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To say that James was unhappy would be a grave understatement. He was sitting across from his young lover at a café, slowly emptying the contents of a sugar packet into his cup of coffee, watching as each individual granule sank to the bottom of the cup, waiting to be stirred and dissolved in the bitter liquid. Q was completely ignoring his presence. He was focusing on something on his stupid laptop that he insisted on bringing everywhere. The light from the screen reflected on the lenses of his glasses, accentuating the dark circles underneath his eyes, showing just how many nights the young man sacrificed for the organization.
“Q…” James tried to get his attention softly, but his attempt was not acknowledged with a response.
“Q,” He tried again a bit more firmly, and this time, the man across from him lifted his gaze from the screen, but his slender fingers did not stop dancing across the keyboard.
“Hm?” Q offered as a response, but his focus was once again on the computer screen.
“Eat something,” James said as he pushed Q’s untouched sandwich closer to him. Q has always been a little too skinny for Bond’s liking, but he accepted that he could do nothing to change that. That doesn’t mean he ever stopped worrying, especially now, after returning from a three weeklong mission and finding Q even thinner than before.
“I will, just give me a second to finish this,” Q replied and proceeded to go back to ignoring the food in front of him.
James was going to press the issue further, but he was interrupted by Q’s phone ringing out, breaking the silence in the café.
Q answered the call, quickly rambling out some information that Bond had no chance of understanding. James spaced out for the duration of the conversation, his attention being brought back to Q when the exhausted man sighed deeply and said that he would be right there at the same time as he shut his laptop. Bond didn’t have to ask where Q was going. He was about to ask if he needed a ride, but Q quickly jumped to his feet, softly pecked James on the lips and ran out of the café with a promise of seeing him later.
James was absolutely livid. This was the first time he got to see his lover in nearly a month and they didn’t even get a chance to talk, much less do anything else. Could the MI6 not function without the quartermaster for a couple of hours? All he wanted to do was spend a couple hours lazing in front of the telly, shove some much needed food down his partner’s throat and finally get laid. Was that so much to fucking ask for?
James sighed and paid for their food while he glared at the untouched meal Q didn’t even bother looking at. James asked the friendly waitress to pack it up for him in hopes of making Q eat it later. He walked out to the busy streets of London to find his car and go to the apartment he and Q have been sharing for nearly a year now.
As he unlocked the door to said apartment, he was broken from his thought by loud meowing and a small fur ball rubbing on his legs. Q’s cats hated him when he first moved in, but once they realized that he was there to stay, they called truce and treated him as a part of their family. He wondered why the cat was so loud, so he went to check their bowls to see if she was hungry, but he saw that both bowls were full of cat food.
“If he can remember to feed you, why can’t he remember to do the same for himself?” Bond asked the cat. He used to think that Q was ridiculous when he talked to the cats, but after observing the behaviour for a couple of months, he unconsciously started doing the same. It felt quite comforting at this point, and it often left him wondering how he spent the majority of his life completely alone, disregarding the one night stands.
Bond settled down in the comfortable armchair in the living room with a glass of whiskey filled nearly to the brim. Even though much has changed since he and Q got together, his drinking habit remained nearly the same, even if it was slightly more limited at this point. Previously, he would have gone through the entire bottle. He turned on the telly to fill the room with background noise. It felt weird and silent without the ever so present sound of thin fingers gliding across computer keys at an impossible speed. The sound never leaves him, and he found comfort and reassurance in it, especially when he was on a mission and knew that he had Q to rely on as long as he could hear that sound in his earpiece. James finds so much comfort in the little things that make Q who he is. What he loves the most is the way Q slightly frowns sometimes when he’s rushing to type a code, because James knows that Q wishes he could move his fingers faster to catch up to the speed at which his brain processes information. It is incredible how such a young man was smarter than a whole nation of people. How he always managed to get Bond out of every sticky situation.
