Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She didn't even remember that it was her birthday. Truthfully, she wasn't sure how Silco knew when her birthday was, but these days she didn't have the mental capacity to question things like that. To her, Silco was practically an all knowing deity, a savior. When Vi left her alone, crying in the rain, he had come and scooped her up, unnecessarily taking on the burden of a child.

Jinx owed him everything.

Sometimes it was still hard to remember that was her name now. The ghosts in her mind hadn't caught on yet, they still whispered Powder in her ear, over and over again, in an infuriating chant.

They never left her alone. Mylo was the loudest, just like he had been when he was alive. He always had something to say, always knew exactly what would mess with her fragile mind.

All day long, he taunted her with all her mistakes, all the ways she was a failure and a disappointment. Many days, she would run to Silco with tears streaming down her cheeks, her head throbbing from the constant, never-ending ache. He would hold her and gently pet her head as he whispered reassurances about how she Jinx was perfect. Some days, it was exactly what she needed to hear, others, it left her reeling even more than before.

They all called her Jinx now, Silco told her Powder was dead, and she mostly believed that, but some days she still felt like Powder. Some days, despite the resentment that bubbled in her veins, she held tight to the stuffed bunny Vi had gifted to her the day everything fell apart. She clutched it so hard her knuckles turned white, and her tears soaked it's poorly stitched fabric.

She wished she had her bunny right now.

Vander had always made sure to celebrate their birthdays, maybe that's how Silco had discovered hers. He always shut down The Last Drop for the day, decorated the dance floor, made whatever their favorite treat was, and put on their favorite songs. It wasn't much, but it was some of her best memories.

She and Vi had a favorite song, one that Silco had since removed from the old jukebox. Vander had told them it had been their mother's favorite, too, and it made them feel a little closer with her, even though her memory faded more and more with every passing day.

While Vi had detailed stories of things they had once done with their parents, Jinx had nothing except fuzzy faces and the occasional scent that would stir something deep inside her and leave her longing for the mother she couldn't remember.

Right now, surrounded by a handful of people that were decades older than her and looked like they would rather be anywhere else, Jinx wished her sister were there. She wished Vi was there to grab her hands and twirl her around as Vander put on their song. She wished Mylo were there to make jokes that were so unfunny you had to laugh, and that Claggor was there to wrap her in a bear hug. At the end of the night, when she had eaten her body weight in sweets and danced herself to exhaustion, Vander would scoop her up and put her to bed. Sometimes, she would pretend to be asleep, just so he would carry her, tuck her in, and plant a soft kiss right on her forehead.

She had spent every day of the last several months haunted by what happened, but none of them felt as miserable as today did. Today was a reminder that she had lived to see another year while the rest of her family hadn't. She was alive, but she was alone, save for Silco.

Silco was the only person she had left. What choice did she have but to cling to him?

Jinx duh her nails into the soft skin of her palm, savoring the brief moment of relief she got from the stinging pain. That was something she had learned early on. The voices only vanished when she was in pain. The worse the pain, the quieter her brain. She bit her cheek as Silco walked out with a small cake covered in pink icing with a single candle on top. Her stomach churned, and just the sight of the sickly sweet pastry made her want to vomit.

That was another side effect of that day: she had completely lost her appetite. She would go days at a time without eating, not because of a lack of food like she had known as a child, but because she simply didn't want to eat. Whenever the gnawing pain in her stomach got too intense, and she finally caved and ate whatever she could stomach, the food was bland and left her gagging. She knew that even cake wouldn't remedy that.

"Happy birthday, child," Silco cooed as he placed the cake in front of her. The single, flickering candle cast a warm, orange glow across the room, reminding Jinx of the sharp glow of Silco's injured eye. Shadows danced on the walls around her, shifting into the images of the monsters that lived inside her.

She saw Mylo and Claggor's shadowy, corpselike forms staring at her with dead eyes. A chill raced down her spine as she stared at them, her heart racing in her chest like a rabbit caught in a trap. Memories flickered in her mind— blood, rubble, the scent of charred flesh, smoke filling her lungs. She had gone back to look for them, and, oh, what a mistake that had been. Claggor was unrecognizable, his body so battered from being crushed by the crumbling building. Mylo was even more haunting. A long pole stuck out from his chest, and his eyes were open and vacant.

Her eyes wildly darted around the room as the ghosts closed in on her, reminding her that it should've been her, not them. She was certain they were going to kill her, but then there was a flash of pink, pushing them back.

Vi.

Even as a ghost, her big sister was always there to protect her. It only made the hole in her heart hurt worse. Vi should be there. They should be celebrating together, but instead, Vi was dead. Because of her.

You're a jinx! Mylo was right.

Jinx flinched, and her hand twitched as she fought the urge to reach up and cover her ears. She was still vaguely aware of all the eyes that were settled on her, watching her descent. Plenty of them hated her. They were only there because Silco commanded them to be. If it were up to them, she would be tossed onto the streets and left for dead. The last thing she needed was to show them how weak she was. She needed to prove herself as something strong, something to be feared, and she certainly wasn't doing that by losing it in front of them over a stupid birthday cake.

Ignoring the shrieking voices, Jinx leaned forward and blew out the candle, bathing the room in darkness. Silco gently petted her head, smoothing out the two braids that now adorned her head. For weeks after that day, she refused to let anyone touch her hair. It had gotten so matted, Sevika had been certain they would have to chop it all off, but Silco had listened to her wailing and known it wasn't an option. He sat for hours, scrubbing her hair with soap and condition and working a brush through the knots. After that, every day he brushed through her hair and put it in two, neat braids.

At first, it reminded her of Vi, but now, she used it as a way to forget Vi. She sat perfectly still on Silco's lap as he ran the brush through her hair, giving in to the static that always lurked in her mind until it was over.

Jinx leaned into Silco's touch, the voices momentarily fading to quiet background noise. He placed a small box in front of her, and she smiled robotically. There was no real emotion behind the expression, but she had to put on an act to show her gratitude. She had to be grateful and make herself useful, otherwise Silco would get tired of her and throw her away.

She opened the box, and stared at the small, brass and steel pistol nestled inside.

Her own gun.

Her lips twitched into a genuine smile, her mind empty as she picked it up, her fingers instinctively curling around the trigger. She had always been a good shooter. Nobody could beat her at the shooting range in the old arcade, and she always beat Ekko when they played paintball. Every time he thought he could outrun her bullets, and every time she hit him right in the center of his chest.

Her head spun at the memory of her old friend, and she quickly pushed thoughts of him away. He was gone, too. She wasn't quite sure what had happened to him, but it didn't really matter. She was alone, except for Silco. Now, Silco was the only thing that mattered.

"You're thirteen now, I think you're more than old enough to start helping out on missions," Silco said as he adjusted her grip.

Jinx nodded eagerly. Finally, she would have a chance to prove that she could be useful. Sure, her bombs and weapons had come a long way, and Silco kept her busy with building those, but now, she could prove that she wasn't just a weak little girl anymore.

She set the gun down and hugged Silco, muttering a quiet thanks. Speaking had gotten harder since that day, too. Janna knew she could scream until her throat was raw, but words were scarce and quiet. Everyone knew she could talk, she just chose not to.

Hugging Silco was very different from hugging Vander, Vi, or Claggor. He lacked all the warmth and affection that they had held. His embraces were cold and stiff, but she supposed it was better than nothing.

"Eat your cake, child," Silco instructed as he finally pulled away from her, gesturing toward the untouched cake.

Jinx's stomach churned in protest, but she knew better than to disobey, even over something as silly as this. Reluctantly, she picked up the fork and broke off a small piece. Just as she expected, the frosting was disgustingly sweet, and she could already feel her stomach churning. She forced bite after bite into her mouth though, letting that familiar static in her mind take over while her body ran on autopilot.

When her plate was finally clean, her belly was full and bloated. She felt disgusting. The voices planted terrifying thoughts into her head, urging her to take Silco's knife and carve her stomach open to get rid of the disgusting cake, but she knew that would only cause her more problems.

Before her twitching hands could wander towards dangerous objects, she left, mumbling some excuse to Silco as she ran toward her hideout. She had found the cave about a month after Silco took her in, and she had taken the liberty to make it her own. Sleep was not her friend, but she found it was a little easier to get a few hours of rest in the cave than it was at The Last Drop, surrounded by ghosts and memories.

Tonight, though, the darkness was not her friend. She didn't even get a chance to sit down before the voices attacked her, and menacing demons filled her vision, approaching her from every angle and leaving her cornered.

You're a jinx!

She jinxes every job.

She never does anything right.

You killed us.

Jinx whimpered and covered her ears. Her stomach churned, and her vision blurred as bile rose up her throat, burning her mouth. She leaned over and gagged, expelling whatever remained of the cake from her body. The acrid taste stung her mouth, and her stomach still ached, but at least she didn't feel quite as bloated.

She sighed and laid on the cool, metal ground beside the puddle of vomit, careful to keep her hair away from it. The voices had been dimmed to a whisper, for now, but she knew it wouldn't last long. She just wanted a moment to rest. Her mind and body were spent from the events of the last several hours, and she could barely find the energy to move.

Just as she had started to doze off, a sound jolted her awake. It wasn't unusual for there to be strange sounds that disturbed her. There was a colony of bats that lived in the cave, and sometimes they could get quite disruptive. This was different, though. It sounded like footsteps.

She knew Silco's footsteps like the back of her hand, and these weren't his. They were quieter, lighter, like someone was trying, and failing, to sneak in. She sat up, her vision blurring dangerously as she reached for her pistol. She had never been so glad for a birthday present before. She had no idea if the gun was loaded or if she even knew how to use a real gun, but she hoped the threat of it would be enough to ward off whoever was foolish enough to sneak into her space.

Her finger rested on the trigger, and she aimed in the direction of the sound, her finger twitching, ready to press down as she saw someone emerge.

"Powder?"

The name sliced through her like she had become a piece of cake. This time, it wasn't just the ghosts in her mind taunting her with it, this voice was real.

Her eyes focused just enough to make out his wide, nervous eyes, and his comfortingly familiar white hair. Immediately, the gun dropped from her hand.

"Ekko?" she whispered, her voice trembling.

Was this real? Was he real? Or was this just another cruel figment of her broken imagination?

Before she could process anything, Ekko was running toward her. Instinctively, she flinched, only to melt as he pulled her into his arms. Hugging him was everything that hugs with Silco weren't. It was warm and so full of emotion it made her feel like she was going to explode.

