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This has been something in Maomao’s mind from the very start. Back when she first became a taster for Empress Gyokuyou – still only one of the high-ranking consorts back then – she would conjure this possibility over and over again: a slow-acting poison. Not only that, but one that had minimal effects in small doses, yet they escalated the more it was consumed.
Meaning, it would go undetected even by an experienced taster such as Maomao.
She’d been worried for her head back then, as if anything ended up poisoning His Majesty’s favorite consort, her commoner taster would surely be blamed. Maomao would not survive it, even if she pled her innocence. The life of a taster was expendable.
Even more so if the target wasn’t a mere consort this time, but the Moon Prince instead.
Maomao was luckily in Jinshi’s presence when he’d first started feeling weak. She had to come over to the villa quite often to see to his burn, but one night he seemed more out of it than usual. “Master Jinshi, are you feeling okay?” She’d asked him, noticing the color rapidly drain from his face.
Jinshi had been unable to answer, as he soon began retching. Maomao had acted fast, but it had still been a mess. He’d lost consciousness soon after, and she struggled to get him lying on his side. She couldn’t risk him choking on his own vomit.
Maomao couldn’t call on any doctors, for no one could see Jinshi’s brand. She’d panicked for a moment, thinking she would have to care for him with absolutely no help, but she remembered his own words: Suiren is my ally.
She’d called on his lady-in-waiting, and then spent the next few hours in a complete blur, trying to figure out what was wrong with him.
There had been a diplomatic banquet a few days ago. Bureaucrats of all kinds had been present, and the Emperor had insisted on the Moon Prince showing up. Jinshi probably felt like he couldn’t say no to anything he asked after the branding.
Maomao had been his taster that day, and yet she’d detected no poison. She had never feared for her life as much as she did right now, because if he died, she would be killed. That was the only explanation for why she had panicked so much.
His symptoms were all over the place; but the vomiting and the fever were the most concerning ones. She was unsure if all of it coming back up was damaging his throat, as she had no idea what was afflicting him. It was unlikely for the poison to still be in his stomach, so Maomao had asked Suiren to procure some water and some herbs to mix a medicine.
He’d gone unconscious quite quickly too, so if anything else was hurting, he wouldn’t be able to say it. With much pain, she managed to get him to take the medicine without it all coming back up. There were many poisons that could cause such a broad range of symptoms.
Maomao spent the next day trying to figure out what he’d been poisoned with. They couldn’t make a fuss about this, so Suiren had asked Gaoshun to stealthily gather as much information as he could. The Emperor was eventually notified, but he too did not make a fuss about it.
This was a delicate situation. It was best to keep this under wraps for now, and pretend the Moon Prince was simply indisposed. The fact that no doctors could tend to him had for once helped to keep suspicions that something more was happening at bay.
But even with her vast knowledge, she was coming up blank. It wasn’t usual for a slow-acting poison to leave you practically unconscious for so long. Perhaps this was a combination of various different herbs. Perhaps there was even something in the mix she wouldn’t recognize.
Investigating the kitchen had been out of the question. It had been days since the dinner, and Gaoshun reported that the kitchen had already been scrubbed clean. The culprits were certain to have eliminated the evidence by now.
Maomao should have gone investigating herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave him. She was practically his sole caretaker. She wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone.
It’s been almost two days now. Jinshi wasn’t in a coma as such, but he was too weak to wake up. Maomao had tried, but he would only mumble something incoherent or open his eyes briefly and then fall back asleep.
He had not been able to eat, either, so she resorted to placing a fruit juice-soaked cotton ball on his lips, hoping to give him at least some nutrients and some hydration. It wouldn’t be enough if he kept going this way.
She also had to give him medicine, even if she was unsure what would be best. She knew it was impossible, but she wished there was a miracle pill to solve any and all ailments.
Thankfully, he seemed to have responded well to the concoction she’d come up with, after initially throwing up everything that was in his stomach and more. His fever had broken last night, and hadn’t returned as of yet. Hopefully it wouldn’t.
Maomao busied herself with research. Gaoshun had stopped by a few times, and she’d asked him to bring a few of her books over. He’d brought even more than she’d asked, claiming her father – Luomen, of course – had thought they would be interesting reads.
