Archive of Our Own ^beta

Day Nine
     "We'll make it alright to come undone"
     Touch | Flashbacks | scalding

The morning light streaming through his curtains did nothing to fix his mood. Birdsong bright and cherry, all signs of a good day.

However, Izuku woke with a horrible feeling. His arm and hands ached, burning and pulsing in his scars and joints. A heavy sense of dread settled in his chest, making his heart work harder, beat faster, his lungs fighting to keep his breath steady.

It was going to be a bad day. The only question was why? What was going to make it bad? What was going to happen?

He had learned this year, while at UA, to trust this feeling. It rushed over him on the drive to USJ, before the final round of the sports festival, at the mall, and before training camp.

Was it really worth trying to force himself out of bed? If he just stayed here could he avoid whatever was going to happen? The chances of that were slim. Whatever was going to happen would happen, it didn't matter what he did to stop it.

He really didn't want to leave this room. He was safe here, tucked under his blankets. That's how it worked right? The monsters can't get you when you're in bed. That childhood idea was stupid. He was stupid for even thinking about it. His monsters didn't care, if the nightmares were anything to go by.

He dug his palms into his eyes. Laying on his back he tried to even out his breaths, focus on something other than what could happen.

Izuku had his theories. Another villain attack, which if that was the case he should be with his class to help, to protect. Maybe it would be an earthquake, natural and unavoidable. Or maybe… maybe the class would find out about his notebooks, creepy stalker books, and they would all accuse him of being the traitor. They know there is one, they just don't know who yet.

Izuku sighed, hands dropping to his sides. He opened his eyes and stared at his ceiling. It shouldn't be this hard to get out of bed. Out of all the things he could struggle with getting out of bed is so fucking stupid! All he needed to do was slide out from under the covers and move.

With a great heaving breath, he pulled himself up and out of his bed. Checking his phone he could see he still had an hour before classes began. Maybe he should get himself breakfast before going, but the thought of food made his stomach roll. He already felt queasy, no need to make it worse then. He'd get dressed than just head to class early. Maybe the silence of the room would help.

His phone buzzed. Once, than a second time. Standing beside his bed he unplugged it before lifting it up and unlocked it.

The "hero" you all praise is nothing but a fraud.

The message was from an unknown number. Below it was a video. A third message appeared. A link to a video channel.

His heart stopped beating as he hit play. On the screen was him. Burned and cut up in an Aldera uniform. Bruised cheek and bloody bicep, slowly soaking his torn sleeve. Held up by his bullies, their grips strong.

Izuku barely remembered this day. They- ah there it was. He watched as a third person entered the frame. They grabbed a fist full of his hair and slammed his head into the brick wall behind him. The sharp crack filled his ears as they did it a second time.

The video ended with Izuku falling in a heap, eyes fluttering shut as the kids laughed. He now realized why he woke feeling awful.

He could assume what the video channel held now. His worst secret was there for the world to see. He was bullied for being quirkless. Everybody would know now. This would spread like wildfire.

Izuku's knees gave out, he fell to the floor. Phone clutched in his hands. With morbid curiosity he clicked the link.

The channel name was The Great Hero Deku, underneath he could see the subscriber count at a couple dozen. He refreshed. Close to a few hundred. He refreshed again. Close to six hundred. He was right, everyone was sharing this.

He was going to be sick. It was all over for him now.

Still he couldn't tear his gaze away. The video count was almost three hundred. Was that really how often they caught him? Hurt him?

His phone lit up with more notifications. Text messages, phone calls, he ignored them all. Silenced them so he wouldn't see anymore. he couldn't watch his friends turn on him now. Not yet. Their messages weren't going to be kind, not if they all saw how weak he is. How useless.

Tears trailed down his cheeks, it would all be taken away from him now. UA, his dream, All Might and the quirk. He had ruined everything.

He clicked on the first video, ignoring the pounding and yelling outside his door. He watched on.

Half of the videos he doesn't remember. Maybe that was his mind blocking out trauma. It could also be from the injuries he received. the amount of times his head was knocked into the ground or walls. All of the videos he watched himself pass out, broken and bleeding.

