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Russia Burger 2 - The Quest for Lunchly

Summary:

Denji wants to try a Lunchly! But... they're banned in Japan?! What will he do?! Will his love for Thick of It by KSI get him through this dark period in his life?!

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Denji woke up once again to his alarm which was Thick of It by KSI. But he did not start dancing. His wife Reze woke up next to him and was confused and worried that he was not throwing his flatty back. “Denji? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” She asked, caressing his face. Denji sniffed and furrowed his eyebrows, “Didn’t you hear, Reze? They BANNED lunchlies in Japan. Now I’ll never get to try one.” He said. Reze was shocked, and hugged him. “Oh I’m sorry Denji, I know what it’s like to have things banned in your country, I’m sure you’ll be able to try one someday.” As Reze mentioned her own experience, an idea popped into Denji’s mind, “Wait… Reze, are lunchlies banned in Russia?” Reze stopped hugging him and looked confused. “Well, um, I don’t know.” Suddenly the alarm stopped playing and Denji and Reze looked over to see that Nayuta had turned it off and was now using the phone. After a second she turned it around to show the other two the screen. “I googled it, they’re not banned in Russia.” Rezze was surprised and Denji jumped up with excitement. “Oh my God! Let’s go to Russia and try lunchlies! What do you think Reze? This could be our honeymoon!” Reze smiled, it was a horrible idea for their honeymoon but Reze loves anything Dennis comes up with. “Okay! Let’s go try them!” Nayuta put the phone down. “Do I get to be home alone??” She asked happily. Denji smiled at her, “Sure Nayuta. But I’ll get kishibe to come check on you.” Nayuta looked slightly disappointed but said “Okay.” Then Denji picked up the phone and started playing Thick of It by KSI, and him and Reze started dancing.

A week later, Denji woke up to Thick of It by KSI and started dancing, though groggily. It was 4 in the morning so that he and Reze could catch their flight to Russia. Reze soon got up and also started dancing, they then slow danced to Thick of It by KSI. After a while it turned off and they started getting changed. They woke Nayuta up so they could say by to her and they left the house at 5am. They got to the airport at 5:30 and started going through customs. Everything was going smoothly until the security guard asked something of them. “You’re going to Russia? We must do a check then. Do you have any burgers with you?” Denji and Reze denied having burgers and the man nodded, then he said, “Alright, take your wigs off.” Reze took her wig off but then looked nervously at Dennis. “Omg, I forgot! You still have your real hair!” Denji started sweating, “What do I do?!” The security guard sighed, “I’m sorry but this is protocol.” He said before pulling out a razor and shaving all of Denji’s beautiful blonde hair clean off. Reze watched in horror, “Denji your hair! I’m so sorry!” Denji dropped the hair that fell into his hands and smiled at Reze. “It’s okay! Now we’re matching!” Reze’s eyes filled with tears, “Denji…” Then they got ushered through customs and were soon on the plane.

Denji and Reze chilled on the plane. They watched movies, ate peanuts, took naps, everything you do on a plane. Reze said, “There weren’t many people coming on this plane, I wonder why.” Denji muched on his peanuts, “I guess people don’t goto Russia at this time of year.” Reze thought that was kinda weird but she didn’t care enough to think about it. Then the flight attendant said they were landing soon. Reze was surprised, “This flight didn’t feel that long!” Denji smiled, Probably cuz we’re together!” Reze blushed and agreed. Soon the plane landed and they got off, stepping into thick snow. The wind chilled their bald heads. They looked around and Denji said “Wow! Does it snow all year in Russia?” Reze analysed her surroundings and gasped, “Wait, Denji! This is Siberia!”

Denji looked confused. “Siberia?? Aren’t we in Russia??” Reze said, “We are! But I’m not from this part of Russia, I’m from the European part of Russia.” Denji looked shocked, “Wait, you’re not Asian?!” Rezze crossed her arms to protect herself from the cold, “This probably won’t be too bad, but most of Siberia is uninhabited.” Denji pointed toward the forest in front of them, “Why don’t we just start waking and see where we end up?” Reze thought for a moment. “I guess why not? What’s the worst thing that can happen, we die?” She laughed a bit. Denji laughed too, and they started walking.

