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It was career day at Papyrus' elementary school and every child came in with their parent of choice ready to tell their class what their mother or father did for a living. Well, every kid except Papyrus. Papyrus came in with his backpack over one shoulder and the lunch he packed himself in the other. Despite Papyrus reminding his father for weeks, he dares say even months, every day to not forget and to make sure he comes, Papyrus sat alone in his classroom. His older brother Sans tried to explain why their father couldn't come but Papyrus wasn't having it. He marched out of the house without breakfast too upset to stomach any food.
Now in the classroom, the small skeleton was just depressed. All his friends were beaming with joy as they talked with their moms and dads. Even the parents themselves chatted amongst one another happy, cheerful, everything Papyrus wasn't.
Papyrus didn't know why his father's absence upset him still. His dad had never once shown up to a single event of his. School plays, class events, after school programs, Papyrus was either greeted by Sans or nobody. Every time it hurt. He hated staring out at the crowd and seeing no recognizable faces. He hated watching all the other kids run up to their moms and dads getting praise and hugs for doing such a good job. Sans told him that their father never showed up to any of his school events either and even joked about the parent missing his graduation in a few years.
“But once I'm out of school I can come to all your school events!” The skeleton grinned but Papyrus just sighed. He loved his brother, but just once it would be nice to have his dad actually act like his father and not a stranger he saw once or twice a week before bed.
Papyrus' teacher clapped her hands together getting the class' attention. She began talking about the day and how it would progress but Papyrus tuned her out. The information wasn't needed. One thing Papyrus had given up on was hoping his dad would come in at the last second, apologizing and being there for him. No, it hurt too much when that final minute ticked by adding another tally to the missed events board all Papyrus wanted to do was cry.
One by one, Papyrus' classmates went up and introduced their parents. The parents introduced themselves, talking about what they did and who they were. Papyrus wished he could have been more interested but with his head on his desk he could barely manage even looking at them. Ice lifter, stay at home mom, stay at home dad, teacher, gardener, snow shoveler, so many jobs and so many happy faces.
“Papyrus?” His teacher called. “Papyrus?” The skeleton snapped out of his daze. “It's your turn.”
“He's uh...not here,” Papyrus mumbled, hiding in his jacket as he hears whispers, feeling the sad looks from the parents.
“That's quite alright. Your father is a very busy man. Papyrus' father is the royal scientist. I'm sure we all can understand how busy that job must be.” The teacher announced, shooting the skeleton a smile.
“Barely even home...” Papyrus mumbled to himself, turning his head away from the front of the class as the next child was called. Papyrus hardly participated in any of the events that day. He would have just sat in that chair the entire day if his teacher didn't insist he at least try to join in for participation points. He responded by just directing his body to the group or standing in the corner.
When the end of the day finally came, Papyrus made his way out of the building and didn't even smile as he saw his brother waiting. Papyrus just looked back down at the ground and kept walking. Sans' face fell and he sighed, catching up to his sibling.
“Paps,” Sans started to say but the angry skeleton just stared straight ahead.
“He missed it.”
“Pap you know he-”
“He missed it again.”
“He has to work. The core had a-”
“I don't care.” Papyrus stormed ahead and Sans tried to catch up.
“Bro come one, talk to me.”
“There's nothing to discuss.”
“Yes,” Sans appeared before his brother, resting a hand on his shoulder, “there is.” The two shared a gaze, the elder skeleton's face showing genuine concern. “Talk to me bro.” Sans flashed his sibling a sympathetic look and Papyrus just returned it with a broken one.
“What is there to say?! You know exactly what happened! He didn't show up. I sat in class listening to all the other kids' moms and dads talk about their jobs and how great they are. I sat there and watched them all have a great time while I just sat at my desk the only kid in the whole class to not have a parent! I NEVER HAVE A PARENT!” Papyrus shouted. “He's never around. I see him twice a week max for not even twenty minutes! I make my own lunch. I clean the house. I try to cook when you are busy with school work. He's never there!”
“I know Pap, but he's-”
“Busy, I know! He's always busy. He's the royal scientist!” Papyrus mocked, voiced dripping with sarcasm. “Too busy to tuck me in, too busy to pop in a say I love you, too busy to leave a note, too busy to even say hello! I can't remember the last time I even have a conversation with him Sans! That's not a father! I shouldn't have to remind myself to not get my hopes up over him might maybe showing up. I shouldn't have to train myself to stop caring because it hurts too much to. I shouldn't have to remind myself that my dad isn't like the other parents. I don't get notes in my lunch. I don't get goodbye hugs and kisses from him. I don't look out and see him in the crowd for school events. I don't come home and see him making dinner for us. I don't get tucked in at night by him. I don't get I love you's from him. I don't get anything from him Sans!” Papyrus cried and the older brother squeezed his sibling's shoulder.
“But you get them from me,” Sans said and Papyrus wanted to sob.
“But it shouldn't have to be that way,” he stressed. “You shouldn't have to be my parent. I shouldn't have to be my own parent. We...” Papyrus just shook his head, wiping at his tears. “We should just have a dad who doesn't value his work over his children.”
