Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Mac walked out of the tunnel and into the airport, the first thought he had was that he needed to find a way home.

The second thought he had was of his home. How dusty it might be or if someone had broken in. His neighbours couldn't watch over his house all the time.

His third thought was ‘why are they here?’

Standing a little away from the doors that led outside stood familiar people.

His team.

His old team.

He hadn't seen them in 16 months.

They stood there, watching him, mixed expressions on their faces.

Bozer had a look of sadness on his face, mixed in with understanding. 

Riley was heartbroken, eyes glazed as if her mind was elsewhere.

Matty looked focused but Mac could see the relief on her face when their eyes locked.

Desi stood behind them, pissed.

Mac looked them over as he walked, making sure they looked healthy and in one piece. As he looked over to them, he saw that they were doing the same to him, their eyes staying on his hair and face longest.

He stopped before them, keeping his eyes on the one man in the group he didn't recognise. 

The stranger cleared his throat, smiling too wide to be real.

"Russ Taylor. It's good to finally meet you. Angus" he extended his hand, looking at him expectantly.

Mac stared at him, taking him in and his accent before nodding but he didn't extend his own hand, instead he made the conscious decision to walk around the team, eyes on the doors.

"Mac"

He slowed but didn't stop, listening as they followed behind him.

He had just made it outside, standing beside the doors so as to not block anyone.

His name was called again before a hand on his arm pulled him to turn.

Riley was holding his arm, staring at him with wide eyes that shined 

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Mac tilted his head, speaking for the first time since he stepped foot on the plane.

"Tell you what?"

"That you re-upped. That you went back" she held on to his arm tighter, voice raising an octave.

Mac slowly shrugged her hand off, aware of the pained look it brought. He looked at her, at those around her before he responded.

"Phoenix closed 18 months ago. It took two months before we broke apart, stopped contacting one another. Got busy. I tried calling but no one answered so I figured, you guys don’t want me.. But the army does" 

He tightened his grip on the duffle bag, feeling his arm muscles burn with how long they've been there, holding the heavy bag over his left shoulder.

At their silence, Mac turned, ignoring the looks he got from strangers but nodded back at those who nodded at him, accepting their wordless thanks. He spared a glimpse down at his camouflage uniform, making sure that everything looked alright but as he did so, a picture popped into his head. 

Jack standing before him, in his own camouflage uniform. Jack wore his to separate them from him, to prepare them for this official but temporary goodbye.

Mac wore his to say goodbye.

"I bought the Phoenix"

Mac stopped, sighing.

Russ Taylor continued speaking, moving so he was standing in front of him. 

He moved so Taylor to his left while the team was to his right. 

His back to the wall.

Out of the corner in his eye, he saw Matty deflate, something floating through her face before she forced it away.

Desi had her eyes closed. Hands curled to fists at her side.

Mac ignored them but kept himself aware of their presence. 

"Something happened. A bio-weapon has been stolen and I need your help to get it back"

Mac stared at him, frowning.

"It's going to be dangerous, " Russ smiled, hands waving excitedly.

Mac knew what he was doing. He was trying to make it sound appealing and exciting but Mac had been surrounded by 'dangerous' for over a year. 

"I’m tired." was all he had to say, nodding his head to Taylor before turning, walking to the taxi area.

"Then we'll go to your place. I see you still have it, paying your bills automatically" Russ called to him.

Mac sighed, eyes closing as he pushed down the bubbling emotions that threatened to make themselves known.

"Cone on, I'll lay down all my cards, let you sleep it off and meet back up tomorrow, alright?" Russ appeared at his side, smiling confidently.

Mac stared at the man before nodding, reasoning to himself that at least he’ll get a free car ride.

Walking into the house, Mac instantly knew two things.

One, the people in front of him had been in his house recently. His odd inventions and half done experiments that he left out before leaving were cleaned up and put aside, food now adoring the fridge where there wasn't before.

Second, they hadn't been in his house before that. 

He looked at the small table in front of the door, where he always placed his keys.

Throwing them, he watched as a small 'plumph' of dust shot up from where his keys landed.

He saw that an effort had been made to dust the place but there was clear evidence of heavy dust in places and there was a certain old, dusty smell that stays in places that haven't been lived in.

Mac sighed, ignoring the noise behind him as he entered his room, throwing his bag on the bed, watching as the heavy dust shot up and covered the room.

"We tried cleaning"  

Bozer said to him, standing in the doorway, his arms around his waist in a self-hug. 

Mac ignored him. Closing the door on his friend to get changed into a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt.

Walking out into the living room, he took a seat on the couch, ignoring the others who hovered around, slowly taking their own seats around him.

Matty sat across from him in an armchair, looking around like it was her first time here. Russ's doing the same from where he was standing before a bookcase in the corner. The couch was next to Russ, Riley next to him on the couch while Bozer sat in the armchair, parallel to the one Matty was in.

Mac looked around at them from his position at the end of the couch, as far away from them as he could get. Riley looked between him and the large space between them, something on her face that Mac didn't have the will power to concern himself with.

Desi was leaning against the wall, in between Matty and Bozer, eyes locked onto his face.

"We cleaned up," Bozer said again, trying to sound happy about it.

"But this is your first time here in a year" Mac spoke, eyes on the area around him while making sure he was aware of everyone.

"How do you know that?" Russ asked, turning to him, arms folded.

'The dust" was all Mac forced himself to say.

He saw Riley wince “we wanted to come visit but we were-" 

"Busy. I know"

"Mac-" Matty started but he sighed, interrupting her, forcing his face to be as empty as his voice.

"Can we get this over with?"

Russ cleared his throat before nodding.

"As I've told you. A bio-weapon ..."

Chapter Text

Mac stayed as silent, forcing himself to listen.

Matty didn’t say much the entire time and Mac suspected that she already knew what the mission was and what they were expected to do, only speaking when Bozer or Riley asked a question about the area of this supposed auction and who they thought the buyer might be.

