Work Text:
Mike was working late in the office that night, having been entrusted (by Mike) with the duty of making some calls.
"It's pretty easy work," he'd said, handing them a file with the numbers and the details for each call. "Nothin' you can't handle, I'm sure! I believe in you."
It was going pretty well up until then—they'd dial the number, say something along the lines of "Hey, dis is Mike", relay whatever information was needed, make a quick memo if necessary, then move on to the next number.
Easy work. Busywork. They'd make Mike proud.
They picked up the phone to dial the next number.
Ring... ring... ring...
"HELLO?"
"Hey, it's Mike. Just wanted to let you's know dat—"
"MIKE? MIKE?!"
They had to hold the handset further from their head for a moment, as loud, frazzled laughter came through the line.
"MIKE! [[Long time no see]]!! I THOUGHT I'D [[Never say never!]] HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN!!"
"Uh, I's—"
"NOT AFTER... Not after what happened last time..."
They had a bad feeling about this guy.
"Uh, yanno, I gots to go—"
"WAIT! [[Stay with me...]]! MIKE!! I NEED YOUR HELP!! IF YOU COULD JUST LOAN YOUR [[Good ol' pal]] A FEW KR—"
"W-Wrong number. Sorry. Bye."
They slammed the phone down. They checked the file again, slowly redialing each digit to make sure they didn't make a mistake. They were on edge as the phone rang.
"Hello?"
Thankfully, the weird man didn't pick up.
"Hey, dis is Mike..."
The rest of the evening went without a hitch.
"Holy fuck. HOLY fuck. Guy, that's the mailman. You got the mailman's number. You dialed the FUCKING mailman and I wasn't HERE for it?!"
"Uhh, yea."
The Pippins collapsed onto his knees, groaning into his hands.