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There Buck was, for what felt like the hundredth time, sitting in the hospital at the bedside of someone he loved. He supposed part of him should be grateful it wasn’t him this time, seeing as his medical debt kept stacking and his insurance premium kept climbing. But as he stared at the messy tuft of dark brown hair sprawled out on a bleach white pillow and the pink lips parted around a large breathing tube, he couldn’t even begin to think about seeing some kind of silver lining. He dug his nails into the palms of his hands that were resting on his lap and tried to push down the guilt and hopelessness that gnawed at his gut.
Just seventy-two hours ago, the 118 were responding to a kitchen fire that had grown into a significant blaze. The restaurant, the apartments above it, and the store next door had all been engulfed by the time they arrived on the scene. The crews had made quick work of rescuing victims, except for one. A younger teenager who worked at the restaurant had been hiding in the pantry, apparently crying because the manager had yelled at her. The door to the pantry was pinned closed by fallen debris, and crews were arguing about how best to extract her. Eddie and Buck had both grown tired of the debating and arguing, and both felt the urgency of getting this girl out. They grabbed some equipment and ran in, the sound of captains yelling at them to stop following them inside.
They were able to extract the girl, Buck carrying her out in his arms. Eddie was supposed to be following close behind. As Buck exited the building and handed the teenager off to medical, the building groaned. Buck turned around to look at Eddie, only to watch as heavy debris fell directly on top of him.
Buck, of course, had immediately run back in and started trying to pry the debris off of Eddie with his own gloved hands. Other firefighters had run in with equipment as soon as they heard the crashing, but it was minutes before they were able to drag an unconscious Eddie out. Hen and Chim rushed over to start treating him as Buck panicked and begged Eddie to stay alive.
He was rushed to the hospital, where doctors determined that he had sustained a significant head injury which caused a bleed in the brain, as well as multiple shattered ribs and a collapsed lung. He was in surgery for hours, with the 118 as well as Maddie, Chris, and Pepa panicking in the waiting room. Pepa and Buck sat with Chris, comforting him the best they could and assuring him that his dad would be okay.
The breath of relief that was released as doctors informed everyone that Eddie was alive would eventually be okay could have been heard three wings away. However, they informed everyone that he would need to be in a medically induced coma for at least two weeks.
That's how Buck had ended up here, watching over a comatose Eddie like some kind of fucked up guardian angel. Chris had begrudgingly gone to school, and all of the others were on shift. Bobby, however, insisted that Buck take the time off until Eddie woke up. Buck didn’t argue, he had ten days paid time off anyway, and he didn’t think he could really function at work while his best friend lay comatose in the hospital.
When the door to the room opened, Buck turned to see who was coming in. His stomach dropped, and he dug his nails even harder into his skin.
Standing in front of Buck was Ramon and Helena Diaz. Now, Buck hadn’t had much experience with Eddie's parents, but what he did have, didn’t exactly paint them in a positive light. He sat in his chair staring at them, confused. They had never come to LA after one of Eddie's near-death experiences before, so what were they doing here now?
“Hello. Buck, right?” Helena greeted with a practiced smile.
“Yeah. Hi.” Buck replied.
“So nice to see you again.” Buck could tell that Helena was lying straight through her teeth. “We heard what happened.” Ramon and Helena stepped closer to Eddies bed.
Buck couldn’t think of who had called them to tell them what happened. “Oh?”
“Yes, it's awful, isn’t it? His job is just so dangerous.” Helena said wistfully. She stepped close to Eddie, putting her hand on his hair. Buck couldn’t help but think that she looked like she barely cared about what had happened to Eddie.
“Uh, yeah. He got hurt saving a teenage girl in the restaurant.”
“Mmm…” Helena hummed, unimpressed. “Where is Christopher?” She asked, turning to look at her husband.
“He’s at school. He has a big biology lab today.” Buck shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He couldn’t help but notice how quickly the conversation had shifted from Eddie to Christopher.
