Chapter Text
Scott stared intently beneath him watching as the stars pinged around below his feet, colliding and bursting into a glitter of sparks before reforming and taking off once more. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. The void here was so pretty, wherever 'here' was. The last thing he remembered was jumping into a void hole for.. some reason? Why did he do that again?
He furrowed his brows, thinking hard. A village, flat earth, bloodied hands, the.. void. He had been drawn to it. Drawn to it like a moth to a flame, it had been calling out to him, just begging for him to jump into it and be pulled into it's warmth. The dark ink seemed to swallow him whole as he jumped, willingly. It encapsulated him inside itself as the world above him slowly faded away. He remembers the bursts of pain on his skin, a star exploding against his forearm bubbling with heat and searing his skin.
Scott rested his hand against the arm that had been burned, squeezing it slightly. Even though the physical pain was long gone since respawning he was still left with the haunting memory.
Jeez..
After that he woke up here..
Scott lowered himself to the ground, or at least what he assumed was the ground, it was clear, giving him the ability to see down into the void. Though it was clear, it wasn't like he was atop glass, more like he was floating on air, the visual really threw him off.
Scott sat down, pulling his knees to his chest, hugging himself tightly in an attempt to comfort himself. He let go of his arm, moving to run his fingernails along it soothingly as he watched down into the void. He had always been more of a self soother. Not the type to want to burden others with his problems. It was always easier to get up and brush it off not allow people to see his face devoid of a smile. Not to say his smile was fake or anything! Of course not, he loved his friends and his feelings around them were always genuine. But sometimes it's better to deal with a problem on your own time.
"Scott?"
Scott's body lurched in surprise at the sudden addition, scrambling away from the voice rather unceremoniously. In his rush he stumbled, flopping the rest of the way to the ground. Embarrassingly, he was now barely on his hands and knees and needed to fix that immediately. He threw his head behind him, flipping the rest of his body with him to find the owner of the voice was a figure wearing a deep purple cloak.
You don't realise how alarming having a person loom over you while you're on the ground is until you're, well.. on the ground. Feeling vulnerable as ever and not that he'd like to admit it but scared, Scott fell back onto his hands and began shuffling backwards as the hooded man stepped closer.
"Who are you?!" Scott shouted up at the him, causing him to suddenly stop.
"Who am I?" The man responded confused, wondering why Scott would even ask such a question. Scott nodded back slowly never breaking eye contact.
"I'm sure you would know who I am, your game had me in it right?" He questioned tilting his head curiously at Scott. "Or was there another.." He stood for a moment in thought, squinting his eyes to study the other man's face before pulling back. He then waved his hand in a straight line infront of his face, summoning a rectangular panel that floated in the air infront of him. He began pressing at the screen flicking through pages of text and numbers, deep in thought.
Scott rose to his feet, suddenly feeling small from his place on the ground.
"Game? Uhm what do you mean game?" Scott tried.
The other man just chuckled, "Mmm don't worry about it sweetie,"
Scott made a noise of surprise, taken aback by the why was this guy acting so casual right now? What the fuck is going on? He clenched his fists, he was going to get answers out of this prick whether he liked it or not.
Scott suddenly moved forward gripping both of the man's shoulders tightly. The panel he was scrolling through suddenly whisked away as the hooded man stumbled backwards losing his focus.
"What do you mean game?" Scott uttered, voice low. Even though Scott was staring directly in the face of the man in front of him he still couldn't make him out. He remained quiet for a beat, clearly caught off guard by the sudden hostility.
"Scott I think you need to ca-"
"Shut up!" Scott spat, gritting his teeth "Why won't you answer me?! Who the hell are you?!"
The silence in the air was palpable, his outburst going unnoticed and the man's demeanor never wavering. He stared daggers forwards, locking his eyes on him and only him. Scott breathed heavily, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, he couldn't focus, why was he so angry?
