Archive of Our Own

"Hey, Hikaru,

Can you meet me at the school rooftop after classes today? I have something I'd like to tell you.

Please be there. I'll wait."

...

"Actually, I have liked you for a really long time. I couldn't express my feelings until now, but I finally have the will to do so.

Please accept this feeling from the bottom of my heart.

I don't have much to offer, but I hope I can win your heart once. I'll try to be someone worthy of you.

I really like you, a lot. I hope you will give me a chance.

I want us to be something more than just friends, even though that sounds shady, but I hope you will give me an answer.

I'll be waiting.

—Yoshiki."

The midnight covers the Tsujinaka house, everyone has already gone to sleep. Only the lamp on Yoshiki's desk is glowing faintly, the pale light revealing him slumped on the table, blankly staring at the two notes he just wrote. He buries his head in his arms, trying to figure out what all this means to him. Was it just a rash thought that slipped through his mind? The darkness blankets him, along with all these mixed feelings and emotions eating him alive. He wishes there were an exit from these never-ending thoughts.

The weight of it all makes him feel like he's about to collapse. He taps the pen on the paper notes, wondering what he should do with his words. He has crumpled a lot of so-called confession letters before, those he didn't have the will to give out to Hikaru. He has been thinking about it numerous times, about what would have happened if he had confessed, what they could have done together, or, how Hikaru would have hated and disgusted him.

- "What was I thinking, really..." he sighs. "Why can't I stop feeling this way for him? It disgusts me so much even..."

"Heh." he laughs it off with a bitter and reluctant smile, brushing off all of his emotions once again. Pulls on the hollow mask that he always wears to hide himself.

"Maybe I'm just having wild thoughts today," an old excuse he keeps using. He knows he can’t keep gaslighting himself into believing he should never let others see his true self. But would that really help?

Click. As the sharp sound from the ballpoint pen cut through the quiet night, Yoshiki tries to move his exhausted body to sit up. He wants to scribble all over these notes and throw them away, yet something lingers in his ears.

"Oh? Don't tell me yer in love with me or sum? Haha, gross!"

The unbidden echo of Hikaru’s voice kicked from the memory of a joke they had some time ago. He stiffens, his hands trembling. Nothing stops him from tearing those notes apart, just like what he did with his feelings, except there's an unknown weight in his heart.

- "Should I... really do it..." he asks himself.

Yet, there won't be an answer, he knows that too well. He leans back, eyes on the ceiling, his desperation tightening across his face.

He covers his face with his hands shamefully, knowing that the future of him and Hikaru may not turn out like what he has always dreamed about if he confesses, but bottling up inside his heart is also like torture. Another sigh slipped out of him.

He reaches out his right arm toward the ceiling, like he's pursuing something bright, something dazzling, like a sun.

- "Hikaru..."

Hikaru, the unreachable boy with a bright smile no one can see through, a closed book. His brightness is like a dazzling sunflower under the clear sky with lots of sun. Like the youth Yoshiki wants to reach once, yet feels too far away, is he even worthy? The love, care, and even the kindness of Hikaru? No way.

- "Why am I like this..." alone in the middle of the night with the emptiness deep down inside him, he really can't keep acting like nothing is happening. What’s the point of pretending he’s still just fine? Nothing can, or will, fulfill his heart.

- “Ugh… this is so horrible…”

“I shouldn’t…”

He takes a glance down at his phone on the desk, and grabs it in hesitation. The clock shows it’s 10:36 pm already, his pensive face looking at the time and thinking whether he should give it a try. He opens MINE and looks at the top conversation; of course, it's Hikaru. His fingers hesitate on the phone keyboard as the chat bubble opens.

"Hey, ya asleep yet?"

His right thumb hovers at the “send” button. Of course, Hikaru’d be asleep, who would even be awake at this hour? Yoshiki falters, even for something that normal, he can't even decide on his words? Pathetic.

- *sighs* "Forget it, what am I even doing…”

”…I should just go to sleep already.”

He forced himself up, dragging his tired body to the bed.

