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Sinking.
Slowly descending through the fog, the mist so thick it felt suffocating.
A smell tickled his nose. He tried to lift an arm but found himself paralyzed.
Muscles tensed against the feeling of helplessness as his mind became hazy.
“Shhhhh”
A whoosh of wind blew past his ears. A soothing sound. A sound that equated to calm.
Muscles relaxed slightly and he felt his head lean back, almost hanging in the suspension as he was immersed in the turbid clouds.
“Calm.”
The sound permeated his mind. His ears no longer seemed to work, all sound choked out by the growing mist. But the gentle voice somehow made it through.
He continued to lower, further sinking within the fog. It engulfed him, carrying him down, father and farther away. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even form a thought. Like a leaf floating down from a tree during the crispness of fall he continued until his back touched something gentle.
His body was laid within the aqueous, his clouded gaze staring up at the nothingness. Below him, the surface began to ripple and he was floating, weightless over the unknown expanse.
His head gently ebbed, his body softly flowed as the surface changed. Like floating down a river, he was carried, farther and farther away from the nothingness of the mist. His half lidded eyes continued to stare upward as he drifted, his quills spread around his head. He didn’t move, he couldn’t move, and though he felt he should be scared, his body remained calm and compliant.
After a time (there was no time here) he stopped, though his body still remained prone. The ripples continued, his weightlessness constant. And as he continued to stare, he began to sense another presence. A being. He was not alone.
This alone spurred him to try and move, but his body remained still. His eyes drifted toward the noise, trying to see who, or what, was approaching. Small, tan feet padded within his vision, and as he tried to freshen his gaze, a petite, peach echidna entered his sight.
There was an ethereal glow surrounding the being as she smiled down upon him. He blinked his eyes a few times. He was sure he was hallucinating. But as he refocused his mind, his eyes continued to take in this mysterious being beside him.
Seeing his confusion, she giggled, a sound that resonated like a song through the trees.
“Hello, sweet child.” she spoke, her smile reaching her eyes.
Her hand reached down and suddenly he could feel again, could feel her hand nestle within his own and pull. He was raised, like a doll from the floor, the heaviness of the mist drifting away as he found his footing next to her.
He was taller than she, at least by a few inches. This required him to gaze down to meet her eyes. Blue like the clear sky her eyes met his He blinked a few more times. Was this a dream? Was he dead?
His uncertainty must have been evident within his orbs, because she smiled wider and placed her other hand over his in a comforting gesture.
“Do not fret, young Guardian. You are not dead, nor are you dreaming.”
His eyes squinted, a swallow moving like molasses down his throat.
“What is this place?” he whispered. Startled by his own voice returning, he rubbed at his throat to clear it.
“A kind of in-between.” she spoke. “A place where your mind is fully clear. It is not awake. It is not sleep.”
He looked down upon her again, and his eyes widened at the expanding grass and flowers that now covered the ground. He lifted his head, moving his eyes sluggishly around him. No longer was there an aqueous, but a great expanse of green. Trees were seen licking the edges of the clearing. And straight behind her was an alter, tall as a mountain as it towered behind her.
“And who are you?” he asked, voice remaining soft through his confusion.
“Me?” she asked, as innocent as new babe. “I am Tikal.”
Knuckles’ mouth dropped, eyes widening in shock. He immediately went to one knee, kneeling before her in a show of submission.
“Lady Tikal,” he spoke, his voice shaking from disbelief. “How…”
Her smile widened as she looked at him, penetrating blue eyes grasping his full attention. She reached out and placed a small hand on his cheek, her touch felt like the warmth of the sun on a summer day. He swallowed hard under her gaze, a pink reaching his cheeks.
“You, my child,” she began, running her hand under his jaw. “Are a guardian of our great emerald. And your connection to it allows your connection to me.”
He tilted his head slightly to the right as he took in her words. A connection to an echidna from beyond. It was something he did not know was possible. He had heard the tales of Tikal around a communal fire. Her story filtered through generations of stories spoke of a deep connection with the emerald.
He looked down upon her face and his heart began to race beneath his chest. His eyes widened in child like excitement as he began to understand what this could mean.
“If you are here, does that mean…” he began to look back and forth over the expanse of the land before him. There was nothing, not another being within his sight. He lifted himself to his tip toes in desperation as he eyes scanned the vast horizon.