“Why would he be at school? While his dad is here?” Ramon chimed in, annoyed.
“Well, he was excited for the lab, and we don’t want him to miss too much school. Eddie wouldn’t want him to either.”
“But that's so traumatizing for a child! I mean, what is Eddie thinking?” Helena removed her hand from Eddie's hair and stepped away from the bed.
“Well, Eddie is in a coma…” Buck replied slowly, gesturing incredulously to the comatose man in the bed.
“Gosh, that poor child! His father is constantly having things like this happening, and he has to go to school the next day?” Helena's voice was rising. However, her indignation sounded fake, manufactured.
“He was out of school for two days, and today is a Friday. He’ll be here for the weekend.” Buck retorted back, his eyebrows scrunching. “And this kind of thing isn’t constant.”
Helena huffed, giving her husband a wide-eyed look. “He keeps traumatizing his poor child!” She turned to Buck, face set. “We will take care of Christopher while Eddie is here.” She said matter-of-factly, “and maybe after.” She muttered.
“What?” Buck asked, rising out of his chair.
Just then, the door opened again. This time, it was a woman in a clean grey pantsuit. “Actually,” she began coolly, beginning to open up a navy blue briefcase, “Mr. Diaz has given legal instructions on the temporary emergency guardianship of Christopher in the case of an event like this.”
“What?” It was Helena's turn to ask. “Who are you?”
“My name is Sylvia Morgan, Mr. Diaz’s attorney.” Sylvia introduced herself. She fished out a stack of papers from her briefcase and set the case on the floor. She cleared her throat and began to read: “Instructions for temporary emergency guardianship. In the case that I, Edmundo Miguel Diaz, am to become medically incapacitated or in any way unable to care for my son, Christopher Shay Diaz, temporary emergency guardianship shall be granted to Evan Oliver Buckley until I am no longer incapacitated.”
Buck felt his heart rate pick up and his chest surge with warmth. He couldn’t hold back a smile from creeping onto his face. He wanted to laugh out of pure joy knowing that Eddie trusted him with Christopher and knew that Buck loved that child like his own.
Helena, however, was less pleased to hear this news. She stood up straighter and flared her nostrils. “We are the child's grandparents!” She practically shouted. “This… this man,” she gestured towards Buck, “has absolutely no relation to Christopher! He’s just Eddie's friend.” She practically spit out the word ‘friend’ while glaring at Buck.
Sylvia stayed calm. “Unfortunately, that doesn’t matter, ma’am. Under the power of attorney, Mr. Diaz has legally instructed Mr. Buckley to assume temporary guardianship of Christopher.” She turned to Buck. “I assume you’re Mr. Buckley?” Buck nodded. “Excellent. Mr. Buckley has legal guardianship over Christopher until Mr. Diaz is no longer comatose.” Buck couldn’t help but notice the ghost of a smug smile on her face, as if Eddie had told her something like this would happen. “If there are no further questions, I must be heading back to the office.”
“We are Christopher's blood relatives! He can’t just be left in the care of this random guy!” Ramon huffed.
“The form is legally binding, sir. Mr. Diaz has assigned temporary guardianship to Mr. Buckley. If you want to fight it, you will have to do so when Mr. Diaz either wakes up or is declared deceased. In which case, Mr. Buckley is also assigned guardianship. I apologize for any confusion.” Sylvia stated, clearly getting tired of Ramon and Helena already. Ramon and Helena started sputtering in disbelief. Sylvia forced a tight smile. “Excellent.” She turned on her feet and exited the room.
Buck felt a flush of pride. He glanced over at Ramon and Helena, who both looked dumbfounded.
All of a sudden, Helena's face hardened and her eyes grew cold and angry, meeting Bucks. “You.” She pointed at Buck in anger. “Why would Eddie leave Christopher with you?” Her voice was scarily steady but as cold as ice.
“We are his grandparents. We know what's good for him.” Ramon joined in. “Do you even have any kids?”