At least it explained some of his scars. The ones he had no memory of receiving.

They all had the same format. Izuku's grabbed, begged for them to stop. Please just leave me alone. Attack, after attack. Bruises and cuts littered his skin, his blood soaked his uniform and ground. The bullies would laugh the entire time, taunts and names thrown around. They'd leave, once he was a heap on the ground, barely conscious.

In this moment, watching these, he hated himself.

Wholly and completely. He wanted to tear the skin from his bones. Remove any evidence that he had allowed this to happen. That he's this weak and pathetic.

The memories he was missing flooded back to him with each video. Not only watching the screen but seeing the bullies attack him too. Feeling them ruining his skin. His scars burned and ached.

After what felt like hours he couldn't take it anymore. He dropped the phone. Curling into himself, he clawed at his arms. Nails tearing open tender skin and he struggled to breath. He couldn't do this. He couldn't face his classmates. Not when they surely hated him for lying to them.

He was stupid and weak. Useless. Awful.

Why did he ever think he could be a hero?

He really should have taken Katsuki's advice.

Izuku heard someone talking Their voice was one he knew, deep. He curled further into himself, nails digging in deeper. Tugging, tearing.

"Enough." That one word broke through before hands wrapped around his wrists. They pulled his fingers away from his arms. "Calm down listener." He lifted his head from his knees. Yamada and Aizawa sat in front of him. Each with one of his hands in theirs.

Izuku didn't want to be seen. Didn't want them here. Them being here means they know and they're going to get rid of him.

Aizawa let go of his hand. He started to pull it back towards himself but Yamada took hold. Gently brushing his thumbs over Izuku's knuckles in a slow pattern. Where touch usually burned, this was soothing.

"Match your breathing." The voice hero spoke. Izuku kept his eyes on him. The hero looked… worried? Why?

"You're hurting kid. Of course I'm worried." His breathing stalled, he'd mumbled, one of the things people hated most about him. His inability to sit still and quietly. Always a nuisances.

He tried to pull his hands away but Yamada held them tighter. That comforting brush shifted to something burning. All resistance left him. He wasn't supposed to oppose the teachers. Do as they say and he'll be okay.

"Just breath kid. Take a second to calm down." He closed his eyes, focusing on following the pattern being traced.

"Izuku." Aizawa called minutes latter, when his heart wasn't racing anymore and he could breath without his ribs threatening to cave in.

"Can I look at your arms? I need to patch them up." Izuku nodded and squeezed his eyes shut. Dreading the moment Aizawa touched his ruined skin.

There was shuffling and he could feel his teacher get closer. His shoulders raised to his ears, pulled his knees in tighter to his chest. His breaths came in shorter bursts.

He was so stupid! Why was he such a mess?

"Izuku I won't do this if you're afraid. I'm not going to hurt you. I'll wait until you're in a better place." his eyes snapped to Aizawa. He looked… he looked so sad. A frown marred his features, shoulders lowered, resigned, his eyes had gone soft. Why? He was so tired of not understanding them. Neither of them made sense.

I-I- " His voice shook.

"Do you have water in here kid?" He nodded, looking at his desk. Aizawa stood, grabbed it and handed it to him. Yamada finally let go of one of his hands. He took a long drink. The water soothed his scratchy throat. Placing the half empty bottle beside him. Yamada was quick to grab his hand again.

It made his heart drop. It wasn't to offer comfort or be a kind gesture. They didn't trust him. Didn't want him to make more of a mess to clean up.

"Want to try again listener?" Yamada pressed.

"You saw?" He had more in his head. More questions and thoughts. Please just let him stay. That was jus the first thought to leave his mouth.

"We did. Nedzu and the police are already working to arrest whoever shared that. And the people who hurt you. Nedzu is taking it all down and any videos that resurface. It won't be perfect but he's trying."

Resurface… so no one will let it die. Shame coursed through him. He would never be able to fix it.

He didn't think he could to begin with.

"I'm expelled?" He whispered. A look of horror passed over Aizawa's face, there and gone in a blink.

"No kid. Never. Not for this. Why would you think that?" Why wouldn't he? What else was there for him to think?