She had questioned Gaoshun’s discretion, but he explained he’d come up with a plausible lie. He did not tell her what the lie had been, and she doubted Luomen had believed him.
Her father wasn’t quite the lie detector like the freak strategist, but he was certain to find inconsistencies with Gaoshun’s story.
It was no matter, as the books were indeed a great help. They were the ones from the West, and they had not only poisonous herbs she’d never heard of, but also an interesting selection of metals.
Some were so strong they could kill almost instantly, but if diluted in the right amount, they could become undetectable slow-acting poisons.
The perfect crime. Far enough from the day of the banquet to get rid of all the evidence, and to plausibly claim that Jinshi’s affliction was a mere illness. It was genius. Maomao was impressed.
But she was also livid, and something else she couldn’t name. At least he didn’t seem to be getting worse, but he wasn’t waking up, either. She sat on a chair she’d placed right next to the bed, diligently watching him.
“Xiaomao,” Suiren said. Maomao hadn’t even heard her walking in. “It’s time for you to rest.”
Not a suggestion, even in her polite tone. But Maomao couldn’t leave him now. “I’ll rest when I’m tired.”
“So you need to rest right now.”
Oh, come on… Maomao didn’t look that bad, did she? “He might wake up at any moment.”
“And I will be here if he does.”
She was trying her hardest to remain civil, but she had to admit her patience was thinner than usual. “I should be here, I’ll know how to treat him.” The implication being that Suiren didn’t. As if she couldn’t give him the right medicine if Maomao instructed her as such.
The realization that she was being unreasonable was worse than being unreasonable on its own, but Maomao could not stop herself. This was the worst possible outcome.
If Jinshi died right now… she did not even want to think of the consequences.
A hand touched her shoulder. “Xiaomao, please. I’ll call you if anything happens. Go eat some dinner, at least.”
Her stomach growled, and she realized she hadn’t eaten in a while. “But–”
The grip on her shoulder tightened. “It will be best for you both if you’re at your best.”
Her tone left no room for arguing, so Maomao had no choice but to stand. All of her muscles seemed to ache at once when she did. Her back was so sore she almost couldn’t stand straight. She’d been hunched over his bed for a while now.
Suiren took over immediately, fussing over Jinshi. Maomao watched her for a moment, guilt washing over her. She couldn’t leave right now. “Xiaomao.”
“Yes,” she resigned herself to say, and left.
Maomao was only gone for a few minutes, enough to chow down a few rice crackers. She could have brought in a bowl of noodles to eat in his room, but the crackers had made her nauseous. Perhaps she shouldn’t have eaten so fast. “Anything?” She asked when she came back.
Suiren tsked, going up to her. “I thought I told you to go eat something.”
“But–”
“It’s time to give the young master a sponge bath.” Suiren chuckled, pushing her out of the room. “Unless you want to stay and watch.”
“N-no! Of course not!” Not that Maomao would find it strange or disgusting. She knew that dealing with bodies – living and dead – would most likely be a part of her future training.
But something about it being Jinshi made her cheeks burn.
Maomao had no choice but to let herself be pushed out of the room. She thought about eating the noodles, but she knew her stomach wouldn’t handle that. She sat on a couch in the living room, but slowly ended up lying down.
If she could at least figure out what, then things would go much faster. Why couldn’t she figure it out?
Would Jinshi survive even if she failed at her job?
No, I can’t think about this. Maomao closed her eyes. She wasn’t ready to die.
She went over all she’d researched, but her thoughts were getting increasingly nonsensical. She felt her weight on the couch, and soon she drifted off to sleep. Maomao didn’t realize it until she opened her eyes again a while later. She’d been unable to stop her mind from running, even if nothing made sense in her dreamlike state.
She jumped off of the couch, practically running back to the bedroom. Who knew how long she’d been out? Jinshi might need her.
But when she came back, she realized not that much time must have passed. Jinshi was dressed in fresh clothes, and she saw Suiren attempting to feed him once again. He hadn’t been able to keep down even the thinnest of rice waters so far.
“Is he eating?” Maomao asked.
Suiren thankfully didn’t chase her out this time. “Not much,” she answered.
