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Crowley sat stifly in one of the bookshops armchairs, staring into nothingness with his arms crossed in front of his chest and his legs stretched out. He was pissed. Pissed at a certain angel who just decided to return to his bookshop after a long absence with the intention of reconciliation. Something Crowley was absolutely not in for. Not after Aziraphale hadn’t listened to him and left to heaven instead, leaving him lonely and heartbroken.
"Crowley, I would really like to talk to you," Said angel spoke, approaching the armchair Crowley was sitting on, his voice still somewhat confident.
The demon however remained silent, not moving an inch not reacting in the slightest. Simply staring ahead as if he never heard Aziraphale's words.
So the angel crouched down next to him.
"But if you're not ready to hear my apology yet, I will wait. For however long you need."
The other snorted.
"Didn’t think that's how you want to spend your eternity. But I'm not gonna stop you. Have fun."
With that he leapt up from his seat and walked toward the exit of the bookshop, destined to escape the situation.
Aziraphale followed him with his eyes, remaining silent until Crowley had already reached the door.
"They're planning the Second Coming."
That made the demon pause with his hands already on the doorknob. Eyes widening behind his glasses. Out of the corner of his eyes he glanced at Aziraphale before quickly putting on an angry and nonchalant expression again. Couldn’t let the angel know how he was really feeling.
"So what?"
"They will destroy the whole world, Crowley…"
With another blow of air from his nose, the demon turned his head further away to hide any possible glimpse of his true emotions coming through the facade.
"So? You said it yourself... Nothing lasts forever."
And with that he exited the shop, leaving Aziraphale to himself.
Without looking back he stomped toward his Bentley, suddenly pausing when he saw… it.
The bonnet. Was yellow.
Of course. Of course his car had noticed Aziraphale’s return and turned yellow!
"Oh no you won't be doing any of this," he snarled and snapped his fingers to miracle the bonnet back to black. Then he walked to the driver's door to – what. Why didn't it open?
He pulled on the handle again. Nothing. Still locked.
"Oh you little…" Crowley growled at his car and snapped his fingers a second time to miracle the door open. He pulled at the door again and still – it was locked. The demon let out a frustrated growl.
"Fine! You don't wanna let me in? I'll just walk then!"
And so he did. He turned on his heel and walked the other way, leaving Whickber street by foot.
Judging by the concerned gazes he received as he walked down the street, he had to be smoking from fury. But he didn’t care.
When a stranger politely tried to express their concern he simply shot them an angry look and hissed, making them turn away immediately.
Fucking great. Fantastic! Aziraphale was back. And of course he acted all "Oh I'm so sorry I finally realised you were right all along". For fucks sake of course he was right! Aziraphale should've just listened to him from the beginning! And of-fucking-course they were planning the Second coming! Of course they had to take away everything that Crowley had left in his miserable existence! And of course now Aziraphale wanted him to help! Of bloody course!
A droplet of water hit his face, sizzling as it touched his burning skin.
It was starting to rain.
Oh of course it was starting to rain!
Bloody angel returning to bloody earth and now everything was running downhills! Not that he hadn’t already hit rock bottom. Because he had. Right when Aziraphale had left.
The rain grew more intense, the water turning into steam upon hitting him. This way he would be soaked once he arrived at his destination – which was the park. He could simply miracle the rain away or put a miracle on himseld to stay dry. But he couldn’t care less. He felt like being dramatic right now.
And mad. Incredibly mad.
Even his car was betraying him now! Of course it was! Running to Aziraphale like it had been expected of Crowley to do. And why? Because he's an angel? Pff! Angel his demonic ass! Angels, demons, heaven, hell, all of them could just go to… hell? Well whatever. They could go somewhere extremely unpleasant.
The rain had grown quite intense by now, soaking all of Crowley’s clothes and making his hair stick to his face in a wet mess. At least it had cooled him down so he was now no longer smoking. Though instead he was starting to grow a little cold…
No other than expected, the demon arrived at the park completely drenched. Though the rain had at least toned down a little by now.
Annoyed he sat down at the bench, arms crossed in front of his chest. It was his usual bench, formerly, their usual bench.
Maybe observing the birds could calm him a little.
There were ducks swimming in the pond, happily enjoying the slight rain, cleaning their feathers thoroughly, wagging their tails in excitement.
