Chapter Text
Shuffling around in his bed, Skylar fumbled with the blankets and positioned his body in multiple, uncomfortable positions. Though he was half asleep, he could faintly hear a soft snicker and a hand gently cup the side of his face.
He couldn’t really see who it was, but it lit up the very center of his heart with a sensational feeling. Something similar to what one would feel letting the sun’s rays kiss their face from a vast, uncloudy sky. Something so warm and incredibly vulnerable, it could lull an infant child to sleep in a matter of seconds.
The touch, so gentle and harmless, had him completely infatuated. The heat from the hand was so intimate, Skylar felt as though he could feel the blood rush through the vessels of each individual finger, slowly melting into the soft flesh of his skin. Like it was something he’s been longing for since he could think. Almost as if his body had desired it so much, it almost felt familiar.
As Skylar felt the hand rub their thumb back and forth along the cheekbone of his face, he lifted his own hand to grasp for it. Slowly and sluggishly, Skylar opened his hand to wrap it around the other’s, but just as he reached for it, he hesitated for a moment.
His hand stood still in the air and his mind grew hazy. His thoughts became more and more clouded, so in an effort to properly clear his head he tried looking into the eyes of the one beside him in search of reassurance, but as he struggled to make out their face, the blaring noise of an obnoxious siren began to ring in his ears.
pprrii pprrii pprrii!!!
The pulsating chime danced around the room of Skylar’s apartment and bounced off the walls in an energetic manner. The more it rang, the more Skylar’s head began to ache.
“Ugh…shit,” Skylar grumbled as he squeezed his eyelids shut. While turning his body around to his bedside table he stretched out his arm to turn off his alarm. As he pressed the off button he picked up his phone to check the time.
6:00 am
“Seriously, what’s wrong with me… again with that stupid dream,” he muttered as he lifted his body from his mattress.
There he sat quietly, alone on his empty bed.
Rubbing at his forehead and down to his eyes, Skylar peered towards his window to see the sky was as cloudy as can be and sat up to get ready for his morning class.
Routine went as usual; take a shower, brush teeth, eat breakfast, and remember to lock the door on your way out. This has been his life's mornings for the last few years now since he started college.
Maybe he missed his Mom and sister back at home. He hadn’t visited them in two years and the emptiness of his apartment only reminded him of how quiet his home had become. Though he and his mother had had their disagreements in the past, they did leave off on a good note and he truly did miss her face.
Maybe I’ll give her a call when I get back home today, he thought to himself.
Though Skylar could barely even have a face to face chat with Chan-il and the others, by no means did this make Skylar a loner. He did fine interacting with people at school and it wasn’t like he felt excluded from hang outs and drinking parties. It’s just that recently, something else felt like it was missing from his life, and up to this point, he’d decided to just try and ignore it.
And even though he could hardly keep in touch with his old high school friends, he knew that people just get really busy and can’t find time to hang out, and that was okay. But sometimes… people really do just disappear without a trace one day.
Like without knowing if you’ll ever really talk to them again, they leave your life without even saying goodbye, and the time when your lives were both intertwined, the sewn connection between your two paths abruptly stops, and you’re left with frayed edges and loose ends.
That’s just how life is I guess.
“Skylar, you okay?” said a voice, interrupting Skylar’s thoughts.
The sudden question made Skylar flinch a little and fidget in his chair.
When he refocused his mind, he was now sitting at a table with a tray of food, sitting beside a classmate from his last class. As he briefly glanced around, the cafeteria was filled with multiple students chatting or sitting quietly, eating right beside them.
Had there been this many people when he got here?, he wondered.
“Ah, sorry Seo-jun. What did you say?” Skylar responded.
“Seriouslly man, you’ve been so out of it lately. Have you been getting enough sleep?”
“Ah, haha, don’t worry about me, I'm fine.”
“No you definitely need to loosen yourself up a bit, you’ve been so stale lately. Do you need me to comfort you?” Seo-jun teased in a childish tone.
Skylar just side eyed him, but not in a condescending way, more in like an annoyed way. He knew Seo-jun was just messing with him.