"Gods, I've been looking everywhere for you, Powder. I missed you so much," Ekko muttered as he held her as tightly as he could. Just like her, he had lost everyone that night, and he had been so scared that he had lost her, too. For weeks, he had assumed that she died alongside the rest of her siblings until he heard the rumors that Silco had taken in a little blue-haired girl. He had looked everywhere for her, and finally, he managed to find her.

He was going to save her.

There was so much he wanted to tell her, and most of all, he couldn't wait to show her the tree he had found and decided to call home. He figured there would be plenty of time for that later, though. Soon enough, it would be her home, too. At least that's what he had thought.

"Missed you too, Little Man," Jinx choked out, her voice raspy from disuse.

When Ekko finally let go of her, she took a moment to look at him. He was growing up fast. Already, his face and muscles were more defined than she remembered them being the last time she had seen him. He was still Little Man, there was no doubt about that, but soon enough, he would lose what little remained of his baby fat and his mischievous, boyish energy.

Ekko watched as Powder scanned him, and he looked over her. Initially, he had seen that flash of blue hair, and his relief that he had finally found her blinded him. Nothing else mattered, except it did. She looked awful. Her eyes were dull and sunken, and he wondered how long it had been since she last slept. Aside from that, she wore a baggy crop top, clearly it had been cut from what she had used to wear. Her pale stomach was on display, and he could see the ribs poking through her flesh. She looked skeletal, and it made his heart race with concern. Had she been eating?

Did Silco do this to her?

He had a million questions, but he bit his tongue, and opted to pull out the small, paper package in his pocket instead. His heart skipped a beat as he held it out to her, waiting for her to take it.

Jinx furrowed her brows and hesitantly took the package from him. She had no doubt that he knew exactly what today was. They had celebrated every birthday together for as long as she could remember. She couldn't remember a life without Ekko in it. He had always been there, always been her best friend. Things were different now, though. She wasn't Powder anymore.

She opened the package anyway, pulling out a small, mechanical Firelight. It was amazing, and something she knew that only Ekko could build. For a moment, her mind shut off, shifting into hyperfocus as she examined the workmanship and mechanics. They had always been each other's inventive partners. He was a genius when it came to building things, and the small toy was no exception. Carefully, she turned the small lever to wind up the toy, and she released it, watched as the small bulb on its back came to life with green light, and its metallic wings fluttered through the air.

It was mesmerizing to watch.

"I remember you used to like going down to the tunnels to watch the firelights there," Ekko said shyly, watching the green light reflect in her cloudy blue eyes.

"It's amazing, Ekko," she replied, a warm and fuzzy feeling blooming in her chest.

"Happy birthday, Powder," he whispered as he gently grabbed her hand.

One word. Her own name was all it took to shatter the illusion. She was thrown back into her cruel, lonely reality. She wasn't Powder anymore, she was Jinx, now.

"That's not my name anymore," she said firmly, abruptly pulling her hand away from him.

"What are you—" Ekko didn't get the chance to finish his question before she interrupted him with his answer.

"My name is Jinx."

Ekko flinched. He knew the weight that name held. He had heard Mylo call her that name time and time again to bother her. He never believed it for a second. In fact, he was always in awe of how intelligent and creative Powder was, but Mylo didn't understand her like he did.

"Pow, you're not—"

"That's not my name!" Jinx snapped, her eyes flashing with anger.

Didn't he get that Powder died alongside her siblings? She wasn't the innocent little girl he had known. She was a monster. Did he know what she had done? Did he know that she was the reason they were dead? Her stomach churned and she tried to swallow the bile the burned her throat, but she couldn't stop herself from retching.

Ekko watched with wide eyes as she fell to her knees, and he quickly pulled back her bangs and braids, holding them out of her face as she puked. He had noticed the other puddle of vomit, but he hadn't had a money to mention it yet. Clearly, she was sick. He needed to get her out, and get her help.

When she was done, sweat beaded her forehead, and tears stung her eyes. She struggled to sit up, another wave of exhaustion wracking through her. She supposed this was what she got for not eating or sleeping consistently.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm gonna get you some help," Ekko fretted as he held her in his arms.

"I'm gonna get you out of here," he mumbled as he went to pick her up.

The words registered in Jinx's hazy mind, and she ripped away from his grasp. She wasn't a damsel in distress. She didn't need help.

"I'm not going anywhere. I don't need your help," Jinx huffed as she backed away from him.

"Powder, Silco's not here. You don't have to stay here. I have a place we can go! I've found some new friends, we're starting a group called the Firelights. We're gonna help people and stop Silco," Ekko chattered excitedly, fully believing that his words would convince her to join him.

Jinx laughed, the sound sharp and bitter, so different from the laugh Ekko had once known so well.

"Silco isn't keeping me here. He takes care of me. He loves me," she replied firmly, though she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Ekko.

"Powder—"

"I told you, that's not my name!" she snarled, the noise in her mind flaring at her outburst.

Ekko froze, uncertain of how to proceed. This wasn't how he thought things would go.

"Jinx," he mumbled, the word foreign in his mouth. It felt like the final nail in the coffin. Despite her stubborn insistence, the moment he said the word, he regretted it. He felt the energy between them shift and he knew there was no going back to what they had been before.

"There you go, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Jinx replied snarkily, her lips twisted into a mocking grin.

Ekko's stomach churned. This wasn't the girl he knew. He knew what grief did to a person, he could understand the dark, hollow eyes, afterall, he still saw Benzo's death in his dreams every night. This was different, though. It was like all the kindness and sweetness had been sucked out of Powder, leaving behind a rotten, twisted shell. Even then, he didn't want to leave her.

He had no doubt that this was Silco's doing. Silco had messed with her mind and warped her into something almost unrecognizable, but if he just got her away from him…

Without another thought, Ekko grabbed her wrist and attempted to drag her away. Surely, if he could just get her out and show her everything he had been build— things he had been building for her— then she would listen, right?

They only made it a few steps before her hand stung his face with a harsh slap, making him stumble back in shock. He had never seen Powder hit anyone before, but she had just hit him.

"I don't need to be saved," Jinx growled, her hand trembling.

She only processed what she had done after it was too late to stop herself. Now, she had a minute, at most, before her mind fell into chaos. Already, she could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks, and the phantom stinging pain of the slap that had changed her life forever. She was no better than Vi. No, she was far worse than Vi. She was a murderer. For so long, she had been angry with Vi, but now, she wished Vi had hurt her more. She wished Vi had just killed her and spared her from this misery.

Ekko was speechless. There were no words left for him to say, he just stared at her with a wounded gaze.

"Get out of here, Boy Savior," she spat mockingly, staining him with a new, cruel nickname.

The words hurt worse than the slap. Not only was she pushing him away, she had the audacity to insult him for caring about her, for trying to help.

Boy Savior.

Little did he know those two words would follow him and haunt him for years to come. He wasn't a savior. Not to her. The one person he cared about most, he couldn't save.

There was nothing left for him to say. He turned away from her and left, shattering what had remained of their friendship on the way out.

He heard the crunch of metal beneath his foot— the firelight he had gifted her. Maybe, if he wasn't so angry and hurt, he would be upset about all his hard work crumbling just like that, but he was glad to leave the broken pieces behind as a reminder for her.

Just as he reached the entrance, he paused for a moment. He knew he should just walk away and leave it alone, but he couldn't.

"You know you're nothing except a prize to him, right? He doesn't care about you, he's using you. If you want to stay here, though, be my guest," Ekko spat, sparing one last glance at her before he turned his back to her for good. He would regret it. He knew he would, but the anger burned inside him, and he needed to let it out. He needed her to know the truth, though he had a feeling, at least to some degree, she already knew it.

Jinx gritted her teeth so hard, she thought they would break. The moment he was out of sight, and she could no longer hear the echoes of his footsteps, the dam broke, and she crumbled.

You ruin everything.

He hates you.

You never deserved him.

Nobody will ever love you.

Jinx shrieked and covered her ears, letting her nails dig into her scalp. Memories of orange flames and rain washing away her tears and begging screams resurfaced, and she felt like she was going to drown.

Violet, please!

I need you!

Tears streamed down Jinx's face, and she dragged her nails along her cheek, leaving angry red marks in the same spot that Vi had hit her that night— the same spot she had hit Ekko only moments ago.

Nobody was coming for her. She didn't deserve anyone.

She cowered as Mylo's sinister face loomed over her, his laughter like nails on a chalkboard. In the corner of her vision, she saw a glimpse of pink hair, and her heart skipped a beat.

"Vi?" she whispered, a dangerous flicker of hope in her voice.

Vi's ghost turned around, but her fists were raised and stained with blood. Her eyes were narrowed and burning with rage.

You did this.

"No, no… I'm sorry!" Jinx sobbed, flinching violently as the ghost lunged toward her. She curled into herself, pressing her forehead against the floor and squeezing her eyes shut in hopes of blocking the cruel images that filled her vision. Her breath was quick and shallow, and her hands were held firmly over her head, blocking out as much of the noise and violence as she could.

"It was an accident… it was an accident," she muttered the words over and over again like they were a sacred prayer. She wasn't the one that needed to be convinced, though. Accident or not, she was the reason they were dead, and she knew they had every right to be venegeful. As terrifying as it was, she knew she deserved the torment.

Eventually, the episode came to an end. It could've been minutes or hours, she wasn't sure, but she was relieved when the scattered, scribbled lines that surrounded her ghosts faded away, allowing her vision to clear, and the voices dulled to soft whispers. She stayed in her position for a moment longer, trying to get her breath to return to a normal, steady rate.

Every muscle in her body ached, but she forced herself to stand anyway. She walked over to where the little firelight lay broken on the floor. She knelt down, scooping it into her hands, but she knew it was beyond repair. Tears spilled down her eyes as she cradled the broken gift close to her chest.

She missed him. That hadn't been a lie. They couldn't be friends anymore, though. The moment he found out what she had done— that she was the reason they were all dead— he would hate her. He would leave her, just like Vi did. It was like Silco always told her, everyone else betrays them. She couldn't handle the heartbreak of another betrayal, so this time, she had to gaurd her heart and push him away. It was better this way.

Why did it feel like she was being ripped apart, then?

With the broken mechanical bug still clutched tightly in her hand, she staggered toward the patchwork sofa she had dragged all the way from the basement of The Last Drop. It was the only spot she could ever get even a brief moment of sleep. She collapsed onto the couch and curled up, laying the pieces on the fabric beside her. She wanted to keep the final remnant of Ekko close, but right now, she needed her sister.

She reached for the stuffed bunny, and wrapped herself around it, burying her face in the threadbare fabric.

