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The warmth from the sunrays peeking through the gap between the dark grey curtains that were framing the window in his room. Slowly roused awake he stretched his body like a cat, mind going from groggy to alert.
The coolness from the floor touching his feet, sitting at the edge of his bed for a brief moment. His mind was unusually quiet. Glancing over his shoulder, eyes lingering on the still closed curtains. Walking over to the window he took a hold of the curtains gently, taking a minute before opening them carefully. The sun was still partially hiding beyond the horizon, colouring the sky in a beautiful pink and blue hue. His grip on each curtain tightened, knuckles going white. Taking a deep breath before putting on the usual smile he always wore.
“This is just any other day” He told himself.
Changing from pajamas to his normal attire, sliding on the sneakers and throwing on his coat. Hand hovering over the button that would open his door, shaking his head, placing his hand on it, hearing the door slide open. Slipping out of the room in his normal demeanor.
Greeting the conductor like any other day, politely declining the coffee that was offered to him. Running over towards the lobby. Waving towards his companions waiting for him, an outing they had agreed on the other day. A small break from saving planets and fighting monsters. A small twinge in his chest.
Walking around the town, she took pictures of the three of them, his heart swelled as he got to see the picture. Two were smiling while one was wearing his stoic expression as per usual. They teased him about it, telling him to at least smile in one picture.
Finding a small restaurant to get some lunch, the sun was at its highest point. He looked up towards it, squinting his eyes from the brightness, feeling an emotion gradually starting to bubble up inside him. There was a nudge from his female companion as she held up a spoon with some of the parfait they had ordered. Pointing out that the male in front of him should at least try it but the spoon he held out got rejected as always. Nothing had changed, it was as it always was.
The laughter and the one singular sigh. It never changed.
Running around rummaging in trash to show off sparkling objects, one took pictures and the other one held his collar trying to get him out of the trashcan.
Yes, as it always has been.
Asking her to take a picture of him and their archivist. The desire to have at least one picture of them together alone. As she handed over the photo, his heart skipped a beat, they were right next to each other, almost cheek to cheek. A treasure. Giving the biggest smile he could, stating how much he would treasure it. All he got was a sigh but there was a small smile to be seen.
Time went by faster than he anticipated and his chest started to feel tighter.
“... just a bit more…” He thought.
Ignoring the sensation he watched how she ran up to him with some chicken skewers, telling him to try them. Walking around to different stalls trying all kinds of things and then eventually their archivist tells them that it’s time to go back.
Coming to a halt, falling behind as he looked up towards the sky. It was dyed in a fiery red colour, it was beautiful, almost painfully so. Hearing his name called out he turned around to look at them, she was waving at him telling him to hurry up and that there was always tomorrow as well. Hesitating before finally he started to jog over to catch up.
A warm smile settled onto his lips.
“There is always tomorrow…” A sense of defeat.
It was already dusk and the sun was slowly setting. A reminder.
Bidding goodnight to the other members, waving with a smile and wishing her sweet dreams, watching her as she went back to her room. Looking over to the one next to him and with a small smile he said good night and turned to go back to his room.
Getting stopped in his tracks he looked down to see a hand grabbing a hold of his wrist.
Meeting the gaze that was locked onto him. Leaving him bewildered but also confused. The grip tightened ever so slightly, feeling the hand softly moving down to take a hold of his. There was a gentle squeeze, asking for a response.
The urge to squeeze back was overwhelming, he searched for anything that would confirm his assumption. The red ear tips, the way the archivist glanced away for a split second and the careful pull. The answer was clear. No words could express how happy he currently was… the person he had been in love with for months actually reciprocated his feelings.
Casting his gaze down to look at the hand that held his, this is what he wanted, conflicted and torn. Biting his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. The burning sensation behind his eyes, tears threatening to escape. It didn’t matter what he wanted, already knowing what he had to do.
A heartfelt genuine smile decorated his lips.
Slowly letting his hand slip out of the other’s hand. His mind was already set. Although he wasn’t prepared for the expression his friend would have. The shock was clear and he gripped his hand once more almost in desperation, the way his teal eyes were searching for a reason almost broke him. Gently placing his hand on top of the other’s, carefully removing it.
“Thank you” A soft whisper.
Looking back up to face him, not aware that his smile was now wavering, eyes slowly tearing up. A perplexed yet concerned expression covering his friend's face. An expression that didn’t suit their archivist.
“I’ll see you tomorrow” His voice cracked.
Turning around, not looking back as he walked into his room. Closing the door, leaving the person he likes all alone in the hallway. Locking it before he slid down the door onto the floor.
Once the sound of footsteps walking away could be heard, he slowly pulled his knees to his chest. Staying in that position for a long time.
It wasn’t until he felt his chest starting to burn that he stood up, walked over to the window and placed his hands on the windowsill. Gazing at the sun that now was almost gone. The dark blue hue gradually took over the red one. Watching until the sun finally set.
Hanging his head low, glaring at his hands. All kinds of emotions welled up inside of him, anger, frustration and sadness were some of them. The tears he held back until now finally started to fall, trickling down his cheeks.
Taking a hold of the curtains and slowly closed them, but he didn’t let go just yet.
Grip tightening as if it was his last lifeline. Sinking to his knees, still not letting go out of desperation. His body felt like it was on fire, it was painful, but his heart hurt even more.
He never told anyone what was going on and the symptoms had started a few weeks ago, he knew it was just a matter of time. There were so many things he wanted to do. He wanted to stay, whether it be saving planets or doing small random miscellaneous tasks. All he wanted was to stay, side by side with his companions, especially next to him. The one he loved.
The choice of never initiating or telling him about his feelings were out of hope that it would hurt less when they would realise that he would be gone by the morning.
Seeing his skin starting to glow gold and the way his body slowly started to disappear he knew that his time was finally up.
“Please… I beg you…” He whimpered.
Images of what could have been, surged his mind. Heart filled with regret of not being able to do all the things he wanted to do. Even so, he was still grateful of what time he did get with them.
“I only wanted more time with them… with him”