“No, Mr. Diaz, but I’ve always loved and taken care of Christopher as my own.” Buck stood taller, knowing Eddie’s parents were going to try to challenge him and take Chris, no matter what Eddie’s legal documents said.
Helena laughed humorlessly, gesturing wildly. “What is that boy thinking? You aren’t Chris’ father, or his uncle, or anything! You are nothing to Christopher!”
Buck felt white-hot fury burn in his chest and behind his eyes. He wanted to lash out. He wanted to yell. But he knew he couldn’t. He set his jaw and took a deep breath. “If you have an issue, talk to Eddie about it when he wakes up.” He said carefully.
Helena took a step closer to Buck, sizing him up. “You’re confusing him. Both of them.” Her voice was quiet and cruel.
“What are you talking about?” Buck crossed his arms.
Helena scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You don’t think we see it? The way you are with Eddie?” She said, pointing at Eddie. “You act like you two are together. You act like you’re some kind of father to Christopher. Well, Buck,” she smiled coldly, “Every child needs a mother and a father. Christopher needs a mother. Edmundo needs a wife to settle down with. He had that with Shannon.” Buck scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. Helena seemed to find joy in it. “My son is not a queer. He is normal. You are not his boyfriend. He needs to find a nice woman and settle down, so he can forget about you. So you can finally get the hint and leave them both alone.” She hissed.
Bucks stomach sank and his mouth became dry. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never said I was his…” He trailed off quietly. Helena just scoffed and rolled her eyes again.
“You’ll back off. You’ll leave my son and my grandson alone without your… perversion. Edmundo is a Godly man. You’ve caused him to stray off that path.” Her tone was dangerous. Buck felt his face heat up with anger and embarrassment. She looked at her husband before storming out of the room, not even giving Eddie a final look. Ramon didn’t even bother to look at Buck before following.
Buck was left to reel with what just happened. His fists clenched. He knew Eddie’s parents were super conservative and shitty, but he didn't expect it to be that bad. It made him angry for Eddie. He was sure Eddie was straight, but it hurt his heart knowing that his parents wouldn’t accept him if he wasn’t.
He sighed and sat back down in his chair beside Eddie’s bed. He looked at his face. He looked so calm, even with a tube coming out of his throat and IV lines coming out of his arms. Buck found him utterly beautiful. He peeled his eyes away to look at the floor
He hated to admit it, but he knew Helena was right about a few things. Buck did act like they were together. Deep down, he wished they were. He knew Eddie was straight, and yet he wanted him anyway. Whenever he admitted to himself that he felt more for Eddie than a best friend should, he felt disgusting. He felt like a predator. Helena's words had strummed those feelings, bringing them to the forefront of his mind. He felt guilty. He never wanted to be that guy. The bisexual in love with his straight best friend. He always denied having feelings for Eddie, but he could only fool himself so much.
Buck's leg started bouncing quickly. He felt nauseous. He looked back up at Eddie. He sighed and bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to get the feelings out before they melted his insides like acid. What better time than when Eddie was comatose?
“Eddie.” Buck whispered, hesitating. “I don’t think you can hear, but… well, your mom and dad just found out that I’m Chris’ legal guardian right now. They’re not exactly happy about it.” Buck stopped talking and stayed silent for a minute, trying to think of what to say. “They… they told me that I was confusing you. You and Christopher. I… I’m wondering if they’re right. I mean, you’re a straight man and we’re supposed to be just best friends. And yet, I cling to you. Everything in my life is about you. I can’t go an hour without thinking of you. Without fantasizing about what could be. But it's wrong. I know it's wrong. I… I’m so sorry.” His eyes began to well up with tears. “God, look at me crying right now, as if I’m not the weirdo here.” He chuckled wetly. He took in a deep breath. “I will get over it. I’ll stop. I’ll stop nipping at your heels. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll be whatever you want. But, I’ll stop… confusing you. Confusing Chris.” He let out a shaky sigh and shook his head.