“But he’s keeping it down?” She was next to the bed now, watching his throat bob as Suiren fed him a spoonful of the thin gruel. “Let me do it, please.”
Maomao did not take her eyes off of Jinshi, but Suiren handed her the bowl, a low chuckle escaping her lips. As if this is the time to be laughing!
She was so irritable right now. Must be the lack of sleep. Maomao placed the spoon to his mouth, and let out a sigh when he swallowed it again. So he was still alive, and he was regaining his strength. Finally.
It wasn’t over yet, but Jinshi managed to eat almost all of the rice water. Maomao had no time to celebrate, though. “I’m going to check on his burn.” Something else she had to do that couldn’t be neglected in his state. Jinshi would surely die if his wound was to get infected while he was in such a fragile state.
Suiren took a step back, turning away. If it was out of respect or out of shock, Maomao couldn’t say. She knew that Suiren was aware of the brand’s existence, but if she’d ever seen it was a different story.
The burn was still healing properly, so Maomao only applied the ointment and redid the bandage. She hated looking at it. Why did he do this?
It was so stupid. It would only make his life harder, like it was making right now. She sighed, putting his robe back on.
She felt for his temperature next. It seemed to have remained stable, at least. She then finally sat on the chair next to the bed, placing her head in her hands. “You are doing all you can, Xiaomao,” Suiren said.
Her voice startled Maomao. She hadn’t noticed the lady-in-waiting was still in the room. “It might not be enough.”
“You have to believe in something, you know.”
Maomao wasn’t sure she agreed with that. She had no other choice, though. She focused her gaze on Jinshi, resisting the urge to caress his hair. That wouldn’t be of any help. It would only needlessly bother him.
She was reminded of the long months she’d spent at the Crystal Pavilion, treating Consort Lihua. Jinshi looked bad, but he wasn’t in such dire straits as she’d been.
Could that give her enough hope to cling to?
Maomao sighed. “I’m just doing my job,” she answered Suiren after a beat of silence. Against her better judgment, she continued. “If I fail, I’ll be executed.”
Suiren had the gall to chuckle. “Do you really believe that?” Maomao didn’t know which part she’d meant, so she didn’t answer. “You might still think of yourself as a mere commoner, but your life is of much worth to many around you.”
She shook her head. “This is different.”
“Perhaps. But it’s not your fault. No one would believe you orchestrated this. You might not see it yourself, but others know full well how much you care about the young master.”
Maomao’s jaw clenched, her cheeks heating up. “Like I said, I’m only doing my job. Since I’m the only one who can be here.”
Suiren was quiet for a moment. “And we should be thankful he made the right choice.”
Maomao was about to ask what she’d meant, but when she turned her head, she noticed Suiren was gone. Good.
Good? Yeah, good.
It was good to be alone with Jinshi. Less time spent talking, more time taking care of him. She’d just taken his temperature, and his pulse seemed fine too. He was looking quite worse for wear, though. So pale, so weak…
He should be awake by now. He needed to at least eat a little bit more.
Maomao didn’t know why, but she reached out for his hand. It was colder than she’d expected, and she sighed. Her stomach sat uneasy as if she’d eaten rocks.
Jinshi looked like he would be whisked away by any light breeze. It’s been two whole days already, shouldn’t he be getting better by now?
She wished her father was here. He would know what to do. He would have been able to correctly guess the exact mixture of poisons they’d given Jinshi, and he would know the exact antidotes.
But Luomen couldn’t be here. No one else could. If he dies, I’m going to bring him back and kill him again.
Maomao couldn’t help her anger. If he hadn’t burnt that stupid brand on his skin, he would have been able to get better care. He would probably have woken up a long time ago. He would have a better chance of surviving.
She squeezed his hand, leaning her head on the bed. “Just wake up already,” she muttered. Maomao was so tired. She wanted to go to sleep, but she couldn’t shut her brain up. She knew she shouldn’t push herself like this. Wasn’t this something she often yelled at him for?
But she couldn’t. Her stomach continued to turn, the anxiety burrowed deep inside her. “Wake up!”
She was not being fair. It wasn’t his fault he’d been poisoned; that was a risk that came with his position. But he had made it so hard for her.
Maomao shook his hand. “Wake up, you stupid idiot!”
