice to see you again! Sorry if this is rude, but Ponyboy, is he yours?” Darry would have laughed at her question and the confusion on her face if this subject hadn’t been such a sore one in the last twenty four hours. It was vital he got this right, and Darry responded with a warm smile, “Yes, at least, in all the ways that matter. He’s my little brother, but I have full guardianship,” he answered, catching his little brother’s eyes and sending him a gentle smile. Ponyboy beamed at him, and he relaxed, knowing that he said the right thing.
Julie gave him a sympathetic, but not pitying smile as she responded, “Right, I’m sorry for your loss, Darry. I heard about it in the papers. It’s good he’s got you.” Before Darry could ask anything else she continued, “I had my little Bird when I was eighteen. Her Daddy split, but I got her out of the deal so I take that as a win. I know a lot of people think being a single parent is life ruining, but she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” She looked over at her daughter and Ponyboy who were playing a friendly, but intense game of tag. Darry gave her an understanding hum, recognizing the defensive answer when he heard it.
“No, I get it. Everyone keeps apologizing to me for having to drop out, and sure, it sucks not going to college, but losing him and Soda would be infinitely worse. I’m happy to be where I am,” he admitted, and Julie gave him a warm smile in return. “I foresee a lot of play dates in our future. Pony’s welcome over anytime. Birdie talks about him a lot; says he’s the only person in her class that doesn’t make fun of her for liking ‘boy’ things,” she admitted, and Darry grinned automatically, unsurprised by his brother’s easy acceptance of others. Their game had expanded to some of the other kids as well, and Darry was pleased to see that his brother was fitting in.
“At least we can count on good company. If you ever need anything you can always give us a call. I know it’s worth it, but it can be a challenge too,” he shrugged, and Julie nodded at him, “Same to you Darry. I reckon we’re going to end up being good friends.” The idea of having friends that were also parents made him feel a little warm inside, as though he was being accepted into a secret club. Darry caught sight of Mrs. White on her own and he gave Julie’s arm a squeeze as he asked, “Do you mind keeping an eye on him for a second? I need to have a word with Mrs. White.” The young mom grimaced and nodded, “Of course. Good luck. I had to have a conversation with her earlier this year for her views on single mothers.” Darry winced in sympathy, before heading over to the kindergarten teacher.
Putting on his most charming smile, he greeted, “Hi Mrs. White, I’m Darry, Ponyboy’s brother. I was hoping we could have a quick word.” He saw through the faux smile as she answered in a too sweet voice, “Of course. Ponyboy is a rather quiet child, but he’s a smart student. What would you like to discuss?” Darry tilted his head as he explained, “Thank you, he really is bright. He was also pretty upset about today’s event. Parent’s Day is hard enough given our circumstances, as you know, but Ponyboy was under the impression that I wouldn’t want to come today. Now, I was a little confused on where he got that idea, but that’s not true in the least. Of course I want to be here today,” Darry’s smile turned a little sharp as he continued, “so when I asked him he said that a couple boys in his class told him I wouldn’t want to step in for our parents. I thought maybe it was just kids being mean, but then he told me that his teacher said I probably wouldn’t want to come, since I wasn’t his parent.”
Her eyes widened and Darry thought for a moment she might look the slightest bit apologetic before her face tightened back into a smile. “That wasn’t quite what I meant, but I understand why he was hurt by the sentiment. Ponyboy was upset about Parent’s Day, and I told him that if someone couldn’t come I’d still make sure he was able to participate. He said he was going to ask you, and he was so hopeful, I just wanted him to be prepared that the answer might be no. I understand why he thought that though and I’m sorry for any distress it caused,” she admitted. Darry nodded, hearing the sincerity behind her apologize.
“I appreciate that. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. He’s my kid for all intents and purposes. I plan on stepping up in any way he needs me to,” he expressed. Mrs. White smiled, though there was a tightness to it, “I understand that. He could benefit from a more stable environment though, or at the very least, a feminine presence.” Darry glanced at her, “He could also benefit from our parents still being alive, but he has our brother and I, and for now that’s enough.” The reminder was enough to end the conversation and Mrs. White clearly bit back what she wanted to say in place of responding with, “True enough. I’ll be more mindful in the future of what I say to Ponyboy.”
With a nod, Darry smiled, “Thank you. That’s all I ask.”
The rest of the afternoon went by fast, and Darry was grateful when they were finally able to head home. By the time they got there, he could hear the rest of the gang in the living room. He was stopped from entering by little arms encircling his waist, “Thanks for coming today, Dar.”
Darry grinned, putting a hand on the back of his brother’s head as he answered, “I’ll always be there when you need me baby.”