A thud comes out as he slams himself on the mattress, the heavy sound just like whatever is going on in his heart right now. This one-sided feeling, what can he do with it? Why is he even waiting for a response from someone so far out of his reach?

He curls himself in on this single bed as his world is falling apart in front of him. Hikaru is the only one that matters, but he hates the unreasonable weight crushing his heart. Why does it have to be for Hikaru? Why can’t he just want them to be friends? What’s the point of pushing their relationship into something else fragile enough? Lovers? Forget it, who would tolerate two boys loving each other even?

His phone glows in his hands, the draft message to Hikaru still left unsent with his will. He deletes all those words without hesitation, as easily as he brushes his feelings off. He slowly collapses as his phone fades into the dark room, with his vision starting to blur, leaving all these unspoken words and the cruel world behind.

Gasps. Yoshiki finds himself standing in the middle of nowhere, facing Hikaru in a blank white world. He has no clue where he is, and why Hikaru is also here.

- “…Hikaru?”

The atmosphere between them is heavy, thick with an unusual hatred feeling. Something is wrong, he knows that very well.

Still, Yoshiki quickly runs toward Hikaru. The anxiety on his face is apparent, but the only thing he worries about is him. Hikaru, just standing there with his fists clenched, said nothing. The harsh shadow almost covers his face, blending it with the deep void of darkness. Something is very off between them. This is weird, this is no good sign at all.

- “Hikaru, what are we doing-“ as he reaches his hand out to Hikaru’s shoulder-

Hikaru slaps it out before it even lands on him, his sharp eyes freak Yoshiki out.

- “Get yer hand off me, freak.”

The drip of water echoes, breaking the unusual silence of the space. The world between them seems to be frozen after those cold words came out from Hikaru.

- "...H-huh?" Yoshiki stumbles, he froze under Hikaru’s glare. But did something happen? Why does he sound so hatred?

The world grows heavier, slowly crushing Yoshiki's chest until it's hard for him to breathe.

- "Seriously, Yoshiki? Yer really have such feelings for me?"

"I can't believe yer that disgusting," Hikaru says as he frowns, his glare targets Yoshiki.

The uncanny feeling really chills down on Yoshiki's spine, he knows Hikaru might never say such a thing. But then what is this aching in his heart?

- "N-no! I have nothing to do-" Yoshiki trying desperately to give an excuse, though shouldn't him perfectly buried his musings already? How did he know? What did he know?

- "No, stop it."

"Stop trying to deny whatever yer had in mind, it doesn't help at all."

"Well, I'm sorry, but, honestly? Don’t come near me again, please.”

Hikaru slowly turns away, the rim light that highlights his silhouette finally reflects on his face, revealing an annoyed look with his eyes pinned on Yoshiki.

- "N-No! I'm sorry, this is all wrong! I really have nothing for yer, I swear!" Yoshiki breathes heavily, trying his best to convince Hikaru, but the stuttering obviously caught him red-handed. Would it get any better if he could successfully rip this burden apart? Absolutely, nothing.

- "Don't be sorry. *sighs* It’s just, I can't stand these feelings at all when it comes from a man, especially yer, out of all people."

"Why would someone even love their childhood friend?”

”That’s sick."

“I think we should end it here.”

Hikaru walks away with no turning back; his footsteps gradually get louder as the world around them begins to fall apart, surrounded by sounds of shattering glass.

Yoshiki's heart seems to be synchronized with each time a shatter kicks in. The aching makes him crumple his shirt chest, gripping it tightly. He has no strength left to keep going, still, Hikaru is the only matter to him, but this rejection? How could he handle it? Just like that, the sunflower he carefully preserved withering in the blink of an eye, along with his youth; tied to an inexplicable love for his friend, is gone forever.

Nothing is left for him as this summer passes by, this is all his fault. Everything is turning into ashes, along with the ground under him starting to crack.

"Pathetic, your crush rejected you and now he's disgusted. You could never get anything done.",

"Feelings for a man? And for him? Yikes. Know your place."

The unknown echoes linger in the space, yet they sound exactly like him. Hallucinations? Delusional? Does it matter? They say what has to be told, he needs to know his place. He needs to know where they stand, don't go overboard.

