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Language:
English
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Published:
2016-06-13
Words:
403
Chapters:
1/1
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8
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46
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Absence

Summary:

John left for South Carolina and Alexander is missing him. Set late 1778.

Notes:

First fic I've written after suffering from a horrible case of writer's block. First attempt at Lams. First time writing historical fic.

Lots of firsts here. Let's go.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

My dear Laurens, ever since your departure from camp, I have become keenly aware of just how important your presence is for my well-being. Your absence has caused bitter loneliness to settle within my bosom and I find myself longing for your company more and more with each passing day.

The early hours of the morning seem so much colder and melancholic. Without you, the first rays of the dawning sun are left to wake me. I like to pretend that they are your lips, pressing brief kisses against my cheeks and eyelids. The reminders of the few times it had happened are what helps me through the morning. I do not think you know of it, but I crave these few stolen moments more than anything.

You might think it unprofessional, but I fear my duties as an aide have also suffered profoundly in the wake of your leave. I strive to keep the pace of my work steady, knowing that if I allowed myself a moment of idleness, my thoughts would surely wander to you. In the first week of your absence, McHenry and Tilghman caught me staring vacantly at the place by the desk normally occupied by you. They have jested me endlessly about it. I have little doubt that you would also berate me for such womanish sentiments.

Without you by my side, the day passes uneventfully and time seems to drag out like molasses. Most of it is taken up by dealing with my workload, translating and transcribing various letters and documents for His Excellency. It is perplexing that I have never noticed the banality of the task when I had you to keep me company.

As the night falls, my need for your presence increases tenfold, for it seems that it was the one thing that made these winter nights bearable. I long to be able to curl into the warmth of your embrace, to press my face into the soft skin of your neck. The way you would caress my scalp with your gentle fingers, soothing my frayed nerves and ensuring an undisturbed sleep.

I have never expected to become so dependent on you, and yet you had bewitched me and have me incapable of existing on my own. So, I beg of you, my dear friend, make your return to us as swift as possible, if only to calm the frenzied mind of your Damon.