“Pap, he doesn't value his work over us.”
“Yeah?” Papyrus laughed dryly. “Then when was the last time he took a break to be with us? The royal scientist is given two months of vacation days, I looked into it. But in all his years, has he ever taken one?” Sans opened his mouth to argue but nothing came to mind. “Didn't think so.”
“He...” Sans trailed off, trying to find some excuse. But nothing came. “He...”
“I don't care,” Papyrus whispered, marching ahead, leaving his brother behind.
That night Papyrus barely ate any of his leftover lasagna before going up to his room. He didn't come down or even leave when his normal bedtime came. Sans remained downstairs working on his homework and shooting worried looks at his door. Knowing his brother's bedtime had passed, Sans went upstairs to his sibling's room, ready to read him a story but found the door locked.
“Pap?” He called, knocking on the door. He tried once more, peeking under the door but the light was off. “Do you want a story?” More silence. “Pap, you know I'll come in if you don't open up.” Waiting a minute more, Sans focused on Papyrus' room before he opened his eyes and appeared inside. He steadied himself before sparking his magic to cast some light in the dark room. Sans went over to his sibling's bed finding his brother fast asleep with tears staining his cheekbones. Sans sighed, hanging his head as he sat on the bed. Glancing at his baby brother, the skeleton leaned over and used a corner of the blanket to wipe away the tears.
“I'm sorry Papyrus,” Sans whispered resting his forehead against his brother's. He stayed there for a minute before he heard the front door open up. Pulling away, Sans reached over and pulled the covers over his sibling tucking him in. He placed a skeleton kiss on his forehead, flicking on the nightlight before unlocking and leaving the room. Sans peered down the railing at his father who was on the couch, arm draped over his face.
“Is he asleep?” Sans' father, Gaster asked.
“Yeah.” Gaster hummed. “He's really upset at you.”
“He always is,” Their father muttered, sitting up.
“This time was different. He...he made some valid arguments.”
“Oh? Are you upset with me as well?” Sans shrugged, leaning on the railing.
“No, I've given up on the idea as a whole.” Gaster frowned at the sentence. “Paps, however, still has hope. Or at least, he did. After today well...I think it's safe to say he doesn't really see you as a father figure anymore.”
“It was just some silly career day.”
“It's more than that and you know it,” Sans said with a tense voice. “Look, I'm not going to tell you what you already know. You hate repeated information and if you aren't aware of how insignificant you've been in his life then your observation skills are far worse than I'm aware of. Papyrus isn't like me and you know that. He's not going to shrug it off and see you as anything close to a father figure or family member. I've gotten use to this, to you. I've managed to make myself believe that 'Dad's busy' is an excuse and that's all I need. Dad's too busy to come to the school event. Dad's too busy to make dinner. Dad's too busy to kiss me goodnight. You are busy that's my excuse but not his. I barely see you more than five hours a week if that. Papyrus is lucky if he sees you three minutes a week. He can't really have any sort of impression if he doesn't even know you.”
“Don't be dramatic. You act as if I've never spent a day with him before," Gaster scoffed and Sans' grip tightened on the rail.
“You haven't,” Sans reminded his guardian with a glare. “Last time I checked, you handed a seven-year-old a baby and said 'I'll be back in ten'. Silly me for thinking it would be ten minutes and not ten days.” Sans was allowing his personal feelings to rise. He had learned the hard way how useless they were on their father. Just because Sans felt something didn't mean Gaster would care. Sans could cry, scream, and pout all he wished but the only thing that his father cared about was facts.
“There was a core leak. I was going to-”
“You were busy,” Sans smiled a tense smile. “I know. Don't need to remind me. But I'd just like to remind you that I was watching him, that I was dropping him off at daycare, I picked him up after school, and I took care of him while you were busy. And you,” Sans pointed, “were always busy.” With a sigh, Sans shrugged and continued, “and I have accepted that. I have no hard feelings about it.”
“You sound as if you have more than just hard feelings, Sans,” Gaster pointed out focusing on his child.
“No, because you taught me to be realistic and logical. I never expect you to be anything but what you are. Because it would be unrealistic of me to think you'd ever be that stereotypical father. You taught me that the day I knew what other kid's parents were like. How they didn't come home to an empty house. They didn't have to make their own dinner. They didn't have to learn how to care for their younger sibling. But I did, thanks to you. I don't expect that mythical dad to appear anymore if ever. I knew better, but Papyrus doesn't. You didn't raise him. You didn't have to watch over him like you did with me. He didn't learn these lessons and he shouldn't have to.”
