Chapter Text
It hurts.
It hurts so much. His ribs feel as though they are collapsing, so painful that even breathing is unbearable. He gasps for air as his legs falter, dragging him forward with agonizing difficulty.
Well, at least he can still walk and doesn’t have to call for emergency assistance. That alone is enough to make him grateful, even amidst his darkening vision.
With the back entrance of the Esper Hospital just a few steps away, Hyeongjun prepares himself to answer the question he knows Jiseok will ask. There is no way Hyeongjun will admit that he agreed to be sent on another solo mission. Jiseok would surely lecture him for five hours straight if he does.
But what choice does he have? As one of the highest-ranking espers, demand for such solo missions will undoubtedly be intense. Moreover, Hyeongjun has pledged himself to serve for The Xymphony Commission, the national institution that governs Espers and Guides. And the higher-ups have more than enough reasons to keep Hyeongjun as a pawn to be sacrificed in dangerous missions. Not only because he is worthy of death, but also because he almost always succeeds in completing the goals set for each mission he undertook.
With or without casualties. They don’t care, because if Hyeongjun is declared responsible for the victims, no civilians would ever blame the government. Everyone in this country has already agreed that Hyeongjun is a monster with a god of death always accompanying him.
Or perhaps, the god of death is none other than himself.
But really, Hyeongjun can’t think straight right now. His steps grow more unsteady. His vision is spinning. He must concentrate so he can reach the receptionist quickly and ask them to call Jiseok or Jungsu. Because if he doesn’t, no doctor or healer will be willing to help him. If he collapses here before he can notify Jiseok, his emergency detector will forcibly alert the stubborn healer. And if that happens… Jiseok will be even angrier and won’t let him go on any missions for a week.
Or worse, he might lock him in a hospital room and drag Tyonen along into this miserable place.
Ugh. He absolutely doesn’t want that to happen. Tyonen should never see him lying pathetically in the hospital.
“Hyeongjun?! What are you—”
Speak of the devil—and, fortunately—Jiseok appears first from the back door. One that isn’t open to the public. He seems to be heading somewhere, judging by his neat white coat, unlike his usual slightly rumpled one when on duty. He isn’t wearing his glasses either.
“Hi. You busy?” Hyeongjun asks in a weak voice, sounding more like a fragile whisper. His pale lips lift slightly, forming the small grin he always wears whenever he hides his weakness.
“God—of course I am! But I’m going to take you in first before you collapse.” Jiseok clicks his tongue in irritation, his eyebrows knitted and his eyes full of concern. Hyeongjun doesn’t like it. Jiseok is always so caring, and it always pierces his heart to realize this. No one should care about Han Hyeongjun. Yet he can never tear himself away from Jiseok, no matter how hard he tries.
“Stay conscious,” Jiseok continues as he carries him. “Whatever happened to you this time, Hyeongjun—you owe me an explanation later.” His tone is firm, unyielding.
Jiseok then calls the nurses under the High-Risk Esper Containment Unit, the only unit obliged to handle Hyeongjun, to help him onto the patient’s bed and wheel him to a special room on the third floor. His consciousness is already fading, but he knows that much. This unit and that room are designated for espers with special monitoring needs like himself. And he is one of those who require hospital care so often. Too often that Jiseok is exasperated. So Hyeongjun is already accustomed to this entire procedure. So are the nurses, who work under Jiseok’s orders.
Jiseok is a respected Healer Esper because, in addition to his high power rank, he is also a lab scientist. He serves in the Research and Development team, which is tightly guarded by the Xymphony. Essentially, healer espers are exceedingly rare. They are espers like Hyeongjun, but they don’t have to engage in combat, being heavily shielded both in the hospital and in the field.
Hyeongjun is truly lucky to be friends with Jiseok. He often feels unworthy and burdensome. But of all the people who gradually faded from his life, only Jiseok remained from the beginning. Only Jiseok understood him and never saw him as a monster.
“Are you awake?”
Suddenly, he hears Jungsu’s voice beside him. He blinks from above the bed, staring at the familiar ceiling of the hospital room.
Slowly, Hyeongjun turns his gaze to the left. Jungsu is standing there, watching him.
“How… long?” Hyeongjun asks, confirming the first thing he needs to know. He has to go home soon. Or else…
“Hmm… six hours? It’s almost midnight.” Jungsu replies, a friendlyl smile never leaving his face. Hyeongjun isn’t particularly close to him, but Jungsu is a nurse guide. Jiseok’s official guide, to be exact. He and Jiseok have performed the official soul binding ritual and registered themselves as a sanctioned pair of Esper-Guide to the Xymphony.