"Argh..!" his head hurts like crazy. He covers his ears with his hands, trying to escape from this reality, at least hoping the echoes will stop but it doesn't work. His vision warps with the static hissing through mind, his body is falling apart with the like-cicadas buzzing sound.

He falls to the cracking ground as his surroundings are a whole mess of chaos. The last bit of his strength yet he only cares about Hikaru, whatever is happening to him doesn’t matter anymore.

- “Hika..ru…” he tries to reach his arm out as the sight of Hikaru’s back starts to blur. His breath shortens-

Thud. He blacks out as a last resort to end this suffering.

Ẏ̵̰͇̾ͅo̵̙̩͛u̵̬͍̒̅͝’̶͚̻̒̈́̽r̷͇͐͜e̵̹̘̺̎̒͝ ̸̢͈̟̊̓̿d̷͔͋͒͝ȋ̸̡̤̲̎s̶͚̞͝ģ̷͙̹̊ǘ̸̺͑ṡ̵̲̯̝̒t̶̡̳̔͜i̴̡̱̻͑͠n̸͎̜͎̄̉͑ğ̸̭͜.̵̹͔̳̍͆̔

Gasps. Yoshiki finds himself exhausted, lying on the bed again, the alarm on his phone ringing at 6 a.m.

The sleep took him before he realized the phone rolled from his hand.

His AC is still on, yet he’s sweating all over; he's panting, trying to make sense of whatever he just had through. It’s just another morning of school days in this unbearable heat of July. Just keep acting normal, nothing happened, and will do, definitely.

His tired body leans against the bed, his head aches, still in panic of what just happened. Everything around him still feels dizzy.

“…Was that just a nightmare..?” he questions himself, it all was so, surreal. And way too realistic to the point it's fuzzy.

A sweat rolls down his forehead, then drops on his trembling hand, bringing him back to reality.

"...Forget it," he adjusts his badly wrinkled top, "I should be getting ready..."

Swish swish, he stares blankly at the bathroom sink, his thoughts drift away with the flowing water. Like the ever-flowing stream, his mind is just as chaotic.

His ears still buzzing with the echoes of Hikaru, he knows they are just his nightmare, but he starts to wonder if Hikaru himself would say that. He shamefully covers his face with his hands, sighs.

- “Really what is wrong with me…”

”…But, would he actually…”

His mom's call cuts through his thoughts.

- “Yoshiki, breakfast is ready. You should hurry up, ‘kay?”

Drip.

Rustle. The door opens, the dazzling sky of the morning reflects on him sitting on the steps, adjusting his shoes. He has to squint as it shines in his eyes, even his bangs can't get rid of it.

A familiar silhouette shows at his doorstep.

- "Yoshiki! Yer ready yet? We should off to school now."

Hikaru greets him with a big smile and his furrowed eyebrows give off a sly look, like always.

The sun-bright boy has Yoshiki astonished for a moment as he looks up on his face, he quickly realises he's acting awkwardly; he bows his head down to hide the fluttered face.

- "Yeah, let's go."

The buzzing of cicadas echoes all over the summer sky, the green fields and sparkling rivers they walk across marking a scene of the summer.

Just being carefree high school boys with a remarkable friendship under this sky, only if everything just had to be this peaceful would be good, nothing would go wrong; or Yoshiki suppose they wouldn't, nothing should cross their fates.

Yoshiki looks up at Hikaru again. Hikaru Indou, he is dazzling, he's the light. Attention revolves around him. Even the sunlight shining on his back creates an eclipse-like rimlight. He's perfect, everyone loves him, he is the sunflower in this dull summer, a boy forever in his youth.

Compared to him, he's nowhere near that.

He knows where they stand. Both of them belong to different worlds from the very start, a forever distance.

"Mm... I think we should just stay like this then..." he thinks, there's no point in breaking this friendship just because of his stupid selfishness.

- “Hey yer know, Saito-san just replied to my messages yesterday! She’s so cute don’t you think!”

