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Too EPIC, no thank you

Summary:

Percy Jackson travels back in time. He meets another Percy Jackson in the middle of the Battle of the Labyrinth.

They listen to EPIC and the gods join.

Notes:

What did I write? I have no clue. But here we are!

Chapter 1: Introduction

Chapter Text

Percy's always known weird. Just take his school field trips as an example. Or, you know. His entire life since he was attacked by a demon math teacher and his friend tried to convince him he was losing his mind instead of realizing he was attacked by a Fury. In short, Percy knows weird. But this, this may be a bit outside of his wheelhouse.

"Time travel?"

It's Demeter who asks the question, but all of the gods seem equally confused about the fact that this is a conversation that they are, apparently, having. Not that Percy's ungrateful, given the situation. The two newcomers absolutely saved lives before Hera herself had shown up in the middle of the battle and thrown some kind of fit, demanding that the girl go home because she wasn't supposed to be at camp yet.
The fact that the girl - "Piper", apparently, hadn't flinched and instead gave the goddess the stink eye? Yeah. That went down about as well as you could expect. But that was before the second figure had stepped in, physically stepping between angry goddess and stranger. The figure had, for the first time, stood still long enough for anyone to really get a glimpse at them.
Before that, the figure hadn't really been seen as much as heard and felt. Castor definitely didn't get a look at them as they saved his life from an enemy demigod and moved on. Neither did Lee, though Percy's willing to forgive Lee given that he was almost crushed to death by two Canadians.

Percy almost thought it was his Dad for a moment. But the lack of way-too-loud Hawaiian shirt kind of threw him until he saw the sword in the guy's hand. The very familiar sword. Riptide.

"Time travel" The Older Percy sighs, running a hand down his face as if saying "Look, I don't want to be here either" and Percy feels that resonate in his very soul. That’d been his entire thought process since he was accused of divine theft. The girl - Piper - just laughs like this older Percy's exasperation is amusing to her.
"This was your idea, Aquaman" she states.
"First" The older Percy says, holding up one finger as his left hand pinches his nose "I didn't think we'd end up in like, completely separate bodies" he says, gesturing toward Percy, who's still staring at him because...OK. What? “I thought we’d like….merge with our younger selves or something”
“It would have been easier. There being two of each of us is gonna be….fun”
“That isn’t exactly the word I’d use” The older Percy looks over at Percy like he’s expected to know what’s going on.
"Second" the older, ruder Percy continues before anyone can even start unpacking what just came out of their mouths "I didn't think we'd land ourselves in the middle of the Labyrinth battle. I was hoping for the night before Mrs. Dodds"
"Yeah, I didn't expect to land in a battlefield either. You can be glad I was here"
Here, the older Percy kind of smirks and holds up a hand "Charmspeaking the Tartarus jailer. I don't know if that was reckless or genius but man am I glad that you're on our side"

"Excuse me" Hermes interjects, looking between the two figures, as close to dumbfounded as a god can probably get but also slightly amused. "I think we'd appreciate an explanation"

Piper looks over her shoulder toward Percy, then the older Percy, who's rolling his eyes like someone on "The Office" dealing with an annoying coworker and not a literal deity. She huffs "Perce, head toward the medics tent, I'm sure you'd be able to help out at least a little"
"And also, I won't be here to curse anyone out for their stupidity"
"That too"
"If she starts something because her little plan's been ruined?" The older Percy asks, already turned toward the medic tent and pointing a finger over his shoulder at Hera.
Piper gives a too-sharp smile "I got it" she says as Hera starts to take a deep breath, Percy already wincing.

As the older Percy vanishes into the faded yellow flaps of the Apollo cabin's medical tent, Piper turns toward the gathered gods with a stern expression, completely ignoring the queen of the gods, who is obviously gearing up toward a lecture. Or maybe a smiting. Percy isn’t sure "Y'all fucked up and now we're here to make things better"

-

It's been a few weeks since the two weird strangers showed up at camp like they've lived there their entire lives. Percy kind of feels weird calling them strangers. Or at least, he feels weird about calling the older Percy a stranger. But that's what he is.
The older Percy - People have taken to calling him Perseus and watching him either frown or glare at them because it’s funny - is a stranger to him. They're the same person. Percy's sure that his dad wouldn't have allowed Perseus to stay in camp claiming Percy's name otherwise, but Percy doesn't recognise himself in this older figure.

Then again, would the younger him, from before Mrs. Dodds recognise him?