After Russ explained the mission, he asked that everyone meet back at the house in the morning and left, Matty going with him after asking if that was alright.

Mac just shrugged, figuring out that it was pointless to say ‘no’

After they left, a silence filled the room. Mac was thinking of going to bed when Riley and Bozer started talking, asking questions about what the other had been up to.

Riley mentioned her job at a tech repair shop and telling of funny moments or disturbing things she’d seen on people's computers.

Bozer mentioned his debut as a director and how successful his movie turned out to be. 

Desi murmured something about her job as a bouncer, not developing into it.

Mac said nothing when they turned to him, ignoring the room when it fell back into silence.

Bozer tried to force a conversation between them, making jokes on how he didn't buy beer in his shopping. 

It didn't work.

Riley suggested a sleepover but Mac just shook his head at her, making her fall silent.

He saw their eyes staring at him, bright with guilt but he ignored them.

It didn't matter.

When he tried to leave, Desi stopped him.

At first, she said the usual things.

"Why would you re-enlist?”

“You should have told me. Jack trusted me to watch over you.”

“Why didn’t you reach out?"

Riley and the Bozer joined in after a while, asking their own questions.

Mac ignored them, ignoring their questions about where he had been and if he was alright.

He forced his breaths to stay even when they asked about his hair or the fact that he’s skinnier then they remember.

Then, when he tried to leave again, Desi started yelling.

Mac stared at her as she blamed him for leaving them, making them worry. How he made her fail by leaving the country to go to an active warzone. 

How he should have stayed.

"Why?" He asked, patience evaporating. 

She stared at him, eye twitching from her explosive rant. Bozer and Riley had stood as well and were looking between him and Desi, getting more uncomfortable with every passing word.

"Why what?" Desi breathed, fists half raised as she visibly tried to calm down.

Mac stared at her, moving to look at Bozer and Riley "why should i have stayed? You all left, just like that." 

Bozer flinched "Mac-"

"Two months after the Phoenix, you all went different ways. I called you guys multiple times. Too busy. I invited you guys over to sit by the fire.. like old times. Got other plans."

Riley lowered her head as Bozer’s eyes closed.

Desi just stared but he saw her anger dissipate.

"So I stopped calling. I stopped all contact and no one noticed. So, I decided that I'd leave. Jack's not here so I have nothing to return to anymore. I know when i’m not needed and i wasn’t needed here" 

"Mac.." Desi reached out for him.

Mac walked away from them. Calling over his shoulder for them to lock the door when they leave.

Chapter Text

Staring at himself in the mirror, Mac tilted his head left and right, inspecting.

He had tanned. 

After spending a year in the sun, his pale complexion had vanished and in its place was a healthy tan.

He had filled out a little more, gained some weight but Mac knew that it was just muscle, having had the time and routine to work out regularly.

His hair was the biggest shock to him.

Instead of darkening or curling, it had gone paper white. 

Mac just stared at it, pushing down the memories that tried to force their way through to him.

Running his hands through it, he wondered if he should dye it back to blonde but before he could entertain the idea, he dismissed it. 

Shrugging, Mac turned off the bathroom light and with a listen to make sure he was truly alone, he got into bed.

A groan left him as he laid there, feeling the softness of his mattress.

He didn’t care for the dusty smell or the rough feeling of unwashed sheets. 

Closing his eyes, Mac fell into a restless sleep.

The heat was something that Mac would never forget. 

As he walked towards the mess hall, he watched the new recruits. 

They were up before the sun, training hard. 

Mac shook his head when he heard some of the soldiers mocking a skinner soldier, bullying him.

He just kept walking. 

As he walked by the recruits, he was aware of how they suddenly fell quiet as if noticing him for the first time.

Mac sighed.

In seconds, all attention was on him. He had heard them talking about how he returned after being honourably discharged, how he was an apparent legend in the EOD world.

How he had dragged the Ghost away from Afghanistan and back to America. 

How, after a long game of cat and mouse, he had killed the Ghost but no one knew for sure.

How he had disarmed over 100 IED's within a single day.

How he disarmed the devices with only a Swiss Army Knife and if that wasn't available then he could easily use some wire or gum and shoelaces.

He was aware of the rumours going around but did nothing about them.

The only ones he corrected or confirmed was when Jack was mentioned.

As he made it into the mess hall, he was aware of two things. 

One, how quiet it got when he walked in, how they stared at him with amazement or puzzlement.

Two was his overwatch waving at him, an enthusiastic smile on his face.

“Paul” Mac nodded to his overwatch as he collected his food, sitting opposite the man. 

His overwatch smiled back, shoving his food in his mouth as he mentioned, at the same time, of a mission coming up.

Mac watched him for a second, puzzled as to what he was saying but didn’t need to wait long as a Sergeant appeared before their table, tablet in hand. 

“MacGyver, Sands. You’re being sent out now. There’s a village about 50 clicks, due west. Previous EOD reports state a high frequency of bombs. You’re my best team so get some food and get going”

Mac ate as much as he was willing before he followed Sands to their Humvee, his bag and kit in his arms.

The ride to the village was normal.

Scouting for the bomb was normal.

Finding it in an ally was normal.

The disarming of the bomb was normal.

What changed was the sudden BANG.

Mac jumped, head lowering as his body moved to cover the disarmed bomb. Staying still, Mac called for his overwatch to report but there was only static.

He repeated his order.

The sudden yells from the end of the ally made him turn. Five men stood before the opening of the ally, guns in their hands, raised in his direction. 

Mac slowly stood, turning his head just enough to see his overwatch out of the corner of his eye. 

He saw his overwatch’s nest.

He saw Sands, half his body out the window, blood dripping down the wall.

Mac knew instantly that it was a fatal shot.

Looking back to the mouth of the ally, he watched the men approach. 

He took a step back.

