Chapter Text
Allison wasn't in the mood for this, the training, the decision making. She wasn't in the mood to get her hair cut either, but she had promised Lydia that they would at least go into the mall; Lydia wanted to trim up a few hairs before school started in a week, and Allison wasn't sure what she wanted. Life had been hard. Haircuts and training didn’t seem normal when everything she was seemed to be broken and empty.
“Hey, you did the exercise right, but you failed to see the point of it. Do it again, and get your mind off of yourself.”
Thankfully, today’s instructor wasn't her father, he was an underling, or rather, a lesser ranked hunter. And at the moment, Allison outranked just about everyone within a hundred miles.
So she did the exercise again, this time, trying to put a bit more trepidation in her movements, as if she was thinking. They had failed to change the cut up and slightly damaged dummies from before, and now, it was easy to find out exactly which ones were going to light up yellow, which ones were going to light up red, and which ones were supposed to be human. There were a lot more cuts on the red lights.
The instructor threw her a towel, but the depressing thing was, she wasn’t sweating, not right now. There was no adrenaline, no stress, it was all mechanical. A flick of the wrist here, a taunt bow string, some knives flicked into the sweet spots of every target. She was doing all of the mechanical things perfectly, even her instances of hesitation were becoming mechanical. She was “thinking” about who to kill, if they were harming a human, if they were close enough to her to constitute a threat, but they all had lit up, and wasn’t that enough?
Her dad came through the door, like he always did after she was having a really difficult day and she really didn’t want to deal with him, but she was used to it by now… mostly. He still looked really sad, a lot. It made her feel slightly guilty that she wasn’t being a better daughter to him. A better daughter for her mother, even if her mother was dead.
Finally, when the other hunter handed over a report, he spoke to her, “You can’t keep faking it Alison, this isn’t how it is supposed to be. We have a responsibility, and since I don’t want anyone else coming in here, trying to take over our territory, well, I just want you to be really ready, ok? I won’t be here forever, and we both know that we have to protect ourselves, we don’t want the any more pain.” His voice caught in his throat, it was doing that a lot these days. It was sickening.
“I miss her too, ok?” Alcohol was sounding good right now. It was Thursday, but maybe she could sleep over at Lydia’s, or rather, just go out into the woods and enjoy a bottle of Tequila and a few limes and a shit ton of Gatorade tomorrow morning. Yeah, that was a good idea.
“I know.” His voice was a whisper, a depressing and depressed whisper with a hint of betrayal that never got too far in. They knew everything now, and it didn’t help.
Allison was used to this, this new broken father that was almost as bad as the father who kidnapped her without warning. At least that dad smiled. A little.
“I’m going to Lydia’s, and no, you aren’t allowed to check in on me every hour, I am a big girl, and Lydia is apparently better at spotting things than me, so I will be safe, you know it.”
It was the end of the argument, and so her father left, and that was that.
Lydia’s place was beautifully decorated, especially since she got to redo her bedroom, and now, now they were sitting in a beautifully chic living room, drinking a mug of coffee each. Allison wasn’t much for conversation anymore, but with Lydia, it wasn’t forced, and they could just as well start talking about math and science rather than feelings and hurting.
Lydia was of course the first to speak, “You know what is going on with them?”
Lydia wasn’t talking to them either, this wasn’t news, but she was still talking to Stiles, and even if she had reluctantly forgiven Allison, there were still hard feelings somewhere in that tone. “No, and my dad won’t tell me anything either, so I don’t know why you bother asking me anymore. I am as much in the dark as you are.”
“Scott still dropping by your room at night?”
It wasn’t really a question, it was a statement. Of course Scott, who loved her with a fierceness that was overwhelming right now, stopped by every night, just to sit outside of her window, out of sight. He was good at being covert, except for the fact that he always casted a shadow when he got there, and when he left. She had gotten really good at faking sleep lately, just so he would leave, knowing that she was sleeping… and it was pain, and it was sadness, and it was death.
Allison decided to not answer the question, “Are you still in touch with Jackson?”
Lydia wasn’t. Both of them knew that it hurt. But Lydia had started it. And right now, they were two bitter harpies, except they weren’t ugly, nor were they planning on killing everybody, yet.