“I’m awake,” a beautiful, yet rough voice said. She lifted her head, seeing a groggy Jinshi staring at her. “Why are you yelling at me?”
Maomao barely had time to formulate a proper answer. “Lady Suiren, he’s awake!” She yelled.
The lady-in-waiting came running in at once. “Oh, goodness, young master!” She hovered over him, helping Maomao help Jinshi sit up.
His eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes scanning the room. “What’s going on?”
“How are you feeling?” Maomao asked instead of answering. “Are you nauseous? Does anything hurt?”
Jinshi took in a breath, placing a hand on his stomach. He closed his eyes for a moment, as if the light in the room was hurting them, even though it was nighttime already. “I’m a little nauseous. And everything hurts.”
“Everything?”
“Well, mostly my stomach…” He trailed off, staring between her and Suiren. “Uh… would it be all right if I…?”
Maomao blinked. “If you what, sir?”
Jinshi shot Suiren a silent plea. “Well, the young master is awake now! Xiaomao, why don’t you go make him some tea?”
Tea? It would certainly help giving him some nutrients back and in his hydration, but was that so urgent? She took another glance at Jinshi’s face, watching it twist in pain as his hand burrowed deeper in his stomach.
Ah. She realized it now. He must have quite the pile up in his intestines after two days. He was too demure to say it in front of a lady. Even if that so-called lady was Maomao.
She scurried off to make the tea, while Suiren helped Jinshi walk to the toilet. Maomao made sure to take an extra long time in the brewing process. She only came back many minutes later, after being certain Jinshi was back and fully dressed. Suiren was nowhere to be seen, naturally.
Maomao took the teacup to his bed, handing it to him. He sniffed it. “Ginger?”
“It’s good for nausea, sir.” She had mixed something else in to help with his other issue, but she didn’t disclose it.
He took a sip, making a face. She’d made it quite strong, so she didn’t blame him for acting so childish. “Do you know what happened?” He asked.
She took that as permission to sit on the chair as she told him the story. “You were poisoned. Most likely during the banquet the Emperor held last week.”
“But… I was fine after that. And you didn’t have anything either!”
Does he have enough debt with me that he wouldn’t execute me if he was forced to? “Some poisons take a while longer to act. The symptoms only start showing after hours or even days, or if a large quantity is consumed at once. As a taster, it would not make sense for me to eat a huge sample, so it was able to pass through undetected.”
Jinshi sighed. “I see.” He drank more of his tea. His color was getting better now, finally. “Do you know what caused it?”
Maomao clenched her jaw. She did not want to admit such a failure in her investigation but she had no choice. “I was unable to pinpoint what it is exactly. My guess is that it must be a blend of poisonous herbs. Perhaps they even added a few metals to make sure it would do the job.”
He frowned. “Metals?”
She nodded. “I’ve heard some toxic metals can be mixed into food and leave no taste or odor behind. Whoever did this, they had the perfect plan. It would not have been hard to pass this off as a quick yet deadly illness.”
It was much more subtle than his previous assassination attempts. The culprits were definitely walking away unscathed. The thought made Maomao’s blood boil. “So at least you knew what was wrong, even if you couldn’t identify the correct toxin,” Jinshi said.
She groaned. “It would have been better if I’d been able to tell!”
“But I’m still here. That’s what matters, right?”
Her cheeks warmed up, and she had to look at the floor. “You could have woken up earlier,” she mumbled.
“Sure. You look awful, by the way.” She scowled at him. He only didn’t look worse because he had just bathed.
But Maomao could still see how sunken his eyes were; how his skin was dull and his lips were chapped. “You’re one to talk.”
“When was the last time you slept?”
“Does that even matter?” It wasn’t like she could up and leave him.
“You should rest.”
Maomao sighed. “You still need someone to watch you, and incidentally, you’ve made it so I’m the only person who can properly treat you!”
Jinshi actually grinned, the bastard. “And what a great choice it was!” He took her by the wrist. “You can rest here.”
“I’ll rest once I’m sure you’ll be fine.” She pulled her hand away. “Besides, I should probably go bathe first.”
Jinshi shrugged. “Go, then. I’ll have Suiren prepare it for you.”
She was starting to lose her patience. “I can’t leave you alone.”