Percy doesn't like to think about it. But he has started trailing his future self in plain curiosity. Watching Perseus watch them. It doesn't take long to figure out why Perseus is the way that he is.
He's a monster in the sparring ring. Not just to Percy but to everyone. Training them harder than they've ever been trained. And when they complain, Perseus sometimes snaps without really meaning to, revealing more than he’s probably meant to. Once, he snapped at one of the Hermes kids "We're trying to keep you alive" and then continued after taking a deep breath "We're doing our best". Nobody had complained about the sword-fighting bruises after that, seeing the darkness lingering in too-familiar eyes. And Percy had seen both Castor and Pollux throw themselves into training with vigor after some kind of discussion with Perseus where Castor had ended up in tears.

Percy himself has been training some...weird skills with Perseus. Some healing, which Percy still finds weird. He hadn't thought that his powers could be used to heal, but Perseus shows him how to alleviate bruising with cold water and icy slush. He teaches Percy how to harden water to make a temporary bandage over a wound, keeping the blood where it’s meant to be. He also teaches Percy how to keep others dry like he does himself.
How to remove water from someone so they don't get frostbite or hypothermia. How to remove water from the lungs of a drowning victim, though that’d been completely spur of the moment after one of the younger kids had fallen off the pier.
Percy spends a long time in the infirmary under Will's watchful eye, in essence.

Piper, meanwhile, seems to be on some kind of war path. She contacts some girl in the middle of possibly the strangest city Percy has ever seen called "Reyna", which the gods almost had a heart attack over. She teaches Drew to hone her charmspeak into a weapon of epic proportion and then almost kills her in the sparring ring when she finds out that Drew used it on the Stolls after a prank. She trains with the Aphrodite cabin and forces them into armour and sessions and sparring. She keeps avoiding looking at Selina.

Perseus scraps the Andromeda mission in its entirety one day after Silena comes out of the woods crying. She looks better a day later but won’t leave Beckendorf’s side. He says that he and Piper will take care of the boat and its inhabitants and within the week.
Both return, bloody and panting, two days later, Blackjack cursing up a storm about two Percy’s being one too many to carry on impossible quests. But they’re smiling like they're triumphant. Percy decides not to ask what exactly what they did. Beckendorf has no such limits but he does falter when Percy smirks and answers with a phrase that nobody else but them comprehend "Titan-Submarine-style".
Piper had cackled like a TV show witch, possibly slightly manic and even Beckendorf had stopped asking questions.

It's the every-day things that Percy notices the most though.

"Hey, my phone isn't working" Piper says one day near the start of their camp-reform, holding up a Cell Phone in the air like she's looking for signal. Percy and every other demigod in the vicinity stops in their tracks. Possibly because of shock. Possibly because of fear. Maybe because of awe. Meanwhile, Perseus frowns. Then he pulls out his own phone and Percy takes a physical step back.
"Huh. Yeah. No signal" Perseus frowns, shaking the phone like that'd make it work.

"No phones in camp" Mr. D says from behind Percy.
Both Perseus and Piper wave him off "You think it's cause the phones are from the future so the sims don't exist yet?" Piper asks.
Perseus shrugs "Don't know. Don't really care. But I'm gonna be pissed if I lost my pictures and videos. I’m missing…” he stops
Piper waves him off “Yeah yeah. Baby pictures and all that. But my movies, Perce!”

Perseus starts going through the phone quickly. Piper following him a moment later.
"All here. Hey look! I still have my movies! Awesome! I was gonna miss Netflix"
"You've been watching that Kpop movie for like- weeks now, Pipes"
"It's a good movie!"
"You keep saying that!"
"So watch it with me!"
Perseus raises an eyebrow, gesturing around them with thrown open arms "On what TV?"
Piper squints and holds up her phone instead. Perseus' nose scrunches.
"You're watching it with me. I will hear no more excuses"

Percy decides that the future is weird. Some of the songs Piper is heard playing after that is...something. Some of the kids ask her to play specific songs sometimes, when they train with her. Idol seems to be a crowd favorite among the camp but the Aphrodite cabin seems to have a particular fondness for Takedown. Perseus just asks her to please stop playing the playlist on repeat.
Piper does not stop playing the playlist on repeat.
That's when Perseus start playing random songs and Piper does eventually join.
Piper's taste seems to skew more pop. Some songs Percy's heard over the radio. Some he recognises the voices of. Some he has no idea on.
Perseus' taste, however, is literally everywhere. Rock and soft metal and pop and techno. Percy’s sure he’s heard him play swing once while he was showering. But Percy finds himself enjoying most of them.