Lydia gave her a dark look, but then she shook her head, “fair point. Let’s go. I want to go to shopping for a new top.”
“Another new top? Why?”
Lydia’s eyes were sharp and calculating, but they also had a small spark of mischief, “there are cute boys in this town, and they don’t care how smart or how human I am. And I want to see if I can’t find someone who compliments my goals a bit better.”
Allison shook her hair out, it was starting to get too long, and maybe it was time to do something drastic, maybe it was time for a trim. Who knows…?
A few hours later, Lydia had four different bags under her arms, and one of them was full of new tops. She had also gone to the jewelry department picking up too many cute and shiny bracelets, more than Allison would have thought possible. She swung by the toys, as depressing as that department was. She looked at everything under the sun for a while, and picked up a construction set of something. Allison didn’t bother asking. She had seen wolf toys not far away, and there was a tightness in her chest that wasn’t easing, not even after she had dropped Lydia at her place, not when she was drinking a fourth of the bottle from her trunk, not when she started to get cold and built a little fire.
“Not tonight Scott.”
It was so automatic to her now, the presence just outside her actual sight, “I don’t want to do this tonight, just please? Go?”
The presence dissipated, but then came back, stronger, closer. “No, I don’t want this, not tonight, please?” she took another swig.
It was gone, but not before she felt the sadness of the request. Did she want him here with her? Did she want to touch his face, to feel his love? No, not tonight, she needed to grieve, she needed to stop feeling this sadness, and the tequila was helping, incrementally. She felt herself get warmer, then she was heavy, and then she was sleeping.
She woke up comfortable. More comfortable than she should have been. Was she in a sleeping bag? She tried to move her arms, and yes, she was in a sleeping bag. Mornings after drinking tequila were the worse. And now she knew it. Better than the schnapps though, much better. Her fire was still going, impossibly. Well maybe not, she was in a sleeping bag, and yes, that was a pillow under her head. Was she really so far gone that this was really happening?
“You’re up. Good. We need to talk.” It was her dad.
The next few days went by in a wave of boredom, and then it was Tuesday, and time for school. First day of school was the worst, not as bad as switching after a few months in one school, but still pretty bad. Lydia had picked her up, and they had a few classes together this year, but that wasn’t really here or there. Allison noticed that Lydia parked further away from the front than usual, conspicuously close to the blue Jeep. But far enough away that they weren’t right next to it. Scott’s bike was in the rack. The bike was a feature on that rack, rain or shine, winter or spring, there was that damned bike. If Allison had been allowed to bring weapons to school anymore, she would have put a knife through both tires, and not even cared.
Lydia took to the front doors like she owned the place, which she does in many ways. She was a kingless queen, and she held herself aloft on the admiring gazes of both upper and lower classmen. Her strawberry hair flowed in the nonexistent breeze of her walk, she looked great. Allison was a bit self-conscious. Maybe she shouldn’t have cut her hair so short. She hasn’t had hair this short since she was in middle school, and there was definitely something about Victoria Beckham back then. Now she sees all the girls with long flowing manes, lions would be jealous. She feels the eyes. She was already the girl with the weird family, the family that kept dying. And yeah, there was already her weirdness, her sudden hyper vigilance. She had even almost flipped a boy who wanted to return a pen he had given her. There was enough stares without the haircut adding to it.
AP Chem for Lydia, English, thankfully without anyone there who could hear her heart beating, Allison settled into a thankfully short school day, she and Lydia had both gotten 8th period off. Her dad didn’t want to sign her out an hour early, but that was the compromise they had struck, and now she was cooperating, or at least pretending to. Lunch was almost tense. Lydia sat down by Danny, who happened to not notice that Lydia wasn’t going to ask any questions about if he was still in touch with Jackson. Maybe she knew he was, maybe she knew he wasn’t. Allison didn’t know.
Danny smiled over Allison’s shoulder, “hey Stilinski. What’s up?”
Stilinski must have answered something, but Allison wasn’t going to pay any attention to that, she knew that where Stiles was, Scott was. She felt a foot touch her leg, a warning and a comfort. “So where is McCall?”
Stiles hissed, “He happens to have detention already, but it’s only a lunch detention after we ended up breaking a desk in Math this morning.”
Lydia decided to ask, she had to ask, it had been worrying her since summer was starting to wane, although, it didn’t feel like summer, not really, not here. “When is your first match?”