During the time Aziraphale was gone Crowley would sometimes visit and feed the ducks. (He'd probably never admit to it but he rather liked the little rascals.)
And there were swans, he now noticed. A black and a white one. Happily swimming in the pond, keeping their distance from the other animals. Lovingly bowing their necks, creating a heart shape between them.
"Oh I get it. Very funny." Crowley grumbled. Who this statement was directed at he didn't entirely know. Possibly at god for making such a bad joke yet again. At the worst possible time.
"Is this seat taken…?" A gentle voice coming up from behind him asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.
Crowley turned his head just slightly. He didn't need to look at them to know who it was. "Tsk. Not that you care."
Aziraphale walked around the bench and sat down next to the demon, a tartan umbrella in his hand that he now used to cover both of them. He simply looked at Crowley for a long moment, the demon's gaze fixed straight ahead, brows furrowed. (Others would probably say he looked like a wet cat right now but of course, considering Crowley's animalic form was that of a snake, that description would be unfitting.)
"My dear, you are all soaked through from the rain. You must be cold," Aziraphale broke the silence.
Crowley simply scoffed. "M' a demon, I don't get cold."
Needless to say that was a lie. He was indeed very cold.
The angel knew that of course. With a wave of his hand Crowley's clothes were dry in the blink of an eye. With another flick of his hand Crowley was covered in a tartan blanket.
All the demon did in response was make a dismissive noise, still avoiding Aziraphale's gaze. Though he did feel a lot warmer and comfortable now – but there's no way he'd admit that to Aziraphale.
"Crowley… I know you don't want to hear my apology. And so I won't say it, as much as I would like to… But I can not believe that you have no interest in saving the world. In fact I am certain you do."
"Well, what if you're wrong?"
"...Pardon?"
"What if I don’t care?"
The raindrops made little tapping noises as they landed on the umbrella. In the distance the ducks were quacking happily.
"Then I suppose I would have to try and stop the second coming by myself. But I'm not sure I could do it without you by my side. Without my… best friend."
Crowley turned to look at him through his glasses, though only shortly before he averted his gaze again. He felt too tired to continue this argument. Aziraphale wouldn’t stop, there was no point in trying.
"How'd you even get here?" He asked instead. "Did you follow me or what?"
"No dear. I took the car"
"The car!?" Crowley's head whipped around.
"Yes… When I left the bookshop it was standing on the curb with its door open. I didn't even need to drive, it knew just took me to where you were."
The demon snarled. "Oh that traitorous little…"
Aziraphale couldn't help a chuckle. "I assume it didn't want us to part again."
At which Crowley turned away again, visibly pouting. "Well it's not my fault that happened in the first place."
Aziraphale didn't reply but Crowley could feel the angels gaze on himself. And he hated it. He knew what he said wasn't entirely true. But he didn’t want to admit that. No way.
For a while neither said anything, Crowley’s jaw tightening under the weight of Aziraphale's gaze. Until he couldn't bare the angel's stare anymore, blurting out a "Fine!" Through gritted teeth. "It was... partially my fault. Alright? But it's not my fault you left me!"
"I had asked you to join me…" Aziraphale replied carefully.
"In Heaven, Aziraphale! Join you in Heaven!" Crowley yelled, not even caring about the passerbys that stopped to look at them for a moment. "The place that cast me out, the place that treated me like… like shit! The place that nearly killed you in hellfire!"
He heard Aziraphale sigh.
"I know…"
At which Crowley faced him once more, a little surprised at the quick surrender. He had expected Aziraphale to argue for much longer.
"And I now know how badly they treated me-…er y–…well… you when looked like me… back then…"
Crowley huffed, releasing the air he had collected in his lungs to snap another furious response at the angel – which now seemed neither fitting nor necessary anymore. He furrowed his brows.
"How do you mean…?"
A sigh escaped the angels lips.
"I looked at the file, up in heaven… They really… did quite a number on you... or me... well… you know what I mean."
Crowley turned away at the unpleasant feeling this memory awoke in him. Gabriel telling Aziraphale to shut his stupid mouth and die already… Oh how he had wanted to grab that stupid archangel by that stupid grey suit of his and pull him into the hellfire…
Continuing in a gentle tone, the angel pulled Crowley from his thoughts.
"You never told me about that..."
"Mm no well…" he mumbled, trying to think of a nonchalant response to hide how he truly felt about the incident. "Thought it was irrelevant."