"Dear friend, across the river…" Jinx began to sing the lullaby, her voice cracking in between her sobs. Their mother had taught them the song, but it was Vi's voice she remembered most. Vi would hum along while she sang the words, and then Vi would tuck her into bed. They used it the most after a nightmare. Vi had always told her to sing the song when she was scared and then things would be okay. Back then she had believed every word her big sister told her, but now, it was nothing more than a habit.

Her voice trailed off as her eyes fluttered, and finally fell closed. Sleep would not be kind to her, it never was. Despite her tight grip, the bunny fell out of her arms, tumbling toward the cold ground, and knocking the broken firelight down with it. The final pieces of Powder falling away for good.

Chapter Text

Five years later…

Eighteen years old. It was eighteen too many if you asked Jinx. Another year of violence, paranoia, and hysteria had passed by in the blink of an eye, and suddenly, it was her birthday again. One of the most dreaded days of the year.

Truthfully, as she had gotten older, every day became a burden. Her mind buzzed dangerously, and Mylo refused to leave her alone. Every moment of the day, he was there watching and moking her. It was exhausting, but in a twisted way, she had learned to find comfort in his ghostly presence.

Today, he was particularly loud, as he always was on her birthday.

Blah, blah, blah… She didn't deserve to be alive. it should've been her instead of them. Nobody loves her. She should just end her own misery.

It was the same things every day. Eventually, she thought she'd get used to it, but she never did. Every day, his voice was just as cruel and jarring as the last. It took more of her willpower than she'd like to admit to avoid driving a knife into her own brain to scramble her memories.

It was almost funny. Birthdays were a useless celebration in Zaun. Sure, as a kid if you were lucky enough to survive and have people that cared about you, they might be celebrated, but the older you got, the more you realized they weren't really something to celebrate. All birthdays had become to her were a marker that she had survived yet another year of life, and she wished she hadn't.

If she had it her way, she would just forget about her birthday, and let time fade away into something meaningless. Silco never forgot her birthday, though.

Nobody else in his crew got any sort of celebration, but every year, he paused operations to throw her a celebration. Sometimes, she wondered if it was actually meant to be a punishment— a reminder of who she was and what she had done.

Jinx. Jinx. Jinx.

You're a jinx.

"I know!" she snapped as she turned to face Mylo's shadowy form. She didn't need the reminder, but he loved to give it to her anyway.

She had tried everything she could think of to get rid of the voices, but nothing worked. If anything, the more she fought them, the worse they got. So, she had learned to live with the constant whispers and chattering in her head. Sometimes they were just a nuisance, reminding her of her mistakes, other times they haunted her with screams. The worse, though, was when they'd whisper all the reasons she deserved to hurt— to die. They would drive her crazy, like an itch she couldn't scratch, until she finally did something that would temporarily satiate them.

Sometimes a bullet through someone else's skull gave her enough of a buzz to escape the whispers, other times, they were only satisfied by her own pain. She just wished they would leave her alone, but they were always hungry for her suffering, and now, murder wasn't enough to satiate them.

Her fear of death had vanished the first time she intentionall killed someone. That was the day that whatever little had remained of her innocence was cruelly burned away.

It had happened only two weeks after her thirteenth birthday. During those weeks, she had spent hours and hours practicing with her gun, and finally Silco had sent her out on a mission, much to Sevika's dismay.

She still remembered how it had felt when it happened. She looked the girl in the eyes as she lifted her gun and pulled the trigger, not allowing herself even a second to overthink it, just like Silco had taught her. She watched the life drain from the girl's eyes as blood sprayed from her head, and she crumpled to the ground with a thud that seemed to reverberate through Jinx.

It had been impossible to move. She stared with wide eyes as the blood stained the cobblestone, the puddle growing with every passing second. Her hands trembled violently, and the gun fell from her hands, clattering against the ground. She was paralyzed. Her muscles refused to work, and her brain refused to comprehend anything except for the crimson blood that stained the girl's pale face.

Sevika had dragged her away from the scene, and as soon as the body was out of sight, she burst into hysterical laughter. She had done it. She had killed someone, on purpose, this time. Her knees had buckled beneath her, and Sevika was forced to carry her home as she cackled uncontrollably, tears dripping down her face.

She didn't know why she had been laughing. Nothing about it was funny.

Sevika had said she was in shock. Maybe that was true. Reality had hit her hard later that night when all she could see every time she closed her eyes was lifeless eyes and an endless amount of blood. For weeks, she had been convinced that there was blood stained on her hands. She would spend hours scrubbing her hands until they were sore and raw, and even then, she never felt clean enough.

The first time was the hardest. Everything after that got easier. Now, it felt like a game. Besides, wasn't sure doing them a favor? Surely wherever you go after had to be better than the hell they lived in.

Jinx leaned closer to the edge of the fan blade, peering over the edge into the empty abyss below. She had no idea how far down it went, but she was certain that a fall was a death sentence. It would be so easy to just roll over the side, and nobody would ever find her body.

Do it.

Fall.

"Not today," she sighed as she rolled away from the edge, landing on her back. Today, Silco would be looking for her. She would be expected to make an appearance at whatever celebration Silco had planned.

Every year, he got the same, stupid cake. She gagged just thinking about it, but what choice did she have other than to eat it? He thought she loved it because she ate it every year, little did he know she spent the better part of her night puking it all up.

Throughout the years, she had discovered ways to make the day more bareable. Usually, it was an offering to the voices. Some pain in exchange for brief periods of silence. Her favorite had been last year, her seventeenth birthday. She had been wanting tattoos, and finally, Silco had caved and allowed her to go. The sharp ache of the needle piercing her skin over and over again had been enough to silence the voices, and she now got to show off the winding blue smoke that covered her body.

Today, she had something else in mind. Her body was already littered with scars, what more could the ghosts possibly want from her? Instead, in honor of officially becoming and adult, she planned to steal a bottle of liquor from the bar. Alcohol and shimmer were two of the few things Silco forbade her from touching. Shimmer, she had no interest in, but if there was any chance that alcohol may help her dull the memories and voices, just for one night, it was worth any risk.

Stealing the liquor had been easy. The bar was empty during the day, and Chuck was probably busy dealing with whatever Silco's plans for the evening were. She was able to slip in, snatch a bottle of whiskey, and bolt out the door before anyone was the wiser. She tucked the bottle away in the couch cushions when she made it back to her hideout. She was smarter than to leave it out where Silco could see it if he decided to stop by. Besides, she wouldn't need it until later, anyway. She couldn't show up drunk to the celebration. There would be no hiding that from Silco.

She spent the majority of her day blasting music and tinkering with her bombs and new weapons designs. Everyone knew she had her flaws on missions. Sometimes Mylo would get too loud and she would miss instructions, or the worst, was when she caught glimpses of Vi in the corner of her vision. Any sight of Vi left her reeling for hours, if not days. She was a mess, a liability, a danger, a loose cannon— those were just some of the things she had been called. If Sevika and the others had it their way, she would've been dead long ago, but her engineering talents made up for her unpredictability on missions. As long as she was able to build weaponry for Silco, she had a purpose, and she couldn't be thrown away.

There was a pile of bombs on her desk by the time Silco came to fetch her for her birthday festivities. She put on her sweetest smile and sauntered over to him, throwing her arms around him in a hug.

"Your party is ready," Silco said as he stiffly returned her embrace, and ran his fingers over her soft, blue braids.

"Can't wait," Jinx chirped, swallowing her sarcasm. She obediently followed Silco back to The Last Drop, and braced herself for what was to come. It was just cake and presents. Presents were nice, she supposed. Just the thought of the cake made her stomach churn. She wasn't sure why she didn't just tell him she despised it.

Fear.

For someone who tried so hard to act fearless, her entire life was controlled by it. She had seen plenty of people set off Silco's temper. Many ended up with veins full of shimmer, some ended up with a knife in their gut, others simply disappeared. She didn't want to know what consequences Silco would have in store for her if she dared to put a foot over their fuzzy line. There were many things she could get away with, but she had to be careful. Unless she knew it was something he would brush off, she was hesitant to misbehave.

The main room of the bar was covered in blue and pink streamers, and there was the cake— the stupid, awful cake— waiting for her at the head of the table. Already, she felt claustrophobic in the room. Silco's crew filled the room, forced to be there or risk his wrath. She would've preferred that they weren't there, but she got no say over the situation. Instead, she walked past dozens of judging, prying eyes as she approached her seat.

She knew some of the crew better than others. Some of them, Silco trusted with highly important tasks, and others were there for grunt work. There were a group of men, several years older than her, eyeing her like a pack of wolves watching a piece of steak. Their gazes lingered on her body, and she hated it. One word to Silco was all it would take, and they would end up with a bullet to their brain. She kept her mouth shut, though. The stakes were too high, and for all she knew, they were just trying to get a reaction from her.

The lingering, predatory gazes was something she noticed more and more, now. She had grown up, shifted from a girl to a woman, and now, men watched her like she was a prize to be won. Zaun was a place of scandal and crime. She knew there were plenty of girls that were sold into prostitution once they reached adulthood. She prayed that Silco would never be that cruel to her.

In technical terms, she was an adult, but she still felt like a little girl, trapped in that horrible, tragic day. The memories never left her mind, and she could already feel them starting to simmer and bubble beneath the surface. Soon, she would be haunted by all her ghosts until she was left alone on the floor, shaking and crying, begging for people that she would never see again.

She sat tensely in the chair with a painful smile plastered on her face as Silco lit the candle. The flame was mesmerizing to watch, and her hand twitched at her side, tempted to rip the candle from the cake and drop it to the floor to watch the building erupt into flames. She wanted them to take her, she swallow her in their hungry heat.

Instead, she blew out the candle, letting the scent of smoke sting her nose.

It was the same act every year.

Silco brought out a handful of neatly wrapped boxes, and she went through the motions of unwrapping them and playing the part of his unhinged, grateful daughter. Daddy's girl, they always said. Well, that was the nicer of the many things they liked to say about her.

She barely registered what the gifts were this year. She mostly went through the motions of tearing off the paper, forcing a smile, and politely thanking Silco. By the time she was done, her stomach was churning at the sight of the cake, but she had no choice but to obediently eat what had been put in front of her.

The familiar buzzing of her mind took over as she shoveled bite after bite of the disgustingly sweet dessert into her mouth. By the time she was done, she had already come up with some excuse for her urgent departure. It would take everything in her to not run out of The Last Drop, but she knew her urgency would raise too many questions.

Before she got the chance to make her exit, Silco came up beside her and ran his fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch out of instinct— years of doing her hair.

He always knew just how to play with her mind, to keep her on edge. She craved his attention and affection, though, and she couldn't make herself pull away whenever it was offered.

She lost track of how much time she spent with Silco. Her mind was too full of fog to keep track, but as soon as she made her escape from the bar, she ran all the way back to her hideout, ready to down as much alcohol as she could handle. She would do anything to block out the voices.

