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Danny had planned on leaving. But, well, you see…. He’d been flying over the city when he saw a building covered in glistening ice. It had been too interesting to resist checking out.
Upon flying in, he saw that it was some sort of bar. He’d been about to fly out again, bars were boring even if this one was somehow covered in ice, but then he’d spotted them.
Penguins!!!!
Cute, adorable penguins! Danny almost squealed with how cute they were. How could he not stay longer?
He flew invisibly down to them and started petting one. It startled at first but soon leaned into the scritches.
Danny made sure to give them all pets. They were so cute!
But while he was petting them he thought about his encounter with Mr. Kitty Cat. It had sorely brought down Danny’s villain mood. Maybe Danny could do something villainous here? But villains had pet cats, as proven by Vlad, not pet penguins.
But maybe Danny could be a villain with a pet penguin? Maybe he could steal these penguins? He was sure Frostbite wouldn’t mind Danny keeping them in a secion of the Far Frozen.
But, Danny lamented, he wasn’t sure how the ectoplasm would affect the cute little suit wearing birds. He didn’t want them turning into murder birds. Or did he? He could have a murder bird army! All dressed in fancy little suits! He thought grinning maniacly.
But no. He thought, pouting. Jazz would kill him if the murder birds organized themselves and staged a coup to take over the Realms. Then again… if they did stage a goup then Danny wouldn’t have to be in charge.
But he also didn’t want to steal someone’s beloved pets. He wasn’t that kind of evil villain. Oh well, maybe he could get penguins from somewhere else? Wasn’t there a book and a movie where a guy had a bunch of penguins? He shoved the thought aside to think about later.
For now, he’d make sure to post a blob ghost to watch over these precious penguins to see how they were treated. If they were loved and well cared for, then he supposed he wouldn’t be able to take them home with him. But if they were being mistreated… well… Well, then wouldn’t it be Danny’s responsibility to make sure they had a safe home?
And then it wouldn’t really be Danny’s fault if murder birds took over the Realms. He would just have been protecting mistreated animals by providing them with a home where they’d be taken care of.
But for now, he should do something villainous. He cackled to himself silently not wanting to attract attention just yet. He looked around, trying to figure out what he could steal. This place looked rich enough, they could afford a few things going missing. Or he could vandalise something?
He flew around invisibly and intangibly until he found where they stored the alcohol. He stuffed a few of the fanciest looking bottles in a pocket dimension. He may not be twenty-one yet, but what Jazz didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.
He flew around some more before coming to an abrupt stop after entering a room deep in the basement level of the bar.
Well, Danny thought, that’s a lot of weapons. He looked around even more and found more weapon staches, what looks like a dungeon, and a room full of what he thinks are illegal drugs. The last room he entered looked like an office, and in a safe he found what looked like evil villain plans.
Well, now Danny knew to mess with stuff since it was obviously an evil villain's secret evil lair. He dropped the drugs into a pocket dimension and the weapons into another. Then for good measure, he grabbed a few more fancy looking wines and other alcoholic stuff. Hey, don't judge him. How was he supposed to know which ones were better or cost more? He’d never been to a bar. Well, not counting a ghostly one he’d stumbled across in the Realms once. But that didn’t count.
After dropping them into yet another pocket dimension and hoping he’d be able to find everything later and that it wouldn't turn into another incident like the time he wanted to pull out a thermos and accidentally pulled out a moldy sandwich he’d forgotten about, he felt a lot better. This felt much more like an evil villain act then just vandalising the sign at the top of some random tower.
Or would this be considered a heroic act since he was stealing from a villain? Whatever. He’d vandalized that one tower and stolen it from a rich person. It didn’t matter that this particular rich person seemed to become a kind of ice or engine obsessed super villain.
Besides, all rich people are villains in Danny’s book. Except for Sam, though it could be argued, that really, it was her parents who were rich. Whatever. Danny wasn’t going to think about this any more.
But did stealing from a villain make him a hero? He was trying to be a villain, not a hero. But if stealing itself was wrong, then wouldn’t stealing from a villain still make him a villain and not a hero? What made a villain? A hero? What was evil? What was good?
Danny slapped himself.
That was enough philosophical exploration for one day.
Danny flew back up into the main part of the bar, gave the penguins a few more scritches and prepared to leave.
But then a guy came running into the room and ran up to another guy who had a long nose.
“Boss, the weapons are gone! So are the—” he was cut off as one of the other men standing next to the apparent owner of this icy establishment covered the messengers mouth with his hand.
“What!” the long nose person screeched at the same time, sounding very much like a penguin. Huh. Maybe that’s why the guy had penguins. He must feel a kinship to the fancy dressed birds. Maybe the guy has some kind of penguin powers?
Below him the guy kept screeching nearly unintelligibly, and Danny couldn’t resist making himself visible and cackling madly.
“Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” he cackled, proud at how long he’d made the ‘a’ go on. “You’ve done been robbed!” he said, pointing at the long nosed fellow. Now that he thought about it, the long nose reminded Danny of a beak. Hmmm. Maybe the guy did have penguin DNA after all.
“A new bat!” Penguin Man screeched.
“I’m not a bat.” Danny said, confused.
“A bird then.” Dr. P. Guin sneered.
“What are you on about?” Danny asked, putting his hands on his hips. Maybe this guy had a bird brain too. Though that was probably doing a disservice to birdkind everywhere.
“A new sidekick to the Bat!”
Oh wait. “Do you mean the man with cat ears?” Danny asked, tilting his head to the side and squinting. He supposed the ears could be like a bat, and it would explain the cape. Cats didn’t have wings, not normal living ones at least.
“Cat ears?” Captain Birdman said, confused.
“No, I’m not with Catman.” Danny responded. “I’m a villain! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha–”
The window in the roof shatters. What were those things called? Sky windows. Roof viewers? Glass in the sky?
He’s so distracted trying to remember what windows in ceilings are called he almost misses Catman dropping in through the shattered glass.
“Well,” he started, putting his hands on his hips, “that’s my cue to vamouse. Sayonara everyone! Evil Villain Man out! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” Danny cackled as he turned invisible and flew away.
Now he was definitely, positively, most assuredly, getting out of town.