Chapter Text
As they pulled up to his house, Soda knew he should consider himself lucky. He should be thanking the cops for not pressing charges or taking him down to the station. Really, he should be grateful that the cop in question was one of Darry’s old football buddies, and decided to cut them a break and bring his underage brother home from the party at Buck’s instead of arresting him just for being there. Nevermind that Sodapop wasn’t drunk, hadn’t been involved in the fight, or technically broke any laws aside from being in an establishment that served alcohol while underage. If it were any other cop, he knew damn well he’d be in cuffs and headed for the station, as opposed to sulking in the backseat pulling up to his driveway the way he was now.
Seeing the porch and living room light on, Soda knew his luck wasn’t about to get any better.
Darry was standing on the front porch, eyes wide and arms crossed before the car was even in park. Soda swallowed at the worry lines on his face, and he knew tonight wasn’t about to get any better for him.
“Come on, kid. Let’s get it over with,” Officer James sighed. Soda didn’t know why he sounded so resigned, when it was him that was going to be facing Darry’s wrath for this. Darry didn’t set many rules for him, because they’d been brothers far longer than whatever guardian position Darry was stepping into now. Don’t get mixed up in anything violent, don’t get a girl pregnant, no drugs or alcohol use, and most importantly, don’t get in trouble with the police. They were easy rules to follow, and for the most part, Soda never had a reason to worry about being on the other end of his brother’s ire, at least not for anything serious.
This was serious though, and despite the fact that it turned out alright, he knew Darry was going to flip his lid.
Climbing out after him, Soda tried to gauge his brother’s mood based on how he spoke with the officer.
“Officer James,” Darry greeted, polite but cautious. The officer waved him off, “Ah come on, none of that Darry. Theo is fine. I’m here as a friend, not a lawman. Figured I’d drop your kid brother off for ya, save you the hassle.”
Darry’s eyes narrowed towards him for a minute, but eased up as he looked back at Theo. “Thank you. Where’d you find him?” Darry asked.
Soda found a spot on the siding of the house to stare at as he avoided his brother’s gaze. It didn’t stop him from wincing at Theo’s casual, “Buck’s place. Broke up a party there tonight when it got a little too rowdy. I’m sure Soda was just passing by and not actually there. Figured I’d bring him home so there wasn’t any misunderstanding.”
Both Curtis boys heard what wasn’t being said. If another cop had found an underage greaser at a bar, it would be a jail cell without question. Darry’s jaw clenched, but he gave Theo a sincere smile all the same, “Thank you. I’m really grateful you brought him home safe,” Darry admitted.
Clapping Darry on the shoulder, Theo grinned, “Anytime Darry. I know what boys get up to at that age, though you were always a little more reserved than the rest of us. Consider it a thank you for all the times you made sure I got home safe. Least I could do.”
As Theo turned he gave Soda a sympathetic smile, “Good luck, man.”
“Have a good night boys,” he called, before stepping down the porch towards the car.
“Thanks, Theo. Have a good night,” Darry called.
Feeling the sharp eyes of his brother, Soda swallowed and turned to face him. Darry pointed inside without a word, causing the younger of the two to duck his head as he walked in. Pushing his hair back, Soda made his way to the sofa, knowing there was no way he was getting out of this without a lecture.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Darry asked, incredulously. Before he could open his mouth to answer, Darry was already going off again. “Do you have any idea how bad this could have been? The cops, Soda? That’s our most important rule. I’ve told you to stay the hell away from Buck’s place, for this reason! Nevermind that you’re underage, nevermind that those parties get raided all the time. I don’t care that he’s your boss, you know better than to go into his bar! What if it wasn’t Theo that was there? What if it wasn’t someone that knew us? You could be in a damn jail cell right now, and you can bet we’d have a social worker at our door by morning hauling you and your brother away!”
Tears pricked the edges of his eyes, but Soda swallowed them. He caught a lot of hell for being the bawl baby in the family, but he could take his licks when he earned them. Then again, it wasn’t entirely his fault, and he briefly wished Darry would just give him a second to explain before he continued on his warpath. Sodapop knew his brother though, and he knew this was the fear talking. It didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
“Dar -” Soda cut in, only for his voice to be drowned out by his older brother.
“I reckon it didn’t occur to you that you’ve got two brothers waiting up for you, worried sick because you’re late? Not only late, but then coming home in a cop car no less! Do you know how many awful scenarios went through my head when I saw a cop rolling up at one in the morning when you weren’t home yet? Not to mention, despite my best efforts, Ponyboy won’t go to sleep because you’re not home. He’s too busy worrying about whether you’re okay, and you’re off at Buck’s risking my ability to keep both of you!”