One of them shouted to stop.

Mac glanced behind him just as a hard pressure was pressing into his back. 

He hissed to himself for not seeing the man behind him approach.

Something was placed over his mouth. Mac held his breath, struggling but between one blink and the next, the men who had been far away from him were now on him, holding his arms and punching his chest, forcing him to breathe.

Mac didn’t remember closing his eyes.

When they opened, he was sitting on a wooden chair, arms held down tight by brown rope, the same with his ankles and chest. 

He was in a small basement. 

The floor was stone, dirty with dried blood stains. Mac hated how cold it was, feeling it under his bare feet. It was cold in the room and that helped him focus. 

“It’s night” he whispered to himself, feeling the cold and how it made him shiver which he reasoned was good.

Looking down, Mac frowned.

He was missing his boots and socks as well as his protective clothes. All he had on was his trousers, missing the knee guards, and the tan shirt he wore. 

He forced himself to observe his surroundings.

The walls were wood as well as the ceiling, smelling moldy. The wood was dark stained but Mac couldn't tell if they were shadows or something else.

There were no windows, the only light provided was from where the light came through the holes in the boards above him.

He didn’t know how much time had passed. 

Only one person came in and that was to place a pot on the ground, a smell rising from it that Mac couldn’t identify until he started seeing the colours and hearing voices.

 When the door before him opened, Mac couldn’t tell what was real. 

He felt hungry and the scratchiness of his throat told him he was dehydrated but he couldn’t get his mouth to form the words needed.

A man appeared before him.

He said something.

Mac frowned, choosing to watch the floating green ball as it moved across the room.

Burning touched his shoulder, forcing his mind back to the present.

“We need bombs. You will build us some” the man gruffed out.

Mac shook his head, holding back a growl.

The man said nothing. 

He raised his hand. 

He held a knife up towards Mac, moving it closer and closer till it was resting before his eye.

Despite the heavy drugs flowing through him, he could see the whiteness of the knife, how it burned his skin despite it not touching him, the small blowtorch in the other man’s hand resting between his knees.

The man lowered the glowing knife till it was on his left shoulder, where he put the knife the first time.

Mac clenched his mouth shut, glaring at the man.

The man grinned back.

Mac gasped, shooting up.

Panting, Mac clenched the sheets to his chest, holding them tight as he looked around the room, taking everything in,

“Home. I’m home” Mac mouthed to himself.

Swallowing, he winced as he felt the dryness of his throat. 

Breathing in through his nose to quell his panic, Mac breathed in the dust that covered the room, the smell of old sheets. 

He breathed in again.

All he could smell was burning flesh, mixed with the sharpness of iron.

Swallowing the bile that shot up to his mouth, Mac jumped out of bed, stumbling to the bathroom in his room, just making it in time to vomit into the toilet.

As he vomited, he breathed in.

All he could smell was iron.

Opening his eyes, which he didn’t remember closing, he stared down at the bowl. 

The water was filled with what he had eaten on the plane, all mush now that it had been digested but mixed in was red liquid.

Mac let the spit dribble down his mouth. 

It was red.

Mac vomited again. 

Forcing himself to breath through his mouth, Mac stood and flushed, looking at himself in the mirror.

He was pale, a red flush high on his cheeks. Red dotted his lips and he licked it, tasting his blood. 

His stomach twisted.

As he breathed deep, his eyes caught his hair. 

It was white.

As he stared, he gasped as the top of his head and shoulders started to burn as if the sun was shining directly down on him, bleaching his hair white from the endless exposure.

He tasted the dry air, filled with the scent of sand.

Swallowing, Mac felt his stomach lurch at the taste of mold and iron. 

Shutting his eyes, he lowered his head, holding onto the sink tight until the coldness of the room seeped into his bones, making him shiver.

Shaking himself, Mac forced himself to breathe through his mouth as he walked back into his bedroom, looking out the window. 

The sun hadn’t risen yet but there were hints that it was going to.

Changing, Mac forced himself to look down at his body, making sure there was nothing new and that everything had heeled.

Scars dotted his torso. Long scars from knives that crisscrossed his abdomen and upper chest. Burn marks scattered his shoulders and upper arms. 

Electrical burns near his hip.

Sharp scars that were raised slightly from burns on his arms and upper chest.

On the right side, just above his right hip was a stab mark.

He didn’t need to turn his head to know that there were scars on his back. He ran his fingers down his back, counting and feeling the raised scars.

Moving his hands in front of him, Mac wiggled them, watching the tendons in his hand move. 

He didn’t pray often but he was endlessly thankful that his hands survived the months he was in Afghanistan and Iraq.

After his check, he walked to the kitchen, sipping water and stretching. 

Once he was ready, he forced his mind to be blank as he left his house and started to run.

After his run, he sat on the couch, listening as distant cars drove up his driveway. 

He waited.

He had half a thought about food but decided against it, his stomach twisting as parts of his nightmare flashed before his eyes.

The men surrounded him. 

They kept touching him, even as he lashed out with his teeth, trying to make them stop.

They touched his arms, squeezing his muscles.

They caressed his legs, rubbing them.

They inspected his fingers, touching the calluses.

They pressed against his groin, trying to get him to react, making him watch as they pleasured themselves.

They threatened to go under his waistband if he didn’t comply with their demands.

Mac blinked, shaking his head as he shuddered. He moved to stand but stumbled.

Mac stumbled, hands grazing the hot sand beneath him. 

He tried looking around, seeing where he was. He didn’t know if he was in Iraq or Afghanistan.

He breathed shakily, trying to keep his breaths even as he ran.

The air was hot, burning his throat, making his need for water more apparent.

As he ran, he kept his eyes open against the glare of the sun, not knowing if the dark shadows he saw were in his head or in real life.

He ran from them all the same, tripping over his legs in his rush.

Landing with a thud on the sand, Mac gave a wordless yell, annoyed at himself.