He stayed silent, just staring at Eddie, his head swimming with guilt. After a few hours, he heard a knock on the door. He turned to see Hen slowly opening the door, looking concerned.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Hen.”
“I… I came to take over the sitting vigil shift. You need to pick Chris up from school.” Buck nodded. “Are you okay?” Buck just shrugged and stood up.
“Thanks.” He whispered, walking past Hen but not looking at her.
He walked to his car in a daze, calming himself down and practicing some smiles before starting the engine to pick up Chris.
—-------
The next two weeks were a blur of hospital visiting hours, Buck trying his best to parent Chris without Eddie to guide him, guilt gnawing at his gut every time he climbed into Eddie's bed, and passive aggressive texts and calls from Helena and Ramon.
On a Monday afternoon, Buck was on his way to pick Chris up from school when a call from Chim lit up his phone.
“Hey, Chim. What’s up?”
“Buck. He’s awake.” Chim said simply.
Bucks heart rate tripled. “What? Is he really?”
“Yeah. Fair warning, though. His parents are here. They forced their way into his room before any of us could.” He could practically hear Chim’s eyes roll through the phone.
Anger surged through Buck. His knuckles went white on the steering wheel. He grit his teeth. “I’m picking up Chris. I’ll be right there.”
Technically, the drive to Chris’ school and then to the hospital should have taken twenty-five minutes. Buck got to the hospital in eighteen. He and Chris raced up to the waiting room in Eddie’s wing. The whole crew was there, most sitting with very annoyed expressions.
“Buck!” Maddie greeted.
“Hey!” Buck was breathless. “Are his… are his parents still in there with him?”
Chim rolled his eyes. “Yup. They said family should be first. As if we aren’t family too.” He huffed.
Bucks jaw set in anger. He smiled at Chris and squeezed his hand. “I’ll be right back.” He said, starting to make his way down to Eddie’s room.
“Buck, what are you doing?” Maddie asked. Buck just shrugged and walked down the hall.
He doesn’t know what compelled him to do it, but Buck stood right outside of Eddie’s room and put his ear to the door. He could hear Ramon and Helena speaking angrily at the same time. He could only get snippets.
“-his grandparents!”
“-family!”
“-your problem?”
“-ungrateful-”
“-dangerous-”
“-unfit to care-”
Suddenly, he could only hear Helena's voice. He assumed that she told Ramon to let her speak.
“Look, Edmundo. I don’t know what compelled you to assign guardianship to that man but you need to get it together. We’ve been patient. We’ve waited for you to find a good woman to settle down with. We’ve waited for you to provide Christopher with the mother he needs. But this is getting ridiculous. No matter how long we wait for you to wise up and get it together, you keep choosing him. He is just your friend, he should not be getting in the way of what you need to do for yourself and for Christopher. He acts like he’s your boyfriend or something, and it’s weird. It’s confusing Christopher. It’s confusing you. You are not some fag, Eddie. You are a good man. God wants you to-”
Eddie snapped. He had been listening to their tirade about how his life isn’t right to raise Christopher, how offensive it was to assign emergency guardianship to anyone but them, and how they should matter more than Buck. His anger had been rising, and he was surprised his blood pressure monitor hadn’t alerted the nurses yet. He sat up in his bed and looked his parents in the eyes.
“I don't give a shit about what you think God wants! I don’t care what you want! I don’t fucking care, okay?!” He felt the word vomit start, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop it. “My whole life you have forced me to be a certain kind of man, to live a certain type of way. Instilled it into me that anything else was wrong. You’ve been trying to steal my son away from me because you don’t think I’m perfect enough! I’m fucking done! I don’t want to find a ‘good woman’. You say I’m ‘not some type of fag’? Well guess what? You’re wrong! You’ve always been wrong about me. I’m fucking gay, okay?” He took in a shaky breath, not processing that he just admitted that out loud, and to his parents, no less. “And Buck? Buck will always be the one I choose. He will always be Chris’ guardian. He will always be my partner. I suggest you shut your mouth about Buck.” His voice kept growing louder, more angry. As he was about to continue his tirade, he spotted a tuft of curly hair and the top half of the side of a face in the window. The pink marks above and below the eyebrow caused a small smile to crack through his anger.