They walked through the forest for a while and Reze started slowing down, “I don’t know if this is such a good idea, Denji…” Denji stopped, “No don’t give up Reze! I know what’ll boost your morale!” He pulled out his phone and tapped the screen, and Thick of It by KSI started playing. Instead of dancing Denji said, “this song is exactly like our situation right now! See…” he started singing along, “I’m in the tick of it everybody knows~ They know me where it snows I skied in and they froze~ I don’t know nothing bout no Ice I’m just cold~” Denji’s singing started inspiring Reze and she smiled, “You’re right denji! Let’s-” “Hello?” Denji and Reze turned around, startlet, to see a woman with Green eyes and a few moles on her face, wearing a coat with fur trim. “Is that Thick of It by KSI? I love that song.” Denji smiled excitedly, “Me too! What’s your name?” The woman smiled back, “I’m Santa, I live around here what about you?” Denji and Reze introduced themselves. Then Reze started speaking, “My Siberian sister! Do you know where we can find lunchlies? We’re visiting to try them.” Santa’s eyes widened, “Oh! I work at the lunchly factory! Come with me!” Denji and Reze couldn’t believe it, they followed Santa as she walked away.

After a while of walking through the snow they arrived at a big factory with the lunchly label on it. Denji started shaking in anticipation, “I don’t believe we’re really here!!” Reze smiled at him, “We got really lucky meeting Santa!” Santa then led them inside the factory and started showing them around. “Here’s where we bakke the crackers… here’s the turkeys we turn into the meat… here’s where we make the cheese…” Denji looked confused, “Isn’t the cheese real though?” Reze started laughing, “Denji, you have to make cheese from milk!” she turned to Santa, “Do you have cows too? Where do you get the milk from?” Santa looked puzzled for a moment, “Huh? Oh right, milk. To make the cheese, right. Um, no, we get it imported.” She then led them to where the lunchlies get packaged, and she picked up one and gave it to Denji, “Here is a fresh luncjly just for you!” Denji held it in his hands like it was a fragile baby and started crying, “M-My very own lunchly!” He hugged it, “I’ll cherish this lunchly forever!” Santa said, “Well you’re supposed to eat it” and he said “Well duh!” And he ripped open the packet, putting together a sandwich and about to drop into his mouth when suddenly, “What is going on here?!”

Everyone froze as a woman with blue eyes wearing a dark coat walked in. “Who are these people and what are they doing in are factory?” Santa walked up to her, “Judah, these are visitors who came from Japan just to try a lunchly, I had to help them out.” Denji and Reze awkwardly introduced themselves to Judah but she did not look anymore impressed. “This is definitely against the rules.” Santa pleaded, “You know how lonely it is out here, isn’t it fun to have some new faces around?” Jadah squinted, “You’ve also made a big mistake, Santa.” Santa looked confused as Judah started walking away, “And what is that?” Judah pulled out something from a conveyer belt and turned around. “You didn’t even give him a prime and a mr beast chocolate!” Denji gasped so hard he almost dropped his lunchly, and then judah came over and handed him the missing items. Finally he could have the proper experience. Everyone watched with bated breath as Denji tasted the lunchly, chewing it and thinking about it. “Dude…” Everyone started at him. “Well, how is it?!” Reze asked. Denji closed his eyes, “That is the most… DELICIOUS thing I’ve ever eaten!!!” he jumped with joy and everyone cheered. He then tried the prime and mr beast chocolate, and they also got rave reviews! Santa and Jordan were very pleased that he liked it, as that boded well for their jobs. “What was your favourite part?” Judah asked. Denji thought, “Probably the drippy cheese? Oh, that must be from all the milk!” Santa nodded while Judah looked a bit confused. Reze went to go try some herself, and she apparently liked it… Santa said “I know what this calls for!” And pulled out her phone and started playing Thick of It by KSI and they all had a dance party. Judah put a flashlight going through a prime bottle to makea disco light. Denji threw his flatty back, Reze threw her fatty back, and Santa and Judah broke it down on the dancefloor.

