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Jay and Tim sat in the car for a moment, the only sound to be heard was the chirping of birds peeking through the open car window which was cycling out smoke.
Tim was sitting in the drivers seat, momentarily smoking to ease his worries about going into the emergency room.
They desperately needed to go inside, but Tim’s anxiety was creating a barrier between the pair and getting further help.
Jay breathed in, hesitant on his next step.
”Listen, we have to go in at some point. I know you’re anxious but-“
”It’s a little more than just anxiety, Jay,” Tim snapped, turning to face the taller man who sat in the passenger seat, “I’m absolutely terrified of going in there. So, god fucking forbid I want to take a moment for myself.” Tim’s hand trembled, causing embers to gently fall from the cigarette that was in his hand. Jay noticed the behavior, immediately feeling bad for pushing. He recoiled in his seat, looking down at his hands in his lap.
”I’m… I’m sorry, I just didn’t want your ankle to-“
”It’s fine,” Tim’s tone shifted, a twang of guilt seeping through his words, “I’ll be fine to go in soon it’s just… it’s just difficult right now.” Jay breathed, tension leaving his lungs to make way for relief. Tim went back to smoking, letting the silence fill the car once more.
They sat like that for about five minutes until Tim reached the end of his cigarette. He flicked it out of the window before promptly closing it.
”Alright, I’m ready whenever you are.” Tim stated, taking the keys out of the ignition. Jay got out of the car, closing his door behind him before making his way to the driver side door and opening it for Tim. He offered his hand out for Tim to grab.
”Here, I’ll help you.” Tim nodded, taking Jay’s hand and attempting to pull himself out of the car. He failed, accidentally applying pressure to his left foot.
”Shit!” Tim yelped before Jay immediately rushed closer to Tim, shuffling himself so that Tim’s arm could wrap around his shoulder.
”I’ve got you-“
“Goddamn it!” Tim grumbled in pain as he adjusted himself around Jay, “Fucking hell… let’s just go in.” He stood up, fully using Jay as a crutch and having his left foot hovering in the air.
”Yeah, yeah.” Tim shut the door of the car shut with his free hand before allowing Jay to guide him to the doors of the hospital; a pit of dread filling his stomach as the dizzying familiar hospital smell slowly crept upon his senses.
He tried to further shake the feeling as they reached the automatic doors and stepped through, going up to the check in desk. The front desk worker immediately looked over at the pair, a look of concern written across her face.
”Hello, what can I help you guys with?”
“Uh… I injured my ankle and I think it might be broken.” She looked over the counter at Tim’s ankle to try and assess the injury. Tim pulled up his pant leg to show her better, but the denim once again sending sharp jolts of pain up his leg. The moment she saw the injury, her eyes immediately widened.
“Okay- uh-“ She turned around, typing something on her computer before turning back to the men, “What’s your name?”
”My name is Tim Wright.” He cleared his throat, shooting Jay a side glance to make sure he was still with him. She typed more on her computer, then looked over at Tim once more.
”Go have a seat, someone will be out with you shortly.” Tim nodded.
”Okay, thank you.” She nodded, giving him and Jay a sympathetic smile as they hobbled over to the chairs. Jay leaned down, assisting Tim into one of the seats. As Tim winced out in pain, Jay plopped down in the chair next to Tim’s.
”God-fucking-dammit,” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I can’t wait for this to be done and over with.” Tim closed his eyes, taking deep breaths as he leaned his head back.
”Yeah, tell me about it.” Jay chuckled. They sat in silence again, the sheer gravity of the situation was finally weighing on the both of them. This meant that with Tim’s ankle and Jay’s probable concussion, that they weren’t able to continue their investigation for a long while.
Silence lingered in the air for a moment before Tim opened his eyes, looking over at Jay with a pleading expression on his face.
”Tell me it’s okay? Tell me it’ll be okay, Jay, please?” Jay looked back at Tim as the weight of the question sunk on his shoulders. Those eyes— no, Tim’s eyes— it was as if Jay couldn’t lie to them, no matter how much he wanted to.
“It’s not okay, but it will be,” He paused for a moment, resisting the urge to reach out and hold Tim’s face, “It will be because I’m here with you, and you’re here with me. We’re in this together.” Jay smiled, hoping that it would mean enough to Tim for him to say that.
”Together.” Tim mumbled, swallowing down the urge to cry. His mind was filled with fear, he didn’t want to face this alone and now he knew that he didn’t have to. Jay was here with him in all of this, and it didn’t seem like he was going anywhere anytime soon. That’s all that mattered to him.
Suddenly, a door bursting open to their left interrupted the moment. Tim immediately looked over, putting back on his mask of strength before facing whatever was there.
”Tim? Come on back, we’re ready for you.” A nurse holding a clipboard smiled while motioning for him to follow her. Tim looked over at Jay for help, at which point Jay sprung up, immediately propping himself up in such a manner that would make it easiest for Tim. Tim once again wrapped his arm around Jay, crutching over to the doorway and following the nurse. Jay cleared his throat before speaking.