- “Heh, yer always get all hyped when talking about her?” Yoshiki smirks after a sigh. It’s fine as long as they can both keep be friends like this, no need for anything else.

- “Of course! Still, I don’t know I should confess to her, I don’t know if she likes me or not either, that sucks.” Hikaru's carefreeness is so contrasting to Yoshiki's inner. Yoshiki is trying his best to keep the waves of thoughts coming to him, and trying to forget what happened earlier. He can't tell anyone about that, nor about his feelings.

Yoshiki bows his head, his always-empty eyes are now reflecting an unknown bitterness.

Cicadas buzzing louder as if they heard his inner, at least this way he will get distracted from his mind a bit when facing his best friend.

"...As you may know. Mars and Venus, despite being in the same solar system, their distances are nowhere close, nor are their common. You should take this down in your notes..."

Yoshiki pays no attention to the Geography class in front of him. He wearily looking outside.

The sky is always bright and dazzles like that. The beautiful scenery of mid-summer with the big white clouds always remains, nothing changes. Yet something rumbling in his heart, something he can't define.

His pencil is being held with its top pressing down on the desk. He quietly tapping its lead as something to kill the time of this boring class.

Doubtfully, He glances over Hikaru. "Were I acting weird this morning? What if he find out something?" He buries himself in his own thoughts. He's trying his best to "preserve" this friendship, he shouldn't go over the line between them he knows very well.

"Ah... What am I doing even..?" He realized he has been looking at Hikaru too intently. Even he knows that's gross. No one looks at their friend like that, especially when it's a man.

He withdraws his gaze, shivering at his own feelings toward his friend.

"You're so gross." His voice speaks to him. His hand trembles as he presses the pencil lead down even further on the desk.

Breaks-

Ding dong dang dong. Another day has passed. Yoshiki slumps on the desk, looks out at the window with his heavy heart; those about-to-rain dark clouds are no different from his feelings right now. Whatever he wants to confess seems impossible; he can only take everything inward, so no one will know the truth and no one will get hurt, at least he won't be, everything will be in peace as it is supposed to.

"Oh look, it's about to rain. We should get going, quick." his class gradually gets thinner out; everyone has left, leaving only him here still.

No one is around anymore, he eventually works his tired body out to get up and put away the books and utensils on the desk. Only the clattering of him organizing his stuff left in this silent classroom. 

Crinkle. A piece of paper falls from his backpack.

"Hm?" he stoops doubtfully, reaching for the paper piece, remembers nothing about what it can be, could be some sort of sticky notes or drafts?

Folds. Yoshiki stumbles. The letter he wrote last night, how did it get here? 

"Disgusting. Can't you just stop feeling that way?" The echoes returning to him, all that happened is now just for him to get back to the bottom zero. He is disgusting, a monster, his feelings should never exist; he wouldn't be in this much suffering.

A forbidden love, always has been.

"Oh yikes, two guys holding hands? Don't show me that -haha." The ridiculous convo of his male classmates earlier now lingering in his ears. His head slowly bowing down as his hand gripping on the note piece. Everything that happened in his so-called nightmare is now returning to him once again. He terrifies with his own feelings, the loneliness and the desperation for an answer to his confession, none of them he can bear.

"H-hah...?" he steps back from his desk until his back hits another table behind.

"Really what were you thinking? Don't you find yourself gross?", "Hikaru would never like you. Stop making it so difficult for him." His voices linger in his mind gradually getting louder; his hands tremble along with his whole body.

He had enough with this selfishness already, he should have just let it go.

*-you're that disgusting*

Hikaru's voice from his dream once again resonates in him, it's just it get distorted this time like radio noises, making his head hurt even more.

His breath shortens, he can no longer keep calm anymore.

His hands snap together, crumpling the note as a last resort to hide his true self from everyone else, from Hikaru.

Chaos, desperation, devastation; he takes it all into the crumpled paper. Along with all the words of his true feelings, from the bottom of his heart is now remain forever unable to speak up. It all ended like that.

His hands are holding tight, toward his forehead. His long bangs cover his eyes, yet leave his teeth grinding together. His own feelings beat him. Isolation, loneliness, his mind is nothing but a prison for his own. He doesn't understand his heart, nor does he want to.