She curled up on her couch, pulling out the bottle from where it was hidden between the cushions. She popped the cork off the top of the bottle, and hesitantly sniffed it. The smell alone was enough to burn the back of her throat. She knew drinking it wouldn't be pleasant, but it would be worth— she hoped it would be, anyway.

Before she could second guess her life choices, Jinx tilted her head back and took a big swig of the bitter liquid. She swallowed quickly, the taste stinging her mouth and esophagus as she swallowed. The alcohol landed heavily in her stomach, and she fought the urge to gag. It tasted horrible. She had no clue why anyone would drink the stuff for fun, but if it dulled the memories, it would be worth it.

She took sip after sip of the whiskey until heat began to spread through her chest, and her head gre fuzzy. There wasn't much of the liquor left in the bottle. She figured it would be a waste to throw the bottle away without drinking every last drop. She choked on the taste, coughing violently after she swallowed, but she managed to finish it, and she giggled as she tossed the bottle over true side of the fanblade into the dark abyss below. Now, nobody would every know.

Her head felt light and fuzzy, and she burst into laughter, not really knowing why. Everything felt funny. She thought it was hilarious when she stumbled over to her desk to grab a handful of chompers. She tripped over her own feet as she walked, but she couldn't even feel the dull ache from falling.

She laid dangerously close to the edge of the fan blade, letting her legs dangle over the sides as she toyed with her bombs with a lazy smile on her face. Her eyes sparkled as she pulled the pin and watched the chomper come to life. Its eyes lit up with a menacing shade of pink, and it shook and vibrated as its teeth chattered together, ready to clamp onto anything that got stuck between those sharp, metal teeth.

5… 4… 3… 2…

At the last second, Jinx tossed it over the side, cackling gleefully at the loud explosion and rush of warmth that burned her legs. She loved the rush she got when she blew things up. The thrill, the excitement, the warmth, and most importantly, it pushed the voices into silence. They rarely bothered her while she was working or blowing things up, so both had become frequent past times.

Her mind wandered back to the entrancing, flickering flame of her birthday candle. There was something so beautiful about fire despite how deadly it was. She craved the sight of those dancing flames and endless warmth.

An idea popped into her mind. A dangerously wonderful idea.

Even sober, she rarely let herself linger on the consequences of her actions. What did she really have left to lose?

Drunk Jinx, had no cares. She scooped up a handful of bombs, strapping them to her belt and clumsily skipped toward the entrance to the hideout. She knew exactly where she could go for a little bit of chaotic, destructive fun.

The walk to the building was a blur, her legs wobbing and threatening to buckle with every uneven step, but by some miracle, she made it to the building.

Perfect.

Jinx stood on her unsteady legs, swaying gently as she stared up at the rickety building. Really, she was doing the city a favor. The fact the place was still standing was a miracle, but all it would take is one foolish kid thinking they found the perfect hiding place, and the whole building— if you could even still call it that— would come tumbling down.

Once upon a time, it had been a community center of sorts. That had been long before Jinx was born, though. As long as she could remember, The Last Drop had been the center of Zaun. Admittedly, it had felt more welcoming when Vander was still alive. Silco ran the place like a true kingpin, trying to milk every last cent from the patrons with promises of liquor and shimmer. The bar was no longer a safe place for all people of the community, instead, only those on Silco's good side dared to step inside.

She didn't have to turn around to know that Vander's ghost was behind her, his disappointed gaze threatening to rip her to shreds. She wouldn't turn around. She couldn't.

Instead, she reached for her belt, unstrapping the bombs that hung from her hip, clattering together with every step. She loved toying with death. One wrong move, and…

Boom.

There would be nothing left but ashes.

Some days, she thought that would be better. She never found the courage to go through with it, though. As tough and fearless as she liked to pretend she was, deep down, that scared little girl still had control of her heart.

Jinx wasted no time. She pulled the first chomper from the belt, pulling the pin and tossing it toward the fragile building without a moment's hesitation. The loud chattering became more rapid, and Jinx braced herself for the explosion.

BOOM!

The deafening noise rattled through her, and she watched as the decaying wood erupted into colorful flames, a drunken giggle slipping from her throat. Who cared about her family's disapproval? Nothing really mattered, anyway.

She threw two more bombs, doubling over with laughter as the flames climbed higher, and soon every inch of the building was engulfed in the fire. She just stood and watched, the light flickering ominously in her vacant eyes. On her belt, she had a can of pink spray paint— she always had to leave her calling card. Not that there were many other people in the Undercity that would blow a building to smithereens without a second thought.

Clumsy hands wrapped around the can, pulling it free from the tangled mess of straps and fabric. She sauntered forward, careless of the flames and falling debris that surrounded her. Near the flames, there was a brick wall, perfect for her iconic monkey symbol.

Silco would be pissed. She would get an earful about her recklessness and stupidity. She wasn't sure she cared anymore, though. For years, she had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. She had witnessed Silco's wrath— seen the way his orange eye burned like a raging wildfire as he snapped at whatever fool had dared to test him or defy him. More times than she could count, she had watched him drive that prized knife of his into people's chests, always just below their heart to drag out their pain. Silco was a lot of things, but merciful was not one of them. Unless, it came to her.

She knew it was just one of the many reasons the rest of his crew despised her. While they got worked to the bone, she was pampered and spoiled. He whispered sweet lies to her, calling her his perfect girl as he held tight to her hair, tying it into her signature twin braids. There was a twist, though, even with her. If she got too behind on building her gadgets and weaponry or screwed up particularly badly on a mission, his words would twist and sugar-coated threats would spill from his lips. They were never directly spoken, but she could see the anger in his eyes, and she knew he could be dangerous.

The worst part was Silco knew exactly how to hurt her most. Death was meaningless to her. She stopped fearing pain and death long ago. She had been beaten, burned, and cut countless times, and now, she barely even flinched.

Silco knew what her worst fears were, though. He knew about the voices and the ghastly faces that surrounded her on the darkest nights. He knew about her fear of being abandoned again, her countless nightmares of screaming for Vi, begging her not to leave her, had given that away early on. If he ever got angry enough and decided to punish her, there were plenty of crafty ways he could break her without laying a hand on her, and as much as she loved Silco, and craved the gentle words that he usually reserved for her alone, he still terrified her.

Well, he terrified Powder. That's why she had to stay locked deep down in the darkest part of her heart. Jinx could handle Silco, she was the one he wanted, his perfect creation. So, she put on an act, and somewhere along the way, the lines between reality and fantasy became so blurred she barely knew who she was anymore.

What would Vi think of her now? What did Ekko think of her?

No, she didn't need to ask that question. She knew exactly what the Boy Savior thought of her. It was infuriating that she still thought about him. What was even worse was that he was her greatest crime. They were enemies. The Firelights were Silco's greatest enemies, and over and over again he had called for the leader's capture or death, but somehow, miraculously, he always seemed to get away.

There was a lot of things she could do. The other Firelights weren't an issue. She could take them down without a flinch, but Ekko was a different story. Her heart still ached when she thought of her former best friend. Maybe in another life she had gone with him. This wasn't that life, though. The most she could do was convienently miss all her shots whenever he was in her vicinity, and she carefully kept her mouth shut when Silco mentioned the infamous Firelight leader. She knew. She had known for years, but he was all Powder had left, and she knew she couldn't bare to lose him too.

Jinx climbed up a burning wooden plank, daring the flames to chase her as she reached for the fragile rooftop of the burning building. Even in her drunken state, she knew this was stupid, but it just seemed like so much fun to spray paint the top of the brick wall where nobody would ever be able to reach again.

She cautiously prowled across the rooftop like a cat. Her hazy eyes scanned the floor beneath her feet, searching for weak spots. Finally, she made it close enough to the brick wall to leave her mark. She grinned and sprayed her neon pink paint as far as she could reach.

JINX WAS HERE

Her lips twisted into a proud grin as she nodded in satisfaction at her artwork, ignoring the sharp sting of the smoke in her lungs. She could hear the wood groaning and creaking as the flames moved dangerously closer to her. She sighed, knowing her fun was over, and took a step back to climb back down.

Jinx was always reckless, but drunk Jinx was an idiot. She should've known better than to spend that long on the roof of a burning building. Before she even had a second to react, the floor shifted gave way beneath her. She yelped as she tumbled down from the rooftop, having just enough sense to pitch her body to the side so she fell toward the concrete ground instead of the hungry flames below.

She landed hard on the ground, the impact rattling every bone in her body and knocking the air right out of her lungs. She wheezed and pitifully dragged herself away from the heat of the flames that had consumed everything around her.

A tired chuckle clawed it's way out of her throat. Everything hurt, but at least the ghosts were quiet.

It was only a relief until she remembered just how lonely she was without them. The ghosts of her family was all she had left.

"Vi?" she called softly, her voice cracking as she broke into a wheezing cough.

Normally, Vi was there in her worst moments. Even as a ghost, her big sister looked out for her. It was the only reason she had made it this far. Every time she slit her wrists or held a chomper for a few seconds longer than she should, pink hair would flash in her vision, and Vi would stare at her with wide, solemn eyes. She didn't know why Vi wanted her to stay alive, but she figured she owed it to her sister to listen.

Her vision blurred with tears, as she frantically glanced around, hoping for some sign of her sister. She was alone, though. Her only company was the flames that surrounded her.

"I miss you, sis," she muttered as she tried to force herself to sit up. Aside from the aching bruises and cuts that littered her body from her fall, her body felt too heavy, she figured it was a side effect of the alcohol. All her movements were uncoordinated and took too much effort. There was no way she was getting home on her own, not like this.

"Guess I really screwed up this time, huh?" Jinx chuckled bitterly as she slumped against the wall.

"Silco's gonna be pissed," she huffed as she leaned her head back to rest against the brick.

She had a long history of doing stupid stuff on her birthday, but most of the time she was more inconspicous. Stealing alcohol, blowing up and graffiting a building, and getting stuck and injured was absolutely going to get her in trouble. The only nice part of the alcohol was that, for now, her head felt too fuzzy to think about the consequences of her actions.

Another tired laugh bubbled in her throat, followed by a wave of nausea.

Great.

She knew it was coming. Every year she threw up that stupid cake. Her body couldn't stand the sugar. She supposed the alcohol didn't make things any better. If it wasn't the consequences of her own actions. She snorted and leaned back, trying to take, slow even breaths, but she knew she was fighting the inevitable.

Her eyes fell closed for a moment, only to fly right back open the moment she heard the familiar whirring of a hoverboard.

Firelights.

Boy Savior.