When they were done dancing, Denji sighed. “I wish I could take these back with me. I wanna eat more, and I want Nayuta to try them, and…” Reze said “Oh Denji…” and held him tenderly. Judah thought for a moment, “You know… I might be able to do something” Denji’s eyes widened, “R-Really?!” Judah nodded, “I actually have a contact in Japan, It’ll be risky but I can at least try to get you some lunchlies. What’s your address?” Denji gave her his address and they said their goodbyes, Denji and Reze returning to the snowy forest. “Now that we’re refueled, we can get back to the airport no problem!” Denji said. They started walking, and after 6 hours of getting lost they finally made it. Reze looked tired, “I’m gonna need a long rest after this.” They got on the next plane and made it home. Getting to their house, they greeted Nayuta and everyone went to sleep.

The next morning, Denji woke up to Thick of It by KSI. This time not from his phone, but from the doorbell. He danced out of bed and to the front door and opened it. Standing there was a man wearing sunglasses and a large mustache. “Your delivery.” Denji looked at him confused and half asleep. “Delivery? I didn’t order anything.” The guy seemed a bit annoyed, “Delivery from Siberia?” A tick mark appeared on Denji’s forehead, “OMG THE LUNCHLIES!!” The guy frantically shushed him, “Idiot! This has to be on the down low!” and threw a box at his head knocking him over. As Denji looked down at the package, The guy said his farewells and started walking away. “Wait! Don’t go!” Denji yelled. The guy looked back, confused. “You should come in! You can eat them and dance with us!” The guy just stood there, “Um.. why would I want to do that?” Denji go t up, “It’s so fun dude, seriously!” The guy thought for a moment, then reluctantly agreed and came inside.

After the door was closed, he took off his disguise and revealed he was a young man with black chin-length hair and moles on his face. Denji started opening the package and asked “What’s your name?” The guy responded, “It’s Togata.” Denji smiled and led Togata into the living room. Togata sat down and Nayuta came in yawning, “What’s WHO is that?!” she was snapped out of her drowsiness by the stranger in her living room. Denji proudly pulled a lunchly out to show her, “He’s Togata, he brought us lunchlies! Cmon, eat up!” Nayuta was confused, “aren’t they banned?” Togata held a finger over his mouth, “That’s why you gotta keep this a secret.” Nayuta didn’t care enough to question the illegality of this situation, and started eating the lunchly. Denji said “Now we’re just waiting on my wife, she was really tired from walking through the snow yesterday though.” They sat in silence for 2 seconds and then Denji got up, “Ok she’s probably slept for long enough!”

He went to the bedroom and after some groaning, he came back out with a sleepy Reze. She greeted Togata and Denji smiled, “Now we have everyone!” He grabbed the TV remote and continued, “I know everyone’s tired today, but that’s because you haven’t had your morning Thick of It!” he then turned on a recording of a live performance of Thick of It by KSI and started dancing. Reze cheered up and started dancing too. “Um… wtf is this?” Togata asked. Nayuta threw her lunchly away and said, “They just can’t help dancing when this song comes on.” Togata did not seem impressed, “ I should get going.” Denji grabbed his sleeve while still moving his hips, “No!! You have to at least try it! You too Nayuta!” Nayuta looked shocked, “Me? N-No!” Reze smiled, “It’s ok to be shy! But once you start, you’ll realise there’s no reason to hold back!”

Togata and Nayuta watched the two dance, and looked at each other. Nayuta started moving her shoulders, and Togata started moving his feet, and suddenly there was no turning back! They started dancing with Denji and Reze, and it was so much fun! All four of them spent the whole day dancing together. Once it got late, Togata decided to leave, but claimed he would come back soon to do this again. They went to clean up the living room, and Nayuta asked, “What’s for dinner?” and Denji replied, “Lunchlies, obviously!” The happiness Nayuta felt from the dance party quick ly disappeared. Reze had to fix this, “How about something else? If we eat lunchlies for every meal they won’t be special anymore.” Denji realised that was a really convincing argument and accepted. “Let’s have burgers then!!” Reze and Nayuta smiled and said “Yay burgers!!!!”

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