The ticking time bomb inside of him finally erupted. Maybe, it was the fact that Darry didn’t ask what happened. Maybe, it was the implication that he didn’t care about his little brother. Maybe, it was the implication that he would ever jeopardize Darry’s custody willingly. Maybe, most likely, it was the combination of the three that had Soda up and on his feet, chest to chest with his older brother.
“That’s not my fault! None of this was my fault, and you didn’t even ask me! You’re standing there accusing me and you don’t even know what happened or how I ended up there. You just assume I was out being reckless and stupid, because that’s all I am to you. Forget the fact that I’ve stepped up too since they’ve been gone. I didn’t ask to alter my entire life around my five year old brother, but I did it. I don’t go out all that often, I almost always make sure I’m home before his nightmares kick in, and I don’t bring Sandy around that often because for whatever reason, Pony doesn’t seem to like her. You think she didn’t notice that she’s the only one not in the family picture he drew? Christ, Marcia made the picture. Of course it caused issues, but I let it go, because what am I supposed to say?”
Sucking in a breath he continued, “When I’m not working I’m here, looking after him, because we sure can’t afford a sitter and it’s not fair to pawn him off on the gang all the time, and God knows you have to work to keep food on the table. I know the score. I pull my weight, but I didn’t ask to be a parent! I didn’t ask for him to become my responsibility, but I do it because he’s my brother and he just lost his parents, but damn it Darry, so did I! So did you! I didn’t ask for any of this,” he exploded.
Despite his best efforts, tears streamed down his cheeks, and he furiously wiped them away. He was angry, but anger almost always made him cry too. Darry opened his mouth and closed it a couple of times. For his part, Soda felt sick. Guilt started to climb up his throat and he looked at Darry with wide, terrified eyes, as if his big brother could fix what he feared he just broke. Before Soda could start apologizing, before he could run and maybe never return, he felt his big brother’s arms come around him.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry Darry. I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t -” Soda’s words were frantic as they tripped over themselves in an effort to bury what he already said. Darry squeezed him tightly, his hand cupping the back of his brother’s head. “Breathe. Breathe Pepsi-Cola. It’s alright,” he soothed. Darry’s first instinct was always to soothe his brother’s, but especially Sodapop. From the time they were kids he knew Soda was more sensitive, and he knew how quickly he could work himself up. Anger was so uncommon for him, that it was impossible not to listen when he snapped, and Darry heard what he was saying.
“I’m sorry, too. I should have asked you what happened instead of jumping to lecturin’. I got scared and you caught the brunt end of it. I didn’t mean to imply that you don’t pull your weight around here, or that you don’t care about Ponyboy,” he murmured, before adding, “and for the record, I don’t think you’re stupid and reckless. I know it’s not fair. I know I rely on you too much with him, and it isn’t fair to you, Soda. You didn’t sign up for this,” Darry agreed.
Soda vehemently shook his head as he pulled back, “I did too. I got worked up because you didn’t let me explain what happened, and angry because you were accusing me of putting our family in danger, but I didn’t -,” Soda paused, swallowing, “Maybe I didn’t sign up for it, but no one made me step up. You didn’t make me drop out, or work as much as I do, and you don’t make me watch him. I always offer. I shouldn’t have thrown it back in your face, because sure we can’t afford a sitter, but I wouldn’t send him to ones on my days off either. I love spending time with him. I love being someone he can come to for comfort, and I love hanging out with him. It’s not - he’s not a burden. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. I just wanted to explain, I wanted you to see that I wouldn’t -” Soda’s voice cracked a little, and his older brother nodded.
“You wanted to make sure I saw all the things you did for him, for us. I know. I’m sorry I lost sight of that, Little Buddy. We couldn’t get along without you. I know you love him, and I know you always do these things without asking, but I need you to promise me that you’ll tell me when it’s too much. You’re only sixteen, Soda. You deserve to be a kid. I’m your guardian too,” Darry continued.
He’ll never be able to baby Soda the way he can Ponyboy. They were too close in age, had spent too many years as brothers, and ultimately, despite his best efforts, Darry couldn’t do it by himself. As much as he desperately wished he was Superman, he needed Soda’s help with the bills, and he needed his brother’s help with watching Ponyboy. They couldn’t afford the alternatives.
That didn’t make it fair though. Not to any of them.
“Can you tell me what happened tonight?” Darry asked.