It's a song that triggers it, eventually. Something just comes up in the middle of Perseus' playlist while he and Percy spar. And Percy stops because this is new and also because Perseus is looking over at his phone suddenly.

"I'll become the monster"

Perseus curses "I forgot this came out! Pipes!" he calls out.
"What?!"
"We gotta play these kids Epic"
Piper blinks where she stands at the entrance of the arena "Oh yeah. Epic. Oh wow. Mr D may hate it"
Perseus snorts
"Yeah alright, he hates us already. What's the difference, I know. Most people don't chance incineration, you know?"
"He wanted to turn me into a dolphin, actually" Perseus and Percy answer as one.

Chapter 2: War is not a joy

Summary:

I have no self-control

Chapter Text

It's later that night during the bonfire that Piper convinces Perseus to give her the speaker with a mischievous smile. Percy is immediately suspicious as Perseus gives Mr. D a smirk that spells trouble. Purposeful trouble. The same smirk he sees in the mirror when he, Connor and Travis team up

"Alright my brothers, listen closely"

Austin falters where he'd been going for his guitar, as is usual. The Apollo cabin always leads the sing-alongs. Even if they do sometimes do karaoke to some of the songs from the future. Everyone stills. Because something spells chaos here. It’s like they can smell it. Like sharks smelling blood in the water.
"You'll like it" Perseus says, smirking at Austin in a way that makes the boy’s eyes narrow "It's a musical retelling of a myth. No reading"
"Which myth?" Mr. D asks, squinting like he doesn't trust any of them. Percy wouldn't either.
Perseus just smirks.

"Tonight we make the Trojans pay"

Mr. D pulls a face "I wasn't particularly involved in the Trojan war"
"We know" Piper and Perseus chorus. Perseus turns to the Athena cabin "Your mother might not like it though"
"Her? You think she's gonna be the problem?" Piper demands
Perseus shrugs "Fairly certain Dad won't like the entirety of Three hundred strike but everything before it? Fair game"
"Mom will love God games"
"Hermes won't be particularly bothered either"
Piper and Perseus share a look "If Thunder Bringer has a problem, he can take it up with the myth itself" Perseus eventually says. Mr D makes a particularly loud face at that.

Piper presses play before anyone further can interject.

Percy can see other figures in the shadows, appearing as the man sings about Troy and war. And how they'll succeed tonight to finally go home to see their families.

"-avenge your father, kill the brothers of Hector"

Percy sees Annabeth pull a face at the assignation of roles. Percy only knows some of the names. He's heard of Diomedes. He's heard Annabeth complain about Agamemnon more than enough. But some of the other names don't ring a bell to him. Especially not names like Nester and Chauser. But Percy also sees the darkened shadows falter and solidify, Hermes leaning against a pillar watching them with raised brows and Apollo sitting on the steps with a carefree smirk.

"Which hero is this?" a female voice demands out loud. Not a camper. And Percy spins to see Athena had apparently taken notice of the song, frowning down at the phone like it offended her. Or worse, confused her.
Perseus doesn't answer and the song continues to play.

"Penelope! – and Telemachus-“

Athena looks almost taken aback by that, like the names should mean something to Percy. Travis, who Percy had decided to sit next to, explains "Penelope and Telemachus are the wife and kid of Odysseus". Percy's nose scrunches at that too because…Ugh. Sea of monsters memories. Circe. Guiney pig memories.
Percy and Annabeth meet eyes across the fire and Annabeth snickers into her hand as Percy sticks a tongue out. Just wait till they get to the sirens.

"A retelling of the Odyssey?" Athena asks.
Piper tilts her head like that isn't quite right either "Kind of dramatized. And probably not what actually happened. but I mean, it's something that we can listen to that isn't full of "By Jove" and outdated English"
“There’s nothing wrong with ‘by Jove’” Zeus states, but is effectively ignored because Percy had in fact once tried to listen to an audiobook of the Illiad on Youtube. He hadn’t lasted long.

"A vision! Of what is to come-"
"- To kill someone's son –“

“Isn’t every person someone’s son?” Michael frowns, looking over at his father like he expects him to have an answer.
Worse, Apollo looks like he might actually answer and Percy has a feeling it would be absolutely horrifying and possibly not for child ears.
Perseus seems to think the same.

"I don't think you're ready"

The entire camp tenses as a baby's lullaby tinkling song comes on. Percy tenses more than he thinks he should admit. "Someone's son" he remembers and frowns. Michael was right. Everyone was someone’s son. The only reason a god would amplify that is because the father was important. Or…

"It's just an infant"

Percy looks away.