“Next week Friday,” Danny answered, “we are lucky our varsity and JV teams practiced enough together than the few fresh-meat added to our varsity team isn’t so horrible. They are all a bunch of bench warmers, not like me and Stilinski here. Co-Captains for life!” a fist bump later and Stiles was gone.
Danny’s smile was dull, his best friend had died, and sure, he knew that Jackson wasn’t really dead. Allison had heard the story Stiles had concocted to ease Danny’s mind, to give Jackson a chance to make everyone who knew him well. Those who would find it strange to see Lydia alone, not sad, just hurt. Jackson had wanted to give them one last thing, peace of mind. And yes, Danny was the only one that Jackson had wanted to see again. It didn’t help that Stiles said something stupid, and yeah Jackson wolfed out at some point, but according to Lydia, Danny had already known about werewolves, sort of. But seeing one was a shock to anyone.
Allison looked down at her salad, suddenly wishing she was eating a big greasy burger and fries, which wouldn’t remind her of Scott, not here. No. Not ever. Lydia’s foot had remained on her leg, or maybe it was Danny’s. Either way, Allison couldn’t really look at either of them as they talked about how easy their AP class loads were going to be. They talked about syllabi and sports, and if Lydia should suddenly become a cheer leader. She and Danny laughed like they weren’t both hurting from pain, lots of pain. It was like Allison could feel it, like they were sending it off them in waves.
She ate her salad in silence, looking up and nodding at the few questions that were flung her way, or saying something non-committal to weekend plans, because she was still grounded, and she was completely not wanting to go, it was a lacrosse thing. They parted before the bell rang, and Allison finally decided that she was going to make it. Except she had AP Physics, and as much as she hadn’t seen head or tail of Scott, he was there, sitting quietly and trying not to seem slightly ecstatic that she was walking through the door, he had chosen the furthest desk from the front door, so she chose the closest desk to that said door, but one desk back; she wasn’t a nerd, not yet anyways.
Allison was seeing red for a little while, not literally, because she wasn’t a werewolf, but metaphors like that seemed apropos. Well one hour, then another hour, and she could go home, or rather go to the burger shop on the way home, then change for practice, then maybe do homework if she felt up to it.
Class was hell. The teacher had a seating chart, and Argent happened to be a lot closer to McCall than either of them wanted to be. But yeah, there was a definite apologizing smile when she had caught him looking at her. She was furious. And of course Lydia wasn’t having the burger stand idea, no, she was going to be busy, but Allison had politely asked to be dropped off at the burger stand anyways, she would eat and be home in plenty of time, no problem. Lydia reluctantly agreed, but only because she wanted to pick up the book of Latin that she had ordered from a distant library, and burger stand drop offs were perfect excuses to go downtown.
The ride wasn’t particularly chatty, just quiet and short questions about classes, if she had any incidents, and yeah, Allison lied, so what? Lydia must have already known, if she was even asking. She always knew everything. Lydia was too smart, too perceptive and much more connected than anyone would have guessed from her front of superiority. The burger stand was empty, so Allison thanked Lydia again, and went up to the front counter, ignoring the look from one of the Deputies that also happened to be a hunter, and looking for which flavor of shake she was craving. The owner served her a number, along with the cup of water she had asked for, and told her to go ahead and her food was going to magic itself to her table.
She looked around for an empty booth far away from the hunter, but he was centrally located around everything. That’s when she saw the corner, just out of his sight, and yes, it looked empty. So Allison took it, she wanted to eat her meal and feel vindicated and angry and let it fuel her practice, which would hopefully be blissfully complex and physically based. She wanted to do automatic things, and thinking wasn’t automatic. She shrugged off her jacket, a light olive green thing that she had worn a few years back. Sure it was a bit small, but her mother had once said that women could get away with it, that layers were made for this sort of thing. Or maybe she had said that about something else. Or maybe she never said it.
Allison rounded the corner, but heard something from behind her, so she turned, the hunter was getting up, moving towards the door with purpose, maybe to inform her father that she was out of school, maybe the hunter was just done with the meal in front of him, and needed to get back to work, either way Allison didn’t care too much. She threw her jacket into the booth, and took her seat.