Pushing himself up on thin arms, Mac tried to stand but when he blinked, the sand blurred. Over estimating his strength, Mac fell back to the sand. As he lay there, he forced himself to breathe.

The hot sand entered his mouth, making him cough.

Every cough was like fire. 

Shifting his legs, Mac gave a wordless scream.

He felt the dryness on his trousers from where he had to release his bladder. It made him worry because little waste was let out, giving him an idea of how starved and dehydrated his body was.

If he breathed in hard enough, and ignored the smell of hot sand, he swore he could smell decomposition. 

Decay.

Mac didn’t want to think about where the decay was. 

Mac didn’t want to think about how he could easily count his ribs.

Mac didn’t want to think about his teeth.

Mac didn’t want to think of anything.

Falling back on the couch, Mac breathed out a deep breath as he shook his head, smacking the side of his head. 

“Stupid. You’re fine” he growled to himself as he hit the side of his head hard.

“You’re fine”

Mac blinked up to see the face of someone he once knew.

“You’re going to be fine. We’ve got you” 

The man above him smiled down at him, moving to keep the shade on Mac’s face.

Mac blinked, slowly remembering the man and where he saw him last.

He was a fellow EOD. Mac remembered seeing the man in the mess hall before the Sergeant came and gave him and his overwatch their orders. Mac stared at the man before he looked around them.

They were on the outskirts of a town. 

Mac blinked, confused,

The man above him, who Mac read the nametag to be Ashley, seemed to see his confusion as he spoke “we saw you stumbling our way. Not sure who you were at first then when we did, my overwatch radio’d for help before running for the humvee. What happened to you? Everyone’s saying that you were kidnapped?”

Mac couldn’t answer, busy forcing his brain to keep up with Ashley’s words. 

After processing the man’s words, he mouthed “days?”

He hoped Ashley understood.

A second later, the EOD did. 

“Days? Oh! It’s been two weeks since you went missing.”

Mac just stared, blinking slowly.

The next time he blinked, he discovered that he was in the base medical tent, IV in his hand and a hospital gown on him. 

They told him what he already knew.

The scars on his back were infected and, despite being controlled and bandaged tight, would scar horribly as well as the various burn marks and cuts. The stab wound above his right hip was sewn shut, the area bright red with infection.

They had been forced to give him blood, saying that it should of been impossible to make it across the desert with the severe blood loss. They reasoned that it was his stubborn will to live that kept him going.

They told him he was lucky not to get tetanus or any other various diseases. 

Mac didn’t feel like he was lucky.

They mentioned that his sunburn and hair, which was bleached by the sun, would return back to normal quickly enough if he stayed in the shade and applied ointments.

He was incredibly thin and dehydrated and that he needed to eat small meals and begin some PT before he could retain his muscle strength again.

They told him not to talk for a few days due to his throat and lungs being inflamed.

The officers came to him, asking for information and showing him maps of his estimated escape path.

He motioned and wrote down what he knew and what the terrorists made him do. 

He told them of his escape and how the only option to escape was to do as they said. 

He built a bomb. 

He told them of detonating it in the room, using one of the terrorists as a shield and then running. 

They left him alone to rest once they got their information.

When he was well enough, he was back on light duty, rejecting the offer to be honourably discharged.

He wanted to join the hunt for the terrorists, get revenge for Sands, his overwatch that the army found a day after his kidnap.

They wouldn’t let him.

His reputation blew up with the new rumours, now with evidence. 

New EOD recruits surrounded him, asking for advice or truth to the rumours. Those who knew him when he was there in 2011 exaggerated his abilities.

The new rumour that Mac didn’t care for, was for his attitude. 

Cold, calculated and logical.

Later, when he heard that the terrorists were found, Mac was allowed a say in the punishment. 

“Throw them in a hole. No food. No water. Just the sun.” was all he said.

His nickname back in 2011 was Hollywood.

Now his nickname was Jack Frost.

Before long, he was back at work with a new overwatch.

Blinking harshly, Mac gasped when his knees slammed down onto the floor with a bang.

Shaking his head, he forced himself to breathe, slamming his hands down on the floor, feeling the buzz of pain shoot up his arms and into his shoulders.

"Focus!" he hissed to himself, frustrated.

Through the rush of blood in his ears, he heard the distant sound of car doors slamming.

Forcing his emotions down, he shoved himself off the floor, feeling the pain in his hands and knees but ignoring them. Sitting back on the couch, Mac forced himself to breathe, holding it until his breathing had returned to normal. 

He heard the knocks, the calls of his name but he didn’t answer, not bothered. As he sat there, he wondered about changing the locks because he knew that in a few moments, Bozer was going to use his key. 

The sounds of keys entering the door made him sigh.

Footsteps came towards him, Riley and Bozer calling out his name before they fell silent, standing in front of him with Matty, Desi and Russ Taylor behind them.

“Didn’t you hear us?” Desi asked, frowning.

“He did but obviously, he’s not in the mood” Taylor smiled, trying to sound uplifting.

Mac just stared.

Riley sat next to him, leaving a small gap and Bozer sat next to her, no one saying a word to him but giving him nervous looks.

Matty sat before him, in the same chair she occupied last night, Russ this time sitting in the armchair beside her, Desi once more leaning against the wall behind Matty, staring Mac down with a frown. 

Mac couldn’t be bothered to glare back at her.

“So, will you help us?” Taylor asked.

When Mac said nothing, Riley leaned forward slightly, hands twitching towards his but not reaching out “please”

Mac just sighed.

After getting home and resting, his body was now aching, bones sore. He didn’t realise how much he needed the rest until now.

He wanted to say no, use the excuse of just coming back from deployment, being in pain and that moving made him want to roll over and die but Bozer had now joined in with the begging. 

Mac said nothing.