Soda swallowed, but gave a nod. “Steve and I were out with the girls tonight at the rodeo. Sandy and I had gotten into a fight earlier today because of the portrait, and she made a comment about how Pony was jealous and couldn’t stand to share my attention. Before I could even say anything Steve told her to lay off. I dunno if he still feels bad over the jumping or what, but you’d have thought Sandy insulted me the way he got so sharp. Then again, Evie’s been kind of standoffish with her the last couple times we’ve hung out, so maybe they’re fighting. Anyways, Sandy got upset because she felt like we were all ganging up on her. I swear Dar, I’m missing something. I’ve never seen Evie get like that with Sandy of all people. So Sandy said she wanted to go home so Steve let me take the car and drop her off. I dunno if we’re - we didn’t break up, but I don’t know how to fix this because I dunno what’s wrong.”
Sinking into the couch, Darry sat down beside him, doing his best to stay patient as he continued listening.
“So I go back to the rodeo to grab Steve and Evie, but Tim shows up and is going on about Dally and Two-Bit getting rowdy at Buck’s. He said they’re fixing to get picked up if they don’t knock it off, so Steve decides we oughta go get them. I wasn’t there for more than five minutes, Dar. I wasn’t even gonna go in, but we had to get Dal and Two out, so I went in with Steve to help. We finally get them out of the brawl they were in with a couple other guys and get them towards the door, when the party is broken up. Everyone’s running, everyone’s trying to avoid the cops, and before I know it, Theo James has me by the shoulder and is pulling into the back of his cop car. He told me to sit my ass there and that he’d get me home without trouble,” Soda explained.
A stone sunk in his stomach as he listened to his younger brother. Darry felt guilty for jumping down his throat as soon as he walked in. Soda had always been a good friend, and this was no different. He was just looking out for their friends.
“The cops got Dal and Two, but they’ll probably only be in for the night. I waved Steve and Evie off, so they were fine. Steve was fixing to do something stupid, but I recognized Theo as one of your friends so I told him not to,” he admitted.
With a hum, Darry murmured, “That was smart. That was real smart, Pepsi-Cola.” Soda couldn’t help but beam a little at the praise. He leaned his head against his big brother, who didn’t hesitate to put an arm around him. “I’m sorry. I should have asked you first, because I know you wouldn’t do anything like this on purpose. I love you, Kid,” Darry apologized.
Swallowing, Soda nodded, “I forgive you. I imagine it was scary seeing a cop car roll up so late, and I know you’ve got reason to jump to the worst possible conclusion.”
“I’ll get better at asking before I jump,” Darry offered, causing Soda to smile.
“So, how much trouble am I looking at?” Soda asked, causing Darry to shake his head, “None. You didn’t do anything wrong Pepsi. We’re square,” he promised. Soda let out a sigh of relief as he leaned back against his brother.
“Can we go to bed?” he asked, causing Darry to snort. “Yeah Little Buddy, we can go to bed.”
Both brothers got up and headed towards their rooms with a warm good night.
Soda went to go dig in his closet for pjs, but noticed there was a distinct lump missing from his bed. Turning back to the hall, he checked Ponyboy’s room, his stomach sinking. If his brother heard the first part of his meltdown, he could only imagine the hurt he was feeling. Soda opened the door and felt his stomach drop completely. His bed was perfectly made, clearly untouched because he hadn’t slept in it for months now. Looking around, he tried not to panic.
Going back to his own room, he checked under the bed, checked the closet, and even threw back the covers just to be sure. In place of finding Ponyboy, he found a note on the pillow in the middle of their bed. Turning it over, his heart stopped as he read it. Pony was smart for his age, but his spelling was more phonetic than anything. Quietly, Soda read, “Sorry for making things harder. I hope this is better. Love you, Pony.”
“No. No no no,” Soda whispered, frantic and panicked. “DARRY,” he shouted.
Within seconds, Darry was barreling into his room, “Pepsi? What, what’s wrong?” he asked, fear climbing high in his voice.
“Pony’s gone. He must have - he must have heard me, and he left a note. He left a note and the window is opening and he must have gone out of it. I didn’t mean to -” Soda started. Darry took the note from him and his heart clenched at the words on the page.
“Come on,” Darry directed, “We’ll find him. He’s upset and he can’t go very far. He’s probably at the lot looking for Johnny,” the oldest suggested.
“Yeah, yeah that makes sense,” Soda breathed, grabbing his coat as he headed towards the living room. “Darry, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Darry put a hand on his shoulder, “It’s not your fault. We’ll find him and we’ll get this cleared up.”
Underneath Darry’s steady gaze and steady hand, Soda could see the tremor though. He could see the fear and the anxiety, and he knew that Darry was quietly petrified that it wouldn’t be that easy. Without another word, the boys were headed out the door and towards the lot.