"You- you don't trust me. I lied. I'm useless and stupid. A quirkless freak." The words rushed out of him quickly. Memories of those words being thrown at him. The laughter at his misery. He could see their faces so clearly.

He tugged again, he didn't want to be touched. It burned. It was a trap to keep him close. Keep him within their reach.

"I'm sorry listener but I can't let go. Not with you hurting yourself."

"I won't. Please. I'm sorry." He cried, still trying to pull his hands back. His hands burned. The hero's thumbs felt like fire as they brushed against his knuckles. His grip just a touch away from being bruising. "I'm sorry."

He cried. He's been crying since those stupid videos were put up.

"I ruined everything." Mic yanked on his hands at his words. It pulled him off balance, knees hitting the carpet as he tumbled forward right into the voice hero. Strong arms wrapped around him, pressed his face into his shoulder.

He… was so warm. He forgot what a hug felt like. The warmth of it. Not burning hot just a soft glow. He could feel Yamada's heart, the steady beat was more calming than anything else.

Izuku couldn't help but to relax. Some tension eased from his shoulders. The hug moving back to comforting.

"You are none of those things kid. You are kind and brave. A leader in the making. You will be a compassionate hero. I can't wait to see what you'll do." He tried to shake his head, the hero just held him. Izuku buried his face. Arms wrapping around to grip the back of the hero's shirt.

"Quirkless or not, they were wrong to do that to you kid. You will get justice and we will help you every step of the way." Aizawa added.

"It's too late. Everyone knows." He mumbled.

"They know that you had every right to want to get back at the world, yet chose to do better. To be better. They know that after everything you went through you didn't let it change you. Didn't let them win. If anything it made you kinder. They know you'll do amazing things.

"Kid the only reason it took us so long to come check on you was because we had to barricade them inside the dorms first."

Izuku couldn't help but stare at Aizawa in shock.

"Nothing is ruined kid. You still have your spot. You'll still be a hero. UA and all of us teachers will support you, however you need. The class is currently brainstorming ways to cheer you up."

He shook his head. None of that was possible. It couldn't be! How could all of this come out and not a single thing change? That's not how it's supposed to go!

"But I-"

"No. I know it's hard but trust them and trust us." For a moment he just stared at Aizawa. How could it be so simply? Nothing was ever that easy for him!

"Now, can I patch up your arms so you can go join the class?" He nodded to Aizawa. Izuku pulled away from Yamada. Sitting cross legged on the floor between them. This time Yamada offered his hands, palms up. When Izuku shook his head the hero just shrugged and dropped it. Strange.

Aizawa was quick. It stung a little but nothing he wasn't used to. Disinfected and wrapped tightly he was finally free to go.

Except… he was scared. Aizawa could saw anything but that doesn't mean the class truly thinks that. What if they did hate him? Or that he was weak and useless?

A gentle knock against his head dragged his attention to Yamada.

"A little faith listener. We'll go down with you but I promise it'll be fine." Izuku nodded. They all stood, the heroes both had joints crack. Izuku covered his mouth before he could laugh as they groaned.

He snatched a hoodie from his bed before following the heroes out.

He was surprised to find how much he trusted the heroes. Maybe that was just the effect of nearly dying with them from villains several times. Furthermore shocked by how much he calmed down just by listening to them talk. It was weird, how kind they were being. Although that could just be part of the problem. They were normal, only weird to him because of all the awful people he grew up around. It made their kindness strange and foreign. It would take a long time before he was used to them and his classmates.

"Midoriya!" Multiple voices shouted as they entered the common space. He jumped, wide eyes scanning the space, the old need to check for exits swept over him. Shoto appeared before him on silent feet, he jumped at his friends sudden appearance.

"Come, Ochako says we need to watch a movie. Something Disney?" Shoto shrugged, hands shoved deep in his pockets. "I don't know what that is."

"We're fixing that!" She shrieked from the couches. Izuku couldn't help but laugh.

He nodded. Swept away into the chaos of class. Somehow, impossibly, the videos were forgotten. He laughed, made jokes, and watched movie after movie with his classmates. Eventually falling asleep resting his head on Shoto's shoudlers, surrounded by friends.