Chapter Text
An endless darkness, a warm, soft, peaceful existence. It all feels right, like it’s meant to be. The pressure surrounding him, it’s oddly comforting. One would’ve thought panic would be natural, but he felt nothing more than safe and at peace. He´d be happy to stay like this forever.
Confusion hits him like a tidal wave, telling him somethings strange… different. A comforting, rhythmic noise surrounded him, like a beat. Soft and steady, safe.
Stretching his limbs, he found that there wasn’t much space to move. His body wrapped tightly. Stuck, Strange, but not scary. Never scary. Warm and safe like always, he put his worries away and drifted off once more.
——
An urge to get out, feeling he’s supposed to leave. Safety, it’s still safe in a way, but now it’s time to move on. Moving without thought, more instinctual. He couldn’t stay here; he was ready to get out. Shuffling around, trying to move, to get out. He finds a soft spot, rubbing against it. Rubbing, rubbing, rubbing…. It’s not supposed to take this long. A deep feeling of annoyance, frustration fills him. A scrape, he has something to scrape with. Huh, He shifts and starts rubbing the sharpness against his confines.
Nothing happens
Confused, he tries once more, then again and again. It doesn’t work
He feels a growing sense of panic. This isn’t right. Something inside him says. You have to get out! It screams.
Continuing to rub away, with growing desperation he more frantically attempts to scrape his way out. It’s wrong. It’s wrong! It’s Wrong!
I have to leave, I have to leave, I have to leave. The words echoing repeatedly in his mind.
A growing sense of panic filled him, a deep unyielding desperation, making him feel terrified. Emotions building steadily, awakening something inside him. His haze fading into clarity. His mind released from the trance.
——
Panicking, Shen Yuan awoke with a jolt. Heart almost beating out of his chest. A hollow darkness, a suffocating tightness. His body frantically scraping against something. A subconscious action, like his body thought this is what he was supposed to do. At the same time it felt wrong, not the action itself but the fact that what he was doing didn’t work. He knew he had to get out.
Collecting himself, he forced his body to stop moving. Shen Yuan knew that this mindless clawing clearly was not working. He felt exhausted. Who knows how long he was frantically clawing before he awoke properly. Well, he does have a vague recollection, but it’s more like a foggy dream than concrete memories. Back to the task at hand, How should he get out? What happened? Where is he?
There really isn’t much to do, the scraping had already failed, what other options were there? So far nothing he’s done has yielded results.
He curls tighter in on himself, typical of this to happen to him. Trapped somewhere with no way out. The small wiggle room he had was useless. Still stuck in this tight space. Weirdly enough it wasn’t too bad, he felt safe, despite the desperation to get out. Like deep down he knew nothing could hurt him in here. His instincts and his mind at war, logically it wasn’t good to be trapped, but the feeling of safe was undeniable.
One question crossed his mind: What’s the point in safety when you’re imprisoned against your will?
It didn’t feel right, uncomfortable.
It felt safe, familiar.
Both feelings are true, not quite contradictions, but sometimes they felt like complete opposites to him.
The deep darkness surrounding him on all sides.
Nothing to see other than darkness, nothing to feel except the pressure of his confines, Nothing to hear except the rhythmic thumping of his own heart.
His heart, the same thu-thump as always… its quite comforting when he thinks about it. Even in this hell of sensory deprivation, the lone sound of his heart keeps him company. Like a lullaby, it eventually makes him drift off into a blissful sleep.
——
Once more awaking with a sharp jolt, panic rising in his chest. The calm beat of his heart disturbed, beating out of control, out of order. Despite this the eerie silence envelops him, only his heart is audible. It’s scary. He´s usually not afraid of the dark, but this total, all enveloping silence, this empty space…
He misses the blissful slumber he was in, dreams of long-gone memories… recollections he can’t quite comprehend. Like a life, far, far away… that he can’t remember anymore. Eventually his heartbeat slows, back to the comforting lullaby he missed so much. His mind stills and he drifts off.
——
Shen Yuan is noticing a pattern, awakening with this jolt of fear, his heart rhythm disturbed. His fight or flight active, yet nothing he can do. He almost always wakes up, rubbing against the confines of his cage. Like his body doesn’t get the memo that it’s futile.
It’s all annoying. He doesn’t know how long he sleeps, but he aways yearns to return to unconsciousness
When will he get out of this place?? He doesn’t even know where he is. The more he thinks the more annoyed and scared he gets. He focuses on calming his heart, back to the way it was before it was disturbed by panic.
——
No way to escape. Waking up the same way, repeatedly. It’s exhausting to say the least.