Matty this time leaned forward, face serious but her eyes shined “Mac, i know you’re tired and you’re reluctant but i promise, it’s just this one last time. I’ll officially mark you down as retired afterwards if you like but please, one more time”

Mac stared at her, aware of the silence.

Sighing, Mac nodded.

“Look, i came to you all because i know you are the best but i also know that you’ve been out of the game so you’re clean” Taylor started, looking at them all.

Mac just sighed and relaxed back against the couch, ignoring the looks he received. 

“Hades X1, the bio-weapon, featuring a next-gen version of botulinum toxin. Just a gram could wipe out an entire population of any major city in a matter of days” Taylor repeated what he explained the night before, showing them the images of the bio-weapon on a small projector which shined onto Mac’s wall. 

“We will be going to Mexico City where in two days, the auction is being held. The place is crawling with criminal types, dictators.. the worst of the worst. What we need to do is sneak in, steal the ledger and find out who has it now” Taylor smiled at them, clapping his hands. 

Mac just closed his eyes.

Dressed up in a black shirt and black pants, Mac moved through the crowd, aware but not interacting with the team that talked to one another, trying to include him. After some work, he had managed to get the briefcase. Matty, back in his house and running point, asked for updates.

Mac stared down at the briefcase, asking for a distraction. 

Taylor, when Mac said nothing more, asked if Riley could cause a black out or help provide a distraction but before the hacker could reply, Desi was already moving, making trouble and yelling at a patron, Taylor quickly joining in to help her.

Mac immediately got to work, impressed when he saw that it wasn’t an electronic ledger but a paper one. Informing the team, Mac began looking around, ignoring Matty’s speaking about their buyer going underground if the ledger went missing. 

Mac got to work, improvising a way to copy the words onto some spare paper he found, which included heating up some metal till it was glowing white and heating the ink onto the spare paper, ignoring the team when Taylor warned him of the bad guys coming his way, ignoring Riley when she got excited and caused a distraction that lured the bad guys away. Mac just focused on his job. 

He blinked once, staring down at the glowing metal.

Blinking again, Mac’s eyes widened when he felt the burning on his shoulder, sharp and demanding. Looking up, Mac nearly fell back at the shadow of a man standing before him, glowing knife in his hand.

Stepping back, Mac blinked.

There was no one in the room.

Breathing deep, Mac shook his head, annoyed at himself for getting distracted.

He ignored the constant burning on his left shoulder and focused on the glowing metal in his hands, focusing on the mission.

Once he was done, he smirked when he knelt, placing the improvised device on the floor and watching as the curtains quickly caught on fire.

Joining the others on the way outside after pulling the fire alarm and forcing everyone to evacuate, Mac having snatched a lemon curl on the way.

“Did we get it?” Taylor asked as Mac joined him and wordlessly dropped bits of lemon on the paper, waiting for the words to appear. Once they did, Mac just handed him the papers, walking away. 

Their safe house, while in Mexico, was small and dusty and while the others complained, Mac just stood next to them, watching as Riley decoded the paper. 

Russ wandered off deeper into the house, mumbling something about finding clothes.

He saw Riley’s face change. 

“What is it?” Bozer asked, standing next to Riley, Desi next to him.

“Hades X1. The patent number used to identify it… it also belongs to someone else”

“Who?” Desi leaned in closer.

Riley said nothing as she pulled up the information. 

SPEARHEAD OPERATIONS

“Son of a bitch” Desi hissed just in time for Taylor to come back into the room.

Mac didn't have to move. Desi and Bozer jumping the man, slamming him into the nearest wall.

Taylor gasped, hands extended by his face as he explained, hurriedly,

“Look! Look, this was a contract I should never have taken. A bio-weapon meant to neutralise populations without destroying geographical assets"

“Neutralise?” Mac huffed "you mean murder”

Russ said nothing to him but they all understood.

Desi let him go and Mac barely listened as Russ went off on a monologue about the greater good and how he wanted the money but money makes you want more and more.

Riley’s voice drew them away to her.

“Our interagency frequency just got us a hit on the buyer. A Martin Bishop”

Mac stayed back as they talked. 

Matty, who was silent for most of the conversation, spoke up when Boxer asked what the “Canopy” key was.

“Canopy was the top secret security designation for DXS, which at one time was-”

“Phoenix” Mac murmured, frowning.

Matty hummed through their comms “he was before our time, before Oversight. He was like you, Mac”

Mac frowned at her voice, ignoring the others who looked at him.

“He was a brilliant mind paired with a soldier using science to save the world. His file says he’s dead, KIA 2006, but no body was ever recovered"

Mac thought of Jack. He wondered where his partner was and if he knew what Mac had done.

He wondered if Jack still cared.

“So, our terrorist is a ghost” Bozer winced.

“With a bio-weapon” Riley added with a grim smile.

Mac said nothing, thinking that if Bishop was like him, then he knew that the bio-weapon would be most effective with a delivery system. Mac pictured himself in Bishop's shoes and wondered what he would do and how he would do it. 

The first thing that came to mind was a rocket. A homemade rocket.

Just as he thought of this, Riley informed them of the list of aliases she found. Mac walked over to her, leaning over to look at her computer. 

“What aliases are linked to the buying of liquid oxygen and kerosene?”

Riley looked up at him for a moment before quickly typing. 

“What are you thinking?” Russ asked.

Mac wanted to ignore him but for the sake of all the innocent lives in the world, he shared his thoughts “if i was him, i would need a delivery system. I thought of a rocket, something homemade but for that, you need liquid oxygen and kerosene”

“A shipment of five cubic meters of kerosene was delivered to a property off the Angeles Crest three weeks ago. The name of the property owner.. Gregg Sallattem, one of his aliases” Riley informed them, looking back to Mac once she had finished, a small smile on her face.

Mac gave her a small smile back.

He felt guilty when she looked amazed, and relieved but before he could think on it further, he was reminded of how they abandoned him, how they disregarded him like everyone else in his life.