He shoved the man back avoiding his gaze, he stumbled back a few steps, feeling his knees being to buckle. Gosh he was dizzy.
Scott has always hated fate.
Hearing people say nonsense like things were just 'meant to be' always made his blood boil and he never knew why. But this was it. The answer was staring him right in the face, authority. Fate wasn't real! Fate is carefully curated propaganda to keep people weak and at bay. To make them think that things were supposed to be this way and prevent them from striving for anything better because this is how things are supposed to be. There was always going to be someone, someone who had power over you, the ability to change your outcome. Those who choose to twist your life into the worst possible narrative simply for their own entertainment, their sick enjoyment. Fate is no more than an excuse to all the pain and suffering in the world and people have succumbed to it for far too long.
He has succumbed to it for far too long
Scott clenched his fists at his sides, squeezing so hard his knuckles must be turning white.
Because this is his fault.
He made everyone die.
He made him watch his boyfriend die.
He made him murder his best friend.
He made him kill himself.
"Scott? Are you alright?" the sudden words of the other man broke him out of his trance. His words just dripping with a fake tenderness that he hated, pity.
To be frank, it pissed him off.
The mans finger twitched as he began to reach out for Scott. He felt something inside of him snap.
Scott lunged forward gripping the others neck hard and sending them both hurtling to the floor. The sound of skull connecting with solid ground was deafening. Scott pushed his thumbs into the small of his neck, basking in the choked cries that were ripped out of him. Scott was always the hunted, always the one being chased, the scared animal just waiting to be slaughtered by his captors.
The man flailed beneath him kicking about and trying his hardest to pull his arms up, to defend himself against Scott, but Scott only pushed down harder. Digging his calves into the man's arms and restricting him of movement. No wonder people did this to him so much, the feeling of power it gave him to have complete control over a life was intoxicating.
But, just listening wasn't half as fun as watching would be, being able to see the light leave their eyes as you squish them like bugs. Their final gasps of air being in vain, not being able to fight back even if it cost them their life.
Scott leaned down, grinning manically. The fabric of the cloak had been torn back, due to the fall? The thrashing? He trailed his eyes down to see..
"G-Grian!?"
Scott let go of his throat, immediately pulling away from his face as he snapped back to reality. His haze faded like a purpling mist leaving only a coughing Grian clutching his throat and a dumbfounded Scott.
He stared down at him and felt sick to his stomach, why the hell did he strangle him!??
He would never do that to anyone!
Why did that happen??
"Are you okay??" Scott spluttered urgently, guilt rolling over him in waves.
The events that occured mere seconds ago replayed in his head over and over, the choked screams echoed through his thoughts.
"No you idiot!" Grian wheezed out shooting Scott a look that made him wince. He did genuinely feel bad! He didn't want that to happen!
He needed to fix this! Surely Grian would forgive him if he could just.. find help!
He shot his head up staring around being immediately reminded of where he was.
Right. Void. He's dead or something.
He looked down at Grian who had now stopped coughing a new flame alit in his eyes.
"I don't um.. see any-"
Before Scott could register what was happening the fist was already in his face. He already had limited balance due to being up on his knees, the additional force flinging him backwards and away from Grian. He landed with a thud back on the void floor, honestly that was deserved.
Scott sucked the air in through his teeth at the sudden throbbing his nose was now undergoing. He'd never been punched in the face before, honestly who would want to punch him, so he didn't have much to go off of. But, Grians punches hurt. Probably enough to kill a person if he wanted to! But that was just the drama queen in him.
Hm.
Grian.
That was a weird person to be talking about. The man he had presumed to be dead had just punched him square in the face. But, this couldn't be him right? Like he just said, he is supposed to be dead! People don't just come back, or at least that's what they were told.
Five weeks back, when "Simple Life" had first began they were told that they got three lives and to be cautious because when they were all used up you wouldn't respawn. Being stuck with 13 other people in a game crafted specifically for them to be killed was a terrifying prospect. Inside this sick game he had found Grian. Grian had been there for him. They had been there for each other.