"Please don't make me do this!"
"This is the will of the gods!"

Percy sees more than one person look over at their parent, all of the Olympians now just barely fitting into the clearing where they hold their campfires with them. Like they too either know what's coming and aren't looking forward to it or don't know what's coming. Percy himself looks over at Annabeth, sees her grimace. Looks over at his own father, who looks back, eyes a bit darker than what they usually would be when looking at him. But then, Poseidon’s dislike of Odysseus was well-known.

Perseus meets his eyes head-on and smiles, shakes his head like he's trying to tell Percy not to think too deeply on it.

The next song starts

Chapter 3: Don't you know?

Summary:

Don't we know he's just a man?

Chapter Text

The next song starts, uplifting and bright. But Percy has a bad feeling. Maybe it's the fact that he'd never read the original myths. Only heard what he's heard from others and what he'd experienced himself. But Percy knows for a fact that Malcolm knows what happens. And even he looks apprehensive.

"You're as old as he was - "

Malcolm and Annabeth, along with a few other campers wince in tandem. Like that hurts in several ways that Percy doesn't know enough about to understand. Not yet, at least.

"Close your eyes and spare yourself the view"
"How could I hurt you?"

"I'm just a man"

Athena straightens at that, straightening like she's trying to hide a shock response. Like she'd been poked with a taser. A response Percy knows because he does the same whenever Gabe is mentioned. Whenever someone mentions Luke, the Luke that Percy knew before he’d tried to kill him.

"Deep down I would trade the world to see my son and wife
I'm just a man"

The camp falls silent. The beat drops and Percy shivers, a chill slipping down his spine.

"When does a ripple become a tidalwave?
When does the reason become the blame?
When does a man become a monster?

Percy discretely looks over at Perseus. Sees him staring into the fire. Like he's not paying attention. But Percy can see the storm building in his eyes. Can feel the tension around Perseus like he's either thinking too much or trying not to. Like he knows the answer to that question and doesn't like the answer.
Percy looks away. He already feels like enough of a monster at times. Remembering Bianca's death. Zoe's. Knowing that Lee and Castor and others would have lost their lives in the battle if Perseus and Piper hadn't intervened. He doesn’t need to look at his older face and know it gets worse.
The father of monsters, Percy thinks, looking over at his own father out of the corner of his eye.
But Poseidon's looking forward, hard look still in his eye. And Percy thinks he gets why. Remembers that Odysseus and Poseidon hadn't exactly gotten along to say the very least.
Perseus is the one to catch Percy's eye. To smile at him with cracked corners.

"Forgive me!"

Percy shuts his eyes as he realizes what's coming. Meets Perseus' eyes across from him and then Annabeth's. Both give him a strained smile as the background singers continue.

"I'm just a man"

Percy expects the sound of a thud. Of some kind of impact that never comes. He's grateful for it as much as he is anticipating it.
Odysseus killed a baby. That's all Percy can think. An infant. Spare yourself the view. Forgive me. He isn't quite sure how he killed him, isn't quite sure he cares. but Odysseus killed a baby. Which Percy doesn't think he'd ever heard of from anyone. Not even from Annabeth. Though he doubts that many people would tell people about that part.
How would it even Come up? Like, in casual conversation? It isn't like discussing monsters and whether or not they eat demigods. This is a person killing another person. Because of what they might become.
Percy isn't even sure if Zeus was telling the truth, though by saying it was the will of the gods, it may have been. But then, he thinks back. The Oracle. Some fates are set in stone. Bianca's death in the desert. Zoe's death at the hand of a parent.
The snip of scissors on a blue thread, heard across four lanes of traffic when Percy was 12.
Some fates are set in stone.

Chapter 4: Full speed ahead

Chapter Text

A drum-beat percussion starts to echo around the clearing as the next song starts. At least now they won't have to worry about any more killed babies. Because who kills a baby? Odysseus, apparently.
The song starts with the sound of waves and wind. A sound that soothes something inside of Percy, purely instinctually. Percy even sees Perseus smile. Like he himself feels the calm washing over them. Perseus is so calm that he doesn't even seem to notice Poseidon giving both his children a smug smile. Like he'd noticed their reactions to the mere sounds of waves.

"-six-hundred men under my command-
-it's what lies in-between-
Full speed ahead!"