If this love could be taken off and fly free, maybe then he'd be free as well. He wishes.

"Ugh!" He throws the round crumpled note down to the floor with every last bit of strength to brush off his feelings again. Yet he knows he can no longer keep bottling up anymore.

Slams. Yoshiki slides the class door, walks quickly through the corridor with his fist placed on his eyes to hold back the wave of feelings. His footsteps echo in the whole area as if no one else is at school anymore, it seems so quiet for nothing.

His footsteps are all he can hear. He's no different than an overinflated balloon that can burst at any moment.

Yoshiki makes it to the first floor. He's really about to explode right now if he has to hold back for any longer. He can barely keep his calm, fleeing through the lockers like an instinct.

- "Ah, Yoshik-"

Rattle.

- "Yoshiki?" Hikaru slides the class door. He had earlier told Yoshiki to wait for him to attend the club meeting, and then they would walk home together, as they always do, but now he's nowhere to be seen.

"Hm? He's not here either." He tries to figure out where his friend could be. He checked the lockers and the study room already, but Yoshiki wasn't there, his usual places.

- "Ah, Hikaru?" Asako walks by the class after her club activity ends, getting ready to leave.

- "A, Asako. Yer saw Yoshiki anywhere? I told him to wait for me after the club meeting. I checked the study room already but he wasn't there either."

- "Yeah, he ran past me earlier at the lockers, looked like he was in a hurry for something?"

_ "Ran?"

- "Yeah. I don't know if something happened..."

- "...Alright, I see. Thanks, though." his face pensives.

"Did something happen to him..." he turns around, getting to leave-

Rustle. His shoe steps on something.

"Hm?" A wad of paper on the floor.

- "What is this?" he wonders as he stoops to pick it up.

Crackle.

Yoshiki has run far enough to be seen by anyone. He slowly stops, left standing by the sunflower field they walked past. He could never reach Hikaru, no matter how much he tried. He needs to accept that fact.

The pacing heart aching. He forces himself to forget about them all, even if that breaks him even further than his current state.

Hikaru is all his world. He should be happy for Hikaru, for whoever he loves. Still, it hurts him badly. The stupid desire he has no chance to win.

“…Mars and Venus, despite being in the same solar system,  their distances are nowhere close, nor are their common…” He knows from the start they belong to different worlds, they never meant to be together and never will. This tiresome love is strangling his breath and his heart, “Why can’t it just go away..?” The desperation grows bigger inside him.

The sunflower will still bloom, just not for him. He really wants to get close to Hikaru, even a little, all feels so far away.

Behind those stooping bangs of his bowing head, his eyes are hidden perfectly so that no one can tell how he’s feeling. The emptiness growing is no different from the clouds darkening in the sky.

- “This is so stupid…” he covers his face shamingly, being in a spiral where he can’t decide to let everything out or just take everything inward for good. He doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, nor does he want to hurt himself. Love after all is not for him, he deserves nothing. He doesn’t want that sunflower to wither, if only he could remove the “love” feeling.

His hands slowly lowering from his face with the palms open

Drip. A water drop falls. Either it's the rain, or his tear.

Gradually, many more keep falling down. “Ah, it’s raining…”. His hands open to the rain; every drop slipping through his palms and fingers, drifting away along with his emotions; emotions of the first love, emotions of the youth.

Yoshiki tilts his head up toward the sky, the rain keeps getting heavier. He finally let go of his hands reaching out to the rain.

Chuckles. He should have just confessed it all, If hiding everything is this hurt then he woudn't hide anything. Rejection or acceptance. At this point, none of them matters. Only if his heart could catch a break from overflowing feelings, anything is fine.

His chuckle perfectly becomes one with the heavy rain. The whole scenery is quickly getting dark. Street lamps around him start to flicker and then glow a muted yellow-ish color like a godray.

"There's always a rainbow after the rain." They always say. Maybe it's just this one-and-only time, then he will forget about this one-sided love forever. 