The times he wakes he takes to studying what’s around him. It’s spherical, shaped perfectly to fit him. The surface is soft, fragile, but no matter how long he tries he can’t break free. Maybe it’s magic? A barrier? Who is he kidding. Magic doesn’t exist. No matter how much he tries to convince himself of that, there’s a part of him saying it´s possible…
——
He´s been trying everything he could think of. Rubbing, kicking, scraping, pushing, shaking… nothing works. Over and over, like a mad man trying thew same thing without stop hoping for a different result. Why does he try? He´ll never get out.
Pushing away the pessimistic thoughts, he turned to his surroundings. Darkness. Nothing surprising there. He leans against the wall. Wall? Is it a wall? Whatever. He leans against it, trying to see if he hears anything. Silence. No sound whatsoever.
Kicking slightly in frustration, Shen yuan curls tighter in on himself. It’s… lonely in a way. Only the beat of his heart…
——
He never knows how long he sleeps. Time doesn’t really have meaning in this place. All he knows is that it feels like an eternity… well, there’s a part of him that doesn’t mind. It´s comfortable here… Yet he can help to feel bored whenever he´s awake, it’s not like there’s a lot of options to do except occasionally continue his futile attempts to escape.
Sometimes he stays awake, just… being in the silence. His mind recalling faint memories… whenever he jolts back from his trance, he can’t remember what those were about... he just knows they’re there… Lurking just out of reach-
Thu-thump… thu-thump… his heart beat lulling him to sleep
——
Dreams of wonderful adventures and interesting beasts. These dreams came slowly, small fragments playing in his head. They grew more vivid as he continued daydreaming. They feel familiar, nor real in the same way as his memories but like a story he used to know. Everything is burry once he wakes. Like there’s something that keeps them at bay.
——
Sometimes when he’s feeling more small and fragile. He imagines a heart beating alongside his own… thu-thump thu-thump… but for now he could only hear his own beating alone, isolated from any company.
At least he has his dreams to keep him occupied, they help him suppress the feeling of overwhelming loneliness that threatens to consume him. Giving him a way to escape his predicament.
——
The daydreams has become more vivid, the more he used them as a form of escape. Yet he longs for more… Something different... More than this darkness. More than… nothing…
The story unfolding in his mind is blurry as always, he doesn’t always remember what it was, only leaving him with an impression of awe… sometimes even frustration? Huh. Whatever. It’s like a memory in a way. It doesn’t feel like he made the story up by himself. Who else then? Its not like there’s someone around to tell him this…
Thu-thump, thu-thump….
——
Fear. It’s not really scary to wake suddenly anymore. At this point this darkness is a familiar sight. It´s lonely yes, but not scary. He´s getting used to the tightness, the isolation.
Daydreams are a welcome treasure, a never-ending entertainment.
One time he took to finding out what he looks like. It may sound counterproductive cause he can’t see. Instead he did the only thing he could. He imagines and uses his sense of touch and awareness of his body to guess. He feels a lot of limbs curled into himself. Four beneath him, two on his back and one at his behind. He can move all of them, not much, never much, he’s trapped after all, but enough to know they’re there, and functioning.
——
Sleep, at this point he only really sleeps and daydreams. Mostly he lets the imaginations and his heartbeat drift him into an in-between state. Awake, asleep, no, he simply is. He´s drifting in this nothingness he´s trapped in.
——
Dreams on repeat, memories filtering in, it’s… good. Nothing changes, but he doesn’t want them to change. Sleep, awake. All the same forever… its… nice…
——
——
Shen Yuan is jolted awake with a strange sensation. Like something around himself fading into oblivion. The layers upon layers of safety he´s gotten used to. Gone in an instant... This… This isn’t right…
A deep sense of unease filled him. No! Not now- not when he’s finally used to it. Not when he finally feels safe!
His entrapment meant familiarity, safety. He couldn’t leave now. He didn’t want to.´
Yet… a sense of curiosity filled him, the same deep urge for something more… something new. It´s been brewing beneath the surface for a while now. Only shoved to the side by his contentment and familiarity from before, ut that has now been ripped from his grasp.
He waits, as if testing if this new development is dangerous. He focuses his senses and hears… He hears… more than his heartbeat. He freezes completely, his heart skipping a beat. He hears a rushing of water maybe.
I´ts a faint background noise.. Listening intently. The sound is overwhelming in a way, yet excitement slowly fills him.
He stays like this for a while, listening to this new sound, soaking in the thought that there’s more. Something new. If he breaks out of here.
He pokes the wall hesitantly with his claw, it easily crumbles. The first thing that hits him is a gust of clean air, filling his lungs. Air? Has he not had air before this? He opens his eyes and immediately get overwhelmed by a bright light that blinds him, making his eyes and head ache in pain. It´s completely overwhelming after all this time in the darkness. He turns, looking away.
