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The next city Danny came to was definitely cursed. He knew this because one moment it was nice and sunny and the next it was dark and gloomy. He flew back two feet outside the city border. It was nice and sunny, there was birdsong in the air. He flew forward two feet into the city limits. It was dark and gloomy with the sound of sirens. He flew backwards again. Birdsong, sunshine, and were those sparkle sounds? Forwards, darkness, night, creepiness and maybe a hint of mad cackling.
Yup, definitely cursed. Whatever. Danny shrugged. It wasn’t his problem.
He descended to street level and transformed. Maybe he could cause some chaos as Danny. That would be a change. He had experience being the ‘Phantom menace’ now he could be the ‘Danny menace’!
Hmmm… on second thought Danny thought, tapping his chin as he skipped along a sidewalk ignoring everyone giving him strange looks, ‘Danny menace’ doesn’t actually sound that great. Maybe ‘Human menace’? Naw. What about ‘Fenton menace’?
No, that was his dad’s driving skills.
Oh, well, he had some time to workshop it.
He continued along the grimy streets, swatted away a shadowy tentacle that reached out to him from an alleyway. Ew. Gross. He scrunched his nose up as he looked at his hand. It had left stinky curse residue on him. He wiped it off on his pants. Hopefully it would wash off.
Up ahead he sees a super tall skyscraper.
Excellent. Skyscrapers were owned by rich people. It would make a most excellent target for Danny’s most evil villainy. But what to do, what to do. There was a big old letter ‘W’ at the top. Maybe Danny could mess with that.
A lightbulb went off in his head and Danny let off a cackle that caused people to veer away from him. No matter. Danny kept chuckling evilly as he rubbed his hands together. All he needed was a cat. He looked around, and what excellent luck he had! There was a cat right there!
He scooped it up. It was an orange tabby, but it definitely didn’t feel like a normal cat. Danny held the definitely not a cat up to eye level.
“Will you please let me stroke your fur like an evil villain?” he asked the not a cat.
“Meow.” the cat said, which Danny took to mean yes.
“Thank you.” he said, it was always good to play nice with things that pretend to be what they weren’t
He stroked the cat as he gazed up at the building and laughed evilly.
Wait a second! He also needed a spinny chair.
Hmm…. where to get one of those…
—-
Ten minutes later Danny sat on top of the roof the skyscraper on a spinny chair he’d made by duct taping a piece of cardboard to a small fruit crate to make a chair shape. He’d then attached some wheels he’d stolen from a dumpster. It didn’t spin that great, but it would do.
The not a cat, who Danny had decided to call Duck was sitting contentedly in his lap as Danny waited for whatever superhero this city had. He hoped they would come soon. Danny had just completed a wonderfully evil plan and he needed someone to appreciate it.
He giggled as he looked at his masterpiece. He had flipped the ‘W’ upside down and painted it yellow. Danny really hoped they had McDonalds here, otherwise no one would appreciate his joke and he’d have to come up with some other evil plan.
Finally, after what had felt like forever, Danny heard someone land on the roof behind him.
“Mwahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!” Danny chuckled as he spun around while stroking Duck the not a cat’s fur. “Finally, you have arrived.”
Then he had to pause for a moment to wonder if this was a hero or a villain. All the other heroes he had encountered in this dimension dressed in bright colors and had silly costumes. And while this person had a silly costume with a cape and cat ears, they were also dressed all in black. But it wasn’t like that automatically made him a villain. Danny wore almost all black, and the villains of this dimension also seemed to were brightly colored party costumes too. Then again, this city was cursed. It would make sense if its hero wore dark colors. And why would a villain come confront Danny. Unless this was the villain's skyscraper?
Danny mentally shrugged and continued with his speech. What did he care if he was being a villain to the local villain or hero. Either way, Danny got to have fun.
“I bet you are wondering why I summoned you here today, Captain Furrypants.”
The man across from him made a strangled noise, and Danny smirked, continuing to stroke Duke who was purring on his lap.
“I’m Batman.” the clearly cat themed hero across from Danny said.
“It matters not who you think you are!” Danny proclaimed. “You have fallen for my trap!”
As he finished speaking, Danny let the glitter he had telekinetically suspended above the center of the roof become visible and fall. The hero was glomped by glitter so that his previously black suit now sparkled green.
Danny cackled. He’d be cleaning that glitter off for weeks! Danny was cackling so hard he almost missed seeing Dr. Kitty throw something in his direction.
Danny scrambled away, taking care to protect Duck the not a cat, who Danny quickly set down. He didn’t want to risk the not a cat getting hurt. Who knew what the not a cat might do if they felt threatened? Duck the not a cat might eat them.
Danny looked back to see what Captain Dark and Gloomy had thrown. It was… a granola bar? Danny turned back to look at Mr. Creepycat. Professor Black Cat walked a bit further away before tossing another snack, this time fruit gummies, between the two of them. Danny cautiously walked forward and picked it up. Catman backed up again and tossed a protein bar between the two, this time closer to Dr. Meow.
Was Captain Feline trying to lure Danny closer like one would a stray cat?
Danny narrowed his eyes at Meowman. “What are you doing?”
“I have plenty of food at home.”
What?
“You’d have siblings.” Dr. Kittypaw continued his insane speech.
“Are you ok?” Danny asked, genuinely concerned for the man who thought they could just lead a full grown adult to their house using snacks. (Danny was seventeen but that was basically an adult.)
And wow, the way that Danny had worded that thought made Mr. Furry sound like a creeper, but Danny had a sneaking suspicion the man wanted to adopt him. He reminded Danny of how Vlad acted these days. The man had really gotten his act together and now he and Danny had a tentative friendship. Though the man kept giving him gifts to try and entice Danny to spend more time at his castle so they could bond as godfather and godson.
Was Furryface trying to adopt him? He did mention siblings…
“I could take care of you.” Count Scratchula said, tossing another snack between them. Danny eyed the chocolate bar. It was rather tempting… Danny was always up for free food. It might not be that bad really. Danny could stay with Dr. Heropaw for a while, eat good food, play some pranks, before moving on to the next city…
“Do you want to meet your siblings?” Captain Catastrophe said before tossing a handful of snacks onto the roof. Danny was only able to make out some beef jerky, trail mix, and what looked like dried pickles before a group of costumed individuals descended on the snacks like birds descending on birdseed. Except this was a furry brigade descending on furry-snacks.
Danny shuddered to think that he had almost become one of them.
“Well….” Danny said. “I’m gonna head out.” all their heads snapped in his direction, and wow… they almost all had black hair… hmmm…
Yup. Danny was out of here. He quickly picked up Duck, made them invisible and flew away from the rooftop as fast as he could. He looked back one more time, and couldn't help giggling at the yellow ‘M’ he had left on the rooftop, along with the green glitter covered Dr. Purrrrr.
Sue him. He was hilarious.
But Danny didn’t really feel like dealing with the furry cult. It was bad enough that one time that cult had summoned him. They had all been wearing those kid footie pajamas that look like animals, and they had sacrificed a stuffed goat to him.
That had been weird, even by Danny’s standards.
Well, now that his act of villainy had been completed he could leave.
After dropping off Duck the not a cat of course.