“I've already told you I'm trying to find more time to-”
“Dad, I really don't care. In fact, I think it would be easier for everyone if you didn't bother. You hate lies, so stop making so many. I just wanted to say this, either make it up to him and spend some time with your son or stop leading him on. This whole situation could have been avoided if you were honest and just told him from day one that you wouldn't be there. Instead, you said you'd try and that gave him hope. So Dad, if you ever do one thing for me, it's to stop hurting him. As his brother and pretty much guardian, I'm the one who has to deal with his tears not you, and I'm tired of watching him cry. Don't promise him a father if you aren't going to be one. We've been fine on our own for eight years, me even longer.” Sans pushed away from the rail, his usual grin gone. “Stop hurting my brother Gaster. Man up and tell him like it is or I'll do it for you. I won't have him crying himself to sleep again over a father he'll never have.” Sans shut the door to him room and when he woke up the next morning Gaster was gone.
Sans would always convince himself Gaster cared. Sans had spent time with him as a child. He watched Gaster work in the labs and saw how dedicated his guardian was to his work. He saw the passion on his face and how ecstatic he got when he figured out the missing piece to his work. There had been multiple times where the man even picked Sans up and hugged him, laughing as he spun around chanting the equation. Sans hadn't understood what it meant, but seeing his dad so happy filled him with joy. Sans couldn't recall the last time he saw his father that happy. Gaster always came home tired and exhausted. The reason he only came home was usually for a change of clothes, to sleep on a bed, or because someone forced him to. Gaster had told Sans that once the skeleton was old enough, he'd leave to move into his person lab in Hotland, sending over some money when needed. Sans was enraged at first but kept his mouth shut and accepted it. Gaster would never be home after that, but it was for the best. Gaster belonged around his work and Sans didn't want his toxic presence infecting his brother's happiness anymore. Papyrus was Sans' family. Gaster may introduce them as his children, but Papyrus was far from his son. How could he call someone he didn't even know a father?
On a whim a few years ago, Sans asked Gaster when Papyrus birthday was. To his surprise, the man answered correctly. Again, Sans asked a question but one less obvious, what was his favorite color? Gaster responded with blue but it was red. Sans asked his father one last question to test him, one Papyrus had told their father the answer to numerous times.
“What grade is Papyrus going into this year again?” The answer was second.
“Those primary grades are all the same trivial things over and over again. It doesn't matter what grade he's in, the same pointless crayon drawing will be shoved into my bag crinkling my work. Perhaps you should spend less time worrying about his pointless grade and start helping him with his tutoring. With your help, he might actually become something instead of wallowing away in this horrid town becoming some idiotic innkeeper or some moronic member of the king's army of thick-headed mutts. Now stop asking me useless questions, I'm busy.” Sans' entire body was shaking, hands clenched so tightly by his side that it hurt.
I'm busy. Gaster was busy Gaster was always busy.
Sans glared around his room as he got himself dressed. Thinking of how cruel his father was to Papyrus sickened him. Papyrus deserved so much more. Papyrus deserved that nice home with a happy family and parents. Not this, not his empty home where the two of them try their best to forget that the life they live wasn't normal.
Sans waited outside his brother's room, frowning at the door. Taking a glance downstairs, the skeleton decided to let his brother sleep in by preparing breakfast himself. Sans wasn't the best cook, neither of them were. Breakfast was often toast or maybe a cinnamon bunny. Today, though, Sans decided to cook some scrambled eggs and pack his brother a lunch. Setting the table for the two, he placed Papyrus' lunch he made in his backpack and went upstairs to wake him.
“Bro?” Sans knocked, opening up the door. “Time to get up.” The skeleton walked over to the bed and gently nudged his sibling. “Come on sleepy bones, times to get up,” Papyrus grunted but opened his sockets up.
“'Kay, 'm up,” he yawned, slowly rising.
“Hurry up, I made breakfast.” Papyrus let out another yawn, getting out of the bed. He changed quickly and he went downstair to eat with his brother. The two chatted quietly amongst themselves and Papyrus didn't once mention their father. Sans was thankful for that and set the dishes in the sink before taking his brother's hand and leading him to his school.
“I'll pick you up today, okay? Just wait for me if I'm a little late.” Sans smiled, kissing his brother's forehead and the younger skeleton nodded.
“Okay, love you.”
“Love you too.” Sans waved and as Papyrus entered the building.
Papyrus was having a much better day than yesterday. With no parents or reminders of his father, Papyrus was a lot happier and more into his lesson. When lunch rolled around, Papyrus panicked having forgotten to pack it that morning. To his surprise, he found one inside his backpack and pulled it out. Once in the lunch room, he unzipped his lunchbox and pulled back the lid. Inside was a crabapple, juice box, cinnamon bunny, and a peanut butter and honey sandwich. The top of the lid had a piece of paper taped to it that made Papyrus' soul flutter. He carefully peeled it off, treating it like a fragile piece of glass. He opened the note and stared at his brother's handwriting. Papyrus let out the breath he wasn't aware he was holding, a gentle smile spreading across his face.
You are super amazing and the best baby brother in the whole world. I'll always be there for you when he isn't. I hope you h ave a great day at schoo l and I love you so so so much.
Love Sans, your bonehead brother.
“You okay Papyrus?” The skeleton's friend asked and he nodded. He sniffed, tears in his sockets as he pressed the note against his ribcage.
“I'm great!”