His smile vanished.

“The possible target could be Los Angeles" Russ stated.

Mac was already moving, ignoring Russ and Matty who spoke at the same time to “get to Angeles Crest” before an awkward silence fell over the comms.

Mac stayed back.

He let the team charge ahead, sneaking through the warehouse and tackling Bishop. He chose to stay back, watching with Riley next to him,

She looked at him,

He didn’t react to her.

Matty informed them of an explosion thirty yards behind the warehouse and with a comment directed mostly to Taylor, Desi and Riley were running off.

Mac stayed where he was, watching as Russ walked around Bishop, monologuing.

He stopped listening. 

Instead, he looked around and after categorising his surroundings, Mac made a plan. Spying the Nitrous gas can, he worked quickly and efficiently to create a hose and mask. 

As he put the materials together, his hands shook.

Mac frowned. 

Giving his hands a quick shake, Mac got back to work but once again slowed. 

The side of his head began throbbing. 

Mac winced.

As the pain increased, memories flashed through his mind.

He tried to focus on his hands, what he was doing but a sudden sharp pang in his head lowered his defence.

Flashes of men covered in tan and holding rifles filled his vision, the voices yelling at him in Arabic.

He could speak Arabic but the drugs made his hearing fluctuate, mixing between actually hearing them and their voices being replaced with the sounds of his blood rushing. He looked around the gloomy room, hands stuck above him, cuffed by the wrist in metal chains, the pain in his wrists sending sparks down his arm but he lost time, not knowing how long he’d been stuck in that position as he had lost feeling in his fingers long ago.

Something occasionally ran down his arm, making it slightly ticklish but he knew that this was his warning that he was still bleeding from where the ragged metal cut into his wrist.

The only thing he really knew was that he missed the wooden chair that he was first in.

He looked around again.

The room he was in was still the basic, small basement. 

Stone floors, dirty with bright red and dried blood stains. Mac hated how cold it was, feeling it under his bare feet as he was being allowed to stand. The smell of iron was heavy in the air, making his already queasy stomach clench.

He was in the middle of the room, hands locked in chains which were held above him on a pipe that ran from the wall in front of him, where the door was, to where it disappeared behind him.

He hated not being able to see behind him. 

Every blink made his head pulse, eyes constantly straining.

Someone was speaking to him.

He couldn’t focus, his vision sparked with black dots. 

Mac remembered once trying to hold his breath so he wouldn’t breathe in the gasses but the terrorists had learned what he was doing. 

Every time they brought the pots of drugs in and started smoking them, making the gas fill the air, they learned to make sure he was breathless first. 

Now, he just breathed in the gas, saving himself the burning pain of the whip or the beating with metal knuckles. 

It messed with his head.

Sometimes, voices yelled at him. People he knew like Jack or Riley. Sometimes it was someone he failed like Zoe. 

Once, he was sure he heard his mother.

Most times, he saw someone he knew. He, at first, tried to persuade himself that they weren't real but somewhere, in the silence and cruising loneliness, he got confused.

Sometimes it was Nikki, just standing there with her arms crossed, in a fresh suit, hair straight. She stayed silent, just staring and shaking her head. Most times it was Murdoc, laughing at him in pleasure, moving to touch him. 

Sometimes he moved behind him and Mac swore he could feel the psychopath’s touch brush against the whip marks, push down on broken ribs.

Occasionally it was Jack who stared sadly at him from the corner, not helping him.

Rarely, Riley or Bozer appeared but they mostly appeared as shadows. 

The man appeared in front of him again, yelling something.

Mac forced himself to focus, to get out of his head.

When Mac didn't reply, the man gestured to something behind him.

A man entered the room, whip hanging from his hand. Mac blinked as the man went out of focus. 

Forcing his eyes to focus, Mac tried to look at the man in front of him, praying that he’d talk once more time. He’d focus this time, he’d avoid the pain this time.

The man said nothing, only smirking. 

Just as Mac opened his mouth, not knowing what he was going to say but just hoping to delay the pain by any means necessary, the sharp blinding pain rained down his back, over and over again. 

Hot rivers ran down his back and down the back of his legs, spattering to the stone floor below him with a continuous plop…plop.

The whistle of the whip filled his ears once again before his back was lit up on fire. 

There was another whistle.

Burning.

His fingers touched something sharp.

They burned.

Mac blinked, confusion filling him as he looked around, not knowing where he was for a long second before awareness filled him,

Looking down to his fingers, he twisted them to see what he had done. 

His left hand had brushed against the ragged edge of the table, splitting the skin on the side of his palm. Blood bubbled up but the cut wasn’t deep enough for the blood to spill over.

Russ talking brought him back to the present.

He forced himself to focus.

Bringing the nitrous gas over, Russ asked what he was doing and only after a minor hesitation did he explain what the gas was for.

“It helps to loosen the tongue”

Russ grinned at him before holding Bishop’s head tight, allowing Mac to put the mask on.

After a few breaths, Bishop began to laugh.

Mac watched.

Russ, seemingly tired of the laughing, struck him across the face. 

Mac said nothing when Russ glanced at him.

“Where’s the rocket?” Russ asked, faux polite.

Bishop said nothing, keeping his eyes on Mac.

Mac stared back.

Bishop was the first to look away, a smile on his face and just as Russ raised his hand again, the man spoke.

“They told me about you, MacGyver”

Mac ignored Russ who looked to him, something sharp in his eye.

“You know, you and I aren't so different. We save people.”

Russ leaned forward “who is we? Who do you work for?”

“I work for everyone” Bishop grinned. 

Mac watched as Russ stepped back, something crossing his face before it disappeared.

Bishop's eyes were now stuck on Russ “look around, the whole world.. Is burning. It’s flooding. We’re starving and dying while people in power do nothing. We are doing something. DXS promised to save the world with science but they failed.. so i left”

Bishop continued to talk but Mac slowly stopped listening. 