Little Man.

Ekko.

She doubted it was him. The Firelights patrolled the Lanes at night, everyone knew that. Whoever was on patrol had probably seen the smoke and come to investigate. She laughed again. She was going to die. Wasn't that nice?

It's about time.

"Oh, so now you decide to show up," Jinx grumbled as she turned to the side, glaring at Mylo's haunting apparition.

When the Firelights found her they would either kill her on the spot or take her hostage. Truthfully, she was hoping whoever it was decided to save everyone some time and just put her down like a sick dog.

The faint green glow crept into the alley, and Jinx smiled eerily.

"Over here, little bugs," she slurred in a sing-songy voice.

Much to her frustration, her vision blurred before she could catch sight of whichever masked vigilante would be her executioner. Her stomach lurched, bile creeping up her throat, and she hunched over, the horrible, tainted sweetness burning her throat and mouth.

Her eyes widened as she felt hands in her hair, pulling her braids back and out of her face.

So, it was him.

Ekko didn't know what he was doing. Call it instinct, or a bad, deadly habit.

He saw the smoke from a mile away, and he didn't doubt for a second who would be behind the crime. The only thing he could be grateful for was that it was an abandoned building far away from any inhabited areas. Still, he had to go investigate because it undoubtedly meant Jinx was up to no good.

Flames and graffiti were both things he expected. What he didn't expect, however, was Jinx slumped against the far brick wall looking like she was on death's doorstep. Her skin was too pale and covered in blood, ash and grime. A thin sheen of sweat made her skin seem to glisten in the warm light of the deadly flames. What concerned him the most, though, was the dazed, distant look in her eyes, and the way she was muttering to things he couldn't see.

When she hunched over to vomit, deja vu kicked in, and suddenly he was fourteen, and foolishly optimistic that his best friend would go home with him. Now, they were far from friends, yet he still held back her hair as she puked.

Her throat was raw, and her body spent when she finally stopped retching. She was exhausted, but she knew better than to fall asleep while exposed on the streets of Zaun. The last thing she needed was to wake up in some cellar in nothing but chains and her underwear. She knew it happened far too often, though. Pilties and some Zaunites shared one thing, and that was their selfish, depraved greed.

"Why're you here?" she stammered, trying to force her eyes to focus as she looked at him. He was wearing that stupid mask, just like always. She hadn't seen his face since her thirteenth birthday. She supposed she had lost the privilege of seeing him the moment her hand made contact with his face.

Ekko didn't answer, big shocker. From what she had witnessed, he rarely spoke when he wore his mask, and when he did, it was deep and distorted to hide his identity. It sounded nothing like him. She hated it.

Jinx gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes, stubbornly trying to pull away from him.

"I don't need your help, Boy Savior," she spat, her eyes narrowed into a glare that looked more like a squint.

"I should kill you," he finally spoke, his voice unfamilar, but it still sent a shiver down her spine.

"Be my guest, Little Man," she purred, letting her body go limp. If he wanted to kill her, the sooner the better. She was sick of living.

Ekko's brows furrowed from beneath his mask, and he watched as she stared up in defeat. Normally, he would brush this off as one of her games, but her dull, vacant eyes told him otherwise. She was giving up. Why?

Even from beneath the mask, he could smell the bitterness of alcohol on her breath. Jinx and any sort of mind altering substance seemed like a terrible combination, and it seemed like it was wreaking plenty of havoc on her body. Her movements were sluggish, and her words were slurred and drawn together. He wondered if she would even remember any of this in the morning.

He really should kill her. How many of his people had she killed? How many faces had he painted on that memorial because of her? She deserved it, yet he couldn't make himself do it.

Her eyes began to flutter, and she took short, wheezing breaths, making Ekko's heart jerk. Something was wrong.

"How much alcohol did you have?" he asked gruffly as he leaned down to check her temperature and examine her injuries.

"Dunno, lots," she snorted, her voice weak and slow.

He grumbled under his breath. He should leave her there to burn. She had gotten herself into this, he should let her get out. He knew he couldn't though. She was too drunk to move, and she had already puked once, if she fell asleep and vomited, she would die choking on her own puke. Not to mention, being vulnerable and incapacitated in Zaun in the middle of the night was asking for disaster. He hated Jinx, but there were things that even she didn't deserve.

She wasn't his responsibility, but he didn't want her blood on his hands or her ghost in his head. He still remembered where her hideout was. All he had to do was get her there, and then she would be Silco's problem. He sighed, still not pleased with the situation.

"Why do you bother wearing that stupid mask? I know it's you, Ekko," Jinx sighed, her words garbled and jumbled together, but still clear enough for him to understand.

His name on her lips shouldn't matter. It certainly shouldn't send a spark down his spine, but his body didn't seem to get the memo. He hadn't heard her use his name in five years. He knew that she knew who he was, but every time they encountered each other, it was always cruel taunting and infuriating nicknames. Now, her voice was softer, and she sounded almost like Powder, or at least what he imagined an older version of her voice would sound like.

He didn't know why he did it. There were plenty of reasons why he wore the mask, mostly to protect himself and the Firelights. He shouldn't take it off while they were in an exposed alley, but he finds himself lifting his fingers toward the mask, gently prying it off and revealing his face. He glared at her, making sure his detestment of her was obvious. Strangely, though, her eyes seemed to soften the moment she saw his face.

She reached up a weak, trembling hand towards his face, but she couldn't hold her arm up for long, so it flopped right back down to her side.

"Missed you," she whispered, the words barely audible.

It was a tell-tale sign she was drunk. Sober Jinx would never say that. He doubted she would even remember saying it in the morning, if she remembered seeing him at all. The words sliced through him, though. He hated her, but oh, how he missed her too. He pathetically longed for what could have been.

Jinx's eyes fluttered and fell closed, and drool dribbled out of the corner of her mouth. If he didn't know better, he would've thought she was dead.

"Jinx?" he called softly, trying to rouse her. She didn't respond, and she didn't move.

"Jinx." This time was more stern, and he reached over to carefully shake her. It still had no effect on drawing her back to consciousness.

He huffed in frustration, and reluctantly scooped her into his arms. There were so many reasons this was a bad idea, but he did it anyway. The alternate of leaving her there would sit heavily on his conscience, and the guilt would slowly eat at him. So, against his better judgment, he carried her toward the dark cave she seemed to call home.

Even after all these years, he still knew the way to her.

He'd be a liar if he said he hadn't thought about sneaking in to kill her or capture her, especially after particularly bad missions. There had been one in particular when he lost five of his friends to her bullets, and oh, he had been ready to strangle her with his bare hands and toss her body over the side of those graffiti fanblades, leaving her body to rot in the dark abyss. He had stood for two hours outside the entrance of the cave, pacing and muttering to himself, trying to decide what to do.

In the end, he had walked away, leaving the beast to sleep peacefully in her cave.

Now, he had the advantage. She was unconcious, her body limp in his arms, and her head lolling against his chest. There were a million ways he could put an end to her reckless terror. He could smother her or push enough drugs into her veins to make her heart stop. When he got to her hideout, he could toss her over the side of the fan blade. She would never even know what was happening until it was too late, if she knew at all. He could, and probably should kill her, but when he looked down at the blue hair that framed her face and the almost peaceful look as she slept, he knew he would never be able to do it. She was his weakness.

When he crawled through the narrow entrance to the hideout, his eyes widened as he took in the colorful, morbid decor. She had certainly left her mark on the place, even more so than the last time he had been there. Now, colorful graffiti covered almost every surface. There was a large mirror over her desk, the glass shattered from what was undoubtedly a bullet hole right in the center— right where Jinx's head would've been in her reflection.

He shook his head, not wanting to think too deeply about whatever had happened with the mirror. Instead, he dragged Jinx over to the couch, gently laying her down on the cushions.

His eyes caught on an eerie, doll-like figure on the opposite end of the couch. He glanced over, and his skin crawled as he realized who the effigy was meant to resemble: Mylo. A cruel, creepy face was scrawled onto the figure, and the dead giveaway for who it was meant to be was the spiky hair. His stomach churned as he stared at the figure, unsure of what to think of it.

Beside it, there were two more objects: a smaller doll with goggles, and a stuffed bunny. He knew exactly who those items were meant to represent. He remembered how Vi had given the bunny to Powder the same day their lives went to shit. He also knew those goggle all too well— Claggor. There was still blood dried to the edges of the goggles, and Ekko felt like he might puke.

It was all so incredibly morbid. He wanted to shake her awake and demand answers for what this insanity was, but he knew she was dead to the world until the alcohol worked it's way out of her system.

He wondered if this was her way of coping. He had seen her whisper to herself and seemingly look at things that nobody else could see. Was she seeing her dead family?

For now, he brushed the thoughts aside and focused on treating her wounds. The cuts and bruises were easy. None of them required stitches, and thankfully, he found a basic first aid kit tucked away near her desk. There wasn't much in it, but what little there was would suffice. He dabbed her injuries with disinfectant and carefully placed bandages over her wounds. Based on her slightly labored breaths, he suspected that her ribs were bruised, so he did his best to adjust her so she would be slightly more comfortable whenever she eventually came to.

When he was done, he let his eyes linger on her face for longer than he should've. She was beautiful, that was no secret. He hated that he thought it, but it was true. He had thought she was beautiful even when they were scrawny, awkward kids. Now, though, she had grown into her body as she had the lethal grace of a predatory cat.

He pried his eyes away from her sleeping form and glanced down at the scribbles beneath his feet. He wondered if there was any rhyme or reason to the nonsense. Gradually, he was able to make out some of the words, and his heart sank.

Hurts.

Stop.

Too loud.

They're gone.

Leave.

Left me.

Powder. Jinx. Jinx. Jinx.

It made it hard to hate her when he was getting a glimpse into the darkness of her mind. He had seen the signs of her failing sanity even all those years ago. Hell, he remembered overhearing Vander tell Benzo that he was concerned about Powder's emotional outbursts and days of sudden distance. He never liked thinking that something was wrong with her, but clearly, whatever was happening in her mind had only been made worse by what happened.

Now, it seemed like what little of her sanity that remained had slipped away, and all that was left was Silco's trigger happy doll. Truthfully, the fact he was still alive was a miracle. Would that change if Silco ever caught on? If Silco told her to pull the trigger on him, would she? It wasn't a question he wanted the answer to.

He watched the steady rise and fall of her chest, savoring the rare moment of peace in her presence. He had no doubt that the next time he encountered her there would be a gun held to his head, but she always seemed to miss her shots, at least when it came to him.

If he could stay, he would. Even after everything that had happened, he still yearned for the girl that had once been his best friend. He knew she was gone, though. Jinx wasn't Powder, she had made that very clear. Part of him didn't care, though. He just missed her.