Never in his life has James imagined that this domesticity could be something he would cherish so much. He always saw himself as a man who would literally work himself to death. He accepted that as his reality and decided that he would at least make this world a little bit better before he left the face of the earth to be forgotten, just like the rest of the double 0’s.
But then the quirky skinny man entered his life and turned it upside down. James doesn’t care how much of a cliché it is, but he suddenly cared if he survived during a mission. He cared because he had something wonderful to return to. He no longer anxiously waited for the next mission thinking he would go crazy if it did not come soon enough. He didn’t sit alone in a dark room with a bottle of whiskey. He found something to live for and he could not be happier.
James was so lost in thought that he did not even realize that the sun was slowly being replaced by the moon and that the sky was progressively getting darker. He looked up at the clock above the TV and saw that nearly eight hours have passed since he got home, meaning that Q should have returned hours ago.
James decided that it was time to go get his lover himself. He grabbed his jacket, house keys and car keys, completely ignoring the amount of alcohol in his system as per usual. It’s not like he would even bother stopping if the police tried to pull him over.
The MI6 was quite easy to reach in a short amount of time if someone was going double the speed limit through small hidden streets. When James got there, he headed straight to the quartermaster’s office without a second thought. His stride was quick and purposeful, making other people in the hallways jump away from the agent to clear his path. One could easily see when the double 0 had a mission of his own accord and no one was brave enough to get in his way. He reached Q’s office and was ready to yell at him to finally take a fucking break and go home, but the words never left his mouth. He could not possibly yell at Q now. Not when he was in the state he was. Q was extremely pale, making the angry shadows underneath his eyes painfully prominent and the way the large computer screen illuminated his face made his cheekbones achingly sharp and gave his skin a gray hue. His hair was limp and greasy on top of his head, and there was an unmistakable shake to his hands as he typed furiously. Bond even wondered how Q could possibly be hitting the right keys when his fingers seemed to have a mind of their own. Every ounce of anger was replaced with worry. He knew that Q was shit at taking care of himself, but this was getting ridiculous. Bond was supposed to be the one in danger of losing his life in their line of work, not the other way around.
He approached Q slowly as not to startle him, since the younger man has not even noticed that James has entered the room. James gently placed his larger hand on top of Q’s smaller one to stop him from typing and felt the tremors emitting from Q’s hands on the bottom of his palm.
“Q, you need to take a break. Let’s go home. I’ll make you a cup of tea and I got your sandwich from the café so you can have that for dinner. After that, you will finally get some goddamn sleep,” James said in a worried tone, but with authority to leave no space for arguments. But of course, it wouldn’t be Q if he did not try to argue.
“But I need to finish this James,” Q said and looked up to meet the agent’s eyes. James could see the tears of exhaustion well in the corners of Q’s eyes, but determination was shining in them at the same time. James knew there was no point in trying to argue with Q. Not when he had that look in his face. He’s had too many arguments with his lover to know that he could not win this one.
“When will you be done?” James asked and Q was clearly shocked by how quickly James gave up. Bond figured that arguing would just make them stay there longer, and the sooner Q was finished, the better.
“I don’t know, maybe an hour?” Q questioned himself. James sighed, but nodded as he grabbed Q’s signature cup and went to the lounge room to make him a cup of tea.
“I’m sorry,” Q said when James placed the cup on the coaster on Q’s desk, “I know we haven’t seen each other in weeks, but th-“
“It’s okay, we’ll talk when we get home. Finish this so we can go,” James interrupted him. Q only smiled and returned to his keyboard.
James knew that Q finally finished when he raised his arms in the air and groaned as he stretched. He always did that when he finished something long and strenuous. James couldn’t be happier that he could finally take Q home. Q pushed his chair away from the desk and stood up. James was holding Q’s coat and bag, but he quickly dropped both to the floor when he saw his lover sway on his feet and fall forward. James caught him just before he could hit the ground and sat him back in the chair he just got up from.
“Q?” James asked, hating the quiver in his voice.