And this was not the Grian he had once knew.
In his peripheral Scott spied Grians hand reaching down for him. He turned to face him, he had gotten up. Scott studied the man's face intently and he didn't even look mad, if anything he just looked tired. Like he had a weight on his shoulders that was simply too heavy to be lifted off.
The Grian he knew was bright and this one looked as if he had been to hell and back.
He reluctantly took his hand and was brought up wordlessly by Grian. They stood for a moment staring into each other's eyes. Grian's deep brown one's piercing into Scott's cool blue ones, like he was trying to study him. His lips noticeably parted before getting pressed back together to form a thin line.
The lack of reaction is what sold it for him, this couldn't be his friend. This was merely an entity that looked like him, he was still dead.
Studying the man closer he could make out the soft outline of wings lightly glowing around Grian's body. Scott squinted, they were less of a physical attribute and more of a suggestion, an aura that brought upon the idea of them being present rather than as a physicality.
"How's your nose?" Grian huffed out eventually, a hint of agitation in his tone.
Scott blinked bringing a hand up to feel his nose. When had that pain stopped? It was like it was never there even though the initial blow hurt so much.
"I'm assuming it's gone?" Grian questioned, raising an eyebrow. Scott nodded. He nodded back in acknowledgement before continuing. "Pain works a bit different here, well, lots of things work a bit different. For starters you can't die, any possible method has been tried already," He mumbled, rolling his eyes "and if you do manage to get yourself hurt you heal almost instantly and uhm, that's about it actually," He concluded, shrugging.
"Noted.." Scott voiced reluctantly.
"Let's get you back to the others then," he spoke, gazing off into the distance.
"Others?" Scott perked up, if there were other people here then maybe..
Scott followed Grian's gaze curiously to where he had looked moments before. The search was fruitless, turning to face Grian he was back on his little screen of code.
"Err, just other people from the games, you may recognise a few" He muttered tapping through windows of encrypted text.
Scott's face lit up with hope. This pretty much confirmed it! Plus if Grian, well not Grian but kinda, was here then maybe he could be too! Grian sort of operates this place by the look of it so maybe his situation could be different!
"Stupid.. insisting we encrypt it.. shits hard enough" Grian cursed under his breath as Scott watched on, beaming with excitement.
Grian caught sight of this, simply raising an eyebrow at Scott before returning his focus to the keypad.
He pressed a final button before waving it from existence once more.
"Okay the entrance is this-a way," He smiled chipperly, one of his phantom wings flicking excitedly. With that he turned on his heels and started walking in a seemingly random direction. Scott, of course, followed.
Traversing the void was a quick journey in which the two didn't converse too much despite Grian's recent enthusiasm. Maybe he had someone to meet as well.
Eventually Grian stopped abruptly, halting Scotts stride and almost causing him to crash into the other man.
"Right, should be here somewhere" Grian states, crouching slowly to the floor. He places a hand onto the ground and slowly drags it around, feeling for something, an intense stare washed across his features.
Scott hears a click as his hand, along with a rectangular cutout of the floor lower slightly. He watches as Grian removes his arm and the cutout pops out of the floor, taking the shape of a door frame.
Without a word he moves to the front of the frame promptly closing his eyes.
Scott watched Grian's wings took shape, the faint outline slowly taking shape into large white wings, pale and dusted with specs of hollow blue. The door soon followed suit, the frame being filled out by a white purpling glow.
Grian sighed reopening his eyes to reveal his lack of pupils before blinking a few times to regain them.
"After you" He joked, gesturing Scott towards the light.
"Yeah go through a creepy portal a guy you just met summoned, real smart move" he smirked.
"Your loss! Just come through after me, don't be like Martyn.." Grian trailed off, keeping his tone lighthearted.
"How about I just come with you?" Scott sighed, taking the step to Grian's side.