He doesn’t try to push it, only occasionally trying to get used to the light in small intervals... The hole makes the rushing sound of water all the clearer. Ah! It´s too much! Way too much for Shen Yuan´s under-stimulated mind and senses.
After another eternity he feels ready, he leans in and looks out into his new world.
The sight that greets him is a beautiful and bright stone cave. Vines and plants growing on the rough and rigid parts of the stone wall. A wide, vibrant spring of water, and a small waterfall. Ah, so that’s where the sound came from. He was right in assuming water... It gushes into the pretty pond form a crack in the wall, algae is caked beneath the gushing currents but the green seemingly stopping before it reaches the water. The light hits the water just the right way, causing it to reflect marvel patterns on the stones.
The sight is awe-inspiring, yet a lot for Shen yuan to process. He stares longingly on the outside world, but he can’t deny how tired he feels.
His eyes are straining to keep open, so he gives in, turning away to take a small nap. Replenishing his energy and giving himself the break he needs. No need to rush… After all this time trapped, patience is something he´s more than used to.
Once Shen Yuan wakes, he turns to look once more. He gives himself a few moments adjust to the light before looking out again. The cave is as beautiful as before the tall stone ceiling, sunlight hitting the plants and pond in bright beams. He stares at the beams of sunlight, for the first time noticing how they slowly move around the room, almost as if making sure each plant has gotten the sunlight they need to thrive. He marvels in the gentle and soothing splashing from the waterfall.
He notices small critters like a grasshopper, ants and a caterpillar all crawling between the strands of grass. He spends a lot of time looking at each insect he can get his eyes on, a deep curiosity finding its place within him.
A deep familiar sense of peace filled him. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe his fear is unjustified, overreacting for nothing.
Yet, he can’t completely ignore the anxiety swirling deep in his gut.
He shifts to another spot and cracks a small hole to look through in another location, giving him a way to view a different part of the cave. This time it´s a stone wall with intricate shelves etched into them. Vines on the ceiling curled around wooden planks, holding them up into hanging storage spaces. All this space, but almost completely empty and unused. He can only see an intricately carved jewl placed on the stone table beneath the shelfs. Shen Yuan can only see it from a weird side-view perspective but it’s very pretty.
This entire cave feels like eerily still. Other than the waterfall and the small insects, it’s almost as if the place is entirely unoccupied. Unmoving. Giving him the feeling nothings been living here in a while.
The more Shen Yuan observes the more beautiful it all becomes. It’s almost as if the more he looks at his surroundings, the more beautiful they become. Every single detail making him more impressed.
He´s not sure he’s ready to leave just yet, so he shuffles, making himself comfortable once more. He closes his eyes and focuses on his heartbeat. Thu-thump- thu-thump, only this time its accompanied not by silence, but the soothing sound of the waterfall. He needs to sleep and when he wakes up he´ll be ready to take his first step into his new world… his new home.
——
Well… he may have already broken his promise to himself. He really meant to leave, but the thought of losing the feeling of his now familiar surroundings. He´s scared he´ll lose this tightness, and the option to hide away when it all gets too much.
Whenever he makes an attempt, he freezes as a growing anxiety twists itself in his stomach. Leading to him curling back into a ball, chickening out and waiting even longer.
He tries many more times, each ending in failure. Yet he never gives up. The more attempts he makes, the closer he comes to the goal. He´s slowly and surely making it all safer. It helps that through it all, the tranquillity of the cave stays the same. Water falling, critters moving about doing their thing. The fear never fades, but it becomes tolerable eventually.
Even failure is progress, He tries, and that helps him move forward.
The holes are growing larger with every movement, crumbling. He knows he doesn’t have forever. Soon he’ll be forced to face the cave, regardless og how ready he is.
——
Time comes when he’s finally ready to take his first step. He pushes against the largest crack, and the hole easily yields under his weight. No way to return now.
He moves forwards and lets out a small squeak when he falls downwards. He didn’t know he was perched on top of a small mound. He should’ve checked before he did this. He thinks disappointed. He hits his head slightly, landing on his stomach, his legs spread out in all four directions. His snout touches the soft grass beneath him, one blade tickling his nose making him sneeze.
Raising his neck slightly he looks around… its different compared to his previously small area to look from. A new perspective so to say. He likes it.
He is about to curl up and take a small nap, when his eyes catch where he came from. Up on the small bump, sitting on top, surrounded by green crystals is an… egg??
Was he trapped in a EGG this entire time??? What even is he??