And, like many other official pairs, they are also lovers.
Besides that, Jungsu is the leader of the High-Risk Esper Containment Unit, and Jiseok works under his command. That is why Hyeongjun encounters Jungsu quite often, and they get along pretty well. Hyeongjun is the most troublesome Esper for the unit, after all. Well, maybe they could have been closer if only Hyeongjun hadn’t cut himself off from social contact other than Jiseok.
“Your condition is still poor,” Jungsu says, his hand holding a clipboard with paper and a pen. “Jiseok will explain in more detail later, but for now, I’ll write down what you’re feeling first. Try to tell me. Slowly, okay?”
Hyeongjun falls silent for a moment, not intending to answer. There are far more important matters to do than reporting his wellbeing. Honestly, he still feels utterly weakened, lacking the strength to speak. But he can’t show this weakness to Jungsu.
However, he musters his strength to ask with difficulty, “Where… is Jiseok?”
“He’ll be back soon.”
“He’s not… picking up Tyonen to bring her here, is he?” Hyeongjun asks sharply. Usually, if Hyeongjun can’t return home, Jiseok will pick up his pet monster, Tyonen, from his home to keep him company.
Hyeongjun has warned the couple repeatedly that he doesn’t want Tyonen to leave the house, but they never listen. He really doesn’t want the little goblin to be exposed to danger or see him feeble. Tyonen is a precious companion to him, the only family he has left and can protect.
Jiseok always insists, though. Because he knows what is secretly happening between Hyeongjun and the mint-pink goblin. Besides, Jiseok says Tyonen needs his presence, not just protection. But what can Hyeongjun do, when he is always the source of disasters?
“Honey, how is Hyeongjun—ah! Hyeongjun!! Welcome back.”
See?
He comes.
With Tyonen.
Hyeongjun painfully groans.
Jiseok opens the door to the room with Tyonen floating beside his shoulder. The long-eared, rabbit-like goblin’s expression is sad, sorrowful that her drooping eyes cast even lower. Hyeongjun who’s still lying down immediately looks away when Tyonen flies quite quickly toward him.
Tyonen stops in front of Hyeongjun’s chest and slowly approaches. Her small hand, tangled in mint-colored hair, gently touches his cheek. She lets out a soft whimper with her sweet voice, as if pleading to know what happened.
Hyeongjun wants to cry.
He tenderly strokes Tyonen’s back, then lets his goblin settle her body on his chest, lying face down as though they are hugging.
“I’m okay. Don’t worry,” he whispers. He continues to caress Tyonen’s small back—smaller than his thin hand—and tries to soothe her. From the dampness of his clothes and the repeated quiet whimpers, he knows she is crying.
Jiseok approaches with a grin. Hyeongjun quickly shoots him a sharp, annoyed glare.
“Why are you looking at me like that? She’ll be even sadder if you suddenly don’t come home tonight,” says Jiseok, folding his arms across his chest.
“And I can go home tonight.”
“You’re crazy.” Jiseok sighs as he lowers himself onto the chair right next to Hyeongjun’s bed. Jungsu has already withdrawn to the sofa behind him.
“My injuries aren’t that bad this time, Jiseok. I can just rest at home and we don’t need to involve Tyonen.”
Jiseok inhales.
“First, your body is already dangerously weak, and it will only continue to deteriorate unless you receive guiding energy!”
Not this again.
Hyeongjun doesn’t want to listen. He already knows where this conversation is heading.
Stupid, pitiful Espers and their dependence on Guides. Hyeongjun truly despises this reality. Espers are humans with superpowers, but their human bodies are fundamentally too frail for them. So, Espers suffer backlash every time they use their powers. It can take the form of decreasing health or other physical damage, depending on each individual’s traits and condition. Then, to heal their bodies from the backlash and restore everything to normal, Espers require the guiding energy released by Guides.
How pathetic. Basically, they’re superhumans who are dependent on another type of superhuman.
Guides are humans with the power to calm down and stabilize Espers. They are the ones who can keep Espers human. Espers who never receive guiding energy and continuously use their powers will descend into a state of rampage, which, if uncontrolled and repeated, will strip an Esper of their humanity. They will become monsters.
Jiseok takes his black tablet, taps on the screen, and shows Hyeongjun a report before continuing.
“Look! Your health points are below fifty percent, Hyeongjun! You know this means the injuries and pain you’re experiencing will take longer to heal than an Esper with stable health points, right? Not to mention the power backlash you never regulate! Just wait, you’ll definitely burn with a fever for three days after this.”