He wished she was awake— wished that they could share just one peaceful moment with each other. All he could do, though, was savor the brief moment he had to admire her before she was ripped away from him, right back into Silco's claws. If there was one thing he wished he could do, it would be to turn back time, or to freeze a moment so that he and Jinx were the only thing that mattered. Maybe then he'd be able to get through to her. He knew there was no point in indulging in his wishful thinking.

Finally, he dragged himself away from her, turning his back, refusing to look back. He knew if he looked back at her again it would make things that much harder. Instead, he focused his gaze on her desk, briefly scanning over all the blueprints for the monstrous weapons that would no doubt be used against the Firelights one day. He sighed, leaving them untouched.

He was about to walk away when the glint of metal caught his attention. He almost didn't believe it when he saw it. Surely, she hadn't kept it all these years. She didn't care, did she? There was no doubting what it was, though. The tiny metal bug, smushed to pieces with chemtech still staining it's brass body. He didn't know why she had kept it, but she had.

Ekko couldn't help himself. It would only take a few minutes.

His hands moved quickly as he put the broken pieces back together, soldering the broken metal, and adding a new chemtech vial to generate the bug's iconic light. In total, it took maybe five minutes.

When it was done, he gently placed the fixed Firelight toy back onto her desk, tucking it into the corner where he had found it's broken pieces. Now, it was time to go. The longer he stayed, the more danger he put himself in.

She would be safe there. She would sleep off the alcohol, though, he could only imagine the brutal hangover she would have in the morning. He supposed it was a natural consequence for her actions.

The sound of his boots echoed as he walked across the metal fan blades toward the exit, not daring to look back. If he turned around, he knew he would run right back to her side. He kept his head down, and ignored the painful ache in his chest.

Maybe in another life. Not this one, though.

With a solemn sigh, Ekko walked away, climbing toward the faint light that reached through the crevices of the cave. He stopped, one last time, looking back into the workshop, grateful that now she was out of his sight.

"Happy birthday, Jinx," Ekko whispered as he slipped out of the cave, leaving her alone in the darkness, knowing that tomorrow they would be enemies once more.

Chapter Text

Well, she was another year older. Another year that she never should've made it to.

Time was something Jinx thought about a lot these days. The people she loved never had enough of it, and she had far too much. Not only had she been dragged back from death's edge by having chemical poison pumped into her veins, time itself had been shattered over and over again to save her.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Boy Savior.

She wished he would've just let her go.

Jinx didn't regret being able to save Vi. That was one of the few good things she was able to do in her life, one of the first times she hadn't cursed everything she touched. In what should've been her final moments, she managed to save her beloved big sister.

She was never supposed to wake up in the vents, but she did, and she ran as far away as she could. It wasn't because she didn't love and miss Vi and Ekko, in fact, her body ached with how much she missed them, but it was the only way she knew to protect them. She couldn't curse them if she was believed to be dead and an ocean away.

At first, there was a certain thrill to her travels. She was almost excited to see new lands of Runterra. Her entire life had been spent in the fissures of Zaun, and she had never really thought she'd have the luxury to see the rest of the world. Her spirits were quickly crushed the moment she stepped foot in Bilgewater, though.

Zaun was a place of crime and depravity, especially during it's worst years. Children were forced into the mines, people starved to death on the streets, sleazy men with prying eyes watched for prey. She knew how to handle herself, but nothing could've prepared her for Bilgewater.

At least, in Zaun, there were good people to make up for the bad. Zaunites were loyal and community was a critical part of their culture. Loyalty and community were foreign concepts in Bilgewater. It was a dog eat dog world, and if she dared to let her guard down for even a second, she would end up with a knife to her throat, or a wandering hand reaching for any inch of bare skin.

She didn't last long in Bilgewater.

Her whole life had been spent in survival mode, and she was too exhausted to keep fighting for every moment of life. She was so tired of fighting, period. All of her weapons had been destroyed in the war, and truthfully, she had hoped she could go without weapons for a bit, but walking around unarmed was a death sentence in Bilgewater.

The day she had to shoot someone to protect herself from the jagged butcher knife he had aimed at her throat was the day she hopped aboard another airship, ready to get far, far away from the scent of rotting fish and thick, humid air.

Ionia had been her next stop.

When she crept off the airship, she had been certain she was dead or hallucinating. Never had she seen a place so beautiful before, a place relatively untainted by humanity. She had arrived in a small village near a river so clear it looked crystalline. Colorful trees spanned as far as her eyes could see, making her chest ache.

As beautiful as they were, none compared to Ekko's tree.

The air was the strangest part. The air was so pure and sweet, it almost felt like breathing in candy. Everything seemed so peaceful. She had hoped that maybe, she had finally escaped the violence and would get the chance to rest.

Things were almost too peaceful, though. It left her paranoid, and her hallucinations got worse and worse. She would hear whispers in the dark and see shadows in the corner of her vision at all hours of the day. Then, rumors spread that the Noxians were coming, and Jinx knew she had to leave. She couldn't handle another war, so like a coward, she left.

It hadn't been part of her plan to end up back in Zaun. When she left, she had planned to never return, but her heart yearned to go home. As dark and complicated as her past was, she longed for familiarity, especially as she questioned the purpose of her life. She had no real reason to live. In the months she had been gone, she hadn't built a new, satisfying life. Instead, she aimlessly wandered Runeterra, hoping to find something that filled the growing void inside of her. Nothing did, though.

She still had nightmares, she still heard the voices, she still missed her family. No matter where she was, those things wouldn't change. No matter where she was, she would still be a curse— a jinx. All she had left to do was rewrite her story by giving it an end. She had to. There was no reason for her to keep going.

So many birthdays had passed her by, years that she knew she didn't deserve, and one truth had always stuck with her. No matter how old she was, or what name she went by, she would always be a jinx— an inescapbale curse to the people she loves. Leaving Zaun hadn't been enough. Maybe it had protected Vi and Ekko from her, but it had done nothing except prolong her own misery. There was nothing left for her— nothing to build, nothing to ruin, no sweet, wide-eyed little girl to take care of. Her existence was meaningless. That's why she needed to break the curse, and what better time than the very day she was brought into this wretched world?

Had her mother known she would be a curse when she was born? Had she ruined their lives just by coming into existence? She couldn't remember them well enough to know, but she remembered the way Vi had cried and refused to speak for weeks after they died. She remembered that all of the anger that had once lived in Vi was because of them. What would their parents think of them now?

One daughter had put on the uniform of the same people that had killed them, and the other was a lunatic murderer. At least Vi was trying to be heroic. As much as the image of Vi with that horrible mask on her face still haunted her, really, it had been her fault. Vi had been after her because of what she had done, so could she really blame Vi, when it was yet another consequence of her own actions?

When Jinx snuck off the airship and climbed her way down to Zaun, she was unsettled by how quiet everything was. Normally, Zaun was bustling with nightlife. Clubs and bars blasted loud music, people crowded the streets trying to find the best spot to burn off some steam, but now, it was almost silent. She supposed that's what happened when a good chunk of the population was killed in battle or turned into a possessed metal puppet.

Her stomach churned with memories of the war. She refused to let herself remember because if she thought about the war, then it inevitably led to thoughts of her.

As it was, she still saw flashes of those owlish amber eyes everywhere she went. The first few times she had chased after them, foolish and desperate enough to believe her mind's tricks. Now, she knew better.

She knew going home would make the hallucinations worse. She had prepared herself for that as best as she could. There was so much that still reminded her of Isha, Ekko, and Vi. All of the memories jumbled in her mind, making her head pound. Sometimes, she wished she could just erase it all, but that wouldn't change anything. She would still be a ghost wandering aimlessly through life. It was better to let go and move on.

There weren't many places left for her to go. All the places she had once called home were gone. The house she was born in was nothing more than a crumbling stone surrounded by ashes and tragedy. The thought of going back to that horrible place made her mind spin with terror. She couldn't face what had happened there. She couldn't relive Isha's death again.

The Last Drop was gone now, too. Courtesy of her own impulsive choices. Sometimes, she wished she had let herself burn with all the memories. Then, Ekko wouldn't have found her. She would already be at peace.

So many times, she should've died, yet something always prevented her from going. It felt like a cruel joke from the gods. How long would they make her suffer before she could finally be free?

There was only one place left— the rooftop. She still remembered all the times Vi had taken her up there when they were kids, and she and Ekko had snuck up there to play on more occasions than she could remember. He told her about Powder… her other, better self. She had been the one to pry for details, and for the sake of trust and honesty, he had given her the answers she sought. She knew about his feelings, and she knew about the kiss.

She wasn't Powder anymore, though. She would never be want he needed, wanted, or deserved. It was nice to know that in another life things were different, though.

It wasn't a perfect reality, she wasn't even sure she could call it good knowing that Vi wasn't there, but it was good to hear that there was a good version of her out there. It juat wasn't her. It wouldn't ever be her. No matter how much Vi and Ekko preached about rewriting her story, she knew that she had done far too much bad for that to be an option for her anymore.

She had tried to take Silco's advice and walk away to break the cycle, but as long as she was alive, the cycle would find a way to keep turning.

As she walked through a narrow alley, her eyes caught on a flash of color, and her heart dropped to her feet as she realized where she was. Two, parallel lines of bright pink and blue paint were scrawled across the brick. The pink line was higher than the blue and went on for longer, all by itself. Just like her.

Tears burned Jinx's eyes as she reached out a shaking hand, tracing her fingers along Isha's line of paint, following in the ghost of the girl's footsteps. When she reached the end of the blue paint, her shoulders shook as she sobbed and crumpled to the ground.

She remembered that day so well. She could still hear Isha's bright laughter echoing in her ears, like the sound had been trapped in the alley to torment her. It wasn't fair. It should've been her. Isha was just a little kid, and now, she was dead.

How was it fair that Jinx got to live to see another, stupid birthday, but Isha never even got the chance to turn eight years old?

Time was a pointless measure to Jinx as she leaned against the wall, tears falling endlessly down her face. She wished she could turn back time far enough to bring Isha back. There wasn't much that Jinx wouldn't sacrifice in order to bring the little girl back to her. Things didn't work like that, though, so they best she could do was go to her.

"Soon," Jinx whispered to herself, her vision clearing enough to make sense of her surroundings. She lifted her gaze to the familiar rooftop in the distance.

"I'll see you soon, little bug," she affirmed as she pushed herself off the ground and forced her feet to move.

This time, she didn't have any guns or bombs to finish the job. She had to hope that the fall from the rooftop would be enough to shatter her bones and turn her brain to mush.