“I’ll survive for a few minutes.” Maomao glared at him for his choice of words, but he seemed even more pleased with himself than before. “Please, Maomao.”
His tone was much softer this time. As if he could yield magic with his voice, she suddenly felt the layer of dried sweat and built-up oil on her skin much more pronounced than before. She leaned away from him, fearing her clothes had started to smell quite badly even if she couldn’t sense it.
Maomao sighed. “I suppose you will survive,” she relented. “I’ll be back soon, though.”
Jinshi gave her his most dazzling smile. “I sure hope so.” Why is he so happy? He almost died!
Whatever. She wouldn’t stay to find out. She had to be quick with this bath.
Maomao glared at the clothes Suiren had left for her, but she still put them on. It was either this or going back to her filthy, almost three-day old work clothes. She still didn’t like the implication, but she had no other options.
When she came back to his room, she found Jinshi much in the same position he’d been, though the simple fact he was still awake brought immense relief to her chest. “Come lie down,” he said, patting a spot next to him on the bed.
Maomao tried hard to hold back her glare. “I was sleeping fine on the chair.”
“But you’ll be much more comfortable here. You’re even in your sleepwear now!”
She cursed that cunning old lady in her mind. Why couldn’t she have brought a clean set of her regular work clothes? This was certain to give this petulant man the wrong idea. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t rather be in a warm, cozy bed tonight,” Jinshi said.
Maomao avoided looking at him, her jaw clenched. But as soon as he’d said it, the aches on her back flared up. She’d sat in terrible positions for the past two nights. Even after that nice bath, her butt was still sore.
She sighed, still not looking at him as she got in bed next to him. Jinshi let her get settled in, and now that she was looking at him closely, she noticed the heaviness behind his eyes. He might be trying to keep up a good mood for her sake, but she could tell this whole situation was bugging him.
He let out a deep sigh, then pulled her into his arms. Maomao tried to push him away, but she was tired. It would be such a bother to try to fight him right now.
Besides, Jinshi was upset already. She didn’t need to make it worse. She groaned, reluctantly letting him hold her. “You should rest,” Jinshi repeated. “I’ll be fine until the morning.”
Maomao resisted the urge to slap him. Insolent even after a brush with death. She would never understand him. “You don’t know that!”
“I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
She noticed his tone had softened, but the anger was still simmering inside her. Why was he apologizing anyway? “You can’t die,” she mumbled.
“What was that?”
“You can’t die,” she repeated, louder and more irritated this time.
“And why not?”
Maomao couldn’t say it. Because you are the Emperor’s oldest son wouldn’t be a wise thing to say right now. Jinshi was not ready for that conversation yet. “Think of the political mess it would cause!”
He was quiet for a moment. “It’s not like I chose to be targeted.”
“Just be more careful!” She huffed against him, her hands clutching at his collar. How did he not understand what an important person he was?
Jinshi chuckled. “I am being careful.” He held her tighter. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. You won’t get rid of me that easily.”
That wasn’t what she’d meant. Maomao was only doing her job. If she was the only one who could save him, then she had to save him. If she’d failed, she would have kissed her head goodbye for sure.
Jinshi didn’t seem to get it. He was far too important to die.
Important to whom? To everyone, of course. The whole country would mourn the loss of the Moon Prince. Things would get even uglier if his death caused the truth of his birth to be discovered. Maomao simply didn’t want to bother with such a mess. She knew she would be dragged into it somehow.
It was much better to have Jinshi alive. It was much better to have him here, within her line of sight, decidedly out of trouble. So many people only knew how to leave. It would only be fair of him to stay.
Jinshi had his arms around her. He was all she could feel right now. She took in a breath, and smelled his perfume. It was so familiar at this point. He was still so warm. Maomao must be growing colder, as she felt the need to get closer to him.
“I won’t leave you unless you tell me to go,” he said, his voice a mere whisper in her ear. He ran a hand through her hair, keeping her nestled against him.
Suiren must have burnt a much stronger incense today, because something was irritating her eyes. “Will you tell me to go?” He asked, after a beat of silence.
“This is your room, sir.”
Jinshi chuckled. Her eyes continued to sting. She kept her face hidden from his sight. “I know, but–”
“Then I have no authority to tell you to leave.” The incense must have hit her throat too, for her voice had come out rather strange.