“Come in, Buck.” He said loudly. He saw the face turn to look in, bright blue eyes wide. He just nodded. The door slowly opened.
Buck walked in slowly, taking the sight of an awake and angry Eddie as he did. He watched as Ramon and Helena angrily looked between the two.
“Look, mom, dad, if you can’t accept who I am, who I love, and what my life looks like, that's fine. But that's your problem. You are not getting Chris. He is my son. I am his dad. I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with taking him from me, but it stops now. If you want to be in my life, you’ll apologize. I won’t keep Christopher from his grandparents, but I am going to tell him the truth. I’ll let him decide how to feel. But I know my son. He's not going to be happy.” Eddie said confidently. Helena huffed, grabbed Ramon’s arm, and left the room.
Buck's eyes met Eddie’s, and the world seemed to melt away.
“Hi.” Buck said quietly. Eddie smiled.
“Hi. How much did you hear?”
“Um… most of it? I guess?” Eddie laid back down in his bed, smiling to himself before looking back at Buck. They stayed quiet for a little while, just staring at each other.
Finally, Buck broke the silence.
“Did you mean it?” He asked quietly.
“Did I mean what, Buck?”
“Are you… are you really gay?”
Eddie just nodded.
“Wow.” Buck breathed.
“Is that… weird?” Eddie asked, suddenly insecure. Buck chuckled.
“Of course not.”
Eddie bit the inside of his cheek before deciding to say it. “I meant the other thing too.” Buck raised an eyebrow, waiting for Eddie to spell it out. “I will always choose you, Buck. Always.”
Buck walked slowly closer to Eddie's bed until he was right next to him. Eddie sat up yet again.
“I… I love you, Buck. Not the way a friend is supposed to.” Eddie said quietly, as if ashamed. He looked down at the sheets to avoid eye contact.
He suddenly felt a large, warm hand on his cheek, guiding his head back up to look him in the eyes.
Buck’s eyes searched Eddie’s face, as if looking for a hint that Eddie wasn’t serious. When he couldn’t find anything, he finally responded: “I love you too, Eddie. I’ve loved you for so long.”
Eddie’s breath hitched in his throat. He never actually expected to admit his feelings out loud, let alone for Buck to reciprocate them.
“Kiss me.” Eddie whispered. Buck broke into a wide smile, eyes sparkling. He leaned down, and their lips finally connected.
Eddie's lips were a bit dry and chapped, presumably from being intubated for two weeks. But Buck didn’t mind. They were still perfect. Finally, life clicked together. The missing piece he didn’t know he was missing fit into place. The kiss was soft, tentative, yet perfect.
They pulled apart, both feeling warmer and peaceful than they ever had.
“You’re it for me, Buck. I don’t think I could be with anyone else.”
“Me, too.”
Their lips connected again. This kiss was deeper, more confident. Eddie opened his mouth and threaded his fingers into Bucks curls.
Just as the two were getting lost in the new sensations of each other, they heard quiet giggling and a whistle behind them. They begrudgingly separated and looked at the doorway, where they found everyone standing and watching. The giggling grew louder and there were a few cheers. Everyone had a big smile on their face, and Maddie had her hand over her heart and happy tears glistening in her eyes.
“It’s about damn time!” Chimney cheered.
“You can say that again.” Bobby replied.
Eddie and Buck just looked at each other and burst into laughter.
Chris walked into the room first and pushed in front of Buck to give his father a hug. He then turned around to give Buck a hug as well.
“I was wondering when you two were finally gonna do this. It’s gotten a little embarrassing to watch you two.”
Chris’ comment made everyone laugh.
And Eddie, despite the still aching head and ribs, knew everything was going to be okay.