A soft squeeze on his hand drew his attention back to her. He lowered himself back to his feet and as he took in her melancholy, his heart began to sink.
“I am sorry, my child.” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “They are not here.”
A slow burn began at the back of his throat at her words. He swallowed hard as he tried to fight the developing moisture in his eyes. He closed his lids, processing the weight of his disappointment. Another squeeze to his hand brought his welling eyes back to her, her being blurry by his threatening tears.
“But, if you are here…why…”
“They are moved on, child.” she began, holding his large hands in hers. “They have passed through the veil into the afterlife. But do not fear, they may not be where you can see, but they are always here.” She pointed to his chest where he knew his heart was hidden.
He swallowed hard, his disappointment and confusion burning through. He looked at her, trying to blink the threatening moisture from his eyes.
“Then,” he whispered softly, “why am I here?”
She gave his hands another squeeze, then dropped her hands from his grip. A hesitant smile creeped across her delicate features.
“I have felt your presence since the moment the emerald became yours.” she began, voice gentle, like a mother to a child. “I have heard your prayers, I have watched you grow, I have felt your heart.
“You have been through so much, young one. Abandoned by war. Living through hunger and loneliness. Your free will stripped from you. Fighting to survive. Overcoming your shackles to finish your quest.”
He dropped his eyes at the proudness in her voice. She talked as if he had done something great. But didn’t she know he was also bad? How he had failed? He began to chew at his lip, unable to meet her gaze.
“And through your pain. Through your loss. Through the betrayal and hurt. You managed to find yourself again. To find a new tribe…a new family.”
“My lady,” he interrupted, his voice gruff with doubt. “I appreciate your kind words, but I am none of those things.” He swallowed, letting out a shallow breath. “I have hurt the innocent. I almost killed the hedgehog, who is now my ally, out of anger. I exist to atone and to return a debt I will never be able to pay.”
He expected her to agree, because why would she not? And as he waited in his shame, head lowered toward the ground, a sound filtered to his ears. It started soft, like a lullaby, but after a time it crescendoed into a musical melody. He found himself looking up at her joyful face. His cheeks flushed in her mirth, confusion clouding his vision.
Her giggles began to soften but her eyes continued to shine. She put her hands on her hips, beaming at his sullen face.
“Oh, you stubborn child.” she laughed, causing him to frown like a like a puggle being scolded. “Echidna are a headstrong species, but you may beat them all!”
He stood, almost affronted by her words. His eyes narrowed as he watched her shoulders shake. “You laugh at me?”
“Oh, no, little guardian.” she replied, reaching her hands back to his. He watched her hands as they moved if only to give him a break from her penetrating gaze. But as his eyes dropped a small hand landed under his chin to pull him up.
“I must insist that you listen to my words,” she spoke sweetly. “For you must be able to love and forgive yourself before you can accept theirs.”
“Theirs?”
“Yes, child.” she met his gaze, her blue orbs burning into his. But somehow, despite the intensity of her stare, her eyes remained soft, loving, and sweet. It did something within him. His heart skipped a beat as his defenses came crashing down.
“Your family loves you, young guardian, more than you know.”
He wanted to scoff, but her eyes held him there, primed to listen to her wisdom.
“You have survived insurmountable odds. You have lived hardships that they may never understand. You have made difficult decisions for survival. You punish yourself for actions of the past. But know this, guardian, you are good.”
Knuckles swallowed hard, throat burning as her words washed over him. He didn’t feel good. He didn’t feel strong. But if this goddess of their people read his heart as true, who was he to object. He certainly was not as wise as she. But it still felt like a lie. And his fear, the one he kept buried deep within, began to bubble to the surface.
“What…” his voice came out hoarse, and he swallowed again to clear his throat. “What if they leave me? Just like all the others? What if they know me, and do not like what they see?”
Her mouth turned up gently in a soft and subtle smile. She took his large hand in hers and squeezed. “They will not.” she insisted. “You must have trust in them, otherwise you will never be able to open yourself up to their love.”
She let out a soft breath, then turned her head up towards the clear blue sky that covered this place in light. Her eyes glistened as she stared off into the vast sky. He could do nothing but follow her gaze, unsure what he was supposed to see.