From afar, a megaphone from somewhere around the town on he's on his way fleeing. A cheerful yet melancholic melody of the electric keyboard with the popping drum sounds blending in perfectly within the rain and Yoshiki's chuckle. The clear voice of a female singer sings softly.

"...Whenever it rains like this

Inside my heart, a clock cries softly, "cuckoo"..."

Yoshiki slowly bowing his head down. He's all wet like a cornered mouse. His reluctant giggle slowly fading, and all left is just a twisted feeling.

Under the rain pouring down, a stream of tears slips down his chin.

He cries. He cries for the feelings he could never tell anyone. He cries because his selfishness doesn't want Hikaru to be happy with who he actually loves. Everything he has bottled up now hits him hard.

- "I'm really... not that strong to brush it off..."

He cries desperately. He can't keep saying "Love is a no big deal" just to fool himself. But at least, no one can see him sobbing all over under this rain. As well a rain inside his heart...

- "Ah... so this is melancholy..." the bittersweet in his shivering voice letting all the feelings drift away under the rain. Memories of him and Hikaru dazzling in his mind, all of those beautiful moments shouldn't be ruined. But just this one time, he can be honest with himself, with his heart.

With the hazy light of street lamps, a high school teenage boy sobbing for the feelings of his first love under the drowning rain. Only in the rain, his vulnerability and desperation won't be seen, no one in this village will judge him for being his true self.

"...I wish I could turn back in time

So I could see your smile again

The rain drowns out his world, his love, and his youth. It keeps falling.

But then, it would be good if his heart could be silenced, once and for all.

"Cuckoo". Just for today, I will cry

'Cause I only cry in the rain."

- "Yoshiki."

The heavy rain gets every other sound muffled, yet Yoshiki can hear that voice clearly. He whirls around anxiously.

- "Hi...karu..?" The white-haired boy standing not too far from him for no one knows how long. Under the umbrella, he has a worried look on his face.

- "What 're yer doing here? You'll get soaked."

- "Ah... nothing, sorry..." Yoshiki bows his head, trying to avoid Hikaru's eyes. He wishes Hikaru didn't see everything just happen earlier. The raindrops flow on his face along with his tears, he swipes them off as an attempt to hide everything again.

Hikaru's eyebrows frown, he knows his friend has a lot but couldn't get anything out.

- "Is this..." Hikaru rummages through his pants pocket, taking out a folded piece of paper that has been heavily crumpled.

"...What yer want to hand me, right?"

Yoshiki's face shows fear that has never been seen before. His eyes open wide in anxiety. He stumbles, even in his words.

- "H-How did... Ya read it, didn't ya..."

- "Yeah." Hikaru gives him a slight nod.

The flushing rain fills in the silence between them. It keeps falling, yet the time seems to be frozen. Yoshiki doesn't want to confront his feelings, but he has already been exposed. Denying anything at this point will help nothing nor will it make any difference.

- "...Sorry." Yoshiki shamefully hides his face in his hands. He bows his head down so he can avoid Hikaru's glance toward him.

- "What for?" Hikaru speaks with his bittersweet smile trying to comfort Yoshiki. Even the pouring rain can't conceal it.

Yet Yoshiki knows Hikaru is the type of person who can attract a lot of attention. He doesn't want him to get dragged into this. "What would others think about him, about us? Why do I always make him feel so uncomfortable? There's no point for this love at all." All resonates in his mind. There's no place for him, just his delusions and selfishness.

- "...I shouldn't have written those words, now I can't hide anything. Sorry..."

"...Maybe after this, I can't be yer friend anymore... Maybe yer and everyone else will hate me too..."

"...But as long as I can be honest with myself and my feelings for once... I'm fine with everything else..."

Tears run down Yoshiki's cheek. Maybe if he could erase the love emotion once and for all, then he would be free, no matter what it could cost.

His sobbing, his vulnerability, everything collapsing in front of the one he loves. Everything he tried his best to hide is now shattered to ashes.

The shame growing inside him intensively. Hiding himself at this point is meaningless. Still, he can't let everything out at ease, all can only drift away in his tears, silently. "Sorry..." he keeps himself in the spiral, he can no longer define his love nor his feelings. Everything slipped.