Her mind was blank as she dragged herself toward the building and clumsily climbed up the ladder. She could almost imagine Vi behind her, playfully teasing her, only to remind her that she was stronger than she knew and smarter than anyone Vi had ever met. Jinx knew that was wrong, though. Ekko was far better, stronger, and smarter than she would ever be.

Despite her certainty that leaving was better for them, she still felt the gnawing guilt when she thought to much about her departure. She knew grief so well, and she knew that it was far from a friendly feeling. She hadn't meant to push that onto them, but at least it meant they were alive.

She pulled herself onto the rooftop, and froze as she heard the sound of soft voices.

That wasn't part of the plan. Nobody was supposed to be there.

Her stomach churned with apprehension. Vi and Ekko were the only ones that would know the significance of the rooftop, and she knew better than to think that they had forgotten her birthday. If anything, her absence had probably been more of a reminder of the dreaded day. She didn't have to look to know that it was them.

She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists at her side, standing unnervingly still, trying to avoid making any noise that would draw attention to her. They couldn't see her. If they saw her, her plan would unravel. As it was, her plan was rapidly unraveling. She didn't know what to do.

The number one thing she knew she shouldn't do was peek around the corner to look at them. If she saw them, she wasn't sure she would be able to walk away again. Leaving had been so easy because she hadn't been there to see them. She had left knowing that she had saved Vi and that her Boy Savior had lived up to his nickname and saved the world. They didn't need her, at least that's what she told herself over and over again when the guilt crept in.

Facing them, though, would be a different story. She had never been good about facing the consequences of her actions, she much preferred to run from them for as long as she could. Usually, she knew the consequences would be nothing but bad. That wasn't the case this time. Sure, they might be pissed at her for leaving without a word, and she would have to witness just how much grief her presumed death had caused them, but for a brief moment, she would get the chance to have a family again. She had no doubt that the moment they saw her she would be engulfed in a tight hug. After months of loneliness and solitude, the thought was almost intoxicating.

She couldn't.

Yet, when she turned to leave, she made no particular effort to stay quiet. In fact, she purposely kicked some rocks, making sure they clattered as they hit the wall. She held her breath, still refusing to look, but bracing herself for the familiar voices.

Vi and Ekko turned at the sound of footsteps behind them. Vi's brows furrowed with confusion. She expected it to be Caitlyn, though she thought it was a little strange. Usually, Caitlyn knew to give her some space when she was grieving Jinx. It was an unspoken rule that the rooftop was for her and Ekko. Some nights, they would go their on their own to remember their beloved blue-haired menace, and other days, they would plan to go together, and Vi would bring Jinx's beloved cup and straw with her favorite flavor of juice. When they left, she'd dump it over the side of the rooftop and take the cup with her for safe-keeping, but she liked to imagine that her sister's ghost was there with them, teasing them as she happily sipped on her drink.

Needless to say, Vi was not expecting to see painfully familiar blue hair and magenta eyes fixed firmly on the ground below when she turned around. For a moment, the world seemed to freeze, as if it was holding its breath to see what would happen next.

Was this even real? It wouldn't be the first time Vi had imagined glimpses of her sister, but it was the first time she had seen her so clearly. She turned to glance at Ekko, who, much to her relief, looked just as haunted as she felt. That was all the proof that Vi needed to know that this was real. Ekko was seeing her too. Real or a ghost, Vi didn't care, her sister was there, and she wasn't going to risk losing her again.

"Jinx?" she called as she scrambled to her feet, rushing toward her sister.

Tears burned Jinx's eyes as she heard Vi's voice, and it took every bit of her energy not to crumble.

"Vi," she answered softly, finally allowing herself to look at her big sister with solemn eyes.

She didn't even get a chance to breathe before Vi tackled her, pulling her in tight, and wrapping her arms around her body so she couldn't move. Vi wouldn't let her sister get away again.

"Are you real?" Vi questioned, blurting the words out, needing the confirmation that her fears weren't true. As real as Jinx felt, it was fair enough to question her own sanity after everything they had been through. It felt too good to be true. Time after time, she had been struck with tragedy, why would things be any different now? Not to mention, how was Jinx alive? She had watched her sister fall and seen the terrible explosion. She couldn't fathom how anyone had survived that. The biggest question, though, was that if Jinx really was alive, where had she been for all those months?

Months of tears and drowning her sorrows in liquor. Months of reliving that moment over and over again in her nightmares. Months of grief so heavy she felt like she would suffocate. All that time, she had believed her sister was dead, but here she was, wrapped in her arms like she had never left.

Vi's question made Jinx's heart ache. She remembered asking Vi the same thing when they first found each other again. How different would their lives be now if she had just listened to Vi that night? Would she have met Isha? Would Isha still be alive? Would Silco still be alive? Would they have avoided the war? There were so many what ifs, it made her mind spin. It was so easy to slip back into the belief that everything was her fault. Her stupid, paranoia-driven actions had been a catalyst for so much pain and suffering. She deserved to die.

That plan wasn't an option, now, though. Not with Vi and Ekko there.

"Some days, I'm not sure," Jinx finally answered Vi, her voice dull and quiet.

She allowed herself to fully melt into Vi's embrace, practically collapsing against her sister as she gave into the bone-deep exhaustion. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she could feel Vi's tears dripping onto her head. She was so tired; so, so tired.

Ekko stood off to the side, his eyes still wide as he tried to process the scene in front of him. She was alive. Truthfully, it shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did. He had thought that for sure she was dead after the bridge, but she managed to survive. Surviving despite the odds being stacked against her was kind of Jinx's thing. Maybe it wasn't her survival that surpised him, but the fact that she had come back.

He didn't know how to feel. Most of him was relieved, so unbelievably relieved. He thought that he had lost her for good, but there she was. She was alive. She was home. There was another piece of him, though, that was so incredibly pissed. He had been mourning her for months. How many times had he painted her face, desperate to remember every detail of her before she started to fade from his memory? How many times had he and Vi met on this very rooftop to recall as many memories as they could to keep her memory alive?

All of that grief and trying to learn how to cope and adjust to a life without her in it, just for her to have been alive all along. It made him want to punch her. The only problem was he had no doubt that Vi would punch him right back, and that was not something he particularly felt like experiencing tonight.

Instead, he let his fists ball at his side, and he wisely bit his cheek, keeping his mouth shut until he found the right words to say.

From her warm spot in Vi's arms, Jinx lifted her head to look over Vi's shoulder at Ekko. He seemed to be avoiding eye contact just as much as she had been. She knew him well enough to know exactly what he was thinking even without a single direct glance or spoken word. She saw his clenched fists and tight jaw, she knew he was mad, and she couldn't blame him. Wouldn't she be mad if the roles were reversed? Hadn't she been mad at Vi for leaving her?

Oh. She was such a hypocrite.

She didn't deserve them. Ekko knew it. Vi would realize it soon enough, intentionally or not, Jinx would make sure of it. She tried to pull away from Vi, the embrace suddenly shifting from comfort and affection to suffocating.

Vi's brows furrowed with concern as she looked at her sister, following her gaze over to Ekko. That was a situation she didn't know how to fix. Just like her sister, Vi could read Ekko like a book, they were probably two of the only people that knew how to read him that well, and she could see the resentment on his face. She couldn't blame him. He was undeniably having some of the same thoughts as her. If she wanted to be angry, there was plenty of pent up frustration that boiled in her veins, but she knew all that would do was push Jinx away. For now, all that mattered was that Jinx was alive, and she had come home.

She stepped back, giving Ekko and her sister some space to work things out. She shot Ekko a look of subtle warning, though. He was allowed to be mad, but he needed to watch his words. They both knew how fragile and volatile Jinx could be. The last thing Vi wanted was to lose her sister again. She knew that if Jinx disappeared again, it would be for good. The fact she had come back at all was a miracle.

With a heavy sigh, Ekko finally forced himself to look Jinx in the eyes. He almost wished he hadn't. Her pink eyes were dull and almost vacant, as if she was just a shell of the vibrant girl he knew lived inside. He knew that look. That look had haunted his dreams for months. Over and over again, she had looked at him with those eyes as she pulled the pin on the bomb, and he watched her die.

As fast as it had come, his anger melted away.

It made sense now. She wasn't there for some surprise reunion. She wasn't there for them at all.

"You aren't here for us," Ekko said, his words cutting straight through her, making her flinch.

"No," she whispered, her quick glance toward the edge giving away her true intentions.

Vi's eyebrows furrowed as Jinx and Ekko seemingly had a silent conversation. She knew there were pieces of their time together before the war that Ekko hadn't told her about, but now it felt like she was missing a crucial piece of information.

"What are you talking about?" Vi asked, her eyes darting between Ekko and Jinx.

"You want to tell her, or should I?" Ekko pressed, his eyebrow raised. He wasn't angry anymore, those hungry flames had fizzled away, drowned by the melancholy of her eyes. He was, however, frustrated that after so much effort to save her, they were right back where they started. He had saved her, and then by some miracle, she had survived the war, and now, she was there to throw it all away, and they were nothing more than a dent in her plan.

Tears spilled from Jinx's eyes, and she folded her arms across her chest, trying to comfort herself and calm her racing heart. Vi didn't know. She didn't know about the bridge, she didn't really know what was supposed to happen at Janna's temple, and she didn't know about how Ekko had found her. Ekko did. Ekko had seen all but one of her attempts to die. He had been there almost every time. He knew her far too well, and she hated it.

"Jinx?" Vi called, her voice cracking with apprehension.

Jinx shook her head. What was she supposed to say? Did it even matter? It's not like she could go through with it now.

"She was here to kill herself," Ekko said bluntly. He hadn't told Vi about what had happened when he first found Jinx, he figured that would only cause her more distress considering how things had ended. Even now, he wouldn't elaborate on the details, but Vi needed to know. Even now that she was with them, there was little to stop her from disappearing and finsihing the job the second they turned their backs. If anyone was going to get through Jinx's stubborn mind, it was Vi. He had done what he could, and it had been enough at that time, but now, she needed her sister. Even then, Vi had been her reason to keep going and join the fight.

Vi's eyes widened in horror as she processed Ekko's words. It made perfect sense, though. She slowly shifted her gaze to Jinx, trying to dissect whatever her sister was thinking, but sometime in their time apart, it seemed that Jinx had perfected that empty mask she liked to hide behind. That, or she really had lost touch with her feelings. The thought terrified Vi. Would she be able to pull Jinx away from the edge? Would she be able to catch her if she fell again?

I'm glad it's you. Had to be you.