Percy and Perseus both wince in tandem, looking over at one another and then at Annabeth. All of them then looking over at Clarisse, who meets Percy's eyes with a raised brow. All remembering that disastrous trip to the sea of monsters.

"Eurylochus
-we've run out of supplies-"

Oh, that's gonna go well, Percy thinks to himself. Nobody's ever gotten into trouble just because they were hungry. Of course not. Not at all.
Not like Medusa almost killed them cause Percy hadn't eaten in days and just wanted a cheeseburger. Not like Percy and Annabeth's little trip down the tunnel of Love was broadcasted cause Ares paid for their burgers.
Noooooo..... Of course not!

"-take what we can
-ask for food, my second in command"

It isn't Percy that sees the danger in Apollo's eyes first. He notices the glowing of the sun-god's body after Will had already backed up, pulling Lee up with him as Apollo's normally-tanned skin turns a blinging almost-white-gold.
"Dude" Perseus says, like he's speaking to a college friend and not a god who could smite him at any moment "Chill"

Is this how people feel when Percy challenges the gods? Because if it is, he would like to apologize. Maybe to Annabeth. Definitely to Grover. Maybe not to Thalia. But the instinct in Percy is to stand and draw the angry god's attention before Perseus can be smote. Perseus himself gives Percy a look as if to say "Nu-uh. I don't think so"

The sheer audacity, however, does seem to shock Apollo out of his whole "God of Vengeance" Schtick.

"You know what?" Percy asks, looking between Apollo, his kids and Perseus "I don't wanna know"
Perseus smiles "You'll find out later"

"Polites
-I see an island
-Maybe they'll share some food-"

"For 600 people?" Malcolm asks, squinting at nothing.
Kayla squints with him "Does he think that all cities just have like infinite food hacks?"
"It isn't even a city, remember? It's an island" Will points out
"And most islands are made up of infertile land that can't be farmed" Annabeth agrees, before tilting her head "Given, most islands are like...a few hundred feet wide and are made of beach sand. But still, the resources on an island would be totally different from mainland. Especially in a place like Greece"
"Wasn't Crete an island though?" Nico asks, starting a few people as if they hadn't realised he was there
"Yes but it was a fairly large island. This island...I'm betting that they didn't have any kind of farming supplies"

"-I see fire but there's no smoke"

Beckendorf pauses, then looks over at his father "Is that a real thing? Smokeless fire? Cause that would be pretty cool if we could use it for the forges"
Piper and Perseus exchange a look for a moment, as if they'd both remembered something at the exact same time.
Perseus looks back at Beckendorf before Hephaestus can answer "We'll bring you a sibling that can help out with something like that" he says.
Hephaestus grunts "Leo"
"Yup. Little gremlin that he is. But it's gonna be something to see him working with everyone early this time around"

Perseus' smirk does not instil confidence.

"Oh, and we gotta go pick up my younger self" Piper says
Perseus waves at her "Yeah. It's weird but you'll get used to it. Get ready to give up your name though"
"Your name is Perseus, technically"
Piper gets hit in the face with a wave of saltwater right after her words finish. She seems prepared, however, and it doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest. She just continues speaking a second later.

"Besides, what are they gonna call me? Piper 2.0? I was here first. She can fight me for it"
"She can't fight yet"
"Exactly!"

"-Let's raid the place and-!"
"No. Polites gear up
-no-one ends up dead"

"Oh yeah. Cause the islands around Greece are So safe" Grover grumbles, shaking his fur out in a wave as Juniper snickers at his side.
"Like Annabeth said, most of them aren't bad" Malcolm repeats
"Most of them are uninhabited" Athena corrects
"This one for sure isn't" Annabeth mumbles, wincing. She definitely knows who this is. And Percy gets the feeling he's supposed to know too.

“And besides, I wouldn’t say anything in the sea of monsters is safe”

"Give me till sunrise-
-six hundred men can make this whole place burn!"

"Are the old stories really like this?" Drew asks with a look of distaste "Like. I'm just gonna invade an island and ask them to feed my 600-men-strong army. And if they don't do that, we'll just burn it all to the ground"
Annabeth and Malcolm exchange a look with Lee and Sherman. None of them seem actually willing to answer.
"The old heroes were conquerors, dearie" Aphrodite interjects "A lot of them went into unknown places and built kingdoms there. Theseus. Cadmus. Pretty much all the kings who created cities were like this, yes"
Dionysus snorts "All the same" but he's looking at Percy. Not quite as hostile as he was before the Artemis quest. Like Percy had in fact done something to impress him. To prove that Percy wasn't like his ancient brother.