“It’s nothing I can’t endure.”
Jiseok exhales heavily.
“Hyeongjun. In your condition like this, I can’t even use my healing power on you either. After all, I’m a Healer Esper, not a Guide. Infusing Esper power into your fragile body will only endanger you. And you keep refusing to accept guiding. What should I do to help you, Hyeongjun?” Jiseok’s voice wavers as he places his tablet on the bed. His fingers slowly reach for Hyeongjun’s messy long black hair, stroking it softly.
Hyeongjun doesn’t respond, nor does he resist his touch, so Jiseok continues, “Core health is at forty percent. See? You overexerted your power on whatever mission you undertook without notifying me again today. You’re not going to have an easy backlash, you silly dumb bunny. And your sanity points are even lower. At this point, you’ll be spiraling into a rampage soon.”
Hyeongjun has spiraled into rampages several times before. Jiseok loathes it, which is why he has been so desperate to get Hyeongjun a guide. A real guide to give him direct guiding. But Hyeongjun always refuses.
Technically, guiding energy can be obtained from pills that Jiseok has made (once again, thank you Jiseok for being Hyeongjun’s friend), and that’s what Hyeongjun has been relying on all this time. But it really only restores a few percent. As a result, Hyeongjun’s Core Health never rises above 80% while he relies solely on pills.
Hyeongjun now looks at him, and they stare at each other for a few seconds. Hyeongjun sighs softly, his hand still on Tyonen’s back, who seems to have calmed down a bit.
“I’m sorry, Jiseok.”
Jiseok shakes his head. “I don’t want you to apologize. I just wish your suffering would lessen.”
Because it’s impossible to wish for his suffering to completely disappear.
“I deserve all of this—”
“Stop saying that.”
Hyeongjun lowers his gaze. “If I get close to rampage, I’ll tell you.”
Jiseok’s eyes begin to water, “And let you be locked up in pain in a bunker monitored by the Xymphony…? I can’t bear it anymore, Hyeongjun. I don’t want that to happen again.”
Jiseok can’t hold back his tears anymore, remembering what Hyeongjun had to endure when he entered his previous rampage phase. Jiseok immediately stands up, with a tearful expression that always tickles Hyeongjun’s empty heart until he wants to laugh.
Then Jiseok spreads his arms wide. “Just… let me hug you right now.”
Hyeongjun hesitates, then chuckles softly, “Permission granted.”
“Tyonen, let me join your little hug!!” Jiseok exclaims before hugging Hyeongjun, who is still lying down. He buries his head in Hyeongjun’s uninjured shoulder, brushing against Tyonen’s long ears.
Hyeongjun reluctantly starts to rub Jiseok’s back, too. He decides to let Jiseok cry in that position for a while.
Hyeongjun honestly doesn’t like physical contact. But he has to apologize to Jiseok for constantly troubling him. So he just lets him be. He has never been comfortable with any of the affection shown to him, but Jiseok never stops even though he knows it.
Hyeongjun then breathes a sigh of relief when Jungsu rises and comes closer, patting Jiseok on the head and signaling him to get up.
“Hey, you’re going to make Hyeongjun’s injuries worse.”
Jiseok groans in protest as he pulls back. Tyonen also rises and starts to float around Hyeongjun, worried, but also happy to join Hyeongjun cuddling with Jiseok earlier.
“But, Hyeongjun. I’m serious,” Jiseok says as he clears his throat. “As your doctor, I strongly recommend that you start accepting guiding. You can’t just rely on the pills anymore.”
“No comment.” Hyeongjun scoffs, trying to get up and sit slowly. Jiseok immediately holds him back and adjusts his bed into a sitting position instead.
Then Jungsu remembers something.
“Speaking of guiding, did you guys know? Oh Seungmin was transferred to this city,” he says excitedly.
“Really? Oh Seungmin, the S+++ level guide? I heard he was moving cities, but I didn’t know he was coming here…” Jiseok looks surprised by this information.
Honestly, Hyeongjun is surprised too. Oh Seungmin is a guide with an extraordinarily high and positive public presence. Everyone likes him, and every esper longs to be guided by him. The last time Hyeongjun remembers, Oh Seungmin was working in the capital with elite espers and teams. Why was he transferred to a seaside city full of danger zones and problematic espers like Hyeongjun?
“Unexpected, right?” Jungsu continues, “But what’s even more shocking is that he’s assigned to our team, the High-Risk Esper Containment Unit…”