Chapter Text
"Hey, hold the door-!" A girl ducks under your arm, which you're using to stop the elevator door from closing, and slips into the elevator behind you, "Thanks. Didn't want to be late on the first day, you know?"
Now, that's the kind of punctuality you can appreciate.
"Hey, NP." To your surprise, Sollux slips in right behind her and stands beside the girl. Stands beside her the way you do a very close friend or a sibling, almost leaning against her. He looks more chill than you've seen him in a while. You wonder what meds they've got him hooked on.
"Hey, Pawllux." You smile at him, "Who's your furriend?"
"Oh, this is TZ." He points at her with his thumb, "She's joining our group."
"Hi." The girl offers a small wave, "It's nice to meet you."
"Yeah..."
But you should go back a little.
Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you are fifteen years old. You live with your Mom and your older sister in a sweet little house on the edge of town, where you spend most of your time. You have obsessive compulsive disorder and have been attending a therapy group to deal with it for as long as you can remember. Attending this group is the only time you leave the house.
Today is a Wednesday, which means group.
More importantly, there's a girl standing in close proximity in the elevator and you can't stop smiling at your sneakers because of it. She's very... Pretty wouldn't be the right word. Pretty seems too soft for this girl. Attractive, perhaps. She's dark-skinned, dressed in bright red and turquoise, with a mess of curls tamed into a knot on top of her head. She's dressed for the summer and you can see her broad shoulders and long legs. Your face turns hot.
"Can you get the elevator button?" The new girl asks you, because you're the closest. Secretly, you wonder if it's because she doesn't want to touch them. The thing is about all your friends existing within an OCD help group is that you're always wondering if they're just asking for convenience or because they're afraid.
You press the button for floor twelve and go back to tugging on your parka. One, two, three, four, five. Breathe. One, two, three, four, five. Breathe. One, two, three, four, five. Breathe. If anybody notices, nobody comments. You're always nervous outside the house.
"How was your week?" The new girl asks you.
You shrug because it's always the same. "Fine."
"Do anything cool?"
She doesn't know. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. She doesn't know.
You shake your head and continue staring at your sneakers. They're brand new, you took them out of the box this morning. Ever since the whole incident happened... You burnt all your clothes and threw out all your shoes, trying to shake the event from your life. It didn't matter what you did. You couldn't shake it. Since then, you've worn the same outfit every day. You wash it at night.
Like Einstein, you tell yourself, but well... He was mad too, wasn't he?
You can't wash shoes, so you just buy new ones.
"My sister took me to the skate park and I tried out some rad tricks." The new girl, TZ, continues, "Sollux here came too but he's no fun. He just watched."
Except she uses his real name. You don't do that here. She clearly doesn't know anything about group because she's already made two mistakes.
1. Everybody here goes under a false name to remain anonymous. Your name isn't really Nepeta's, that's just what you made up. Your therapist said a sense of anonymity would really help everybody talk about their fears. You call yourself Nepeta, you call Sollux... Well, Sollux. The new girl clearly doesn't know this.
2. Nobody makes conversation in the elevator.
That's why you don't respond and exchange pointed looks with Sollux, as the girl babbles about all the rad tricks that she learned. The elevator reaches your floor and you step out, putting one hand to the wall as you walk down the corridor, until you reach the room. The door is unlocked, so the germaphobes don't have to touch the doorknob.
"Wow, so this is the place?" The girl from the elevator is loud, embarrassing, and gripping Sollux's arm, "Neat."
You take your regular seat, nearest the window, and cross your ankles. It's the same circle of people that there is every week with one extra chair for the new girl to sit in. Eight people in group now. You and several other people shiver at the even number.
As usual, Dirk and Sollux settle on either side of you and you slip down a little further in your chair. You sneakers scuff against the floor and there's a squeak, which makes you flinch. You hope you haven't marked your sneakers in any way.
"Hello, everybody." Mr "Don't call me Kankri" Vantas takes his seat next to Dirk and flips the page on his notebook, "It's nice to see everybody again. And to see a new face."
"Oh, yes, it's great that we're all stuck here." Dirk mutters.
You smother your smile, glancing at him. He catches your eye and winks. Though you wouldn't say you were close friends with Dirk, you're definitely acquaintances. He's very funny.
The girl introduces herself as Terezi. You aren't sure if that's her real name or if she caught onto the idea that she wasn't meant to use her real name. You're curious. She sits and taps her left foot, whether consciously or subconsciously you aren't sure, and repeats what she told you in the elevator about her week. Then, she adds that she has obsessive compulsive disorder. You'd kinda figured that one out. She falls quiet, rubbing her eyes. Well, it is hay fever season.
After that, it's the usual. Everybody takes it in turns to speak. You're penultimate because you're sat next to Dirk, who's sat next to Kankri. You listen patiently to everybody else but it's not long before you zone out and start looking out of the window. There's a reason you like this seat after all. When it gets to your turn, Dirk coughs to get your attention. All the germaphobes in the room tense up automatically.
"I had a good week." You say.
"Did you go anywhere?" Kankri asks, looking up from his notepad.
"My mom took me to the supermarket with her." You tell him, "It only took me ten minutes to get through the door."
Ten minutes of counting and rituals, sharp breaths, and several tears. But you did it.
"That's great, Nepeta." Kankri smiles at you.
Then, it's Dirk's turn. You're about to lower your eyes again, when you make eye contact with Terezi, who is staring at you. You think. Though, it's a little hard to make out where her gaze is fixated through her thick red lenses. But her head is definitely turned towards you and her eyebrows are furrowed, as if she's trying to figure you out. You stare back at her, wondering how she can see at all through those glasses, then you realise that she must have very poor eyesight. That must be why Sollux had to guide her to her seat.
You lean forward curiously.
Terezi lowers her glasses and winks at you. It's so fast that you swear you imagined it but you catch her grinning and realise that it was sincere. A girl just winked at you. You're buzzing for the rest of group.
Afterwards, everybody files out and you return to the elevator. Once again, Sollux and Terezi, amongst others, slip in beside you and stand there waiting. You press the button for the bottom floor and Terezi nudges you in the ribs with her elbow.
"So, how come we never hung out before?" Terezi asks, "Sollux never even mentioned that he had a cute friend at his therapy group."
You shrug, hoping your face isn't as red as it feels. "We aren't really furiends. Outside of group. We just sit next to each othfur and sometimes, talk afterwards."
"Dude, that's lame. We should all hang out sometime. We could catch a movie."
I can't, you think.
She smiles at you so earnestly that you nod, dumbly. "Cool. Give me your phone, I'll put my number in."
You dig through your pocket, retrieving your phone, and slap it into her hand. She grins at you, so maybe you're a little too eager. She seems to have a good handle on how to use the keyboard, despite her poor eyesight, and enters her phone number quickly. Aside from your Mom, your sister and 911, Terezi is the only number you have. She's written it under Terezi too and again, you wonder if it's her real name or one that she made up for the sake of group.
"I'll call you." She says.
As the elevator doors slide open, you dart out into the lobby, intending to race to your mom's car and leap into the backseat before your anxiety can cripple you. Instead, Sollux catches you by the arm and waggles his eyebrows at you.
"Looks like somebody's got a date."
"You're coming too, dumbass." You tell him, but you secretly hope he's right.