"Crowley they… told me to shut up and… die…"
The demon sighed in defeat. He couldn’t possibly pretend to not care about that.
"Fine, I guess I was trying to protect you… Kay? Happy now?"
Aziraphale sighed, not finding the right words to respond. And so they remained silent for what felt like an eternity, the rain that drummed against the umbrella carrying the pause.
"I know…" Aziraphale eventually admitted in a surrendered tone before adding "So was I… when I went to heaven…"
The demon's head spun around at that. This time Aziraphale was the one looking away with his eyes lowered.
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"I… I mean... I wanted to protect you… From their punishment… They had threatened to... hurt you…"
Crowley stared at the angel in disbelief, unsuccessfully searching his gaze.
"…Hurt me? How…?"
Aziraphale took a shaky breath.
"The Metatron he... he threatened to erase us from the book of life… That's why I had to go. And I knew I either had to take you with me or… leave you so you would be safe… So when you said you didn't want to come to heaven with me…" he trailed off.
Still, he had said enough for the other to understand.
The realisation hit Crowley like a truck – his eyes went wide in horror. And for a little while he couldn't get any words out, opening his mouth only to close it again.
"Is that… what you wanted to tell me…?" he eventually asked, his voice sounding strangled.
The angel met his gaze now, his expression full of sadness and most of all exhaustion. Something told Crowley he had looked like this the entire time but he hadn’t noticed. Not until now. Not until he understood.
"Among other things yes… But I've also been meaning to apologise… for how it all went down… and for the way I reacted when you… you know…"
Slowly, Crowley breathed out. His voice was quiet now, not accusing anymore but remorseful instead.
"You really… only did all this to protect… me?"
"Of course I also tried to preserve my own existence along the way… but mainly… yes, that is correct…"
Crowley’s face grew sadder at the realisation of what all that implied.
"Aziraphale, I…"
But the angel interrupted him, as if he didn’t feel he deserved whatever the demon wanted to say.
"It's quite alright, really… I understand why you reacted the way you did…"
The last few raindrops tapped against the umbrellas fabric, filling the quiet that lingered in the air. The ducks had swum off by now, while the swans continued their loving dance, unbothered.
Still, Crowley wanted to say what he had on his mind. Express the guilt he was feeling now, voice so low you could easily overhear it if you didn't pay enough attention.
"Angel I'm… I'm so sorry…"
Aziraphale's expression softened.
"Oh my dear boy… I should be the one to apologise"
The demon however shook his head.
"No, I should have listened to you. I shouldn’t have stormed off."
"Crowley… You couldn't have known…"
"But I should have trusted you!" the demon shot back.
The sudden raise in his voice caught Aziraphale off guard, leaving a few seconds of heavy silence between them.
Until finally, the angel sighed.
"Oh my dear… I assure you it is quite alright…"
Crowley exhaled slowly, visibly out of words. He untangled his arms from the blanket to reach for his glasses, taking them off and putting them in a pocket inside his jacket.
He took only a short glance at Aziraphale’s tender eyes before he couldn't handle it anymore, lowering his own in shame and guilt. It didn't even matter to him if people saw his demonic eyes now. All he cared about now was Aziraphale and this unwell feeling in his own guts. This unbearable feeling of guilt that was overcoming him.
Though it didn't take long until he could feel the angels soft and warm palm on his leg, just beside his own hand.
"I hold no resentment toward you, Crowley. Quite the opposite in fact… But no matter the intention, still hurt you. And I am so very sorry that I did…"
Their eyes met, either filled with so much emotion that it was both hard to look away and to hold the gaze.
"Yeah… me too", the demon replied softly.
Aziraphale offered a gentle smile in return and Crowley let his gaze shift to the hand resting on his leg, taking it in his.
Both took a deep breath, seemingly needing a moment to take it all in.
"Maybe we should just… make sure none of this happens again…" the angel quietly suggested after a while, his eyes wandering to their entwined hands.
"Yeah…" the other agreed.
"Try not to talk at crossed purposes…" Aziraphale added, voice low and thoughtful.
"Try talking in general. You know. Say what we're really thinking…"
"Yes… I suppose we would benefit from that…"
"T's what Nina and Maggie said."
The angel scrunched his brows. "Pardon?"
"Nina and Maggie. They told me we never say what we're really thinking. It's why I told you in the first place. All that... you and me stuff."