The words played in her mind, and the pieces clicked into place. All those empty, solemn stares and senseless fights— the anger, betrayal, and violence. She hadn't thought about it until now. Jinx had rigged that temple from floor to ceiling with lethal traps and bombs. Not to mention, her sister had always been a damn near perfect shot, yet Vi had walked out of that fight with nothing but a few scrapes and bruises, most of which were from getting blown away in the blast of the Grey. Jinx had every opportunity to kill her that day, and she hadn't. Instead, she had lain defeated on a stone altar as Vi had prepared to bash her skull in.

Vi wanted to puke.

How hadn't she realized what it was before? All of that fighting and luring them into the tunnels had never been about killing her, it had been bait to get her to kill Jinx. Even worse, she had almost done it.

"The temple…" Vi muttered, watching carefully as Jinx flinched and turned away.

All the paintings covering the pillars, telling the stories of their lives, made so much more sense. It hadn't just been a cruel reminder of everything they had been through, it had been a funeral. Jinx had planned her own funeral. Everything in those tunnels had been orchestrated to lead to her sister's death at her hands.

"Why?" Vi's voice broke. It was the only thing she could think to say. She could've come up with plenty of answers, it's not like she hadn't thought about it, especially after believing that Jinx was dead. Still, though, she needed to hear what Jinx was thinking. She needed to know how to save Jinx from herself.

Jinx froze at Vi's words, the tone eerily familiar, and for a moment she could swear they were surrounded by flames and destruction— her own doing.

Why? Why did you do this?

She shook her head and dug her nails into the palm of her hand, trying to ground herself and stay focused. She couldn't fall down the rabbit hole of memories right now. Truthfully, she wasn't sure she'd ever find her way back out if she let herself slip.

"Does it matter? I was supposed to be dead a long time ago," she responded, refusing to meet her sister's eyes. This was all wrong— a mistake. They weren't supposed to be here, and she should've left without letting herself be spotted. She had known there would be consequences, and now, her panicked mind was searching for any way out.

"Yes, it matters!" Vi shouted in exasperation, silently scolding herself as she saw the way Jinx seemed to cower from her voice. Right. She should've known that yelling wouldn't go well. She sighed, taking a deep breath to try to calm herself down.

"Jinx, do you have any idea how much we missed you?" Vi sighed, lowering her voice. She searched for the words to make her sister understand just how devastated she had been. She knew she was supposed to be the strong one, but just for this time, she needed Jinx to know just how scared she was of losing her, and how much losing her had nearly broken her.

"You're the only reason I'm still alive. I only fought to stay alive in Stillwater because I needed to get back to you. Throughout everything, all I wanted was my little sister back, and then, when I finally think things might work out, I lost you again. You know what, I don't need to know why because I get it. In those months you were gone, I spent more nights than I remember sitting on this ledge, drunk, and wishing I would just fall off because at least it would mean I could see you and Vander again," Vi's voice broke as she confessed all the thoughts she had kept locked inside her head, things she hadn't even dared to tell Ekko or Cait. It was stuff she never would've admitted otherwise, but Jinx to know that she needed her. She wasn't a curse. She loved her little sister more than words could ever describe.

Jinx stared at Vi, her gaze nervously shifting toward the edge as if she was afraid Vi would decide to follow through with it, just to teach her a lesson. She choked on her sobs, unsure of how to respond to Vi's confession. She never wanted Vi to feel like this. She just wanted them to be safe.

"Vi, all I do is ruin everything," she sobbed, gasping for breath in between her cries.

"That's not true," Vi answered without hesitation, as she pulled her little sister close, letting Jinx lean heavily against her chest as she cried.

"Isha and Vander—" Jinx started, and Vi immediately cut her off.

"Weren't your fault," Vi stated firmly, finishing the sentence before Jinx could. If there was one set of words Vi could take back, it was the moment she said that damning name. Back then, she had no way of knowing how all of this would end. Amidst her fear and anger, the words had slipped out. She had needed someone to blame, and Powder had been sitting right there, so proud that one of her bombs had actually worked. She had torn Powder apart, creating a monster in her wake, and then she had unintentionally torn the monster apart too, leaving behind a hollow shell of a girl that wore her sister's face.

Jinx forced her tears to stop falling as she leaned against Vi. For a moment, she let herself believe Vi. She tried to indulge in a brief moment without the heavy weight of guilt on her shoulders.

"You're not a jinx. You never were. Regardless of what name you decide to go by, you're my little sister, and I will never stop loving you," Vi whispered as she cradled Jinx's face, making her sister look at her.

"I love you, too," Jinx responded as she burrowed her face in Vi's shoulder, savoring the faint smell of axle grease— a scent that had always meant home.

When Jinx was finally released from Vi's embrace, she turned back toward Ekko.

"Hey, Boy Savior," she croaked, her voice raw and sore from so much crying.

"Hey, Trouble," Ekko answered, his eyes softer as he studied her face.

There was a moment of silence and stillness, neither of them moved, uncertain of what came next. Finally, Ekko couldn't hold himself back anymore. He surged forward and pulled her into his arms. She grunted at the sudden impact, but let herself melt into his arms, just as she had with Vi.

The ache of loneliness that had been devouring her from the inside out since she left had finally been soothed. She wasn't alone anymore.

Ekko wondered if she knew what today was. Had that been why she had chosen today? The cruel irony certainly seemed like something Jinx would think of. It was her first birthday since they were kids that he could actually be with her without any danger or violence. The last time he had seen her on her birthday was when he had found her drunk out of her mind by that burning building. Now, he realized just how long Jinx had been trying to escape the world. How much of her chaos and violence had actually been bait to get someone to kill her? Had that been what the bridge was from the start?

It didn't matter, at least for right now. She was safe. She was alive.

Jinx stayed in Ekko's arms, listening to the sound of his heart. Ekko's embrace was different from Vi's. He made her cheeks flush with warmth, and her heart beat a little faster as butterflies swarmed her stomach. It was stupid. She wasn't some giddy little girl, yet sometimes, he made her feel like one.

Ekko loosened his hold on her, reaching for his pocket. His hand wrapped around the pendant and cord he had tucked away— a necklace. He hadn't thought he would ever get to give it to her, but he had made it while he hadn't been able to sleep and had been stuck thinking about her.

"Close your eyes," Ekko said closing his fist around the necklace, keeping it out of her sight.

"Why?" Jinx questioned, cocking her head as her eyes focused on his closed fist.

"Just trust me and close your eyes," Ekko sighed in exasperation.

Reluctantly, Jinx obeyed. She squeezed her eyes shut, and against her better judgement, stood still as Ekko wrapped his arms around her and fastened a cord around her neck. She reached up to feel the leather cord of the necklace, and then she tried to make sense of whatever the pendant was. Her finger brushed over a delicate metal wing, and even without opening her eyes, she knew exactly what it was.

"Happy birthday, Jinx," Ekko said when she finally did open her eyes.

She stared at the pendant, an almost identical replica of the little toy he had made for her all those years ago.

"You were the one that fixed it," she muttered as she glanced back at him, remembering her confusion when she had found the artifact that had once been crushed to pieces suddenly whole again. That had been shortly after her eighteenth birthday, a regrettable one, and one she would be happy to never repeat. She hadn't dared to touch alcohol again after that disaster of a night. She never had figured out how she had gotten home that night, but now she knew. It was always her boy savior.

Ekko shrugged and provided no further comment. He remembered that night all too well, but it was a time better left in their memories.

"Well, I don't have any fancy gifts to compete with considering as of about twenty minutes ago I didn't know you were alive, but I do have your favorite juice," Vi said, offering Jinx her colorful cup, with her always requested straw.

Jinx stared at the cup like it was a ghost. She hadn't taken it from The Last Drop before she burned it down, how did Vi have it now?

"How…?" Jinx mumbled in confusion.

"Dug it out of the rubble. Turns out it's just as resilient as you are," Vi snorted, playfully nudging her sister.

Jinx rolled her eyes, but she took the cup from Vi and hesitantly sipped on the delightfully sugary juice. Oh, it was just as good as she remembered. She hadn't realized just how much she had missed even the small things. Her favorite juice, Jericho's deliciously greasy food, the sight of firelights flickering in the distance, the sight of artwork and graffiti on every alleyway. She missed home.

Vi sat on the edge of the rooftop, and Jinx sat down next to her, still sipping on her drink as she leaned her head on Vi's shoulder.

"You know, the last time we were up here together you told me that one day this city was gonna respect us," Jinx mused as she looked at the twinkling lights of the city below them. They could've never imagined how things would play out, but Vi's words hadn't been entirely wrong.

"I also told you that you were stronger than you think," Vi chimed glancing at Jinx.

"Yeah, you did," Jinx sighed. Vi hadn't really been wrong about that either, however for far too long, Jinx had tried to find her strength through violence. That's what Silco had taught her, after all. Fear made you powerful. She had learned that people wouldn't hurt her if they cowered from her when she walked by. She didn't need Vi's brute strength when she had a gun on her hip. Now, though, she was pretty sure she would cower from the sight of a gun. She was tired of fighting, tired of violence, tired of pretending to be strong.

"I'm tired of trying to be strong," Jinx whispered, mostly to herself, though she knew Vi and Ekko heard her.

"You don't have to be strong with us, Jinx," Ekko replied. He let his hand wander closer to her, waiting to see if she would take it. He wouldn't pressure her, but he was there if she wanted him.

Hesitantly, Jinx shifted her pinky closer, and she let their hands brush together. He took the invitation, and laced their fingers together, gently squeezing her hand. She kept her head against Vi's shoulder and she set her cup aside as her body grew heavy from exhaustion. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten real sleep. She was always on edge, her brain stuck in survival mode, ready to fight or flee. Now, though, nestled between Ekko and Vi, she could let her walls and guard crumble to the ground. She could let herself rest, even if only for a moment.

Vi shifted, pulling Jinx closer, and making space for Ekko to join them. He was a part of their family, too, after all. A little brother to her, and something very different to her sister, though she would let them work that out on their own. For now, she held out her arm, beckoning him to join them. She wrapped one arm tighter around Jinx as her sister's head lolled against her chest and she struggled to keep her eyes open. Any moment now, Jinx would be out, and Vi knew her sister needed the sleep. There was no telling where Jinx had been or what she had been through, but that was a conversation for another day.

She wrapped her other arm around Ekko as he huddled closer to them, settling into the embrace.

"Happy birthday, sis," Vi whispered as Jinx's eyes finally fluttered closed and her breathing evened out.

Jinx hadn't planned to survive the day, but once again, the universe had a funny way of refusing to let her die. For once, though it didn't feel like the gods were mocking her. She had a family again, no matter how small and broken it now was, at least she wasn't alone. It was the best birthday present she could ask for.