“Q!” he nearly yelled in his attempt to get the quartermaster’s attention. Q stirred in the chair and looked up at the frantic agent.
“What’s wrong?” Q asked in a confused manner.
“What’s wrong?!” James yelled, because he was unable to hold back his anger now that he knew that Q was awake. “You fucking passed out is what’s wrong!”
“Oh,” Q responded after he took a moment to process what James had just said.
“Oh?! Is that all you have to say?” James could not believe that Q was not as worried as he was. “I’m taking you to medical right this second.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m fine, let’s just go home,” Q said and looked like he was about to say more, but the look Bond shot him quickly shut him up.
“You are not going to win this one Q. You’re going to see a doctor whether you like it or not. There is no way in hell I will let you hazard with your health,” Bond said with such authority that no one would even begin to think about arguing with him. Q was obviously too tired to argue, so he just nodded and began to get up for the second time that evening. As soon as his feet hit the ground and his full weight rested on them, they disappeared from underneath him and he was lifted into Bond’s arms with a yelp.
“I can walk by myself you know,” Q said in an annoyed tone.
“That is for me to decide at this moment,” Bond replied and he carried the quartermaster through the lab to the medical.
“Oh my goodness what happened?” a young nurse asked as she approached them.
“Nothing, 007 is just overreacting,” Q said.
“I don’t believe that passing out classifies as nothing,” Bond said in return and faced the nurse. “He collapsed when he got up from his chair and I would appreciate it if you checked him over.”
“Of course, sit him down here please and wait outside,” the nurse said as she motioned to the medical table behind one of the sets of doors in the large facility.
Bond sat Q on the table and hesitantly moved to the door to exit the room.
“Don’t worry 007, he is in good hands,” the nurse assured him when she saw his hesitation.
James waited patiently outside and hoped that nothing serious was wrong. He would never forgive himself if he found out that Q was hurt because he did not insist that Q got some rest when he first got to the quartermaster’s office. Waiting was proving to be harder than he though and he nearly ran back into the room to demand answers, but he did not have to. The nurse exited the room with Q slowly walking behind her right when James was starting to walk towards it.
“So?” Bond asked impatiently. He was worried. So worried that he did not even know what to do with all the emotions that were making his chest ache and bronchi close up.
“Don’t worry too much, he is not in any immediate danger, but he is exhausted and malnourished. You need to make sure that he rests and eats plenty of nutritious food in order for him to be back to top health. And under no circumstances is he to come to work tomorrow, do you understand me young man?” She said in a stern voice as she turned to look at Q. Q nodded curtly and walked towards Bond.
“Thank you,” Bond said and threw Q’s arm around his shoulder to support him.
“You’re welcome, it’s our job to make sure you idiots are fit enough to save the world,” the nurse replied and left to tend to other patients.
“You heard her, I’m fine, so you can let me walk by myself,” Q said stubbornly.
“No, she said that you’re not in immediate danger, not that you’re fine,” Bond replied and forced Q to start walking while he supported him. Q, too tired to oppose further, leaned on James and allowed him walk him to the car.
The car ride was unnaturally silent. Q always had something to say to fill the silence, another one of his traits that Bond learned to love. It got annoying sometimes, because if they were together, James could not even think with the constant blabbing. James looked over at the seat next to him and saw that Q had fallen asleep. James was glad, because the sooner Q got proper rest, the sooner he will recover. When he parked the car in the parking lot in front of their apartment building, he considered waking Q up, but that idea vacated his mind instantly.
Bond gathered all of their belongings from the car, not that there were many, just two coats and Q’s bag, but it will make carrying Q a little bit more difficult. James frowned when he felt Q’s weight in his arms. He didn’t have time to focus on it when he was carrying him earlier, too worried and in a rush to get him to the medical, but it was now blatantly obvious that Q has lost a substantial amount of weight. James carried his lover all the time, especially to bed when he fell asleep in front of the TV, or when he held him up against the wall, and Q was never heavy, but there used to be a stronger pull of gravity on his form a few weeks ago.