He stayed quiet. The hand that caressed her head halted for a moment, followed by a light touch of his lips to her forehead.
At least she thought it’d been his lips; it was too subtle to be sure. Regardless, her forehead was warmed after his touch. “I won’t go, then,” he said.
Maomao closed her eyes, her head leaning against his chest. Jinshi was alive. She had saved him.
Her mind was suddenly losing its grip on reality, and her thoughts took on an unusual tone. Thank goodness you’re still here, she thought. I’m so… “Happy that you’re safe…”
She vaguely heard Jinshi say something, but couldn’t discern any words. Maomao finally let exhaustion take over, the steady rhythm of his heart lulling her to sleep.
The perpetrators had not been found yet. Jinshi suspected they never would be, and it was pointless to keep questioning the kitchen staff. It had been so long since that dinner, even those who were innocent were bound to have a flimsy alibi. The Emperor was livid, and not much would calm him, as per Gaoshun’s words earlier this morning.
Jinshi figured he should pay His Majesty a visit later today. He knew his brother couldn’t easily get away from his duties to come visit him out here, especially not after what Jinshi had done.
Keyword being later. It was mid-morning, yet Maomao was still asleep. Jinshi decided to let her. In the meantime, Suiren had filled him in on what had happened while he was in a coma. Mainly, she’d told him how hard it had been to pry Maomao away from his side. Suiren had said she had to practically drag her out kicking and screaming so she could eat and take care of herself.
Jinshi took her words with a grain of salt. Suiren could get a little too enthusiastic about Maomao, and it wouldn’t be out of the question for her to embellish some details.
But then Maomao’s words last night came back to him. The ones she’d said when she was almost fully asleep. Happy you’re safe, she’d muttered, nestling herself even closer to him. Jinshi couldn’t stop his heart from racing after hearing that.
He watched her from the table, breakfast already set for her. He’d eaten a little earlier, but his stomach was still out of sorts. Suiren had made this meal mostly for her, either way.
Maomao stirred on the bed, and he watched her hand reach out for something. She patted the sheets, and when she couldn’t find it, she suddenly sat up, her breathing visibly rushed. “Good morning,” he said, startling her. “Everything okay?”
Her eyes gazed at him with something so sweet his heart rate went up. But it only lasted for a split second. If he wasn’t so used to reading her expressions by now, he would have missed it.
“Good morning, Master Jinshi,” she said, rubbing sleep off of her eyes. “How are you feeling this morning? May I check your vitals?”
He pouted. “Already bringing up work? Won’t you at least eat something first?”
She sighed, but still walked up to sit next to him. “As far as I’m aware, I have not been able to work for the past two days.”
“That is taken care of, don’t worry.” She glared at him. Jinshi knew she worried about the nepotism allegations, but in this case, it was an emergency. No one would dare breathe a word about it, either way. “I feel fine. I slept through the whole night, too. No more symptoms, I suppose.”
Maomao nodded. “Excuse me.” She scooted closer to him, taking his wrist. His body heated up at once, even if he knew she was only taking his pulse. “It’s a bit fast,” she said.
That was not his fault. If anything, it was hers. Jinshi opted to not answer. Maomao placed a hand on his forehead, then sighed. “I suppose you are fine. I’ll check on your burn later.”
“Of course.” Jinshi watched her take a bowl of congee for herself. Suiren had made it with the mushrooms she’d eaten up once, back when she was still his maidservant. He couldn’t help but notice Maomao had not scooted her chair back.
Jinshi smiled, unable to tear his eyes from her. He wanted to tell her that last night could be all of their nights. This could be all of their mornings. Sleeping soundly in each other’s arms, followed by a nice chat over a lovely breakfast before they both had to go to work.
But that was only his heart being too hopeful. Many obstacles still remained, and Jinshi had to find a way to get rid of them before it was too late.
He was so far gone. He’d spent days fighting for his life, so close to actual death, and yet the only thing on his mind was her.
Maomao turned to him, an eyebrow raised. “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing,” he answered quickly. She shook her head at him, her usual tired scowl on her face.
This is worth it, Jinshi thought. Maomao is worth everything.