As Grian walked through the door his robes were quickly replaced with a, let's say different, getup. His familiar red sweater swapped out for a red cloth like scarf and a tan shirt, lilacs and poppies adorning his outfit. It looked.. nice.
Scott followed suit, the portal adhering him to no such changes. He peered around the area, 8 structures were set out in a row in-front of him. All unfamiliar safe for the final one. He stopped, setting his gaze on the base, it was a carbon copy of his home from back in Simple Life. Same fragile dirt walls, same saplings running along the house's roof.
"They're back!" A voice called excitedly making Scott's head perk up. He turned towards the voice, which was coming from a moss house. A woman was standing out the front, tail excited whipping back and forth behind her as she ushered the others out of the house behind her. They don't get new people here often he guesses.
The others tumbled out of the house quickly, a person with fiery red hair locked eyes with Scott from across the way. Their eyes widened as they slapped a hand to their mouth. "OH MY GOSH!" They squeaked excitedly "SCOTT, LOOK!"
Scott?
They turned back to grab to a man standing a bit behind them, pulling him forwards by the sleeve.
"What!?" He yelped stumbling forwards at their pull. His eyes then met Scotts own, the same cool blue eyes. "Oh," was all he had to say as the group began walking the few metres to meet the pair.
Scott looked him up and down, it was undeniably him! He frowned, they were wearing basically the same thing safe for the colours. While Scott sported blues the other man had reds streaking different areas of his clothes. Red, star shaped gemstones seemed to float softly in a crown around his head. His gaze reached the man's face again who just raised an eyebrow in annoyance, a permanent scowl plastered across his face. Urgh there is no way he is anything like this prick.
Grian cleared his throat, "Okay! Scott," He announced, clasping his hands together. Both men turned to face him and Grian grimaced. "Okay.. that's going to be a problem"
"How about I be Scott and you can be Smajor, cause, ya know I was here first," Scott scowled narrowing his eyes at the man across from him making Scott roll his eyes, folding his arms across his torso.
"Hey, be nice!" Pearl scolded, swiping him across the arm. Scott's head jumped to face hers in surprise as reached up to rub his arm.
"But why? He's me!" He questioned desperately and Pearl frowned back at him.
Scott set his eyes back on the buildings, allowing the group to natter on about what the Scott's should be called. So the are eight people here, him, Grian, Pearl, Cleo, other Scott and 3 other players. He doesn't know much about Cleo and Pearl on account of not interacting with either of them much during the game. Grian doesn't seem to remember their game but that's probably just a bug 'cause he runs this place or something. But why is he here twice?
"I'm sure you two can both be Scott right? I mean you can just guess who's talking to who based on the context," Cleo added, drawing Scott's attention back to the conversation.
"Yeah I don't see why n.." Scott's words trailed off as he caught sight of a man across the void exiting a rather large car. His beautifully familiar face sticking out like an orchid among a bed of rotting stems. Scotts face lit up, wide grin beaming brightly.
Joel was here and alive most importantly!
Those stupid watchers had lied about him dying permanently. Before Scott could even process it was happening he had broken out into a sprint towards the other man.
He jumped at him playfully like he's done many times before, waves of relief finally washing over him. He slung his arms around his shoulders, letting his head drop into the crook of Joel's neck. The comforting scent of leather and ash delightfully welcomed back into his senses. Being back in Joel's arms was a massive weight off his shoulders, like all of his worries could just melt away from his mere presence.
Well, he couldn't say back in his arms cause he wasn't hugging him.. back?
Before he could think to move he was being shoved back. Hands cold on his shoulders, a gutting feeling of betrayal weasels it's way into Scott's chest. He stumbled backwards, releasing Joel, a worried expression now dotting his face.
The look Joel shot back was heart wrenching, full of disgust and malice. He looked down at Scott like he has just stabbed him in the neck rather than embraced him.
Scott stared back and time seemed to stop for a moment. The grappling reality hadn't seemed to hit him until this moment. This isn't his Joel either. He feels like he's just been punched in the face. Again.