Anything that happened after this mission was no longer his concern.

“You must do.” Bishop turned to him, staring him down “what will you do when the time comes, Angus MacGyver?”

Mac didn’t answer, aware of Russ’ eyes on him.

Without warning, Bishop suddenly jerked, eyes wide as foam bubbled out of his mouth. Russ jumped forwards towards him, grabbing Bishop’s mouth and opening it but Mac only saw foam. Something caught his eye and he moved to Bishop right, kneeling. 

“His watch, he had it laced” Mac was impressed as he initially thought that it was the classic cyanide in the tooth trick. 

Just as he stood, a rumbling took over the building and without thought, Mac ran out of the building, Russ following a moment later. 

Without needing to ask, Bozer, who had returned to Mac’s house and was situated with Matty, was informing them of the aqueduct they were standing on and in minutes, they were in the aqueduct, looking down a tunnel.

“What was that? The rocket?" Riley asked but Mac was shaking his head.

“No, i was wrong, It’s a torpedo” Mac stared down the tunnel as the others came to stand next to him.

Mac stepped back so they were all in front of him, no one at his back.

“If that goes off in a major city, it will shower the city with toxins and millions will die” he stated, aware of how Riley turned to him, eyes with a barely concealed panic.

Russ stared at him, guilt and panic just about visible.

Riley was immediately pulling out her tablet, typing. 

The others surrounded her, talking about miles of pipes and water systems. 

“We have about 40 minutes” Russ declared.

“We’re not going to find it in time” Desi’s voice rose slightly as she looked around the group. She stared at him and he stared back.

He thought, feeling like he was the only one who was actually calm enough to do so.

“In order to spread toxins throughout the city, the torpedo needs to hit a target with above ground water capabilities. That way the steam from the explosion can dissipate into the air” he said to them, calm.

Riley typed as he talked “the best way to do that is through one of the LADWP’s 421 distribution systems”

“There’s far too many” Russ shook his head, clearly stressed. 

“The torpedo has a massive payload and the distribution systems vary by size depending on geography and local water needs which means the pipes vary in size” Mac continued.

Riley smiled at him, tapping more quickly on her tablet “alright, i see where you’re going with this. Hacking the DWP to get the diameter of all the pipes heading towards those stations”

Mac, now that his part was over, stopped listening. 

He stepped back and let Bozer and Riley talk.

Instead, he wondered about how to stop it.

After talking about water levels and the closest stations in the middle of the city, Desi picked one. Russ looked at them before stopping on Mac.

“Right, now that we have that, how do we stop it?”

Mac had thought about that and was immediately asking Riley to find the nearest concrete plant or diaper factory.

Russ had asked if he heard correctly about the diaper factory but Mac just gave him a look, not bothering to explain.

Mac jumped out of the truck, listening to Matty who asked what his plan was.

Throwing back the tarp on the bed of the truck, Mac explained “the chemical we got at the concrete plant is sodium polyacrylate. It’s a polymer used to strengthen concrete”

Mac grabbed the buckets from the truck bed, filling them with the sodium polyacrylate with Desi copying him. Turning, he walked up the stairs of the platform which was above the tunnel where the torpedo had to pass through before it could reach its final destination.

“Same stuff used in baby diapers.. Super absorbent" he exhaled heavily as he and Desi lifted the doors which revealed the rushing water of the tunnel below. Looking into the water, Mac nodded to himself before turning to the valve behind him, moving to turn it “this valve opens up into the contact basin where water passes through before going into homes and businesses” Mac mixed his words with grunts when the valve resisted him.

“Did it stop?” he called to Desi and Riley who were standing at the doors, the sound of rushing water now muted.

Mac walked over to the stuff he brought and ordered Riley, Desi and Russ to start pouring everything in. 

“Okay, now that should absorb the water, creating a gel firm enough to absorb the impact of the torpedo but soft enough that it won’t explode on impact” as he spoke, he moved back down the stairs towards the tuck and as he ducked to pick up a shovel, he added “theoretically”

Mac was aware of how everyone paused. Going silent to stare at him. 

Grabbing more of the sodium polyacrylate in his shovel, he walked back up the stairs, the other following with buckets full of the chemical. 

Mac dumped it into the water, frowning.

The gel was sitting on top of the water, clumping together so the reaction wasn't happening as fast as it should.

Without thinking, Mac sat on the edge, feet dangling down to the water as he ripped his jacket off his shoulders.

Desi leaned forward, moving to stop him but Mac jumped down just before she could touch him.

The cold water surrounding him instantly made him want to gasp but he clenched his mouth shut, forcing his legs to pump so he could get to the surface.

Breaking it, Mac gasped, throwing his head to the side to get the hair out of his face.

Thankful he had half a mind to bring the shovel with him as he jumped, he held on to it tight and began to turn, the water moving in a whirl around him. 

The others said nothing above him.

After a second, Mac started to find it hard to turn, Desi announcing happily above him that “the gel is working”

The gel was thick around him.

Matty’s voice came to him “Mac, get out of there or the thing that stops this torpedo is going to be you”

Mac felt the gel harden around his chest, He struggled to breathe for a second but quickly forced himself to get his breathing under control “i can’t. It’s drying around me.. Like quicksand”

As soon as he said it, he was suddenly back in the forest, up to his neck in quicksand, flies and other various bugs surrounding him, buzzing by his head. Jack was next to him as well, telling him about his dreams and past events that seemed similar to the situation they were in.

Mac was brought out of the memory by Riley's voice, edging on panic “come on Mac!”

He looked up.

Only Riley was there, Desi and Russ gone.

“The gel should work but you should get to a safe distance just in case, okay?” he called to her. 

He wondered what Jack would do if Riley got hurt on his watch.

He wondered if Jack would punch him, like he almost did back when it was Riley's first real solo mission and Jack had heard the gun.