“I mean look at your plate, you’re not even eating anything! Might as well just give it to me.”
This actually did make Skylar look down at his plate. Hardly any of his rice was gone and the whole time he had just been moving the meat and vegetables around with his chopsticks.
Am I really desperate enough to confide in this idiot?
In actuality though, Skylar knew better than to bottle up all his thoughts like he did in the past. He knew better than anyone else that doing so just caused trouble for himself and others, and he’d much rather not have to deal with that right now. So Skylar thought, maybe I’ll just open up a little, it wouldn’t hurt.
“Actually, I have been feeling a little strange lately,” he said quietly, shuffling his hair on the side of his head, “I don’t know how to exactly explain it.”
Seo-jun’s face lit up and excitedly scooted closer to Skylar, causing the chair he was sitting on to make a loud squeaking noise against the floor which led to a couple eyes being pointed in their direction.
“Go on, go on. Your good friend is here to listen, “ he pestered, waiting patiently because it was so rare that the oh so, studious Skylar was seeking emotional advice.
Before he continued, Skylar just gave him an annoyed look and tried to silently apologize to those around them for the sudden disturbance.
“I think maybe…I’ve been a little distracted by the past? I feel like something I had back then is something I need now but I know that trying to fill the void is a little impossible, or at the very least difficult. I don’t know… it’s like even my body physically misses the way it used to feel so going without it has become a little unbearable...I just think I should be focusing on studying instead of brooding on the past cause I can’t really do anything about it.”
Seo-jun didn't respond at first and instead just stared at Skylar silently. He looked a little shocked and at a loss for words cause this is definitely the most Skylar had talked about these types of thoughts and feelings, whether he’d liked to admit it or not.
“Seo-jun?...” Skylar asked, feeling a little uncomfortable now. I knew not to complain to this idiot.
“Skylar…you’re still in love with your ex aren’t you?” He said in a sympathetic tone.
“HUUHHH!?!” Skylar yelled into Seo-jun’s face, causing even more people than before to look at them, which made his face turn bright red, so he silently apologized to them again.
Skylar whipped his head back towards this idiot in front of him, and with a scary look on his face he said, “In what world made you come to that brainless conclusion?...When did I say anything about an ex or a person at all?”
He looked so agitated you could almost see the smoke rising off of his head.
“Because that feeling you described. It’s exactly how I felt when my girlfriend broke up with me, you described it to a T! Down to the feeling of wanting her back, to thinking nobody else can replace what you guys had,” Seo-jun explained, exaggeratingly holding his heart with both of his hands.
“No,” Skylar said sternly, “This is not about an ex, goddamn it.”
“No it definitely is, just by your reaction, it’s really pissing you off just by reminding you of her isn’t it?”
This bastard is really gonna make me lose my mind…
“Listen to me Skylar, I’ve been there, I missed her so bad!” Seo-jun sobs, “Just talking about this is making me want to cry right now!”
This guy is unbelievable…
“Hey! I have an idea! Why don’t we hit up a party in Itaewon and forget all about our past relationships!”
“You can’t be serious right now..” Skylar knew talking to this guy about this stuff was a mistake.
“Listen to me Skylar, if you want to forget the past, you gotta let loose and live your life to the fullest!”
Skylar hadn’t drank in a while and was never one to party till the sun rises. Just the idea of loud blaring music and tons of people surrounding him didn’t really sound like something he’d be into at the moment. But…he was running out of options in getting rid of this sinking feeling in his heart…and tomorrow was the weekend.
“Come on Skylar! I’ve never taken you out to party before,” Seo-jun whined.
Skylar felt a little cramped by Seo-jun’s pleading and was trying to come up with a response.
…
“Fine…,” he finally responded.
“No way…Yeon Skylar actually agreed to go clubbing with me…” Seo-jun said with a dropped jaw, “Can I invite others as well?”
“As long as I know them already.” Skylar muttered.
“Of course! Of course! Let’s have fun and say goodbye to the past together, Yeon Skylar!” he said enthusiastically.
What have I gotten myself into…looks like I won’t be calling Mom tonight.