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“You have to find someone, Master! You’ve been alone for way too long! It's unhealthy!”
Yang Jian sighed exhaustively again as Xiaotian was being far too loud in this public space.
They managed to get a booth that was at a corner for more privacy, but XiaoTian’s loud and anxious whines still drew some stares from other café customers trying to relax and enjoy their meal.
“XiaoTian, calm down. I’m not alone. I have you remember?”
But even this attempt at complimenting him didn’t work. Xiaotian refused to fall for the flattery and continued, “That’s different Master! I’m your loyal friend. But you need a PARTNER. Like a WIFE! Why are you still SINGLE?!”
At this, more heads turned their way and Yang Jian tried to hide his face behind the menu.
“Xiaotian, I love you. But if you don’t stop talking so loudly I will kick you out myself.”
Xiaotian finally got the hint and calmed down, pouting but understanding that he probably shouldn’t have talked so loudly.
“It’s just that I’m worried about you, Master. You’re other brothers and friends and parents and even your uncle have tried setting you up with others. But you reject every single one! We’ve tried pretty maidens and even handsome warriors, but you’ve rejected everyone! You don’t like immortals or Yaos or humans and I’m scared you’re going to get blue balls.”
Yang Jian choked on his own saliva and sputtered out, “What?!”
Xiaotian looked at him concerningly and with a bit of confusion.
“You know? Blue balls. Brother Yuan Hong mentioned it last time he visited, saying how you would get that disease and never recover at this rate.”
Yang Jian was going to find Yuan Hong and have a WORD with him later. But first, he just wanted to get through this breakfast and go home.
It wasn’t like he WANTED to worry everyone who cared about him. It’s just that he sincerely didn’t want to get married. What’s so wrong with being alone anyways? It’s better than to experience trials and hardships that come with marriage.
He’s seen how such relationships end, and it’s never worth it in his opinion.
Eventually, their waitress comes and she smiles brightly. Yang Jian noticed how she had bright feathers in her hair and her eyes were colored with a sort of red and orange color.
“Hello! My name is Birdie and I’ll be your server today. Do you want to get started with any drinks? Any food?”
Xiaotian sniffed her and immediately asks, “Are you a bird spirit?”
Birdie laughed and said, “Well..yeah? I thought it was pretty obvious. This café is run by all kinds of spirits. Anyways, would you like to get started with anything? I see that you’re a dog spirit so perhaps some bones?”
Xiaotian was impressed and nodded yes fervently while Yang Jian ordered a simple cup of latte to start off. Birdie took their orders and left, but not before staring at Yang Jian for a while.
Xiaotian then smiled mischievously at Yang Jian and said, “You know, Master? She seems pretty and nice! You should date her!”
Yang Jian shook his head. “Xiaotian, you literally JUST met her less than a minute ago. Plus, she seems far too young for someone like me.”
Xiaotian replied, “Yeah, you are REALLY old.”
Yang Jian didn’t know whether to appreciate Xiaotian’s honesty or to hate him for it.
Xiaotian continued, “But everyone you date will be younger than you! Unless you date the old guys or the old bodhisattvas. And she smelled nice, like chicken!”
Yang Jian rolled his eyes. “I think you’re just too hungry.”
Xiaotian said, “But did you notice the way she was looking at you? I think she likes you!”
It went on like this for a while before their orders arrived. Xiaotian finally stopped talking once his plate of bones appeared and he ate it with a hunger Yang Jian was expecting.
He looked down at his latte art and was mildly surprised to see a picture of a peach. Actually, it looked more like a heart, but it had a stem on the top of it.
He takes a sip and finds the flavor quite soothing. It was bitter, but not the over-bearing type. There was also a faint smell that lingered on the cup, and it wasn’t a latte smell.
On the plate that came with the cup, he pulls out a strand of…hair? It wasn’t in his drink, but it was pretty long.
And just pretty.