How could he be so stupid? In what world would Joel be alive? He watched him die for goodness sakes! He saw his cold, dead, body as it lay rotting in the grass. He knew at that moment he wouldn't get him back. As he kissed his forehead for the final time he knew that would never change. But then, why did Joel push him? Sure Joel is a different guy but he wouldn't shove a person that hard for simply touching him? What did the other Scott do? His brow furrowed slightly, annoyance washing over his features.
He looked to Joel, well he was already looking at Joel just not fully, he wasn't fully there right now. Joel was yelling.. at him. He'd heard Joel yell before, obviously, but it had never been directed at him. It stung.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Was the only thing Scott managed to catch. Joel spat out the words, anger just pouring out of him. The words simply flowed through him, in one ear and out the other, like this was all a dream, that this moment simply couldn't be happening.
Scott glanced back at the small crowd of people behind him. They all wore different variations of shock on their faces, with Scott's looking less shocked and more like he was cringing.
"Blummin' look at me Scott!" Joel yelled, taking ahold of the collar of Scott's shirt, shaking him back and forth as he spoke. His words bouncing off of Scott like a brick wall. For some reason it felt weird, this whole interaction felt weird, almost misplaced, like an act. Joel would break any second and welcome him back with open arms but that didn't happen. Joel wasn't yelling anymore though.
Looking back up at Joel he found that he was no longer looking at him but rather the group behind him, and, if Scott rubbed his brain cells together a little bit he could probably guess who.
Raising his head slightly he was able to catch sight of Joel knitting his eyebrows together to form a look of disgust at the other man. Before peering down at the man he had sitting in his grasp. He shot him one of equal grandeur before releasing his grip on Scott.
"Don't fucking touch me,"
He turned around and reached out for his houses door handle.
"Of course you win twice.. just had to come rub it in my face then?" Joel muttered, stepping inside the car.
Scott reached out to grab him but hesitated, he wanted to grab him, to protest, to make things clear, correct him, anything! But he made himself pretty clear, he doesn't want anything to do with him.
He stood there, hands shaking at his sides with too many thoughts slamming through his head. Though one was extremely prominent.
This is Scott's fault.
What did that dick do to Joel to make him hate him so much? That a hug could send him off the rails? This is all his fault. All his fault.
Scott wanted to turn and run at him, slam his head into the ground, punch him, kick him, whatever. To make him pay for hurting Joel, he wanted to see him in pain. His blood pooled on the floor a-
Scott gripped his head. Hard. That same feeling from before increasingly prominent in his being. That same purpling haze.
He wouldn't give in again. Scott didn't deserve that! He doesn't even know him! It's probably just a misunderstanding anyway..
Scott slumped his shoulders. He could feel the energy draining from his body, so much had occured in the last couple of hours and he was just so.. so.. tired. If he had to deal with this, it would be later.
Without a word Scott dragged his weary body to the final house in the row, its grainy dirt walls the most homey thing he had right now. He heard calls in the distance that he didn't quite pick up on or decided to ignore, probably one of the two.
He reached for the handle and slowly creaked the door open, stepping inside. He let go, hoping it would find it's way shut on its own and collapsed onto the ruffled, unmade duvet, scent of leather and ash sickeningly present in its layers.
He felt the wet pricks of tears form in his eyes. The thought of Joel's death had never really sunk in yet, his body too high on adrenaline to process the loss. But now it all came crashing down.
The sweet guy he'd fallen in love with was dead. Rotting alone in a clearing.
And there was nothing to do but mourn him now.
He hadn't even cried for him at the time, he didn't allow himself to. He had to be strong for him, push forwards for him, live on for him. It's what he would have wanted.
Tears started falling from his eyes and Scott shoved his face further into the mattress if only to keep his dignity intact. He didn't want the pained sobs he was making to be audible to anyone.
Maybe one day the ache in his chest would go away.