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“I’m pregnant.”
The fork fell from Frank’s hand into his Denver omelet, his mouth still hanging open from when he’d been about to take a bite. He stared at Hazel for a few seconds too long. She could practically see the gears turning in his head, the calculations running on the last time they’d seen each other.
Finally, he leaned back in his chair, shut his mouth, and managed to pry his eyes away. Then, he asked, “And you’re sure it’s mine?”
Hazel felt queasy. It could’ve been that she had yet to take a bite from her breakfast skillet, or more likely anxiety over how Frank was going to react. Or, she had to keep reminding herself, it was the cluster of steadily growing cells in her stomach that was going to keep making life weird for her for as long as it was around.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” she said, stabbing lightly at a chunk of hashbrown. “I know we never talked about being exclusive, or whatever, but you’re the only person I’ve slept with in the last six months, if not longer. So, unless an angel forgot to stop by and let me know I’m carrying the second coming of Christ, it’s yours.”
“Okay.” Frank stared down at the table between them, a wrinkle forming on his forehead in thought. Hazel wanted to snap at him to say anything else, but she was also afraid that when he did speak, all she would hear would be, what does this have to do with me? After a moment or two, he nodded his head slightly, almost like he’d come to a decision in his head. “What do you want to do about it?”
Hazel frowned. “What do you want to do about it?”
Frank set his hands on the table, palms up on either side of his plate. Hazel briefly wondered if showing your palms to a skittish animal was supposed to soothe them, and if Frank had learned that while working at the animal shelter. “I’m not about to act like I have any say in what you do with your body - even if we were dating, I wouldn’t be so shitty as to tell you what to do, one way or the other. I mean, I might have stronger feelings about the situation, but-- I’m just some guy from an app. This is your life! Like, I’ll support your decision, whatever it is, but I don’t think I really have a right to weigh in, you know?”
Hazel hated her own hormones - she wanted to cry. She wanted to demand, what if it was your life, too? She wanted to ask which way his stronger feelings would sway. She just wanted someone to tell her she wasn’t making a mistake.
Instead, she huffed and set down her fork, crossing her arms over her chest. “That’s really… noble of you, or whatever, but I’m looking for actionable options, here. Like, I know I was probably going to want a kid at some point, and maybe now isn’t really what I had in mind, but this might be my only chance to do this without, like, IVF or adoption or something. But raising a kid on my own has never really been the ideal, either, so. What I’m trying to get at here is--”
Fuck, why was she about to cry? She almost didn’t want to go through with this just to be able to regain some control over her own emotions. Hazel looked up at the sky overhead, trying to ignore the welling that had started in the corners of her eyes. “Do you want a kid, or not? If I go through with this and you’re not around, are you going to be okay knowing your kid is out there, not knowing who you are?”
She dropped her face into her hands, muffling a groan. “Fuck, that is not how I wanted to do this. I promise, I’m not trying to… to sway you, or whatever, but I-- Nobody walks you through how to tell the guy you’ve been hooking up with that you’re carrying his baby!”
Hazel was suddenly grateful that they’d opted to sit in the outdoor dining area despite the chillier morning - if the entire restaurant had heard her outburst, she might have died on the spot.
Frank’s eyes had gone wide, and that reaction on its own was almost enough to make Hazel wish she could melt through the ground.
“Um,” Frank said, and then blurted out, “I can talk. Do you want me to talk now?”
Hazel pressed her hands over her mouth, not sure if she was going to throw up or sob, and nodded her head.
Despite his offer, Frank didn’t seem to know what to say. “I… wouldn’t be okay with it, I guess. Knowing I have a kid that doesn’t know me, I mean. I won’t claim to feel like I’ve always wanted kids, but the idea of being a dad someday has been… appealing, I guess. You know, there’s always that one kid in the supermarket that makes you question your decision for a few minutes, but I-- I’m pro-kid, I guess. If you want to hear which way I’m leaning. If I actually have any say in this. I don’t know what it would mean for us to have a kid, or how it would work for the two of us to raise it. But you seem like a pretty good person to raise a kid with.”
Hazel felt like Frank’s words had lifted a million pound weight from her shoulders. “I figured we would… co-parent,” she said quietly.
“Sure,” Frank agreed. “And… what do you imagine that would look like?”
“I have no fucking clue.”
Frank smiled. “We’ll figure it out as we go, then.” He leaned forward, reaching across the table with both hands, and waited until Hazel reciprocated. “This might not be what you had in mind, but… Whenever I’ve pictured a future where I have a kid, I’ve always imagined I would… Well, I’d be married to the mother of my child. And I’d kind of assumed that the marriage would come before the baby--”
Hazel started to laugh.
“--and I know this is a crazy thing for me to suggest! But I’ve heard how hard it can be for an unmarried woman with a child, even if she has a… a co-parent. You know, like, socially. So, if you wanted - like, if you think it would make anything easier - would you want to--”
“No way!” Hazel exclaimed, barely able to get the words out through her laughter. She squeezed his hands before letting him go, finally feeling her stomach settle enough to scoop up a bite on her fork. “Again, that’s incredibly noble of you, but if I’m getting married, it’s going to be because I love the other person. Not because I’m afraid of what some preschool mom is going to think about me. I’m happy to do this with you, and I’m happy to do it as friends, if that’s okay with you.”
Frank looked surprised at her response, but maybe even also a little relieved. “Yeah, that sounds great. My grandmother is probably going to kill me when she finds out about all of this, but that’s a problem for another day.”
Hazel smiled. “Tell me about your grandmother. What am I getting myself into?”
“Well, she’s…” Frank tilted his head in thought, “...ninety-six? And shrunk down to about four feet tall. So I can probably take her if she does try anything.”
Hazel laughed, feeling a flutter of butterflies in her stomach that told her she’d made the right decision.