”Uh, so, will I be able to be back here with him?” The nurse glanced back for a moment.
”You’ll be able to be back here for the initial triage, but you will have to leave after that if you’re not immediately family.” Jay blinked, glancing at Tim before speaking.
”Yeah, he’s my brother.” Jay lied as Tim gave him a smirk at his mediocre ability to bullshit on the spot. The nurse stopped, turning around and holding her hand out towards a room.
”Good, well, head on in.” She flashed them a smile as they both awkwardly returned it, following her hand into the room. It was small, holding two chairs and various medical devices. Jay helped Tim into the chair that sat in the middle of everything before sitting in the chair that was in the corner. The nurse followed in, grabbing a finger heart monitor before standing in front of Tim.
”Alright, let me take your vitals really quick then we can take a look at your ankle.” Tim nodded, biting the inside of his cheek as he held out his hand.
As she took his vitals, Tim’s right leg was bouncing up and down slightly, as to not disturb any readings but to also let him release some of the tension that was rapidly building in his body. Jay wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold him close, just so that Tim wouldn’t worry anymore.
Once she finished taking his vitals, Tim stared intently at a tile on the floor as she wrote on the clipboard. Then, she looked up, clearing her throat.
“So, what brings you in today?” Tim snapped out of his trance, looking over at Jay before making eye contact with her.
”Oh- uh, so, we were on a walk in the park earlier, when I tripped on a rock and busted up my ankle.” Tim cleared his throat, looking at his ankle before taking a deep breath and lifting up his pant leg to show the nurse. The nurse knelt down, looking closely at Tim’s injury. She gave a kind of look that you never want to see any sort of doctor have when assessing a patient.
”Alright, well, right off the bat I can say that,” She points at Tim’s ankle while standing up, “Looks like an open fracture. Typically speaking, we need to do surgery in order to correct it because it’s incapable of healing on its own.” She placed her hands on her hips, weighing her options for a moment.
”So,” Jay spoke, causing her to turn around to look at him, “What you’re saying is that we need to stay here overnight?” Jay glanced over at Tim, sensing his ever growing panic about the situation at hand. The nurse laughed for a moment before responding.
”It’d be a miracle if you were only here overnight. The least amount of time you’d spend here with an injury like that,” She glanced up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment, “About a week. That’s not even considering any complications that might occur.” Tim sighed, fidgeting with his hands.
”Okay.” Tim accepted, causing Jay to scrunch his eyebrows at how quickly Tim folded at the order. It wasn’t like him, but he figured that with everything that was happening, he was allowed to act out of character for a bit. The nurse gave Tim an apologetic smile, sensing his apathy even through his acceptance.
”It will be okay. Look at it this way,” Tim looked up at her, “It’s good that you came in, because if you let it sit any longer, it would’ve gotten infected and we would’ve had to amputate your entire leg.” Tim nodded as Jay was studying his behavior. Although to the nurse, Tim seemed fine, Jay knew that Tim was far from it. He wasn’t fighting— despite how reluctant he was to come here. Regardless, he let it slide for the time being.
”True,” Tim coughed, “Uh, so, what are we going to do now?”
”Well, I’m going to go get a room set up for you for the night, then we will discuss surgery options, and then we will go through with whatever we decide tomorrow. Does that sound good?” She questioned, looking back and forth between Tim and Jay for confirmation.
”Sounds good.” Jay smiled.
”Yeah, that works.” Tim smiled as well before the nurse gave a smile of her own.
“Perfect! I’ll go do that, you guys hit the call button if you need anything in the time being!” She nodded before briskly walking out of the room and closing the door, leaving the men to each other. Tim’s smile immediately fell, his gaze lingering on the door as he zoned out. Jay noticed his sudden shift in demeanor. He knew he had to say something, but he hesitated, clearing his throat before speaking.
”Look,” Tim jumped, snapping his head to look at Jay, “You don’t have to talk to me, but I know something is off with you. You’re never like this unless if hospitals are mentioned, what’s going on?” Jay leaned forward in his seat, looking into Tim’s eyes. Tim swallowed anxiously, his knee bouncing even more aggressively than before. A heavy pressure filling his entire body, almost making it impossible to move or do anything. Tim’s chest started to rise and fall rapidly as sweat gathered on his forehead.
There was a long pause of silence before Tim spoke.
”Listen-“ Tim’s almost invisible voice choked before he forced it back out again, “I- I can’t even begin to explain it, Jay. This place isn’t safe and- I… I know it’s irrational to be afraid, but- everything is just taking me back and I can’t help feeling like it’s all a trick just to trap me again. It- it-“ Tim’s voice no longer wanted to cooperate, shutting down his throat. It made it impossible to breathe and he started to gasp for air. Tears poured out of his eyes as his upper body curled in on itself. Jay sprung up out of his chair and to Tim’s side.