- "Yoshiki..."

- *sobs* "...I'm sorry...I don't want yer to feel so difficult because of me..."

"...I don't want to ignore my aching heart either... But if yer so disgusted, then let it all out on me..."

"I'm a sick freak, I know... Let's end it here-"

Thud.

Clatter. Hikaru’s umbrella gets thrown away, clattering on the concrete road.

Hikaru cuts Yoshiki’s denial with a sudden hug, his warmth cuts through the cold of the rain and the storm inside Yoshiki as he falters. The rain keeps falling on them. Under the hazy light, their time seems to stand still.

The rain pattering on the sunflowers. In their very own town, the lamps illuminate them with a golden color. Yoshiki's heartbeat syncs with the drum loop from afar, the moment he has been longing for feels so surreal. Only if they could be like this forever, only if they were meant to be together.

Both of them are now wet under the rain, they're no different anymore at all.

Yoshiki's arms freeze in mid-air, the warm sensation has him off-guard. Hikaru holds him tight as breaking the chain tied his heart this whole time.

- "...Hikaru..? Why are ya..."

- "It's fine. Let yet heart breathe a lil, 'kay?"

Hikaru's kindness and tenderness are conflicting with Yoshiki's heart so much. Yoshiki tries to hold his tears, still he can't control his feelings at all. He failed miserably. He wants no sympathy from Hikaru, he doesn't deserve it either. It hurts him so much, he can't stop all the compressed feelings coming out. Still, Hikaru only wants his friend to can get off his mind and feelings, even just a little is fine. He understands Yoshiki's feelings very well; even a gloomy person, after all, has a pure, platonic heart. He wants this warmth to reach Yoshiki, he wants him to just be who he is, no need for hiding.

- "...Sorry... I don't want yer to see me in this horrible state at all... So embarrassing..." Yoshiki wipes his unstoppable tears. He can't name his affection to Hikaru properly, yet he doesn't want to bury it any further.

"...I don't want others to look at yer weirdly either... I reckon I can't keep lying to myself anymore..."

- "Don't be." Hikaru perks his head. His hand caresses Yoshiki's face gently, brushing away the last of his tears.

"If yer want to cry then do what yer want."

The warmth of his hand has Yoshiki falter as his heart stings, he holds Hikaru's hand on his face gently yet knowing very well he shouldn't keep him like this.

"Heh, yer could have just admitted yer love to me. Yer so much a brat, yer know?" The grumpy smile of Hikaru gently soothes the pricks in Yoshiki's pouting heart. "There's always a rainbow after the rain." Yoshiki lets go of his defense for the love of his slowly, he has nothing to hide anymore. There's no need for shame in his love, his honesty is all that it needs.

Hikaru gently cups Yoshiki's face. To Yoshiki's flabbergasted, softly-

A kiss. Under the rain.

Fwosh. In the crying rain, two golden hearts eventually become one. The hazy fog covers them, unveiling their feelings.

Rain keeps falling, time keeps passing by. Their longing wishes, they no longer need to hide them anymore.

No one will see them in this rain. Nothing needs to be hidden away.

Two boys can finally be honest with themselves and their feelings. Drifting away from everything else under this rain.

"...'Cause I only cry in the rain."

Chuff. Passing through the dark tunnel, the sunset once again illuminates through the train windows.

"Honestly, I can't grasp you at all, you know?

That my heart could be taken away, yeah

The sunflower field glows a dazzling yellow color, lingering on the silhouette of two boys sleeping on the long couch of an empty train.

Above the sunflowers where the raindrops lingered, a rainbow gradually came into view under the vivid sunset.

Two of them wear opposite sides of an earphone they share, a cheerful synth keyboard melody with an electric guitar kicks in. A robotic voice of a yellow-haired computer-singer girl resonates through the sweet tune.

They lean their heads together on the couch, drowsing after a pouring rain. Hand in hand, holding as the sun rays pass by their faces.

"The next station is Himawari Station."

Even when I didn't notice it at all

But there's no way that could happen, right?"