“Do you know where they are right now?” she asked, her voice causing him to jump as it cut through the silence.
He shook his head, dreads swaying with the movement. “I do not even know where I am.” he answered honestly.
A light chuckle bubbled from her chest, but she never took her eyes off the never ending horizon. “They are by your side.” she spoke. “Though you may not see it. Though you may not feel it, they are there. Watching, protecting, worrying, loving.”
Her head tilted to the side as her eyes danced under the sparkling blue. “The human woman is particularly unwavering. She cares for you very deeply.”
Despite himself a smile crossed his face at the thought of his female caretaker. Maddie had seemed to take a special interest in him, though he did not understand why. But through her persistence and patience she was helping him learn how to settle and be. She was warm, and soft, and smelled like vanilla and clean laundry. She was kind and true. Everything he felt a mother should be.
Mother.
He surprised himself with the use of the word. Mother. Something he never thought he would have. And something he never felt he deserved. And yet, something that seemed to have found him, though he still struggled to accept it.
Movement next to him caused him to turn his gaze. He had almost forgotten he was not alone as he stared at the vast expanse of the hazy horizon. He gazed down upon her knowing stare, eyes twinkling.
Under them the ground shifted, the green grass blurring and fading. The flowers that had spread so jovially at his arrival began to sink and fade away. He looked back upon Tikal with concern.
“What is happening?” he asked.
A mournful smile appeared on her face as she glanced back toward him. “It seems our time is up.” she said softly.
“Our time?” he asked, his voice raising in alarm. “I don’t understand.”
“It is time for you to return to the waking world, child.” she said.
He looked behind him, the nothing from which he had arrived began to come to life, ebbing and flowing as it moved. He turned back to her, heart racing.
“Will…will I see you again, Lady Tikal?” he asked softly, a blush spreading over his cheeks.
She looked back at him and smiled, her wide grin lighting up her face as blue orbs danced in the fading light. “Always look to your heart.” she said, grabbing his hands one last time. “That is where I’ll be.”
He only had a moment to ponder her words before she pushed him backward with a strength that did not seem to fit her small form. He gasped as he fell backwards, swallowed up by the churning nothingness.
The stream of his consciousness tossed him, rippling and waving as he was pulled to and fro. Far from the gentle current of before, he floated with turbulence and force. His stomach churned as he was pushed through the dark nothing. His mind spun and twisted. A flash of blue eyes. He extended a desperate arm but the lady and the flowers swirled and pulled as if they were just beyond his reach.
Confusion took hold as his thoughts flowed away, forcing his mind into an unnerving emptiness. He reached every which way in a desperate attempt to grab hold of something, anything as he drifted away in the swirling churn of a hurricane.
Flashes of blue, of yellow would penetrate his mind and disappear just as quickly. Voices, far and muffled hit his ears but nothing could be understood. As he flailed and foundered a voice, no longer attached to person or being played through his mind and he kept it close, one thing he could feel was real.
“Your family loves you, more than you know.”
A whispered hum of a woman’s voice, a smell of the woods and vanilla and medicine. He reached again, the hum pulling at him, almost guiding him as he rippled through the chaos. His fingers drifted past something he could feel, a solid entity as he floated by. A presence so familiar and safe began to lean over him, cradling him against the forceful drift.
A soft sigh, and a whisper. “Mother.”
“Your family loves you, more than you know.”
He followed the voice, his fingers finally able to grasp and hold and he began to pull himself out of the turbulent stream. Mumbling and muttering became louder. Scents became stronger. A soft light appeared at the edge of his consciousness. He began to pull himself further, dragging himself towards the illumination.
“Shhhhhh.”
His eyelids. He could feel them like lead weights covering his vision. Palms clenched closed onto something hard, his fingers numb and tingling. A smell permeated through, causing him to wrinkle his nose.
“It’s OK.”
He tried to turn towards the voice but his head was so heavy.
“Is he waking up?” another voice asked, anxious and soft in its delivery. A presence of a being licked at his consciousness as he continued to weave his way through his murky thoughts.
“Yes, honey.” the soothing voice answered. “Waking up from anesthesia takes time.”
His mind spun. He felt dizzy. His stomach churned. He heard a soft noise of confusion. It occurred to him that the sound was his.
“Mom, can we do anything?”
Mom. Mother.