The muddled humph made her jump. There, in the supposed to be empty booth, the one that was just out of sight from the hunter, sat one very put-upon-looking Derek Hale. He looked at her jacket for a second, then at her, then at her jacket, which was touching his thigh, then at her again, taking in her much shorter hair, then back to her jacket. His greasy burger and fries were basically untouched, or rather they were touched, but now they were just sitting there, like he had been waiting for them to start running before he pounced on them, like the animal that was in him.
But then Derek did something amazingly human, “that was interesting.”
Allison shook her head, “what?”
“I’ve been trailed by that guy all day, I didn’t know if he was a hunter or just thinking that I was up to my usual quasi-murderous rages, but I guess he must have been a hunter. Did you want to talk? Or should I be worried about my food?”
Allison had heard from both Stiles and Scott how little Derek talked, but this was surprisingly not what she expected from her first solo experience with him. Not at all.
“Umm…” that was the only sound that had escaped from her mouth.
“Sit,” it wasn’t a command, a request.
Allison sat. She wasn’t sure why, she just did. “Did you come here to talk about Saturday?”
Allison searched her mind, Saturday night, she was sleeping in bed, and there was a knock at the back door, and that was all she heard, but she was sleeping, and Scott was there, she remembered that much. His shadow was more blatant than usual, like he wasn’t trying to stay hidden.
Derek looked at his burger again, it hand finger marks on it, the finger marks that clearly showed that he had picked up his food, but placed it back down, “how much do you hate me? Enough to poison me?”
Allison didn’t think she would ever do that to anyone, no, she wasn’t a poison type of girl, she was a stabber, “no, I can’t speak for the hunter that was here before, but I wouldn’t give orders to poison you, that being said, I have Argent brand wolf’s bane in my back pocket, always carry a bullet, just in case, and I will allow you to burn it, just to save yourself, here.” She pulled out the bullet, handed it to Derek, and that was that. He took a bite. “What happened on Saturday?”
Derek smiled, apparently the burger was safe. “Isaac convinced me to tell your dad that there was an Omega in the woods, not far from town. He wanted to join our pack, or he didn’t want to, I couldn’t decide, he was acting a little disoriented. So Isaac told your dad, and I heard you wake up, you might have seen me. I don’t know, just thought you were mad about me sneaking outside your window.”
The waitress came with Allison’s burger, fries and shake. They looked good. “I thought it was Scott. And yeah, I was upset, but not because I thought it was you. I don’t want him to pine for me so close, it hurts.”
Derek assessed her face, “I can tell him not to, although, it might not stop him, he has a will of his own.”
Derek looked, thoughtful for a second. Allison didn’t have anything to add at the moment. She took a drink of chocolate ice cream malt mix, and decided that she should have gone with strawberry. “I heard Lydia drop you off. You said that you had a training appointment,” Derek took a bit out of a few fries. “You going to be late?”
Allison polished off the burger, she was comfortably full now and this conversation, this interaction, wasn’t bad. It felt almost normal. But then she thought about it more, and she decided that she really shouldn’t think about it right now. She would be angry, and there was one single wolves’ bane bullet just sitting on the table, it would be tempting. And yet, as she thought all about that, there is no anger, no will to kill. Just comfortable silence, and yeah, that hint of danger that she had missed a bit. Allison took a fry, she hadn’t said anything in minutes, she probably should. “Yeah, probably.”
Derek leveled a thoughtful stare at her, “I’ll give you a ride.”
It wasn’t a request, but Allison knew that she could say no if she wanted to. But here, in the comfortable silence, in the feeling of greasy burgers and fries, she decided not to stop herself. Derek pulled out his wallet, put a few singles down on the table, and picked up his leather jacket from the corner of the booth, he put it on, straightening up all the while. Allison finished her chocolate shake, feeling bemused that this was her most normal interaction of the month, the one that she thought would put her off the deep end more than any other, and soon she was standing too.
Derek held her jacket out, both hands, like he would help her put it on if she asked him to, but she just took it, and he held the door, and he opened her door on the car, and then he pulled up to her house, and they said terse goodbyes and that was it.
When Allison walked into the house, as the Camero was turning around the bend and out of sight, she might have felt a small smile touch her face. And yeah, she was definitely going to have to think about all of this later.
***