Aziraphale couldn't quite find the right words to respond so instead he simply squeezed the demons hand gently, raised his eyes and observed the angular but now seemingly softer features of Crowley’s face as the demon thought about something.
"Do you... want it now?" Crowley asked without looking up, trying to act like his question was casual when he really felt anything but casual about it.
"Do I want… what exactly?"
"The you and me stuff." he clarified, his hand twitching slightly in Aziraphale’s out of nervousness.
He heard the angel huff softly.
"Crowley… my dear… I haven't wanted anything else quite as much for hundreds if not thousands of years."
A surprised pair of snake-like eyes met Aziraphale’s.
"Wh-… Really?"
The angel furrowed his brows as if Crowley had asked something that had a very obvious answer.
"Really."
And all Crowley managed in response was a strangled noise.
He thought for a moment before asking the next question: "Then... how on earth did we manage to beat about the bush for that long…?"
"I believe we were rather silly… my dear boy…"
A chuckle broke from Crowley. "Guess we were…"
And Aziraphale couldn't fight a laugh either.
Their eyes met yet again once their laughter had faded, both with a certain softness to them.
And there was something else as well, something not quite new but something they hadn’t allowed themselves to ever address either.
They had observed at the other with this look in their eyes before, but never had they allowed themselves to do it when the other was also looking.
And unfortunately they didn’t find the courage to address it now either… Not quite yet.
"I… I think we no longer need this" Aziraphale murmured as he lowered the umbrella. Neither had noticed until now that the rain had stopped sometime during their conversation.
"Oh uh… yeah…" Crowley mumbled.
The angel gently freed his hand from his touch to close the umbrella before turning slightly to lean it against the side of the bench, already regretting breaking the moment they just had.
Though when he returned his attention to Crowley his gaze was still fixed on him, just as intensely as before, if not even more longing. A look that made him feel like he would melt on the spot.
Aziraphale's breathing hitched. He stared back, taking in those amber eyes he loved so much. Noticing how the demon's slit pupils were slightly larger than usual. How those eyes looked at him like noone else ever did or would.
Observing as a drop from Crowley's still wet hair trailed its way down his face.
Oh… how could he have been so unobservant? His hair was still wet…
Slowly Aziraphale raised his hand, wiping the strand of hair from Crowley’s face with a gentle brush of his fingers, the hair miraculously dry once he reached the demon's temple. His fingers came to a rest against Crowley’s cheeks, barely touching the slightly flushed skin in uncertainty.
Crowley’s eyes went wide for a moment, gaze instinctively flickering to the angels lips and back up.
Which Aziraphale noticed.
Making them both hold their breath for a moment.
"So uhm… when you said you were sorry for how you reacted back then, did you mean you… you know… wanted to…?"
"Yes" Aziraphale breathed, not hesitating for even a second. "Oh yes I absolu-"
Before he could finish the sentence Crowley had already pulled him closer into a kiss, cupping the angel's cheeks with his hands.
It took Aziraphale a heartbeat to realise what was happening and right when he was about to close his eyes and lean into the kiss, Crowley had already pulled back again.
"Shit, sorry angel, I should've let you finish – Did you really want to-"
And before he could finish his sentence, Aziraphale was already grabbing the nape of his neck and kissing him back passionately. So Crowley simply closed his eyes and leaned into the angel's lips, into the sensation he never thought he'd get to feel again, the lips he never thought he'd get to taste again. The tenderness and eagerness, the longing, the love in this kiss.
When they parted, their hands remained in place, only their eyes opened and met.
"We really gotta let each other finish our sentences," Crowley uttered under his breath.
And Aziraphale chuckled in response.
"Shall we go home?"
"Home?" Crowley repeated, scrunching his brows.
"You know… the bookshop."
Crowley opened his mouth only to close it again when he realised he couldn't possibly find the right words to express the adoration he felt right now.
"Yeah. Let's go. Maybe my car will let me in now," he smirked, flicking his fingers to miracle away the blanket.
To which the angel grinned.
"Oh I'm sure it will."
They got up and wordlessly entwined their hands, strolling toward where the Bentley was parked, the umbrella (that had also miraculously dried) tucked under Aziraphale’s arm.
"Now off we go. We have a lot to discuss," the angel cheerfully announced.
"Yup. Seems we got a world to save. Again. Got any ideas?"
"I might just have the perfect plan…"
Crowley grinned at his angel.
"Course you do."