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“Babe, have you seen this?” Ed asked, his voice a confusing mix of sheer horror and abject laughter.
“Hmm?” Stede replied questioningly from the bathroom, where he was applying his evening skincare. He leant back a little to see what his husband was looking at, rubbing his moisturiser in, catching sight of Ed in the mirror they always seem to put directly outside of hotel bathrooms.
He couldn’t see exactly what Ed was looking at, other than the fact he was propped up on the bed, wearing his hotel-provided fluffy white robe (and nothing else…. It was rather a spacious shower. They were saving water. Ahem.)
He was holding something small in his hands and he seemed to be clutching it to his chest.
Stede quickly finished his task, rubbing in a final dab of rosehip oil before tightening the belt of his own robe and heading over.
“What is it?” He asked, making his way over to the bed to see what was going on.
“It would appear we have a guest with us tonight.” Ed was smirking as he handed over … a small teddy bear.
Hello there! I’m Winston Bear. I will happily sleep or cuddle with you while you’re here. If you'd like a more permanent relationship, you’re welcome to take me home but it will cost you £20.00. If you’d like …. a less experienced version of me, my innocent twin is available at reception. sweet dreams! Winston xo
“Oh my god,” Stede burst out laughing as he read the note attached to the sweet little yellow teddy bear, wrapped in the same hotel-branded gown (albeit smaller) as them. “This poor little bear must have seen all sorts of stuff.”
“Mate, this bear has been part of some stuff by the sounds of it,” Ed cackled. “The way they are talking about his ‘innocent little twin’” - Ed did the air quotation marks for added effect here. “Poor Winston, he’s used goods. Left here bereft, forced to stay in this one hotel room while his fresher buddies go off to pastures new,” he continued, laughter peeling from his chest.
“Now now, Ed, don't be slut-shaming our new friend here. Winston my darling, I think you’re underestimating your worth, only £20? You could do better.” Stede addressed the bear, patting him sweetly on the head. “How many people has this poor guy had to cuddle or sleep with, do you reckon?” Stede added, pulling a slight grimace.
Ed giggled. “God knows. I’m sorry Winston mate, had we known you were happy to cuddle with us, you could have joined us in the shower,” Ed reached up to scratch the bear’s chin where he was cradled in Stede’s arms.
Stede rolled his eyes affectionately, slipping onto the bed himself, nudging Ed over to the other side, sitting atop the covers with Winston now snugly between the pair of them.
"It's the fact they've added the xo onto it for me,” Ed continued. "It adds a weirdly saucy layer to it. Like is the bear propositioning us?"
Stede giggled as he settled down, a hand resting firmly around Winston to keep him safe and upright. "Look, it sounds like he may be in a bit of vicious cycle. Obviously, sex work is real work and should be paid accordingly and respected more however I can't help but feel Winston has drawn a short straw here."
"Damn, you'd never think this fancy spa resort is running some kind of illicit teddy bear market,” Ed whistled through his teeth, a faux tut leaving his lips as well. They both turned to look at each other, catching the others eye and burst out laughing. This was so silly, but these daft little moments about unexpected things meant the absolute world to Stede. A partner who met him in a joke and wanted to belly laugh with him until they cried. Everything about his life with Ed now was just beautiful, even an apparently used hotel teddy bear.
Their giggles died down, Winston still being held protectively by Stede. Eventually, Ed's grin turned soft and fond as he wiped a tear from his cheek and sighed. “We're about to spend twenty quid on a teddy bear aren't we?" he said, his hand reaching out to straighten up Winston’s dressing gown.
“Absolutely. I think he should come home with us. We can save him from this life of tragedy. The horrors he must have seen, he’ll have much a nicer life sat on our bed at home.”
Ed raised an eyebrow, nodding as if he was contemplating something very serious. “I don’t know love, we get up to some pretty filthy stuff on that bed. He’s already had to listen to us once in the shower and he didn’t even get the full show that time. Maybe we should spare him further trauma. For him, it’s like he’d be watching his parents have sex.”
Stede pulled a face. “Ew. Fair enough. He can live on the mantelpiece instead then. Much more peaceful life, cosy and warm in the living room.”
“God, it's like Pretty Woman. Never thought I'd be Richard Gere in that scenario though," Ed chuckled. "And you’re sure you don’t want his more innocent twin?” Ed added, shuffling over to rest his head on Stede’s shoulder, his hand petting over Winston’s soft fluffy head affectionately.
“No, definitely not” Stede replied indignantly, a protective hand snuggling the teddy further into the crook of his arm. “This Winston has life experience. He’s got some stories to tell. Like all the best people.”
“He might be a voyeur. We haven’t considered that,” Ed mused.
“Well I wouldn’t wish to kink shame him, if he expresses an interest in watching us, we can let him,” Stede chuckled, his arm reaching up to pull Ed closer to him. He kissed the crown of his husband’s head.
“Love you,” Stede whispered into Ed’s hair, grinning as Ed wiggled ever closer to Stede, reaching over to place a hand over the one Stede already had holding Winston the Bear, ensuring their hands and little bear’s paw was also in the same grip.
“Love you too,” Ed replied happily. “Maybe we should go on a crusade. Liberate all the hotel teddy bears across the world.”
“A worthy mission,” Stede sighed, his thumb running absent-mindedly over Winston’s fur. He suddenly felt very attached to the sweet little teddy, he would be better in a loving home with him and Ed, not here with countless other people.
“You hungry? We could order room service,” Ed said, turning his head briefly to drop a kiss on Stede’s shoulder as he sat up a little.
“I could eat. You get whatever you think sounds good darling,” Stede said, reaching for his phone he’d left on the bedside table while Ed rolled briefly away to grab the menu from his side.
He started reading through it when he shrieked. “OH MY GOD STEDE!”
“What?!” he startled, looking over at his husband for an explanation.
“You can buy Winston shaped cakes too!!!”