He played with it and remembered that Birdie was still standing there, waiting to take the rest of their orders.
“I’ll just have a plate of fruits, thank you.”
“More bones please!” Xiaotian chimed in, completely focused on his food.
Birdie left and promised both of their orders would arrive soon.
After a while, Yang Jian was wondering what was taking her so long.
“She said soon. Maybe birds have a different conception of “soon”?” Xiaotian said, bones completely gnawed through.
Yang Jian was getting pretty impatient now. There was no reason to wait for so long! Maybe he should just leave an absurdly large tip and leave now.
Just as he was reaching in his pocket for his wallet, a figure suddenly appeared before him.
And it wasn’t Birdie.
“Hi! I heard that you wanted to see me?”
Huh?
Yang Jian blinked, thinking he had to be mistaken. But nope. The person was still there.
It was the same type of bright hair strand that he found on his cup plate. But now, Yang Jian saw where such a pretty, soft specimen originated from.
It was a beautiful, short monkey spirit. With peach blossom eyes and golden brown fur. He stood there meekly with a smile so bright, Yang Jian felt as if he was looking at the sun. His voice was sweet, and loud. But Yang Jian didn’t find it to be annoying (ignore XiaoTian’s cries of jealousy).
Yang Jian felt like an arrow had pierced his heart.
“I-I did?” Yang Jian hadn’t even known this guy existed or worked here. (If he had, he would’ve definitely called him).
“Ummm. Yeah? My coworker told me you found a piece of my fur in your drink? I’m so sorry about that and I hope you’re not too angry…”
“Oh this? I-Oh it’s fine. It wasn’t even in my drink. I really liked the latte. Compliments to the barista.”
The monkey spirit, whose name was Wukong based on his name tag, beamed happily.
“Really? Thank you! I wasn't too confident in my cooking or drink making skills.”
“Well, I think you’re doing an amazing job. Are you a waiter too?”
If Wukong was a waiter, then Yang Jian would have to come in here more often…
Wukong shrugged and his smile faded.
“Um, well. They-my boss that is- don’t want me to work in the front house. They say I’ll scare the customers away unless I turn into human form like Birdie does. But I don’t wanna do that so…”
No kidding. A human form might be a down grade for Wukong. Those bosses are clearly blind.
“You’ll definitely see some of the others here if you come back though! There’s Nezha and Yutu and they’re really great waiters!”
Yang Jian didn’t care about those people, whoever they were.
He just wanted to see Wukong. He didn’t know why.
It was pretty confusing.
He quickly writes down something on a sheet of paper and hands it to Wukong. Then, he plops down a bunch of gold on the table and drags XiaoTian’s unconscious body (he had fallen asleep after getting full) out of the café.
“Visit me!” He calls out before closing the door behind him on the way out.
As he carries Xiaotian, who had transformed back into his dog form, back to their home, he felt hopeful for once in his long, bachelor life.
****
(Why Birdie was Taking so Long)
“No no! Nuh uh you can’t make me!!”
Birdie raised an eyebrow.
“Yes I can. Remember how much you still owe me for when you broke the superintendent's nose? If it weren’t for my help, you wouldn’t still be here!”
“But-but it’s HIM!”
“Exactly! Now’s your chance!”
Wukong bit his finger and said, “But I’m scared. What if he-what if he yells at me? I shouldn’t have shed so much! I’m stressed!!”
“You’re shedding even more right now…”
She was right. As Wukong worried, tuffs of fur were falling onto the ground.
Sha noticed and quickly went over to sweep away the fur.
In the back, Red Son started sneezing again and shouted that the stinky monkey should shed outside the back house.
Wukong peered out and looked at Yang Jian again, looking so effortlessly cool and serious.
“I can’t! I’ll quit right now! You think I’m kidding? Watch me!” Wukong cried out.
And thus, it was a tremendously long time before Wukong even dared to step out to meet Yang Jian…