“I’m not leaving you!” she yelled back.

“Riley, you need to leave. Now” Mac felt calm.

Riley looked up and away but she didn't leave.

Mac just sighed, looking down at the gel and letting his mind wonder.

He wondered where Jack was and if he’d hear about it. He wondered if they were almost done with their hunt.

He wondered about a lot of things. 

The whirring of helicopter blades drew his attention upwards, Riley following his gaze.

“Russ?” Riley yelled to the helicopter.

“Careful, you almost looked impressed” Mac barely heard Russ' voice over the loud engine. 

A rope was thrown down to him.

Part of Mac was disappointed.

He didn't want to reach out and grab it.

He didn’t want to be free.

He didn’t want to go home where all that awaited him was nightmares. 

He forced himself to hold it, imagining that if Jack heard that he died, and left RiFley alone, then Jack would purposely bring him back to life just to kill him again. 

His team could leave him, let him die but by obligation, he couldn’t do the same to them.

After a few seconds, Mac knew that it was no use, all he was getting was pain and if this continued, dislocated wrists.

He let go. 

Riley shook her head at him before yelling at him to catch.

Mac looked up just as she tossed her backpack down to him. As much as he hated it, he knew what her plan was.

“Desi, when i tug on the rope, pull up fast” Mac ordered her once he made himself a harness. 

Without another word, he used what little space he had and dunked his head under, not waiting for confirmation. 

He held his breath.

Everything around him was blue and bubbles were frozen before him. 

He wanted to stay there forever.

He pulled on the rope. 

Next thing he was aware of was the harsh brightness of the outside world, Riley’s relieved face coming towards him and the feeling of air rushing by him,

He stayed a few moments in the air before his feet touched the ground again.

Mac grieved for a decision he didn’t take.

Mac didn’t accept the EMT’s help or advice. 

He knew what his injuries were, a bruised chest with bruises on his ribs. He knew how to take care of them.

He frowned at himself, not liking that he was completely soaked.

When Riley ran up to him, he allowed her to bring him in for a hug. As quickly as it happened, he pulled away just as fast, ignoring her frown. 

Desi and Russ appeared a moment later. Mac dodged a hug from Desi, ignoring her questions and how she tried to touch him.

He did accept Russ’ handshake, barely listening as the man praised him. 

“Well, what now?" Riley asked them from where she was standing next to him.

Mac shrugged before starting to walk away, thoughts of his cold, dusty home filling his mind. 

“Back to the real word, I guess?” Desi’s voice was loud, directed to him but Mac was tired. Too tired to care.

“The real world? Hang on now, have you forgotten the whole global conspiracy? The whole “world is burning” situation? Bishop said that there were others and that they will not stop” Russ stared straight at him.

Mac shook his head, looking mainly to Riley when she nodded slowly “what are you going to do? You don’t have the Phoenix anymore”

Desi moved forward till she was next to Russ, eyes serious and dark as she stared at him.

“You’re with us, you need the Phoenix as much as we do”

Mac didn’t answer, keeping his eyesight above Russ’ shoulder.

Riley stayed silent.

“Right, about that. There may be one other thing I forgot to mention” Russ gave them a small smile, proud. 

Mac entertained them all the way back to the Phoenix. 

Taylor walked them down the halls, the automatic lights turning on before him as he explained “um, it’s pretty much the way you left it with some.. Uh.. technical upgrades.. Had a cleaning crew come in here.. Oh! And I'm working on putting a foosball table over there”

Matty was beside Russ, looking around “you bought the Phoenix?”

“Yes, a few months ago. What? You didn’t think that I recruited you all for one mission did you?”

Russ walked them into the old war room. 

Mac blocked him out after that.

Russ explained and answered some questions from the team before asking, hands extended towards them “what do you say?”

Matty looked to Bozer.

Bozer looked back.

Desi stared at Russ.

Riley stared at Mac.

Mac just looked to the tiled ceiling, sighing.

“Are you guys serious? Yes” started Riley, turning to Russ, her voice breaking slightly as she laughed “it’s a yes”

“Hell yeah” Desi grinned next, giving a nod.

“What can I say? I’m in. Saving the world is more fun then pretending to save the world” Bozer shrugged, smiling wide at the girls.

Matty spoke next, factual “your asses would be toast without me, so, i’ll be here 

Russ nodded to her.

Mac was suddenly aware of the eyes on him.

“Mac?” Matty asked, voice soft. 

Mac sighed and stepped back.

“No”

He stepped backwards towards the door, ignoring Riley’s hurt look and Bozer’s frown.

“No. I’m tired and officially retired” he continued, giving Matty a hard look.

“Mac, you can’t just-” Desi started but Mac was already shaking his head, backing away.

“No. I agreed for one mission. That's it. Leave me be” 

It was the closest he was willing to beg.

Matty nodded, a soft look on her face.

Turning, he ignored the calls of his name as he walked down towards the doors, ignoring the feeling of déjà vu.

Ignoring the need to look back and wonder if Jack was watching, a sad but knowing expression on his face.

Ignoring the thought of looking back to see Riley and Bozer’s stunned expressions, not knowing what to do next.

Ignoring looking back to see Matty nodding in acceptance.

Mac sat on his couch, staring at the wall. 

His stomach pulsed with hunger but he ignored his need for food.

Sighing, Mac thought about the various projects he could see but he sighed again when he found that he didn’t have the motivation to move and inspect them, to try and complete them.

There was a knock on the door,

Mac kept sitting, hoping that whoever was there would go away.

There was another knock on the door.

Mac closed his eyes and waited.

Whoever it was didn’t go away no matter how much Mac prayed.

There was another knock.

Mac closed his eyes before he forced himself to stand. Walking silently to the door, Mac hesitated for a moment before opening it. 

There was a man standing before him, clothed in army fatigues and a bag on the floor by his feet.

Mac stared.

“Hey, Hoss”