His head finally obeyed as he let it fall to his right. His senses picked up a hand gently weaving through his quills. Such a simple feeling that brought waves of comfort. He pulled at his eyelid, and through his hazy gaze he saw a blur of color, but one thing was able to penetrate through the uncertainty. The smell of vanilla.
“Ma…” he tried to speak. His tongue felt like thick molasses, his mouth dry as a desert as he tried to speak. “Ma…m”
The fingers stopped their flow through his quills, frozen at his words. It was as if his mind blanked, the only sound a beep that rang through his ears like a relentless bird.
“Did he call you what I think…” Another voice boomed through his aching head. Without moving his eyes, he tried to pick up his other hand, waving weakly at the other sound, willing it away.
The gentle caress of his quills began again and his eyes closed despite himself.
“I’m right here, baby.” the soft voice cooed. His eyelid fluttered again, sounds slowly becoming more clear as they slogged through his brain. Awareness began to creep its way back and with a great effort he was able to force his lids open, taking in the smiling face hovering over his own. He stared into soft brown orbs and watched her lips turn into a gentle smile.
“There you are.” she said, voice so light, like the caress of a soft breeze.
“Mam…a?” he asked, brain still slow and mirky. Something familiar nagged the back of his mind as he looked upon her face.
A whisper of support drifted to his ears. He reached out and grabbed at soft fabric and he tried to pull himself closer.
He still couldn’t figure out what was happening. Where he was. Why he was. But she was a guiding light through his fog.
A wave of pain pulsed through at his movement. Something pulled at his other arm, causing a light resistance and a pinch. He let go and began to bat and pull at it. Was he restrained?
“No, no, honey!” The voice demanded, small hands coming to land on his arms to deter his bid at freedom. “That has to stay in for a bit.”
In?
The chirping from the bird began to increase in speed along with the race of his heart. His breaths became heavy as he tried to process his situation. In? What was in him? Why could he not move? Why did he hurt?
Hands tightened on his arms as he tried to pull against them. Why was he so weak?
“Baby, calm down.” the voice ordered. “You’re safe. Do you know where you are?”
The question stilled him. Did he know?
The start of panic began to take hold as his brain tried to make sense of his situation. Where was he? Was he safe?
The familiar scent of vanilla permeated his nose and in his panic he reached out and grabbed onto the figure leaning over his form. She was soft, she was warm. She felt safe.
“Oh!” a surprised sound came from her throat which caused him to grab harder. He desperately gripped and clawed, trying to get closer to the being. The pain became sharper as he reached, but he ignored it in his desperate bid for comfort.
An arm came around his back and another around his head and he was gently pulled against her. He pushed his face into her, his hands gripping the soft fabric of her shirt. There was some jostling, then he was held tight. The pressure of her arms around his body calmed him in a way nothing else could.
“Safe.” he whispered through the continued slog of his thoughts. He heard a sniffle above him but did not pay it any mind. All that mattered was safe.
A soft snort made its way to his ears. “He’s awfully lovey.” the voice jested. “Can we keep him like this?”
A child like giggle near his other ear and small hands patted his back in between the crushing arms.
“Do you think he’ll tell us things?” the voice questioned further. “O.M.G…like truth serum or something?”
“Sonic…” the voice above chided. “Let him be. He is still waking up. He may be confused for the next few hours.”
“Oh man…this could be fun.”
He grimaced into her chest, turning his head slightly toward the voice near his side. His half lidded eye took in blue. A grinning hedgehog was standing there, eyes dancing with amusement. He reached out his arm heavily, grabbing toward the quills and face of the one before him.
A laugh reached his ears and the blue figure moved closer to him.
“Something you need, bro?”
Finally his hand reached with force and grabbed the tip of its nose. A muffled jolt of surprise left the blue nuisance at his side.
“You…you talk too much…”
A beat of silence. Then a burst of laughter from all around him. A gasp came from the animal before him as he pried the echidna’s hand off his nose.
“Whelp…guess he’s back.” he spoke, voice a mixture of amusement and annoyance.
He buried his nose back into the safety of his mama’s arms.
“Your family loves you, more than you know.”
The voice echo’d through his mind like a soft bell drawing him home. He gripped her tighter and sighed. And through his drunken and foggy mind one thing rang true. He was safe, he was family, he was loved.