”Hey- hey,” Jay panicked, not knowing what to do, “Tim, look at me.” Tim quivered, unable to look up at Jay as tears fell from his face and onto his pants. Jay felt helpless, his mind racing with what to do. He hadn’t ever seen Tim like this— sure, he’d seen him cry, but he’d never seen Tim in this state. It was as if he was trapped in the hell that was his past, unable to claw himself out. Tim cradled himself, starting to rock back and forth before mumbling something.
”S- Sorry what did you say, Tim?” Jay questioned.
“Get away from me, get- get… let me out!” Tim, not in reply but rather in instinct, yelled out, causing Jay to jump back, “Let me out, let me out of here!” Tim suddenly looked up at Jay, fear filled his eyes as he began to hit Jay and push him away. Jay took a grip of Tim’s hands to try and calm him down.
“Look- Tim, it’s just me, it’s Jay, I’m not here to hurt you-“ Tim lashed back against Jay, ripping his arms free from Jay’s grasp.
”No, no! You’re a liar!” Tim tried to stand up to run, but immediately collapsed because of his ankle, “Fuck! What did you do?” Tim looked up at Jay, who was now backed into the corner of the room, with an expression of hurt.
”Tim, I didn’t hurt you. You tripped in the woods-“
“Let me out! Let me leave!” Tim sobbed, trying to crawl on the floor towards the door. Jay stood in place, not knowing what to do.
Suddenly, the door swung open and the nurse looked wide eyed at the situation that unfolded before her eyes. She looked over at Jay, who looked at her with pleading eyes. Tim stopped at the sight of the nurse, his face filled with fear and tears.
”What happened?!” The nurse asked before Jay shook his head lightly.
“I- I don’t know, I think he’s having some sort of flashback, he doesn’t do well with hospitals.” Tim backed into the corner, howling in pain as his ankle dragged on the floor. He bumped into medical equipment, but it seemed invisible to him as he cradled himself in a self-soothing manner.
”Okay, uh-“
”Please! Stay away, I didn’t do anything, I swear!” Tim cried out, interrupting the nurse. She stood there, looking back and forth between Jay and Tim, taking in the information. She entered the room slowly, closing the door behind her. The action seemed to make Tim cower even more.
”Hey- It’s okay, I’m not like them, okay?” Tim shook his head.
”No, no! The last one who said that lied! Stay the fuck away from me!” Tim sobbed out, his breathing was heavily wheezed and shaky. The nurse slowly approached Tim, crouching down to his level.
”I promise.” She spoke so gently that if Jay wasn’t paying attention, he wouldn’t have heard her say anything at all. Tim looked up at her, his eyes filled with fear and distrust. Jay cleared his throat, slowly walked towards Tim, and knelt down next to the nurse.
”Tim, look at me,” Jay didn’t continue until Tim met his gaze, “Remember, we’re in this together.” It was as if those words alone brought Tim back to the present, causing him to let go of the hug he held himself in.
”Together.” He nodded, taking a deep breath.
”See, he’s here,” The nurse said while gesturing to Jay, “and he trusts me. I won’t hurt you, Tim, I promise. Now, let’s get you up and back into the chair. The floor can’t be too comfortable.” She gave a willing smile as she held out her hand to Tim. He flinched at the gesture, still wary of her intentions. Tim looked at her a long while, trying to find any indication of a lie in her words. He couldn't tell.
”Are you sure about her, Jay?” Tim asked, looking in Jay’s eyes, pleading for him to tell the truth he would be able to detect.
”I am sure about her, she isn’t here to hurt you.” Tim looked back at the nurse, taking her hand and allowing for her to help him up off the ground. Jay stood up, backing up to give the nurse space to help Tim up.
”Good job,” She said while guiding Tim to the chair, “Here you go.” Tim plopped down in the chair, taking a steady breath.
”I’m sorry, sometimes I get like that.” Tim apologized, looking down at the tile.
”Hey, you don’t need to apologize. I understand, it happens. I will be here with you during your stay to make sure you’re safe here, okay?” Tim looked up at her.
“Okay.” He nodded, giving her a genuine smile.
”Now, I have to continue setting up your room,” She turned around to look at Jay, “Once again, hit the call button if you need anything.” She nodded before slowly leaving the room, making sure to gently shut the door behind her. Once she was gone, Jay slowly pulled up his chair so that it was right next to Tim’s. He sat down before reaching over to grab Tim’s hand.
”Are you okay?” Jay asked, looking over at Tim.
”I’m sorry-“
”Don’t, because you don’t need to.” Tim looked over to Jay, his eyes filled with pure appreciation for the taller man.
”Okay,” He nodded, “I’m okay now, because… because I know I can trust you.” Jay smiled before leaning in to hug Tim over the chairs. Tim hugged him back, resting his head in the nook of Jay’s neck.
”We’re in this together.” Jay assured.
”Together.” Tim confirmed.