Carrying Q up the stairs was the easy part of the short trip. The real challenge was finding his keys in his pocket while trying to support Q with one arm without waking him up. Q moaned softly when James shifted him in his arms, but didn’t wake up. James finally found the keys and successfully unlocked the door. He dropped their coats on the floor and carried Q to their bed. He laid him down gently and carefully took off his shoes, belt and glasses, letting him sleep in his trousers and shirt. He deemed those comfortable enough and he knew that Q wouldn’t give a damn about what clothes he slept in, as long as he did get some good quality sleep.
James quietly walked back to the door to hang their coats up on the hangers on the back of the door. The cats made a quick appearance to welcome James home, but quickly left in favour of joining Q in bed. Bond decided that he should shower and get to bed as well.
The sight of Q with his cats cuddled close to him made James smile unconsciously. Sometimes he forgot how young Q is, and moments like these made it painfully obvious. Q looked barely 22, and even though James knew that he was older than that, it was hard to believe. He crawled under the covers and snaked his arm around Q’s waist. Q crawled a little closer unconsciously, making it possible for Bond to fully embrace him in his arms. Another shock awaited him when he was able to freely roam his hands on Q’s torso. The young man’s ribcage was very defined, in a very unhealthy way, making it possible for James to count every rib as he gently moved his hand on the warm skin. James sighed internally, and with the thought of stuffing his lover’s face full of food the following day, he also fell asleep.
The next morning was, unsurprisingly, quite stressful for both of them. James had to argue with Q, because the childish moron insisted on going to work, and there was no way in bloody hell that James was going to allow that to happen.
“It’s not happening Q. You heard the nurse last night. You are not going anywhere other than back to bed and maybe the shower later today,” James said. He was tired of this. If people thought that he was a workaholic, then they obviously didn’t spend enough time with Q. James knew that the organization was resting on Q’s brittle shoulders, but even he needed some free time, especially if he was ill.
“Bu-“ Q tried to protest but James cut him of.
“No buts. I don’t care if MI6 fucking falls, you are staying home today and no work whatsoever. They can survive without you for one day,” James said and there was unmistakable finality in that statement.
Q pouted, and tried to convince James with his puppy dog look. James felt like a parent trying to raise a naughty child sometimes. Q was so childish at times, making it unbelievable that he was a technical mastermind who created weapons of great destruction for secret agents.
On any other day, James would have fallen for this look and would have allowed Q to have his way, but not today. Not after he nearly died with worry the day before. Q didn’t even realize how much he meant to the agent.
Q realized that he was not going to win this one, so he sighed and returned to bed. James was glad to see that as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was sound asleep again. The agent let his lover sleep for a couple more hours, and then he decided that he was going to make the much needed breakfast. He checked the fridge and found that it was nearly empty, and whatever was in there could not be trusted, since it was all probably purchased before James left for his mission. He closed the fridge door and reached into one of the cupboards to grab some oats. Porridge will have to do. It was probably for the best anyways, since it would be easy on Q’s stomach.
When the food was ready, James turned the stove off and turned around to go wake Q up, but to his surprise, the young man, looking even younger in his oversized pajamas and messy hair, was standing in the doorway that separated the bedroom from the kitchen.
“Hungry?” James asked.
“Starving,” Q answered and James couldn’t help but smile.
He watched as Q hungrily attacked his breakfast and realized that everything will be okay. He’s just going to have to threaten Moneypenny into keeping an eye on his idiot when he goes on his next mission.
“I love you,” James said out of the blue. Q set his spoon down and gently kissed James.
“I love you too,” Q whispered with his lips so close the Bond’s that James could feel the vibration of those words.
Love. What a funny thing. And look how much it changed Bond’s world around. He wasn’t just 007 anymore. He was James, and he could not be more glad that he was Q’s James.